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Anon is in a strange situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)09:53:11 No.868814404 >dates a girl for 3 months >she's really cool, we have similar interests and sense of humor >finally going to have sex with her >unzip my pants >"What is that thing? What do you 21 KB JPG expect me to do with that?" >w-what? >"It's like a third arm. I don't have room for that." >she leaves my apartment >we text later, says she had an ex that tore her vag with her d--- >apparently, he was "big" but still not as "big" as me (I'm a little over 7 and a half inches, about 6 inches thick) >now she's afraid of large d---- >she apologizes and says we aren't compatible >we agree to break up >feelsbadman >over the next two days, get texts from three of her friends and her cousin (all female) to hookup >feelsbetterman

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)09:53:11 No.868814404 >dates a girl for 3 months >she's really cool, we have similar interests and sense of humor >finally going to have sex with her >unzip my pants >"What is that thing? What do you 21 KB JPG expect me to do with that?" >w-what? >"It's like a third arm. I don't have room for that." >she leaves my apartment >we text later, says she had an ex that tore her vag with her d--- >apparently, he was "big" but still not as "big" as me (I'm a little over 7 and a half inches, about 6 inches thick) >now she's afraid of large d---- >she apologizes and says we aren't compatible >we agree to break up >feelsbadman >over the next two days, get texts from three of her friends and her cousin (all female) to hookup >feelsbetterman

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Anon is a normal person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:22:33 No.62367736 >Getting increasingly angry at my fat sister for being fat. >Resent having to sit next to her at things like theaters. >Was subtle for years but now 9 KB JPG telling her she needs to improve her ability to bend down to get things so she can stop crying at me to do it every day or telling her she needs to make sure she can fit in a plane seat when we go on family trips. >Repulsed by her three chins, can't remember the last time I hugged her outside of a funeral. >Hate the fat slur in her voice and her breathing struggles while watching Tv. I should feel like a a------ but I don't.

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:22:33 No.62367736 >Getting increasingly angry at my fat sister for being fat. >Resent having to sit next to her at things like theaters. >Was subtle for years but now 9 KB JPG telling her she needs to improve her ability to bend down to get things so she can stop crying at me to do it every day or telling her she needs to make sure she can fit in a plane seat when we go on family trips. >Repulsed by her three chins, can't remember the last time I hugged her outside of a funeral. >Hate the fat slur in her voice and her breathing struggles while watching Tv. I should feel like a a------ but I don't.

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Just a little bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

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Anon got STDs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)01:19:42 No.66236816 >have sex for first time at 22 with attractive woman >hate it, didn't enjoy it at all >lasted several hours until she was too sore to continue >she said she really enjoyed it and wants to do it again 35 KB JPG >go to her bathroom, look at my body in the mirror and feel disgusting what does it mean r9k? is sex evil or just not that big a deal? Is something wrong with me?

: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)01:19:42 No.66236816 >have sex for first time at 22 with attractive woman >hate it, didn't enjoy it at all >lasted several hours until she was too sore to continue >she said she really enjoyed it and wants to do it again 35 KB JPG >go to her bathroom, look at my body in the mirror and feel disgusting what does it mean r9k? is sex evil or just not that big a deal? Is something wrong with me?

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Anon doesn’t like plushies | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a Satanist | /r/Greentext

File: 1331529826.jpg-(36 KB, 400x393) Anonymous (ID: CKYX441G) 03/12/12(Mon)01:23:46 No.386385757 [Reply] Ask a Satanist anything. Anonymous (ID: yulJ/kXY) 03/12/12(Mon)01:25:35 No.386386057 How's the 8th grade going?

File: 1331529826.jpg-(36 KB, 400x393) Anonymous (ID: CKYX441G) 03/12/12(Mon)01:23:46 No.386385757 [Reply] Ask a Satanist anything. Anonymous (ID: yulJ/kXY) 03/12/12(Mon)01:25:35 No.386386057 How's the 8th grade going?

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

Board Ir9k/ - ROBOT9001 Settings Mobile Home File: 1619887041098.png (226 KB, 394x397) Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)09:05:21 No.67711014 [Reply] >>67711599 >have a dream >walking down the street >see a beautiful girl >approach her and say 'hi' >we talk a bit,l tell her my name and last name like James Bond would >she tells me hers >tell her where I work, how much I make >Anon, I like when I am being chased >pull her closer and tell her 'run' >she runs away >I follow her >she runs into her backyard >her mom comes out >'I think you should leave' >tell her I don't know what she is talking about but leave nonetheless >next day at work (still a dream) >colleague tells me that there have been multiple reports on our employees and one of them on me >read the header >recognize the surname >it is her mom >letter proceeds to describe how I sexually assaulted her daughter and how I bring shame to my company and there is a report to police >get suspended until further notice Bros, I suck even in my own dreams >> Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)09:49:37 No.67711323 >>67711421 Once a loser always a loser

Board Ir9k/ - ROBOT9001 Settings Mobile Home File: 1619887041098.png (226 KB, 394x397) Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)09:05:21 No.67711014 [Reply] >>67711599 >have a dream >walking down the street >see a beautiful girl >approach her and say 'hi' >we talk a bit,l tell her my name and last name like James Bond would >she tells me hers >tell her where I work, how much I make >Anon, I like when I am being chased >pull her closer and tell her 'run' >she runs away >I follow her >she runs into her backyard >her mom comes out >'I think you should leave' >tell her I don't know what she is talking about but leave nonetheless >next day at work (still a dream) >colleague tells me that there have been multiple reports on our employees and one of them on me >read the header >recognize the surname >it is her mom >letter proceeds to describe how I sexually assaulted her daughter and how I bring shame to my company and there is a report to police >get suspended until further notice Bros, I suck even in my own dreams >> Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)09:49:37 No.67711323 >>67711421 Once a loser always a loser

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Anon's ex girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/20(Sat)01:40:34 No.61119312 R---- by girlfriend >get drunk and have sex with girl 2 years ago >that girl eventually becomes my girlfriend >yesterday at a family gathering she says "I actually had to get anon drunk to loosen him up a 141 KB JPG little and make it official" >everyone laughs >it all makes sense now >that day I was really drunk and she was sober >kept handing me drinks and eventually took me to her car and started blowing me I don't mind, honestly, but the fact that everyone laughed it's scary, the double standard. Can you imagine if I would've said that? "Yeah I got her drunk then took her back to my car to f---" CAN YOU IMAGINE? I would've been lynched in the spot. Girls are such hypocrites. My sisters laughed, my female cousins laughed, they said "Yeah anon was too shy, he needed a woman to smack some sense into him" What the f--- is wrong with these w-----, h--------

: Anonymous 11/28/20(Sat)01:40:34 No.61119312 R---- by girlfriend >get drunk and have sex with girl 2 years ago >that girl eventually becomes my girlfriend >yesterday at a family gathering she says "I actually had to get anon drunk to loosen him up a 141 KB JPG little and make it official" >everyone laughs >it all makes sense now >that day I was really drunk and she was sober >kept handing me drinks and eventually took me to her car and started blowing me I don't mind, honestly, but the fact that everyone laughed it's scary, the double standard. Can you imagine if I would've said that? "Yeah I got her drunk then took her back to my car to f---" CAN YOU IMAGINE? I would've been lynched in the spot. Girls are such hypocrites. My sisters laughed, my female cousins laughed, they said "Yeah anon was too shy, he needed a woman to smack some sense into him" What the f--- is wrong with these w-----, h--------

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anon has an idol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:53:26 No.67713514 >be in high school >be in "who's your idol?" class activity >"who is your idol anon?" >"Hatsune Miku" >"whoa anon are you weeb?"-some chads behind chuckle 10 KB JPG >teacher turns to class thot >"who is your idol Anette?" >"Ching Bling Ping Pong" or something related to K- pop >all of girls in class start howling like a pack of wolf why do I even live? 10 Replies / 6 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)21:01:12 No.67713589 augusto-pinochet-hero.jpg 88 KB JPG >>67713514 (OP) # >whos your idol >Augusto Pinochet

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:53:26 No.67713514 >be in high school >be in "who's your idol?" class activity >"who is your idol anon?" >"Hatsune Miku" >"whoa anon are you weeb?"-some chads behind chuckle 10 KB JPG >teacher turns to class thot >"who is your idol Anette?" >"Ching Bling Ping Pong" or something related to K- pop >all of girls in class start howling like a pack of wolf why do I even live? 10 Replies / 6 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)21:01:12 No.67713589 augusto-pinochet-hero.jpg 88 KB JPG >>67713514 (OP) # >whos your idol >Augusto Pinochet

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Anon admires Hank Hill | /r/Greentext

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xue xue hua piao piao bei feng xiao xiao | /r/Greentext

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Anon stands up | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p----- jpg >the intercom tuns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing l've done all day"

File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p----- jpg >the intercom tuns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing l've done all day"

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Glow in the dank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them >I tell him I do and that they're used by other 13 KB PNG people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them >I tell him I do and that they're used by other 13 KB PNG people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

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Anon wipes too fast | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)00:56:29 No.874068891 >driving in the rain >notice my wipers are on a higher speed than those of other drivers >worried they think I'm retarded Does anyone else do this 103 KB PNG

Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)00:56:29 No.874068891 >driving in the rain >notice my wipers are on a higher speed than those of other drivers >worried they think I'm retarded Does anyone else do this 103 KB PNG

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Anon takes psychedelics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8KISAUH7 03/09/22(Wed)06:24:56 No.366139710 >take psychedelics >realise life is about love and not work nor politics >go to visit family, have to fill up car >$5 a gallon F------ Biden 480 KB PNG 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

: Anonymous (ID: 8KISAUH7 03/09/22(Wed)06:24:56 No.366139710 >take psychedelics >realise life is about love and not work nor politics >go to visit family, have to fill up car >$5 a gallon F------ Biden 480 KB PNG 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is not a mathematician | /r/Greentext

>be me, 7yo im gunna lose it >math class >"alright class, can you solve 25-20 ?" >raise hand >"yes anon ?" >"it's -5 !" 17 KB JPG >teacher looks at me awkwardly >"w-well yes but you are not supposed to know that" >wat >"see class, you can't substract a number if the first number in the operation is greater than the second one, since there is nothing inferior to zero" >WAT >"but teach whenever I watch the weather report, when it's cold we see negative numbers !" (i'm in celsius, -1C is 30F for reference) >"yes but you're supposed to learn that later" >"but I know it now" >"it's just for this lesson, don't worry, just write it down" >"why would I write something false ?" >start throwing a tantrum because even tho i'm right, i'm also f------ seven >get a note in my notebook for bad behavior >parents confiscate my pokemon cards >can't make a stance for myself because I can't argue without crying it's been 15 years and I still remember it. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:10:24 No.67713155 >>67713133 (OP) # >alright class, can you solve 25-20 ? >it's -5 ! absolute retard.

>be me, 7yo im gunna lose it >math class >"alright class, can you solve 25-20 ?" >raise hand >"yes anon ?" >"it's -5 !" 17 KB JPG >teacher looks at me awkwardly >"w-well yes but you are not supposed to know that" >wat >"see class, you can't substract a number if the first number in the operation is greater than the second one, since there is nothing inferior to zero" >WAT >"but teach whenever I watch the weather report, when it's cold we see negative numbers !" (i'm in celsius, -1C is 30F for reference) >"yes but you're supposed to learn that later" >"but I know it now" >"it's just for this lesson, don't worry, just write it down" >"why would I write something false ?" >start throwing a tantrum because even tho i'm right, i'm also f------ seven >get a note in my notebook for bad behavior >parents confiscate my pokemon cards >can't make a stance for myself because I can't argue without crying it's been 15 years and I still remember it. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:10:24 No.67713155 >>67713133 (OP) # >alright class, can you solve 25-20 ? >it's -5 ! absolute retard.

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Anon is special | /r/Greentext

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Anon's an e-girl | /r/Greentext

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>1000 hours on 4chan >not recommended | /r/Greentext

File: hqdefault jpg (10 KB, 480x360) O Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:55:32 >>442641520 >>442641738 >>442641745 >>4421 >1000-3000 hours on record >not recommended Not Recommended 2,343.0 hrs on record Why do people do this? Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:56 12 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 56: 16 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:56 >>442640492 (OP) >1000-3000 hours on heroin >not recommended > Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 57:08 No 442640595 > Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:09 No 442640597 >> Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:36 No.442640620 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:40 No.442640627 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 57:57 No.442640639 >442640960 >>442642330 I lived for 30 years and i would not recommend living

File: hqdefault jpg (10 KB, 480x360) O Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:55:32 >>442641520 >>442641738 >>442641745 >>4421 >1000-3000 hours on record >not recommended Not Recommended 2,343.0 hrs on record Why do people do this? Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:56 12 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 56: 16 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:56 >>442640492 (OP) >1000-3000 hours on heroin >not recommended > Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 57:08 No 442640595 > Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:09 No 442640597 >> Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:36 No.442640620 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:40 No.442640627 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 57:57 No.442640639 >442640960 >>442642330 I lived for 30 years and i would not recommend living

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Anon is a burger flipper. | /r/Greentext

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