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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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7000 members and now I'm officially 1 ton | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.842375793 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.842375793 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG

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anon is waiting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SYKALAIC ) 02/24/22(Thu)00:12:32 No.362800779 I will sit here and shitpost on the funny politics board until an explosion directly hits my apartment and kills me instantly 33 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: SYKALAIC ) 02/24/22(Thu)00:12:32 No.362800779 I will sit here and shitpost on the funny politics board until an explosion directly hits my apartment and kills me instantly 33 KB JPG

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Guilty as charged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:05:46 No.719447132 ITT: Pretend we're reddit 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:08:03 No.719447353 >s----- film reference >gay dad joke "'WOW thanks for the gold guys, lets all meet up and have a massive o--- because of how perfect we all are' >>719447581 # >>719447619 # >>719447968 # : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:10:29 No.719447581 >>719447353 # /thread
: Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:05:46 No.719447132 ITT: Pretend we're reddit 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:08:03 No.719447353 >s----- film reference >gay dad joke "'WOW thanks for the gold guys, lets all meet up and have a massive o--- because of how perfect we all are' >>719447581 # >>719447619 # >>719447968 # : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:10:29 No.719447581 >>719447353 # /thread

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anon's school was worried about his comic strip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)00:56:04 No.67308084 back in high school they sent me to the school's psychologist because my teacher found my comics notebook and they thought I was going to kill myself or something like that. I still believe those comics were really funny, specially the ping pong chad and the backflip abortion 45 KB JPG ones. I think that day my creativity died because I didn't draw comics since, I felt so judged despite it being created only for comical purposes : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)00:59:04 No.67308105 >>67308084 (OP) # What kind of comics were they anyway and why your teacher got panicked with them? >>67308283 # : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)01:18:05 No.67308283 >>67308105 # I think that the one that worried them was "ping pong chad", it might look long but it isn't, goes like this: 13 KB PNG >ugly manlet approaches stacy and says "umm hey susan, I liked you since elementary school, I wondered if we could maybe go a date this weekend and get to know eachot.." Stacy interrupts him and says "yeah whatever I'm not dating you, bag of dog c--" >superbuffed chad appears on the scene and says "hey bitch want to see how many ping pong balls can I fit in my foreskin?" and stacy replies "OMG Chad yesss!" "ugly manlet gets choleric and grabs a pistol and starts shouting "I'm tired of this, you all always ignore me and treat me like s---, now I will kill myself and you're coming with me, you will know the fear and suffering I feel everyday!" >chad says "not so fast, incel freak!" and expulses a ping pong ball at high speed out of his foreskin, conviniently hitting the guy's belt and thus letting his pants fall, showing that he was wearing women's underwear >everyone starts laughing and the incel ends up having a mental breakdown, saying things like "god no woman will ever love me, I condemned to solitude and pain". He finally blows his head withn a the gun and dies >the final panel shows chad being praised by a multitude saying "yay you saved us chad!" while he keeps doing tricks with his foreskin and the ping pong balls
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)00:56:04 No.67308084 back in high school they sent me to the school's psychologist because my teacher found my comics notebook and they thought I was going to kill myself or something like that. I still believe those comics were really funny, specially the ping pong chad and the backflip abortion 45 KB JPG ones. I think that day my creativity died because I didn't draw comics since, I felt so judged despite it being created only for comical purposes : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)00:59:04 No.67308105 >>67308084 (OP) # What kind of comics were they anyway and why your teacher got panicked with them? >>67308283 # : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)01:18:05 No.67308283 >>67308105 # I think that the one that worried them was "ping pong chad", it might look long but it isn't, goes like this: 13 KB PNG >ugly manlet approaches stacy and says "umm hey susan, I liked you since elementary school, I wondered if we could maybe go a date this weekend and get to know eachot.." Stacy interrupts him and says "yeah whatever I'm not dating you, bag of dog c--" >superbuffed chad appears on the scene and says "hey bitch want to see how many ping pong balls can I fit in my foreskin?" and stacy replies "OMG Chad yesss!" "ugly manlet gets choleric and grabs a pistol and starts shouting "I'm tired of this, you all always ignore me and treat me like s---, now I will kill myself and you're coming with me, you will know the fear and suffering I feel everyday!" >chad says "not so fast, incel freak!" and expulses a ping pong ball at high speed out of his foreskin, conviniently hitting the guy's belt and thus letting his pants fall, showing that he was wearing women's underwear >everyone starts laughing and the incel ends up having a mental breakdown, saying things like "god no woman will ever love me, I condemned to solitude and pain". He finally blows his head withn a the gun and dies >the final panel shows chad being praised by a multitude saying "yay you saved us chad!" while he keeps doing tricks with his foreskin and the ping pong balls

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Anon figures out life | /r/Greentext

ttom] [Update] [ Auto] jng (18 KB, 389x389) IAnonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy.
ttom] [Update] [ Auto] jng (18 KB, 389x389) IAnonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy.

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Anon meets a woman. | /r/Greentext

>Be me 25 y/o 6ft man >Looking for a house to rent >l dress business casual, looking professional >walk into a house tour >Cute 4.5ft tall asian milf, probably in her mid 40s is showing the place >at first, she looks a little scared and 499 KB JPG shows me everything quickly >Understandable, it's just the both of us there >l walk behind her, she kinda thicc doe > She is barefoot >All Can think of is how good that ass feels and how good her feet smell and taste > hard as f--- >tuck in d--- onto my waist band/belt while she isn't looking >she asks me some questions about me, habits, job, normal house renting stuff >she seems interested in me renting since I got my s--- together >While talking, all I can think in my mind is how easy it would be for me to pin her down on the floor >Rip her clothes off and furiously f--- her, stretching her tiny tight p---- >Perhaps she could read my mind, I felt great sexual tension >she asked me about my gf >I say That Currently I'm dating around, no gf >"oh wow, but you real handsome! Big and strong haha you look like a quarterback " >l giggle and say thank you >her body position and the way she looked at me had me thinking she wanted me to pin her down and f--- her too. >sadly, I had to leave and I gave her my contact info to send me the app >I went to my car, drove to a nearby target parking lot and fapped and bursted c-- into a water bottle >the house got rented the next day Now I have the yellow fever. I need asian p----!
>Be me 25 y/o 6ft man >Looking for a house to rent >l dress business casual, looking professional >walk into a house tour >Cute 4.5ft tall asian milf, probably in her mid 40s is showing the place >at first, she looks a little scared and 499 KB JPG shows me everything quickly >Understandable, it's just the both of us there >l walk behind her, she kinda thicc doe > She is barefoot >All Can think of is how good that ass feels and how good her feet smell and taste > hard as f--- >tuck in d--- onto my waist band/belt while she isn't looking >she asks me some questions about me, habits, job, normal house renting stuff >she seems interested in me renting since I got my s--- together >While talking, all I can think in my mind is how easy it would be for me to pin her down on the floor >Rip her clothes off and furiously f--- her, stretching her tiny tight p---- >Perhaps she could read my mind, I felt great sexual tension >she asked me about my gf >I say That Currently I'm dating around, no gf >"oh wow, but you real handsome! Big and strong haha you look like a quarterback " >l giggle and say thank you >her body position and the way she looked at me had me thinking she wanted me to pin her down and f--- her too. >sadly, I had to leave and I gave her my contact info to send me the app >I went to my car, drove to a nearby target parking lot and fapped and bursted c-- into a water bottle >the house got rented the next day Now I have the yellow fever. I need asian p----!

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Anon preaches truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: xphr6pDr 02/26/22(Sat)00:03:59 No.363276688 How the f--- did we even enter this timeline? 54 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: TdgXv8Ru 02/26/22(Sat)00:04:50 No.363276898 >>363289134 # : Anonymous (ID: BK5MİZAD 02/26/22(Sat)00:08:34 No.363277792 >>363276688(OP) # Harambe >>363277917 # >>363278593 # >>363278703 # >>363279999 >>363289202 #
: Anonymous (ID: xphr6pDr 02/26/22(Sat)00:03:59 No.363276688 How the f--- did we even enter this timeline? 54 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: TdgXv8Ru 02/26/22(Sat)00:04:50 No.363276898 >>363289134 # : Anonymous (ID: BK5MİZAD 02/26/22(Sat)00:08:34 No.363277792 >>363276688(OP) # Harambe >>363277917 # >>363278593 # >>363278703 # >>363279999 >>363289202 #

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Ukraine's True Secret Weapon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FVTbi9q9 ) 02/25/22(Fri)13:31:28 No.363200924 obraz_2022-02-25_133028.png 45 KB PNG >>363200545 # The real ghost of Kiev
: Anonymous (ID: FVTbi9q9 ) 02/25/22(Fri)13:31:28 No.363200924 obraz_2022-02-25_133028.png 45 KB PNG >>363200545 # The real ghost of Kiev

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Anon makes a recovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)20:52:24 No.789321110 >be me, 23yo, shy c--- >spent three years in a toxic relationship being constantly emotionally abused >ex dumped me for some swaggot couple years back because he was a f------- and got bored of me >apparently ended poorly (who would've thought?) 11 KB JPG >texted me some time back that she missed me and how I always treated her well and pampered her and how she's sorry fuckthatnoise.mp3 >left her on read and moved on, still feeling a bunch of inner turmoil >ran into her at local market today >she came up to me (even though I did my best to avoid her) >tries initiating conversation >something inside me gets ignited >"I'm sorry, do I know you?" >she's confused and goes "are you f------ kidding, it's me, xxxxxx" >"Ooh, s---, I didn't recognize you! THAT'S what you look like now? Talk about dodging a f------ bullet." >l walk off without saying anything else to her >saw her walking out bawling her eyes out >I feel closure and empowerment, anons >I think I'm ready for the dating scene again
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)20:52:24 No.789321110 >be me, 23yo, shy c--- >spent three years in a toxic relationship being constantly emotionally abused >ex dumped me for some swaggot couple years back because he was a f------- and got bored of me >apparently ended poorly (who would've thought?) 11 KB JPG >texted me some time back that she missed me and how I always treated her well and pampered her and how she's sorry fuckthatnoise.mp3 >left her on read and moved on, still feeling a bunch of inner turmoil >ran into her at local market today >she came up to me (even though I did my best to avoid her) >tries initiating conversation >something inside me gets ignited >"I'm sorry, do I know you?" >she's confused and goes "are you f------ kidding, it's me, xxxxxx" >"Ooh, s---, I didn't recognize you! THAT'S what you look like now? Talk about dodging a f------ bullet." >l walk off without saying anything else to her >saw her walking out bawling her eyes out >I feel closure and empowerment, anons >I think I'm ready for the dating scene again

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Anon is a historian. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6lrNIHp6 ) EE 02/25/22(Fri)13:25:57 No.363210781 >be russia >claim to re-establish soviet union >claim to have a super power army >invade the crippled neighbour next door >??? 537 KB PNG >abt 2000 losses in two days and failing almost all of their objectives Jesus f--- how can Russia and vatniks f--- up so bad? I mean Putin most cope right now and he even wants to start peace talk in Minsk.
: Anonymous (ID: 6lrNIHp6 ) EE 02/25/22(Fri)13:25:57 No.363210781 >be russia >claim to re-establish soviet union >claim to have a super power army >invade the crippled neighbour next door >??? 537 KB PNG >abt 2000 losses in two days and failing almost all of their objectives Jesus f--- how can Russia and vatniks f--- up so bad? I mean Putin most cope right now and he even wants to start peace talk in Minsk.

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Anon is a prankster | /r/Greentext

>Call my local bowling alley >"Do you have 30 lb balls? I can't really lift/throw anything heavier." >"Yes we do have 30 lb balls." >"THEN HOW DO YOU WALK!?!" >Hang up the phone НАНАНАНАНАНАНАНА
>Call my local bowling alley >"Do you have 30 lb balls? I can't really lift/throw anything heavier." >"Yes we do have 30 lb balls." >"THEN HOW DO YOU WALK!?!" >Hang up the phone НАНАНАНАНАНАНАНА

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Anon copes and seethes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)13:12:55 No.65711497 >>65711465 # >you will never princess carry a tomboy while she lightly punches you in the shoulders and calls you lame >you will never be hanging out with a tomboy when a storm hits and find out she's cripplingly terrified of 557 KB JPG thunder >you will never get /fit/ with a tomboy >you will never go to the track meet/swim meet/softball game/football game/judo match of your tomboy gf and cheer her on as she kicks everyone's ass, then have her run into the stands to hug you after she wins and tell you she knew she had to do her best when she saw you in the stands >you will never help a tomboy study for her big test so she gets a good enough grade to stay on the team >a tomboy will never attempt to cook for you and f--- it all up becaue she's never cooked in her life but you eat it anyways just to see her smile >you will never coerce a tomboy into wearing a frilly, girly dress and watch as she squirms around all self- conscious and shy >>65711591 # >>65711837 # >>65711874 # >>65712178 #
: Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)13:12:55 No.65711497 >>65711465 # >you will never princess carry a tomboy while she lightly punches you in the shoulders and calls you lame >you will never be hanging out with a tomboy when a storm hits and find out she's cripplingly terrified of 557 KB JPG thunder >you will never get /fit/ with a tomboy >you will never go to the track meet/swim meet/softball game/football game/judo match of your tomboy gf and cheer her on as she kicks everyone's ass, then have her run into the stands to hug you after she wins and tell you she knew she had to do her best when she saw you in the stands >you will never help a tomboy study for her big test so she gets a good enough grade to stay on the team >a tomboy will never attempt to cook for you and f--- it all up becaue she's never cooked in her life but you eat it anyways just to see her smile >you will never coerce a tomboy into wearing a frilly, girly dress and watch as she squirms around all self- conscious and shy >>65711591 # >>65711837 # >>65711874 # >>65712178 #

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Anon makes a request | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:01:05 No.848384941 hey can you guys watch my milk for me, I gotta step out for a minute >> U Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:04:49 No.848385185 File: 2021-02-26.png (464 KB, 640x610) >>848385697 Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:13:36 No.848385697 File: sade jpg (67 KB, 1024x962) >>848385185 y drink milk? he say watch it no drink pls
Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:01:05 No.848384941 hey can you guys watch my milk for me, I gotta step out for a minute >> U Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:04:49 No.848385185 File: 2021-02-26.png (464 KB, 640x610) >>848385697 Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:13:36 No.848385697 File: sade jpg (67 KB, 1024x962) >>848385185 y drink milk? he say watch it no drink pls

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Anon gets put in place | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:24:41 No.53599618 >be me in highschool >one day the teacher asks the class what album or song he should play >most of the class asked him to play lil pump or BTS or whatever s--- to have the teacher play >teacher picks me and I say Master of Puppets album from Metallica >he plays it and the entire class is saying to pick 73 KB JPG something else >MFW I'm the only one that enjoys rock and metal music of my class >MFW everyone is saying that it's garbage : Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:28:12 No.53599650 >>53599618 (OP) # Yeah you were born in the wrong generation huh? Take your boomer rock and f--- off to the nursing home. >>53599805 #
: Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:24:41 No.53599618 >be me in highschool >one day the teacher asks the class what album or song he should play >most of the class asked him to play lil pump or BTS or whatever s--- to have the teacher play >teacher picks me and I say Master of Puppets album from Metallica >he plays it and the entire class is saying to pick 73 KB JPG something else >MFW I'm the only one that enjoys rock and metal music of my class >MFW everyone is saying that it's garbage : Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:28:12 No.53599650 >>53599618 (OP) # Yeah you were born in the wrong generation huh? Take your boomer rock and f--- off to the nursing home. >>53599805 #

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Anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F--- LIFE 02/24/22(Thu)20:56:06 No.67566098 I just realized i had bad luck >Grew up with schizophrenic mom >grew up with schizophrenic website (4chan) 73 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)20:57:02 No.67566106 >hes just now realizing >>67566157 # : Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)20:58:25 No.67566115 >>67566098 (OP) # >schizophrenic sees everyone around him as being the "true schizophrenics" Many such cases, SAD!
: Anonymous F--- LIFE 02/24/22(Thu)20:56:06 No.67566098 I just realized i had bad luck >Grew up with schizophrenic mom >grew up with schizophrenic website (4chan) 73 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)20:57:02 No.67566106 >hes just now realizing >>67566157 # : Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)20:58:25 No.67566115 >>67566098 (OP) # >schizophrenic sees everyone around him as being the "true schizophrenics" Many such cases, SAD!

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Anon has dating advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #
: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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Anon is based af | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a weeb | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: PcQCMvkk ) EE 02/24/22(Thu)18:11:40 No.363047890 T TIME China's Alliance With Putin on Ukraine Confirms US Fears | Time 38 KB JPG IT'S OVER FOR MUTTS. No more trannies. No more bbc p---. No more race mixing. No more sucking d----. No more pride parades. No more LGBTQ+. No more prancing around in dresses. No more degeneracy. China and Russia are starting a New World Order and your vile degenerate mutt ways are not welcome. Anonymous (ID: NOXLRUQ8 ) I 02/24/22(Thu)18:27:35 No.363051903 >>363047890 (OP) >but the anime?
Anonymous (ID: PcQCMvkk ) EE 02/24/22(Thu)18:11:40 No.363047890 T TIME China's Alliance With Putin on Ukraine Confirms US Fears | Time 38 KB JPG IT'S OVER FOR MUTTS. No more trannies. No more bbc p---. No more race mixing. No more sucking d----. No more pride parades. No more LGBTQ+. No more prancing around in dresses. No more degeneracy. China and Russia are starting a New World Order and your vile degenerate mutt ways are not welcome. Anonymous (ID: NOXLRUQ8 ) I 02/24/22(Thu)18:27:35 No.363051903 >>363047890 (OP) >but the anime?

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Anon has made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 07/05/21(Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks 183 KB JPG me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >l never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.
: Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 07/05/21(Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks 183 KB JPG me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >l never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.

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