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Anon hates ads | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)05:24:51 No.783138448 whats with the american military ads during sports? >hurr durr, we are brave and s--- >army, navy, air force all 5-6 times powerful than other nations >all this power and technology to fight against some poor goat herders in 78 KB JPG desert isnt the goat herder really the brave one to stand up against this might? do americans larp it all up?
: Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)05:24:51 No.783138448 whats with the american military ads during sports? >hurr durr, we are brave and s--- >army, navy, air force all 5-6 times powerful than other nations >all this power and technology to fight against some poor goat herders in 78 KB JPG desert isnt the goat herder really the brave one to stand up against this might? do americans larp it all up?

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Anon is bald | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530 >>47833818 >>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? O Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 ► >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 ► >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?
File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530 >>47833818 >>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? O Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 ► >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 ► >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?

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anon teaches capitalism to crows | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 Nó.18926794 I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying 868 KB JPG somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies /1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 Nó.18926794 I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying 868 KB JPG somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Italian Stallion | /r/Greentext


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Anon jerks off | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)16:43:53 No.62751684 >>62751748 >>62751768 >>62751775 >>62751786 >>62751788 >>62751791 >>62751801 >>62751820 >>62751831 >be me 27 khhv >5/10 chubby girl comes into gas station every night >works at the weed store in the next town over and always stops for snacks/gas when she gets off work >finally decide to shoot my shot >"no thanks I don't really date guys who work at gas stations" >hit cancel payment on my screen >"looks like your card was declined" >she tries again >cancel payment again >"sorry if you can't pay you're going to have to leave" >"bbut.. im almost out of gas and there's nothing else around" >tell her that sucks but she has to leave >watch her walk to her car in a practical blizzard >go home >fall asleep peacefully after furiously jacking it to the idea of her freezing to death in her car
Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)16:43:53 No.62751684 >>62751748 >>62751768 >>62751775 >>62751786 >>62751788 >>62751791 >>62751801 >>62751820 >>62751831 >be me 27 khhv >5/10 chubby girl comes into gas station every night >works at the weed store in the next town over and always stops for snacks/gas when she gets off work >finally decide to shoot my shot >"no thanks I don't really date guys who work at gas stations" >hit cancel payment on my screen >"looks like your card was declined" >she tries again >cancel payment again >"sorry if you can't pay you're going to have to leave" >"bbut.. im almost out of gas and there's nothing else around" >tell her that sucks but she has to leave >watch her walk to her car in a practical blizzard >go home >fall asleep peacefully after furiously jacking it to the idea of her freezing to death in her car

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Anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/05/13(Sat)19:32:35 No.8992598 []>>8992605 >see mom outside watering the plants >tell mom that I got a girl pregnant >laughingmom.jpg >"those Japanese drawing of girls can't get pregnant, anon" l-love you too, mom.
O Anonymous 10/05/13(Sat)19:32:35 No.8992598 []>>8992605 >see mom outside watering the plants >tell mom that I got a girl pregnant >laughingmom.jpg >"those Japanese drawing of girls can't get pregnant, anon" l-love you too, mom.

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Anon goes to the weed store | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)10:48:40 No.62398719 Old memory just struck me. >at weed store owned by old white grandma looking lady >lots of good quality strains for good prices >would amp up my gay qualities because it made the owner laugh and she'd make my 9 KB JPG bags a lil bit heavier >one night old lady goes to the back of the store for some reason, calls her husband out to finish my order >quite, old, hulking, native american man shuffles out >ask for 2 grams of an indica, he puts a hefty 8g nug in my bag, then takes my payment. >Tells me "Thank you for making her laugh." as I leave. It was shut down by the police about 6 weeks later. Good times.
: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)10:48:40 No.62398719 Old memory just struck me. >at weed store owned by old white grandma looking lady >lots of good quality strains for good prices >would amp up my gay qualities because it made the owner laugh and she'd make my 9 KB JPG bags a lil bit heavier >one night old lady goes to the back of the store for some reason, calls her husband out to finish my order >quite, old, hulking, native american man shuffles out >ask for 2 grams of an indica, he puts a hefty 8g nug in my bag, then takes my payment. >Tells me "Thank you for making her laugh." as I leave. It was shut down by the police about 6 weeks later. Good times.

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Anon's existence is seen as a joke. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)06:10:29 No.67503752 >exit store >car drives by >two girls in the back seat >they point and me and laugh at me as the car drives by I'm just trying to exist 51 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)06:10:29 No.67503752 >exit store >car drives by >two girls in the back seat >they point and me and laugh at me as the car drives by I'm just trying to exist 51 KB PNG

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anon had friend | /r/Greentext


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Anon is khv | /r/Greentext

I wasted my teenage years. >didn't do drugs >didn't start a relationship or have sex >didn't have friends >didn't learn an instrument and 125 KB JPG start a s--- band >didn't go to sleepovers >only ever skipped school to stay home & cry >don't have any photos of myself because I never took any >didn't get a min wage summer job >didn't go to summer camp >don't have any interesting stories about my teenage years >didn't even try, really I'll never get those years back. I squandered them doing literally nothing. What have I done?
I wasted my teenage years. >didn't do drugs >didn't start a relationship or have sex >didn't have friends >didn't learn an instrument and 125 KB JPG start a s--- band >didn't go to sleepovers >only ever skipped school to stay home & cry >don't have any photos of myself because I never took any >didn't get a min wage summer job >didn't go to summer camp >don't have any interesting stories about my teenage years >didn't even try, really I'll never get those years back. I squandered them doing literally nothing. What have I done?

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Anon and the Chad | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous Good Chad Stories 10/19/18(Fri)17:56:42 No.4879715 >be me >about 2 years ago meve o >junior in high school >no friends >reading a light novel before gym in the changing room >chad senior walks up to me 264 KB JPG >"hey man i respect the grind" >comments on how he saw me everyday reading >says he's never seen someone like me these days >try really hard not to let him see the cover >he sees it anyway >"aw dude i love anime" >proceed to talk about dragon ball and mainstream s--- for a minute >time to go to gym >give him an awkward fist bump It's the closest i've gotten to a chad. I don't know where he is but I wish him the best. I Reply View Thread
E Anonymous Good Chad Stories 10/19/18(Fri)17:56:42 No.4879715 >be me >about 2 years ago meve o >junior in high school >no friends >reading a light novel before gym in the changing room >chad senior walks up to me 264 KB JPG >"hey man i respect the grind" >comments on how he saw me everyday reading >says he's never seen someone like me these days >try really hard not to let him see the cover >he sees it anyway >"aw dude i love anime" >proceed to talk about dragon ball and mainstream s--- for a minute >time to go to gym >give him an awkward fist bump It's the closest i've gotten to a chad. I don't know where he is but I wish him the best. I Reply View Thread

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Anon has ashy skin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/15(Sat)09:00:34 No.601034522 >Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist 74 KB JPG >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it
Anonymous 02/28/15(Sat)09:00:34 No.601034522 >Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist 74 KB JPG >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it

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Very big F | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sad things you do 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Be a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my 22 KB PNG SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken
: Anonymous Sad things you do 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Be a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my 22 KB PNG SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

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bringing this one back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds
Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds

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Anon has to do a presentation | /r/Greentext


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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)18:57:25 No.873006722 >browsing /b/ while eating popcorn >reload page >p--- ad loads >mom walks by >looks at computer screen >mfw my mom thinks i'm watching p--- and eating popcorn like i'm at the f------ cinema 267 KB PNG why does weird awkward s--- always happen to me?
: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)18:57:25 No.873006722 >browsing /b/ while eating popcorn >reload page >p--- ad loads >mom walks by >looks at computer screen >mfw my mom thinks i'm watching p--- and eating popcorn like i'm at the f------ cinema 267 KB PNG why does weird awkward s--- always happen to me?

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mashallah good work brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)22:09:03 No.778606612 let me tell yall a story when i punched a girl WHOMST'D'VE >be me THOTTIN??? >be like 12 at the time >muslim 38 KB JPG >be minding my business in the cafeteria >some guy threw ham and its getting passed down >the girl next to me, knowing that im muslim, still throws the pork at me >f------ punch that thot in front of everyone thot exterminated
: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)22:09:03 No.778606612 let me tell yall a story when i punched a girl WHOMST'D'VE >be me THOTTIN??? >be like 12 at the time >muslim 38 KB JPG >be minding my business in the cafeteria >some guy threw ham and its getting passed down >the girl next to me, knowing that im muslim, still throws the pork at me >f------ punch that thot in front of everyone thot exterminated

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Anons are a threat to Hollywood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)15:37:36 No.67287565 >enjoy movies >actively pirate every single movie | watch and only buy bootleg merch to not support the creators 54 KB JPG Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)15:39:15 No.67287594 >>67287565 (OP) Based, i never pay for f------ content. Pirate all them bitches. 163 KB JPG
Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)15:37:36 No.67287565 >enjoy movies >actively pirate every single movie | watch and only buy bootleg merch to not support the creators 54 KB JPG Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)15:39:15 No.67287594 >>67287565 (OP) Based, i never pay for f------ content. Pirate all them bitches. 163 KB JPG

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Anon schizo posts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)23:09:28 No.866076521 >break up with gf cause she is shoot crazy >says I'll regret if I dont take her back >a week later she shows up in court with bruises >claims I assaulted her >have alibi and evidence it couldn't be me so they can't charge me with s--- >she eventually admits she lied >instead of getting arrested she is forced into some meme therapy that lasts a few weeks >bitch tried to ruin my life and can walk away >few weeks later show up at her place and beat her up >have an alibi I wasn't in town >court immediately assumes she is bullshitting again and she was forced into another six weeks of therapy while I I walked away justice is served, bitch
Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)23:09:28 No.866076521 >break up with gf cause she is shoot crazy >says I'll regret if I dont take her back >a week later she shows up in court with bruises >claims I assaulted her >have alibi and evidence it couldn't be me so they can't charge me with s--- >she eventually admits she lied >instead of getting arrested she is forced into some meme therapy that lasts a few weeks >bitch tried to ruin my life and can walk away >few weeks later show up at her place and beat her up >have an alibi I wasn't in town >court immediately assumes she is bullshitting again and she was forced into another six weeks of therapy while I I walked away justice is served, bitch

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Bootstrap camp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)14:10:46 No.67494243 >be me at age 20, alcoholic, abandoned by parents years ago >end up broke and homeless >immediately go to construction site and ask for work >sleep there and befriend security guard that night >he shares a bit of his meal with 21 KB JPG me >tired and hungry i work my ass off the next morning >i get paid by the day, cash, sleep on site >save money and buy soap, water bottles, a nice shirt and english-spanish dictionary >work every day and study english in my spare time >work despite rain, hunger, feeling sick and a running nose >i'm afraid of height and i still climb stairs carrying buckets full of tools and whatnot everyday >save money, quality of life improves while still living on site >finish building, repeat process at another site >coworker friends help me in any way they can and encourage me to keep on studying >visit call center and barely pass english and computer skills exam >print the required paper work at local cyber-cafe after showing in a public fountain with soap i just bought >get job at bilingual call center, work my ass off and appreciate every opportunity i'm given >i can't sleep in the office, but i spend as much time as i can there, reading books in my crappy phone and whatnot >english improves, job gets easier and easier, i save money in a bank account now >rent apartment, no longer need to sleep outdoors >purchase bicycle >now i can finally invite a lady to my apartment to watch a movie on my phone or have sex and take her back home when we're done >been sober and employed for years now explain to me again why you can't get back on your feet, get fit, get a job and a relationship? : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)14:13:50 No.67494274 Your brain works fine. Mine is f-----
: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)14:10:46 No.67494243 >be me at age 20, alcoholic, abandoned by parents years ago >end up broke and homeless >immediately go to construction site and ask for work >sleep there and befriend security guard that night >he shares a bit of his meal with 21 KB JPG me >tired and hungry i work my ass off the next morning >i get paid by the day, cash, sleep on site >save money and buy soap, water bottles, a nice shirt and english-spanish dictionary >work every day and study english in my spare time >work despite rain, hunger, feeling sick and a running nose >i'm afraid of height and i still climb stairs carrying buckets full of tools and whatnot everyday >save money, quality of life improves while still living on site >finish building, repeat process at another site >coworker friends help me in any way they can and encourage me to keep on studying >visit call center and barely pass english and computer skills exam >print the required paper work at local cyber-cafe after showing in a public fountain with soap i just bought >get job at bilingual call center, work my ass off and appreciate every opportunity i'm given >i can't sleep in the office, but i spend as much time as i can there, reading books in my crappy phone and whatnot >english improves, job gets easier and easier, i save money in a bank account now >rent apartment, no longer need to sleep outdoors >purchase bicycle >now i can finally invite a lady to my apartment to watch a movie on my phone or have sex and take her back home when we're done >been sober and employed for years now explain to me again why you can't get back on your feet, get fit, get a job and a relationship? : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)14:13:50 No.67494274 Your brain works fine. Mine is f-----

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