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Anon solves a mystery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/26/21(Sun)13:09:39 No.869356331 >>869352356 (OP)_# >living with gf >decide to buy a house >things between us are strained, no sex >maybe a house isn't in our future >she gets feeds of houses on her phone >sometimes she goes looking >she shows me the houses >l notice something >same house has different listing numbers >and listing comes from same broker, an older, gray haired woman >something seems wrong but can't put my finger on it >it's the listing numbers >jot down the listing numbers and give them to a nerd friend who is into codes and cyphers >he immediately says they are times and dates >whaaaat? >looking through wife's phone and see house listed again with new listing number >figure out time and date >go to work but at the right time head home and see my gf leave >follow her to the house that was listed >meets the broker. not an older gray haired lady but some chad >they go in and spend an hour in the vacant house >week later l'm living in my own apartment
: Anonymous 12/26/21(Sun)13:09:39 No.869356331 >>869352356 (OP)_# >living with gf >decide to buy a house >things between us are strained, no sex >maybe a house isn't in our future >she gets feeds of houses on her phone >sometimes she goes looking >she shows me the houses >l notice something >same house has different listing numbers >and listing comes from same broker, an older, gray haired woman >something seems wrong but can't put my finger on it >it's the listing numbers >jot down the listing numbers and give them to a nerd friend who is into codes and cyphers >he immediately says they are times and dates >whaaaat? >looking through wife's phone and see house listed again with new listing number >figure out time and date >go to work but at the right time head home and see my gf leave >follow her to the house that was listed >meets the broker. not an older gray haired lady but some chad >they go in and spend an hour in the vacant house >week later l'm living in my own apartment

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How do we save him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)14:54:25 No.580088606 Mads Mikkelsen / Net worth $8.23 a49a7295cacf0ecab7da658e887efd19ee8ef9d2c2c763fe2727d15cd2c607 49 KB JPG bros,how do we save him
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)14:54:25 No.580088606 Mads Mikkelsen / Net worth $8.23 a49a7295cacf0ecab7da658e887efd19ee8ef9d2c2c763fe2727d15cd2c607 49 KB JPG bros,how do we save him

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Anon's life is ruined | /r/Greentext

File s-1.png (8 KB, 272x185) Anonymous 12/26/21(Sun)13:10:30 No.25548617 [Reply] ► >25549934 How can I cope with the fact that Covid is ruining my life? How are other anons coping? > My plans are constantly thwarted by some stupid disease with 99% survival rate. I feel like so much of my'early 20's is being stolen from me by stupid f------ boomers and this dumbass cold. I have had to cancel so many trips, gatherings with friends and events because of lockdowns or someone having to self isolate. >I have lost touch with so many friends due to this autistic flu or due to the fact they are mad vaxxers and only associate with other vaxxers. > My drinking and drug use has spiralled as a cope because i am now a depressed f--. > All i hear and see is b------- about covid and getting the vaccine (that doesnt work) > all the vaxxed people ik have had horrible reactions or immedietly caught covid after the vax. I just want to be happy and live my life for f---- sake man.
File s-1.png (8 KB, 272x185) Anonymous 12/26/21(Sun)13:10:30 No.25548617 [Reply] ► >25549934 How can I cope with the fact that Covid is ruining my life? How are other anons coping? > My plans are constantly thwarted by some stupid disease with 99% survival rate. I feel like so much of my'early 20's is being stolen from me by stupid f------ boomers and this dumbass cold. I have had to cancel so many trips, gatherings with friends and events because of lockdowns or someone having to self isolate. >I have lost touch with so many friends due to this autistic flu or due to the fact they are mad vaxxers and only associate with other vaxxers. > My drinking and drug use has spiralled as a cope because i am now a depressed f--. > All i hear and see is b------- about covid and getting the vaccine (that doesnt work) > all the vaxxed people ik have had horrible reactions or immedietly caught covid after the vax. I just want to be happy and live my life for f---- sake man.

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Anon makes a good point. | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/26/21(Sun)19:09:48 No.869376370 5120.jpg 146 KB JPG >white bread is living proof whites aren't a superior race. >l mean have you f------ tried Naan bread? French bread? Ciabatta bread? >en the blacks have cornbread, f------ cornbread. And what do we have? Sliced f------ white bread. The most boring bland disgusting s---. Wholegrain? Get the f--- out of here.
onymous 12/26/21(Sun)19:09:48 No.869376370 5120.jpg 146 KB JPG >white bread is living proof whites aren't a superior race. >l mean have you f------ tried Naan bread? French bread? Ciabatta bread? >en the blacks have cornbread, f------ cornbread. And what do we have? Sliced f------ white bread. The most boring bland disgusting s---. Wholegrain? Get the f--- out of here.

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Anon is a woman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 797920032 Vor 1 Min. >Be me >Weak pathetic excuse for a man >Wanted to be a professional athlete all my life >Turned down everywhere I try >Start to come to terms with the fact that l'll never achieve my dream >2019 rolls around 55,2 kB JPG >Diversity PC nightmare >"But wait, I can use this to my advantage!" >sexchange.jpg >Am now a "woman" >Join female sports teams and get them arrested for hate speech if they say no >Beat the s--- out of everyone >Win all championships >Dumbass millenials call me brave and heroic Thanks system, I finally achieved my dream!
Anonymous | 797920032 Vor 1 Min. >Be me >Weak pathetic excuse for a man >Wanted to be a professional athlete all my life >Turned down everywhere I try >Start to come to terms with the fact that l'll never achieve my dream >2019 rolls around 55,2 kB JPG >Diversity PC nightmare >"But wait, I can use this to my advantage!" >sexchange.jpg >Am now a "woman" >Join female sports teams and get them arrested for hate speech if they say no >Beat the s--- out of everyone >Win all championships >Dumbass millenials call me brave and heroic Thanks system, I finally achieved my dream!

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Anons get a little existential | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/26/21(Sun)12:37:36 No.869354621 >live at the height of technology and medicine >life has never been better for the average person >still depressed What causes this? 223 KB JPG 7 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 12/26/21(Sun)13:48:12 No.869358083 >>869354621 (OP) # Lack of purpose. Man wasn't mean to sit inside an office building all day long staring at artificial light, nor was he meant to work in a factory or warehouse every day until he's dead. Men have no purpose any longer. Even as late as the 1990s, men had a purpose for doing things. drive, ambition, willfu Welcome to the 21st century, where the zoomer generation is marching mankind to a quick and pointless death. ess, it's all gone.
onymous 12/26/21(Sun)12:37:36 No.869354621 >live at the height of technology and medicine >life has never been better for the average person >still depressed What causes this? 223 KB JPG 7 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 12/26/21(Sun)13:48:12 No.869358083 >>869354621 (OP) # Lack of purpose. Man wasn't mean to sit inside an office building all day long staring at artificial light, nor was he meant to work in a factory or warehouse every day until he's dead. Men have no purpose any longer. Even as late as the 1990s, men had a purpose for doing things. drive, ambition, willfu Welcome to the 21st century, where the zoomer generation is marching mankind to a quick and pointless death. ess, it's all gone.

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East of Eden | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/26/21(Sun)20:34:57 No.869371138 > Be me, alone on Christmas > Hungry, go out for food > Go to local Chinese restaurant because they are the only ones open MASN > Walk in and sit down, restaurant is 52 KB JPG entirely empty but I hear noise in the back > Owner walks up and greets me in broken English > "Hello, see you on holiday, thank you for joining us" > Owner's entire extended family comes out from kitchen area > Start moving tables around and bringing out dishes of food > They set up an entire feast > Genuinely enjoy the food and company even though they all speak in Chinese and I can't understand them > After eating, I help the family put the restaurant back to normal >I ask the owner how much I owe him for the meal > "You owe us nothing, thank you for joining us, Merry Christmas" > Leave and go home with a smile on my face, still not quite sure what happened Thank you, random Chinese restaurant, you guys made me have an actual nice Christmas for the first time in many years!
onymous 12/26/21(Sun)20:34:57 No.869371138 > Be me, alone on Christmas > Hungry, go out for food > Go to local Chinese restaurant because they are the only ones open MASN > Walk in and sit down, restaurant is 52 KB JPG entirely empty but I hear noise in the back > Owner walks up and greets me in broken English > "Hello, see you on holiday, thank you for joining us" > Owner's entire extended family comes out from kitchen area > Start moving tables around and bringing out dishes of food > They set up an entire feast > Genuinely enjoy the food and company even though they all speak in Chinese and I can't understand them > After eating, I help the family put the restaurant back to normal >I ask the owner how much I owe him for the meal > "You owe us nothing, thank you for joining us, Merry Christmas" > Leave and go home with a smile on my face, still not quite sure what happened Thank you, random Chinese restaurant, you guys made me have an actual nice Christmas for the first time in many years!

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Anon was a bit too harsh | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/27/21(Mon)00:16:14 No.66725933 >high school friend's twitter profile gets recommended to me >she doesn't realize she has twitter contacts enabled >browse her timeline >... 994 KB PNG >she became some feminist yas kween single mom w---- >find tweets that are obviously about me >this_bitch.jpeg >find tweet about how she hates her parents >get idea >anonymously email her mother with a link to her twitter >haha lol get f----- >some months pass and check her twitter >last tweet was three weeks ago about how she got kicked out of her apartment because her parents basically disowned her and refuse to send her any more money i felt kinda bad but it's pretty funny lol
onymous 12/27/21(Mon)00:16:14 No.66725933 >high school friend's twitter profile gets recommended to me >she doesn't realize she has twitter contacts enabled >browse her timeline >... 994 KB PNG >she became some feminist yas kween single mom w---- >find tweets that are obviously about me >this_bitch.jpeg >find tweet about how she hates her parents >get idea >anonymously email her mother with a link to her twitter >haha lol get f----- >some months pass and check her twitter >last tweet was three weeks ago about how she got kicked out of her apartment because her parents basically disowned her and refuse to send her any more money i felt kinda bad but it's pretty funny lol

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Anon needs to learn charity | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/25/21(Sat)17:51:22 No.66707617 I saw my own tombstone in my dream with my name engraved on it. 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/25/21(Sat)20:38:31 No.66708593 >>66707617 (OP) # Did the dream, by any chance, also contain visits by three ghosts? 17 KB JPG
onymous 12/25/21(Sat)17:51:22 No.66707617 I saw my own tombstone in my dream with my name engraved on it. 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/25/21(Sat)20:38:31 No.66708593 >>66707617 (OP) # Did the dream, by any chance, also contain visits by three ghosts? 17 KB JPG

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Anon moves his arm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG

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Anon has a bad social interaction | /r/Greentext

>be me 2 years ago >16 m >Work at grocery store, always pretty social with customers >have few liners that arent exactly funny, but they sometimes get a laugh 110 KB JPG >one of them is for when people buy baby diapers, I always say "wow, at your age your still using diapers >kinda cringe but adults are so comedy starved its good for them >boomer comes to my lane, very nice and joking with me a lot >l see diapers in cart and say line >he gets weird >l grab them and scan them and look at them >mfw they say adult diapers
>be me 2 years ago >16 m >Work at grocery store, always pretty social with customers >have few liners that arent exactly funny, but they sometimes get a laugh 110 KB JPG >one of them is for when people buy baby diapers, I always say "wow, at your age your still using diapers >kinda cringe but adults are so comedy starved its good for them >boomer comes to my lane, very nice and joking with me a lot >l see diapers in cart and say line >he gets weird >l grab them and scan them and look at them >mfw they say adult diapers

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Anon is special | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49678806 43 mins ago . >visit grandparents >walk by the kindergarten i attended 15 years ago >it says "for children with development delays" 32.6 kB PNG
Anonymous | 49678806 43 mins ago . >visit grandparents >walk by the kindergarten i attended 15 years ago >it says "for children with development delays" 32.6 kB PNG

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Anon is not an anime girl | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/26/21(Sun)20:33:33 No.66723604 I want to be in a gay relationship and have gay sex 302 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/26/21(Sun)20:37:39 No.66723639 >>66723604 (OP) # You are not an anime girl.
onymous 12/26/21(Sun)20:33:33 No.66723604 I want to be in a gay relationship and have gay sex 302 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/26/21(Sun)20:37:39 No.66723639 >>66723604 (OP) # You are not an anime girl.

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Anon tries to OD | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)21:08:47 No.816880341 F----- up cocktail time, lads. I've filled this bottle with. >rum >espresso >alcohol based vanilla 1.91 MB JPG >lots of nutmeg >a dash of nyquil >a whole crushed up 30mg oxycodone >cannabis cream (the fat holds the THC) I call it the moloko minus. Either l'll die or go on a keep you updated. rampage. Lets try it out. I'll 19 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)21:08:47 No.816880341 F----- up cocktail time, lads. I've filled this bottle with. >rum >espresso >alcohol based vanilla 1.91 MB JPG >lots of nutmeg >a dash of nyquil >a whole crushed up 30mg oxycodone >cannabis cream (the fat holds the THC) I call it the moloko minus. Either l'll die or go on a keep you updated. rampage. Lets try it out. I'll 19 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon wants to become bird | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/26/21(Sun)15:22:19 No.869333830 Autistic childhood stories thread? I'll start >be 8 year old autist >understimulated and bored with life >decide to shake things up >make a cassette recording to 19 KB JPG hypnotize myself during my sleep >say "you're a bird" over and over again, so that eventually I'll believe I'm a bird >when night comes be too afraid to play it because maybe l'll jump out the window trying to fly and die >mfw 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
onymous 12/26/21(Sun)15:22:19 No.869333830 Autistic childhood stories thread? I'll start >be 8 year old autist >understimulated and bored with life >decide to shake things up >make a cassette recording to 19 KB JPG hypnotize myself during my sleep >say "you're a bird" over and over again, so that eventually I'll believe I'm a bird >when night comes be too afraid to play it because maybe l'll jump out the window trying to fly and die >mfw 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anon fails | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/16(Sat)13:27:15 No.690207203 Failed wincest >Be today >family gathering >see my hot ass sister come in through the door >holy f--- she's so hot >she's wearing short shorts thin 15 KB JPG shirt nice bra >see her smile at me wonder if it's a sign go up to her ask her how's college life and such. >we make small talk for a half hour or so >family decides to play a little touch football >she runs for it all I see is her ass bouncing and bouncing >run after her to go play football > start playing she's on the opposite team so I decided to tackle her >as soon as l'm on top of her d--- gets hard and I couldn't help but give her a kiss >ohfuckme.jpg >she slaps me stands up >l immediately stand up Rock f------ hard tent pitching out of basketball shorts >all of family notices grandma tells me it would be best if I could leave >I think I'm gunna get shunned from my family now
: Anonymous 06/18/16(Sat)13:27:15 No.690207203 Failed wincest >Be today >family gathering >see my hot ass sister come in through the door >holy f--- she's so hot >she's wearing short shorts thin 15 KB JPG shirt nice bra >see her smile at me wonder if it's a sign go up to her ask her how's college life and such. >we make small talk for a half hour or so >family decides to play a little touch football >she runs for it all I see is her ass bouncing and bouncing >run after her to go play football > start playing she's on the opposite team so I decided to tackle her >as soon as l'm on top of her d--- gets hard and I couldn't help but give her a kiss >ohfuckme.jpg >she slaps me stands up >l immediately stand up Rock f------ hard tent pitching out of basketball shorts >all of family notices grandma tells me it would be best if I could leave >I think I'm gunna get shunned from my family now

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Anon makes an analogy. | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/27/21(Mon)00:46:14 No.66722426 >go to buy a milk bottle from the grocery store >pay for it >cashier takes off the cap, rips off the seal, takes several big gulps from my milk, spits in the bottle, and puts the cap back on >"what the f---? Why did you do 11 KB JPG that?" >"the milk bottle is with you now. You're the one who will get to drink it. Why do you care what I did?" >"but you ripped the seal off and drank from it!" >"who cares, the seal is a social construct. You're not an incel, are you?"
onymous 12/27/21(Mon)00:46:14 No.66722426 >go to buy a milk bottle from the grocery store >pay for it >cashier takes off the cap, rips off the seal, takes several big gulps from my milk, spits in the bottle, and puts the cap back on >"what the f---? Why did you do 11 KB JPG that?" >"the milk bottle is with you now. You're the one who will get to drink it. Why do you care what I did?" >"but you ripped the seal off and drank from it!" >"who cares, the seal is a social construct. You're not an incel, are you?"

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anon eats a popsicle | /r/Greentext

>eating popsicle with my friend >it looks phallic >we lol a bit >lick it seductively while looking at him >he is laughing his ass off >put it in my mouth and push it as deep as 366 KB PNG i can >gag and then pull it out >i look like one of those hentai girls, spit trailing and everything >he stops laughing and then looks shocked >look down >rock hard
>eating popsicle with my friend >it looks phallic >we lol a bit >lick it seductively while looking at him >he is laughing his ass off >put it in my mouth and push it as deep as 366 KB PNG i can >gag and then pull it out >i look like one of those hentai girls, spit trailing and everything >he stops laughing and then looks shocked >look down >rock hard

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Anon causes traffic | /r/Greentext

1d (12/23 12:15) · 24968209 47 Re · 9 Img · JPG 21KB · (612 x 408) 12 Replies >Ah yes, now I can park wherever I want! Giddy · 1d (12/23 12:21) 24968239 JPG · 22KB (800 x 450) 1 Reply >>24968209 (OP) •.. •..
1d (12/23 12:15) · 24968209 47 Re · 9 Img · JPG 21KB · (612 x 408) 12 Replies >Ah yes, now I can park wherever I want! Giddy · 1d (12/23 12:21) 24968239 JPG · 22KB (800 x 450) 1 Reply >>24968209 (OP) •.. •..

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Anon has questions about black people | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/26/21(Sun)05:01:41 No.869331619 >Keep seeing black women calling themselves queens >Black men call themselves kings >They all talk about positivity and how they can make themselves successful by thinking about and believing >They talk about owning all kinds of THE BLACK QUEEN 143 KB JPG businesses on the side >If they have jobs it's something like sales guy at the FedEx store or grocery store bagger. >That is success? >Also why do fat white girls like them so much? >Can someone explain this to me?
onymous 12/26/21(Sun)05:01:41 No.869331619 >Keep seeing black women calling themselves queens >Black men call themselves kings >They all talk about positivity and how they can make themselves successful by thinking about and believing >They talk about owning all kinds of THE BLACK QUEEN 143 KB JPG businesses on the side >If they have jobs it's something like sales guy at the FedEx store or grocery store bagger. >That is success? >Also why do fat white girls like them so much? >Can someone explain this to me?

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