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Anon needs hes $20 | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/06/19(Mon)12:14:56 No.799062537 >>799062931 >be me >12 year old with many jewish friends >get invited to my friend's bar mitsvah >dj decides to have a dance competition >dj pulls $20 out of his pocket and says winner gets it >ohshit.png >cotton eye joe hard up in that bitch >dj says i won the competition >i ask him for the $20 >he pretends to not know what im talking about >i grab one of his business cards >his name, email, and phone number are mine now >call him every day for several months >my friend tells me he is getting hired again for his little brother's bar mitsvah >a year passes and dj stops picking up the phone >i ask my friend if he knows why >he committed suicide Remember kids, honor your debts
O Anonymous 05/06/19(Mon)12:14:56 No.799062537 >>799062931 >be me >12 year old with many jewish friends >get invited to my friend's bar mitsvah >dj decides to have a dance competition >dj pulls $20 out of his pocket and says winner gets it >ohshit.png >cotton eye joe hard up in that bitch >dj says i won the competition >i ask him for the $20 >he pretends to not know what im talking about >i grab one of his business cards >his name, email, and phone number are mine now >call him every day for several months >my friend tells me he is getting hired again for his little brother's bar mitsvah >a year passes and dj stops picking up the phone >i ask my friend if he knows why >he committed suicide Remember kids, honor your debts

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I think Anon likes Godzilla more | /r/Greentext

I'm sorry, but the amount of retards that think King Kong is going to win against Godzilla is hilarious. Like seriously, let's match them up: 190 KB PNG King Kong: >super strong >monkey >probably eats his own s--- >died to airplanes/bullets Godzilla >atomic breath >sprial atomic ray >nuclear pulse >energy absorption >super durability >regenative healing factor >immense super strength >super stamina >can use its tail for attack >flight >can live either in the water or land >intelligence that can surpass humans >people actully had to more effort in killing him than just using guns Seriously, I am all ears, how can king kong win this?
I'm sorry, but the amount of retards that think King Kong is going to win against Godzilla is hilarious. Like seriously, let's match them up: 190 KB PNG King Kong: >super strong >monkey >probably eats his own s--- >died to airplanes/bullets Godzilla >atomic breath >sprial atomic ray >nuclear pulse >energy absorption >super durability >regenative healing factor >immense super strength >super stamina >can use its tail for attack >flight >can live either in the water or land >intelligence that can surpass humans >people actully had to more effort in killing him than just using guns Seriously, I am all ears, how can king kong win this?

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Anon can stand | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p----- jpg >the intercom tuns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing l've done all day"
File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p----- jpg >the intercom tuns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing l've done all day"

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Anon's quest for love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)19:18:00 No.753951070 Did I just cuck myself? >went to store 1 hour before closing >gather my s--- and head to the checkout 278 KB JPG >cashier solid 7/10 >start casual conversation about assholes who come in 5 mintues before closing, and about our non-existent weekend plans >payed and about head out >she says "you know, my shift is almost done" >me "alright! have a good weekend, bye!" Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)19:18:00 No.753951070 Did I just cuck myself? >went to store 1 hour before closing >gather my s--- and head to the checkout 278 KB JPG >cashier solid 7/10 >start casual conversation about assholes who come in 5 mintues before closing, and about our non-existent weekend plans >payed and about head out >she says "you know, my shift is almost done" >me "alright! have a good weekend, bye!" Pic unrelated

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Answer Anons question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)00:15:40 No.12430181 >Modern man exists for 200.000 years >99% of that is humans being cavemen >Then suddenly we go from being cavemen to exploring the solar system in the last 1% of time How 22 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)00:15:40 No.12430181 >Modern man exists for 200.000 years >99% of that is humans being cavemen >Then suddenly we go from being cavemen to exploring the solar system in the last 1% of time How 22 KB JPG

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Anon respects women, i don’t | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)15:17:19 No.868106729 I've learned to respect women 35 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)15:17:44 No.868106758 >>868106729 (OP) # unlearn this toxic behavior
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)15:17:19 No.868106729 I've learned to respect women 35 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)15:17:44 No.868106758 >>868106729 (OP) # unlearn this toxic behavior

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Anon learns of airplanes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:31:37 No.64 >>64643822 (OP) # >get in >door closes >???????????????? >in a new country how? 232 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:31:37 No.64 >>64643822 (OP) # >get in >door closes >???????????????? >in a new country how? 232 KB JPG

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon studied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)12:23:07 No.868222467 >be me >be retarded student >studied for like 4 hrs so decided to do faggotry on omegle.. >girl asks me to j------- and shows boobs. >whynot.jpeg >girl sees my d--- >says its really big and she has never seen anything 6 KB PNG more than 6" feels good /b/ros 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)12:23:07 No.868222467 >be me >be retarded student >studied for like 4 hrs so decided to do faggotry on omegle.. >girl asks me to j------- and shows boobs. >whynot.jpeg >girl sees my d--- >says its really big and she has never seen anything 6 KB PNG more than 6" feels good /b/ros 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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George gets dating advice | /r/Greentext

6m (12/7 10:40) · 160281322 2 Re · 1 Img · JPG · 17KB · (656 × 480) 2 Replies >I called her a slut, Jerry. >You called her a slut? >I CALLED HER A SLUT! >Why did you call her a slut? >I DON'T KNOW ELAINE TOLD ME GIRLS LIKE THAT NOW A DAYS! 4m (12/7 10:42)·160281368 >>160281322 (OP) They do but your penis should be inside them when you do it 2m (12/7 10:44) · 160281452 PNG · 331KB · (740 × 370) >>160281322 (OP) [Kramer enters] >you cant call her a slut, george >but you called that guy a n----- >that was different
6m (12/7 10:40) · 160281322 2 Re · 1 Img · JPG · 17KB · (656 × 480) 2 Replies >I called her a slut, Jerry. >You called her a slut? >I CALLED HER A SLUT! >Why did you call her a slut? >I DON'T KNOW ELAINE TOLD ME GIRLS LIKE THAT NOW A DAYS! 4m (12/7 10:42)·160281368 >>160281322 (OP) They do but your penis should be inside them when you do it 2m (12/7 10:44) · 160281452 PNG · 331KB · (740 × 370) >>160281322 (OP) [Kramer enters] >you cant call her a slut, george >but you called that guy a n----- >that was different

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Anon gets fries | /r/Greentext

"x934) O Anonymous 10/20/19(Sun)19: >go to mcdonalds >order two large fries >they give me around 75 tiny ones
"x934) O Anonymous 10/20/19(Sun)19: >go to mcdonalds >order two large fries >they give me around 75 tiny ones

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OP does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)12:02:32 No.28529460 Google "how do they put pepsi in the can" >14,000,000 results Google "how do they put coke in the can" >0 results 11 KB JPG what does this mean? : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)15:03:36 No.28530933 how do they put coke in the can Q Al O Shopping O Videos O Images 回 News : More About 169,000,000 results (0.62 seconds) What.png 9 KB PNG ???
I Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)12:02:32 No.28529460 Google "how do they put pepsi in the can" >14,000,000 results Google "how do they put coke in the can" >0 results 11 KB JPG what does this mean? : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)15:03:36 No.28530933 how do they put coke in the can Q Al O Shopping O Videos O Images 回 News : More About 169,000,000 results (0.62 seconds) What.png 9 KB PNG ???

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Anon really loves KDE | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous - 12/08/21(Wed)15:39:59 No.84665884 Why yes, I do pick my Desktop Environment based on how fuckable the mascot is. 145 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)16:16:39 No.84666186 >>84665884 (OP) # anon please pull your pants back up 371 KB PNG
: Anonymous - 12/08/21(Wed)15:39:59 No.84665884 Why yes, I do pick my Desktop Environment based on how fuckable the mascot is. 145 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)16:16:39 No.84666186 >>84665884 (OP) # anon please pull your pants back up 371 KB PNG

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Anon meets double agent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)15:27:09 No.867959355 >>867959423 > be me > hate women > invited to party by roommate > pick up one of her friends in the car > she's funny > she's really funny, bounces of each joke, adds a new quirk to each conversion topic > actually taken aback, start to rethink maybe women can actually be as interesting as men > night progresses, overhear them later talking to someone about their hormone therapy > mfw Trans Now I hate women even more, imagine needing to be subsidized by double agents Fie >> Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)15:29:08 No.867959423 >>867959355 (OP) >she's funny thats where you should have noticed it was a t-----, no women is funny.
Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)15:27:09 No.867959355 >>867959423 > be me > hate women > invited to party by roommate > pick up one of her friends in the car > she's funny > she's really funny, bounces of each joke, adds a new quirk to each conversion topic > actually taken aback, start to rethink maybe women can actually be as interesting as men > night progresses, overhear them later talking to someone about their hormone therapy > mfw Trans Now I hate women even more, imagine needing to be subsidized by double agents Fie >> Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)15:29:08 No.867959423 >>867959355 (OP) >she's funny thats where you should have noticed it was a t-----, no women is funny.

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Anon questions his sexuality | /r/Greentext

File: 85EF396B-70B1-481C-8DAF-A(...)jpg (34 KB, 300x227) O Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)10:23:37 No.868235264 [Reply] ► >be me, in middle school >friend tells me about gays >"ew that's disgusting" >"oh f--- what if l end up being gay >shitshitshitshit >ask friend how to tell if someone is gay >'it's easy anon, gays can't control themselves from dancing when they hear music" >go home and put on music to gaytest myself >no uncontrollable dancing >"but what if I just don't have the right gay music" >really don't want to be gay >spend all of middle school paranoid that I might hear a song some day that'll make me dance uncontrollably Am 23 now and still not gay. Terrible at dancing though.
File: 85EF396B-70B1-481C-8DAF-A(...)jpg (34 KB, 300x227) O Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)10:23:37 No.868235264 [Reply] ► >be me, in middle school >friend tells me about gays >"ew that's disgusting" >"oh f--- what if l end up being gay >shitshitshitshit >ask friend how to tell if someone is gay >'it's easy anon, gays can't control themselves from dancing when they hear music" >go home and put on music to gaytest myself >no uncontrollable dancing >"but what if I just don't have the right gay music" >really don't want to be gay >spend all of middle school paranoid that I might hear a song some day that'll make me dance uncontrollably Am 23 now and still not gay. Terrible at dancing though.

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Anon admits he was wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a 231 KB PNG source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site
: Anonymous 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a 231 KB PNG source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site

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Luke did i ever tell you about some fine ass pussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100810602 4 hr. ago >Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father's exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of j------- from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we'd even have the entire 501st run a train 1.9 kB JPG over her, part of official Jedi “training" of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you'd get a glimpse of her orange p---- mid fight as she'd do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant p---- Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
Anonymous 100810602 4 hr. ago >Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father's exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of j------- from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we'd even have the entire 501st run a train 1.9 kB JPG over her, part of official Jedi “training" of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you'd get a glimpse of her orange p---- mid fight as she'd do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant p---- Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.

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Anon is a bigoted closet gay | /r/Greentext

>in high school >some chick tells me gays deserve equal rights >my first ever time learning about gays and Igb rights >that's weird but whatever idc >in college, start to learn about other 295 KB PNG genders >"trannies are natural and chopping off genitalia is cool" >w-- that's really really weird but whatever idc >get a job >have to state my gender and take Igbtq+ trainings >every show I watch has gays and trannies >characters I used to love are big gay and t----- >starting to get absurd seeing all the pandering to gays >one days, 8 year old daughter comes home and says her teacher said anyone can become any gender when they grow up >not happy with this b-------. I didn't sign up for this propagation of gender dysphoria promotion >can't do anything about it >see post on internet about trans children >comment dissent >"f--- you bigor anon you suck why are you a bigot when this doesn't even affect you, you seem obsessed like you're a closet gay"
>in high school >some chick tells me gays deserve equal rights >my first ever time learning about gays and Igb rights >that's weird but whatever idc >in college, start to learn about other 295 KB PNG genders >"trannies are natural and chopping off genitalia is cool" >w-- that's really really weird but whatever idc >get a job >have to state my gender and take Igbtq+ trainings >every show I watch has gays and trannies >characters I used to love are big gay and t----- >starting to get absurd seeing all the pandering to gays >one days, 8 year old daughter comes home and says her teacher said anyone can become any gender when they grow up >not happy with this b-------. I didn't sign up for this propagation of gender dysphoria promotion >can't do anything about it >see post on internet about trans children >comment dissent >"f--- you bigor anon you suck why are you a bigot when this doesn't even affect you, you seem obsessed like you're a closet gay"

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Anon high fives a chad. | /r/Greentext

>>be me >>On this board so you can guess what I look like >>Working at summer camp >>Accidentally touch female friend's t-- when she tripped and I 99 KB PNG tried to catch her >>Accidentally brushed her butt later when raising my hand >>Later she's talking with Chad and I come over >>"Anon touched my ass and t--, Anon, what do you have to say for yourself" >>Sperg out >>"Feels pretty good man" >>Stacy's mouth gaps >>Chad gives me a high five Later virgins?
>>be me >>On this board so you can guess what I look like >>Working at summer camp >>Accidentally touch female friend's t-- when she tripped and I 99 KB PNG tried to catch her >>Accidentally brushed her butt later when raising my hand >>Later she's talking with Chad and I come over >>"Anon touched my ass and t--, Anon, what do you have to say for yourself" >>Sperg out >>"Feels pretty good man" >>Stacy's mouth gaps >>Chad gives me a high five Later virgins?

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Rubbed the wrong way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:13:26 No.66474018 # q clown cat.gif 167 KB GIF >boyfriend is a photographer >l'm okay that this means that sometimes he will interacting with girls that want nudes or pictures taken of them in sexy outfits >find out he's rubbing oil on their bodies for "better" pictures
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:13:26 No.66474018 # q clown cat.gif 167 KB GIF >boyfriend is a photographer >l'm okay that this means that sometimes he will interacting with girls that want nudes or pictures taken of them in sexy outfits >find out he's rubbing oil on their bodies for "better" pictures

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