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Anon sells a few copies of cod | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.592760531 Vor 53 Minuten >Be me working at gamestop >parent asks for a game called "cod" >tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have >have ton of copies in the back >we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free >she buys three brand new copies of this game >she comes back after christmas >all three copies have been opened >no refund because you opened them >a kid out there received 3 copies of a f------ fishing game for christmas 2 replies
Anonymous No.592760531 Vor 53 Minuten >Be me working at gamestop >parent asks for a game called "cod" >tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have >have ton of copies in the back >we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free >she buys three brand new copies of this game >she comes back after christmas >all three copies have been opened >no refund because you opened them >a kid out there received 3 copies of a f------ fishing game for christmas 2 replies

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Anon buys a kitchen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:06 No.17095437 RESS 64F4EF9C-12CB-4778-9FD8-681FEC118919.png 682 KB PNG >buy a new home >check the kitchen >laminate countertops : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:27 No.17095440 ok : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:28 No.17095441 this is a weird meme >>17095445 #
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:06 No.17095437 RESS 64F4EF9C-12CB-4778-9FD8-681FEC118919.png 682 KB PNG >buy a new home >check the kitchen >laminate countertops : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:27 No.17095440 ok : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:28 No.17095441 this is a weird meme >>17095445 #

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Anon laughs at current events | /r/Greentext

No.766291653 43 minutes ago JPG 17.5 KİB 248x189 This Starbucks s--- is cracking me up. To recap: >Black people loitering. >"Buy something or leave." >dasracist.jpg >Cops get involved. >Chimpouts across the country. >4chan makes fake Starbucks coupons for black people. >Black people go in droves to Starbucks. >"Gibs me dats" >Coupons are fake >Double Chimpout MFW 6 replies
No.766291653 43 minutes ago JPG 17.5 KİB 248x189 This Starbucks s--- is cracking me up. To recap: >Black people loitering. >"Buy something or leave." >dasracist.jpg >Cops get involved. >Chimpouts across the country. >4chan makes fake Starbucks coupons for black people. >Black people go in droves to Starbucks. >"Gibs me dats" >Coupons are fake >Double Chimpout MFW 6 replies

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Anon didn't think | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)23:49:22 No.160142913 >l-I didn't think- >THAT'S RIGHT YOU DIDN'T THINK 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)23:49:22 No.160142913 >l-I didn't think- >THAT'S RIGHT YOU DIDN'T THINK 50 KB JPG

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anon solves his problem | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Have mega ant problem >They're resistant to black pepper 40 KB JPG >Bleach >Even liquid ant traps >One day I j------- in bathtub >Don't even clean it because I'm filth >Later I go back in bathroom and see ants have consumed almost all of my boy milk >Within the next couple days, almost all ants are gone >l've weaponized my man nectar
>Be me >Have mega ant problem >They're resistant to black pepper 40 KB JPG >Bleach >Even liquid ant traps >One day I j------- in bathtub >Don't even clean it because I'm filth >Later I go back in bathroom and see ants have consumed almost all of my boy milk >Within the next couple days, almost all ants are gone >l've weaponized my man nectar

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Anon is all of us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)21:07:06 No.868188782 >be me >have f----- name >request irl mom to call me anon >she agrees >calls me anon >l am now anon 254 KB JPG >l am all of you
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)21:07:06 No.868188782 >be me >have f----- name >request irl mom to call me anon >she agrees >calls me anon >l am now anon 254 KB JPG >l am all of you

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anon gives words of advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)11:29:23 No.66466374 >Virgin at 28 it's over, right? 4 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)11:30:36 No.66466383 Dumb frogposter. Kindly f--- off and kys please.
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)11:29:23 No.66466374 >Virgin at 28 it's over, right? 4 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)11:30:36 No.66466383 Dumb frogposter. Kindly f--- off and kys please.

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Anon moves to Bell-air | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 787981129 5 min. ago •.. I had a s----- f------ day, /b/! >Be me >Playing basket ball by myself at a court >hear "HEY F-----!" >Turn around and see three chads >"Wh-who? Me?" 38.2 kB JPG >"Yeah you! What are you doing on OUR court?!" >"It's a public court." >"Like Hell, GTFO!" >"No." >He goes up and push me >Feel angry >push him back >He punches me >Say "You wanna play? l'll play!" >Perceed to get into fight with them >They're kicking my ass >Whatever don't give up >All of a sudden hear a voice >"WHATS GOING ON!?" >Hearing this the 3 chads run off >It's my mom >"HOW COULD YOU?!" >"Mom, I'm sorry! They-" >My Mom is offically scared of me >She's decided on kicking me out to live with my Aunt and Uncle What do?
Anonymous | 787981129 5 min. ago •.. I had a s----- f------ day, /b/! >Be me >Playing basket ball by myself at a court >hear "HEY F-----!" >Turn around and see three chads >"Wh-who? Me?" 38.2 kB JPG >"Yeah you! What are you doing on OUR court?!" >"It's a public court." >"Like Hell, GTFO!" >"No." >He goes up and push me >Feel angry >push him back >He punches me >Say "You wanna play? l'll play!" >Perceed to get into fight with them >They're kicking my ass >Whatever don't give up >All of a sudden hear a voice >"WHATS GOING ON!?" >Hearing this the 3 chads run off >It's my mom >"HOW COULD YOU?!" >"Mom, I'm sorry! They-" >My Mom is offically scared of me >She's decided on kicking me out to live with my Aunt and Uncle What do?

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All the wrong moves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)14:34:07 No.66468435 >go on 3 tinder dates >first girl - not hot no moves made >second girl - hot but didnt make a move, tried to play it cool got ghosted >third girl - hot made a move, got her over to my place. Tried to escalate to a kiss. Got rejected 20 KB JPG What the f---, how does this dating s--- work. I want p---- god damnit. Ive been beating my meat since september : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)14:41:52 No.66468525 >>66468435 (OP) # I've been beating my meat for the last 9 years. Сope.
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)14:34:07 No.66468435 >go on 3 tinder dates >first girl - not hot no moves made >second girl - hot but didnt make a move, tried to play it cool got ghosted >third girl - hot made a move, got her over to my place. Tried to escalate to a kiss. Got rejected 20 KB JPG What the f---, how does this dating s--- work. I want p---- god damnit. Ive been beating my meat since september : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)14:41:52 No.66468525 >>66468435 (OP) # I've been beating my meat for the last 9 years. Сope.

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What's his secret? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:42:03 No.39596368 >is fat/looks fat >doesn't lift >only eats fish and berries >still faster and stronger than 100% of /fit/ 1.95 MB PNG What is his secret? Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:44:34 No.39596401 He's happy >>39598722 # >>39600157 # >>39601419 # >>39604092 # >>39604310 # >>39604367 # >>39604613 #
: Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:42:03 No.39596368 >is fat/looks fat >doesn't lift >only eats fish and berries >still faster and stronger than 100% of /fit/ 1.95 MB PNG What is his secret? Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:44:34 No.39596401 He's happy >>39598722 # >>39600157 # >>39601419 # >>39604092 # >>39604310 # >>39604367 # >>39604613 #

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Anon investigates IKEA | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ISNLYTYS ) Ikea 09/12/21 (Sun)06:09:15 No.40716132 >Be Ikea >Charge $800 for s----- particle wood furniture that comes in 91 IKEA Home furnishings pieces >Buyer spends 2 hours putting it together themselves >Furniture will last 3 years tops if it doesn't collapse under its own 146 KB JPG weight. >Somehow convince the public that this is a better deal than buying a finished product made of real wood that will last them 2 lifetimes for the same price. >Be the reason this god awful furniture sales model seeps into mainstream American companies so everyone f------ does it now. F--- Ikea. How did they do it??
: Anonymous (ID: ISNLYTYS ) Ikea 09/12/21 (Sun)06:09:15 No.40716132 >Be Ikea >Charge $800 for s----- particle wood furniture that comes in 91 IKEA Home furnishings pieces >Buyer spends 2 hours putting it together themselves >Furniture will last 3 years tops if it doesn't collapse under its own 146 KB JPG weight. >Somehow convince the public that this is a better deal than buying a finished product made of real wood that will last them 2 lifetimes for the same price. >Be the reason this god awful furniture sales model seeps into mainstream American companies so everyone f------ does it now. F--- Ikea. How did they do it??

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Anon gives a sauce | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)13:36:46 No.852124792 >guy asks for sauce >l tell him the sauce >he replies "thanks gonna c-- buckets now" >tfw I helped a man c-- buckets Am I gay now? W-- was I thinking 161 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)13:49:23 No.852125580 >>852124792(OP) # Yes, you are gay now. Suck the c--- f-----.
:Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)13:36:46 No.852124792 >guy asks for sauce >l tell him the sauce >he replies "thanks gonna c-- buckets now" >tfw I helped a man c-- buckets Am I gay now? W-- was I thinking 161 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)13:49:23 No.852125580 >>852124792(OP) # Yes, you are gay now. Suck the c--- f-----.

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Anon encounters race dynamics in America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)10:08:36 No.868156612 >be me, new in America from a s------- country >learn in school about treating everyone equal and respecting everyone >very wholesome, never learned this before, I like it 75 KB JPG >there's a controversy in media and everyone's talking about it >white mom is big sad that popular music her kids are listening to promotes drugs, crime, foul language, mysogny >I completely agree with her >start listening to commentary on the whole scenario >everyone is angry at her for disrespecting black culture >wut??? Is that black culture??? >should we respect that music and teach our kids that's good? That was my first very confusing encounter of the weird dynamic America has with blacks where they just side with black over white no matter what.
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)10:08:36 No.868156612 >be me, new in America from a s------- country >learn in school about treating everyone equal and respecting everyone >very wholesome, never learned this before, I like it 75 KB JPG >there's a controversy in media and everyone's talking about it >white mom is big sad that popular music her kids are listening to promotes drugs, crime, foul language, mysogny >I completely agree with her >start listening to commentary on the whole scenario >everyone is angry at her for disrespecting black culture >wut??? Is that black culture??? >should we respect that music and teach our kids that's good? That was my first very confusing encounter of the weird dynamic America has with blacks where they just side with black over white no matter what.

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Oopsies, took the wrong truck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)15:03:03 No.864888372 Backfiring pranks thread >Be me >Walking to local cafe in the morning to grab a cup of coffee before I go to work > As I'm walking I notice a familiar truck with the ignition on and 31 KB JPG windows tinted > Recognise it as my friends truck >See him standing in front of the cafe >Decide to do a little trolling > Jump in his truck and start driving > Drive slowly near the cafe hoping he will notice me > Guy I've never seen before screams " HEY THATS MY TRUCK!!!!" > OH F--- > PANIC > Drive for about 5 minutes in stolen truck > Park it and leave keys in the glove compartment >Order an uber and when uber arrives i cancel the ride and offer to pay in cash so no evidence of ride > I called in sick to work It's been about a week and the guy found his truck but I think I'm gonna retire from pranks
: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)15:03:03 No.864888372 Backfiring pranks thread >Be me >Walking to local cafe in the morning to grab a cup of coffee before I go to work > As I'm walking I notice a familiar truck with the ignition on and 31 KB JPG windows tinted > Recognise it as my friends truck >See him standing in front of the cafe >Decide to do a little trolling > Jump in his truck and start driving > Drive slowly near the cafe hoping he will notice me > Guy I've never seen before screams " HEY THATS MY TRUCK!!!!" > OH F--- > PANIC > Drive for about 5 minutes in stolen truck > Park it and leave keys in the glove compartment >Order an uber and when uber arrives i cancel the ride and offer to pay in cash so no evidence of ride > I called in sick to work It's been about a week and the guy found his truck but I think I'm gonna retire from pranks

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Anon is pretty based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/20(Sun)10:30:29 No.144198802 >watching historical television and film >See a historical figure recast as a person of color >Immediately shut it off 7 KB PNG
: Anonymous 12/27/20(Sun)10:30:29 No.144198802 >watching historical television and film >See a historical figure recast as a person of color >Immediately shut it off 7 KB PNG

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)07:31:41 No.868150800 >cope with lonely life by spending hours looking at memes every day >new meme drops >"me and the boys hurr durr" >can't relate because no friends >mfw even memes remind me I'm a 31 KB JPG loner
E Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)07:31:41 No.868150800 >cope with lonely life by spending hours looking at memes every day >new meme drops >"me and the boys hurr durr" >can't relate because no friends >mfw even memes remind me I'm a 31 KB JPG loner

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Better off Dead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)09:13:51 No.66465219 >>66465118 (OP) # >be me >in uni >sit down to s--- >constipated >sit for a good 15 minutes >classes end >people come in >"hey man, what are you doing?" >"I'm waiting for a toilet but these guys are committing suicide or something!" >that's it, can't go out >wait another 15 minutes until classes have started >get out >never actually s---
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)09:13:51 No.66465219 >>66465118 (OP) # >be me >in uni >sit down to s--- >constipated >sit for a good 15 minutes >classes end >people come in >"hey man, what are you doing?" >"I'm waiting for a toilet but these guys are committing suicide or something!" >that's it, can't go out >wait another 15 minutes until classes have started >get out >never actually s---

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Anon is gonna be promoted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)20:22:52 No.66467571 >got drunk and accidentally texted a picture of my penis e---------- to my work WhatsApp group It's f------ over, I haven't even looked at the replies and people have been calling my phone 85 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)20:22:52 No.66467571 >got drunk and accidentally texted a picture of my penis e---------- to my work WhatsApp group It's f------ over, I haven't even looked at the replies and people have been calling my phone 85 KB JPG

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Anon has an weird uncle | /r/Greentext


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Anon returns to monke! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/21 (Wed)19:35:16 No.62484247 >live alone and start to feel lonely >install vrchat and join some servers >all e-couples, whiney americans and furries >get really depressed cause it's all degen cliques 44 KB JPG >suddenly come across some other guys with monkey avatars >more people notice and start monkeying around >end up spending the night harassing e-couples with 4 other guys >leave not feeling so lonely 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/24/21 (Wed)19:35:16 No.62484247 >live alone and start to feel lonely >install vrchat and join some servers >all e-couples, whiney americans and furries >get really depressed cause it's all degen cliques 44 KB JPG >suddenly come across some other guys with monkey avatars >more people notice and start monkeying around >end up spending the night harassing e-couples with 4 other guys >leave not feeling so lonely 6 Replies View Thread

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