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Anon goes job hunting | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)10:00:32 No.868014597 ► >applying to job >"we do not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, or gender." >close application
O Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)10:00:32 No.868014597 ► >applying to job >"we do not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, or gender." >close application

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anon has a phone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21 (Mon)06:34:56 No.66450505 >turn on phone for first time in 20 hours >its already warm after 1 minute 7 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/06/21 (Mon)06:34:56 No.66450505 >turn on phone for first time in 20 hours >its already warm after 1 minute 7 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread

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anon better not fuck it up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What did she mean by this? 12/05/21(Sun)20:21:08 No.66444392 >On first date with girl >Having a good time, talking and s--- >go out with her to eat >we finish eating and I go to pay >She accidently calls me "babe" in front | of the waitress 34 KB JPG Is she my girlfriend now?
: Anonymous What did she mean by this? 12/05/21(Sun)20:21:08 No.66444392 >On first date with girl >Having a good time, talking and s--- >go out with her to eat >we finish eating and I go to pay >She accidently calls me "babe" in front | of the waitress 34 KB JPG Is she my girlfriend now?

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anon does a bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)15:10:57 No.376877 ► >>376881 >>380301 >>405711 >>414562 >>423271 >>460587 File: crosshair example.png (20 KB, 618x356) >>376388 (OP) >set crosshair to a ridiculous size >just giant blocks of some obnoxious color filling up 90% of the screen >unable to see s--- >lurk and stay alive >remaining teammates are forced to spectate you >genuinely try your best to clutch the round I've found this more entertaining than general griefing.
U Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)15:10:57 No.376877 ► >>376881 >>380301 >>405711 >>414562 >>423271 >>460587 File: crosshair example.png (20 KB, 618x356) >>376388 (OP) >set crosshair to a ridiculous size >just giant blocks of some obnoxious color filling up 90% of the screen >unable to see s--- >lurk and stay alive >remaining teammates are forced to spectate you >genuinely try your best to clutch the round I've found this more entertaining than general griefing.

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Anon has a literal brony | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)23:59:33 No.160226379 >be me >12 year old kid with a brother 6 years older than me >brother goes to the living room with a hard drive >connects hard drive on tv 107 KB PNG >it's filled with a lot of episodes of 1 show >it's my little pony >brother ironically watches my little pony in the living room >ask him why he's doing this >"cultured and cool kids watch this. you wouldnt get it" >i really don't get it >ignore him as he watches >i go back to playing club penguin >brother sings and dances while watching like a retard >he seems to be really interested >he watches just like that for a few more days >he suddenly stops and doesn't talk about it ever again >strange but i dont really care >fast forward 8 years later >he has a kid now >i remember that my little pony weekend >ask brother about it >"bro u remember that one short time u got obsessed with watching my little pony" >"no anon shut the f--- up now i don't think that ever happened what the hell are you talking about that's dumb" >seems like he's hiding something >i dont ever ask him about it again since it seemed to bother him what the f--- could that be about
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)23:59:33 No.160226379 >be me >12 year old kid with a brother 6 years older than me >brother goes to the living room with a hard drive >connects hard drive on tv 107 KB PNG >it's filled with a lot of episodes of 1 show >it's my little pony >brother ironically watches my little pony in the living room >ask him why he's doing this >"cultured and cool kids watch this. you wouldnt get it" >i really don't get it >ignore him as he watches >i go back to playing club penguin >brother sings and dances while watching like a retard >he seems to be really interested >he watches just like that for a few more days >he suddenly stops and doesn't talk about it ever again >strange but i dont really care >fast forward 8 years later >he has a kid now >i remember that my little pony weekend >ask brother about it >"bro u remember that one short time u got obsessed with watching my little pony" >"no anon shut the f--- up now i don't think that ever happened what the hell are you talking about that's dumb" >seems like he's hiding something >i dont ever ask him about it again since it seemed to bother him what the f--- could that be about

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Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'Il be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"
: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'Il be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"

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Anon is a sociopath | /r/Greentext


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Images That Make You Feel Pain

: Anonymous06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen 24 KB JPG >realize I dont even have paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away
: Anonymous06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen 24 KB JPG >realize I dont even have paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away

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Anon isnt a pig | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)23:45:01 No.868051938 >feminists claim all men are pigs >pigs can't look up >men can Checkmate feminists 10 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)23:45:01 No.868051938 >feminists claim all men are pigs >pigs can't look up >men can Checkmate feminists 10 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon uses free and open source software | /r/Greentext

>using linux in front of class mates >teacher says "ok students, now open photoshop" >start furiously typing away at terminal to install Wine >Errors out the ass 88 KB JPG >Everyone else has already started their classwork >I start to sweat >Install GIMP >"Umm.what the f--- is THAT anon?" a girl next to me asks >l tell her its GIMP and can do everything that photoshop does and IT'S FREE! >"Ok class, now draw use the shape tool to draw a circle!" the teacher says >l f------ break down and cry and run out of the class >l get beat up in the parking lot after school
>using linux in front of class mates >teacher says "ok students, now open photoshop" >start furiously typing away at terminal to install Wine >Errors out the ass 88 KB JPG >Everyone else has already started their classwork >I start to sweat >Install GIMP >"Umm.what the f--- is THAT anon?" a girl next to me asks >l tell her its GIMP and can do everything that photoshop does and IT'S FREE! >"Ok class, now draw use the shape tool to draw a circle!" the teacher says >l f------ break down and cry and run out of the class >l get beat up in the parking lot after school

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Anon wants to be happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/20(Fri)08:51:51 No.56196398 >be me >be last year >l actually start making an effort with girls for the first time in my life >get rejected 5 times 63 KB JPG >be 2020 >girl from college classes who I barely noticed before is showing blatant interest out of nowhere >hook up with her since no other options >finally have gf >l don't actually care about her one bit >feel just as s--- as ever I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY FOR ONCE F---
: Anonymous 01/10/20(Fri)08:51:51 No.56196398 >be me >be last year >l actually start making an effort with girls for the first time in my life >get rejected 5 times 63 KB JPG >be 2020 >girl from college classes who I barely noticed before is showing blatant interest out of nowhere >hook up with her since no other options >finally have gf >l don't actually care about her one bit >feel just as s--- as ever I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY FOR ONCE F---

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Anon’s mom’s secret | /r/Greentext


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anon gets a haircut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)02:59:09 No.66448750 >Grew hair long over 2020 and 2021 like a lot of guys >Have actually felt good about it, think I look better than with short hair >Walking home >Walk past group of women >One of them sarcastically says I have 205 KB JPG great hair >Her friends all laugh F------ c----. I'm getting a haircut.
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)02:59:09 No.66448750 >Grew hair long over 2020 and 2021 like a lot of guys >Have actually felt good about it, think I look better than with short hair >Walking home >Walk past group of women >One of them sarcastically says I have 205 KB JPG great hair >Her friends all laugh F------ c----. I'm getting a haircut.

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Nice Frog Variant | /r/Greentext

No. 868047326 25 minutes ago download (16).jfif.jpg JPG 6.4 KiB 234x216 >be me >22 years old >homeschooled by autistic parents >they have $2 million they saved by wageslaving for 40 years but they were jobless since i was born, so we live extremely frugally >manage to beg them for $70k to put in crypto in 2018 >that $70k turns into $20 million >still a virgin >still will probably never get a normie job >still wish my autistic parents sent me to school (which i asked them to when i was a kid but they yelled at me) 3 replies
No. 868047326 25 minutes ago download (16).jfif.jpg JPG 6.4 KiB 234x216 >be me >22 years old >homeschooled by autistic parents >they have $2 million they saved by wageslaving for 40 years but they were jobless since i was born, so we live extremely frugally >manage to beg them for $70k to put in crypto in 2018 >that $70k turns into $20 million >still a virgin >still will probably never get a normie job >still wish my autistic parents sent me to school (which i asked them to when i was a kid but they yelled at me) 3 replies

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Anon predicts the Game Awards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)17:47:57 No.868052097 Rockstar Games reportedly will make a big announcement at #TheGameAwards V to appease disappointed fans. Rockstar Games will win back fans' trust with announcement. thegameawards.com/about ROCKSTAR GAMES ROCKSTAR GAMES R 65C5B981-6F6E-44A7-A6DD-68E7E0134601.jpg 267 KB JPG >CEO of Rockstar Games comes onto stage >Talks about new RDR2:0 features, updates to the definitive edition trilogy >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" > "Attendees perk up >A huge f------ VI slowly fades onto screen >Crowd goes bananas and bursts into tears > “new buyable houses with missions for GTA 5 Online" quickly pops up next to it >CEO gets shot
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)17:47:57 No.868052097 Rockstar Games reportedly will make a big announcement at #TheGameAwards V to appease disappointed fans. Rockstar Games will win back fans' trust with announcement. thegameawards.com/about ROCKSTAR GAMES ROCKSTAR GAMES R 65C5B981-6F6E-44A7-A6DD-68E7E0134601.jpg 267 KB JPG >CEO of Rockstar Games comes onto stage >Talks about new RDR2:0 features, updates to the definitive edition trilogy >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" > "Attendees perk up >A huge f------ VI slowly fades onto screen >Crowd goes bananas and bursts into tears > “new buyable houses with missions for GTA 5 Online" quickly pops up next to it >CEO gets shot

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anon doesn't like nirvana | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)22:02:38 No.66445784 >>66445609 (OP) # >*beginner guitar chord intro* >I SAW MY CAT SMOKING MY WEED >*bend string* >YEAAH >*bend string* >YEAAH >A MOSQUITO >YEAAH wow, thanks kurt cobain for your "groundbreaking" music
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)22:02:38 No.66445784 >>66445609 (OP) # >*beginner guitar chord intro* >I SAW MY CAT SMOKING MY WEED >*bend string* >YEAAH >*bend string* >YEAAH >A MOSQUITO >YEAAH wow, thanks kurt cobain for your "groundbreaking" music

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Fat chance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)12:53:25 No.66438711 >match with some unattractive chubby girl on tinder >she has an interesting bio and is pleasant to talk to >tell myself "ok stop being so shallow, she's not THAT unattractive, seems like a sweet girl, lets go for it man!" 345 КВ ЈPG >she ghosts me eventually w--
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)12:53:25 No.66438711 >match with some unattractive chubby girl on tinder >she has an interesting bio and is pleasant to talk to >tell myself "ok stop being so shallow, she's not THAT unattractive, seems like a sweet girl, lets go for it man!" 345 КВ ЈPG >she ghosts me eventually w--

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Anon’s a Jokester | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)12:30:37 No.792364230 >be me >total Chad >girls always checking me out >have a date pretty much every day >constantly getting new ink 605 KB JPG >only stay with a girl for a year at most before moving on >be a calendar >pic unrelated View Thread
: Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)12:30:37 No.792364230 >be me >total Chad >girls always checking me out >have a date pretty much every day >constantly getting new ink 605 KB JPG >only stay with a girl for a year at most before moving on >be a calendar >pic unrelated View Thread

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Anon meets a redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)21:36:40 No.868065487 >Be freshman in High School >Shy but manage to get a small friend group going >Consists of four dudes >At lunch we just look at memes whole time because we're unfunny weird freshman 8 KB JPG >Some random freak starts sitting with us >All of us too p---- to tell him to f--- off >Every day he just eats tots dipped in mayo sauce and a s----- ham sandwich from cafeteria >ls on reddit whole time >Constantly just reading s--- from r/dankmemes and bursts out laughing every time >Really don't want to tell this autistic kid to stop sitting with us because don't want to make him cry but it's getting to the point where lunch isn't enjoyable at all with him sitting there >One day see him bolting through hallway >Gets yelled at by monitor >idea.jpg >Decide i'm going to get him expelled from school >Bring dad's giant bowie knife to school >ls hidden in my backpack >Waiting for opportunity to plant knife in his backpack without anyone noticing >Even if he tells school it's not his knife he'll still get expelled >At lunch he sets backpack down at our table before going to lunch line >Slip knife in his backpack with friends standing around me so no one sees >Open his backpack >There's a gun in his backpack >Mfw
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)21:36:40 No.868065487 >Be freshman in High School >Shy but manage to get a small friend group going >Consists of four dudes >At lunch we just look at memes whole time because we're unfunny weird freshman 8 KB JPG >Some random freak starts sitting with us >All of us too p---- to tell him to f--- off >Every day he just eats tots dipped in mayo sauce and a s----- ham sandwich from cafeteria >ls on reddit whole time >Constantly just reading s--- from r/dankmemes and bursts out laughing every time >Really don't want to tell this autistic kid to stop sitting with us because don't want to make him cry but it's getting to the point where lunch isn't enjoyable at all with him sitting there >One day see him bolting through hallway >Gets yelled at by monitor >idea.jpg >Decide i'm going to get him expelled from school >Bring dad's giant bowie knife to school >ls hidden in my backpack >Waiting for opportunity to plant knife in his backpack without anyone noticing >Even if he tells school it's not his knife he'll still get expelled >At lunch he sets backpack down at our table before going to lunch line >Slip knife in his backpack with friends standing around me so no one sees >Open his backpack >There's a gun in his backpack >Mfw

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A story about Anon's 35 year old hot mom | /r/Greentext

sounds View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 1340257735599.png, 3 kB, 203x212 Anonymous Mon Feb 04 2013 17:31:10 No.174716972 View Report >be 19 >mom is 35 and hot >she comes to my room one night, wearing a babydoll >"Son, your dad is sleeping, he doesn't wanna play with me and I'm bored." >"What?" >"I wanna play with you. Stay here, I'll look for something so get ready." >confused as f--- >take my clothes off, sit on the bed >she comes back with Monopoly >she sees me >l see her >uncomfortable silence >she leaves >hear her laughing before she closes the door >next morning at breakfast, dad asks me; >"You tried to f--- your mother?" >they start laughing >get up and leave
sounds View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 1340257735599.png, 3 kB, 203x212 Anonymous Mon Feb 04 2013 17:31:10 No.174716972 View Report >be 19 >mom is 35 and hot >she comes to my room one night, wearing a babydoll >"Son, your dad is sleeping, he doesn't wanna play with me and I'm bored." >"What?" >"I wanna play with you. Stay here, I'll look for something so get ready." >confused as f--- >take my clothes off, sit on the bed >she comes back with Monopoly >she sees me >l see her >uncomfortable silence >she leaves >hear her laughing before she closes the door >next morning at breakfast, dad asks me; >"You tried to f--- your mother?" >they start laughing >get up and leave

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