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inshallah anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)13:26:21 No.149806974 6873 1150 MELSSh 6G5T A5 660 Z66-633 BB6B0149-59C3-43F2-9FE7-329FE6283F3E.jpg 25 KB JPG >look up meaning of name "Drake" >it means "snake or dragon" >the devil is referred to as both a snake and dragon in the Bible >Jesus's birth name was Yeshua, which translates a Joshua in English >MFW the Bible was the original Drake and Josh >MFW Drake Bell is the antichrist and Josh Peck is the Messiah
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)13:26:21 No.149806974 6873 1150 MELSSh 6G5T A5 660 Z66-633 BB6B0149-59C3-43F2-9FE7-329FE6283F3E.jpg 25 KB JPG >look up meaning of name "Drake" >it means "snake or dragon" >the devil is referred to as both a snake and dragon in the Bible >Jesus's birth name was Yeshua, which translates a Joshua in English >MFW the Bible was the original Drake and Josh >MFW Drake Bell is the antichrist and Josh Peck is the Messiah

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The Power of Family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)00:11:40 No.580464958 >>580461630 # >Be me >Taking grillfriend and Mother out to dinner. 82 KB GIF >In car with grillfriend. >Go pick up Mother >"Babe, sit in the back so my Mother can sit up front." >Grillfriend looks at me with dagger eyes but she gets her in ass in the back. >That night she was absolutely furious that I made her sit in back. >l explained to her that my Mother gave birth to me, raised me and will ultimately be there for me when we break up. Stupid thots thinking they'll ever compare to my Mother.
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)00:11:40 No.580464958 >>580461630 # >Be me >Taking grillfriend and Mother out to dinner. 82 KB GIF >In car with grillfriend. >Go pick up Mother >"Babe, sit in the back so my Mother can sit up front." >Grillfriend looks at me with dagger eyes but she gets her in ass in the back. >That night she was absolutely furious that I made her sit in back. >l explained to her that my Mother gave birth to me, raised me and will ultimately be there for me when we break up. Stupid thots thinking they'll ever compare to my Mother.

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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Anon is an Indian man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:54:22 No.62073940 Femanons, would you date an Indian man? 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:56:10 No.62073979 >>62073940 (OP) # Vikram, my moms computer needs updating again, get off 4chan and give her a call, ok?
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:54:22 No.62073940 Femanons, would you date an Indian man? 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:56:10 No.62073979 >>62073940 (OP) # Vikram, my moms computer needs updating again, get off 4chan and give her a call, ok?

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Anon listens to Africa | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 770101768 17 min, ago .. Green text story >Go to bar >Modern Jukebox in corner >Start to browse >See Africa by Toto >Put in 500$ >50 cents per song >Select Africa 1000 times 7.1 kB PNG >Takes a minute >People start to stare >Leave bar >Africa is 4 minutes 30 seconds >100 plays 75 hours >Return a couple days later- at hour 48 >Africa is still playing >l set down and order a drink >Partons look miserable >Bar staff is irritable >An hour goes by >Finally the bar owner emerges from the back furious >Starts trying to unplug machine >Can't- too heavy and its plugged in via extension chord behind the wall >Patrons try to help >All the patrons except me >l say "it's a good song" and immediately some black dude screams "shut the f--- up" >Still cannot unplug >You could say "it's something 100 men could never do" >Patrons and owner are furious still and getting more angry >Owner picks up chair and starts to beat machine >Machine starts playing "rains in Africa" on repeat >Everyone is now loosing their s--- >They continue to attack Jukebox for 45 minutes >Someone gets a shovel from god knows where >Machine is finally broken >Everyone cheers >Bar is dead quiet now >Leave >Come back a month later (yesterday) >New Jukebox >This time I double down >Select "Never gonna give you up" 1000 times >Leave >I shall return in 2 days
Anonymous 770101768 17 min, ago .. Green text story >Go to bar >Modern Jukebox in corner >Start to browse >See Africa by Toto >Put in 500$ >50 cents per song >Select Africa 1000 times 7.1 kB PNG >Takes a minute >People start to stare >Leave bar >Africa is 4 minutes 30 seconds >100 plays 75 hours >Return a couple days later- at hour 48 >Africa is still playing >l set down and order a drink >Partons look miserable >Bar staff is irritable >An hour goes by >Finally the bar owner emerges from the back furious >Starts trying to unplug machine >Can't- too heavy and its plugged in via extension chord behind the wall >Patrons try to help >All the patrons except me >l say "it's a good song" and immediately some black dude screams "shut the f--- up" >Still cannot unplug >You could say "it's something 100 men could never do" >Patrons and owner are furious still and getting more angry >Owner picks up chair and starts to beat machine >Machine starts playing "rains in Africa" on repeat >Everyone is now loosing their s--- >They continue to attack Jukebox for 45 minutes >Someone gets a shovel from god knows where >Machine is finally broken >Everyone cheers >Bar is dead quiet now >Leave >Come back a month later (yesterday) >New Jukebox >This time I double down >Select "Never gonna give you up" 1000 times >Leave >I shall return in 2 days

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Hitler had a sidekick | /r/Greentext


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Anon loves her cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)20:46:04 No.792494021 >be me, 17f and in treatmen and recovery from r--- >walking through petco to pick up crickets for my friends pet lizard >lock eyes with this cat in the adoption area >she presses her paw up to the 570 KB JPG glass >cryinginpublic.jpg >l impulsively adopt her >two months later, sucidal thoughts almost nonexistent and able to talk to strangers again >cat is my best friend, she never leaves my side when I'm home and encourages me to get out of bed in the morning Don't forget to give your pet a hug today
: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)20:46:04 No.792494021 >be me, 17f and in treatmen and recovery from r--- >walking through petco to pick up crickets for my friends pet lizard >lock eyes with this cat in the adoption area >she presses her paw up to the 570 KB JPG glass >cryinginpublic.jpg >l impulsively adopt her >two months later, sucidal thoughts almost nonexistent and able to talk to strangers again >cat is my best friend, she never leaves my side when I'm home and encourages me to get out of bed in the morning Don't forget to give your pet a hug today

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Anon meets the parents | /r/Greentext

>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget
>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget

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Anon spends $10 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/18(Thu)08:02:15 No.44422418 >paid a h----- an extra $10 to shout "yamete onii- chan!!-" when i f----- her Best use of that $10 ever 88 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/05/18(Thu)08:02:15 No.44422418 >paid a h----- an extra $10 to shout "yamete onii- chan!!-" when i f----- her Best use of that $10 ever 88 KB JPG

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Happy wife, happy life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:23:04 No.66439080 >wife about to leave for holiday trip to Jamaica >almost finished downloading all my games l'll play when she's away >working from home due to the coof aka gaming all day 79 KB JPG Kino. I love her but sometimes a man needs some manly time alone. You guys should be thankful you dont have to deal with a womans s--- 24/7. : Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:24:19 No.66439093 >>66439080 (OP) # >holiday trip to jamaica hahahahAHAНАНАНАНАНАНАН 22 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:23:04 No.66439080 >wife about to leave for holiday trip to Jamaica >almost finished downloading all my games l'll play when she's away >working from home due to the coof aka gaming all day 79 KB JPG Kino. I love her but sometimes a man needs some manly time alone. You guys should be thankful you dont have to deal with a womans s--- 24/7. : Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:24:19 No.66439093 >>66439080 (OP) # >holiday trip to jamaica hahahahAHAНАНАНАНАНАНАН 22 KB JPG

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Anon makes a thread | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:07:35 No.144892714 >Encounters gods all the time >ls atheist 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:09:11 No.144892749 >OP posts >is f-----
: Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:07:35 No.144892714 >Encounters gods all the time >ls atheist 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:09:11 No.144892749 >OP posts >is f-----

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Anon gets a taste of his own medicine! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG
: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG

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Anon hates apple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos
: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos

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Anon hates Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:24:41 No.159020639 >no personality >no charisma >no good looks >no skills >doesn't improve >doesn't grow as a person >revolves around being the "chosen one" 250 KB JPG >is constatly jobbed and bossed around and he happily obliges harry is the lamest protag ever conceived : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:26:32 No.159020681 >becomes a cop Sounds about right
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:24:41 No.159020639 >no personality >no charisma >no good looks >no skills >doesn't improve >doesn't grow as a person >revolves around being the "chosen one" 250 KB JPG >is constatly jobbed and bossed around and he happily obliges harry is the lamest protag ever conceived : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:26:32 No.159020681 >becomes a cop Sounds about right

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Anon is harassed in public | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it Todo lo que no se reproduce no es de Dios 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml
: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it Todo lo que no se reproduce no es de Dios 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml

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Most Beautiful Greentext Ever Conceived. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what Il be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >dont think much other of it though -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks ifi would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what Il be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >dont think much other of it though -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks ifi would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife

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Anon digs a fish pond | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me
>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Anon loves his cousin | /r/Greentext

1CaPOfm 2 minutes ago No.560860141 >be me >be 15 >go to cousins for sleep over >have 3 cousins >2 guys 1 girl >stay up late >play vidya watch movies >girl cousin says uncle has lots of extra beer >he wont notice a few missing >coool Swe get buzzed >younger guy cousin doesnt like beer goes to bed >other guy cousin gets phone call from qt3.14 and splits for a while >just me and girl cousin >drink 3-4 more while watching movie >cousin starts saying shes drunk >10 minutes later look over and shes crashed out >find a blanket and cover her up >go to bed without molesting cousin because we have a stable family relationship and im not attracted to her
1CaPOfm 2 minutes ago No.560860141 >be me >be 15 >go to cousins for sleep over >have 3 cousins >2 guys 1 girl >stay up late >play vidya watch movies >girl cousin says uncle has lots of extra beer >he wont notice a few missing >coool Swe get buzzed >younger guy cousin doesnt like beer goes to bed >other guy cousin gets phone call from qt3.14 and splits for a while >just me and girl cousin >drink 3-4 more while watching movie >cousin starts saying shes drunk >10 minutes later look over and shes crashed out >find a blanket and cover her up >go to bed without molesting cousin because we have a stable family relationship and im not attracted to her

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to brit pub | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZE+omJEM 12/04/21(Sat)06:18:41 No.13972360 >Go to Britain >Visit a pub >Order some French fries with my beer >Weird and toothy looking bartender (pubtender?) goes 86 KB JPG ballistic >OI THEY IS CALLED CHIPS THEY IS! MADE FROM THE FINEST POTATOES IN ALL THE QUEEN'S LAND THEY IS SHOW THEM THE PROPER RESPECT >Sorry bro I meant chips >bartender turns to a portrait of the queen hanging above the bar >OI YOUR MAJESTY HE'S SORRY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING The fries weren't very good and I have a feeling they were not actually made from the finest potatoes in the commonwealth 5 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: ZE+omJEM 12/04/21(Sat)06:18:41 No.13972360 >Go to Britain >Visit a pub >Order some French fries with my beer >Weird and toothy looking bartender (pubtender?) goes 86 KB JPG ballistic >OI THEY IS CALLED CHIPS THEY IS! MADE FROM THE FINEST POTATOES IN ALL THE QUEEN'S LAND THEY IS SHOW THEM THE PROPER RESPECT >Sorry bro I meant chips >bartender turns to a portrait of the queen hanging above the bar >OI YOUR MAJESTY HE'S SORRY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING The fries weren't very good and I have a feeling they were not actually made from the finest potatoes in the commonwealth 5 Replies View Thread

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