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Anon covers his tracks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)17:05:53 No.867916101 >be me 1 hour ago >home alone for a bit >c-- in the toilet >flush >doesn't flush >flush again 44 KB PNG >??? >toilet isn't flushing >find out apartment shut off our water for maintenance >my c-- is floating in the toilet not able to go down >mom calls >"hey anon just wanted to let you know we'll be home soon" >wellshit.jpg >maybe l'll just wait for the water to turn back on >parents get home >mom is heading towards bathoom >F--- F--- F--- F--- >get there first >"anon I really need to use the bathroom" >"sorry mom me too" >spend the next 15 minutes scooping my c-- droplets out of the water and into the trash >go to wash hands >oh right, water's off >walk out of bathroom hands covered in c-- and toilet water at least I got away with it
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)17:05:53 No.867916101 >be me 1 hour ago >home alone for a bit >c-- in the toilet >flush >doesn't flush >flush again 44 KB PNG >??? >toilet isn't flushing >find out apartment shut off our water for maintenance >my c-- is floating in the toilet not able to go down >mom calls >"hey anon just wanted to let you know we'll be home soon" >wellshit.jpg >maybe l'll just wait for the water to turn back on >parents get home >mom is heading towards bathoom >F--- F--- F--- F--- >get there first >"anon I really need to use the bathroom" >"sorry mom me too" >spend the next 15 minutes scooping my c-- droplets out of the water and into the trash >go to wash hands >oh right, water's off >walk out of bathroom hands covered in c-- and toilet water at least I got away with it

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Anon talks to porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass 85 KB JPG >my dad walks up and closes my door >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying : Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 >talking to p--- are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #
: Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass 85 KB JPG >my dad walks up and closes my door >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying : Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 >talking to p--- are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #

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Anon works | /r/Greentext

Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo
Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo

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Anon lives in Alabama | /r/Greentext


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Anon lives in the land of Pepsi | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a silver-tongued devil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)22:28:33 No.56782521 >"So, what brings you to Japan, anon-san?" >"Another English teacher? *snort*" 361 KB JPG 13 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)22:52:47 No.56782938 >>56782521 (OP) # >"no I came to get an autograph from you l'm a big fan and loved your work in 'Schoolgirl A--- Inferno" 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)22:28:33 No.56782521 >"So, what brings you to Japan, anon-san?" >"Another English teacher? *snort*" 361 KB JPG 13 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)22:52:47 No.56782938 >>56782521 (OP) # >"no I came to get an autograph from you l'm a big fan and loved your work in 'Schoolgirl A--- Inferno" 8 KB JPG

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anon gets cucked in his own dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)19:38:12 No.66416492 >>66415748 (OP) # that literally happened in my dream last night. >cuddling with a girl in my dream >apparently we've been dating for 107 KB JPG years >running my fingers through her hair on my sofa and talk about our day >"yeah anon, me and my fiance- oh.." "y-your fiance?" >"yeah... we eloped a year after you and I got together. we're getting married before the year ends." "no worries haha. can we still be together?" >silence for 5 seconds then i wake up >the only person dream me felt happy with betrayed my trust >im so desperate for human connection i decide to stay with her >at the point where im getting cucked in my dream im so pathetic
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)19:38:12 No.66416492 >>66415748 (OP) # that literally happened in my dream last night. >cuddling with a girl in my dream >apparently we've been dating for 107 KB JPG years >running my fingers through her hair on my sofa and talk about our day >"yeah anon, me and my fiance- oh.." "y-your fiance?" >"yeah... we eloped a year after you and I got together. we're getting married before the year ends." "no worries haha. can we still be together?" >silence for 5 seconds then i wake up >the only person dream me felt happy with betrayed my trust >im so desperate for human connection i decide to stay with her >at the point where im getting cucked in my dream im so pathetic

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Anon watches movies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:17:39 No.155661490 >Frankenstein is not the monster >The big Lebowski is not the dude >Dorothy is not the wizard of Oz oke 919 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:20:26 No.155661549 >>155661490 (OP)_# >OP is not straight
: Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:17:39 No.155661490 >Frankenstein is not the monster >The big Lebowski is not the dude >Dorothy is not the wizard of Oz oke 919 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:20:26 No.155661549 >>155661490 (OP)_# >OP is not straight

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Anon loses fat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man
Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man

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Anon is unhappy with his name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG

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Anon cures his depression | /r/Greentext

Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people? My life was boring as f--- and I was depressed so I started going out and just fighting people I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to highschool kids and now I'm picking fights with grown men 137 KB JPG I even have a nemesis >beat up the same guy a couple of times >find out where he works >catch him off guard after he gets off work >he's been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve >dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me basically My life is soo much more excited now am I f------ crazy for doing this ?
Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people? My life was boring as f--- and I was depressed so I started going out and just fighting people I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to highschool kids and now I'm picking fights with grown men 137 KB JPG I even have a nemesis >beat up the same guy a couple of times >find out where he works >catch him off guard after he gets off work >he's been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve >dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me basically My life is soo much more excited now am I f------ crazy for doing this ?

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Anon is a dog person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ●• >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"
Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ●• >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"

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Suicide hotline anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 815056689 1시간 전 ·. Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of 124.0 kB PNG $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >l asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 815056689 1시간 전 ·. Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of 124.0 kB PNG $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >l asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon thinks everything is about him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)02:16:16 No.66405964 >tfw name is Brandon >Everyone has been cheering lately me on 67 KB PNG
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)02:16:16 No.66405964 >tfw name is Brandon >Everyone has been cheering lately me on 67 KB PNG

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Anon gets what we all deserve | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/15(Tue)12:18:37 No.657625227 >be me >be autistic fun lover >live on farm in the middle of nowhere Downy >one day working out in the fields >tummy starts to hurt >toomuchtendies.jpeg >feel the largest s--- of my life approaching my 88 KB JPG rectum >drop my pants and lean on an old fence for support >push out a massive turd with the strength of a thousand young suns >feelsgood.meme >be a month later >doctor finds a tumor near my tailbone >fence I shat on had lots of carcinogenic paint on it >mfw I literally got ass cancer from s--- posting
: Anonymous 12/15/15(Tue)12:18:37 No.657625227 >be me >be autistic fun lover >live on farm in the middle of nowhere Downy >one day working out in the fields >tummy starts to hurt >toomuchtendies.jpeg >feel the largest s--- of my life approaching my 88 KB JPG rectum >drop my pants and lean on an old fence for support >push out a massive turd with the strength of a thousand young suns >feelsgood.meme >be a month later >doctor finds a tumor near my tailbone >fence I shat on had lots of carcinogenic paint on it >mfw I literally got ass cancer from s--- posting

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Anon goes to space | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Wkjdyg9l File: chimp.png (198 KB, 233x375) 02/26/17(Sun)12:53:04 No.114410325 LE NAS >be me.a f------ monkey >live around African negroes for 20,000 years >climbing trees and s--- >meet some white guys >Become astronaut, fly in space ships and s---, orbit the planet many times.
Anonymous (ID: Wkjdyg9l File: chimp.png (198 KB, 233x375) 02/26/17(Sun)12:53:04 No.114410325 LE NAS >be me.a f------ monkey >live around African negroes for 20,000 years >climbing trees and s--- >meet some white guys >Become astronaut, fly in space ships and s---, orbit the planet many times.

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Anon's wife didn't feel good | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 785707303 3 min. ago ••• >be me >meet qt3.14 in uni >ask her out on date >she says yes >fast forward 7 years we're still together >l propose to her on our anniversary and she says yes >about 5 months pass and it's our wedding day >do out vowels and everything >"You may now kiss the bride" >leans in to kiss her 53.3 kB JPG >she suddenly turns into dust >w--.jpg >most of the people in the church turn to dust as well F--- you Thanos REPLY
Anonymous | 785707303 3 min. ago ••• >be me >meet qt3.14 in uni >ask her out on date >she says yes >fast forward 7 years we're still together >l propose to her on our anniversary and she says yes >about 5 months pass and it's our wedding day >do out vowels and everything >"You may now kiss the bride" >leans in to kiss her 53.3 kB JPG >she suddenly turns into dust >w--.jpg >most of the people in the church turn to dust as well F--- you Thanos REPLY

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So that's where the milk goes, kids! | /r/Greentext


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Anon says when | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)10:38:59 No.46535165 ITT: Childhood autism >go to italian restaurant >order pasta >waiter asks me if i want cheese on my pasta 53 KB JPG >say yes >waiter says "ok say when" >i say "when" >"so you don't want any cheese?" >i am confused >"of course i want cheese" >"ok then, say when" >"when" >waiter is p-----, leaves and gives me no cheese >it dawns on me How was I this stupid?
: Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)10:38:59 No.46535165 ITT: Childhood autism >go to italian restaurant >order pasta >waiter asks me if i want cheese on my pasta 53 KB JPG >say yes >waiter says "ok say when" >i say "when" >"so you don't want any cheese?" >i am confused >"of course i want cheese" >"ok then, say when" >"when" >waiter is p-----, leaves and gives me no cheese >it dawns on me How was I this stupid?

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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank
: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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