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Anon hates water | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 56 minutes ago 867927103 >Be born >cannot Stand the sound of rushing water >build entire dam to stop the sound right where it's loudest >get mauled and eaten by bear >refuse to elaborate 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES
Anonymous 56 minutes ago 867927103 >Be born >cannot Stand the sound of rushing water >build entire dam to stop the sound right where it's loudest >get mauled and eaten by bear >refuse to elaborate 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES

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Anon larps as a gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)18:42:55 No.792881471 ► >>792881665 >be friends with hot qtpie >want more but got friendzoned >her bf is a jacked alpha dude >he would kill me if I f----- around with his gf >lonely summer day >chillin at her place like we used to >this time with alcohol >starts talking about sex life >we get homy >l start rubbing the back then the thighs >literally diamonds >I start advancing knowing I'll get rejected >to my surprise I get a h------ >l grow confidence >we end up f------ like animals all night >he says we shouldn't let her know about this We high fived like bros then laughed about how absurd this all was.
Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)18:42:55 No.792881471 ► >>792881665 >be friends with hot qtpie >want more but got friendzoned >her bf is a jacked alpha dude >he would kill me if I f----- around with his gf >lonely summer day >chillin at her place like we used to >this time with alcohol >starts talking about sex life >we get homy >l start rubbing the back then the thighs >literally diamonds >I start advancing knowing I'll get rejected >to my surprise I get a h------ >l grow confidence >we end up f------ like animals all night >he says we shouldn't let her know about this We high fived like bros then laughed about how absurd this all was.

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Don't go anywhere without your Condor | /r/Greentext

File: cutiewithtits.jpg (47 KB, 600x800) Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:06 No.629176850 have you guys ever fuckd a gril without a condor? > Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:59 No 629176965 > Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16:18 No 629177001 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16:40 No. 629177042 > Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:17:30 No 629177130 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:17:53 No.629177179 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:50 No. 629177305 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:51 No.629177306 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 19:46 No.629177428 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:31 No.629177751 O Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:45 No.629177787 >>629178184 >>629178506 >>629178609 File: 1434306256997. gif (258 KB, 301x301) >making out with slut i brought from a nearby bar >gonna f--- this bitch >look to my condor for approval >he s---- on her bag and pecks her outta the room. >later find out she had harpies from friend thank you condor. dodged a f------ bullet
File: cutiewithtits.jpg (47 KB, 600x800) Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:06 No.629176850 have you guys ever fuckd a gril without a condor? > Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:59 No 629176965 > Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16:18 No 629177001 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16:40 No. 629177042 > Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:17:30 No 629177130 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:17:53 No.629177179 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:50 No. 629177305 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:51 No.629177306 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 19:46 No.629177428 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:31 No.629177751 O Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:45 No.629177787 >>629178184 >>629178506 >>629178609 File: 1434306256997. gif (258 KB, 301x301) >making out with slut i brought from a nearby bar >gonna f--- this bitch >look to my condor for approval >he s---- on her bag and pecks her outta the room. >later find out she had harpies from friend thank you condor. dodged a f------ bullet

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Anon is a magician | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/20(Wed)02:36:44 No.829650014 >at a stop light >light is red "go green... NOW >still red "go green... NOW >still red 104 KB PNG "go green... NOW >turns green >mfw
: Anonymous 06/10/20(Wed)02:36:44 No.829650014 >at a stop light >light is red "go green... NOW >still red "go green... NOW >still red 104 KB PNG "go green... NOW >turns green >mfw

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Anon makes a good point. | /r/Greentext


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Anon failed his history class | /r/Greentext


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anon pee pee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)21:59:45 No.62768642 >>62756759 (OP) # >Health class middle school >On the vagina lesson >Teacher asks if anyone has any questions >No one is asking anything and 68 KB JPG she keeps saying come on guys ask away ask away don't be shy >Feel bad that the class is leaving teacher fren hanging >Decide to ask a random question to help her out Raise hand without even thinking of a question first >Teacher: yes a n o n >Run spaghetti.EXE >Miss what happens if you pee in a girl's vagina? >Whole room goes dead silent. To this day I have never heard anything so quiet. >She says I don't know Anon just don't do it. >Have that hot anxiety Rush for the next half hour. | Funny thing is later on that day I was in the library and one of the girls from my class came up to me and said a non l'm so horny but I was too much of an autist to make the connection and just said whaaaaa? And that is the story of how I missed the chance to pee in a girl's vagina. |
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)21:59:45 No.62768642 >>62756759 (OP) # >Health class middle school >On the vagina lesson >Teacher asks if anyone has any questions >No one is asking anything and 68 KB JPG she keeps saying come on guys ask away ask away don't be shy >Feel bad that the class is leaving teacher fren hanging >Decide to ask a random question to help her out Raise hand without even thinking of a question first >Teacher: yes a n o n >Run spaghetti.EXE >Miss what happens if you pee in a girl's vagina? >Whole room goes dead silent. To this day I have never heard anything so quiet. >She says I don't know Anon just don't do it. >Have that hot anxiety Rush for the next half hour. | Funny thing is later on that day I was in the library and one of the girls from my class came up to me and said a non l'm so horny but I was too much of an autist to make the connection and just said whaaaaa? And that is the story of how I missed the chance to pee in a girl's vagina. |

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Anon is a liar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)07:44:03 No.852363575 >be me >never really got attention from girls in hs >now in college >been lifting for the past year >dress well 34 KB JPG >being 6ft 1 helps >in line for a club last night >a girl comes up to me and starts talking >says she knows someone further up in the line and takes me wither her Did I make it anons? 11 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)08:04:13 No.852364355 >>852363575 (OP) # 276 KR ID
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)07:44:03 No.852363575 >be me >never really got attention from girls in hs >now in college >been lifting for the past year >dress well 34 KB JPG >being 6ft 1 helps >in line for a club last night >a girl comes up to me and starts talking >says she knows someone further up in the line and takes me wither her Did I make it anons? 11 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)08:04:13 No.852364355 >>852363575 (OP) # 276 KR ID

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Anon covers his tracks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)17:05:53 No.867916101 >be me 1 hour ago >home alone for a bit >c-- in the toilet >flush >doesn't flush >flush again 44 KB PNG >??? >toilet isn't flushing >find out apartment shut off our water for maintenance >my c-- is floating in the toilet not able to go down >mom calls >"hey anon just wanted to let you know we'll be home soon" >wellshit.jpg >maybe l'll just wait for the water to turn back on >parents get home >mom is heading towards bathoom >F--- F--- F--- F--- >get there first >"anon I really need to use the bathroom" >"sorry mom me too" >spend the next 15 minutes scooping my c-- droplets out of the water and into the trash >go to wash hands >oh right, water's off >walk out of bathroom hands covered in c-- and toilet water at least I got away with it
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)17:05:53 No.867916101 >be me 1 hour ago >home alone for a bit >c-- in the toilet >flush >doesn't flush >flush again 44 KB PNG >??? >toilet isn't flushing >find out apartment shut off our water for maintenance >my c-- is floating in the toilet not able to go down >mom calls >"hey anon just wanted to let you know we'll be home soon" >wellshit.jpg >maybe l'll just wait for the water to turn back on >parents get home >mom is heading towards bathoom >F--- F--- F--- F--- >get there first >"anon I really need to use the bathroom" >"sorry mom me too" >spend the next 15 minutes scooping my c-- droplets out of the water and into the trash >go to wash hands >oh right, water's off >walk out of bathroom hands covered in c-- and toilet water at least I got away with it

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Anon talks to porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass 85 KB JPG >my dad walks up and closes my door >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying : Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 >talking to p--- are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #
: Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass 85 KB JPG >my dad walks up and closes my door >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying : Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 >talking to p--- are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #

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Anon works | /r/Greentext

Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo
Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo

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Anon lives in Alabama | /r/Greentext


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Anon lives in the land of Pepsi | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a silver-tongued devil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)22:28:33 No.56782521 >"So, what brings you to Japan, anon-san?" >"Another English teacher? *snort*" 361 KB JPG 13 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)22:52:47 No.56782938 >>56782521 (OP) # >"no I came to get an autograph from you l'm a big fan and loved your work in 'Schoolgirl A--- Inferno" 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)22:28:33 No.56782521 >"So, what brings you to Japan, anon-san?" >"Another English teacher? *snort*" 361 KB JPG 13 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)22:52:47 No.56782938 >>56782521 (OP) # >"no I came to get an autograph from you l'm a big fan and loved your work in 'Schoolgirl A--- Inferno" 8 KB JPG

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anon gets cucked in his own dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)19:38:12 No.66416492 >>66415748 (OP) # that literally happened in my dream last night. >cuddling with a girl in my dream >apparently we've been dating for 107 KB JPG years >running my fingers through her hair on my sofa and talk about our day >"yeah anon, me and my fiance- oh.." "y-your fiance?" >"yeah... we eloped a year after you and I got together. we're getting married before the year ends." "no worries haha. can we still be together?" >silence for 5 seconds then i wake up >the only person dream me felt happy with betrayed my trust >im so desperate for human connection i decide to stay with her >at the point where im getting cucked in my dream im so pathetic
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)19:38:12 No.66416492 >>66415748 (OP) # that literally happened in my dream last night. >cuddling with a girl in my dream >apparently we've been dating for 107 KB JPG years >running my fingers through her hair on my sofa and talk about our day >"yeah anon, me and my fiance- oh.." "y-your fiance?" >"yeah... we eloped a year after you and I got together. we're getting married before the year ends." "no worries haha. can we still be together?" >silence for 5 seconds then i wake up >the only person dream me felt happy with betrayed my trust >im so desperate for human connection i decide to stay with her >at the point where im getting cucked in my dream im so pathetic

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Anon watches movies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:17:39 No.155661490 >Frankenstein is not the monster >The big Lebowski is not the dude >Dorothy is not the wizard of Oz oke 919 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:20:26 No.155661549 >>155661490 (OP)_# >OP is not straight
: Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:17:39 No.155661490 >Frankenstein is not the monster >The big Lebowski is not the dude >Dorothy is not the wizard of Oz oke 919 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:20:26 No.155661549 >>155661490 (OP)_# >OP is not straight

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Anon loses fat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man
Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man

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Anon is unhappy with his name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG

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Anon cures his depression | /r/Greentext

Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people? My life was boring as f--- and I was depressed so I started going out and just fighting people I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to highschool kids and now I'm picking fights with grown men 137 KB JPG I even have a nemesis >beat up the same guy a couple of times >find out where he works >catch him off guard after he gets off work >he's been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve >dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me basically My life is soo much more excited now am I f------ crazy for doing this ?
Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people? My life was boring as f--- and I was depressed so I started going out and just fighting people I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to highschool kids and now I'm picking fights with grown men 137 KB JPG I even have a nemesis >beat up the same guy a couple of times >find out where he works >catch him off guard after he gets off work >he's been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve >dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me basically My life is soo much more excited now am I f------ crazy for doing this ?

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Anon is a dog person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ●• >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"
Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ●• >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"

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