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Anon’s 9th birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/18(Wed)06:17:38 No.44761552 >9th birthday >finally made some friends at school >convince mum for a small party >my brothers go to my grandparents for the day 143 KB JPG >she buys a custom CatDog and TinyTeddy cake >help mum and dad put up decorations >make lolly bags >set up games >its 12 o clock when the party starts >get exited to she parents the friends i have made and told them about >1 hour passed >another >and another >gets to 4 o clock when we were going to the cinema to see pokemon the movie >tfw nobody came >mum holding back tears says >'do you still want to go to the movies, anon?' >yes >dad comes in with car keys >looks like he had been crying, the worst i have ever seen him to this day >go to the movies >its great get millennium pikachu card >go to McDonald >happy meal and Pokemon toy >mum and dad ask how i feel >i ask why nobody came >mum says "You're special and you made them feel jealous' >dad just has a dead smile later on that night i was in bed and heard mum and dad talking. >'are we failures of parents?' >'I don't want him to grow up and think this is normal and to be sad and alone'.
: Anonymous 04/18/18(Wed)06:17:38 No.44761552 >9th birthday >finally made some friends at school >convince mum for a small party >my brothers go to my grandparents for the day 143 KB JPG >she buys a custom CatDog and TinyTeddy cake >help mum and dad put up decorations >make lolly bags >set up games >its 12 o clock when the party starts >get exited to she parents the friends i have made and told them about >1 hour passed >another >and another >gets to 4 o clock when we were going to the cinema to see pokemon the movie >tfw nobody came >mum holding back tears says >'do you still want to go to the movies, anon?' >yes >dad comes in with car keys >looks like he had been crying, the worst i have ever seen him to this day >go to the movies >its great get millennium pikachu card >go to McDonald >happy meal and Pokemon toy >mum and dad ask how i feel >i ask why nobody came >mum says "You're special and you made them feel jealous' >dad just has a dead smile later on that night i was in bed and heard mum and dad talking. >'are we failures of parents?' >'I don't want him to grow up and think this is normal and to be sad and alone'.

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Anon is an idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)11:24:33 No.867700680 Had a weird ass dream last night >on camping trip >meet this guy with a huge German Shepherd >guy is really into survival camping and only traveling with essentials >he hates how bulky rolls of toilet paper are and how they ruin his packing setup >tells me he trained his dog to retain an entire roll of toilet paper up its ass so he doesn't have to carry one 183 KB PNG >dog quietly whimpers Anyone else get dreams like this? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)11:24:33 No.867700680 Had a weird ass dream last night >on camping trip >meet this guy with a huge German Shepherd >guy is really into survival camping and only traveling with essentials >he hates how bulky rolls of toilet paper are and how they ruin his packing setup >tells me he trained his dog to retain an entire roll of toilet paper up its ass so he doesn't have to carry one 183 KB PNG >dog quietly whimpers Anyone else get dreams like this? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Hilarious At Every Size | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)19:16:41 No.57552428 @FPHate 260. 1600729145133.png 557 KB PNG >this was considered comically obese in 1990
: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)19:16:41 No.57552428 @FPHate 260. 1600729145133.png 557 KB PNG >this was considered comically obese in 1990

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Cyberpunk 2077 in 1 greentext | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)14:56:08 No.536046118 ► >>536045734 (OP) >Spend whole budget on Keanu and penisgen >Forget to actually make a game Oops
O Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)14:56:08 No.536046118 ► >>536045734 (OP) >Spend whole budget on Keanu and penisgen >Forget to actually make a game Oops

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Anon isn't a simp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:39:08 No.863546656 >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do??? 74 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:40:16 No.863546726 >>863546656 (OP) # NO OFF THE BED GIT 60 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:39:08 No.863546656 >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do??? 74 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:40:16 No.863546726 >>863546656 (OP) # NO OFF THE BED GIT 60 KB JPG

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Anon is a critique | /r/Greentext


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fucking mental bruv | /r/Greentext

Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife
Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife

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Anon is a drug dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Wait, that's illegal anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)14:28:27 No.84569165 f---.jpg 27 KB JPG >search book on libgen >not available >buy ebook from Amazon >download it and strip DRM >upload it to libgen >return the book to get the money back F--- Jewmerica.
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)14:28:27 No.84569165 f---.jpg 27 KB JPG >search book on libgen >not available >buy ebook from Amazon >download it and strip DRM >upload it to libgen >return the book to get the money back F--- Jewmerica.

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Anon can’t count | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)07:42:17 No.843687606 File: 1606994826196.png (254 KB, 996x984) >>843687557 (OP) # >people born in the year 2003 are 42 years old today
U Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)07:42:17 No.843687606 File: 1606994826196.png (254 KB, 996x984) >>843687557 (OP) # >people born in the year 2003 are 42 years old today

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He is right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit
Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit

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Anon plays Plague Inc | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous greentext #2238547524395742546(...) 08/13/18(Mon) 18:31:04 No.47484032 >be me >play some plague inc >name my disease "my a------" >mfw my a------ is spreading fast >mfw my a------ destroys 8 KB JPG humanity
: Anonymous greentext #2238547524395742546(...) 08/13/18(Mon) 18:31:04 No.47484032 >be me >play some plague inc >name my disease "my a------" >mfw my a------ is spreading fast >mfw my a------ destroys 8 KB JPG humanity

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Anon is a chef | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)08:20:40 No.102656591 45188D7700000578-0-image-a-18_1507291424887[1].jpg 53 KB JPG >Now, Cocaine >get the packet >knife, sharp >cut yes? >look at that color >rustic, simple >now, pound note >roll, tight >now this is my favorite >SNIFFF >f--- me >>102656784 # >>102658699 # >>102658907 # >>102662412 # >>102663687 #
: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)08:20:40 No.102656591 45188D7700000578-0-image-a-18_1507291424887[1].jpg 53 KB JPG >Now, Cocaine >get the packet >knife, sharp >cut yes? >look at that color >rustic, simple >now, pound note >roll, tight >now this is my favorite >SNIFFF >f--- me >>102656784 # >>102658699 # >>102658907 # >>102662412 # >>102663687 #

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Anon wants to be a doctor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)11:47:14 No.864993103 flat,800x800,075,f.jpg 80 KB JPG doctor has to be the easiest job in the world >"hey doc something is wrong with me" >"go to a different doctor" >cash check
: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)11:47:14 No.864993103 flat,800x800,075,f.jpg 80 KB JPG doctor has to be the easiest job in the world >"hey doc something is wrong with me" >"go to a different doctor" >cash check

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Anon is sad that women don't want him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)02:24:21 No.66392533 >7 billion woman in the world >none of them want me 123 KB GIF : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)02:27:01 No.66392551 >>66392533 (OP) # >7 billion kmao 415 KB GIF : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)02:27:19 No.66392557 >>66392533 (OP) # Its because of your terrible math skills. : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)02:27:30 No.66392559 >>66392533 (OP) # >7 billion woman in the world 121 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)02:24:21 No.66392533 >7 billion woman in the world >none of them want me 123 KB GIF : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)02:27:01 No.66392551 >>66392533 (OP) # >7 billion kmao 415 KB GIF : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)02:27:19 No.66392557 >>66392533 (OP) # Its because of your terrible math skills. : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)02:27:30 No.66392559 >>66392533 (OP) # >7 billion woman in the world 121 KB JPG

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Anon posts on Reddit. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Reddit is f------ retarded 04/05/18(Thu)12:14:50 No.44425901 >be me >post actual news in reddit first >get downvoted to hell for "misleading title", insted of fixing it, the mods remove it >someone reposts it >a few hours later >he gets over one thousand upvotes, while i got 6 12 KB JPG >call him retarded a------ >permanent ban
: Anonymous Reddit is f------ retarded 04/05/18(Thu)12:14:50 No.44425901 >be me >post actual news in reddit first >get downvoted to hell for "misleading title", insted of fixing it, the mods remove it >someone reposts it >a few hours later >he gets over one thousand upvotes, while i got 6 12 KB JPG >call him retarded a------ >permanent ban

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When you spit in the face of God | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- >ask endocrinologist if it will ever stop >he says no and that i need laser 408 KB JPG >it costs a fortune Wat do /b/? : Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP
: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- >ask endocrinologist if it will ever stop >he says no and that i need laser 408 KB JPG >it costs a fortune Wat do /b/? : Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP

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7000 members and now I'm officially 1 ton | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.842375793 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.842375793 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG

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Anon dislikes Indian stereotypes | /r/Greentext


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