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Anon makes a powerpoint | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 КВ PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 КВ PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon's classmate knows the rules | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)23:49:19 No.867857894 > Be me > Go to primary school assembly in Year 5 (Britbong land) > One day the head teacher is asking us about school rules > Autistic kid puts hand up > Head teacher looks thrilled he can join the discussion 40 KB JPG > "Yes, what rule did you remember?" > "Don't say n-----" > Entire school hall loses it > He has to be taken outside > Head teacher can't carry on, everyone's laughing > Has to abandon assembly Sometimes it's better to assess the situation
Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)23:49:19 No.867857894 > Be me > Go to primary school assembly in Year 5 (Britbong land) > One day the head teacher is asking us about school rules > Autistic kid puts hand up > Head teacher looks thrilled he can join the discussion 40 KB JPG > "Yes, what rule did you remember?" > "Don't say n-----" > Entire school hall loses it > He has to be taken outside > Head teacher can't carry on, everyone's laughing > Has to abandon assembly Sometimes it's better to assess the situation

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Anon Believes that He Can Fool a Trained Nurse with a Plastic Arm | /r/Greentext


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And on that bombshell… | /r/Greentext


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Anon doesn’t know how to make food | /r/Greentext


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Anons granddad is proud | /r/Greentext


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Wtf did i just read | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769031659 32 perccel ezelőt •.. Just got laid >Be Me >16 >Yesterday >At School hanging out with group of friends >See Stacy I like and get a boner >Put d--- in waistband like so many of you seem to 5,9 kB JPG recommend ItWorks.exe >Stacy comes up to me, "Oh, Hey Anon." >Gives me hug >5'5" and she is closer to 5' 10" >Have to reach up a little >D--- pops out through the top and rubs her stomach >Wasn't expecting it and instantly nut on her stomach >She was wearing a crop trop >She pulls away somewhat slowly to reveal a fat nut on her stomach >She gags and runs away nearly crying >Friends all look at me in disgust >I run off campus and am posting this from a local Dennys See Ya Later Virgins 3 REPLIES 5 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 769031659 32 perccel ezelőt •.. Just got laid >Be Me >16 >Yesterday >At School hanging out with group of friends >See Stacy I like and get a boner >Put d--- in waistband like so many of you seem to 5,9 kB JPG recommend ItWorks.exe >Stacy comes up to me, "Oh, Hey Anon." >Gives me hug >5'5" and she is closer to 5' 10" >Have to reach up a little >D--- pops out through the top and rubs her stomach >Wasn't expecting it and instantly nut on her stomach >She was wearing a crop trop >She pulls away somewhat slowly to reveal a fat nut on her stomach >She gags and runs away nearly crying >Friends all look at me in disgust >I run off campus and am posting this from a local Dennys See Ya Later Virgins 3 REPLIES 5 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon’s little brother goes to the school talent show. | /r/Greentext

Holy f--- do I have a story for you /b/ros. > be my little brother > Be at school > tard in his class has crush on 77 KB JPG 2/10 landwhale this f------ spastic hatches master plan to seduce land whale. > let's call the landwhale Katie > tard decides to go on the school talent show to sing her a song > but not just any song... > be day of talent show > tard gets last act > waddles his fat f------ ass up on stage > Gucci gang starts playing > tard opens his mouth > KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG > retard sings this, and only this for 3 minutes straight. > crowd and little bro in utter disbelief retard finishes and asks landwhale to come up on stage with him > landwhale comes up on stage grabs the mic and tells him to f--- right off Kek.mpeg > tard runs off crying and hasn't been seen since > tfw this was a week ago > tfw when he's either killed himself or is preparing his to shoot up the school > mfw
Holy f--- do I have a story for you /b/ros. > be my little brother > Be at school > tard in his class has crush on 77 KB JPG 2/10 landwhale this f------ spastic hatches master plan to seduce land whale. > let's call the landwhale Katie > tard decides to go on the school talent show to sing her a song > but not just any song... > be day of talent show > tard gets last act > waddles his fat f------ ass up on stage > Gucci gang starts playing > tard opens his mouth > KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG > retard sings this, and only this for 3 minutes straight. > crowd and little bro in utter disbelief retard finishes and asks landwhale to come up on stage with him > landwhale comes up on stage grabs the mic and tells him to f--- right off Kek.mpeg > tard runs off crying and hasn't been seen since > tfw this was a week ago > tfw when he's either killed himself or is preparing his to shoot up the school > mfw

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Therapy session | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:21:50 No.66393927 therapist.jpg 207 KB JPG >"So anon, when were you last sexually active?" >"No need to be shy. One? Two months ago, maybe?"
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:21:50 No.66393927 therapist.jpg 207 KB JPG >"So anon, when were you last sexually active?" >"No need to be shy. One? Two months ago, maybe?"

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Anon’s 9th birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/18(Wed)06:17:38 No.44761552 >9th birthday >finally made some friends at school >convince mum for a small party >my brothers go to my grandparents for the day 143 KB JPG >she buys a custom CatDog and TinyTeddy cake >help mum and dad put up decorations >make lolly bags >set up games >its 12 o clock when the party starts >get exited to she parents the friends i have made and told them about >1 hour passed >another >and another >gets to 4 o clock when we were going to the cinema to see pokemon the movie >tfw nobody came >mum holding back tears says >'do you still want to go to the movies, anon?' >yes >dad comes in with car keys >looks like he had been crying, the worst i have ever seen him to this day >go to the movies >its great get millennium pikachu card >go to McDonald >happy meal and Pokemon toy >mum and dad ask how i feel >i ask why nobody came >mum says "You're special and you made them feel jealous' >dad just has a dead smile later on that night i was in bed and heard mum and dad talking. >'are we failures of parents?' >'I don't want him to grow up and think this is normal and to be sad and alone'.
: Anonymous 04/18/18(Wed)06:17:38 No.44761552 >9th birthday >finally made some friends at school >convince mum for a small party >my brothers go to my grandparents for the day 143 KB JPG >she buys a custom CatDog and TinyTeddy cake >help mum and dad put up decorations >make lolly bags >set up games >its 12 o clock when the party starts >get exited to she parents the friends i have made and told them about >1 hour passed >another >and another >gets to 4 o clock when we were going to the cinema to see pokemon the movie >tfw nobody came >mum holding back tears says >'do you still want to go to the movies, anon?' >yes >dad comes in with car keys >looks like he had been crying, the worst i have ever seen him to this day >go to the movies >its great get millennium pikachu card >go to McDonald >happy meal and Pokemon toy >mum and dad ask how i feel >i ask why nobody came >mum says "You're special and you made them feel jealous' >dad just has a dead smile later on that night i was in bed and heard mum and dad talking. >'are we failures of parents?' >'I don't want him to grow up and think this is normal and to be sad and alone'.

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Anon is an idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)11:24:33 No.867700680 Had a weird ass dream last night >on camping trip >meet this guy with a huge German Shepherd >guy is really into survival camping and only traveling with essentials >he hates how bulky rolls of toilet paper are and how they ruin his packing setup >tells me he trained his dog to retain an entire roll of toilet paper up its ass so he doesn't have to carry one 183 KB PNG >dog quietly whimpers Anyone else get dreams like this? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)11:24:33 No.867700680 Had a weird ass dream last night >on camping trip >meet this guy with a huge German Shepherd >guy is really into survival camping and only traveling with essentials >he hates how bulky rolls of toilet paper are and how they ruin his packing setup >tells me he trained his dog to retain an entire roll of toilet paper up its ass so he doesn't have to carry one 183 KB PNG >dog quietly whimpers Anyone else get dreams like this? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Hilarious At Every Size | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)19:16:41 No.57552428 @FPHate 260. 1600729145133.png 557 KB PNG >this was considered comically obese in 1990
: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)19:16:41 No.57552428 @FPHate 260. 1600729145133.png 557 KB PNG >this was considered comically obese in 1990

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Cyberpunk 2077 in 1 greentext | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)14:56:08 No.536046118 ► >>536045734 (OP) >Spend whole budget on Keanu and penisgen >Forget to actually make a game Oops
O Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)14:56:08 No.536046118 ► >>536045734 (OP) >Spend whole budget on Keanu and penisgen >Forget to actually make a game Oops

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Anon isn't a simp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:39:08 No.863546656 >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do??? 74 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:40:16 No.863546726 >>863546656 (OP) # NO OFF THE BED GIT 60 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:39:08 No.863546656 >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do??? 74 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:40:16 No.863546726 >>863546656 (OP) # NO OFF THE BED GIT 60 KB JPG

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Anon is a critique | /r/Greentext


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fucking mental bruv | /r/Greentext

Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife
Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife

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Anon is a drug dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Wait, that's illegal anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)14:28:27 No.84569165 f---.jpg 27 KB JPG >search book on libgen >not available >buy ebook from Amazon >download it and strip DRM >upload it to libgen >return the book to get the money back F--- Jewmerica.
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)14:28:27 No.84569165 f---.jpg 27 KB JPG >search book on libgen >not available >buy ebook from Amazon >download it and strip DRM >upload it to libgen >return the book to get the money back F--- Jewmerica.

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Anon can’t count | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)07:42:17 No.843687606 File: 1606994826196.png (254 KB, 996x984) >>843687557 (OP) # >people born in the year 2003 are 42 years old today
U Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)07:42:17 No.843687606 File: 1606994826196.png (254 KB, 996x984) >>843687557 (OP) # >people born in the year 2003 are 42 years old today

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