Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon goes on patrol | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon plays fart tennis | /r/Greentext

>Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not 58 KB JPG stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >It's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus
>Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not 58 KB JPG stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >It's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font happy

Anon relies on youtube for education | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)09:16:12 No.62356259 >read provided course math textbook >be hopelessly confused, not even begin to understand >go to 2 hr class, lose track in 5 minutes 267 KB PNG >go home and copy paste homework instructions into youtube >understand how to do it in 5 minutes
: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)09:16:12 No.62356259 >read provided course math textbook >be hopelessly confused, not even begin to understand >go to 2 hr class, lose track in 5 minutes 267 KB PNG >go home and copy paste homework instructions into youtube >understand how to do it in 5 minutes

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant font

Anon has a folder | /r/Greentext

e: beub jpg (138 KB, 1080x720) O Anonymous 1 11/24/14(Mon)19:10:58 No.33711472 >>33711584 >>33711619 Can I seduce scandinavian girls ?I wll go for holydays. Pic is me Thanks. O Anonymous File: foldert.png (670 KB, 1312x876) 11/24/14(Mon)19:19:34 No.33711808 33711842 >33711891 Doesn't matter. You're in my folder now. Araan Agerare: Arpvu: pert As er! Atalisn. htiland ns or Aa tule: ilen At or Talg Eruh Elurs k. 1 L.de LI tila ik. in E LA anea Caad n Caradar5 :rids Cals 2 Cole na Certi i aracar renda ronda abka rares r Ge lan arl n-in kvall F 1 oana ia n in In Kèpab kebab French 7 French 8 French Tunisian French Irish Israel 2 Israel Italian 2 O Anonymous 11/24/14(Mon)19:21:50 No.33711902 ► Anonymous Ea 11/24/14(Mon)19:20:22 No.33711842 >>33711808 >>33711808 thats normal This is very unsettling. 國 d G 園
e: beub jpg (138 KB, 1080x720) O Anonymous 1 11/24/14(Mon)19:10:58 No.33711472 >>33711584 >>33711619 Can I seduce scandinavian girls ?I wll go for holydays. Pic is me Thanks. O Anonymous File: foldert.png (670 KB, 1312x876) 11/24/14(Mon)19:19:34 No.33711808 33711842 >33711891 Doesn't matter. You're in my folder now. Araan Agerare: Arpvu: pert As er! Atalisn. htiland ns or Aa tule: ilen At or Talg Eruh Elurs k. 1 L.de LI tila ik. in E LA anea Caad n Caradar5 :rids Cals 2 Cole na Certi i aracar renda ronda abka rares r Ge lan arl n-in kvall F 1 oana ia n in In Kèpab kebab French 7 French 8 French Tunisian French Irish Israel 2 Israel Italian 2 O Anonymous 11/24/14(Mon)19:21:50 No.33711902 ► Anonymous Ea 11/24/14(Mon)19:20:22 No.33711842 >>33711808 >>33711808 thats normal This is very unsettling. 國 d G 園

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext facial expression white font screenshot line red material property

Anon plays No Mans Sky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/18(Fri)16:59:41 No.47105985 > Play No Man's Sky > Warp to a new system > Get achievement > Discover a new planet > Get achievement > Refuel warp drive > Get achievement 28 KB JPG > Walk 10 feet > Get achievement > Shove dildo up my ass > Get achievement Is this what it's like to be a tard?
: Anonymous 07/27/18(Fri)16:59:41 No.47105985 > Play No Man's Sky > Warp to a new system > Get achievement > Discover a new planet > Get achievement > Refuel warp drive > Get achievement 28 KB JPG > Walk 10 feet > Get achievement > Shove dildo up my ass > Get achievement Is this what it's like to be a tard?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant font happy

Gollum mogs Tolkien | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)19:32:57 No.159905858 "Have you watched The Lord of The Rings, man? Yeah? If you remember, there's this little dude, Gollum, he's a f-----' genius, man. Eats nothing but raw meat, fish; dude's got his paleo diet down to an art, man. Bear-crawls everywhere, always swimming, rock- climbing; dude's athletic as f---. He should not look as scrawny as he does, he should be one scary- looking m-----------, all muscle. No offense to Tolkien, but he doesn't know s--- about fitness. I've started eating live fish and bear crawling everywhere, and I gotta tell ya I feel incredible; best shape l've ever been in. I'm telling you, man, Gollum's like a 174 KB JPG Hobbit chimpanzee."
: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)19:32:57 No.159905858 "Have you watched The Lord of The Rings, man? Yeah? If you remember, there's this little dude, Gollum, he's a f-----' genius, man. Eats nothing but raw meat, fish; dude's got his paleo diet down to an art, man. Bear-crawls everywhere, always swimming, rock- climbing; dude's athletic as f---. He should not look as scrawny as he does, he should be one scary- looking m-----------, all muscle. No offense to Tolkien, but he doesn't know s--- about fitness. I've started eating live fish and bear crawling everywhere, and I gotta tell ya I feel incredible; best shape l've ever been in. I'm telling you, man, Gollum's like a 174 KB JPG Hobbit chimpanzee."

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is mildly interested. | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [O Auto] 0/0/1/? File: aDgwwxx_460swp.jpg (39 KB, 460x283) O Anonymous 12/01/21(Wed)03:47:15 No.867735362 >be me, father of two children >mildly interested in IT, so I have some basic skills when it comes to networks and stuff >go through my routers settings, and find an option to protocol all in- and outgoing packages >google what this is, find tutorial about wire shark, and how to read out packages >get things started, make some testing by myself, things work out, I think its cool >ffw some weeks >never deactivated protocol >the external drive i linked up to our LAN slowly gets full, I wonder why >see into it >its a complete list of who did what with which device, when, and where. >out of curiosity, I read some stuff out, expect the usual stuff like p---, youtube, and so on >well f---.exe >turns out my wife is browsing dating sites >my daughter is uploading p--- >my son is a only-fans simp >and our neighbor has an obsession with horse p--- What have I done.
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [O Auto] 0/0/1/? File: aDgwwxx_460swp.jpg (39 KB, 460x283) O Anonymous 12/01/21(Wed)03:47:15 No.867735362 >be me, father of two children >mildly interested in IT, so I have some basic skills when it comes to networks and stuff >go through my routers settings, and find an option to protocol all in- and outgoing packages >google what this is, find tutorial about wire shark, and how to read out packages >get things started, make some testing by myself, things work out, I think its cool >ffw some weeks >never deactivated protocol >the external drive i linked up to our LAN slowly gets full, I wonder why >see into it >its a complete list of who did what with which device, when, and where. >out of curiosity, I read some stuff out, expect the usual stuff like p---, youtube, and so on >well f---.exe >turns out my wife is browsing dating sites >my daughter is uploading p--- >my son is a only-fans simp >and our neighbor has an obsession with horse p--- What have I done.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant

Anon has no money | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night
U Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext nose vertebrate jaw font

Anon doesn’t wait for his food to cool | /r/Greentext

nonymous 11/07/21(Sun)23:05:33 No.660701 >put food that happens to be to0 hot in your mouth for 1 second >roof of mouth hurts for like 2 days its so f------ b-------. 47 KB JPG
nonymous 11/07/21(Sun)23:05:33 No.660701 >put food that happens to be to0 hot in your mouth for 1 second >roof of mouth hurts for like 2 days its so f------ b-------. 47 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext mouth hot burn food pain

Making it means trading crypto | /r/Greentext

File: - _sjwkFZ_400x400.jpg (28 KB, 400x400) Anonymous (ID: Ysnpi0mo ) 11/30/21(Tue)14:45:04 No.43950653 >>4395C >6 >living with mom >kissless virgin >no job >no money >dropped out of college >no drive to do anything meaningful >wasting my life playing games, masturbating and browsing /biz/ I just... wanna make it... O Anonymous (ID: Ysnpi0mo ) 11/30/21(Tue)14:47:02 No.43950709 >>43950653 (OP) >26 >> Anonymous (ID: GhoHF8Bp ) 11/30/21(Tue)14:47:14 No.43950722 >>43951311 >>43950653 (OP) >6 damn kid chill out, watch some pokemon or something you still have time
File: - _sjwkFZ_400x400.jpg (28 KB, 400x400) Anonymous (ID: Ysnpi0mo ) 11/30/21(Tue)14:45:04 No.43950653 >>4395C >6 >living with mom >kissless virgin >no job >no money >dropped out of college >no drive to do anything meaningful >wasting my life playing games, masturbating and browsing /biz/ I just... wanna make it... O Anonymous (ID: Ysnpi0mo ) 11/30/21(Tue)14:47:02 No.43950709 >>43950653 (OP) >26 >> Anonymous (ID: GhoHF8Bp ) 11/30/21(Tue)14:47:14 No.43950722 >>43951311 >>43950653 (OP) >6 damn kid chill out, watch some pokemon or something you still have time

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Bumbling buffoon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)23:24:42 No.66375312 >dude bro tinder sucks bro just use bumble >girls message first >message back >they never respond again 9 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)23:24:42 No.66375312 >dude bro tinder sucks bro just use bumble >girls message first >message back >they never respond again 9 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle font line

Anon Discovers Meme Coins | /r/Greentext

File: 15251216317.jpg (118 KB, 960x1280) O Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)16:05:46 No.867699863 >be me >22yo >learn about cryptocurrency 'meme coins' late last year >invest $50 into some absolute shitcoin called Shiba Inu in January >no idea what it was or why I was investing >sold a week later at a loss >investment would now be worth millions of $ >also me, 5 months later >addicted to the shitcoin casino >invest $50 in some garbage coin called dogebonk in May >sell it a week later at a loss >would now be worth millions of $ I think my time in this industry is over
File: 15251216317.jpg (118 KB, 960x1280) O Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)16:05:46 No.867699863 >be me >22yo >learn about cryptocurrency 'meme coins' late last year >invest $50 into some absolute shitcoin called Shiba Inu in January >no idea what it was or why I was investing >sold a week later at a loss >investment would now be worth millions of $ >also me, 5 months later >addicted to the shitcoin casino >invest $50 in some garbage coin called dogebonk in May >sell it a week later at a loss >would now be worth millions of $ I think my time in this industry is over

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant font

Anon has a great idea. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/17(Mon)15:16:10 No.749583471 Can someone please make this a movie >Stereotypical zombie movie >End of the movie has the main character being surrounded >Main character chuckles, then 71 KB JPG says some witty line >Main character then reveals that he has been wearing a mask the whole time >Underneath its patchy the pirate >"Are you ready kids?" >Patchy then proceeds to kill each zombie with his erect c--- >Movie ends
: Anonymous 10/30/17(Mon)15:16:10 No.749583471 Can someone please make this a movie >Stereotypical zombie movie >End of the movie has the main character being surrounded >Main character chuckles, then 71 KB JPG says some witty line >Main character then reveals that he has been wearing a mask the whole time >Underneath its patchy the pirate >"Are you ready kids?" >Patchy then proceeds to kill each zombie with his erect c--- >Movie ends

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

Flush the pipes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)10:22:54 No.867697921 what's happening to me anons? > be me > 8 minutes ago > haven't had a s--- in 3 days > decide to take probiotics to help things along 87 KB PNG > drink my morning cup of coffee > instant stomach cramps > barely get on the bowl in time > crap that comes out of me is both hard and soupy > have to flush three times while sitting on the can because it kept filling up > the s--- is blacker than Usain Bolt's skin > weirdly doesn't smell bad I've been eating more salads and making better decisions with food... should i just go back to eating hot wings and drinking?
: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)10:22:54 No.867697921 what's happening to me anons? > be me > 8 minutes ago > haven't had a s--- in 3 days > decide to take probiotics to help things along 87 KB PNG > drink my morning cup of coffee > instant stomach cramps > barely get on the bowl in time > crap that comes out of me is both hard and soupy > have to flush three times while sitting on the can because it kept filling up > the s--- is blacker than Usain Bolt's skin > weirdly doesn't smell bad I've been eating more salads and making better decisions with food... should i just go back to eating hot wings and drinking?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon doesn't like nazis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 09/05/20(Sat)20:13:57 No.129949107 >Bernhard Förster, a German nationalist and his wife Elisabeth Förster-Nietzsche (sister of the philosopher), tried to create an A-----only colony, Nueva Germania, in Paraguay in 1887, to put to practice utopian ideas about the superiority of the A---- race. It was the declared dream of Förster to create an area of Germanic development, far 29 KB JPG from the influence of Jews, whom he reviled. The colony's development was hampered by the harshness of the environment, a lack of proper supplies and an overconfidence of the colonist's own supposed a---- supremacy. Most settlers soon died of starvation and disease. Those who survived malaria and the sand-flea infections rushed to flee Nueva Germania. Those who stayed, convinced of their founder's teachings, married among themselves as to preserve the racial stock. To this day the consequences of inbreeding are visible, with high incidence of mental problems and physical malformations.The colony failed within 2 years, and Förster ended up committing suicide. So this is the power of the masterrace?
: Anonymous E 09/05/20(Sat)20:13:57 No.129949107 >Bernhard Förster, a German nationalist and his wife Elisabeth Förster-Nietzsche (sister of the philosopher), tried to create an A-----only colony, Nueva Germania, in Paraguay in 1887, to put to practice utopian ideas about the superiority of the A---- race. It was the declared dream of Förster to create an area of Germanic development, far 29 KB JPG from the influence of Jews, whom he reviled. The colony's development was hampered by the harshness of the environment, a lack of proper supplies and an overconfidence of the colonist's own supposed a---- supremacy. Most settlers soon died of starvation and disease. Those who survived malaria and the sand-flea infections rushed to flee Nueva Germania. Those who stayed, convinced of their founder's teachings, married among themselves as to preserve the racial stock. To this day the consequences of inbreeding are visible, with high incidence of mental problems and physical malformations.The colony failed within 2 years, and Förster ended up committing suicide. So this is the power of the masterrace?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon wants a computer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)03:47:51 No.66360068 I spent 2,200$ on computer parts just so I could spend four and a half hours trying to build it like they do in the YouTube tutorials where it just goes perfectly and they do it in ten minutes only to give up, put everything away, and just lay in bed feeling like s---. It took me a long time to save up for all this, wait for it all to come in, and now | have to wait to be able to afford some PC shop ripping me off and f------ me over, then I have to wait for them 193 KB PNG to actually do it. I just feel f------ depressed and I have no friends or social media so I'm venting about it here. F--- everyone who says it's just like Legos and you just snap everything in. None of the screwholes line up, I have tons of random f------ wires all over the places and I have no idea what the f--- they do, my power supply has a bunch of f------ s--- attached to it and I don't even think it goes into anything, I can't even get the GPU to snap into the motherboard and now the entire time I have to wait extra, to pay extra, to finally have a computer, I have to worry the entire time that I broke some X00 dollar part. This was supposed to be the night. I was supposed to be up all night setting up the OS and downloading games and play all night and watch p--- on a big screen. I'm so frustrated. I feel crushed, this was supposed to be the big night.
: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)03:47:51 No.66360068 I spent 2,200$ on computer parts just so I could spend four and a half hours trying to build it like they do in the YouTube tutorials where it just goes perfectly and they do it in ten minutes only to give up, put everything away, and just lay in bed feeling like s---. It took me a long time to save up for all this, wait for it all to come in, and now | have to wait to be able to afford some PC shop ripping me off and f------ me over, then I have to wait for them 193 KB PNG to actually do it. I just feel f------ depressed and I have no friends or social media so I'm venting about it here. F--- everyone who says it's just like Legos and you just snap everything in. None of the screwholes line up, I have tons of random f------ wires all over the places and I have no idea what the f--- they do, my power supply has a bunch of f------ s--- attached to it and I don't even think it goes into anything, I can't even get the GPU to snap into the motherboard and now the entire time I have to wait extra, to pay extra, to finally have a computer, I have to worry the entire time that I broke some X00 dollar part. This was supposed to be the night. I was supposed to be up all night setting up the OS and downloading games and play all night and watch p--- on a big screen. I'm so frustrated. I feel crushed, this was supposed to be the big night.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon watches Breaking Bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:03:51 No.62533689 >be me >watch breaking bad for the first time >decide to try meth because they make it look and sound too delicious >get addicted >lose friends, family, gf, basicallt everything i cared for Is there any way i could sue the producers 8 KB JPG of the show for getting me addicted to meth? : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:06:43 No.62533712 >>62533689 (OP)# >>get addicted Lmao you stupid f---. 1st rule of meth use: don't get addicted >>62533759 # : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:07:18 No.62533716 >>62533689 (OP) # >decide to try meth lol you f------ idiot
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:03:51 No.62533689 >be me >watch breaking bad for the first time >decide to try meth because they make it look and sound too delicious >get addicted >lose friends, family, gf, basicallt everything i cared for Is there any way i could sue the producers 8 KB JPG of the show for getting me addicted to meth? : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:06:43 No.62533712 >>62533689 (OP)# >>get addicted Lmao you stupid f---. 1st rule of meth use: don't get addicted >>62533759 # : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:07:18 No.62533716 >>62533689 (OP) # >decide to try meth lol you f------ idiot

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon goes to chicken shop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)19:23:04 No.16922066 & DALLAS COMTIR What the f--- is wrong with you autists? >Go to local P--- run chicken shop relatively often >Guys there start to recognise me 1.13 MB JPG >Really friendly >Random chit chat here and there >l ask about how their shift is going >They ask me about work and family >friends.jpg >Chinky virus shuts everything down and puts the country in lockdown >l grow hair out >Go to shop after lockdown lifts >Guys at the shop say I look like a bollywood hero >Start calling me Hero Bhai (brother hero? idk, bhai means brother) >tfw every time I walk in the shop one of them yells out HERO BHAI IS HERE >start getting ridiculous discounts >paying £5 for £9 worth of food and s--- >free drinks | >still called hero bhai after haircut >tfw based p--- chicken shop friends Idk why you retards run away from these kind of experiences, I don't have any friends like presumably most of you and I really appreciate talking to these guys like they're my mates. >>16922349 #
: Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)19:23:04 No.16922066 & DALLAS COMTIR What the f--- is wrong with you autists? >Go to local P--- run chicken shop relatively often >Guys there start to recognise me 1.13 MB JPG >Really friendly >Random chit chat here and there >l ask about how their shift is going >They ask me about work and family >friends.jpg >Chinky virus shuts everything down and puts the country in lockdown >l grow hair out >Go to shop after lockdown lifts >Guys at the shop say I look like a bollywood hero >Start calling me Hero Bhai (brother hero? idk, bhai means brother) >tfw every time I walk in the shop one of them yells out HERO BHAI IS HERE >start getting ridiculous discounts >paying £5 for £9 worth of food and s--- >free drinks | >still called hero bhai after haircut >tfw based p--- chicken shop friends Idk why you retards run away from these kind of experiences, I don't have any friends like presumably most of you and I really appreciate talking to these guys like they're my mates. >>16922349 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be black >piss some people off by existing feels good man feels g0od Man 71 KB JPG : Anonymous >be literally anything ever >piss off some people by existing
: Anonymous >be black >piss some people off by existing feels good man feels g0od Man 71 KB JPG : Anonymous >be literally anything ever >piss off some people by existing

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon suddenly becomes popular | /r/Greentext

>go to class today >usually people ignore me and leave me alone ar ON CARTHLL WE BE DONG ON THE BED, POOF >suddenly everyone wants to talk to me 242 KB JPG >being nice and asking how my weekend was, how my family is >qt girl offered me a piece of her granola bar They think l'm a potential school shooter don't they?
>go to class today >usually people ignore me and leave me alone ar ON CARTHLL WE BE DONG ON THE BED, POOF >suddenly everyone wants to talk to me 242 KB JPG >being nice and asking how my weekend was, how my family is >qt girl offered me a piece of her granola bar They think l'm a potential school shooter don't they?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy font