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anon blames his eye colour for not being attractive rather than his 600 pounds of fat on him | /r/Greentext

File: db4.jpg (23 KB, 600x439) O Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)17:58:59 No.66312343 [Reply >one shot at life >brown eyes + 13 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)20:27:17 No.66313983 >>66312934 >>66312343(OP) This. No one cares. Ignore the retard
File: db4.jpg (23 KB, 600x439) O Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)17:58:59 No.66312343 [Reply >one shot at life >brown eyes + 13 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)20:27:17 No.66313983 >>66312934 >>66312343(OP) This. No one cares. Ignore the retard

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Anon tries nofap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)8:40:57 No.66318490 >Be me, fap too much >Decide to stop and make an oath to myself that no matter what, my next nut will be inside a woman >This goal actually makes me feel good enough and motivated enough, geniuely belive this is what 156 KB JPG l'll do for real >Mfw 52 days and still nothing Where is the increased woman attention bros? Where is the increased attractiveness and energy? You didn't lie to me, did you?
: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)8:40:57 No.66318490 >Be me, fap too much >Decide to stop and make an oath to myself that no matter what, my next nut will be inside a woman >This goal actually makes me feel good enough and motivated enough, geniuely belive this is what 156 KB JPG l'll do for real >Mfw 52 days and still nothing Where is the increased woman attention bros? Where is the increased attractiveness and energy? You didn't lie to me, did you?

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Anon lives in the big city | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

Board /b/- Random v Settings Home Anonymous (ID: 86CV+14z 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test 38 KB JPG for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot
Board /b/- Random v Settings Home Anonymous (ID: 86CV+14z 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test 38 KB JPG for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot

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Anon is a good guy. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: hBFWLn+K) 07/08/14(Tue)13:34:57 No.555440513 File: 1125152.large.jpg (20 KB, 443x267) >>555440756 >>555440864 I am constantly doing random acts of kindness for strangers and random ppl in my life. I've been at it for 6 years now. This is my craziest encounter so far: >meet 19 yo chick at my work > she is slightly chubby and just totally socially awkward > we talk for a whilel >I am overly nice as usual even though I have no attraction to her > she talks about how guys are stupid >" I'm not stupid " I reply > yeah but you're not into me > she was right. She was a solid 4/10 >I cinge a little as I say "I think you're beautiful " > she turns bright red and is speechless >l ask for # and text her the next day >I gather from her texts that she is a beta kissless virgin > I take her out to eat at one of the more expensive restaurants in town > get her back to her house and she says thanks real awkwardly and starts to exit my car >I grab her arm and pull her in for a kiss while groping at her fat t------ >"can I come inside " > no anon muh grandma is waiting up for me > cool can I meet her > she finally gives in > granny loves me > she tells me funny stories while her land whale granddaughter sits there in embarrassment > we eventually make it up to her room > she was extremely nervous but I get her totally naked and just f--- the f------ s--- out of her in every part of her bedroom > she stops me and says shouldn't we take a break, I think I can hear my granddaughter crying downstairs. It was a good. It felt great knowing I did some good in this world
Anonymous (ID: hBFWLn+K) 07/08/14(Tue)13:34:57 No.555440513 File: 1125152.large.jpg (20 KB, 443x267) >>555440756 >>555440864 I am constantly doing random acts of kindness for strangers and random ppl in my life. I've been at it for 6 years now. This is my craziest encounter so far: >meet 19 yo chick at my work > she is slightly chubby and just totally socially awkward > we talk for a whilel >I am overly nice as usual even though I have no attraction to her > she talks about how guys are stupid >" I'm not stupid " I reply > yeah but you're not into me > she was right. She was a solid 4/10 >I cinge a little as I say "I think you're beautiful " > she turns bright red and is speechless >l ask for # and text her the next day >I gather from her texts that she is a beta kissless virgin > I take her out to eat at one of the more expensive restaurants in town > get her back to her house and she says thanks real awkwardly and starts to exit my car >I grab her arm and pull her in for a kiss while groping at her fat t------ >"can I come inside " > no anon muh grandma is waiting up for me > cool can I meet her > she finally gives in > granny loves me > she tells me funny stories while her land whale granddaughter sits there in embarrassment > we eventually make it up to her room > she was extremely nervous but I get her totally naked and just f--- the f------ s--- out of her in every part of her bedroom > she stops me and says shouldn't we take a break, I think I can hear my granddaughter crying downstairs. It was a good. It felt great knowing I did some good in this world

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Anon meets a sped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)16:38:30 No.867208905 >be me >In highschool class >Sit next to open door >About this time every day, special forces (part of the sped brigade) passes by >Doing work with head down >See shadow out of the corner of my eye >Look up.exe unny.co 37 KB JPG >Sped with harness looming over me ready to pounce >Fear.mp3 >Wrangler walks in "sorry about that" >People laughing >MFW Anyone have sped encounters?
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)16:38:30 No.867208905 >be me >In highschool class >Sit next to open door >About this time every day, special forces (part of the sped brigade) passes by >Doing work with head down >See shadow out of the corner of my eye >Look up.exe unny.co 37 KB JPG >Sped with harness looming over me ready to pounce >Fear.mp3 >Wrangler walks in "sorry about that" >People laughing >MFW Anyone have sped encounters?

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Anon taxt redtext | /r/Greentext


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Anon learns history | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:36:34 No.867442497 nineteenth century european revolutionaries be like >Don't give women rights >Make their national symbol a woman mfw european revolutionaries were retarded
O Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:36:34 No.867442497 nineteenth century european revolutionaries be like >Don't give women rights >Make their national symbol a woman mfw european revolutionaries were retarded

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Anon Meets Mia Khalifa | /r/Greentext

File: mkultra.jpg (126 KB, 1024x1024) U Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)19:46:06 No.867467771 >>867469002 >>867469072 The time I met a pornstar IRL. >l was going to Chipotle when I saw Mia Khalifa putting in an order. >Had to look twice to be sure and it was definitely her. >I was a few people behind her in line, and kind of anxious to at least say hi. >That w---- ordered so much food. A burrito and tacos. >On top of that I think a salad as if that made a difference. >Ready to put in my order now - just waiting for the person in front of me. >Make it quick so I can try to "accidentally" bump into Mia. >I do, then just say something stupid like "oh hi, you look familiar", like an idiot. >She just awkwardly looks at me and walks away. >Stupid bitch. >I go sit down to eat and think of another way, noticing she's also sitting and eating. >Got it - I'll just be direct and go tell her I jerked it to her p---. Already got reject anyway. >Unfettered, I creepily watch to try and keep eating at the same pace. >Eagerly watching her slide a hot burrito in her mouth, I get a slight stiffy. >So f------ hot, but I try to contain myself. >She has now moved on to her tacos. >That's it, she's getting closer to finishing her food. >How will I get her to like me? I'm still thinking. >Easy, just stick to the plan! Be direct. I tell myself. >You can do this. >Never forget the plan. >Even if you aren't feeling confident, don't let it show. >Very nervous now, and she's almost done with her salad. >Every second closer to me going full retard. >Ready for this, I get up slowly to throw my trash away. >Mia is doing the same and getting ready to walk out. >l'm getting close to doing the same. >She's finally walking out and I start to follow. >She holds the door for me."ohshit.jpg" >Her hand touches mine by accident. >Urethra is throbbing. >Hi, Mia, I've seen some of your work and it's great. You got a boyfriend? Sorry if I'm creeping you out. She says "Yeah I do have one and you kinda are" - then I tell her "whatever, I bet he doesn't even kiss you" and autistically walk way.
File: mkultra.jpg (126 KB, 1024x1024) U Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)19:46:06 No.867467771 >>867469002 >>867469072 The time I met a pornstar IRL. >l was going to Chipotle when I saw Mia Khalifa putting in an order. >Had to look twice to be sure and it was definitely her. >I was a few people behind her in line, and kind of anxious to at least say hi. >That w---- ordered so much food. A burrito and tacos. >On top of that I think a salad as if that made a difference. >Ready to put in my order now - just waiting for the person in front of me. >Make it quick so I can try to "accidentally" bump into Mia. >I do, then just say something stupid like "oh hi, you look familiar", like an idiot. >She just awkwardly looks at me and walks away. >Stupid bitch. >I go sit down to eat and think of another way, noticing she's also sitting and eating. >Got it - I'll just be direct and go tell her I jerked it to her p---. Already got reject anyway. >Unfettered, I creepily watch to try and keep eating at the same pace. >Eagerly watching her slide a hot burrito in her mouth, I get a slight stiffy. >So f------ hot, but I try to contain myself. >She has now moved on to her tacos. >That's it, she's getting closer to finishing her food. >How will I get her to like me? I'm still thinking. >Easy, just stick to the plan! Be direct. I tell myself. >You can do this. >Never forget the plan. >Even if you aren't feeling confident, don't let it show. >Very nervous now, and she's almost done with her salad. >Every second closer to me going full retard. >Ready for this, I get up slowly to throw my trash away. >Mia is doing the same and getting ready to walk out. >l'm getting close to doing the same. >She's finally walking out and I start to follow. >She holds the door for me."ohshit.jpg" >Her hand touches mine by accident. >Urethra is throbbing. >Hi, Mia, I've seen some of your work and it's great. You got a boyfriend? Sorry if I'm creeping you out. She says "Yeah I do have one and you kinda are" - then I tell her "whatever, I bet he doesn't even kiss you" and autistically walk way.

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Reddit anon is disappointed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:23:13 No.66310344 >be me, redditard >bored one day so go on 4chan >it's just a bunch of creeps, retards, pedos and depressed coomers 190 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:23:13 No.66310344 >be me, redditard >bored one day so go on 4chan >it's just a bunch of creeps, retards, pedos and depressed coomers 190 KB JPG

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Anon doesn’t like Japan | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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Anon works in tech | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)20:10:36 No.867465928 > Placed 3rd in international collegiate chemical engineering competition. > Increased profits by 12% at a coffee factory. > Automated lidar manufacturing at a very well funded self-driving car 50 KB PNG company. > Now I upgrade computers to Win10 from XP. How do you deal with knowing that you've peaked and it's all downhill from here? 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)20:10:36 No.867465928 > Placed 3rd in international collegiate chemical engineering competition. > Increased profits by 12% at a coffee factory. > Automated lidar manufacturing at a very well funded self-driving car 50 KB PNG company. > Now I upgrade computers to Win10 from XP. How do you deal with knowing that you've peaked and it's all downhill from here? 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon has a stuffy nose | /r/Greentext


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Anon uses the bathroom | /r/Greentext


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Anon is unhappy with his name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:07:47 No.66253240 >tfw I remembered the time I went over to my friend's house after school and started masturbating to p--- on his computer in front of him and his girlfriend "because I was horny" 48 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:07:47 No.66253240 >tfw I remembered the time I went over to my friend's house after school and started masturbating to p--- on his computer in front of him and his girlfriend "because I was horny" 48 KB PNG

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he fucking shit on his cock | /r/Greentext

File: aB0qBz1_700b.jpg (100 KB, 700x2497) Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)11:53:56 No.845374686 >>845374748 >>845374776 >>845374789 >>845374833 >>845374904 I fuckeda trap and regret it >meet fren from discord >we live near eachother >hes a trap >we get super close and start meeting up >one night we start drinking >one thing leads to another and we're getting handsy >he goes to the bathroom to "prep" >he comes back, im diamonds slide my d--- in >feels like a ring around my d--- >eh it feels ok for me >Start pounding away no wrap >hes moaning >pull out my d--- >LITERAL WATÉRY SHIŤ ON MY C--- >S--- has mixed with the Lube and is now leaking out of His ass >it fills the room with a Strong smell of S---- >He leaked poop all over my bed >I run to the bathroom to vomit >*PUKE* >my d--- is still semi hard >look down at it >'oh my f------ god" >tiny small bits of white string on my d--- >Tiny small bits of White String moving ALL OVER MY D--- >kicked that mentally ill freak out of my Flat >spend 3 hours in the shower Anonymous 01./21/21(Thu)11:56:55 No.845374776 >>845374686 (OP) Ha. You got ass worms on your pp
File: aB0qBz1_700b.jpg (100 KB, 700x2497) Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)11:53:56 No.845374686 >>845374748 >>845374776 >>845374789 >>845374833 >>845374904 I fuckeda trap and regret it >meet fren from discord >we live near eachother >hes a trap >we get super close and start meeting up >one night we start drinking >one thing leads to another and we're getting handsy >he goes to the bathroom to "prep" >he comes back, im diamonds slide my d--- in >feels like a ring around my d--- >eh it feels ok for me >Start pounding away no wrap >hes moaning >pull out my d--- >LITERAL WATÉRY SHIŤ ON MY C--- >S--- has mixed with the Lube and is now leaking out of His ass >it fills the room with a Strong smell of S---- >He leaked poop all over my bed >I run to the bathroom to vomit >*PUKE* >my d--- is still semi hard >look down at it >'oh my f------ god" >tiny small bits of white string on my d--- >Tiny small bits of White String moving ALL OVER MY D--- >kicked that mentally ill freak out of my Flat >spend 3 hours in the shower Anonymous 01./21/21(Thu)11:56:55 No.845374776 >>845374686 (OP) Ha. You got ass worms on your pp

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Anon upsets a prostitute | /r/Greentext

>Had sex with prostitute >Seen her several times >Laying there after f------ >She says she has a question for me >Tell her to go ahead >She asks me why I pay for prostitutes >I tell her that's stupid for a prostitute to 373 KB JPG ask >She says she's curious >l tell her because women don't want me and l'm a loser >She says "that's just all in your head." >l tell her to mind her own business >She says its true >Ask her when she's leaving >She gets up and calls me a d--- >Leaves What is that bitch's problem? I didn't even say anything to her and she started prying into my business.
>Had sex with prostitute >Seen her several times >Laying there after f------ >She says she has a question for me >Tell her to go ahead >She asks me why I pay for prostitutes >I tell her that's stupid for a prostitute to 373 KB JPG ask >She says she's curious >l tell her because women don't want me and l'm a loser >She says "that's just all in your head." >l tell her to mind her own business >She says its true >Ask her when she's leaving >She gets up and calls me a d--- >Leaves What is that bitch's problem? I didn't even say anything to her and she started prying into my business.

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Ribbit, for his pleasure | /r/Greentext

No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MİB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >It's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like l'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw
No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MİB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >It's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like l'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw

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anon dindu nuffin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)21:28:01 No.9722834 File: asscryed.jpg (252 KB, 644x660) >>9722880 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.
Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)21:28:01 No.9722834 File: asscryed.jpg (252 KB, 644x660) >>9722880 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.

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