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Anon meets Bug Bro. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.
: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.

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Anon's highschool had some weird gangs, I tell you what. | /r/Greentext


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Anon found the vegans on reddit | /r/Greentext


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Anon ruins thanksgiving | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Thanksgiving dinner with the family >F--- yeah food >These potatoes are f------ drier than a nun's p---- >"Oi mom. Can ya pass the salt?" >As she hands me the salt my brain goes f------ spaghetti >"Thanks n----" >Whole table stops what they're doing and look at me >l just called my mom n---- >Nobody talks to me for the rest of the day. >Pic unrelated
>Be me >Thanksgiving dinner with the family >F--- yeah food >These potatoes are f------ drier than a nun's p---- >"Oi mom. Can ya pass the salt?" >As she hands me the salt my brain goes f------ spaghetti >"Thanks n----" >Whole table stops what they're doing and look at me >l just called my mom n---- >Nobody talks to me for the rest of the day. >Pic unrelated

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Anon Is A Problem Solver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)16:28:50 No.867395812 >My GF had a cockatiel which was a miserable p------------ to everyone except for her. >lt would also scream non-stop for attention (ear shattering) >lt would hiss at me and try to bite 102 KB JPG me anytime I was near it >lt was also extremely messy, s---- everywhere and anywhere, feathers and dander everywhere >I filled an eye dropper with anti-freeze and added a few drips into it's water until it eventually got sick and died >Life is good now, so peaceful
: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)16:28:50 No.867395812 >My GF had a cockatiel which was a miserable p------------ to everyone except for her. >lt would also scream non-stop for attention (ear shattering) >lt would hiss at me and try to bite 102 KB JPG me anytime I was near it >lt was also extremely messy, s---- everywhere and anywhere, feathers and dander everywhere >I filled an eye dropper with anti-freeze and added a few drips into it's water until it eventually got sick and died >Life is good now, so peaceful

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Anon is a theologist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)19:22:11 No.19459737 Is God a p--------? If God's not a p-------- then God would be lacking the experience of a p--------, which contradics his omniscience. Therefore, it follows that God must be a p--------.
Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)19:22:11 No.19459737 Is God a p--------? If God's not a p-------- then God would be lacking the experience of a p--------, which contradics his omniscience. Therefore, it follows that God must be a p--------.

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Anon gets a promotion | /r/Greentext

>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy
>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy

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Anon gets petty revenge | /r/Greentext

>match a girl on tinder >spend a couple of days texting and talking on the phone >plan to meet >get ghosted >she stops responding to texts 29 KB JPG >revenge time >google her and find her address >give her name and address on every spammy website I can find >she's getting so much spam mail I hate ghosters so much
>match a girl on tinder >spend a couple of days texting and talking on the phone >plan to meet >get ghosted >she stops responding to texts 29 KB JPG >revenge time >google her and find her address >give her name and address on every spammy website I can find >she's getting so much spam mail I hate ghosters so much

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Anon celebrates thanksgiving | /r/Greentext


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Anon takes an L | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous namelet thread 10/27/21(Wed)00:11:46 No.65912566 >born with a twin >parents wanted to give us similar names >twin was named logan >parents had a wide selection of L names to choose from >and they named me f------ LAROLD 83 KB PNG
: Anonymous namelet thread 10/27/21(Wed)00:11:46 No.65912566 >born with a twin >parents wanted to give us similar names >twin was named logan >parents had a wide selection of L names to choose from >and they named me f------ LAROLD 83 KB PNG

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Taste of defeat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)12:07:15 No.66295091 >be me >fat f--- >watch a video on how getting covid changes the taste of food to sewage and garbage >idea.png >next two weeks intentionally try contracting covid 8 KB JPG >some things are better left unsaid >finally catch covid >feel like s--- for a week but nothing happens to my taste buds >decide to go on a diet >buy a lot of healthy food and make my first meal at home >sesame crackers taste like nicotine >mfw
: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)12:07:15 No.66295091 >be me >fat f--- >watch a video on how getting covid changes the taste of food to sewage and garbage >idea.png >next two weeks intentionally try contracting covid 8 KB JPG >some things are better left unsaid >finally catch covid >feel like s--- for a week but nothing happens to my taste buds >decide to go on a diet >buy a lot of healthy food and make my first meal at home >sesame crackers taste like nicotine >mfw

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Anon has a cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)18:30:42 No.867382737 >Be me >Kissless virgin >Work with 7/10 qt3.14 at restaurant IDONT UNDERSTAND >We have all the same interests and we can talk for hours >Build up the courage to ask her out 82 KB PNG >After some convo we decide to meet at my place before our first date >Cleaning up apartment and suddenly door rings >Open door and invite her in >She gets eyes for my morbidly obese, probably diabetic cat >Instantly starts petting him top to bottom >The mass of cat blubber waving around would probably register on the richter scale >"Whats his name anon?" >"Bone" >"His name is bone...?" >"Yeah! Well... his full name is actually bonerhead but I just call him bone" >Asks if I'm joking >Nope.jpg >Proceed to get in an argument about cat's name?? >She keeps suggesting names and telling me what I should change it to >She's actually getting angry about this and leaves >Try texting her but am left on read >Mfw >Only bonerhead that is getting rubbed tonight is my cat Why the f--- are women like this?? I thought my cat's name was unique and funny, am I wrong /b? 17 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)18:30:42 No.867382737 >Be me >Kissless virgin >Work with 7/10 qt3.14 at restaurant IDONT UNDERSTAND >We have all the same interests and we can talk for hours >Build up the courage to ask her out 82 KB PNG >After some convo we decide to meet at my place before our first date >Cleaning up apartment and suddenly door rings >Open door and invite her in >She gets eyes for my morbidly obese, probably diabetic cat >Instantly starts petting him top to bottom >The mass of cat blubber waving around would probably register on the richter scale >"Whats his name anon?" >"Bone" >"His name is bone...?" >"Yeah! Well... his full name is actually bonerhead but I just call him bone" >Asks if I'm joking >Nope.jpg >Proceed to get in an argument about cat's name?? >She keeps suggesting names and telling me what I should change it to >She's actually getting angry about this and leaves >Try texting her but am left on read >Mfw >Only bonerhead that is getting rubbed tonight is my cat Why the f--- are women like this?? I thought my cat's name was unique and funny, am I wrong /b? 17 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is a successfull person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 790778394 Weird achievements thread >be me >never taken a s--- in school >only 5 more months until high school graduation >im going to make it 5 REPLIES O IMAGES
Anonymous 1 hour ago 790778394 Weird achievements thread >be me >never taken a s--- in school >only 5 more months until high school graduation >im going to make it 5 REPLIES O IMAGES

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Anon guessed correctly | /r/Greentext

Cyb(OR)g !FQ5AS2D/.o 04/01/15(Wed)19:08:40 No.17578453 >meet girl on website >she tells me how she isnt a girl >uh are you a trans or something? >no, im not a boy either >what are you then? 37 KB JPG >im not telling, you have to guess >mentally ill? >she instantly blocks me Felt good man. >>17578488 # >>17578540 # >>17578603 # >>17578622 # >>17578670 #
Cyb(OR)g !FQ5AS2D/.o 04/01/15(Wed)19:08:40 No.17578453 >meet girl on website >she tells me how she isnt a girl >uh are you a trans or something? >no, im not a boy either >what are you then? 37 KB JPG >im not telling, you have to guess >mentally ill? >she instantly blocks me Felt good man. >>17578488 # >>17578540 # >>17578603 # >>17578622 # >>17578670 #

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Anon was a post-modern male | /r/Greentext


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Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)00:21:45 No.66298618 >go to my doctor appointment >her assistant asks me what I'm doing for thanksgiving >tell her l'm spending it with family >asks me if she can come with me and giggles 46 KB JPG >say no >silence for rest of my time there She's been acting like a horny slut my last couple visits.
: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)00:21:45 No.66298618 >go to my doctor appointment >her assistant asks me what I'm doing for thanksgiving >tell her l'm spending it with family >asks me if she can come with me and giggles 46 KB JPG >say no >silence for rest of my time there She's been acting like a horny slut my last couple visits.

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Anon Is Ugly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)13:48:48 No.867391206 Do any of you experience this? >alright looking guy >have an attraction to women that normal people would find unattractive >l'm not talking like really ugly unattractive women 530 KB PNG >generally just like 3-6/10 Can anyone relate? : Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)13:51:10 No.867391295 >>867391206 (OP) # $100 says you are a 3-6/10 looking guy, get the f--- over yourself and go f--- them bitches. : Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)13:51:35 No.867391310 >be me >f----- >ugly too >pretend that i look good >claim i only go after ugly women >actually wanna f--- men
: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)13:48:48 No.867391206 Do any of you experience this? >alright looking guy >have an attraction to women that normal people would find unattractive >l'm not talking like really ugly unattractive women 530 KB PNG >generally just like 3-6/10 Can anyone relate? : Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)13:51:10 No.867391295 >>867391206 (OP) # $100 says you are a 3-6/10 looking guy, get the f--- over yourself and go f--- them bitches. : Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)13:51:35 No.867391310 >be me >f----- >ugly too >pretend that i look good >claim i only go after ugly women >actually wanna f--- men

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Scraping the bottom of the barrel | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)16:17:55 No.867392430 PEOPLE CAN SMELL C-- 49 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)16:17:55 No.867392430 PEOPLE CAN SMELL C-- 49 KB PNG

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Anon seeks medical advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck ina ukko >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you
: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck ina ukko >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you

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