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Anon has been brought up well | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/17/18(Thu)18:34:18 No.768883771 THE SEXUAL DEVIANT IN ALL OF US /b/, what's the most perverted thing you've ever done? I'll start. >8th grade >teacher pairs us up with random people 84 KB JPG to swap papers with to read over for homework >paired up with cutie >take her paper home that night >wrap it around c--- and masturbate with it >bust all over the page >after drying, the paper looked fine, just slightly stained >swap papers back the next day >"oh, sorry i spilt something on it" >"haha, it's ok!" What's yours?
: Anonymous 05/17/18(Thu)18:34:18 No.768883771 THE SEXUAL DEVIANT IN ALL OF US /b/, what's the most perverted thing you've ever done? I'll start. >8th grade >teacher pairs us up with random people 84 KB JPG to swap papers with to read over for homework >paired up with cutie >take her paper home that night >wrap it around c--- and masturbate with it >bust all over the page >after drying, the paper looked fine, just slightly stained >swap papers back the next day >"oh, sorry i spilt something on it" >"haha, it's ok!" What's yours?

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Anon has anxiety | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/19(Fri)19:36:48 No.51909572 >walking down the street >see another person walking in the opposite direction >oh f--- >"should i look straight, down or look them in the eyes?" >theyre getting closer >finding it harder and harder to walk normally 80 KB PNG >"will they notice the way I walk" >we pass eachother >PHEW h-------- that was nerve wracking 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/12/19(Fri)19:36:48 No.51909572 >walking down the street >see another person walking in the opposite direction >oh f--- >"should i look straight, down or look them in the eyes?" >theyre getting closer >finding it harder and harder to walk normally 80 KB PNG >"will they notice the way I walk" >we pass eachother >PHEW h-------- that was nerve wracking 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon is a great friend | /r/Greentext


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Hello neighbor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)22:45:44 No.66189813 >sister and I buy house together >former owners turned it into multi generational home >I live on the second floor and have a bathroom bedroom kitchen and living room 4 KB PNG >sister has pretty much the same but a dining room and an office >l work ungodly hours (56-80hrs a week between my main job and volunteering) >sister goes around and meets the neighbors, married couple on one side old stoner lady on the other and we have family friends across the street >sister meets the lady that lives across the street and one house over >said she seemed like a kinda snobby old lady >said she looked at the house when it was for sale and it looked "kinda small" I've had no interaction with this lady and I already hate her with a passion. Is this normal for owning a house? : Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)22:50:59 No.66189848 That's normal, don't worry about it. Some people are just permanently c----. Congrats on the house.
: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)22:45:44 No.66189813 >sister and I buy house together >former owners turned it into multi generational home >I live on the second floor and have a bathroom bedroom kitchen and living room 4 KB PNG >sister has pretty much the same but a dining room and an office >l work ungodly hours (56-80hrs a week between my main job and volunteering) >sister goes around and meets the neighbors, married couple on one side old stoner lady on the other and we have family friends across the street >sister meets the lady that lives across the street and one house over >said she seemed like a kinda snobby old lady >said she looked at the house when it was for sale and it looked "kinda small" I've had no interaction with this lady and I already hate her with a passion. Is this normal for owning a house? : Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)22:50:59 No.66189848 That's normal, don't worry about it. Some people are just permanently c----. Congrats on the house.

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Anon isn’t a perv | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)07:00:15 No.772251560 >>772251055 (OP) # >be 15 >sister 17 WOOSH VOUAVE Smol pener >walks out of bathroom after shower 40 KB JPG >towel hanging very loose around her body. >tell her to fasten her towel before it falls off >she nods and fastens it before walking away >i go shower and forget about it >because im not some sick degenerate like you f----. >>772251744 #
: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)07:00:15 No.772251560 >>772251055 (OP) # >be 15 >sister 17 WOOSH VOUAVE Smol pener >walks out of bathroom after shower 40 KB JPG >towel hanging very loose around her body. >tell her to fasten her towel before it falls off >she nods and fastens it before walking away >i go shower and forget about it >because im not some sick degenerate like you f----. >>772251744 #

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Anon is speed | /r/Greentext


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Anon discusses Skyrim lore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/03/21(Wed)18:51:06 No.848750292 >be me >Invites girl over for Netflix >There was no Netflix, I lied. >She thinks I wanted to f---, lol no >l wanted to actually talk about Skyrim lore >She's actually interested (what. the. 1005 KB PNG f---. no. way.) >We talk for 3-4 hours >She later says she's pro-stormcloak (red flag but ok.) >She says Nords are her favorite race (gross, not Breton-pilled) >She says Thieves Guild is the best questline in the game (ok your pressing buttons now) >Ends with saying that she didn't wife Ysolda (ok you're a f------ c---) >Throw her out in -20 snow >drunk >No ride home >glory to the empire 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/03/21(Wed)18:51:06 No.848750292 >be me >Invites girl over for Netflix >There was no Netflix, I lied. >She thinks I wanted to f---, lol no >l wanted to actually talk about Skyrim lore >She's actually interested (what. the. 1005 KB PNG f---. no. way.) >We talk for 3-4 hours >She later says she's pro-stormcloak (red flag but ok.) >She says Nords are her favorite race (gross, not Breton-pilled) >She says Thieves Guild is the best questline in the game (ok your pressing buttons now) >Ends with saying that she didn't wife Ysolda (ok you're a f------ c---) >Throw her out in -20 snow >drunk >No ride home >glory to the empire 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets trolled by his own asshole | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random v Settings Home : Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)09:54:57 No.772536508 Some 's-----' experiences, GO >be me >15 or 16 >wake up around 6 to have a shower >run upstairs pretty fast >feel the urge to fart 6 KB JPG >wait until in shower >speedily undress and get in shower >hereitcomes.wav >let out fart >a spray of s--- erupts from my a--- cavity >s--- all over shower >the smell >the mess >visual disgust >run my ass over to the toilet >feel s--- coming out >herewegoagain.mp3 >let out a wimpy little fart >god f------ damnit
Board /b/ - Random v Settings Home : Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)09:54:57 No.772536508 Some 's-----' experiences, GO >be me >15 or 16 >wake up around 6 to have a shower >run upstairs pretty fast >feel the urge to fart 6 KB JPG >wait until in shower >speedily undress and get in shower >hereitcomes.wav >let out fart >a spray of s--- erupts from my a--- cavity >s--- all over shower >the smell >the mess >visual disgust >run my ass over to the toilet >feel s--- coming out >herewegoagain.mp3 >let out a wimpy little fart >god f------ damnit

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No justice for Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:08:18 No.702431120 >My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert >Just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating >So she calls me a pervert 404 KB JPG again?!? >There is no justice in the world... : Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:15:16 No.702431870 Pervert.
: Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:08:18 No.702431120 >My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert >Just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating >So she calls me a pervert 404 KB JPG again?!? >There is no justice in the world... : Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:15:16 No.702431870 Pervert.

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Anon is playing video games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)14:28:35 No.854002332 >Be me >playing video games on Sunday night >comfy as hell >very invested in game >See a light coming through my 51 KB JPG window. >"Oh s---, I stayed up all night playing video games!" >panicking as I think about another exhausting day at work. >look out window >turns out that it's just the mushroom cloud from a nuclear warhead >crisisaverted.exe
: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)14:28:35 No.854002332 >Be me >playing video games on Sunday night >comfy as hell >very invested in game >See a light coming through my 51 KB JPG window. >"Oh s---, I stayed up all night playing video games!" >panicking as I think about another exhausting day at work. >look out window >turns out that it's just the mushroom cloud from a nuclear warhead >crisisaverted.exe

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Reddit be like :) | /r/Greentext

>be me >20 and just got license >go on road trip across canada >end up in alaska >stop at tourist place that lets you rent gold pans and 609 KB PNG pan for gold in their river >they let you keep whatever you find >spend an hour and a half and get nothing >not a single speck >go back in and turn in the pan >owner asks me if I need a container for my gold, I tell him I didn't find anything >about to leave when an older gentleman who was out there with me taps my shoulder >"here son" >hands me small glass vial with a few tiny nuggets >smile at this nice gesture and leave slightly happier than when I arrived Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
>be me >20 and just got license >go on road trip across canada >end up in alaska >stop at tourist place that lets you rent gold pans and 609 KB PNG pan for gold in their river >they let you keep whatever you find >spend an hour and a half and get nothing >not a single speck >go back in and turn in the pan >owner asks me if I need a container for my gold, I tell him I didn't find anything >about to leave when an older gentleman who was out there with me taps my shoulder >"here son" >hands me small glass vial with a few tiny nuggets >smile at this nice gesture and leave slightly happier than when I arrived Thanks for the gold, kind stranger

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Anon explains Joe Rogan | /r/Greentext

: test 09/27/20(Sun)08:35:11 No.139903097 Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan from the steppes that took an interest in intellectual things and his show is basically him bringing slightly nervous scholars and magicians to come before him to explain how the world works "glasses man, you explain to Joe why sky big, and how tree grow" but he will also believe almost anything you tell him, and only recently (in the past few years) does he clap back like "Tiny hat man say otherwise, do you lie to Joe? Tiny hat man say fat not bad for you, that sugar is enemy, so which is truth? Joe thinks you are wrong" and people just nervously go "oh-oh ok h-Haha yah I guess so" 83 KB JPG "Joe spend many moons on horseback and training with bow and sword, but joe also wonder why skyfire rise from mountains every morning, you will explain this to Joe."
: test 09/27/20(Sun)08:35:11 No.139903097 Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan from the steppes that took an interest in intellectual things and his show is basically him bringing slightly nervous scholars and magicians to come before him to explain how the world works "glasses man, you explain to Joe why sky big, and how tree grow" but he will also believe almost anything you tell him, and only recently (in the past few years) does he clap back like "Tiny hat man say otherwise, do you lie to Joe? Tiny hat man say fat not bad for you, that sugar is enemy, so which is truth? Joe thinks you are wrong" and people just nervously go "oh-oh ok h-Haha yah I guess so" 83 KB JPG "Joe spend many moons on horseback and training with bow and sword, but joe also wonder why skyfire rise from mountains every morning, you will explain this to Joe."

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Tale as old as time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)10:16:08 No.66181685 What was something disturbing you did as a kid and got away with? >Be me >Be 12 >At Disneyland and going through an early puberty >See the actress wearing a minnie 72 KB PNG mouse costume >Start dry humping her leg because coomer and sperg >She was literally frozen with fear as I came on her leg through my PlayStation shorts >Parents pulled me away and scolded me >Get banned from the shopping area >Parents leave early due to embarrassment >Years later I have developed a fetish for the Disney characters >Also developed a cartoon mask fetish >Literally got away with sexual assault because l'm a sperg Anyone else a degenerate as a kid?
: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)10:16:08 No.66181685 What was something disturbing you did as a kid and got away with? >Be me >Be 12 >At Disneyland and going through an early puberty >See the actress wearing a minnie 72 KB PNG mouse costume >Start dry humping her leg because coomer and sperg >She was literally frozen with fear as I came on her leg through my PlayStation shorts >Parents pulled me away and scolded me >Get banned from the shopping area >Parents leave early due to embarrassment >Years later I have developed a fetish for the Disney characters >Also developed a cartoon mask fetish >Literally got away with sexual assault because l'm a sperg Anyone else a degenerate as a kid?

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Ghost busters | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)05:06:54 No.66179491 Has this happened to anyone else? >join vc hoping people will join you for some chitchat >no one joins >forgot you're in vc >start jerking off 413 KB PNG >2 people end up joining >start having a conversation about 3d printing. >shrug.jpg >j------- while listening to them. it was awkward and hard but i busted a nut
: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)05:06:54 No.66179491 Has this happened to anyone else? >join vc hoping people will join you for some chitchat >no one joins >forgot you're in vc >start jerking off 413 KB PNG >2 people end up joining >start having a conversation about 3d printing. >shrug.jpg >j------- while listening to them. it was awkward and hard but i busted a nut

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You are my everything | /r/Greentext


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Anon is chris chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)18:48:20 No.154396370 1627857398356.png 1.22 MB PNG *record scratch* Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)18:48:20 No.154396370 1627857398356.png 1.22 MB PNG *record scratch* Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/24/21 (Fri)08:25:37 No.863709057 >Fall for a girl. >Go on a date with her. >Drink a six pack, sitting on my car. >She takes off her glasses and tells me to kiss her. >Kiss her. 100 KB PNG >She aggressively pulls me in and kisses me, we make out for about a minute. >She sits there in silence. >Says "That was really unpleasant, can you just take me home?" Dude what the f---? 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 09/24/21(Fri)08:44:37 No.863709798 >>863709057 (OP)# 9 KB PNG
: Anonymous 09/24/21 (Fri)08:25:37 No.863709057 >Fall for a girl. >Go on a date with her. >Drink a six pack, sitting on my car. >She takes off her glasses and tells me to kiss her. >Kiss her. 100 KB PNG >She aggressively pulls me in and kisses me, we make out for about a minute. >She sits there in silence. >Says "That was really unpleasant, can you just take me home?" Dude what the f---? 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 09/24/21(Fri)08:44:37 No.863709798 >>863709057 (OP)# 9 KB PNG

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Anon watches The Clone Wars | /r/Greentext

>how to teach the true meaning of responsibility to this stubborn 19 yo jedi who just got the rank of knight last month? >I know, assign a 14 yo xeno padawan to him >in four years she will be 18 and he will be 23 >it's totally unlikely they will bond and start f------ like rabbits during mating season, am right? truly genius, council fellas O Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)16:57:14 No.127050320 Luke, did I ever tell you about Absoka Tano? She was VOur
>how to teach the true meaning of responsibility to this stubborn 19 yo jedi who just got the rank of knight last month? >I know, assign a 14 yo xeno padawan to him >in four years she will be 18 and he will be 23 >it's totally unlikely they will bond and start f------ like rabbits during mating season, am right? truly genius, council fellas O Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)16:57:14 No.127050320 Luke, did I ever tell you about Absoka Tano? She was VOur

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Anon’s trouser snake | /r/Greentext

ll U Mobile ? 1:46 AM @ 1 80% Вoard /b/ - Random v Settings Home Anon robs a bank >be me >turned 21 a few months back in novermber >excitedly got a conceal and carry permit and 1911 290 KB JPG hand gun for christmas. >Buy some special gun pants >pic related >Time ToBeAHero.jpeg >go to bank one day >qt3.14 working >walk up to her >"hello sir, what can i do for you today?" >get nervous >exidently pull out 1911 instead of wallet >f---.jpeg >qt3.14 quickly puts money in a bag and hands it to me and says nothing >i take it and run out of fear >mfw i just robbed a bank >tmw never caught cause of ski mask >you eather die a hero or live long enough to become a villain. Well /b/ how has your day been?
ll U Mobile ? 1:46 AM @ 1 80% Вoard /b/ - Random v Settings Home Anon robs a bank >be me >turned 21 a few months back in novermber >excitedly got a conceal and carry permit and 1911 290 KB JPG hand gun for christmas. >Buy some special gun pants >pic related >Time ToBeAHero.jpeg >go to bank one day >qt3.14 working >walk up to her >"hello sir, what can i do for you today?" >get nervous >exidently pull out 1911 instead of wallet >f---.jpeg >qt3.14 quickly puts money in a bag and hands it to me and says nothing >i take it and run out of fear >mfw i just robbed a bank >tmw never caught cause of ski mask >you eather die a hero or live long enough to become a villain. Well /b/ how has your day been?

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Anon gets fired | /r/Greentext


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