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Anon asks the waiter for cheese | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
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Anon is average | /r/Greentext


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Anons dad comes back | /r/Greentext

File: 1633520625777.png (243 KB, 672x457) snjsjsjdjsjsbsjjsjsjejdbdksjdjnddjk O Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)18:28:50 No.23135475 w overwhelmed >>23135488 >>231: >dad comes over unexpectedly >have not seen him in years >my bf answers the door >dad talks to him a while >l walk up to see who's at the door >dad sees me, 4 years into HRT, post FFS, hair long and ears pierced >he looks confused for a minute until it clicks wwww bbbb nsjsjw sjsnsshghh >he looks to bf >his face gets gets red and tears start rolling down his cheeks >leaves >feel very guilty the rest of the evening
File: 1633520625777.png (243 KB, 672x457) snjsjsjdjsjsbsjjsjsjejdbdksjdjnddjk O Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)18:28:50 No.23135475 w overwhelmed >>23135488 >>231: >dad comes over unexpectedly >have not seen him in years >my bf answers the door >dad talks to him a while >l walk up to see who's at the door >dad sees me, 4 years into HRT, post FFS, hair long and ears pierced >he looks confused for a minute until it clicks wwww bbbb nsjsjw sjsnsshghh >he looks to bf >his face gets gets red and tears start rolling down his cheeks >leaves >feel very guilty the rest of the evening

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Anon Likes Strawberries | /r/Greentext

5m (11/12 21:16) · 866583605 2 Re · 0 Img · JPG 45KB · (780 x 438) 1 Reply >Be me, have dry lips >Ransack the house for a lip balm >Find a strawberry flavored lip balm >SmellsGood.exe >Apply it on my lips >l'm in love with this flavor >l'm not gay am l? •..
5m (11/12 21:16) · 866583605 2 Re · 0 Img · JPG 45KB · (780 x 438) 1 Reply >Be me, have dry lips >Ransack the house for a lip balm >Find a strawberry flavored lip balm >SmellsGood.exe >Apply it on my lips >l'm in love with this flavor >l'm not gay am l? •..

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Anon goes to school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:07:21 No.64729773 >be me >middle school >teacher is talking about std's >says you can only catch it by having relations with someone else >I conclude this is a fallacy since 107 KB JPG there had to be someone who had it without having sex and he's the one who started it >ask the teacher >"you can catch it by having sex anon" >know he didn't awnser the question on purpose but whatever >flash forward to now >i now know how patient zero caught aids >mfw my teacher didn't have the heart to tell me someone f----- a monkey
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:07:21 No.64729773 >be me >middle school >teacher is talking about std's >says you can only catch it by having relations with someone else >I conclude this is a fallacy since 107 KB JPG there had to be someone who had it without having sex and he's the one who started it >ask the teacher >"you can catch it by having sex anon" >know he didn't awnser the question on purpose but whatever >flash forward to now >i now know how patient zero caught aids >mfw my teacher didn't have the heart to tell me someone f----- a monkey

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Anon has an Israeli gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:11:21 No.62341896 fabc35dee775bcdac2ffa64de4c75e860560139768986e54fb0a433e5 90 KB JPG >Hey anon. I'm back. *kisses you* >God, you have such cute blue eyes.*strokes your hair* >My feet are so tired, have been killing palestinians all day. Will you give me a foot rub?
: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:11:21 No.62341896 fabc35dee775bcdac2ffa64de4c75e860560139768986e54fb0a433e5 90 KB JPG >Hey anon. I'm back. *kisses you* >God, you have such cute blue eyes.*strokes your hair* >My feet are so tired, have been killing palestinians all day. Will you give me a foot rub?

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anon sees black thumb | /r/Greentext

File: hecker gif (45 KB, 112x112) Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)19:20:30 No.866604933 >be me >on retardit >see comments section of post > yellow thumb > yellow thumb > n---- thumb >n---- thumb was downvoted to hell >retardit is as racist as we are n---- thumb
File: hecker gif (45 KB, 112x112) Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)19:20:30 No.866604933 >be me >on retardit >see comments section of post > yellow thumb > yellow thumb > n---- thumb >n---- thumb was downvoted to hell >retardit is as racist as we are n---- thumb

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anon has powers | /r/Greentext

> work front desk at a hokey tourist trap > woman and two sons buy tickets > a few minutes go by > "Is the tunnel supposed to spin?" > common question, people hit the emergency stop button all the time 60 KB JPG for no reason > huge red button that says do not touch > "that's either an easy fix or an expensive one, let's find out" > that one always gets a laugh out of middle aged whities > her two sons are waiting by the entrance but don't see me > I flip the emergency stop and go in the exit > appear out of a dark hallway in front of these two dudes > always did finger gun to test the motion sensor, makes me feel cool when the timing is right > stars align > shoot finger gun and tunnel wakes up in sync > motors roar and it looks like a bad acid trip like it always does > family of three has their minds crushed by my eldritch powers
> work front desk at a hokey tourist trap > woman and two sons buy tickets > a few minutes go by > "Is the tunnel supposed to spin?" > common question, people hit the emergency stop button all the time 60 KB JPG for no reason > huge red button that says do not touch > "that's either an easy fix or an expensive one, let's find out" > that one always gets a laugh out of middle aged whities > her two sons are waiting by the entrance but don't see me > I flip the emergency stop and go in the exit > appear out of a dark hallway in front of these two dudes > always did finger gun to test the motion sensor, makes me feel cool when the timing is right > stars align > shoot finger gun and tunnel wakes up in sync > motors roar and it looks like a bad acid trip like it always does > family of three has their minds crushed by my eldritch powers

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Anon shows empathy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)23:12:04 No.861801953 >be me >22 and poor in college >deliver food for a restaurant for a few months >sometimes people order takeout but don't pick it up >if it happens late enough in my shift I get 37 KB JPG to take it home with me >always ate the best those nights since it was free >be me now, 35+ >started calling corporate restaurants and ordering takeout about a half hour before close >always spoof the caller ID to show up as my ex wife >been doing it for about 3 years >never pick it up >gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing i gave some young person a free meal and also my ex gets black listed from every restaurant in town
: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)23:12:04 No.861801953 >be me >22 and poor in college >deliver food for a restaurant for a few months >sometimes people order takeout but don't pick it up >if it happens late enough in my shift I get 37 KB JPG to take it home with me >always ate the best those nights since it was free >be me now, 35+ >started calling corporate restaurants and ordering takeout about a half hour before close >always spoof the caller ID to show up as my ex wife >been doing it for about 3 years >never pick it up >gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing i gave some young person a free meal and also my ex gets black listed from every restaurant in town

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Anon poets society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 07/24/21(Sat)20:26:33 No.62728875 а рoem >There once was a surgeon named Keith >Who circumcised men with his teeth >'Twas not for leisure, or sexual 15 KB JPG pleasure >But to get at the cheese underneath thank you
: Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 07/24/21(Sat)20:26:33 No.62728875 а рoem >There once was a surgeon named Keith >Who circumcised men with his teeth >'Twas not for leisure, or sexual 15 KB JPG pleasure >But to get at the cheese underneath thank you

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Higher power | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)11:53:06 No.66130805 Ascension >finally live alone >finally secured a job in which I don't speak or interact with anyone >no social media >no family >no friends 1.1 MB PNG >no women >haven't felt the need to drink or smoke in ages I'm so close. I can just barely taste the freedom in the air. Please god take me back. I'm ready : Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)11:54:51 No.66130822 >>66130805 (OP) # >wonder what this place was like again >first post that pops up awesome
: Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)11:53:06 No.66130805 Ascension >finally live alone >finally secured a job in which I don't speak or interact with anyone >no social media >no family >no friends 1.1 MB PNG >no women >haven't felt the need to drink or smoke in ages I'm so close. I can just barely taste the freedom in the air. Please god take me back. I'm ready : Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)11:54:51 No.66130822 >>66130805 (OP) # >wonder what this place was like again >first post that pops up awesome

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anon makes a choice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)16:18:04 No.866586578 >be me >browsing >see the loli thread >d--- throbbing >ohfuck.png gonna go kill myself /b/ros, aint gotta live if my d--- got hard for a kid 75 KB PNG
Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)16:18:04 No.866586578 >be me >browsing >see the loli thread >d--- throbbing >ohfuck.png gonna go kill myself /b/ros, aint gotta live if my d--- got hard for a kid 75 KB PNG

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Op wont let their microwave wake everyone up... | /r/Greentext

i want to f------ die >be me >5 minutes ago at 4 am >nobody's awake but me >not even the birds >bought deadpool recently 39 KB JPG >decide to watch it >put popcorn in the microwave >get everything set up >spideysense.jpg >realize there's ten seconds left before it's all over >vault over jugs and chip bags >5 >fuckfuckfucknotgonnamakeit >4 >almost there >3 >i'm gonna make it >2 >so close >1 >i made it >ВEЕР ВЕЕР ВЕЕР >fuนนนนนนนนนนนนนนนนนนck.png >everyone wakes up >gets the s--- slapped out of >game over How f----- am l? Pic related.
i want to f------ die >be me >5 minutes ago at 4 am >nobody's awake but me >not even the birds >bought deadpool recently 39 KB JPG >decide to watch it >put popcorn in the microwave >get everything set up >spideysense.jpg >realize there's ten seconds left before it's all over >vault over jugs and chip bags >5 >fuckfuckfucknotgonnamakeit >4 >almost there >3 >i'm gonna make it >2 >so close >1 >i made it >ВEЕР ВЕЕР ВЕЕР >fuนนนนนนนนนนนนนนนนนนck.png >everyone wakes up >gets the s--- slapped out of >game over How f----- am l? Pic related.

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up
: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up

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Anon loves cum | /r/Greentext

>meet cute short girl with glasses at uni >start hanging out and watching anime together >work up the balls to ask her out >she's ecstatic and says yes which is weird cause l'm pretty plain looking 702 KB PNG >turns out I'm her first bf >goes on for six months >wondering when sex will happen cause l'm a horny retard >eventually after me constantly subtly judging the issue she makes a confession >turns out she's a pre-op MtF transgender >says she knew she had to tell me eventually but put it off cause she knows most guys wouldn't date a transgirl but she knew she'd have to tell me if we were gonna have sex cause l'd find out for obvious reasons >transgender is a dealbreaker for me but don't want to come off as a transphobic a------ so I lie and say it's fine >have no desire to have sex with her now but now she does >figure I should go along with the relationship and then down the line break up with her for a supposedly unrelated reason so she doesn't think I'm transphobic >we have sex >relationship continues except now she's much more relaxed around me but completely oblivious to the fact that I'm clearly uncomfortable in the relationship >this goes on for months, we have sex several times a week and I pretend to like it while gritting my teeth >honestly sometimes feel like I want to vomit when I'm making out with "her" or swallowing her c-- >still looking for a way to end the relationship for a seemingly unrelated reason but worried if I do it just a few months after she came out to me she'll suspect the real reason why
>meet cute short girl with glasses at uni >start hanging out and watching anime together >work up the balls to ask her out >she's ecstatic and says yes which is weird cause l'm pretty plain looking 702 KB PNG >turns out I'm her first bf >goes on for six months >wondering when sex will happen cause l'm a horny retard >eventually after me constantly subtly judging the issue she makes a confession >turns out she's a pre-op MtF transgender >says she knew she had to tell me eventually but put it off cause she knows most guys wouldn't date a transgirl but she knew she'd have to tell me if we were gonna have sex cause l'd find out for obvious reasons >transgender is a dealbreaker for me but don't want to come off as a transphobic a------ so I lie and say it's fine >have no desire to have sex with her now but now she does >figure I should go along with the relationship and then down the line break up with her for a supposedly unrelated reason so she doesn't think I'm transphobic >we have sex >relationship continues except now she's much more relaxed around me but completely oblivious to the fact that I'm clearly uncomfortable in the relationship >this goes on for months, we have sex several times a week and I pretend to like it while gritting my teeth >honestly sometimes feel like I want to vomit when I'm making out with "her" or swallowing her c-- >still looking for a way to end the relationship for a seemingly unrelated reason but worried if I do it just a few months after she came out to me she'll suspect the real reason why

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Anon goes to a steakhouse | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)10:06:52 No.16398753 File: 1597772991157.jpg (27 KB, 600x600) >>16397611 (OP) # >be on road trip >in texas >decide to stop at a steakhouse in east texas b------ nowhere >they have a salad bar >pasta salad >marshmallow salad >potato salad >macaroni salad >fruit salad with whipped cream >there's no vegetables at the salad bar
O Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)10:06:52 No.16398753 File: 1597772991157.jpg (27 KB, 600x600) >>16397611 (OP) # >be on road trip >in texas >decide to stop at a steakhouse in east texas b------ nowhere >they have a salad bar >pasta salad >marshmallow salad >potato salad >macaroni salad >fruit salad with whipped cream >there's no vegetables at the salad bar

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Anon finds a good channel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 157 KB PNG minutes long, and all equally hilarious >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty
: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 157 KB PNG minutes long, and all equally hilarious >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty

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Didnunuffin my ass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IFQFaxMp ) . 11/08/21 (Mon)13:05:25 No.346608839 >l never chased Kyle Rittenhouse >okay, I mean I chased after people about to harm Kyle Rittenhouse >okay, I did chase Kyle Rittenhouse >but I didn't have a gun 17 KB JPG >but I didn't mention the gun >okay, I had a gun but it fell out >okay, I had a gun but it fell out into my hand >okay, I had a gun but it fell out into my hand but I didn't do anything with it >okay, I had a gun but I pulled it out on purpose and chased Kyle Rittenhouse and pointed it at him >okay, I had a gun that I pulled out and chased Kyle Rittenhouse with and pointed at him and it was illegal for me to have ALL OF THIS HAPPENED IN 30 MINUTES >>346608980 # >>346609056 #
: Anonymous (ID: IFQFaxMp ) . 11/08/21 (Mon)13:05:25 No.346608839 >l never chased Kyle Rittenhouse >okay, I mean I chased after people about to harm Kyle Rittenhouse >okay, I did chase Kyle Rittenhouse >but I didn't have a gun 17 KB JPG >but I didn't mention the gun >okay, I had a gun but it fell out >okay, I had a gun but it fell out into my hand >okay, I had a gun but it fell out into my hand but I didn't do anything with it >okay, I had a gun but I pulled it out on purpose and chased Kyle Rittenhouse and pointed it at him >okay, I had a gun that I pulled out and chased Kyle Rittenhouse with and pointed at him and it was illegal for me to have ALL OF THIS HAPPENED IN 30 MINUTES >>346608980 # >>346609056 #

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

File: 034A1A7E-4E31-497B-8833-6(...).jpg (33 KB, 328x207) Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)11:40:36 No.866572054 (Reply] ► >>866574969 >be me >woman >used to get bullied for hobbies and interests >hit puberty >suddenly get simped over by random nerdy guys constantly >get told it's because I look cute and have cool hobbies/interests >take pride in knowing I'm cool "for a girl" and actually feel normal for once >fast-forward to today >found out I have autism
File: 034A1A7E-4E31-497B-8833-6(...).jpg (33 KB, 328x207) Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)11:40:36 No.866572054 (Reply] ► >>866574969 >be me >woman >used to get bullied for hobbies and interests >hit puberty >suddenly get simped over by random nerdy guys constantly >get told it's because I look cute and have cool hobbies/interests >take pride in knowing I'm cool "for a girl" and actually feel normal for once >fast-forward to today >found out I have autism

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Anon is very, very based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:58:59 No.63390539 423.png 398 KB PNG >Saw a fat child in public >Muttered child abuse under my breath loud enough for the mother to hear it. >Walk away like nothing happened.
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:58:59 No.63390539 423.png 398 KB PNG >Saw a fat child in public >Muttered child abuse under my breath loud enough for the mother to hear it. >Walk away like nothing happened.

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