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Earl of Sandwich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know l'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know l'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

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Anon meets up with their step dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)15:35:35 No.21359848 >Be me >Mom says that she thinks stepdad has a thing for feet like 2 years ago >Visiting with family for 4th of July >Sitting in living room just after getting up >He keeps glancing at my feet A VERY SPECIAL T GIRL 63 КВ PNG >Get so creeped out I go put on socks >A few hours later he comments "you'd make a good runner" >"Why?" (I thought he'd comment on how tall I am) >Comments on the arches of my feet I'm scared.
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)15:35:35 No.21359848 >Be me >Mom says that she thinks stepdad has a thing for feet like 2 years ago >Visiting with family for 4th of July >Sitting in living room just after getting up >He keeps glancing at my feet A VERY SPECIAL T GIRL 63 КВ PNG >Get so creeped out I go put on socks >A few hours later he comments "you'd make a good runner" >"Why?" (I thought he'd comment on how tall I am) >Comments on the arches of my feet I'm scared.

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FemwP9CZ 07/27/21(Tue)20:42:45 No.39221563 >live in a modern NEET domicile (manufactured home) that I purchased and had installed on a foundation for less than 100k >all bills and living expenses are 10k a year because no vices, pets, degenerate 21 KB PNG habits or social life >easily paid for by casually trading, two hours of "work" max weekly >spend the rest of my time playing video games, browsing the internet and fapping >edge daily but only c-- once a month to preserve chi, so my mood and emotional health remain stable it feels like I beat the system >>39221974 # >>39222013 # >>39222090 # >>39222756 # >>39222923 #
: Anonymous (ID: FemwP9CZ 07/27/21(Tue)20:42:45 No.39221563 >live in a modern NEET domicile (manufactured home) that I purchased and had installed on a foundation for less than 100k >all bills and living expenses are 10k a year because no vices, pets, degenerate 21 KB PNG habits or social life >easily paid for by casually trading, two hours of "work" max weekly >spend the rest of my time playing video games, browsing the internet and fapping >edge daily but only c-- once a month to preserve chi, so my mood and emotional health remain stable it feels like I beat the system >>39221974 # >>39222013 # >>39222090 # >>39222756 # >>39222923 #

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Mortal Kombat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)01:29:51 No.65148326 >trying to go to sleep >every time l'm getting close, a stupid f------ fly buzzes past my ear >after the fourth time I am filled with nothing but pure rage and hatred towards that little s--- 37 KB JPG >get out of bed and turn on the light >grab a dirty towel to swing on this f----- (pretty good method if you dont have a flyswatter >l don't let my anger get to me >I strike with precision, not with rage >get him after a few minutes of striking >hes lying on the floor, barely moving around, clearly in agony >I don't finish the kill >this f----- wanted me to suffer, and now it's my turn >gently put him on a piece of paper >dispose of him in the dungeons (my current c-- bag full of dried up c--/tissues Now I can get some sleep. Rot in hell you f------ bitch, F--- YOU!
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)01:29:51 No.65148326 >trying to go to sleep >every time l'm getting close, a stupid f------ fly buzzes past my ear >after the fourth time I am filled with nothing but pure rage and hatred towards that little s--- 37 KB JPG >get out of bed and turn on the light >grab a dirty towel to swing on this f----- (pretty good method if you dont have a flyswatter >l don't let my anger get to me >I strike with precision, not with rage >get him after a few minutes of striking >hes lying on the floor, barely moving around, clearly in agony >I don't finish the kill >this f----- wanted me to suffer, and now it's my turn >gently put him on a piece of paper >dispose of him in the dungeons (my current c-- bag full of dried up c--/tissues Now I can get some sleep. Rot in hell you f------ bitch, F--- YOU!

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Anon is sigma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous denying femoids attention 08/27/21(Fri)05:27:37 No.65148313 >be me >university just started >getting to know new classmates >2 girls in my class >one shy below average >one very pretty >shy girl just sits glued to her phone 198 KB PNG >most of the guys give the pretty girl constant attention >decided i wasn't going to give her any attention to annoy her >she keeps shooting me glances for being the only one ignoring her >mfw my fight against women will never end but i don't know what to do if i get assigned to the same group as her for a project or whatever. should i just autistically ignore her and pretend she's a ghost or just seem uninterested/unimpressed in everything she says etc 36 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous denying femoids attention 08/27/21(Fri)05:27:37 No.65148313 >be me >university just started >getting to know new classmates >2 girls in my class >one shy below average >one very pretty >shy girl just sits glued to her phone 198 KB PNG >most of the guys give the pretty girl constant attention >decided i wasn't going to give her any attention to annoy her >she keeps shooting me glances for being the only one ignoring her >mfw my fight against women will never end but i don't know what to do if i get assigned to the same group as her for a project or whatever. should i just autistically ignore her and pretend she's a ghost or just seem uninterested/unimpressed in everything she says etc 36 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon plays Overwatch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/18(Tue)22:28:39 No.774636545 ITT: Spooky gaming stories I'll start >be me >playing overwatch >destroy somebody on the 247 KB JPG other team >start spawn camping and killing him >laughing my ass off >you've got mail.jpg >message lists my home address Wat do?
: Anonymous 07/17/18(Tue)22:28:39 No.774636545 ITT: Spooky gaming stories I'll start >be me >playing overwatch >destroy somebody on the 247 KB JPG other team >start spawn camping and killing him >laughing my ass off >you've got mail.jpg >message lists my home address Wat do?

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Anon has an antagonist | /r/Greentext


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Anon sees a shrink | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)08:00:30 No.65149795 >>65149399 (OP) # >see female shrink after having depression from loneliness >she asks if I've ever had a girlfriend >l say no >"Never? Really?" she asks >"Never." I say >silence for like 30 seconds while she unironically 44 KB JPG does a face like pic related She solved my depression problem all right, now it's anger and hate that I've got issues with. F--- mental health professionals. >>65149965 # >>65150102 # >>65151488 # >>65151524 #
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)08:00:30 No.65149795 >>65149399 (OP) # >see female shrink after having depression from loneliness >she asks if I've ever had a girlfriend >l say no >"Never? Really?" she asks >"Never." I say >silence for like 30 seconds while she unironically 44 KB JPG does a face like pic related She solved my depression problem all right, now it's anger and hate that I've got issues with. F--- mental health professionals. >>65149965 # >>65150102 # >>65151488 # >>65151524 #

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Anon plays 5D chess | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)13:06:23 No.861899001 >Be me working late shifts at a hotel >Only coworker I really saw was the housekeeping manager >Friendly enough guy >Typically ordered a pizza once a week >He'd mooch 388 KB JPG >Didn't mind the first couple times >Started doing it more often, taking more slices than one should >Got tired of it but didn't want to be rude, knew he was poor >Found out he was Muslim >Started ordering pepperoni pizza to keep him away >It works This was years ago but still felt like a 5D chess move 24 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)13:06:23 No.861899001 >Be me working late shifts at a hotel >Only coworker I really saw was the housekeeping manager >Friendly enough guy >Typically ordered a pizza once a week >He'd mooch 388 KB JPG >Didn't mind the first couple times >Started doing it more often, taking more slices than one should >Got tired of it but didn't want to be rude, knew he was poor >Found out he was Muslim >Started ordering pepperoni pizza to keep him away >It works This was years ago but still felt like a 5D chess move 24 Replies View Thread

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Toe in the water | /r/Greentext


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Anon Has a Hard Time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)23:40:40 No.65135166 000000H|H >just took viagra because some girl said she was coming over >cancels right after I take it Now I got a huge a boner and nothing to use it on 33 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)23:40:40 No.65135166 000000H|H >just took viagra because some girl said she was coming over >cancels right after I take it Now I got a huge a boner and nothing to use it on 33 KB PNG

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Story of the last Grug | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)06:46:18 No.63174566 >>63174367 # Imagine being one of the last pureblood neanderthal >de krug >krug tribe once strong >kings of the forest >times are warmer now, blood is thinner >you're one of the last strong ones >the thin ones from beyond the world rule the forest now >they prosper when your tribe slowly winnow away >it's just you left now >the thin ones are not cruel >they accept you so long as you help with hunts >they don't mind you tiring faster than them on the great wanderings >you pull your weight >they babble to you at the fire >asking you about your tribe >their tongue is strange, but more familiar every day >young bight eyes looks at you across the fire >you stand and speak of the stories of the old tribe legends >halfhand, the strong >snot, the hunter >the all enduring grandmother >firelungs, the teacher >you see bright eyes teeth catch the glare of the fire, as she stares at you >you smile back >elf p---- tonight| >ancestors be willing, life will still be good >>63175888 #
: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)06:46:18 No.63174566 >>63174367 # Imagine being one of the last pureblood neanderthal >de krug >krug tribe once strong >kings of the forest >times are warmer now, blood is thinner >you're one of the last strong ones >the thin ones from beyond the world rule the forest now >they prosper when your tribe slowly winnow away >it's just you left now >the thin ones are not cruel >they accept you so long as you help with hunts >they don't mind you tiring faster than them on the great wanderings >you pull your weight >they babble to you at the fire >asking you about your tribe >their tongue is strange, but more familiar every day >young bight eyes looks at you across the fire >you stand and speak of the stories of the old tribe legends >halfhand, the strong >snot, the hunter >the all enduring grandmother >firelungs, the teacher >you see bright eyes teeth catch the glare of the fire, as she stares at you >you smile back >elf p---- tonight| >ancestors be willing, life will still be good >>63175888 #

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Anons based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)11:19:05 No.65151557 >dad released from jail for beating his 23 year old girlfriend >go to his house only four days later and he has a new girlfriend there >she is only 21 >tell her in private about how she should leave since he is violent and will end up beating her >she curses me out, tells me he is a sweet man who would never do such a thing and that i'm just jealous that he gets to have a young girlfriend >i leave without convincing her >go back to his house a few days later >see her crying and she has red marks on her face and arms >"anon your dad hit me" >tell her my dad is a sweet man and would never do such a thing >>65151566 #
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)11:19:05 No.65151557 >dad released from jail for beating his 23 year old girlfriend >go to his house only four days later and he has a new girlfriend there >she is only 21 >tell her in private about how she should leave since he is violent and will end up beating her >she curses me out, tells me he is a sweet man who would never do such a thing and that i'm just jealous that he gets to have a young girlfriend >i leave without convincing her >go back to his house a few days later >see her crying and she has red marks on her face and arms >"anon your dad hit me" >tell her my dad is a sweet man and would never do such a thing >>65151566 #

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Anon is too depressed to coom | /r/Greentext


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Anon’s mum is acting weird | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/18(Mon)00:59:44 No.47898789 >be 34 y/o NEET, still live with mummy >waiting on couch watching MLP when mummy comes home from work >mummy finally arrives with KFC >" THANK YOU MUMMY! THANK 32 KB JPG YOUUU " >eat the whole bucket within five minutes >look back and see mummy swallowing a whole can of tictacs >stupid mummy, shes wasting tic tacs >mummy says shes going to have a nap >mummy has been napping for two weeks and the house smells like rotting meat because mummy keeps farting in her sleep >how do i wake her up r9k? 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/03/18(Mon)00:59:44 No.47898789 >be 34 y/o NEET, still live with mummy >waiting on couch watching MLP when mummy comes home from work >mummy finally arrives with KFC >" THANK YOU MUMMY! THANK 32 KB JPG YOUUU " >eat the whole bucket within five minutes >look back and see mummy swallowing a whole can of tictacs >stupid mummy, shes wasting tic tacs >mummy says shes going to have a nap >mummy has been napping for two weeks and the house smells like rotting meat because mummy keeps farting in her sleep >how do i wake her up r9k? 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to the teraphist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)03:35:59 No.65147597 >called my therapist "Mom" 149 KB JPG 17 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)04:53:39 No.65148094 >>65147597 (OP) # it's ok anon it was just an accident : Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)04:58:11 No.65148133 >>65147958 # Anon stop going on reddit. : Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)06:23:21 No.65148714 >called my mom "the r-----" صا المية مية 423 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)03:35:59 No.65147597 >called my therapist "Mom" 149 KB JPG 17 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)04:53:39 No.65148094 >>65147597 (OP) # it's ok anon it was just an accident : Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)04:58:11 No.65148133 >>65147958 # Anon stop going on reddit. : Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)06:23:21 No.65148714 >called my mom "the r-----" صا المية مية 423 KB PNG

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Anon downloads linux | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)22:13:38 No.861843444 >be me >hear that linux is top tier os and windows s--- >decide to give it a try and download proton >accidentally press download button too many times >the many protons commence a 26 KB JPG coulomb explosion >half of my bedroom is gone along with my pc >mfw Thank you frens for recommending linux.
: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)22:13:38 No.861843444 >be me >hear that linux is top tier os and windows s--- >decide to give it a try and download proton >accidentally press download button too many times >the many protons commence a 26 KB JPG coulomb explosion >half of my bedroom is gone along with my pc >mfw Thank you frens for recommending linux.

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Anon cures constipation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG

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Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

A gang bang isn't proof you can work as part of a team. >Вe Мe >Working late one night >Long Story Short >I Walked in on my Boss's wife get f----- by not my Boss >Nope out of there >Next few days she happens to be around >Always trying to get my attention >I manage to avoid her >Until yesterday >She Cornered me in the break room >Pleaded with me to keep my mouth shut >l have no intention of getting involved >Being the socially awkward fucklam >l walked away and muttered something like maybe ok bye >She was persistent >Borderline threatening >Then Begging >I go back to my desk and ignore her >End of the day she hands me a folder of reports >Note inside >"I'll suck your d--- if you say nothing >Bitch be desperate >What shouldI do? Nothing Tell boss Take BJ
A gang bang isn't proof you can work as part of a team. >Вe Мe >Working late one night >Long Story Short >I Walked in on my Boss's wife get f----- by not my Boss >Nope out of there >Next few days she happens to be around >Always trying to get my attention >I manage to avoid her >Until yesterday >She Cornered me in the break room >Pleaded with me to keep my mouth shut >l have no intention of getting involved >Being the socially awkward fucklam >l walked away and muttered something like maybe ok bye >She was persistent >Borderline threatening >Then Begging >I go back to my desk and ignore her >End of the day she hands me a folder of reports >Note inside >"I'll suck your d--- if you say nothing >Bitch be desperate >What shouldI do? Nothing Tell boss Take BJ

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Anon likes to draw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Green text 08/26/21(Thu)17:31:06 No.65141877 Oohhh do I have the ultimate el Cringe for you guys. >play badminton with a q.t.4 on my team >clearly has a crush on me rci >she asks for my number and follows me back home to know WHEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE ISA MEME ;-; DDnemegenarator.net 11 KB JPG where I live >always tries to touch me and laughs at everything I say > I wasn't interested in a relationship and too shy to directly reject her so I give her alot of subtle hints to leave me be but she doesn't and persists >one day she sees me handing an anime drawing to one of my friends > "anon, you watch animu?" >"yes" >Disappointment floods her eyes >instantly loses interest and ghosts me So what's your El cringe story anons? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous Green text 08/26/21(Thu)17:31:06 No.65141877 Oohhh do I have the ultimate el Cringe for you guys. >play badminton with a q.t.4 on my team >clearly has a crush on me rci >she asks for my number and follows me back home to know WHEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE ISA MEME ;-; DDnemegenarator.net 11 KB JPG where I live >always tries to touch me and laughs at everything I say > I wasn't interested in a relationship and too shy to directly reject her so I give her alot of subtle hints to leave me be but she doesn't and persists >one day she sees me handing an anime drawing to one of my friends > "anon, you watch animu?" >"yes" >Disappointment floods her eyes >instantly loses interest and ghosts me So what's your El cringe story anons? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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