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Anon made it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 minutes ago 53549518 >finally managed to go on a date that went well >she wanted to f--- >couldn't get hard due to nerves/ p--- brain >tell her l'm sorry I think I'm just nervous >she told me it's alright and blew me until I came >joked around and told her next time I see her l'll just take a generic viagra (was serious though) >she told me that won't help with my nerves and not to worry >she's still talking to me after I kinda made it bros? 4 REPLIES vv 33 minutes ago 53549528 Yep, go for it, she seems nice enough desu senpai 1 REPLY Anonymous 29 minutes ago 53549570 >>53549518 (OP) You did your best anon, proud of you bud
Anonymous 34 minutes ago 53549518 >finally managed to go on a date that went well >she wanted to f--- >couldn't get hard due to nerves/ p--- brain >tell her l'm sorry I think I'm just nervous >she told me it's alright and blew me until I came >joked around and told her next time I see her l'll just take a generic viagra (was serious though) >she told me that won't help with my nerves and not to worry >she's still talking to me after I kinda made it bros? 4 REPLIES vv 33 minutes ago 53549528 Yep, go for it, she seems nice enough desu senpai 1 REPLY Anonymous 29 minutes ago 53549570 >>53549518 (OP) You did your best anon, proud of you bud

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Anon has autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)00:12:42 No.861934771 >be me watching daredevil >i really like the show >get the idea to walk around the house with my eyes closed >i started bumping into stuff frequently at first but now i can eat, sit, do dishes, shower, etc with my 80 KB JPG eyes closed >sometimes l'll still bump into stuff but yeah I've memorized my entire house >now i gotta wait for radioactive waste to fall into my eyes 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)00:12:42 No.861934771 >be me watching daredevil >i really like the show >get the idea to walk around the house with my eyes closed >i started bumping into stuff frequently at first but now i can eat, sit, do dishes, shower, etc with my 80 KB JPG eyes closed >sometimes l'll still bump into stuff but yeah I've memorized my entire house >now i gotta wait for radioactive waste to fall into my eyes 3 Replies View Thread

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anon trusts incels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous08/28/21(Sat)03:59:51 No.861947717 jesus christ why am i like this? >be me >not the hottest guy but not ugly or anything >see people talking about falling in love with girls who 54 KB JPG show the slightest attention >see them get rejected because the girl was just being nice >thatwontbeme.png >meet girl >7/10 qt >we exchange phone numbers and play minecraft together >pretty sure she had a crush on me >remember 4chan comrades >immediately disregard all hints she gave me because "she's just being nice" >she meets a new guy and we grow apart >years later we see eachother in a restaurant >talk to her for a bit "yeah anon funny enough i had the biggest crush on you and i tried telling you but i guess you never seemed interested" the one f------ time i trust you retards
: Anonymous08/28/21(Sat)03:59:51 No.861947717 jesus christ why am i like this? >be me >not the hottest guy but not ugly or anything >see people talking about falling in love with girls who 54 KB JPG show the slightest attention >see them get rejected because the girl was just being nice >thatwontbeme.png >meet girl >7/10 qt >we exchange phone numbers and play minecraft together >pretty sure she had a crush on me >remember 4chan comrades >immediately disregard all hints she gave me because "she's just being nice" >she meets a new guy and we grow apart >years later we see eachother in a restaurant >talk to her for a bit "yeah anon funny enough i had the biggest crush on you and i tried telling you but i guess you never seemed interested" the one f------ time i trust you retards

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Anons sister is a whore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)15:04:36 No.65153811 >let sister log into instagram on my phone >snoop her messages >she told her friends she got fingered by a guy she just met We live in a society 186 KB JPG Don't know what I expected, but I thought she was better than that. Even if she wasn't why couldn't it be me? View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)15:04:36 No.65153811 >let sister log into instagram on my phone >snoop her messages >she told her friends she got fingered by a guy she just met We live in a society 186 KB JPG Don't know what I expected, but I thought she was better than that. Even if she wasn't why couldn't it be me? View Thread

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Anon is clueless | /r/Greentext

: How to be less retarded ;[ 08/27/21(Fri)11:06:34 No.65151450 >be me >20 years old f------ incel. >never have any relationships before, keep on saying "i focus on my carreer" complaining why the f--- i dont have a relationship. >one day, i chat with my bro who 11 KB JPG happens to be a chad, complaining i dont have a girlfriend etc... > reveal my crush to my bro > bro shocked. > me: why? confused.jpg > turns out that girl was into me, w--.jpg > turns out i have been ignoring her without me noticing > quickly check her fb page, base on the profile status she already has moved on. > feel like s---, wanting to off my self, > then realized, that in the past other girls also have acted like that to me > wanting to off my self even more > is this the price for being a 4chan autist 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: How to be less retarded ;[ 08/27/21(Fri)11:06:34 No.65151450 >be me >20 years old f------ incel. >never have any relationships before, keep on saying "i focus on my carreer" complaining why the f--- i dont have a relationship. >one day, i chat with my bro who 11 KB JPG happens to be a chad, complaining i dont have a girlfriend etc... > reveal my crush to my bro > bro shocked. > me: why? confused.jpg > turns out that girl was into me, w--.jpg > turns out i have been ignoring her without me noticing > quickly check her fb page, base on the profile status she already has moved on. > feel like s---, wanting to off my self, > then realized, that in the past other girls also have acted like that to me > wanting to off my self even more > is this the price for being a 4chan autist 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon goes to McDonald’s | /r/Greentext

I had a really weird dream guys >Вe me >In parking lot of a shopping center i regularly visit >See a sign for mcdonald's >Find that weird because there's never 231 KB PNG been a McDonald's in this area >Walk over to get some food because I am hungry >Go inside an entrance, there are no doors to get in, when I walk in it looks like a combination of a really s----- greyhound bus station and really s----- park benches that haven't been touched since the 90s >There's some white crackhead woman sitting at one of the tables, she yells at me saying "this isn't where you order" >l walk back outside, and go around the corner of the building, I see a window in the wall basically >There's some really ghetto black buy behind some iron rails and other security s--- over the window, you can visibly see all sorts of food just lying on a metal counter back there >Ask for a "crispy chicken sandwich" >He responds "you mean a filet-o-chicken" >Yeah sure >Go back to dining area >Large black woman asks if I got fries, tell her no >Eventually guy who takes my order comes with a paper bag. Casually pulls out a gun and shoots white woman, no one reacts at all >Guy hands me my sandwich >Ask how much I owe him >Responds "all your debts have been forgiven" >He drags the corpse of white woman away >Take bite of sandwich >It's disgustingly rotten >Wake up What does this mean?
I had a really weird dream guys >Вe me >In parking lot of a shopping center i regularly visit >See a sign for mcdonald's >Find that weird because there's never 231 KB PNG been a McDonald's in this area >Walk over to get some food because I am hungry >Go inside an entrance, there are no doors to get in, when I walk in it looks like a combination of a really s----- greyhound bus station and really s----- park benches that haven't been touched since the 90s >There's some white crackhead woman sitting at one of the tables, she yells at me saying "this isn't where you order" >l walk back outside, and go around the corner of the building, I see a window in the wall basically >There's some really ghetto black buy behind some iron rails and other security s--- over the window, you can visibly see all sorts of food just lying on a metal counter back there >Ask for a "crispy chicken sandwich" >He responds "you mean a filet-o-chicken" >Yeah sure >Go back to dining area >Large black woman asks if I got fries, tell her no >Eventually guy who takes my order comes with a paper bag. Casually pulls out a gun and shoots white woman, no one reacts at all >Guy hands me my sandwich >Ask how much I owe him >Responds "all your debts have been forgiven" >He drags the corpse of white woman away >Take bite of sandwich >It's disgustingly rotten >Wake up What does this mean?

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I'm speechless | /r/Greentext


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Anon to a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)12:15:39 No.65151535 >be me >start chatting with girl >plan on meeting up >doesnt have time to hang out yet >talk over discord >seems to be going well >both say we are excited to meet each other 519 KB PNG >finallyhastime.jpg >"sorry anon, next week doesnt work we can do the week after tho" II >week after >"im not really sure when I have time, ill tell you when we can plan something" why are females like this View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)12:15:39 No.65151535 >be me >start chatting with girl >plan on meeting up >doesnt have time to hang out yet >talk over discord >seems to be going well >both say we are excited to meet each other 519 KB PNG >finallyhastime.jpg >"sorry anon, next week doesnt work we can do the week after tho" II >week after >"im not really sure when I have time, ill tell you when we can plan something" why are females like this View Thread

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anon inquires | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)02:18:35 No.861918615 >why does every pretty girl have a fat disgusting ugly land whale for a best friend? 29 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)02:18:35 No.861918615 >why does every pretty girl have a fat disgusting ugly land whale for a best friend? 29 KB JPG

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Anon maximises his neetbux | /r/Greentext

How do you maximize your neetbux? >Ask for a large cup of water everytime, refill with soda. >Steal silverware at chain restaurants and sell it on 138 KB GIF Facebook marketplaces once I have enough. >Take condiments >Take backpack into bathrooms with good TP and steal it all. >Have saved every single warranty item and sent it in for a new one at the time of warranty expiration. Did this with some sennheisers, corsair keyboard, monitor. >Torrent all single player games, g2a for multi- player. >Flatmate asked me to fix her internet. Wrote down the router password. Use it when I want to download something big. >Bought a set of tubular picks, anytime I see a vending machine without cameras near by I help myself to a neetbux advance. >Drop ship things >Crypto trade >Collect vintage hand helds from flea markets, garage sales, pawn shops. Flip on eBay for an easy 10-100x profit.
How do you maximize your neetbux? >Ask for a large cup of water everytime, refill with soda. >Steal silverware at chain restaurants and sell it on 138 KB GIF Facebook marketplaces once I have enough. >Take condiments >Take backpack into bathrooms with good TP and steal it all. >Have saved every single warranty item and sent it in for a new one at the time of warranty expiration. Did this with some sennheisers, corsair keyboard, monitor. >Torrent all single player games, g2a for multi- player. >Flatmate asked me to fix her internet. Wrote down the router password. Use it when I want to download something big. >Bought a set of tubular picks, anytime I see a vending machine without cameras near by I help myself to a neetbux advance. >Drop ship things >Crypto trade >Collect vintage hand helds from flea markets, garage sales, pawn shops. Flip on eBay for an easy 10-100x profit.

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Grandpa Joe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)11:56:24 No.861896042 >Be Joe Biden >withdraw troops from Afghanistan overnight before evacuating estimated 15,000-30,000 American citizens. >inadvertently leave the weapons and supply's to the taliban instead of the 172 KB JPG Afghanistan soldiers >they wake up to find the American military completely gone. >ohshit.jpg >run out of ammunition and supply's only to surrender to the taliban >get beheaded >Enjoy a long weekend after poorly conducted military withdrawal leading to the potential deaths of thousands of Afghanistan and American soldiers. >Get asked how you feel about it >hit em with the ol cmon man that was 4-5 days ago. >decide to make it all better >make a list of your favorite People stuck in Afghanistan >give it to the taliban asking them to not hurt them >congratulations you've created a hit list Cheer up Joe Biden it gets better 20 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)11:56:24 No.861896042 >Be Joe Biden >withdraw troops from Afghanistan overnight before evacuating estimated 15,000-30,000 American citizens. >inadvertently leave the weapons and supply's to the taliban instead of the 172 KB JPG Afghanistan soldiers >they wake up to find the American military completely gone. >ohshit.jpg >run out of ammunition and supply's only to surrender to the taliban >get beheaded >Enjoy a long weekend after poorly conducted military withdrawal leading to the potential deaths of thousands of Afghanistan and American soldiers. >Get asked how you feel about it >hit em with the ol cmon man that was 4-5 days ago. >decide to make it all better >make a list of your favorite People stuck in Afghanistan >give it to the taliban asking them to not hurt them >congratulations you've created a hit list Cheer up Joe Biden it gets better 20 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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The Jesus of Technology | /r/Greentext


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Anon ascends | /r/Greentext

12/07/17(Thu)20:20:40 No.41636302 : Anon Ascended >Be me, in biology class >teacher not here, so we watch House >l make a joke about the incesty father in the episode >girl next to me laughs and says "Man, I really hate you, anon." 25 KB JPG >l reply "Yeah, I get that alot." >She responds "Aww man, you know I was joking, right? You're honestly f------ hilarious." I truly feel alive now, never been happier
12/07/17(Thu)20:20:40 No.41636302 : Anon Ascended >Be me, in biology class >teacher not here, so we watch House >l make a joke about the incesty father in the episode >girl next to me laughs and says "Man, I really hate you, anon." 25 KB JPG >l reply "Yeah, I get that alot." >She responds "Aww man, you know I was joking, right? You're honestly f------ hilarious." I truly feel alive now, never been happier

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Anon uses only fans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)15:25:39 No.861908902 >subscribe to only fans girls >They start sending me content >They start asking why I'm not unlocking the content >Leave them on read 18 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)15:25:39 No.861908902 >subscribe to only fans girls >They start sending me content >They start asking why I'm not unlocking the content >Leave them on read 18 KB JPG

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Earl of Sandwich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know l'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know l'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

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Anon meets up with their step dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)15:35:35 No.21359848 >Be me >Mom says that she thinks stepdad has a thing for feet like 2 years ago >Visiting with family for 4th of July >Sitting in living room just after getting up >He keeps glancing at my feet A VERY SPECIAL T GIRL 63 КВ PNG >Get so creeped out I go put on socks >A few hours later he comments "you'd make a good runner" >"Why?" (I thought he'd comment on how tall I am) >Comments on the arches of my feet I'm scared.
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)15:35:35 No.21359848 >Be me >Mom says that she thinks stepdad has a thing for feet like 2 years ago >Visiting with family for 4th of July >Sitting in living room just after getting up >He keeps glancing at my feet A VERY SPECIAL T GIRL 63 КВ PNG >Get so creeped out I go put on socks >A few hours later he comments "you'd make a good runner" >"Why?" (I thought he'd comment on how tall I am) >Comments on the arches of my feet I'm scared.

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FemwP9CZ 07/27/21(Tue)20:42:45 No.39221563 >live in a modern NEET domicile (manufactured home) that I purchased and had installed on a foundation for less than 100k >all bills and living expenses are 10k a year because no vices, pets, degenerate 21 KB PNG habits or social life >easily paid for by casually trading, two hours of "work" max weekly >spend the rest of my time playing video games, browsing the internet and fapping >edge daily but only c-- once a month to preserve chi, so my mood and emotional health remain stable it feels like I beat the system >>39221974 # >>39222013 # >>39222090 # >>39222756 # >>39222923 #
: Anonymous (ID: FemwP9CZ 07/27/21(Tue)20:42:45 No.39221563 >live in a modern NEET domicile (manufactured home) that I purchased and had installed on a foundation for less than 100k >all bills and living expenses are 10k a year because no vices, pets, degenerate 21 KB PNG habits or social life >easily paid for by casually trading, two hours of "work" max weekly >spend the rest of my time playing video games, browsing the internet and fapping >edge daily but only c-- once a month to preserve chi, so my mood and emotional health remain stable it feels like I beat the system >>39221974 # >>39222013 # >>39222090 # >>39222756 # >>39222923 #

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Mortal Kombat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)01:29:51 No.65148326 >trying to go to sleep >every time l'm getting close, a stupid f------ fly buzzes past my ear >after the fourth time I am filled with nothing but pure rage and hatred towards that little s--- 37 KB JPG >get out of bed and turn on the light >grab a dirty towel to swing on this f----- (pretty good method if you dont have a flyswatter >l don't let my anger get to me >I strike with precision, not with rage >get him after a few minutes of striking >hes lying on the floor, barely moving around, clearly in agony >I don't finish the kill >this f----- wanted me to suffer, and now it's my turn >gently put him on a piece of paper >dispose of him in the dungeons (my current c-- bag full of dried up c--/tissues Now I can get some sleep. Rot in hell you f------ bitch, F--- YOU!
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)01:29:51 No.65148326 >trying to go to sleep >every time l'm getting close, a stupid f------ fly buzzes past my ear >after the fourth time I am filled with nothing but pure rage and hatred towards that little s--- 37 KB JPG >get out of bed and turn on the light >grab a dirty towel to swing on this f----- (pretty good method if you dont have a flyswatter >l don't let my anger get to me >I strike with precision, not with rage >get him after a few minutes of striking >hes lying on the floor, barely moving around, clearly in agony >I don't finish the kill >this f----- wanted me to suffer, and now it's my turn >gently put him on a piece of paper >dispose of him in the dungeons (my current c-- bag full of dried up c--/tissues Now I can get some sleep. Rot in hell you f------ bitch, F--- YOU!

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Anon is sigma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous denying femoids attention 08/27/21(Fri)05:27:37 No.65148313 >be me >university just started >getting to know new classmates >2 girls in my class >one shy below average >one very pretty >shy girl just sits glued to her phone 198 KB PNG >most of the guys give the pretty girl constant attention >decided i wasn't going to give her any attention to annoy her >she keeps shooting me glances for being the only one ignoring her >mfw my fight against women will never end but i don't know what to do if i get assigned to the same group as her for a project or whatever. should i just autistically ignore her and pretend she's a ghost or just seem uninterested/unimpressed in everything she says etc 36 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous denying femoids attention 08/27/21(Fri)05:27:37 No.65148313 >be me >university just started >getting to know new classmates >2 girls in my class >one shy below average >one very pretty >shy girl just sits glued to her phone 198 KB PNG >most of the guys give the pretty girl constant attention >decided i wasn't going to give her any attention to annoy her >she keeps shooting me glances for being the only one ignoring her >mfw my fight against women will never end but i don't know what to do if i get assigned to the same group as her for a project or whatever. should i just autistically ignore her and pretend she's a ghost or just seem uninterested/unimpressed in everything she says etc 36 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon plays Overwatch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/18(Tue)22:28:39 No.774636545 ITT: Spooky gaming stories I'll start >be me >playing overwatch >destroy somebody on the 247 KB JPG other team >start spawn camping and killing him >laughing my ass off >you've got mail.jpg >message lists my home address Wat do?
: Anonymous 07/17/18(Tue)22:28:39 No.774636545 ITT: Spooky gaming stories I'll start >be me >playing overwatch >destroy somebody on the 247 KB JPG other team >start spawn camping and killing him >laughing my ass off >you've got mail.jpg >message lists my home address Wat do?

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