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Anon is gonna make it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 50437301 2 hr. ago ••• >see qt girl at bus stop >approach her >"hi, i'm anon. how are you?" >"oh hi anon. i'm rebecca" >"would you like to come to mcdonalds with me?" >"um. i'm sorry. i have a boyfriend" >at least i tried >i'm gonna make it 11.6 kB JPG 6 REPLIES 6 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 50437301 2 hr. ago ••• >see qt girl at bus stop >approach her >"hi, i'm anon. how are you?" >"oh hi anon. i'm rebecca" >"would you like to come to mcdonalds with me?" >"um. i'm sorry. i have a boyfriend" >at least i tried >i'm gonna make it 11.6 kB JPG 6 REPLIES 6 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon learned spanish after taking DMT | /r/Greentext

File: 4534543423.jpg (22 KB, 448x252) O I learned spanish after taking DMT Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)01:41:23 No.29598765 [Reply] >be me, 5 years ago >smoke DMT >deity appears infront of me and grants me the ability to speak spanish >come back from trip >keep the ability Todavia puedo hablarlo, jamas habia estudiado español antes. 36 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
File: 4534543423.jpg (22 KB, 448x252) O I learned spanish after taking DMT Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)01:41:23 No.29598765 [Reply] >be me, 5 years ago >smoke DMT >deity appears infront of me and grants me the ability to speak spanish >come back from trip >keep the ability Todavia puedo hablarlo, jamas habia estudiado español antes. 36 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.

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Anon makes a twitter account | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)02:26:43 No.861944211 JEBIESZ MOKRYM >be me >start twitter account >post photos, be nice to people >fall into music twitter >defend an artist that is getting s--- on >all i'm saying is that maybe we shouldn't be trying to find her address and talk about throwing acid over her PSEM 90 KB JPG >"you racist p------------" >"what is wrong with you" >"delete your account" >"unfollow this account or you will never talk to me again" are these real people?
: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)02:26:43 No.861944211 JEBIESZ MOKRYM >be me >start twitter account >post photos, be nice to people >fall into music twitter >defend an artist that is getting s--- on >all i'm saying is that maybe we shouldn't be trying to find her address and talk about throwing acid over her PSEM 90 KB JPG >"you racist p------------" >"what is wrong with you" >"delete your account" >"unfollow this account or you will never talk to me again" are these real people?

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It goes on forever | /r/Greentext

1. #769367220 5/22/18, 4:30 PM >be me >american >go to school >don't get shot, because gun violence in america is very exaggerated by the media >go home >shoot myself 1 REPLY 2 #769367427 5/22/18 4:32 PM >>769367220 OP >Suicide is then reported in gun death statistics, without clarification, used to exaggerate gun violence by media It all comes full cycle
1. #769367220 5/22/18, 4:30 PM >be me >american >go to school >don't get shot, because gun violence in america is very exaggerated by the media >go home >shoot myself 1 REPLY 2 #769367427 5/22/18 4:32 PM >>769367220 OP >Suicide is then reported in gun death statistics, without clarification, used to exaggerate gun violence by media It all comes full cycle

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Anon’s mom is a normie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45664534 17 perccel ezelőtt ... >be me >age 7 >have a 2 year old younger brother >i occasionally smack him to discipline him when he annoys me or does something wrong >parents yell at me >they say one should never, ever do that to a child The mt peple igr n pol dring Pepe 24,3 kB JPG Fast forward 15 years >my parents get a dog for the first time >it's a small puppy >they occasionally smack the puppy to discipline it, e.g. if he pees in the house Fast forward 2 years >the dog is now one of the most well behaved dogs in the whole neighborhood >my brother is a drug addict I f------ hate normies and their hypocricy
Anonymous | 45664534 17 perccel ezelőtt ... >be me >age 7 >have a 2 year old younger brother >i occasionally smack him to discipline him when he annoys me or does something wrong >parents yell at me >they say one should never, ever do that to a child The mt peple igr n pol dring Pepe 24,3 kB JPG Fast forward 15 years >my parents get a dog for the first time >it's a small puppy >they occasionally smack the puppy to discipline it, e.g. if he pees in the house Fast forward 2 years >the dog is now one of the most well behaved dogs in the whole neighborhood >my brother is a drug addict I f------ hate normies and their hypocricy

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Anon trusts the science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NOU94QGN 08/28/21(Sat)11:20:28 No.336511053 >hey >hey guys >hey guys, get this >if you separate your garbage into plastic, paper and glass >if you stop driving your car and UCN 231 KB PNG use public transport instead >if you stop eating meat >if you pay your government more taxes (actually, this one is the most important one) >your government >your government >get this >your government >your government will reduce the temperature of the planet
: Anonymous (ID: NOU94QGN 08/28/21(Sat)11:20:28 No.336511053 >hey >hey guys >hey guys, get this >if you separate your garbage into plastic, paper and glass >if you stop driving your car and UCN 231 KB PNG use public transport instead >if you stop eating meat >if you pay your government more taxes (actually, this one is the most important one) >your government >your government >get this >your government >your government will reduce the temperature of the planet

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Anon is a man of culture | /r/Greentext


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Anon lacks any social skills | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)22:17:50 No.65158525 >new girl at work >4'9 zoomer >doesnt wear shoes at her desk >wore the same shorts for 3 days this week >sits like pic related in her chair >85% of the time i look at her shes 138 KB JPG laughing and trying to hide it >continually f---- up but nobody says anything i want to ask if she knows where babies come from because she seems so god damn retarded 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)22:17:50 No.65158525 >new girl at work >4'9 zoomer >doesnt wear shoes at her desk >wore the same shorts for 3 days this week >sits like pic related in her chair >85% of the time i look at her shes 138 KB JPG laughing and trying to hide it >continually f---- up but nobody says anything i want to ask if she knows where babies come from because she seems so god damn retarded 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon still an virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)20:17:38 No.861928605 I just felt the inside of a vagina with my penis but Im still a virgin. Let me explain >Girl uses her hands to spread vagina >l put my erect penis in. >She allows her p---- to close 188 KB JPG >feels wet and warm >feelsgoodman >She Spreads it again >l pull out like a ship leaving dock I didnt penetrate her, nor did I thrust, so Im still a virgin. Checkmate View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)20:17:38 No.861928605 I just felt the inside of a vagina with my penis but Im still a virgin. Let me explain >Girl uses her hands to spread vagina >l put my erect penis in. >She allows her p---- to close 188 KB JPG >feels wet and warm >feelsgoodman >She Spreads it again >l pull out like a ship leaving dock I didnt penetrate her, nor did I thrust, so Im still a virgin. Checkmate View Thread

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Anon made it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 minutes ago 53549518 >finally managed to go on a date that went well >she wanted to f--- >couldn't get hard due to nerves/ p--- brain >tell her l'm sorry I think I'm just nervous >she told me it's alright and blew me until I came >joked around and told her next time I see her l'll just take a generic viagra (was serious though) >she told me that won't help with my nerves and not to worry >she's still talking to me after I kinda made it bros? 4 REPLIES vv 33 minutes ago 53549528 Yep, go for it, she seems nice enough desu senpai 1 REPLY Anonymous 29 minutes ago 53549570 >>53549518 (OP) You did your best anon, proud of you bud
Anonymous 34 minutes ago 53549518 >finally managed to go on a date that went well >she wanted to f--- >couldn't get hard due to nerves/ p--- brain >tell her l'm sorry I think I'm just nervous >she told me it's alright and blew me until I came >joked around and told her next time I see her l'll just take a generic viagra (was serious though) >she told me that won't help with my nerves and not to worry >she's still talking to me after I kinda made it bros? 4 REPLIES vv 33 minutes ago 53549528 Yep, go for it, she seems nice enough desu senpai 1 REPLY Anonymous 29 minutes ago 53549570 >>53549518 (OP) You did your best anon, proud of you bud

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Anon has autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)00:12:42 No.861934771 >be me watching daredevil >i really like the show >get the idea to walk around the house with my eyes closed >i started bumping into stuff frequently at first but now i can eat, sit, do dishes, shower, etc with my 80 KB JPG eyes closed >sometimes l'll still bump into stuff but yeah I've memorized my entire house >now i gotta wait for radioactive waste to fall into my eyes 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)00:12:42 No.861934771 >be me watching daredevil >i really like the show >get the idea to walk around the house with my eyes closed >i started bumping into stuff frequently at first but now i can eat, sit, do dishes, shower, etc with my 80 KB JPG eyes closed >sometimes l'll still bump into stuff but yeah I've memorized my entire house >now i gotta wait for radioactive waste to fall into my eyes 3 Replies View Thread

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anon trusts incels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous08/28/21(Sat)03:59:51 No.861947717 jesus christ why am i like this? >be me >not the hottest guy but not ugly or anything >see people talking about falling in love with girls who 54 KB JPG show the slightest attention >see them get rejected because the girl was just being nice >thatwontbeme.png >meet girl >7/10 qt >we exchange phone numbers and play minecraft together >pretty sure she had a crush on me >remember 4chan comrades >immediately disregard all hints she gave me because "she's just being nice" >she meets a new guy and we grow apart >years later we see eachother in a restaurant >talk to her for a bit "yeah anon funny enough i had the biggest crush on you and i tried telling you but i guess you never seemed interested" the one f------ time i trust you retards
: Anonymous08/28/21(Sat)03:59:51 No.861947717 jesus christ why am i like this? >be me >not the hottest guy but not ugly or anything >see people talking about falling in love with girls who 54 KB JPG show the slightest attention >see them get rejected because the girl was just being nice >thatwontbeme.png >meet girl >7/10 qt >we exchange phone numbers and play minecraft together >pretty sure she had a crush on me >remember 4chan comrades >immediately disregard all hints she gave me because "she's just being nice" >she meets a new guy and we grow apart >years later we see eachother in a restaurant >talk to her for a bit "yeah anon funny enough i had the biggest crush on you and i tried telling you but i guess you never seemed interested" the one f------ time i trust you retards

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Anons sister is a whore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)15:04:36 No.65153811 >let sister log into instagram on my phone >snoop her messages >she told her friends she got fingered by a guy she just met We live in a society 186 KB JPG Don't know what I expected, but I thought she was better than that. Even if she wasn't why couldn't it be me? View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)15:04:36 No.65153811 >let sister log into instagram on my phone >snoop her messages >she told her friends she got fingered by a guy she just met We live in a society 186 KB JPG Don't know what I expected, but I thought she was better than that. Even if she wasn't why couldn't it be me? View Thread

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Anon is clueless | /r/Greentext

: How to be less retarded ;[ 08/27/21(Fri)11:06:34 No.65151450 >be me >20 years old f------ incel. >never have any relationships before, keep on saying "i focus on my carreer" complaining why the f--- i dont have a relationship. >one day, i chat with my bro who 11 KB JPG happens to be a chad, complaining i dont have a girlfriend etc... > reveal my crush to my bro > bro shocked. > me: why? confused.jpg > turns out that girl was into me, w--.jpg > turns out i have been ignoring her without me noticing > quickly check her fb page, base on the profile status she already has moved on. > feel like s---, wanting to off my self, > then realized, that in the past other girls also have acted like that to me > wanting to off my self even more > is this the price for being a 4chan autist 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: How to be less retarded ;[ 08/27/21(Fri)11:06:34 No.65151450 >be me >20 years old f------ incel. >never have any relationships before, keep on saying "i focus on my carreer" complaining why the f--- i dont have a relationship. >one day, i chat with my bro who 11 KB JPG happens to be a chad, complaining i dont have a girlfriend etc... > reveal my crush to my bro > bro shocked. > me: why? confused.jpg > turns out that girl was into me, w--.jpg > turns out i have been ignoring her without me noticing > quickly check her fb page, base on the profile status she already has moved on. > feel like s---, wanting to off my self, > then realized, that in the past other girls also have acted like that to me > wanting to off my self even more > is this the price for being a 4chan autist 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon goes to McDonald’s | /r/Greentext

I had a really weird dream guys >Вe me >In parking lot of a shopping center i regularly visit >See a sign for mcdonald's >Find that weird because there's never 231 KB PNG been a McDonald's in this area >Walk over to get some food because I am hungry >Go inside an entrance, there are no doors to get in, when I walk in it looks like a combination of a really s----- greyhound bus station and really s----- park benches that haven't been touched since the 90s >There's some white crackhead woman sitting at one of the tables, she yells at me saying "this isn't where you order" >l walk back outside, and go around the corner of the building, I see a window in the wall basically >There's some really ghetto black buy behind some iron rails and other security s--- over the window, you can visibly see all sorts of food just lying on a metal counter back there >Ask for a "crispy chicken sandwich" >He responds "you mean a filet-o-chicken" >Yeah sure >Go back to dining area >Large black woman asks if I got fries, tell her no >Eventually guy who takes my order comes with a paper bag. Casually pulls out a gun and shoots white woman, no one reacts at all >Guy hands me my sandwich >Ask how much I owe him >Responds "all your debts have been forgiven" >He drags the corpse of white woman away >Take bite of sandwich >It's disgustingly rotten >Wake up What does this mean?
I had a really weird dream guys >Вe me >In parking lot of a shopping center i regularly visit >See a sign for mcdonald's >Find that weird because there's never 231 KB PNG been a McDonald's in this area >Walk over to get some food because I am hungry >Go inside an entrance, there are no doors to get in, when I walk in it looks like a combination of a really s----- greyhound bus station and really s----- park benches that haven't been touched since the 90s >There's some white crackhead woman sitting at one of the tables, she yells at me saying "this isn't where you order" >l walk back outside, and go around the corner of the building, I see a window in the wall basically >There's some really ghetto black buy behind some iron rails and other security s--- over the window, you can visibly see all sorts of food just lying on a metal counter back there >Ask for a "crispy chicken sandwich" >He responds "you mean a filet-o-chicken" >Yeah sure >Go back to dining area >Large black woman asks if I got fries, tell her no >Eventually guy who takes my order comes with a paper bag. Casually pulls out a gun and shoots white woman, no one reacts at all >Guy hands me my sandwich >Ask how much I owe him >Responds "all your debts have been forgiven" >He drags the corpse of white woman away >Take bite of sandwich >It's disgustingly rotten >Wake up What does this mean?

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I'm speechless | /r/Greentext


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Anon to a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)12:15:39 No.65151535 >be me >start chatting with girl >plan on meeting up >doesnt have time to hang out yet >talk over discord >seems to be going well >both say we are excited to meet each other 519 KB PNG >finallyhastime.jpg >"sorry anon, next week doesnt work we can do the week after tho" II >week after >"im not really sure when I have time, ill tell you when we can plan something" why are females like this View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)12:15:39 No.65151535 >be me >start chatting with girl >plan on meeting up >doesnt have time to hang out yet >talk over discord >seems to be going well >both say we are excited to meet each other 519 KB PNG >finallyhastime.jpg >"sorry anon, next week doesnt work we can do the week after tho" II >week after >"im not really sure when I have time, ill tell you when we can plan something" why are females like this View Thread

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anon inquires | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)02:18:35 No.861918615 >why does every pretty girl have a fat disgusting ugly land whale for a best friend? 29 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)02:18:35 No.861918615 >why does every pretty girl have a fat disgusting ugly land whale for a best friend? 29 KB JPG

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Anon maximises his neetbux | /r/Greentext

How do you maximize your neetbux? >Ask for a large cup of water everytime, refill with soda. >Steal silverware at chain restaurants and sell it on 138 KB GIF Facebook marketplaces once I have enough. >Take condiments >Take backpack into bathrooms with good TP and steal it all. >Have saved every single warranty item and sent it in for a new one at the time of warranty expiration. Did this with some sennheisers, corsair keyboard, monitor. >Torrent all single player games, g2a for multi- player. >Flatmate asked me to fix her internet. Wrote down the router password. Use it when I want to download something big. >Bought a set of tubular picks, anytime I see a vending machine without cameras near by I help myself to a neetbux advance. >Drop ship things >Crypto trade >Collect vintage hand helds from flea markets, garage sales, pawn shops. Flip on eBay for an easy 10-100x profit.
How do you maximize your neetbux? >Ask for a large cup of water everytime, refill with soda. >Steal silverware at chain restaurants and sell it on 138 KB GIF Facebook marketplaces once I have enough. >Take condiments >Take backpack into bathrooms with good TP and steal it all. >Have saved every single warranty item and sent it in for a new one at the time of warranty expiration. Did this with some sennheisers, corsair keyboard, monitor. >Torrent all single player games, g2a for multi- player. >Flatmate asked me to fix her internet. Wrote down the router password. Use it when I want to download something big. >Bought a set of tubular picks, anytime I see a vending machine without cameras near by I help myself to a neetbux advance. >Drop ship things >Crypto trade >Collect vintage hand helds from flea markets, garage sales, pawn shops. Flip on eBay for an easy 10-100x profit.

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Grandpa Joe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)11:56:24 No.861896042 >Be Joe Biden >withdraw troops from Afghanistan overnight before evacuating estimated 15,000-30,000 American citizens. >inadvertently leave the weapons and supply's to the taliban instead of the 172 KB JPG Afghanistan soldiers >they wake up to find the American military completely gone. >ohshit.jpg >run out of ammunition and supply's only to surrender to the taliban >get beheaded >Enjoy a long weekend after poorly conducted military withdrawal leading to the potential deaths of thousands of Afghanistan and American soldiers. >Get asked how you feel about it >hit em with the ol cmon man that was 4-5 days ago. >decide to make it all better >make a list of your favorite People stuck in Afghanistan >give it to the taliban asking them to not hurt them >congratulations you've created a hit list Cheer up Joe Biden it gets better 20 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)11:56:24 No.861896042 >Be Joe Biden >withdraw troops from Afghanistan overnight before evacuating estimated 15,000-30,000 American citizens. >inadvertently leave the weapons and supply's to the taliban instead of the 172 KB JPG Afghanistan soldiers >they wake up to find the American military completely gone. >ohshit.jpg >run out of ammunition and supply's only to surrender to the taliban >get beheaded >Enjoy a long weekend after poorly conducted military withdrawal leading to the potential deaths of thousands of Afghanistan and American soldiers. >Get asked how you feel about it >hit em with the ol cmon man that was 4-5 days ago. >decide to make it all better >make a list of your favorite People stuck in Afghanistan >give it to the taliban asking them to not hurt them >congratulations you've created a hit list Cheer up Joe Biden it gets better 20 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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