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Training grounds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)09:28:22 No.65099193 >Got my first job at some hipster coffee shop >insanely comfy >only problem is the smell and the fact i hate coffee >lifes pretty good 2 KB JPG >thanks for reading
: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)09:28:22 No.65099193 >Got my first job at some hipster coffee shop >insanely comfy >only problem is the smell and the fact i hate coffee >lifes pretty good 2 KB JPG >thanks for reading

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Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: amdEMrT3 )E 08/22/21(Sun)19:52:04 No.335645669 >lost virginity a month ago to some tinder sloot >she was super cute but obviously a total w---- >didn't wear a condom because you guys told me that was a Jewish psyop and straight people can't get aids 750 KB PNG >haven't kept in contact with her since >be me just now >she texts me she's pregnant with a positive pregnancy test I haven't responded yet, wat do?
: Anonymous (ID: amdEMrT3 )E 08/22/21(Sun)19:52:04 No.335645669 >lost virginity a month ago to some tinder sloot >she was super cute but obviously a total w---- >didn't wear a condom because you guys told me that was a Jewish psyop and straight people can't get aids 750 KB PNG >haven't kept in contact with her since >be me just now >she texts me she's pregnant with a positive pregnancy test I haven't responded yet, wat do?

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Anon collects Pokemon cards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.861611277 >be 1999 >be d------- kid >autistically force my parents to spend thousands of dollars to buy silver packet random Pokémon card packets after school everyday. >fill several binders full and 36 KB JPG Tupperware buckets full of these cards because I wanted shiny cards. >2001 rolls around >Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring comes out and I realize how retarded Pokémon was and fall into the depths of Middle Earth and forget about the collection. >be 2021 >friend talks about how a Pokémon card is half a mil and that Logan Paul wears it like a gay autistic chimp. >refuse to believe anyone would pay that much for something so retarded. >head back home and blow the dust off of the Pokémon collection that was all but forgotten about, curious to see what edition my cards were as apparently first edition cards with the gold bordering are the pricy ones. >low and behold they are all first edition and that my autistic collected many copies of all the shiny cards as one was never enough, including shiny spice lizard. >realize this collection is worth more than the house, all the years of tuition, and all the money I've ever earned. Share your d------- luck stories.
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.861611277 >be 1999 >be d------- kid >autistically force my parents to spend thousands of dollars to buy silver packet random Pokémon card packets after school everyday. >fill several binders full and 36 KB JPG Tupperware buckets full of these cards because I wanted shiny cards. >2001 rolls around >Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring comes out and I realize how retarded Pokémon was and fall into the depths of Middle Earth and forget about the collection. >be 2021 >friend talks about how a Pokémon card is half a mil and that Logan Paul wears it like a gay autistic chimp. >refuse to believe anyone would pay that much for something so retarded. >head back home and blow the dust off of the Pokémon collection that was all but forgotten about, curious to see what edition my cards were as apparently first edition cards with the gold bordering are the pricy ones. >low and behold they are all first edition and that my autistic collected many copies of all the shiny cards as one was never enough, including shiny spice lizard. >realize this collection is worth more than the house, all the years of tuition, and all the money I've ever earned. Share your d------- luck stories.

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Anon fake gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)01:14:04 No.861615275 >be me >introvert and loser >no gf and still in high school >horny >riding on the bus >girl talks to me “hi anon!" >look at her in confusion “who are you?" 40 KB PNG >she speaks back "your gf!" >mfw Real?
: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)01:14:04 No.861615275 >be me >introvert and loser >no gf and still in high school >horny >riding on the bus >girl talks to me “hi anon!" >look at her in confusion “who are you?" 40 KB PNG >she speaks back "your gf!" >mfw Real?

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Spiderbro got your back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BUZZZZZzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzZZzZzzzzz(...) 08/17/21(Tue)15:42:42 No.3898993 HAS ONLY 1 DAY OF LIFE >enters house in immediately after door is opened >be loud as f--- and buzz around >land and stop flying as soon as guy gets up to kill you >start flying after guy sits down and gets comfortable again SPENDS IT ALL TROLLING YOU 106 KB PNG >BUUZZZZZZZZZzZzZzzzzzZZZzZzZzzzzzZZZzZ ZZZ : Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)15:52:28 No.3898998 >>3898993 (OP) # >Wrong house 1.57 MB JPG >>3899035 #
: Anonymous BUZZZZZzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzZZzZzzzzz(...) 08/17/21(Tue)15:42:42 No.3898993 HAS ONLY 1 DAY OF LIFE >enters house in immediately after door is opened >be loud as f--- and buzz around >land and stop flying as soon as guy gets up to kill you >start flying after guy sits down and gets comfortable again SPENDS IT ALL TROLLING YOU 106 KB PNG >BUUZZZZZZZZZzZzZzzzzzZZZzZzZzzzzzZZZzZ ZZZ : Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)15:52:28 No.3898998 >>3898993 (OP) # >Wrong house 1.57 MB JPG >>3899035 #

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Boy friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)13:52:18 No.63154308 >At work >They just hired some new girl around my age, works in a different department >We're doing fire training >Standing around outside after fire drill >Start talking to her, topic flows to local restaurants >Mention a local brewery with great beer, she says "Oh yeah, I was there a few weeks ago with my boy-" >Stops dead, looks me up and down >"... this guy I was seeing" Had a hearty internal kek at that. Girls are so thirsty sometimes
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)13:52:18 No.63154308 >At work >They just hired some new girl around my age, works in a different department >We're doing fire training >Standing around outside after fire drill >Start talking to her, topic flows to local restaurants >Mention a local brewery with great beer, she says "Oh yeah, I was there a few weeks ago with my boy-" >Stops dead, looks me up and down >"... this guy I was seeing" Had a hearty internal kek at that. Girls are so thirsty sometimes

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My favorite green text of all time. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an afghan soldier | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (leXUZOqC ) 08/23/21(Mon)10:47:29 No.335673674 >>335667832 (OP)# >be afghan soldier >s--- pay >retarded general who got his position through nepotism keeps stealing your pay >he even steals your f------ food and sells it at the market >the americans that trained you to be the watching eyes of their airforce pull out >taliban attacks >left with two choices >give up some of your freedom or die defending a comically corrupt government that doesnt give a s--- about you doesnt help that the generals being in charge of the troops are drooling retards, they simply don't have a single shred of trust in any of their leaders.
: Anonymous (ID: (leXUZOqC ) 08/23/21(Mon)10:47:29 No.335673674 >>335667832 (OP)# >be afghan soldier >s--- pay >retarded general who got his position through nepotism keeps stealing your pay >he even steals your f------ food and sells it at the market >the americans that trained you to be the watching eyes of their airforce pull out >taliban attacks >left with two choices >give up some of your freedom or die defending a comically corrupt government that doesnt give a s--- about you doesnt help that the generals being in charge of the troops are drooling retards, they simply don't have a single shred of trust in any of their leaders.

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Anon has a vagina | /r/Greentext

File: dtired.jpg (34 KB, 504x466) O Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)00:30:41 No.65092066 >>65092081 >>65092082 >>650 >online friend finds out you're a girl >conversations shift from normal games and escapism stuff >nonstop asking about what you look like, what you sound like, pictures >no longer treated as a person, just horny projections i guess i should just cut things off and learn my lesson O Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)00:31:15 No.65092074 Haha dumb p-----haver Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)00:31:49 No.65092081 >>65092066 (OP) No one cares about you or your problems. Post your t--- or GTFO
File: dtired.jpg (34 KB, 504x466) O Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)00:30:41 No.65092066 >>65092081 >>65092082 >>650 >online friend finds out you're a girl >conversations shift from normal games and escapism stuff >nonstop asking about what you look like, what you sound like, pictures >no longer treated as a person, just horny projections i guess i should just cut things off and learn my lesson O Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)00:31:15 No.65092074 Haha dumb p-----haver Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)00:31:49 No.65092081 >>65092066 (OP) No one cares about you or your problems. Post your t--- or GTFO

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I relay the tale of the shit-diddler | /r/Greentext


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ΣAnon meets Stacy | /r/Greentext

File: avatars-JinSVqyNLhx1tPzL-(..jpg (34 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)14:32:37 No.861622141 >be me >in a party >2am >drunk stacy hold my hand >takes me to a quiet room >FlashBooba >"Are you hard Daddy boy!" >*smirk* >No >Leave >Pic related
File: avatars-JinSVqyNLhx1tPzL-(..jpg (34 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)14:32:37 No.861622141 >be me >in a party >2am >drunk stacy hold my hand >takes me to a quiet room >FlashBooba >"Are you hard Daddy boy!" >*smirk* >No >Leave >Pic related

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Anon is bullied | /r/Greentext


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Anon made it | /r/Greentext

Im just tired. >Be me >28 yo autist >Made it with crypto/dropshipping/stocks back in 2018 >Instantly isolate myself from everyone. >Family starts to demand money. People from highschool who i didnt even remember were calling me to hang out. Local women started get into my DMs. >Cut my family off and bought a house in a tax heaven. Nobody in my family knows about all the money i have now(x10 since 2018) or where i live. >I have more than x50 of The money i need to live the rest of my life. >Still dont go out, no car, no gf. >All i do is watch anime and j------- to weird p---. Help me /biz. Can you guys give me advice on hobbys or something? l'm sick of browsing this board all day.
Im just tired. >Be me >28 yo autist >Made it with crypto/dropshipping/stocks back in 2018 >Instantly isolate myself from everyone. >Family starts to demand money. People from highschool who i didnt even remember were calling me to hang out. Local women started get into my DMs. >Cut my family off and bought a house in a tax heaven. Nobody in my family knows about all the money i have now(x10 since 2018) or where i live. >I have more than x50 of The money i need to live the rest of my life. >Still dont go out, no car, no gf. >All i do is watch anime and j------- to weird p---. Help me /biz. Can you guys give me advice on hobbys or something? l'm sick of browsing this board all day.

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Anon had been reported. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a gamer | /r/Greentext

1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out l'm not a registered student >get escorted out
1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out l'm not a registered student >get escorted out

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Anon's first time | /r/Greentext

What should l do r9k #1, No. 65090062 1 ora fa pepe_0 JPG 1280x720 56,5 kB >have virginity losing party/threesome with two fembots >c-- inside both of them repeatedly, we were all super horny >both are now pregnant >twins for both of them >they don't want abortions >l'm 22 they are 21 and 19 >none of us graduated hs and are all neets 2 replies #2, No. 65090794 47 minuti fa >>65090062 (OP) quit larping your fantasies anon
What should l do r9k #1, No. 65090062 1 ora fa pepe_0 JPG 1280x720 56,5 kB >have virginity losing party/threesome with two fembots >c-- inside both of them repeatedly, we were all super horny >both are now pregnant >twins for both of them >they don't want abortions >l'm 22 they are 21 and 19 >none of us graduated hs and are all neets 2 replies #2, No. 65090794 47 minuti fa >>65090062 (OP) quit larping your fantasies anon

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Anon Has Gamer Problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)23:21:55 No.65083362 >go downstairs for water >"Well look who came out of his hole" Why are dads like this? 677 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)23:21:55 No.65083362 >go downstairs for water >"Well look who came out of his hole" Why are dads like this? 677 KB JPG

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Tendiebot is based | /r/Greentext

>be me >get home from my vasectomy >hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room >must be Chad again >know they would want privacy, sit down 39 KB PNG at my computer >log onto reddit and open r/greentext >read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her >think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext >suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >Fake: The girl, Gay: Anon >giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment >hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed >it's been a good day >i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his c-- out of my wife's p---- if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me >get home from my vasectomy >hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room >must be Chad again >know they would want privacy, sit down 39 KB PNG at my computer >log onto reddit and open r/greentext >read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her >think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext >suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >Fake: The girl, Gay: Anon >giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment >hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed >it's been a good day >i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his c-- out of my wife's p---- if he finds my comment funny enough

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Anon sneezes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:30:46 No.2237410 >live alone >random afternoon >about to sneeze >nuclearblast.mp3 >that felt good ngl >phone rings >pick it up >"bless you" >mysterio hangs up the phone >tfw
Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:30:46 No.2237410 >live alone >random afternoon >about to sneeze >nuclearblast.mp3 >that felt good ngl >phone rings >pick it up >"bless you" >mysterio hangs up the phone >tfw

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Anon gets lucky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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