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Anon misses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: +HSrPhs8) 02/27/13(Wed)17:34:30 No.461742905 BATILESHIP >Be 17 >Miss 87 KB JPG
Anonymous (ID: +HSrPhs8) 02/27/13(Wed)17:34:30 No.461742905 BATILESHIP >Be 17 >Miss 87 KB JPG

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Anon goes on a bus | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/09/20(Wed)15:29:48 No.6130847 >>61307781 (OP) >be me >waiting at bus station >bus arrives >get on bus >reach destination >get off bus
Anonymous 12/09/20(Wed)15:29:48 No.6130847 >>61307781 (OP) >be me >waiting at bus station >bus arrives >get on bus >reach destination >get off bus

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Anon tries a new game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/29/18(Mon)08:02:19 No.48982685 >heard No Man's Sky is finally good. >bought copy and start up game >found random generated planet to NO MAN'S SKY land >suddenly ship crash lands >must be part of game 16 KB JPG >everything black >character finally opens eyes >suddenly riding behind cart >"Hey, you. You're finally awake." >gdi todd howard.
: Anonymous 10/29/18(Mon)08:02:19 No.48982685 >heard No Man's Sky is finally good. >bought copy and start up game >found random generated planet to NO MAN'S SKY land >suddenly ship crash lands >must be part of game 16 KB JPG >everything black >character finally opens eyes >suddenly riding behind cart >"Hey, you. You're finally awake." >gdi todd howard.

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Anon uses Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)06:55:42 No.859101533 3 e 12 Awards Jobn't 4 2.8k 3 FFDBC823-AA78-49CF-97F5-21AFCC78FFE2.jpg 52 KB JPG >oh boy time to buy gold to tell a fellow Redditor that he did a goodthink
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)06:55:42 No.859101533 3 e 12 Awards Jobn't 4 2.8k 3 FFDBC823-AA78-49CF-97F5-21AFCC78FFE2.jpg 52 KB JPG >oh boy time to buy gold to tell a fellow Redditor that he did a goodthink

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Anon does a good deed | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ |Auto] File: image_2021-08-06_003652.png (484 KB, 2894x2300) I Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)19:46:21 No.64851589 >be me >in highschool >decide to give the quiet kid a chance, he seems alright >my friend and i approach him "hey dude yeah wassup u alright" >he has like no one to talk to he gives in >6 months go by, we are talking like usual >since i like to talk to lots of different people, people always come to talk to me >also, since quiet kid has no one he just kinda sticks by me most times >overtime, we talk less; other people see that he is likeable and hang out with him at school >eventually, we stop talking >no problem, my main intention was for him to have friends anyway fast forward months later >schools ended >check his instagram story >its him and his friends from our old highschool hanging out >see it quite frequently now >proud of him mission passed, glad that he actually has friends now
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ |Auto] File: image_2021-08-06_003652.png (484 KB, 2894x2300) I Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)19:46:21 No.64851589 >be me >in highschool >decide to give the quiet kid a chance, he seems alright >my friend and i approach him "hey dude yeah wassup u alright" >he has like no one to talk to he gives in >6 months go by, we are talking like usual >since i like to talk to lots of different people, people always come to talk to me >also, since quiet kid has no one he just kinda sticks by me most times >overtime, we talk less; other people see that he is likeable and hang out with him at school >eventually, we stop talking >no problem, my main intention was for him to have friends anyway fast forward months later >schools ended >check his instagram story >its him and his friends from our old highschool hanging out >see it quite frequently now >proud of him mission passed, glad that he actually has friends now

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Anon doesnt like the homeless guy | /r/Greentext

>15 minutes ago >at gas station >walking to my car from the bathroom >disheveled looking grease ball approaches me >ask if i can spare a dollar >tell him i dont have cash but i offer to buy 23 KB JPG him a drink and something to eat >he agrees and we head into the store >grab the biggest bottle of water i can find and a big ass bag of trail mix >he comes from another aisle carrying a 2 liter of mountain dew >tell him i am only gonna buy him water >he roles his eyes and says to forget about it W-- is this guys problem. i literally was about to buy him 1200 calories of trail mix and a days water worth of water and because he couldn't get mountain dew he decided it wasn't worth it. i genuinely hope that guy gets hit by a car panhandling
>15 minutes ago >at gas station >walking to my car from the bathroom >disheveled looking grease ball approaches me >ask if i can spare a dollar >tell him i dont have cash but i offer to buy 23 KB JPG him a drink and something to eat >he agrees and we head into the store >grab the biggest bottle of water i can find and a big ass bag of trail mix >he comes from another aisle carrying a 2 liter of mountain dew >tell him i am only gonna buy him water >he roles his eyes and says to forget about it W-- is this guys problem. i literally was about to buy him 1200 calories of trail mix and a days water worth of water and because he couldn't get mountain dew he decided it wasn't worth it. i genuinely hope that guy gets hit by a car panhandling

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4chan with the right ideas | /r/Greentext

File: 1408454892908.jpg (90 KB, 866x1300) O Anonymous 01/07/16(Thu)19:14:19 No.25578008 [Reply] >>25578060 >haven't taken a d--- pic in f------ years >think my d--- has grown since last I took photos >borrow my mums ipad >take several photos of it >planning to move them to my HDD and just delete them off her ipad before she comes home >just found out she has f------ automatic iCloud upload services on >s--- has been uploading my d--- pics to all her b------- devices and facebook since I was taking them >her fb wall is covered in like 20 of my d--- pics, some where you can see my face I'm done, see you guys in the next life Anonymous 01/07/16(Thu)19:16:36 No.25578065 Kill yourself before she confronts you, everyone will think you knew what you were doing and decided to post d--- pics to your moms facebook as a final act instead of leaving a suicide note, it will be funny as f---.
File: 1408454892908.jpg (90 KB, 866x1300) O Anonymous 01/07/16(Thu)19:14:19 No.25578008 [Reply] >>25578060 >haven't taken a d--- pic in f------ years >think my d--- has grown since last I took photos >borrow my mums ipad >take several photos of it >planning to move them to my HDD and just delete them off her ipad before she comes home >just found out she has f------ automatic iCloud upload services on >s--- has been uploading my d--- pics to all her b------- devices and facebook since I was taking them >her fb wall is covered in like 20 of my d--- pics, some where you can see my face I'm done, see you guys in the next life Anonymous 01/07/16(Thu)19:16:36 No.25578065 Kill yourself before she confronts you, everyone will think you knew what you were doing and decided to post d--- pics to your moms facebook as a final act instead of leaving a suicide note, it will be funny as f---.

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Ages like fine wine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 51 KB JPG you go home and hear that biden won anyway and all of your favorite twitter news sources named like Patriot Newsman Of the West with avatars of roman statues have posted your photo online and are labeling you a "gay communist antifa actor." then the next day the god emperor you pasted into warhammer memes puts out a video cucking himself and bending the knee. "i'm sorry, those were heinous acts! p-please let me tweet again jack!!" you can't leave dc because the airlines have dubbed you a flight risk. you can't stay because the cops are actively looking for you after one of their own died. your roommate at the only hotel that would accept you is a guy named based_kekistani1488 who wants to show you his goblin slayer torrents. the sun is going down and you're getting cold.
: Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 51 KB JPG you go home and hear that biden won anyway and all of your favorite twitter news sources named like Patriot Newsman Of the West with avatars of roman statues have posted your photo online and are labeling you a "gay communist antifa actor." then the next day the god emperor you pasted into warhammer memes puts out a video cucking himself and bending the knee. "i'm sorry, those were heinous acts! p-please let me tweet again jack!!" you can't leave dc because the airlines have dubbed you a flight risk. you can't stay because the cops are actively looking for you after one of their own died. your roommate at the only hotel that would accept you is a guy named based_kekistani1488 who wants to show you his goblin slayer torrents. the sun is going down and you're getting cold.

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anon spots a van | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ Auto] File: 80B3C831-838C-4647-AA4A-1...).jpg (48 KB, 793x786) Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)17:22:02 No.860402695 >be me >sitting on front porch smoking a c-------- >little kids playing across the street >van pulls up >grabs one of the kids and speeds off >I start screaming “MODS! MODS! MODS!" >nothing happens >mfw
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ Auto] File: 80B3C831-838C-4647-AA4A-1...).jpg (48 KB, 793x786) Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)17:22:02 No.860402695 >be me >sitting on front porch smoking a c-------- >little kids playing across the street >van pulls up >grabs one of the kids and speeds off >I start screaming “MODS! MODS! MODS!" >nothing happens >mfw

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Anon becomes racist | /r/Greentext

>be me >7ylo >Don't really understand why people are racist towards gypseys (equivalent to nigs in my country) >Even be anti racist >Gipsey n------ steal the f------ grate in front of our garage, gaining like a three dollars for it, and making a huge nusence for us >All in the light of day, in a horse-ridden carriage, in the centre of the capital city >Become racist
>be me >7ylo >Don't really understand why people are racist towards gypseys (equivalent to nigs in my country) >Even be anti racist >Gipsey n------ steal the f------ grate in front of our garage, gaining like a three dollars for it, and making a huge nusence for us >All in the light of day, in a horse-ridden carriage, in the centre of the capital city >Become racist

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Who doesn't love Bob Ross? | /r/Greentext

Funny story >had gf at time. Be sleeping together 37 KB JPG >having dream about fighting. Throwing hooks but it's like l've got the brakes on >apparently making agitated noises and saying "eat s---" in my sleep >gf decides to wake me up thinking I'm having a nightmare >she snaps me out of my dream right as I'm throwing a punch >unload a full force left hook right into her stomach >she rolls of the bed winded >l snap up still confused >scream "eat s--- bob Ross" at the top of my lungs >hear my gf sucking wind and laughing her ass off at the same time
Funny story >had gf at time. Be sleeping together 37 KB JPG >having dream about fighting. Throwing hooks but it's like l've got the brakes on >apparently making agitated noises and saying "eat s---" in my sleep >gf decides to wake me up thinking I'm having a nightmare >she snaps me out of my dream right as I'm throwing a punch >unload a full force left hook right into her stomach >she rolls of the bed winded >l snap up still confused >scream "eat s--- bob Ross" at the top of my lungs >hear my gf sucking wind and laughing her ass off at the same time

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instructions not clear | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do a 100 KB JPG problem, put a smile face >middle of test >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week
: Anonymous 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do a 100 KB JPG problem, put a smile face >middle of test >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week

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Anon is a struggler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)16:31:54 No.64845165 >be hs dropout NEET >kicked out of house at 19 >need to work >start doing uber because no requirements >make around $18 hr before gas, not a bad gig 11 KB JPG >rent is 1k, spend 1/3 of earnings paying it >ok >oh s---, car needs new tires >$600 >in debt >ok l'll just work to pay it off >get into an accident, minor scratches >file report, say I was doing uber >insurance wont cover rideshare, 3k in damages owed >my job put me in debt and i'll probably be homeless It's all f----- anons. Seems I just can't get ahead
: Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)16:31:54 No.64845165 >be hs dropout NEET >kicked out of house at 19 >need to work >start doing uber because no requirements >make around $18 hr before gas, not a bad gig 11 KB JPG >rent is 1k, spend 1/3 of earnings paying it >ok >oh s---, car needs new tires >$600 >in debt >ok l'll just work to pay it off >get into an accident, minor scratches >file report, say I was doing uber >insurance wont cover rideshare, 3k in damages owed >my job put me in debt and i'll probably be homeless It's all f----- anons. Seems I just can't get ahead

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Anon Has Never Touched a Boob | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)11:20:27 No.64683942 >Girl tells me I have a "right-wing" face What does that even mean? 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)11:20:27 No.64683942 >Girl tells me I have a "right-wing" face What does that even mean? 62 KB JPG

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Anon discovers someone’s fetish | /r/Greentext

Tech support horror thread? Tech support horror thread. Share your stories. >be me >work at mid-sized software company >IT support >some new guy gets a job as a programmer >claims he has worked at very big projects before >can't name them >fast forward 2 weeks >calls me and claims his computer is crashing every few minutes >walk up to his desk and watch him work until it crashes again >have leenux on a stick with me at all times >boot it up >ask him if he's been visiting any kind of not-so-legit websites >"No man, I'm clean" >gets sweaty and nervous once I browse trough the personal files >Downloads folder has multiple zip's with cryptic names inside them >"I dunno man, they were always there" >one of them is 163GB big >opening it takes almost 10 minutes >tons of folders with russian names >all of them are filled with videos of sheeps being shaved for whatever reason
Tech support horror thread? Tech support horror thread. Share your stories. >be me >work at mid-sized software company >IT support >some new guy gets a job as a programmer >claims he has worked at very big projects before >can't name them >fast forward 2 weeks >calls me and claims his computer is crashing every few minutes >walk up to his desk and watch him work until it crashes again >have leenux on a stick with me at all times >boot it up >ask him if he's been visiting any kind of not-so-legit websites >"No man, I'm clean" >gets sweaty and nervous once I browse trough the personal files >Downloads folder has multiple zip's with cryptic names inside them >"I dunno man, they were always there" >one of them is 163GB big >opening it takes almost 10 minutes >tons of folders with russian names >all of them are filled with videos of sheeps being shaved for whatever reason

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Anon drinks orange juice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)15:33:27 No.860415501 >story from childhood >be 8 >playing lego with friend at his house >tell me if i drink orange juice before sleep i will have awesome dreams >be amazed 34 KB JPG >go home >take big bottle of orange juice >drink half of it >go to bed >fall asleep >no dreams >wake up at 3am >p----- my bed f--- you Eric : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)15:36:29 No.860415650 yeah f--- you eric : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)15:38:31 No.860415752 >>860415501 (OP)# Eric the f----- strikes again! 10 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)15:33:27 No.860415501 >story from childhood >be 8 >playing lego with friend at his house >tell me if i drink orange juice before sleep i will have awesome dreams >be amazed 34 KB JPG >go home >take big bottle of orange juice >drink half of it >go to bed >fall asleep >no dreams >wake up at 3am >p----- my bed f--- you Eric : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)15:36:29 No.860415650 yeah f--- you eric : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)15:38:31 No.860415752 >>860415501 (OP)# Eric the f----- strikes again! 10 KB JPG

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Anon plays with mods | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd

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Anon plays D&D | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)12:54:28 No.860407447 > Be me > Working on D&D character > Grandfather walks in > "F--- is this?" He says > "D&D stuff" > "Oh. I thought it was a job application." 112 KB JPG > Mfw : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)12:55:50 No.860407515 : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)12:56:30 No.860407550 >>860407447 (OP) # Get a job OP DVER900O keks 297 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)12:54:28 No.860407447 > Be me > Working on D&D character > Grandfather walks in > "F--- is this?" He says > "D&D stuff" > "Oh. I thought it was a job application." 112 KB JPG > Mfw : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)12:55:50 No.860407515 : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)12:56:30 No.860407550 >>860407447 (OP) # Get a job OP DVER900O keks 297 KB PNG

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Anon is Sheldon Cooper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)21:34:41 No.64841357 >Person says they will become my "slave" and no longer want free will >Say I will torture them by forcing them to read long tedious books on technical %3D subjects and test them on it >They stop talking to me and unfriend me 54 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)21:34:41 No.64841357 >Person says they will become my "slave" and no longer want free will >Say I will torture them by forcing them to read long tedious books on technical %3D subjects and test them on it >They stop talking to me and unfriend me 54 KB JPG

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Anon’s cat is dead | /r/Greentext

>be me >be 17 >be in the living room listening to music >hear my mom screaming from the other room > go in and see my mom sobbing on the floor 219 KB JPG > come closer and see my cats dead body on the floor > she explains that he was on the counter, had a seizure, and fell into the waterdish > my other cat comes over and pats him, wondering why he's not moving > it was the saddest thing I've ever seen > my dad and sister come home mom mom tells them the news > they both start crying > l've never seen my dad cry before > my sister goes up to her room > the rest of the family is in the room spending our final moments with him > he died way too soon > he was such a good cat > I'm going to miss him scratching at my door in the middle of the night > so long partner
>be me >be 17 >be in the living room listening to music >hear my mom screaming from the other room > go in and see my mom sobbing on the floor 219 KB JPG > come closer and see my cats dead body on the floor > she explains that he was on the counter, had a seizure, and fell into the waterdish > my other cat comes over and pats him, wondering why he's not moving > it was the saddest thing I've ever seen > my dad and sister come home mom mom tells them the news > they both start crying > l've never seen my dad cry before > my sister goes up to her room > the rest of the family is in the room spending our final moments with him > he died way too soon > he was such a good cat > I'm going to miss him scratching at my door in the middle of the night > so long partner

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