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Anon gets vaccinated | /r/Greentext

>Go to get vaccinated >There's one guy holding a sign outside the pharmacy shouting that the vaccine is filled with nanomachines. Not your usual protest about rna or whatever, this dude was talking Metal Gear lalilulelo s--- >Whatever, get vaccinated. Guy isn't there when I go back outside, probably got escorted away by 15 KB JPG cops, idk >Come home, day goes by as usual, except my arm hurts and I develop a headache. >Go to sleep, and have the strangest dream. >In it Bill Gates is drilling a microchip into my brain. He opens his mouth but there's a Zune in it, the Zune plays a recording of his voice, and it's a set of orders, telling me s--- like "you will go and buy milk" but then gets weird like "you will kill the man in red." >Wake up, feel like s---, suddenly remember the crazy guy from yesterday was wearing a red shirt. >M-must be a fever dream >Open my fridge to make cereal, and there's only enough milk for like an eight of an bowl. W-- I absolutely did not know I was out of milk last night. Guys this is weird. What if... What if it's really not a vaccine? What if it's Windows 11? What if.. Windows 11 is us?
>Go to get vaccinated >There's one guy holding a sign outside the pharmacy shouting that the vaccine is filled with nanomachines. Not your usual protest about rna or whatever, this dude was talking Metal Gear lalilulelo s--- >Whatever, get vaccinated. Guy isn't there when I go back outside, probably got escorted away by 15 KB JPG cops, idk >Come home, day goes by as usual, except my arm hurts and I develop a headache. >Go to sleep, and have the strangest dream. >In it Bill Gates is drilling a microchip into my brain. He opens his mouth but there's a Zune in it, the Zune plays a recording of his voice, and it's a set of orders, telling me s--- like "you will go and buy milk" but then gets weird like "you will kill the man in red." >Wake up, feel like s---, suddenly remember the crazy guy from yesterday was wearing a red shirt. >M-must be a fever dream >Open my fridge to make cereal, and there's only enough milk for like an eight of an bowl. W-- I absolutely did not know I was out of milk last night. Guys this is weird. What if... What if it's really not a vaccine? What if it's Windows 11? What if.. Windows 11 is us?

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Anon will come to Brazil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)17:53:49 No.146961837 SLEEK'N'TEARS 1611400158561.jpg 179 KB JPG >watch solo p--- >brazilian >extremely feminine >more feminine than most girls >huge penis why are brazilians like this?
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)17:53:49 No.146961837 SLEEK'N'TEARS 1611400158561.jpg 179 KB JPG >watch solo p--- >brazilian >extremely feminine >more feminine than most girls >huge penis why are brazilians like this?

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Gf plan 06/18/21(Fri)09:36:42 No.64200841 >order pizza to my house every night until I get a lady driver >invite her inside for a coffee >if she says no thanks ask her out for a coffee tomorrow >if she partakes flirt and woo her into going on an actual date 101 KB PNG >Repeat until have gf Will this work? I've tried everything. 23 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)10:20:06 No.64201202 >>64201166 # >'hey want to come in for a coffee real quick? Haha don't worry l'm not a r-----' >Haha don't worry l'm not a r-----' just ditch it Imao don't do that
: Anonymous Gf plan 06/18/21(Fri)09:36:42 No.64200841 >order pizza to my house every night until I get a lady driver >invite her inside for a coffee >if she says no thanks ask her out for a coffee tomorrow >if she partakes flirt and woo her into going on an actual date 101 KB PNG >Repeat until have gf Will this work? I've tried everything. 23 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)10:20:06 No.64201202 >>64201166 # >'hey want to come in for a coffee real quick? Haha don't worry l'm not a r-----' >Haha don't worry l'm not a r-----' just ditch it Imao don't do that

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Anon loves his Country and its People | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am I'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because I'm not. >>105952861 # >>105952864 # >>105952880 # >>105952920 #
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am I'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because I'm not. >>105952861 # >>105952864 # >>105952880 # >>105952920 #

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Anon goes to the museum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:09:39 No.64200593 >go to museum that's finally reopened since pandemic >rule against taking photos because of some copyright b------- >try to sneak one under my coat so tingle 225 KB JPG no one can see >forget to put phone on silent, and made a loud CLICKing sound >angry babushka patrol the museum hired to protect the works hear the sound and loudly demand who it was >screams incomprehensible russian at us, while marching around and interrogating everyone nkvd- style >didn't figure out it was me, but I still walked out of there about to have a nervous breakdown Ffs, where did they get these guys? My town doesn't even have a Russian population.
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:09:39 No.64200593 >go to museum that's finally reopened since pandemic >rule against taking photos because of some copyright b------- >try to sneak one under my coat so tingle 225 KB JPG no one can see >forget to put phone on silent, and made a loud CLICKing sound >angry babushka patrol the museum hired to protect the works hear the sound and loudly demand who it was >screams incomprehensible russian at us, while marching around and interrogating everyone nkvd- style >didn't figure out it was me, but I still walked out of there about to have a nervous breakdown Ffs, where did they get these guys? My town doesn't even have a Russian population.

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Anon leaves a review on steam | /r/Greentext

1574216726259.png 344 KB PNG >Leave a steam review on a small game bashing it with negative rating >Dev replies
1574216726259.png 344 KB PNG >Leave a steam review on a small game bashing it with negative rating >Dev replies

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Anon hates clouds | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a stalker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)16:15:15 No.64189679 >find her new social media account in the same way I doxxed her >delude myself into thinking she is aware of this and is playing some 4D chess with me trying to get my A Let Go attention 46 KB JPG >considering dm'ing her >delusion starts to fade just a bit when I realize she probably has a bf and any day now she will post some pic with him >still wish she was trying to bait me into chatting her and would post some kind of sign on her social medias I wish I wasnt so full of delusion.
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)16:15:15 No.64189679 >find her new social media account in the same way I doxxed her >delude myself into thinking she is aware of this and is playing some 4D chess with me trying to get my A Let Go attention 46 KB JPG >considering dm'ing her >delusion starts to fade just a bit when I realize she probably has a bf and any day now she will post some pic with him >still wish she was trying to bait me into chatting her and would post some kind of sign on her social medias I wish I wasnt so full of delusion.

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Anon runs away | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)19:13:42 No.857078125 my life is oficially ruined guys, I'm typing this from some f------ park l'm sleeping in. I'm too afraid to go back home, my family probably hates me now > thought i was home alone > decide to enjoy myself, it's been like a 122 KB JPG week since my last j------- session > grab my Mia Malkova fleshlight, my 10 inch rubber BBC and my nipple clamps > take the fattest f------ bong rip ever, and begin the preparations to f--- my anus > ffw a few minutes and im naked with a giant ruber c--- up my ass, f------ my fleshlight, and watching blacked > as i get closer to c------ i start moaning loud as f--- > F--- MY WHITE BUSSY DADDY > grandma hears me and comes into my room right as i'm busting a nut breaks down and cries right in front of me > cry too, say sorry > tells me to grab my things and get the f--- out > run what do i do now? I have no job, no friends, and probably no family now 51 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)19:13:42 No.857078125 my life is oficially ruined guys, I'm typing this from some f------ park l'm sleeping in. I'm too afraid to go back home, my family probably hates me now > thought i was home alone > decide to enjoy myself, it's been like a 122 KB JPG week since my last j------- session > grab my Mia Malkova fleshlight, my 10 inch rubber BBC and my nipple clamps > take the fattest f------ bong rip ever, and begin the preparations to f--- my anus > ffw a few minutes and im naked with a giant ruber c--- up my ass, f------ my fleshlight, and watching blacked > as i get closer to c------ i start moaning loud as f--- > F--- MY WHITE BUSSY DADDY > grandma hears me and comes into my room right as i'm busting a nut breaks down and cries right in front of me > cry too, say sorry > tells me to grab my things and get the f--- out > run what do i do now? I have no job, no friends, and probably no family now 51 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon gets his Tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:58:35 No.849733154 >be me >a good boy >eating tendies >a wendys worker cutie girl delivers my dewy >mom tells me to thank her 24 KB JPG >this girl is waifu material >thank you m'lady >she starts yelling that she does not identify as a lady and that her pronouns are them/they >sorry, m'theydy >they gift me a box of tendies >life is good
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:58:35 No.849733154 >be me >a good boy >eating tendies >a wendys worker cutie girl delivers my dewy >mom tells me to thank her 24 KB JPG >this girl is waifu material >thank you m'lady >she starts yelling that she does not identify as a lady and that her pronouns are them/they >sorry, m'theydy >they gift me a box of tendies >life is good

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Five Nights At Twitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)13:45:11 No.123440443 W gh.jpg 13 KB JPG >gets criticized once >f------ retires
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)13:45:11 No.123440443 W gh.jpg 13 KB JPG >gets criticized once >f------ retires

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Anon rants about vapes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)09:39:20 No.64186681 Why did this garbage become popular Crantc Chaar >risk of dying if you dont live in a legal state >vaping in general is sketchy >easiest thing to dilute and mess 226 KB JPG around with cutting costs >easy to fake >appeals to teenagers and dumb asses cause muh candy weed muh trend >leaves tons of f------ trash everywhere F------ dabs and wax and s--- is so much better in every way. The pens are higher quality and safer and more natural basically like smoking weed. But I have to buy this garbage and pens for it because its the only s--- my dispensary sells and I cant smoke inside
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)09:39:20 No.64186681 Why did this garbage become popular Crantc Chaar >risk of dying if you dont live in a legal state >vaping in general is sketchy >easiest thing to dilute and mess 226 KB JPG around with cutting costs >easy to fake >appeals to teenagers and dumb asses cause muh candy weed muh trend >leaves tons of f------ trash everywhere F------ dabs and wax and s--- is so much better in every way. The pens are higher quality and safer and more natural basically like smoking weed. But I have to buy this garbage and pens for it because its the only s--- my dispensary sells and I cant smoke inside

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anon doesn't have anger issues | /r/Greentext

/b/ Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)21:34:34 No.857062324 >playing online fps >get killed by laggy f--- over and over >punch $250 monitor >f------ obliterate it first hit >bite my arm hard af and its now bruised bad 62 KB JPG do I have anger issues or is this normal?
/b/ Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)21:34:34 No.857062324 >playing online fps >get killed by laggy f--- over and over >punch $250 monitor >f------ obliterate it first hit >bite my arm hard af and its now bruised bad 62 KB JPG do I have anger issues or is this normal?

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Anon gets an abortion | /r/Greentext

zach reinert @zachreinerto You can legally kill uninvited guests on your property in Texas but they don't want you to get an abortion which is weird because they're kind of the same thing hmmmm.jpg 45 KB JPG Guess if you were to just shoot the fetus... 104 Replies / 16 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)21:52:35 No.857084636 >>857079375 # >Asked fetus to leave >fetus did not comply >declare fetus intruder >Castle Doctrine now applies >fetus deletus
zach reinert @zachreinerto You can legally kill uninvited guests on your property in Texas but they don't want you to get an abortion which is weird because they're kind of the same thing hmmmm.jpg 45 KB JPG Guess if you were to just shoot the fetus... 104 Replies / 16 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)21:52:35 No.857084636 >>857079375 # >Asked fetus to leave >fetus did not comply >declare fetus intruder >Castle Doctrine now applies >fetus deletus

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Anon listens to Death Grips | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)17:41:14 No.63072691 >convince Mommy to stop by McDonald's drive thru for some nuggies >"welcome to MCdonalds can I take your order?" >'II HAVE THE 20 PIECE NUGGIES AND EXTRA LARGE FRIES! I proclaim 64 KB JPG >"n-now sweetie, thats too much food for y-" >whip out my iphone and start blasting Death Grips- Takyon >"p-p-please sweetheart we talked abou thi-" >TRIPLE SIX FIVE FOUR YUH SUBATOMIC PENETRATION RAPID FIRE THROUGH YOUR SKULL >start bashing my head repeatedly against the windshield >mommy gets me what I ordered and an xtra large oreo mcflurry as compensation
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)17:41:14 No.63072691 >convince Mommy to stop by McDonald's drive thru for some nuggies >"welcome to MCdonalds can I take your order?" >'II HAVE THE 20 PIECE NUGGIES AND EXTRA LARGE FRIES! I proclaim 64 KB JPG >"n-now sweetie, thats too much food for y-" >whip out my iphone and start blasting Death Grips- Takyon >"p-p-please sweetheart we talked abou thi-" >TRIPLE SIX FIVE FOUR YUH SUBATOMIC PENETRATION RAPID FIRE THROUGH YOUR SKULL >start bashing my head repeatedly against the windshield >mommy gets me what I ordered and an xtra large oreo mcflurry as compensation

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Anon has a deep thought | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:40:38 No.64191077 >theres probably a cute blonde girl pooping somewhere right now 50 KB PNG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:43:46 No.64191120 >>64191077 (OP). HHERE I wonder if her poop smells like candy and rainbows 86 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:40:38 No.64191077 >theres probably a cute blonde girl pooping somewhere right now 50 KB PNG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:43:46 No.64191120 >>64191077 (OP). HHERE I wonder if her poop smells like candy and rainbows 86 KB JPG

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Anon uses duckduckgo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)10:48:47 No.857041234 > be me >using duckduck go because privacy >had a urgent coding problem >spent whole night searching for answer, nothing >deadline.jpg >switch back to google >found the answer in 10 seconds F--- you duckduck go and f--- your privacy O Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)11:17:29 No.857042618 Bumping non p--- thread because p--- cringe
Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)10:48:47 No.857041234 > be me >using duckduck go because privacy >had a urgent coding problem >spent whole night searching for answer, nothing >deadline.jpg >switch back to google >found the answer in 10 seconds F--- you duckduck go and f--- your privacy O Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)11:17:29 No.857042618 Bumping non p--- thread because p--- cringe

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Anon pays his crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)04:41:20 No.64183793 >meet crush and her best friend in school >we talk a bit >give both of them 100 euros >they look at each other, laugh and 273 KB JPG go away Did I do something wrong?
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)04:41:20 No.64183793 >meet crush and her best friend in school >we talk a bit >give both of them 100 euros >they look at each other, laugh and 273 KB JPG go away Did I do something wrong?

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Junior mint | /r/Greentext


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Anon beats the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)19:51:11 No.857069998 C5C358C5-39D0-46D5-A091-0400AD407158.jpg 195 KB JPG >witch gets angry with me and curses my bloodline for all eternity >decide to never have kids
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)19:51:11 No.857069998 C5C358C5-39D0-46D5-A091-0400AD407158.jpg 195 KB JPG >witch gets angry with me and curses my bloodline for all eternity >decide to never have kids

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