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Anon goes to the club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:28:59 No.50517462 >Oh, s---, whats good Anon! I didn't know you were coming out to the club tonight! 69 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:30:05 No.50517481 >>50517462 (OP)# >haha what's up my n-----
: Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:28:59 No.50517462 >Oh, s---, whats good Anon! I didn't know you were coming out to the club tonight! 69 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:30:05 No.50517481 >>50517462 (OP)# >haha what's up my n-----

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Anon hates the uk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: TF5W8IEU ) 3 COMFY 09/24/20(Thu)15:38:02 No.278949312 >go looking on google maps for cool random places in the world >live in s------- UK irl >find a random town in the US that feels a lot like Arlen from King of the Hill 53 KB JPG >start going back to this random tiny town in Nebraska with population of like 2k >feel so comfy and nostalgic for something I experienced >tfw they didn't even take it away from me, I never ever had it That is all.
: Anonymous (ID: TF5W8IEU ) 3 COMFY 09/24/20(Thu)15:38:02 No.278949312 >go looking on google maps for cool random places in the world >live in s------- UK irl >find a random town in the US that feels a lot like Arlen from King of the Hill 53 KB JPG >start going back to this random tiny town in Nebraska with population of like 2k >feel so comfy and nostalgic for something I experienced >tfw they didn't even take it away from me, I never ever had it That is all.

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Anon tries to get laid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)10:03:19 No.849174362 >step mom moving stuff in the house >shelf falls over and traps her arm >she yells for my help >"anon, please, help me. I'm stuck." 420 KB JPG >l know exactly where this is going >whip my d--- out >she yells what the f--- >my dad walks in >flips out >they call the cops, I get arested W-- BangBros, you lied to me
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)10:03:19 No.849174362 >step mom moving stuff in the house >shelf falls over and traps her arm >she yells for my help >"anon, please, help me. I'm stuck." 420 KB JPG >l know exactly where this is going >whip my d--- out >she yells what the f--- >my dad walks in >flips out >they call the cops, I get arested W-- BangBros, you lied to me

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Anon attempts to bait people | /r/Greentext

File: 1619698215846.jpg (813 KB, 900x1273) O Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)16:51:15 No.63824872 ► >>63824916 >>63825000 >>63825436 >>63825482 >>63825788 >Hello UWU im a depressed and suicidal woman >can you add me on discord? pretty pleaseeee >sweetyyy im so saaaad..uwu >> Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)16:54:27 No.63824916 >>63825383 File: smart pepe.png (285 KB, 1000x800) >>63824872 (OP) i won't fall for this for the 4th time
File: 1619698215846.jpg (813 KB, 900x1273) O Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)16:51:15 No.63824872 ► >>63824916 >>63825000 >>63825436 >>63825482 >>63825788 >Hello UWU im a depressed and suicidal woman >can you add me on discord? pretty pleaseeee >sweetyyy im so saaaad..uwu >> Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)16:54:27 No.63824916 >>63825383 File: smart pepe.png (285 KB, 1000x800) >>63824872 (OP) i won't fall for this for the 4th time

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Anon gets the support he needs. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)01:57:26 No.20646288 9084BAB6-2752-45E4-98F1-7AA02FA1B196.jpg 113 KB JPG >be cis man >feeling down >go to FtM online support group >post selfies >"omg you're so handsome!!" >"you look so strong" >"how did you get so handsome" >rinse and repeat whenever l'm feeling insecure
: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)01:57:26 No.20646288 9084BAB6-2752-45E4-98F1-7AA02FA1B196.jpg 113 KB JPG >be cis man >feeling down >go to FtM online support group >post selfies >"omg you're so handsome!!" >"you look so strong" >"how did you get so handsome" >rinse and repeat whenever l'm feeling insecure

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first post on here lmao | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/07/19(Wed)00:02:47 No.806524731 >Be me >At school, 12th grade, 18, male, virgin f-- standing in the hallway >hiding in the hallway >take out juul >*puff puff* >9/10 qt3.14 is walking between 34 KB JPG classes >sees me >walks to me >"hey anon can I hit your juul?" >*autism kicks in* uhh, sure yeah *hands juul over* >she hits it a few times >hands it back >"thanks anon" *she walks away* >hit juul >taste her lipstick Tfw we basically f-----. Cya later virgins : Anonymous 08/07/19(Wed)00:05:23 No.806524842 >>806524731 (OP) # >>autism kicks in That made no sense in context, so l'm concluding you're just a f------ summerfag that has seen one too many r/greentext posts >>806524880 #
: Anonymous 08/07/19(Wed)00:02:47 No.806524731 >Be me >At school, 12th grade, 18, male, virgin f-- standing in the hallway >hiding in the hallway >take out juul >*puff puff* >9/10 qt3.14 is walking between 34 KB JPG classes >sees me >walks to me >"hey anon can I hit your juul?" >*autism kicks in* uhh, sure yeah *hands juul over* >she hits it a few times >hands it back >"thanks anon" *she walks away* >hit juul >taste her lipstick Tfw we basically f-----. Cya later virgins : Anonymous 08/07/19(Wed)00:05:23 No.806524842 >>806524731 (OP) # >>autism kicks in That made no sense in context, so l'm concluding you're just a f------ summerfag that has seen one too many r/greentext posts >>806524880 #

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Anon releases a silent killer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)13:52:53 No.63817521 >did a sneaky fart >cute girl suddenly comes round the corner 45 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)13:52:53 No.63817521 >did a sneaky fart >cute girl suddenly comes round the corner 45 KB PNG

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Anon enjoys | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 806863076 4 min. ago >be me >sad, lonely, incel >kms >reincarnate as a dog >owner is qt 3.14 white girl >mfw 80.4 kB JPG 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 806863076 4 min. ago >be me >sad, lonely, incel >kms >reincarnate as a dog >owner is qt 3.14 white girl >mfw 80.4 kB JPG 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon doesn't get the hint | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/19(Wed)17:42:29 No.50829211 this happened a few years ago >have a crush on girl >manage to get her over to my house to watch a movie >we're both on the couch watching it >she grabs my arm and wraps it 40 KB JPG around her so we're cuddled together and she starts leaning into me more >just stay like that for a while, feels good >at some point she gets up and goes to the bathroom >when she comes back to the bathroom i look up and see she doesn't have a shirt or bra on >her t------ are just.. right there and she's looking right at me >brain completely freezes and i'm totally confused >i give her a f------ thumbs up and say nice t--- then go back to watching the movie >she stands there for a few seconds then goes back to the bathroom and puts her bra and shirt back on and watches the rest of the movie like nothing happened i think that is the most autistic moment in my life View Thread
: Anonymous 02/06/19(Wed)17:42:29 No.50829211 this happened a few years ago >have a crush on girl >manage to get her over to my house to watch a movie >we're both on the couch watching it >she grabs my arm and wraps it 40 KB JPG around her so we're cuddled together and she starts leaning into me more >just stay like that for a while, feels good >at some point she gets up and goes to the bathroom >when she comes back to the bathroom i look up and see she doesn't have a shirt or bra on >her t------ are just.. right there and she's looking right at me >brain completely freezes and i'm totally confused >i give her a f------ thumbs up and say nice t--- then go back to watching the movie >she stands there for a few seconds then goes back to the bathroom and puts her bra and shirt back on and watches the rest of the movie like nothing happened i think that is the most autistic moment in my life View Thread

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Anon is a bus driver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)14:43:52 No.855209542 >be me >bus driver >drop kids off 10 houses away from their stop for no reason >refuse to elaborate >drive away 119 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)14:43:52 No.855209542 >be me >bus driver >drop kids off 10 houses away from their stop for no reason >refuse to elaborate >drive away 119 KB JPG

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believe in their existence is like believing in bigfoot. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/11/17(Fri)08:28:00 No.38998496 >ended up getting an autismal gf >she barely ever says anything >i gotta be the one starting up a chat with her every single time >she cant keep to a conversation topic for more than 10mins before she loses her words and has no 33 КВ ЈPG idea what to say anymore >i dont know what to say to her anymore at times and just staying silent together for hours without doing much feels awkward as f---, as if i'm giving her the impression i dislike her or ignore her you f------ lied to me you f------, there's nothing fun about having a dumb socially inept girlfriend. this feels like hell : Anonymous 08/11/17(Fri)08:29:40 No.38998513 >>38998496 (OP) # >unsociable girls This rumored rare breed of girls actually exist? >>38998568 # >>38998573 #
: Anonymous 08/11/17(Fri)08:28:00 No.38998496 >ended up getting an autismal gf >she barely ever says anything >i gotta be the one starting up a chat with her every single time >she cant keep to a conversation topic for more than 10mins before she loses her words and has no 33 КВ ЈPG idea what to say anymore >i dont know what to say to her anymore at times and just staying silent together for hours without doing much feels awkward as f---, as if i'm giving her the impression i dislike her or ignore her you f------ lied to me you f------, there's nothing fun about having a dumb socially inept girlfriend. this feels like hell : Anonymous 08/11/17(Fri)08:29:40 No.38998513 >>38998496 (OP) # >unsociable girls This rumored rare breed of girls actually exist? >>38998568 # >>38998573 #

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Anon improved himself | /r/Greentext

Board /fit/ - Fitness Settings Mobile Home :Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)15:32:48 No.61674368 Finally my time has come. >Be me walking to store >see cutie I used to have a huge crush on in highschool >Tried asking her out once and she laughed and told me she doesn't date 417 KB PNG ugly guys >f------ destroys me.jpg >This is the motivation I've been looking for >Start lifting, dieting, learning how to dress like a person and not a r9k shitshow >2 years later >Girls been miring so I get used to it >Not obsessed with every 5 anymore >Make eye contact with cutie from highschool >She's gained a bit of weight not alot, but not the 8 she was anymore. >l walk into store >She walks in behind me >I'm doing my shopping (gotta get those protein sausages ya know?) >notice she's been staring at me >miring hard.mp4 >Get in line to purchase my sausages >She gets in line behind me >Guy infront of me is some hamplanet who would fall into his own orbit if he tripped >taking forever >"hey anon how have you been" >turn around and smile >"pretty good how about you" >her face lights up >"starts telling me about her life >recently broke up with her boyfriend cause he was cheating on her >God has blessed me today.wav >start chatting up something small, fat f--- ahead of me is fumbling his EBT for twinkies >"Well I can see you've been working out you look really good anon!" >thank her and get my wallet out as it's my turn in line "Hey we should get together later and hangout >Tell her l'll be a bit too busy today to do that >gotta get home and shitpost on /fit/ >she tries to give me her number >Politely decline >she's blown back probably the first time she's been turned down >she asks why >"you're just not really my type" >"oh.. well what is your type?" >this is it boys the time has come >"I'm into pretty girls" >Her face drops >see all visible will to live drain from her face >basedboy cashiers gasps and calls me an a------ >suck it onions >pay for my s--- >can see her fighting back tears >leave store and return home to enjoy my protein Women deserve to feel pain, every single one of them >>61674565 # >>61674778 # >»61675056 # >>61675292 # >>61675317 # >>61675514 #
Board /fit/ - Fitness Settings Mobile Home :Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)15:32:48 No.61674368 Finally my time has come. >Be me walking to store >see cutie I used to have a huge crush on in highschool >Tried asking her out once and she laughed and told me she doesn't date 417 KB PNG ugly guys >f------ destroys me.jpg >This is the motivation I've been looking for >Start lifting, dieting, learning how to dress like a person and not a r9k shitshow >2 years later >Girls been miring so I get used to it >Not obsessed with every 5 anymore >Make eye contact with cutie from highschool >She's gained a bit of weight not alot, but not the 8 she was anymore. >l walk into store >She walks in behind me >I'm doing my shopping (gotta get those protein sausages ya know?) >notice she's been staring at me >miring hard.mp4 >Get in line to purchase my sausages >She gets in line behind me >Guy infront of me is some hamplanet who would fall into his own orbit if he tripped >taking forever >"hey anon how have you been" >turn around and smile >"pretty good how about you" >her face lights up >"starts telling me about her life >recently broke up with her boyfriend cause he was cheating on her >God has blessed me today.wav >start chatting up something small, fat f--- ahead of me is fumbling his EBT for twinkies >"Well I can see you've been working out you look really good anon!" >thank her and get my wallet out as it's my turn in line "Hey we should get together later and hangout >Tell her l'll be a bit too busy today to do that >gotta get home and shitpost on /fit/ >she tries to give me her number >Politely decline >she's blown back probably the first time she's been turned down >she asks why >"you're just not really my type" >"oh.. well what is your type?" >this is it boys the time has come >"I'm into pretty girls" >Her face drops >see all visible will to live drain from her face >basedboy cashiers gasps and calls me an a------ >suck it onions >pay for my s--- >can see her fighting back tears >leave store and return home to enjoy my protein Women deserve to feel pain, every single one of them >>61674565 # >>61674778 # >»61675056 # >>61675292 # >>61675317 # >>61675514 #

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Anon prepares for hurricane with Dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/19(Sun)23:17:39 No.792339734 Greentext thread. tell some stories anons ill start four hundred thousand keks >be me >12 7 KB JPG >going to the store with my dad >just before big hurricane >takes last bread loaf >some lady snatches it from his cart >he tears it back >"buht, whee need it more!" >it was in my cart, just go to a different store or f----- deal >"noe!!! >she takes it, starts running >my 12 year old ass thinks it would be funny if i threw a can of beans at her >hits her head >shes out cold >dad looks at me >I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDNT MEAN TO KNOCK HER OUT >he laughs and picks up the loaf >we leave >made a sandwitch with that bread >f----- lol short story, but ive got others if anyones interested, really long ones tho
: Anonymous 02/10/19(Sun)23:17:39 No.792339734 Greentext thread. tell some stories anons ill start four hundred thousand keks >be me >12 7 KB JPG >going to the store with my dad >just before big hurricane >takes last bread loaf >some lady snatches it from his cart >he tears it back >"buht, whee need it more!" >it was in my cart, just go to a different store or f----- deal >"noe!!! >she takes it, starts running >my 12 year old ass thinks it would be funny if i threw a can of beans at her >hits her head >shes out cold >dad looks at me >I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDNT MEAN TO KNOCK HER OUT >he laughs and picks up the loaf >we leave >made a sandwitch with that bread >f----- lol short story, but ive got others if anyones interested, really long ones tho

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Anon dad walks in | /r/Greentext

>Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD" >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room
>Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD" >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room

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Anon is a Cop! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Oi/IMEH0 ) 04/26/14(Sat)01:38:43 No.543898176 >Вe a cop >Patrolling, doing cop things >See a guy driving like 15 miles below the speed limit >Swerving around like a m----------- 36 KВ JPG >Can see lots of smoke coming out of his windows >Assume he's blazing it, pull him over >Walk up to his window and he rolls it down >He's got a f------ hot plate plugged into his c-------- lighter >M----------- is making pancakes while driving and burned them
Anonymous (ID: Oi/IMEH0 ) 04/26/14(Sat)01:38:43 No.543898176 >Вe a cop >Patrolling, doing cop things >See a guy driving like 15 miles below the speed limit >Swerving around like a m----------- 36 KВ JPG >Can see lots of smoke coming out of his windows >Assume he's blazing it, pull him over >Walk up to his window and he rolls it down >He's got a f------ hot plate plugged into his c-------- lighter >M----------- is making pancakes while driving and burned them

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Canadanon laments his misfortune (x-post from r/4chan) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I•1 10/25/17(Wed)18:23:22 No.81016259 1507072835073.png 559 KB PNG >There are infinite universes where I have a gf >This isn't one of them
: Anonymous I•1 10/25/17(Wed)18:23:22 No.81016259 1507072835073.png 559 KB PNG >There are infinite universes where I have a gf >This isn't one of them

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Anon losses virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/18(Wed)11:41:29 No.43843728 >be me >In class >Have math and sit behind 7/10 qt >Ass big af >Get boner Funnyam.coml 5 KB JPG >She drops her pen under my table >Fuckity she noticed boner >Look at me >Smiles Later virgins
: Anonymous 03/14/18(Wed)11:41:29 No.43843728 >be me >In class >Have math and sit behind 7/10 qt >Ass big af >Get boner Funnyam.coml 5 KB JPG >She drops her pen under my table >Fuckity she noticed boner >Look at me >Smiles Later virgins

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Anon's dad is weird | /r/Greentext

>See's my sister getting ready >"going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house >my dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhh..no.uhhh.c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." %3D Best dad ever.
>See's my sister getting ready >"going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house >my dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhh..no.uhhh.c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." %3D Best dad ever.

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Anon makes a thread | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21 (Mon)08:53:40 No.63814410 >make a thread >a schizo who hasn't taken their meds starts posting in it >multiple times 17 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/24/21 (Mon)08:53:40 No.63814410 >make a thread >a schizo who hasn't taken their meds starts posting in it >multiple times 17 KB JPG

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Anon tries to play warzone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)17:28:15 No.850292647 > be me > download warzone > 194gb > f--- me > 125mb left PEPE OF DUTY > game tiem > 172gb update 56 KB JPG > what the f---
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)17:28:15 No.850292647 > be me > download warzone > 194gb > f--- me > 125mb left PEPE OF DUTY > game tiem > 172gb update 56 KB JPG > what the f---

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