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Anon gets an achievement just with his eyes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)20:43:31 No.854971480 >be me >at uni waiting for classes to start >one of my classmates was wearing a crop top >i stare at her belly >she notices and pulls her shirt down to cover it >i keep staring >she gets visibly annoyed and leaves the area >achievement unlocked: irritated a person of the opposite sex without saying a single word >mfw
Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)20:43:31 No.854971480 >be me >at uni waiting for classes to start >one of my classmates was wearing a crop top >i stare at her belly >she notices and pulls her shirt down to cover it >i keep staring >she gets visibly annoyed and leaves the area >achievement unlocked: irritated a person of the opposite sex without saying a single word >mfw

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Anon is an ameteur artist | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad.jpg (6 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:26:21 No.63771352 >be me >amateur artist >drawing myself as a cute girl >banish all of my feminine traits into this drawing >only pure masculinity remains in me now
File: gigachad.jpg (6 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:26:21 No.63771352 >be me >amateur artist >drawing myself as a cute girl >banish all of my feminine traits into this drawing >only pure masculinity remains in me now

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Anon cant find a bf to treat her right | /r/Greentext

1578470375406.jpg| 52 KB JPG >date a white right wing guy >want him to call me slurs and call me his property >he merely laughs when I suggest this to him and says that he loves me too much
1578470375406.jpg| 52 KB JPG >date a white right wing guy >want him to call me slurs and call me his property >he merely laughs when I suggest this to him and says that he loves me too much

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Secdjdjdjdjd | /r/Greentext


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Anons Florida vacation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)13:31:22 No.855025776 Autism thread; I'll start >Be me >17 year old autist >On vacation with family in Florida >Stop by BBQ place for dinner >Order glass of water because it's 95 KB JPG hot as hell >Eat the ice once I'm done, because I don't want to be wasteful >qt3.14 waitress notices and offers me another drink >l say no >She offers a cup of ice >The f---? >Panic and say yes >lce arrives >I know the waitress will notice if I don't eat it >Reluctantly eat the entire glass of ice Why am I like this?
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)13:31:22 No.855025776 Autism thread; I'll start >Be me >17 year old autist >On vacation with family in Florida >Stop by BBQ place for dinner >Order glass of water because it's 95 KB JPG hot as hell >Eat the ice once I'm done, because I don't want to be wasteful >qt3.14 waitress notices and offers me another drink >l say no >She offers a cup of ice >The f---? >Panic and say yes >lce arrives >I know the waitress will notice if I don't eat it >Reluctantly eat the entire glass of ice Why am I like this?

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Anon has friday night plans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)19:13:29 No.49719320 >friday night L'ORÉAL >shower TOTAL REPAIRS NEW >shave beard >hair product >new jacket >new shoes 59 KB JPG >apply fragrance >say goodnight to parents >hide in the woods until 2am
: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)19:13:29 No.49719320 >friday night L'ORÉAL >shower TOTAL REPAIRS NEW >shave beard >hair product >new jacket >new shoes 59 KB JPG >apply fragrance >say goodnight to parents >hide in the woods until 2am

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Anon is too average. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)04:51:45 No.855021956 >be me >stuck in purgatory >too ugly to be a chad >too attractive to be an incel >too out of shape to be a chad >too fit to be an incel 78 KB JPG >too weird to be a chad >not weird enough to be an incel >the stuff I'm interested in is too weird for chads to understand >the stuff l'm interested in is too alpha for incels to understand >l am forever stuck in limbo.
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)04:51:45 No.855021956 >be me >stuck in purgatory >too ugly to be a chad >too attractive to be an incel >too out of shape to be a chad >too fit to be an incel 78 KB JPG >too weird to be a chad >not weird enough to be an incel >the stuff I'm interested in is too weird for chads to understand >the stuff l'm interested in is too alpha for incels to understand >l am forever stuck in limbo.

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Anon destroys the video game market | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:20:56 No.556451112 >Trailer for literally any new game drops >"Looks like s---" 33 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:24:43 No.556451483 >game is so much as conceptualized >Crack when? 500 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:36:12 No.556452660 >come up with idea for a game in my head >"No thanks. Not buying until a Steam sale" 48 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:20:56 No.556451112 >Trailer for literally any new game drops >"Looks like s---" 33 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:24:43 No.556451483 >game is so much as conceptualized >Crack when? 500 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:36:12 No.556452660 >come up with idea for a game in my head >"No thanks. Not buying until a Steam sale" 48 KB JPG

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Wtf did i just read this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769031659 32 perccel ezelőtt •.. Just got laid >Be Me >16 >Yesterday >At School hanging out with group of friends >See Stacy I like and get a boner >Put d--- in waistband like so many of you seem to 5,9 kB JPG recommend ItWorks.exe >Stacy comes up to me, "Oh, Hey Anon." >Gives me hug >5'5" and she is closer to 5' 10" >Have to reach up a little >D--- pops out through the top and rubs her stomach >Wasn't expecting it and instantly nut on her stomach >She was wearing a crop trop >She pulls away somewhat slowly to reveal a fat nut on her stomach >She gags and runs away nearly crying >Friends all look at me in disgust >I run off campus and am posting this from a local Dennys See Ya Later Virgins 3 REPLIES 5 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 769031659 32 perccel ezelőtt •.. Just got laid >Be Me >16 >Yesterday >At School hanging out with group of friends >See Stacy I like and get a boner >Put d--- in waistband like so many of you seem to 5,9 kB JPG recommend ItWorks.exe >Stacy comes up to me, "Oh, Hey Anon." >Gives me hug >5'5" and she is closer to 5' 10" >Have to reach up a little >D--- pops out through the top and rubs her stomach >Wasn't expecting it and instantly nut on her stomach >She was wearing a crop trop >She pulls away somewhat slowly to reveal a fat nut on her stomach >She gags and runs away nearly crying >Friends all look at me in disgust >I run off campus and am posting this from a local Dennys See Ya Later Virgins 3 REPLIES 5 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon dates the shy girl | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)17:42:25 No.854979081 Greentext thread, tell stories >been to school with this girl for 8 feels good months man >she looks 6/10 not bad, not great but 137 KB JPG ok. >she finally decides to tell me she's interested >we meet up >begin conversating with her, notice she is nervous while I'm a very laid back guy >ask her why, she responds that I'm sort of the first guy to date her >take over the lead >got her to feel more comfortable by cracking jokes and teasing her >go to her home >cuddle and watch netflix home alone >got myself a girlfriend >feelsgoodman.jpg What a great day to be alive. 2 Replies /1 Image View Thread
I Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)17:42:25 No.854979081 Greentext thread, tell stories >been to school with this girl for 8 feels good months man >she looks 6/10 not bad, not great but 137 KB JPG ok. >she finally decides to tell me she's interested >we meet up >begin conversating with her, notice she is nervous while I'm a very laid back guy >ask her why, she responds that I'm sort of the first guy to date her >take over the lead >got her to feel more comfortable by cracking jokes and teasing her >go to her home >cuddle and watch netflix home alone >got myself a girlfriend >feelsgoodman.jpg What a great day to be alive. 2 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Anon looks after sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/27/18(Thu)22:38:14 No.48382376 >took little stepsister to the roller rink for her birthday because I wanted to be nice for once >she fell and got a concussion 47 KB PNG
: Anonymous 09/27/18(Thu)22:38:14 No.48382376 >took little stepsister to the roller rink for her birthday because I wanted to be nice for once >she fell and got a concussion 47 KB PNG

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I blame 4chan this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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anon is turning into a filthy normie | /r/Greentext

I am dating and SJW cutie and turning into a filthy normie. Anon Becomes >Be me A Normie >24 >Upset Trump lost >Go for a walk (Thursday) >Starts thinking about life >Joke about injecting hormones and 84 KB JPG becoming a degen t----- while seething. >Goes home >Thinks it's time to take my girlfriend search seriously >Opens Bumble >Swipes >Sees cute sjw 19 year old girl with gender nonsense and BLM on her profile. >kek. >Maybe trolling while I look isn't so bad. >Swipes right >Match >She messages me instantly >l pull out my 4chan normie trope by talking about star wars >l tease her >she responds my making fun of her self >Oh no. >She has a sense of humour. >Arrange to meet at the park in 2 (social distancing date) days. >Wow! >She looks nicer irl >We played frisbee at the park >We ordered some food >More Star Wars and Marvel Larp. >She shows me her cringy cosplay >l tease her >She laughs at herself >I like her a lot. >l stop believing in 4chan social dynamics >l stop believing in conspiracy theories >I like Biden >l slowly accept progressivism >what is happening to me. >l am becoming an NPC. >I like it.
I am dating and SJW cutie and turning into a filthy normie. Anon Becomes >Be me A Normie >24 >Upset Trump lost >Go for a walk (Thursday) >Starts thinking about life >Joke about injecting hormones and 84 KB JPG becoming a degen t----- while seething. >Goes home >Thinks it's time to take my girlfriend search seriously >Opens Bumble >Swipes >Sees cute sjw 19 year old girl with gender nonsense and BLM on her profile. >kek. >Maybe trolling while I look isn't so bad. >Swipes right >Match >She messages me instantly >l pull out my 4chan normie trope by talking about star wars >l tease her >she responds my making fun of her self >Oh no. >She has a sense of humour. >Arrange to meet at the park in 2 (social distancing date) days. >Wow! >She looks nicer irl >We played frisbee at the park >We ordered some food >More Star Wars and Marvel Larp. >She shows me her cringy cosplay >l tease her >She laughs at herself >I like her a lot. >l stop believing in 4chan social dynamics >l stop believing in conspiracy theories >I like Biden >l slowly accept progressivism >what is happening to me. >l am becoming an NPC. >I like it.

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Anon is back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg 2 >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----
: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg 2 >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----

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Old but gold | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No. 16442287 Replies: >16442341 >16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...
Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No. 16442287 Replies: >16442341 >16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...

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Anon experiences America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)09:01:01 No.854951973 >>854951717 (OP) # >Be American >Give tip >Get fat >Get shot 265 KB PNG The Burger cycle.
: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)09:01:01 No.854951973 >>854951717 (OP) # >Be American >Give tip >Get fat >Get shot 265 KB PNG The Burger cycle.

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Anon has technical difficulties | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)19:08:47 No.854962628 >Start using reddit >Read that you gotta post or comment to get karma Cease Your Faggotry >Get 20 karma >Write a comment >Instantly lose 16 karma >w--.jpg >Post a few things to different subreddits >Goes completely unnoticed and nobody gives a 37 KB JPG f--- >someone reposts the same greentext from 7 years ago for the 50th time >gets 30k upvotes Jesus f--- I hate reddit so much it's unbelievable
: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)19:08:47 No.854962628 >Start using reddit >Read that you gotta post or comment to get karma Cease Your Faggotry >Get 20 karma >Write a comment >Instantly lose 16 karma >w--.jpg >Post a few things to different subreddits >Goes completely unnoticed and nobody gives a 37 KB JPG f--- >someone reposts the same greentext from 7 years ago for the 50th time >gets 30k upvotes Jesus f--- I hate reddit so much it's unbelievable

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Anon is too smart to get scammed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/20(Wed)15:47:35 No.822020977 >Be me >Get a call from unknown number >Answer it >"Congatulations, you won an all expenses paid vacation!" >"F--- off scammer" *click* 15 KB JPG >Watch local news later that night >Headline: "Billionaire gives away free vacations to 5 locals" >mfw 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/04/20(Wed)15:47:35 No.822020977 >Be me >Get a call from unknown number >Answer it >"Congatulations, you won an all expenses paid vacation!" >"F--- off scammer" *click* 15 KB JPG >Watch local news later that night >Headline: "Billionaire gives away free vacations to 5 locals" >mfw 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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No title necessary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri) 15:18:33 No.804456869 >be me >yesterday >doing race to see if I could beat a record >some of the "runners" are in wheelchairs and only have to do 5 laps instead of 10 since it takes 2 KB JPG them so much longer >while running one of the wheely bois falls out of his chair and onto my path >two other runners stop to help him up and I didn't know weather to stop or keep running >in the end I kept running and jumped over his wheelchair and in a calm voice said "my condolences" >got a few boos but the guy in the wheelchair laughed >mfw I got 2nd
: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri) 15:18:33 No.804456869 >be me >yesterday >doing race to see if I could beat a record >some of the "runners" are in wheelchairs and only have to do 5 laps instead of 10 since it takes 2 KB JPG them so much longer >while running one of the wheely bois falls out of his chair and onto my path >two other runners stop to help him up and I didn't know weather to stop or keep running >in the end I kept running and jumped over his wheelchair and in a calm voice said "my condolences" >got a few boos but the guy in the wheelchair laughed >mfw I got 2nd

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Anon meets an old man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/18(Fri)16:06:20 No.42291881 >Be me >Some old guy knocks on my door >He tells me that this house used to be his childhood home >Tells me that they had a kind of family tradition that each kid would have to do before moving out >Said it involved doing a blessing in the basement >He had a falling out with them and moved out without doing the blessing and says that he regrets 34 KB JPG it >Tells me that he would need about an hour alone in the basement >I really don't want to let him in my basement >Let him do it anyways >He thanks me and goes downstairs >l'm just watching the clock until he comes back upstairs >He thanks me, gives me 20 twenty bucks, and leaves >As soon as he leaves, I check the basement >lt smells of weed >Someone took a s--- on the floor
: Anonymous 01/05/18(Fri)16:06:20 No.42291881 >Be me >Some old guy knocks on my door >He tells me that this house used to be his childhood home >Tells me that they had a kind of family tradition that each kid would have to do before moving out >Said it involved doing a blessing in the basement >He had a falling out with them and moved out without doing the blessing and says that he regrets 34 KB JPG it >Tells me that he would need about an hour alone in the basement >I really don't want to let him in my basement >Let him do it anyways >He thanks me and goes downstairs >l'm just watching the clock until he comes back upstairs >He thanks me, gives me 20 twenty bucks, and leaves >As soon as he leaves, I check the basement >lt smells of weed >Someone took a s--- on the floor

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