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Believing women that you paid to be nice to you…… | /r/Greentext

>yesterday decide to f--- my first h----- ever >while she's riding me she ask if i was fat before >tell her i went from 145kg to 80kg and that i couldn't hit the gym 25 KB JPG cause rona but will when it's open >she look amazed and tell me that i'll look so good when i'll hit the gym cause i have a beautiful face and i'm tall >proceed to ride me harder
>yesterday decide to f--- my first h----- ever >while she's riding me she ask if i was fat before >tell her i went from 145kg to 80kg and that i couldn't hit the gym 25 KB JPG cause rona but will when it's open >she look amazed and tell me that i'll look so good when i'll hit the gym cause i have a beautiful face and i'm tall >proceed to ride me harder

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Anon experiences loss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/19(Tue)03:06:41 No.50803213 >mommy bought me a milkshake on her way home from work >l drop it walking up the stairs 41 KB JPG O0000000000000000000000000000000ON 000000000000000000000000000000000O
: Anonymous 02/05/19(Tue)03:06:41 No.50803213 >mommy bought me a milkshake on her way home from work >l drop it walking up the stairs 41 KB JPG O0000000000000000000000000000000ON 000000000000000000000000000000000O

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Anon relationship ghost | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me
>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)11:42:25 No.854932670 >Use all the fossil fuels up >Enjoyed the weather while it lasted >Now no more oil for future generations >No more winters or snows either Get f----- Zoomers 173 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)11:42:25 No.854932670 >Use all the fossil fuels up >Enjoyed the weather while it lasted >Now no more oil for future generations >No more winters or snows either Get f----- Zoomers 173 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon goes to Alabama | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)00:13:47 No.16131319 >>16131117 (OP) # >go to some store in Alabama >go to check out >"ZICO?" >what >"zi, co?" >.what? >from GA, heard all sorts of southern accents all my life, this thing's accent was so thick I couldn't even understand what they could possibly mean >this creature was birthed from some a pool of swamp water and moonshine and then deep fried >she was trying to say "zip code" >>16131519 #
: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)00:13:47 No.16131319 >>16131117 (OP) # >go to some store in Alabama >go to check out >"ZICO?" >what >"zi, co?" >.what? >from GA, heard all sorts of southern accents all my life, this thing's accent was so thick I couldn't even understand what they could possibly mean >this creature was birthed from some a pool of swamp water and moonshine and then deep fried >she was trying to say "zip code" >>16131519 #

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Anon is superior | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)23:36:17 No.63764522 >be me >s------- for the second time today >be you >probably not s------- for the second time today, maybe haven't even shat at all 7 KB JPG i am superior in every way
Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)23:36:17 No.63764522 >be me >s------- for the second time today >be you >probably not s------- for the second time today, maybe haven't even shat at all 7 KB JPG i am superior in every way

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Anon’s GF is a cheater | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me
: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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Anon got assimilated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)16:54:09 No.63755514 >be me, 14 >discover 4chan >be me, 19 >loser 4 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)16:54:09 No.63755514 >be me, 14 >discover 4chan >be me, 19 >loser 4 KB JPG

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Anon's dad is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)11:47:34 No.854932939 >2am TOAY IN >wake up cuz feeling bad and want to do poop >see my dad with my gaming headphones that he stole from me 3 years ago >see what he is watching >Darude Sandstorm on YouTube KILL SELF 550 KB PNG >he is smoking a e c-- >i just... i just cant
: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)11:47:34 No.854932939 >2am TOAY IN >wake up cuz feeling bad and want to do poop >see my dad with my gaming headphones that he stole from me 3 years ago >see what he is watching >Darude Sandstorm on YouTube KILL SELF 550 KB PNG >he is smoking a e c-- >i just... i just cant

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can't remember | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)16:36:54 No.556167187 >want to replay a game from your childhood >remember the gameplay but nothing else >can't remember the game's name 51 KB JPG What's her name, /v/? : Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)16:37:22 No.556167237 can't remember : Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)16:38:45 No.556167380 can't remember : Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)16:39:22 No.556167452 can't remember
: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)16:36:54 No.556167187 >want to replay a game from your childhood >remember the gameplay but nothing else >can't remember the game's name 51 KB JPG What's her name, /v/? : Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)16:37:22 No.556167237 can't remember : Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)16:38:45 No.556167380 can't remember : Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)16:39:22 No.556167452 can't remember

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Anon doesn't appreciate a gift | /r/Greentext

>have somewhat stable social circle in uni >get along with this one grill >she gives me a book for christmas that she thinks I would 82 KB JPG like >for some reason never open it >weeks go by, she keeps asking about the book >quickly look up plot summary on wiki so that I can pretend l'm reading it >she's visibly annoyed and angry, says "you probably never even opened it" >insist that I read it, our relationship slowly deteriorates >we get our degrees and don't stay in touch >fast forward six years >find book while cleaning my apartment >decide to read it >find a little romantic note inside about how much I mean to her etc >mfw book is pretty boring
>have somewhat stable social circle in uni >get along with this one grill >she gives me a book for christmas that she thinks I would 82 KB JPG like >for some reason never open it >weeks go by, she keeps asking about the book >quickly look up plot summary on wiki so that I can pretend l'm reading it >she's visibly annoyed and angry, says "you probably never even opened it" >insist that I read it, our relationship slowly deteriorates >we get our degrees and don't stay in touch >fast forward six years >find book while cleaning my apartment >decide to read it >find a little romantic note inside about how much I mean to her etc >mfw book is pretty boring

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Anon got double switcherood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap 356 KB JPG > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" > mfw, it's actually a chick > mfw, I got reversed traped >
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap 356 KB JPG > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" > mfw, it's actually a chick > mfw, I got reversed traped >

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Anon gets spooky | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 4aTzfVTi) 04/25/14(Fri)04:58:57 No.543776297 >move into new apartment >bringing new s--- inside >a skellingtone pops out of the closet >he pulls me in >asks if I want to get spooky >next thing I know l'm in skellertin world >its like the chronicles of narnia but with skeletoms >it isn't so bad >settle down with nice skellygirl and we bone
Anonymous (ID: 4aTzfVTi) 04/25/14(Fri)04:58:57 No.543776297 >move into new apartment >bringing new s--- inside >a skellingtone pops out of the closet >he pulls me in >asks if I want to get spooky >next thing I know l'm in skellertin world >its like the chronicles of narnia but with skeletoms >it isn't so bad >settle down with nice skellygirl and we bone

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Anon‘s grandpa does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Most kek thing your grandparen(...) 05/21/21(Fri)05:51:34 No.63764689 What's the most kek thing your grandparents have ever done? >be me >on vacation in France with family >dad grandpa and I all go out to eat at fancy restaurant 9 KB PNG >we can hear the staff belittling us for being tourists >grandpa leans into my ear and tells me to play along >slowly starts speaking in a more southern accent as the meal goes on >by the time the check comes he is completely unintelligible from the amount of hick speak coming out of his mouth >end of the meal comes >he tucks the table cloth into his pants and gets up and leave >naturally all the plates and glasses break >everyone turns and looks >grandpa runs out of the f------ restaurant babbling like a loon >fly back to America before we get in legal trouble Man, I love your grandpa. Wish you were still here.
: Anonymous Most kek thing your grandparen(...) 05/21/21(Fri)05:51:34 No.63764689 What's the most kek thing your grandparents have ever done? >be me >on vacation in France with family >dad grandpa and I all go out to eat at fancy restaurant 9 KB PNG >we can hear the staff belittling us for being tourists >grandpa leans into my ear and tells me to play along >slowly starts speaking in a more southern accent as the meal goes on >by the time the check comes he is completely unintelligible from the amount of hick speak coming out of his mouth >end of the meal comes >he tucks the table cloth into his pants and gets up and leave >naturally all the plates and glasses break >everyone turns and looks >grandpa runs out of the f------ restaurant babbling like a loon >fly back to America before we get in legal trouble Man, I love your grandpa. Wish you were still here.

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Anon makes fun of europeans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)04:42:06 No.63361056 >want to watch an age restricted YouTube video >Google wants me to send them a picture of my ID to prove that I'm 18 >cant watch the f------ video the internet is f------ ruined 6 KB JPG 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)06:01:20 No.63361680 thats your fault for living in Europe 41 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)04:42:06 No.63361056 >want to watch an age restricted YouTube video >Google wants me to send them a picture of my ID to prove that I'm 18 >cant watch the f------ video the internet is f------ ruined 6 KB JPG 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)06:01:20 No.63361680 thats your fault for living in Europe 41 KB JPG

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Anon tastes something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/20(Thu)22:34:53 No.56193776 >read online that there's taste buds on our balls that can apparently detect sweetness >decide to try it out for myself 7 >go to bathroom and dip balls in 15 KB JPG sugar water mixture >mfw i can literally taste the sweetness what the f--- is going on bros
: Anonymous 01/09/20(Thu)22:34:53 No.56193776 >read online that there's taste buds on our balls that can apparently detect sweetness >decide to try it out for myself 7 >go to bathroom and dip balls in 15 KB JPG sugar water mixture >mfw i can literally taste the sweetness what the f--- is going on bros

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Anon talks to a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)19:56:36 No.63763437 >girl ghosts me >adds me back a year later >talks constant s--- about how bad i am at everything and how much she hates me >still wants to talk to me near every 139 KB JPG day can anyone high IQ figure this s--- out for me : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)20:00:15 No.63763478 Yeah, I figure you're a little bitch for not telling her to f--- off.
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)19:56:36 No.63763437 >girl ghosts me >adds me back a year later >talks constant s--- about how bad i am at everything and how much she hates me >still wants to talk to me near every 139 KB JPG day can anyone high IQ figure this s--- out for me : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)20:00:15 No.63763478 Yeah, I figure you're a little bitch for not telling her to f--- off.

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Anon is a disappointment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/18(Fri)19:43:41 No.43426628 >be me around 5pm >Dad comes home from construction job >sees me sitting at computer still in dressing gown with naruto hat >let's out the longest sigh ever and goes to his room and shut's door 64 KB JPG >mfw 11 Replies /1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 02/23/18(Fri)19:43:41 No.43426628 >be me around 5pm >Dad comes home from construction job >sees me sitting at computer still in dressing gown with naruto hat >let's out the longest sigh ever and goes to his room and shut's door 64 KB JPG >mfw 11 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Anon describes flies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)20:02:46 No.63756833 >Gets into your house through a door that's been cracked open >Flies around with no sense of direction >Touches your food >Makes that annoying buzzing 139 KB JPG noise >Escapes your flyswatter every f------ time >Unable to exit through a window that's been completely opened, instead bumps into the glass every time >Dies 3 days later >Refuses to elaborate
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)20:02:46 No.63756833 >Gets into your house through a door that's been cracked open >Flies around with no sense of direction >Touches your food >Makes that annoying buzzing 139 KB JPG noise >Escapes your flyswatter every f------ time >Unable to exit through a window that's been completely opened, instead bumps into the glass every time >Dies 3 days later >Refuses to elaborate

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Anon buys stocks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)16:07:40 No.854895057 >Type some random letters into Google >lf it turns out to be a stock I buy 69 shares >l've been doing this for a year or two and I've made well over $500k Suck it, Jews. don't know anything about stocks, yet I'm beating you at your own game. My next goal is the complete destruction of 38 KB JPG the state of Israel.
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)16:07:40 No.854895057 >Type some random letters into Google >lf it turns out to be a stock I buy 69 shares >l've been doing this for a year or two and I've made well over $500k Suck it, Jews. don't know anything about stocks, yet I'm beating you at your own game. My next goal is the complete destruction of 38 KB JPG the state of Israel.

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