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Anon's reason for not owning a gun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ? 05/19/21(Wed)02:34:46 No.12777234 >he doesnt own a gun Explain yourself 1.3 MB GIF : Anonymous ? 05/19/21(Wed)04:50:27 No.12777414 >>12777234 (OP) # >home invasion >n------ see you armed and shoot at you >try to kill n------ with gun >maybe manage to kill one or two >the others kill you Vs. >home invasion >n------ see you unarmed and hold you at gunpoint, maybe beat you up a little >they take your s--- >still alive afterwards because you didn't think real life was an action movie
: Anonymous ? 05/19/21(Wed)02:34:46 No.12777234 >he doesnt own a gun Explain yourself 1.3 MB GIF : Anonymous ? 05/19/21(Wed)04:50:27 No.12777414 >>12777234 (OP) # >home invasion >n------ see you armed and shoot at you >try to kill n------ with gun >maybe manage to kill one or two >the others kill you Vs. >home invasion >n------ see you unarmed and hold you at gunpoint, maybe beat you up a little >they take your s--- >still alive afterwards because you didn't think real life was an action movie

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WA ME UUUU | /r/Greentext

ile: d48.png (69 KB, 1054x526) Anonymous 2/05/20(Wed)13:33:24 No.56595472 >>56595958 >SOUJA BOI UP IN E HO >WA ME CWANK A WA ME WO >WA ME CWANK DA SO JO BOI DEN SOOPA MA DA HO NA WAH ME >UUUU >SPANK DAT SAW NAW WA ME >UUUUU >SPANK DAT SAW NAH WAH ME >UUUU >SPENG DAT SAH DAH WAH ME
ile: d48.png (69 KB, 1054x526) Anonymous 2/05/20(Wed)13:33:24 No.56595472 >>56595958 >SOUJA BOI UP IN E HO >WA ME CWANK A WA ME WO >WA ME CWANK DA SO JO BOI DEN SOOPA MA DA HO NA WAH ME >UUUU >SPANK DAT SAW NAW WA ME >UUUUU >SPANK DAT SAW NAH WAH ME >UUUU >SPENG DAT SAH DAH WAH ME

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Anon finds milf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)12:29:05 No.785705600 >be me >be in school >teacher is 12/10 milf >give subtle hints and flirt with her >she flirts back >start to get more physical >kissing, hugging etc >one day start kissing and hugging her 40 KB PNG >she kisses back >end up banging her >her husband walks in >s---.jpg >he beats the f--- out of me and throws me out of the house Man I hate being homeschooled
: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)12:29:05 No.785705600 >be me >be in school >teacher is 12/10 milf >give subtle hints and flirt with her >she flirts back >start to get more physical >kissing, hugging etc >one day start kissing and hugging her 40 KB PNG >she kisses back >end up banging her >her husband walks in >s---.jpg >he beats the f--- out of me and throws me out of the house Man I hate being homeschooled

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Anon discusses the history of Steam | /r/Greentext

www.FunnyPica.com Anonymous (ID: XITrghhk ) 03/09/14(Sun)18:57:27 No.536424319 Replies: >>536404991 >the birth of steam
www.FunnyPica.com Anonymous (ID: XITrghhk ) 03/09/14(Sun)18:57:27 No.536424319 Replies: >>536404991 >the birth of steam

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)20:04:04 No.854675303 >be me >10 or 11 >long hair, squeaky voice >people mistake me for a girl a lot >can't wait to have a deeper voice so people stop thinking I'm a girl >puberty 296 KB PNG >deep voice >people stop mistaking me for a girl >all of a sudden I don't like being a guy >wish I was a girl >trans >why anons?
: Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)20:04:04 No.854675303 >be me >10 or 11 >long hair, squeaky voice >people mistake me for a girl a lot >can't wait to have a deeper voice so people stop thinking I'm a girl >puberty 296 KB PNG >deep voice >people stop mistaking me for a girl >all of a sudden I don't like being a guy >wish I was a girl >trans >why anons?

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Anon gets a new experience | /r/Greentext

Guy.jpg (49 KB, 508x718) Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:53:45 >Be me >Вe дay >Start looking at femboys, I start to like them >Go on forums and learn they are real >Start fantasizing about them >Decide to do something >Go to a club to try to hook up >Meet this cute femboy at the bar >After a few drinks we go to my place >Start making out >After a while things get heated >He gets undressed >He has a vagina >She isn't a femboy, shes just a normal girl >MFW I'm actually straight and not a f-----
Guy.jpg (49 KB, 508x718) Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:53:45 >Be me >Вe дay >Start looking at femboys, I start to like them >Go on forums and learn they are real >Start fantasizing about them >Decide to do something >Go to a club to try to hook up >Meet this cute femboy at the bar >After a few drinks we go to my place >Start making out >After a while things get heated >He gets undressed >He has a vagina >She isn't a femboy, shes just a normal girl >MFW I'm actually straight and not a f-----

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Anon goes to a party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/19(Mon)19:13:12 No.798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social 8 KB JPG stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >l always thought I was a social outcast >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman
: Anonymous 04/22/19(Mon)19:13:12 No.798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social 8 KB JPG stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >l always thought I was a social outcast >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman

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Anon loves archer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)21:36:46 No.846744113 >Be me >Start to watch Archer >Develop a love for the main character >Slowly implement his personality into yours >Slowly become Archer himself >Develop new personality and make it 203 KB PNG your own >Family and friends notice behavior and are concerned and push you to get checked out >See a therapist >Get diagnosed with high functioning Autism >Don't have to work anymore with new diagnoses and live off the government >Watch as much Archer as you want forever and ever and get payed for it
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)21:36:46 No.846744113 >Be me >Start to watch Archer >Develop a love for the main character >Slowly implement his personality into yours >Slowly become Archer himself >Develop new personality and make it 203 KB PNG your own >Family and friends notice behavior and are concerned and push you to get checked out >See a therapist >Get diagnosed with high functioning Autism >Don't have to work anymore with new diagnoses and live off the government >Watch as much Archer as you want forever and ever and get payed for it

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Anon is among us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)00:06:34 No.854372193 >be me >have reddit account >lots of karma >everyday I scroll through threads >too much loli and furry p--- for the average beta >sigma male like me does not care 29 KB JPG >sees greentext >swipe.exe >get tons of updoots and awards for scrolling through 4chan Tee hee
: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)00:06:34 No.854372193 >be me >have reddit account >lots of karma >everyday I scroll through threads >too much loli and furry p--- for the average beta >sigma male like me does not care 29 KB JPG >sees greentext >swipe.exe >get tons of updoots and awards for scrolling through 4chan Tee hee

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Anon spends his time well | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat)14:47:14 No.17454467 >never looked into how many Pepes I had >check just now >1,019 images damn, what if I spent this time doing something worthwhile? 297 KB PNG >>17454513 # Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat) 14:48:43 No.17454513 >>17454467 # >collecting pepes >not being "worthwhile"
Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat)14:47:14 No.17454467 >never looked into how many Pepes I had >check just now >1,019 images damn, what if I spent this time doing something worthwhile? 297 KB PNG >>17454513 # Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat) 14:48:43 No.17454513 >>17454467 # >collecting pepes >not being "worthwhile"

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Anon makes a new friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)13:59:35 No.854728216 >be me 2006 >sexless virgin >officially a scene kid with hair over my eye, tight jeans, and band tee >go to week long Christian church revival held on college campus during summer >lots of teens all staying in the empty WDERCATH 591 KB JPG college dorms >my friend Colin introduces me to some girls he knows >one is a scene queen, Anna, totally think she's hot >hit it off with her right away >have my first kiss on the end of the first day >hang out with her all week, blowing off most church activities >mostly ignore Colin >4th day Anna and I sneak off to the dorms to be alone >think we're just gonna make out, but still happy >she tells me she has a condom >tells me she wants to be have sex >totally agree, being 16 and sexless >she gives me the condom, touches my peen >first time a girl has touched it >pull my jeans down, they're so tight they stay in place with my ass showing >put on the condom >she lifts her skirt up and panties down >first time l've seen a vagine irl >she lays on the bed, I move in close and line up >thislslt.jpeg >a quarter inch away from penetrating >3 adults suddenly burst into the room >startled, turn around, condom d--- flailing wildly >"You are both in so much trouble! Your parents will hear about this! Thank god Colin came and got us." >see Colin standing sheepishly in the hallway >get in a lot of trouble, banned from activities, asked not to come back next year if I'm “on the same path" >Anna lives 6 hours away from me, never end up seeing her again >didn't lose my virginity for another 3 years >if my d--- had been a half inch longer I would have lost my virginity F--- you Colin
: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)13:59:35 No.854728216 >be me 2006 >sexless virgin >officially a scene kid with hair over my eye, tight jeans, and band tee >go to week long Christian church revival held on college campus during summer >lots of teens all staying in the empty WDERCATH 591 KB JPG college dorms >my friend Colin introduces me to some girls he knows >one is a scene queen, Anna, totally think she's hot >hit it off with her right away >have my first kiss on the end of the first day >hang out with her all week, blowing off most church activities >mostly ignore Colin >4th day Anna and I sneak off to the dorms to be alone >think we're just gonna make out, but still happy >she tells me she has a condom >tells me she wants to be have sex >totally agree, being 16 and sexless >she gives me the condom, touches my peen >first time a girl has touched it >pull my jeans down, they're so tight they stay in place with my ass showing >put on the condom >she lifts her skirt up and panties down >first time l've seen a vagine irl >she lays on the bed, I move in close and line up >thislslt.jpeg >a quarter inch away from penetrating >3 adults suddenly burst into the room >startled, turn around, condom d--- flailing wildly >"You are both in so much trouble! Your parents will hear about this! Thank god Colin came and got us." >see Colin standing sheepishly in the hallway >get in a lot of trouble, banned from activities, asked not to come back next year if I'm “on the same path" >Anna lives 6 hours away from me, never end up seeing her again >didn't lose my virginity for another 3 years >if my d--- had been a half inch longer I would have lost my virginity F--- you Colin

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Anon gets along with his roommate... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)20:34:23 No.854751781 >be me >roommate is a 7/10 female- type >she's clean >she's quiet >she's chill 178 KB JPG >she brought furniture >find out we have the same taste in music >we start hanging out a bunch >start smoking together >first girl I've been really close to in a while >first person I've been really close to in a while >her lease is up >tell her should renew >tell her she's a good roommate >a bit embarrassing >being vulnerable always is >but you gotta tell your friends they matter to you "I'm not gonna lie, anon, I've gotta get out of here. Listening to the sounds you jerking off over the last few months has been traumatising."
: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)20:34:23 No.854751781 >be me >roommate is a 7/10 female- type >she's clean >she's quiet >she's chill 178 KB JPG >she brought furniture >find out we have the same taste in music >we start hanging out a bunch >start smoking together >first girl I've been really close to in a while >first person I've been really close to in a while >her lease is up >tell her should renew >tell her she's a good roommate >a bit embarrassing >being vulnerable always is >but you gotta tell your friends they matter to you "I'm not gonna lie, anon, I've gotta get out of here. Listening to the sounds you jerking off over the last few months has been traumatising."

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

NNNNNNOO0000000000000 YOU CANT JUST KILL YOURSELF YOU HAVE TO COPE WITH THE REALITY OF EXISTENCE >cant stop emotional eating because i am too depressed to enjoy anything else halp 6h (5/18 7:42) · 63721091 1 Reply >>63721069 (OP) I'd tell you to eat your words but they're probably too lean for you fatty
NNNNNNOO0000000000000 YOU CANT JUST KILL YOURSELF YOU HAVE TO COPE WITH THE REALITY OF EXISTENCE >cant stop emotional eating because i am too depressed to enjoy anything else halp 6h (5/18 7:42) · 63721091 1 Reply >>63721069 (OP) I'd tell you to eat your words but they're probably too lean for you fatty

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Do it, lol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)18:39:45 No.756517577 > Be me > 17 > Few years ago > Constantly joke with best friend about suicide and edgy s--- > Best friend's mom left his dad a few months ago > Best friend texts me "I'm gonna jump rn" > ohtheusual.gif > Reply with "Do it, lol" > Don't get a reply > His dad calls me from the hospital > fuckmethisisbad.jpeg > He jumped from an abandoned building and survived > We're not friends anymore
: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)18:39:45 No.756517577 > Be me > 17 > Few years ago > Constantly joke with best friend about suicide and edgy s--- > Best friend's mom left his dad a few months ago > Best friend texts me "I'm gonna jump rn" > ohtheusual.gif > Reply with "Do it, lol" > Don't get a reply > His dad calls me from the hospital > fuckmethisisbad.jpeg > He jumped from an abandoned building and survived > We're not friends anymore

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Femanon has a boyfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /r9k/ boyfriend is too much 05/18/21(Tue)23:49:42 No.63731147 > Be me > Notice boyfriends phone on table > Look through his Instagram > Notice his messages are to ll models asking if they're a FUTA and trying to hook up > Lose my s--- and yell at him for XX 154 KB PNG like 30 mins > He tells me to close my eyes and dream of someone who cares. > I lay down and think of how to break up with him when he starts playing confederate civil war music Never dating a robot again, you're all wolves in sheep clothing : Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:50:23 No.63731155 : Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:53:06 No.63731187 >mentally ill coomers are not actually decent boyfriends Oh wow really >>63731257 #
: Anonymous /r9k/ boyfriend is too much 05/18/21(Tue)23:49:42 No.63731147 > Be me > Notice boyfriends phone on table > Look through his Instagram > Notice his messages are to ll models asking if they're a FUTA and trying to hook up > Lose my s--- and yell at him for XX 154 KB PNG like 30 mins > He tells me to close my eyes and dream of someone who cares. > I lay down and think of how to break up with him when he starts playing confederate civil war music Never dating a robot again, you're all wolves in sheep clothing : Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:50:23 No.63731155 : Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:53:06 No.63731187 >mentally ill coomers are not actually decent boyfriends Oh wow really >>63731257 #

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Anon is a true capitalist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)22:58:00 No.844090720 >get knock at front door >girl scouts selling candy bars >1 dollar each >buy whole box >sell the candy bars to neighbors for 3 bucks a pop 33 KB JPG >profit
: Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)22:58:00 No.844090720 >get knock at front door >girl scouts selling candy bars >1 dollar each >buy whole box >sell the candy bars to neighbors for 3 bucks a pop 33 KB JPG >profit

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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 716321829 1 hr. ago ... >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, 'Il take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. ... >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life.
Anonymous 716321829 1 hr. ago ... >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, 'Il take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. ... >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life.

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Anon can’t prove his orientation anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)21:12:56 No.854729013 >be me, loser living with parents >go out to hit the gym with a bro >halfway through, get a text from mom >"hey anon, i was looking for some movies and i found a folder named 6 KB JPG gigachad, why is it full with muscular men?" >ohshit.mp4 >mfw she now thinks i'm gay wat do
: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)21:12:56 No.854729013 >be me, loser living with parents >go out to hit the gym with a bro >halfway through, get a text from mom >"hey anon, i was looking for some movies and i found a folder named 6 KB JPG gigachad, why is it full with muscular men?" >ohshit.mp4 >mfw she now thinks i'm gay wat do

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Anon debunks Stacys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)16:32:04 No.63725215 Do attractive women from well off families have the easiest life paths? >born into wealthy family >grow up popular, everyone nice to them, have their pick of partner in 156 KB JPG hs >too busy having fun in hs to get good grades, doesn't matter >go to random college, party, have a good time while in joke degree like communications >graduate and get s--- job, suddenly life hits them like a tons of bricks >suddenly they're poor for the first time ever >still young and hot though, so things could be worse, still partying >after a year or two slumming it, they realize it sucks, partying getting old >also notice wrinkles etc. for the first time, realize their looks already peaked >decide it's time to pick a rich guy to marry while they are still hot >live rest of life in luxury in exchange for f------ their husband once a week >well anons, does anyone else have it easier?
: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)16:32:04 No.63725215 Do attractive women from well off families have the easiest life paths? >born into wealthy family >grow up popular, everyone nice to them, have their pick of partner in 156 KB JPG hs >too busy having fun in hs to get good grades, doesn't matter >go to random college, party, have a good time while in joke degree like communications >graduate and get s--- job, suddenly life hits them like a tons of bricks >suddenly they're poor for the first time ever >still young and hot though, so things could be worse, still partying >after a year or two slumming it, they realize it sucks, partying getting old >also notice wrinkles etc. for the first time, realize their looks already peaked >decide it's time to pick a rich guy to marry while they are still hot >live rest of life in luxury in exchange for f------ their husband once a week >well anons, does anyone else have it easier?

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I went through hell to get this | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)21:37:37 No.854688612 File: 1620191086237.jpg (269 KB, 2057x2429) SAME AS IT EVER WAS >Be me SAME WAS >24M >On my way to eat Subway >practice my order in my head >walk in SAM WAS SAM WAS >finally it's my time to order >Cashier Lady: "welcome to Subway, what can I get you" BAMEA TEH WAS >Me: "uhhhh yeah, can I get a football meat long" >start to panic "ah f---, uhhhh, I meant can I get a meatlong foot sub" >f--- up #2 >"umm never mind, l'll see you later" >walk out >never been back to Subway
O Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)21:37:37 No.854688612 File: 1620191086237.jpg (269 KB, 2057x2429) SAME AS IT EVER WAS >Be me SAME WAS >24M >On my way to eat Subway >practice my order in my head >walk in SAM WAS SAM WAS >finally it's my time to order >Cashier Lady: "welcome to Subway, what can I get you" BAMEA TEH WAS >Me: "uhhhh yeah, can I get a football meat long" >start to panic "ah f---, uhhhh, I meant can I get a meatlong foot sub" >f--- up #2 >"umm never mind, l'll see you later" >walk out >never been back to Subway

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