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Anon is European | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed) >wake up >still European
: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed) >wake up >still European

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Anon gets BTFO by his nephew | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)16:50:34 No.42685823 >"Uncle Anon, why aren't you married?" >"Mom says people only get married when they love each other, does that mean no one loves you?" >>42685878 # : Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)17:24:59 No.42685878 >>42685823 # f------ wish i had a nephew with such top quality banter >>42685953 #
: Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)16:50:34 No.42685823 >"Uncle Anon, why aren't you married?" >"Mom says people only get married when they love each other, does that mean no one loves you?" >>42685878 # : Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)17:24:59 No.42685878 >>42685823 # f------ wish i had a nephew with such top quality banter >>42685953 #

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Anon feels pity | /r/Greentext

>enter a Youtube livestream out of curiosity >6 people are watching >not interested in the content, but I can't leave because the streamer might notice the number went down and feel hurt Aute 50 KB GIF >have been stuck in here for an hour Does anyone know this feel?
>enter a Youtube livestream out of curiosity >6 people are watching >not interested in the content, but I can't leave because the streamer might notice the number went down and feel hurt Aute 50 KB GIF >have been stuck in here for an hour Does anyone know this feel?

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Anon tries to impress a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cringiest Alpha Moves 05/12/17(Fri)15:19:49 No.36972961 >be me Par tet Accegting Yeur Death >be 14 or so >live in college apartments and above a cute girl >think of some way to impress her >lightbulb.png >walk downstairs one night to 475 KB PNG check my mail >quietly drop a $1 bill on the ground >cute girl outside, notices I dropped it >sir, you dropped your dollar bill! >turn around slowly >"you can keep it" >walk away >mfw remembering this a few years later and realizing how cringe this was
: Anonymous Cringiest Alpha Moves 05/12/17(Fri)15:19:49 No.36972961 >be me Par tet Accegting Yeur Death >be 14 or so >live in college apartments and above a cute girl >think of some way to impress her >lightbulb.png >walk downstairs one night to 475 KB PNG check my mail >quietly drop a $1 bill on the ground >cute girl outside, notices I dropped it >sir, you dropped your dollar bill! >turn around slowly >"you can keep it" >walk away >mfw remembering this a few years later and realizing how cringe this was

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Anon goes number 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)06:54:04 No.63736472 >be me >s------- rn >be you >probably not s------- rn 7 KB JPG sucks to be you, doesn't it?
: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)06:54:04 No.63736472 >be me >s------- rn >be you >probably not s------- rn 7 KB JPG sucks to be you, doesn't it?

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Anon makes British pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)18:07:36 No.16112508 >hawaiian pizza exists >mexicana pizza exists >neapolitan pizza exists What would a "British" pizza be like? Why isn't there a Mongolian or Jewish or Jamaican pizza? 210 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)18:14:17 No.16112528 >sourdough bread dough stretched to an XXL: 54mm in diameter >vinegar tomato sauce without tomato >shitfish fresh from their sewage river Thames >"crisps' >contents of one chamber pot >put it in the firey-wirey at 200 thermomidomideys centigrade >OI MAITE IS DONE INNIT IIIIII >>16112559 # >>16113050 # >>16119501 # >>16120450 # >>16122719 # >>16133592 #
: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)18:07:36 No.16112508 >hawaiian pizza exists >mexicana pizza exists >neapolitan pizza exists What would a "British" pizza be like? Why isn't there a Mongolian or Jewish or Jamaican pizza? 210 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)18:14:17 No.16112528 >sourdough bread dough stretched to an XXL: 54mm in diameter >vinegar tomato sauce without tomato >shitfish fresh from their sewage river Thames >"crisps' >contents of one chamber pot >put it in the firey-wirey at 200 thermomidomideys centigrade >OI MAITE IS DONE INNIT IIIIII >>16112559 # >>16113050 # >>16119501 # >>16120450 # >>16122719 # >>16133592 #

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Anon gets what he deserves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op
: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op

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Anon gives a suggestion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: UZNjkQMu ) E 05/19/21(Wed)11:03:56 No.322256581 >wife just "playfully" suggested an open relationship 14 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: rrcRnxrv 05/19/21(Wed)11:05:28 No.322256698 >>322256581 (OP) # >NO000 >NOT DE OPEN RELATIONSHIP OnlyFans for you 104 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: EwgxGIOX) E 05/19/21(Wed)11:05:39 No.322256713 >>322256581 (OP)_# time to "playfully" file for divorce >>322256773 # >>322257143 # >>322257378 # >>322257410 # >>322257595 # >>322257665 # >>322257844 # >>322257954 # >>322257956 # >>322258080 # >>322259177 # >>322259352 # >>322260262 # >>322260414 # >>322260811 #
: Anonymous (ID: UZNjkQMu ) E 05/19/21(Wed)11:03:56 No.322256581 >wife just "playfully" suggested an open relationship 14 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: rrcRnxrv 05/19/21(Wed)11:05:28 No.322256698 >>322256581 (OP) # >NO000 >NOT DE OPEN RELATIONSHIP OnlyFans for you 104 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: EwgxGIOX) E 05/19/21(Wed)11:05:39 No.322256713 >>322256581 (OP)_# time to "playfully" file for divorce >>322256773 # >>322257143 # >>322257378 # >>322257410 # >>322257595 # >>322257665 # >>322257844 # >>322257954 # >>322257956 # >>322258080 # >>322259177 # >>322259352 # >>322260262 # >>322260414 # >>322260811 #

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Anon's reason for not owning a gun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ? 05/19/21(Wed)02:34:46 No.12777234 >he doesnt own a gun Explain yourself 1.3 MB GIF : Anonymous ? 05/19/21(Wed)04:50:27 No.12777414 >>12777234 (OP) # >home invasion >n------ see you armed and shoot at you >try to kill n------ with gun >maybe manage to kill one or two >the others kill you Vs. >home invasion >n------ see you unarmed and hold you at gunpoint, maybe beat you up a little >they take your s--- >still alive afterwards because you didn't think real life was an action movie
: Anonymous ? 05/19/21(Wed)02:34:46 No.12777234 >he doesnt own a gun Explain yourself 1.3 MB GIF : Anonymous ? 05/19/21(Wed)04:50:27 No.12777414 >>12777234 (OP) # >home invasion >n------ see you armed and shoot at you >try to kill n------ with gun >maybe manage to kill one or two >the others kill you Vs. >home invasion >n------ see you unarmed and hold you at gunpoint, maybe beat you up a little >they take your s--- >still alive afterwards because you didn't think real life was an action movie

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WA ME UUUU | /r/Greentext

ile: d48.png (69 KB, 1054x526) Anonymous 2/05/20(Wed)13:33:24 No.56595472 >>56595958 >SOUJA BOI UP IN E HO >WA ME CWANK A WA ME WO >WA ME CWANK DA SO JO BOI DEN SOOPA MA DA HO NA WAH ME >UUUU >SPANK DAT SAW NAW WA ME >UUUUU >SPANK DAT SAW NAH WAH ME >UUUU >SPENG DAT SAH DAH WAH ME
ile: d48.png (69 KB, 1054x526) Anonymous 2/05/20(Wed)13:33:24 No.56595472 >>56595958 >SOUJA BOI UP IN E HO >WA ME CWANK A WA ME WO >WA ME CWANK DA SO JO BOI DEN SOOPA MA DA HO NA WAH ME >UUUU >SPANK DAT SAW NAW WA ME >UUUUU >SPANK DAT SAW NAH WAH ME >UUUU >SPENG DAT SAH DAH WAH ME

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Anon finds milf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)12:29:05 No.785705600 >be me >be in school >teacher is 12/10 milf >give subtle hints and flirt with her >she flirts back >start to get more physical >kissing, hugging etc >one day start kissing and hugging her 40 KB PNG >she kisses back >end up banging her >her husband walks in >s---.jpg >he beats the f--- out of me and throws me out of the house Man I hate being homeschooled
: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)12:29:05 No.785705600 >be me >be in school >teacher is 12/10 milf >give subtle hints and flirt with her >she flirts back >start to get more physical >kissing, hugging etc >one day start kissing and hugging her 40 KB PNG >she kisses back >end up banging her >her husband walks in >s---.jpg >he beats the f--- out of me and throws me out of the house Man I hate being homeschooled

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Anon discusses the history of Steam | /r/Greentext

www.FunnyPica.com Anonymous (ID: XITrghhk ) 03/09/14(Sun)18:57:27 No.536424319 Replies: >>536404991 >the birth of steam
www.FunnyPica.com Anonymous (ID: XITrghhk ) 03/09/14(Sun)18:57:27 No.536424319 Replies: >>536404991 >the birth of steam

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)20:04:04 No.854675303 >be me >10 or 11 >long hair, squeaky voice >people mistake me for a girl a lot >can't wait to have a deeper voice so people stop thinking I'm a girl >puberty 296 KB PNG >deep voice >people stop mistaking me for a girl >all of a sudden I don't like being a guy >wish I was a girl >trans >why anons?
: Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)20:04:04 No.854675303 >be me >10 or 11 >long hair, squeaky voice >people mistake me for a girl a lot >can't wait to have a deeper voice so people stop thinking I'm a girl >puberty 296 KB PNG >deep voice >people stop mistaking me for a girl >all of a sudden I don't like being a guy >wish I was a girl >trans >why anons?

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Anon gets a new experience | /r/Greentext

Guy.jpg (49 KB, 508x718) Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:53:45 >Be me >Вe дay >Start looking at femboys, I start to like them >Go on forums and learn they are real >Start fantasizing about them >Decide to do something >Go to a club to try to hook up >Meet this cute femboy at the bar >After a few drinks we go to my place >Start making out >After a while things get heated >He gets undressed >He has a vagina >She isn't a femboy, shes just a normal girl >MFW I'm actually straight and not a f-----
Guy.jpg (49 KB, 508x718) Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:53:45 >Be me >Вe дay >Start looking at femboys, I start to like them >Go on forums and learn they are real >Start fantasizing about them >Decide to do something >Go to a club to try to hook up >Meet this cute femboy at the bar >After a few drinks we go to my place >Start making out >After a while things get heated >He gets undressed >He has a vagina >She isn't a femboy, shes just a normal girl >MFW I'm actually straight and not a f-----

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Anon goes to a party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/19(Mon)19:13:12 No.798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social 8 KB JPG stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >l always thought I was a social outcast >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman
: Anonymous 04/22/19(Mon)19:13:12 No.798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social 8 KB JPG stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >l always thought I was a social outcast >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman

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Anon loves archer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)21:36:46 No.846744113 >Be me >Start to watch Archer >Develop a love for the main character >Slowly implement his personality into yours >Slowly become Archer himself >Develop new personality and make it 203 KB PNG your own >Family and friends notice behavior and are concerned and push you to get checked out >See a therapist >Get diagnosed with high functioning Autism >Don't have to work anymore with new diagnoses and live off the government >Watch as much Archer as you want forever and ever and get payed for it
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)21:36:46 No.846744113 >Be me >Start to watch Archer >Develop a love for the main character >Slowly implement his personality into yours >Slowly become Archer himself >Develop new personality and make it 203 KB PNG your own >Family and friends notice behavior and are concerned and push you to get checked out >See a therapist >Get diagnosed with high functioning Autism >Don't have to work anymore with new diagnoses and live off the government >Watch as much Archer as you want forever and ever and get payed for it

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Anon is among us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)00:06:34 No.854372193 >be me >have reddit account >lots of karma >everyday I scroll through threads >too much loli and furry p--- for the average beta >sigma male like me does not care 29 KB JPG >sees greentext >swipe.exe >get tons of updoots and awards for scrolling through 4chan Tee hee
: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)00:06:34 No.854372193 >be me >have reddit account >lots of karma >everyday I scroll through threads >too much loli and furry p--- for the average beta >sigma male like me does not care 29 KB JPG >sees greentext >swipe.exe >get tons of updoots and awards for scrolling through 4chan Tee hee

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Anon spends his time well | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat)14:47:14 No.17454467 >never looked into how many Pepes I had >check just now >1,019 images damn, what if I spent this time doing something worthwhile? 297 KB PNG >>17454513 # Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat) 14:48:43 No.17454513 >>17454467 # >collecting pepes >not being "worthwhile"
Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat)14:47:14 No.17454467 >never looked into how many Pepes I had >check just now >1,019 images damn, what if I spent this time doing something worthwhile? 297 KB PNG >>17454513 # Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat) 14:48:43 No.17454513 >>17454467 # >collecting pepes >not being "worthwhile"

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Anon makes a new friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)13:59:35 No.854728216 >be me 2006 >sexless virgin >officially a scene kid with hair over my eye, tight jeans, and band tee >go to week long Christian church revival held on college campus during summer >lots of teens all staying in the empty WDERCATH 591 KB JPG college dorms >my friend Colin introduces me to some girls he knows >one is a scene queen, Anna, totally think she's hot >hit it off with her right away >have my first kiss on the end of the first day >hang out with her all week, blowing off most church activities >mostly ignore Colin >4th day Anna and I sneak off to the dorms to be alone >think we're just gonna make out, but still happy >she tells me she has a condom >tells me she wants to be have sex >totally agree, being 16 and sexless >she gives me the condom, touches my peen >first time a girl has touched it >pull my jeans down, they're so tight they stay in place with my ass showing >put on the condom >she lifts her skirt up and panties down >first time l've seen a vagine irl >she lays on the bed, I move in close and line up >thislslt.jpeg >a quarter inch away from penetrating >3 adults suddenly burst into the room >startled, turn around, condom d--- flailing wildly >"You are both in so much trouble! Your parents will hear about this! Thank god Colin came and got us." >see Colin standing sheepishly in the hallway >get in a lot of trouble, banned from activities, asked not to come back next year if I'm “on the same path" >Anna lives 6 hours away from me, never end up seeing her again >didn't lose my virginity for another 3 years >if my d--- had been a half inch longer I would have lost my virginity F--- you Colin
: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)13:59:35 No.854728216 >be me 2006 >sexless virgin >officially a scene kid with hair over my eye, tight jeans, and band tee >go to week long Christian church revival held on college campus during summer >lots of teens all staying in the empty WDERCATH 591 KB JPG college dorms >my friend Colin introduces me to some girls he knows >one is a scene queen, Anna, totally think she's hot >hit it off with her right away >have my first kiss on the end of the first day >hang out with her all week, blowing off most church activities >mostly ignore Colin >4th day Anna and I sneak off to the dorms to be alone >think we're just gonna make out, but still happy >she tells me she has a condom >tells me she wants to be have sex >totally agree, being 16 and sexless >she gives me the condom, touches my peen >first time a girl has touched it >pull my jeans down, they're so tight they stay in place with my ass showing >put on the condom >she lifts her skirt up and panties down >first time l've seen a vagine irl >she lays on the bed, I move in close and line up >thislslt.jpeg >a quarter inch away from penetrating >3 adults suddenly burst into the room >startled, turn around, condom d--- flailing wildly >"You are both in so much trouble! Your parents will hear about this! Thank god Colin came and got us." >see Colin standing sheepishly in the hallway >get in a lot of trouble, banned from activities, asked not to come back next year if I'm “on the same path" >Anna lives 6 hours away from me, never end up seeing her again >didn't lose my virginity for another 3 years >if my d--- had been a half inch longer I would have lost my virginity F--- you Colin

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Anon gets along with his roommate... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)20:34:23 No.854751781 >be me >roommate is a 7/10 female- type >she's clean >she's quiet >she's chill 178 KB JPG >she brought furniture >find out we have the same taste in music >we start hanging out a bunch >start smoking together >first girl I've been really close to in a while >first person I've been really close to in a while >her lease is up >tell her should renew >tell her she's a good roommate >a bit embarrassing >being vulnerable always is >but you gotta tell your friends they matter to you "I'm not gonna lie, anon, I've gotta get out of here. Listening to the sounds you jerking off over the last few months has been traumatising."
: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)20:34:23 No.854751781 >be me >roommate is a 7/10 female- type >she's clean >she's quiet >she's chill 178 KB JPG >she brought furniture >find out we have the same taste in music >we start hanging out a bunch >start smoking together >first girl I've been really close to in a while >first person I've been really close to in a while >her lease is up >tell her should renew >tell her she's a good roommate >a bit embarrassing >being vulnerable always is >but you gotta tell your friends they matter to you "I'm not gonna lie, anon, I've gotta get out of here. Listening to the sounds you jerking off over the last few months has been traumatising."

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