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Anons boss is a memer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY

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Anon is making frens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)21:28:17 No.854597956 Is it too late to make new friends at 28? 49 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)21:28:53 No.854597997 I'll be your fren
: Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)21:28:17 No.854597956 Is it too late to make new friends at 28? 49 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)21:28:53 No.854597997 I'll be your fren

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Anon loses a /b/ro.... | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related
>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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Anon has been lied to | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: izbFOSop 05/17/21(Mon)10:45:09 No.12763197 >be me >meet sweet Russian girl on snap >aw yeah time to get me a based redpilled Russian gf >we get talking and send pics of our faces to each other >she's a 9/10 >she says she likes me and thinks 44 KB JPG I'm handsome >ask how Russia is >"it is okay. New generation is more tolerable and anti racist" >"Russian men are racist and homophobic which is not good" >mfw Russiabros w--? I thought your women were based? I was lied to. 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: izbFOSop 05/17/21(Mon)10:45:09 No.12763197 >be me >meet sweet Russian girl on snap >aw yeah time to get me a based redpilled Russian gf >we get talking and send pics of our faces to each other >she's a 9/10 >she says she likes me and thinks 44 KB JPG I'm handsome >ask how Russia is >"it is okay. New generation is more tolerable and anti racist" >"Russian men are racist and homophobic which is not good" >mfw Russiabros w--? I thought your women were based? I was lied to. 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is conceived in iran | /r/Greentext

>be me >have one shot at life >born gay in iran mfw PNG 429.57 KB
>be me >have one shot at life >born gay in iran mfw PNG 429.57 KB

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Anon is conscripted into the military | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "00000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week
>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "00000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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Anon fights for our country | /r/Greentext


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Anon doesn't get fooled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 min. ago >look kid, losing your virginity is not gonna make your life better. Lay down here, l'll show you. w-what's the correct move here? 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous 5 min. ago >>52564939 (OP) >Put her in a choke hold and hold a knife to her throat >Call out to the men that were hiding in wait to ambush you once your guard was down >Use her a hostage/shield to exit the building >Cut her face once you're outside then run If you think you're g----------- and not having your organs harvested then you're already dead.
Anonymous 9 min. ago >look kid, losing your virginity is not gonna make your life better. Lay down here, l'll show you. w-what's the correct move here? 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous 5 min. ago >>52564939 (OP) >Put her in a choke hold and hold a knife to her throat >Call out to the men that were hiding in wait to ambush you once your guard was down >Use her a hostage/shield to exit the building >Cut her face once you're outside then run If you think you're g----------- and not having your organs harvested then you're already dead.

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Anon wants to get rid of date | /r/Greentext


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Anon asks a provocative question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #
: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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Anon thinks that there is a 50% chance that Finland does not exist | /r/Greentext

Perkele!! There are allegedly around 6.5 million Finns, right? That's out of a 7.125 billion humans. That means Finns make up .0912% of the planet. That's not 9%–that's point zero nine percent, less than a percent, less than a tenth of a percent. To put that another way, 99.9% of the planet are not Finns. How do we know this? Government censuses. Now, the best government censuses have a margin of error of at least 1%. So Finns make up .0912% of the planet, plus or minus one percent. In conclusion: there is a 50/50 chance Finland doesn't exist.
Perkele!! There are allegedly around 6.5 million Finns, right? That's out of a 7.125 billion humans. That means Finns make up .0912% of the planet. That's not 9%–that's point zero nine percent, less than a percent, less than a tenth of a percent. To put that another way, 99.9% of the planet are not Finns. How do we know this? Government censuses. Now, the best government censuses have a margin of error of at least 1%. So Finns make up .0912% of the planet, plus or minus one percent. In conclusion: there is a 50/50 chance Finland doesn't exist.

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Anon loves black people now | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/28/19(Mon) 16:41:49 No.812813526 Maybe black people arnt that bad. >be me, 4 years ago >first day of highschool >hella shy and dont know anyone since I moved 22 KB JPG >day goes well, then I get on the bus to go home >l'm planning out what I'm gonna do in my head to get off >while planning I miss my stop and say quietly "hey, you missed my stop.." >black kid sitting behind me stands up and yells "AYO BUS LADY, YOU MISSED THIS KIDS STOP!" >she stops the bus and asks who
Anonymous 10/28/19(Mon) 16:41:49 No.812813526 Maybe black people arnt that bad. >be me, 4 years ago >first day of highschool >hella shy and dont know anyone since I moved 22 KB JPG >day goes well, then I get on the bus to go home >l'm planning out what I'm gonna do in my head to get off >while planning I miss my stop and say quietly "hey, you missed my stop.." >black kid sitting behind me stands up and yells "AYO BUS LADY, YOU MISSED THIS KIDS STOP!" >she stops the bus and asks who

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Anon learns Korean language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)22:11:49 No.48545174 >be me | >want to learn korean >google how to read korean >click on a video explaining hangul >finish video, learned how to read >feelsgood.mov 30 KB JPG >scroll down to comment section to see if theres any useful information >ohno.jpg >every comment is "WHO ELSE IS HERE FOR BTS" or "ANY ARMIES??" suddenly, i dont want to learn korean anymore
: Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)22:11:49 No.48545174 >be me | >want to learn korean >google how to read korean >click on a video explaining hangul >finish video, learned how to read >feelsgood.mov 30 KB JPG >scroll down to comment section to see if theres any useful information >ohno.jpg >every comment is "WHO ELSE IS HERE FOR BTS" or "ANY ARMIES??" suddenly, i dont want to learn korean anymore

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Anon visits social media to talk about politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon feels good | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)17:15:03 No.24163162 >Feel good >Remember my feeling is temporary and it's only a matter of time before I feel like s--- again. >Stop feeling good 23 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)17:15:03 No.24163162 >Feel good >Remember my feeling is temporary and it's only a matter of time before I feel like s--- again. >Stop feeling good 23 KB JPG

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Anon goes on patrol | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Oi//MEH0 ) 04/26/14(Sat)01:38:43 No.543898176 >Вe a cop >Patrolling, doing cop things >See a guy driving like 15 miles below the speed limit >Swerving around like a m----------- 36 KB JPG >Can see lots of smoke coming out of his windows >Assume he's blazing it, pull him over >Walk up to his window and he rolls it down >He's got a f------ hot plate plugged into his c-------- lighter >M----------- is making pancakes while driving and burned them
Anonymous (ID: Oi//MEH0 ) 04/26/14(Sat)01:38:43 No.543898176 >Вe a cop >Patrolling, doing cop things >See a guy driving like 15 miles below the speed limit >Swerving around like a m----------- 36 KB JPG >Can see lots of smoke coming out of his windows >Assume he's blazing it, pull him over >Walk up to his window and he rolls it down >He's got a f------ hot plate plugged into his c-------- lighter >M----------- is making pancakes while driving and burned them

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Femanon talks about male privileges | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)20:12:37 No.63695656 i wish i was a guy >they can make friends on the internet even if theyre unattractive >they get to be majority on the internet >they can have kids without having to get pregnant or give birth 43 KB JPG >they are able to go on night walks without getting r---- >they dont have to have long hair to be attractive >they dont have to have cute features to be attractive >they are taken more seriously than women and their opinion is valued more >THEY CAN BE UGLY AND STILL WELL LIKED thats the biggie i think i may just have to transition at this point : Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)20:15:17 No.63695676 >>63695656 (OP) # Begone from this board, woman. No one cares about you or your post.
: Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)20:12:37 No.63695656 i wish i was a guy >they can make friends on the internet even if theyre unattractive >they get to be majority on the internet >they can have kids without having to get pregnant or give birth 43 KB JPG >they are able to go on night walks without getting r---- >they dont have to have long hair to be attractive >they dont have to have cute features to be attractive >they are taken more seriously than women and their opinion is valued more >THEY CAN BE UGLY AND STILL WELL LIKED thats the biggie i think i may just have to transition at this point : Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)20:15:17 No.63695676 >>63695656 (OP) # Begone from this board, woman. No one cares about you or your post.

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Anon is a retarded virgin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 86CV+l4z ) 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test for testicular cancer and can 38 KB JPG show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot
Anonymous (ID: 86CV+l4z ) 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test for testicular cancer and can 38 KB JPG show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot

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Anon gets annoyed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/12/16(Mon)13:38:56 No.31351260 File: 325.jpg (14 KB, 600x600) >>31352086 >the guy moans louder then the girl ŠHUT THE F--- UP
Anonymous 09/12/16(Mon)13:38:56 No.31351260 File: 325.jpg (14 KB, 600x600) >>31352086 >the guy moans louder then the girl ŠHUT THE F--- UP

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Anon is too poor to die | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)17:12:44 No.777907873 7B75F29B-A800-49FA-B71A-09F8E56A33CD.jpg 42 KB JPG >be me >hella f----- depressed >wanttocommitsuicide.mp3 >don't have a gun >too afraid to hang myself >this isn't the 18th century, so no rat poison won't do the job >won't drink bleach because it taste bad prolly >I like opiates >too bad can't afford them Mfw I have to live.
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)17:12:44 No.777907873 7B75F29B-A800-49FA-B71A-09F8E56A33CD.jpg 42 KB JPG >be me >hella f----- depressed >wanttocommitsuicide.mp3 >don't have a gun >too afraid to hang myself >this isn't the 18th century, so no rat poison won't do the job >won't drink bleach because it taste bad prolly >I like opiates >too bad can't afford them Mfw I have to live.

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