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Anons plot twist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428 >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if l'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:40:04 No.795899524 What sort of restaurant?
: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428 >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if l'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:40:04 No.795899524 What sort of restaurant?

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Anon plays Skyrim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)05:57:01 No.854467758 >be me >low fps on hyper-modded skyrim >decide to manualy lower resolution (for a slightly lower number coz i dont have ocd) >do it once, works 70 KB JPG >second time it is not fullscreen nor borderless >look into it, steam has overwritten my choices >smuggabenewel.png >get scared >shut down computer so he wont find me >get text message from unknown number >"Too late" and a selfie of Todd Howard with an rpg on my street >mfw im scared bros what do i do
: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)05:57:01 No.854467758 >be me >low fps on hyper-modded skyrim >decide to manualy lower resolution (for a slightly lower number coz i dont have ocd) >do it once, works 70 KB JPG >second time it is not fullscreen nor borderless >look into it, steam has overwritten my choices >smuggabenewel.png >get scared >shut down computer so he wont find me >get text message from unknown number >"Too late" and a selfie of Todd Howard with an rpg on my street >mfw im scared bros what do i do

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Anon demonstrates his dominance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)18:33:47 No.63682557 i p----- myself on purpose in elementary school >had to pee >other kids were talking to the teacher >didnt see any logic in asking her to go the bathroom 317 KB JPG >just p----- myself on purpose infront of everyone >looked at teacher as i did it >pure silence as everyone looks at me now that im done >she escorted me to the bathroom >she got me a change of clothing >got to colour in all day >nobody bullied me >they feared me i saw it in their eyes im also a female how many of you males have even come close to something like this? im betting none
: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)18:33:47 No.63682557 i p----- myself on purpose in elementary school >had to pee >other kids were talking to the teacher >didnt see any logic in asking her to go the bathroom 317 KB JPG >just p----- myself on purpose infront of everyone >looked at teacher as i did it >pure silence as everyone looks at me now that im done >she escorted me to the bathroom >she got me a change of clothing >got to colour in all day >nobody bullied me >they feared me i saw it in their eyes im also a female how many of you males have even come close to something like this? im betting none

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Anon has close relationship with soon to be daddy-in-law | /r/Greentext

5:17 PM 37% Anonymous 06/09/17(Fri)15:31:25 No.735296709 Alright l'll tell you the story you f----- >be me 16 >gf 15 >constant Bonner from no p---- 204 KB JPG >gf finally ready to take the trouser snake >family BBQ at her house >everyone outside BBQing >we go downsatirs >futon in the hallway >she takes of her pants leaves shirt on climbs on top of me >throw blanket over us while she rides me like a champ >suddenly sliding door to outside opens >fuuuuug it's her dad >dad drops beer on the floor immediately picks it up stuttering ss s sss sorry >gf screams out we are just laying here! >her basically sprints out the sliding door >can't believe she says we can continue but make it fast >c-- with the force of a thousand suns >my d--- is Thor's hammer MFW this was 9 years ago and we are now engaged and will be getting married in October MFW soon to be father in law watched me deflower his daughter ...
5:17 PM 37% Anonymous 06/09/17(Fri)15:31:25 No.735296709 Alright l'll tell you the story you f----- >be me 16 >gf 15 >constant Bonner from no p---- 204 KB JPG >gf finally ready to take the trouser snake >family BBQ at her house >everyone outside BBQing >we go downsatirs >futon in the hallway >she takes of her pants leaves shirt on climbs on top of me >throw blanket over us while she rides me like a champ >suddenly sliding door to outside opens >fuuuuug it's her dad >dad drops beer on the floor immediately picks it up stuttering ss s sss sorry >gf screams out we are just laying here! >her basically sprints out the sliding door >can't believe she says we can continue but make it fast >c-- with the force of a thousand suns >my d--- is Thor's hammer MFW this was 9 years ago and we are now engaged and will be getting married in October MFW soon to be father in law watched me deflower his daughter ...

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Anon discovers the cure | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG

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Anon finds the hot single | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)05:49:51 No.854467402 >be me >first man on mars >open up pornhub to celebrate >"hot singles near you" >l've searched for 4 years now >going home soon >I finally found her 334 KB JPG >had good sex >going home now >Nasa sent hot girls to mars >if you are wondering 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)05:49:51 No.854467402 >be me >first man on mars >open up pornhub to celebrate >"hot singles near you" >l've searched for 4 years now >going home soon >I finally found her 334 KB JPG >had good sex >going home now >Nasa sent hot girls to mars >if you are wondering 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)20:58:08 No.63085953 Ascension >at fencing today >facing off against one of the girls in my class 19 KB JPG >get a touch on her >l poked a girl with my saber Later virgins
: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)20:58:08 No.63085953 Ascension >at fencing today >facing off against one of the girls in my class 19 KB JPG >get a touch on her >l poked a girl with my saber Later virgins

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Anon has big sad | /r/Greentext

: Walrus !!pND+/6DSKL+ 08/11/18(Sat)10:19:46 No.47435677 >about to commit suicide >helium tank and gas mask assembly complete >equip mask >turn on tank 29 KB PNG >sit down in chair >close eyes >Dad opens door >"ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!?" >take off mask >prepare the most dramatic heartfelt speech I can muster >deep breath >forget there is helium in my lungs >the words "you'll never know the pain I've been through" come out like an Alvin and the chipmunks special >mfw he died laughing and left
: Walrus !!pND+/6DSKL+ 08/11/18(Sat)10:19:46 No.47435677 >about to commit suicide >helium tank and gas mask assembly complete >equip mask >turn on tank 29 KB PNG >sit down in chair >close eyes >Dad opens door >"ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!?" >take off mask >prepare the most dramatic heartfelt speech I can muster >deep breath >forget there is helium in my lungs >the words "you'll never know the pain I've been through" come out like an Alvin and the chipmunks special >mfw he died laughing and left

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)07:08:30 No.63542 >tfw had to strip down infront of airport security because i had a metal chasity cage on 7 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)07:08:30 No.63542 >tfw had to strip down infront of airport security because i had a metal chasity cage on 7 KB JPG

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Anon gets bluepilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)16:47:53 No.63038161 >meet stacy >she's actually a nice person who talks to me and asks me how im doing Why did you lie to me, bros? 25 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)16:47:53 No.63038161 >meet stacy >she's actually a nice person who talks to me and asks me how im doing Why did you lie to me, bros? 25 KB JPG

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Anon is a star wars fan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)08:55:48 No.854477149 >Be me (really strong) (star wars aficionado) >Go to target >See a chump in a star wars shirt Lessontime.jpeg >Go up to him >"If you're such a Star Wars fan, what year did Episode 1 start and 128 KB JPG what year did episode 10 end?" >All he can mudder outs is "Goo goo ga ga ma ma ma ma." >Slap the s--- out of him and make him cry like a little bitch >#noposersallowed >#truefansonly So /b/ do you know any good lawyers?
: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)08:55:48 No.854477149 >Be me (really strong) (star wars aficionado) >Go to target >See a chump in a star wars shirt Lessontime.jpeg >Go up to him >"If you're such a Star Wars fan, what year did Episode 1 start and 128 KB JPG what year did episode 10 end?" >All he can mudder outs is "Goo goo ga ga ma ma ma ma." >Slap the s--- out of him and make him cry like a little bitch >#noposersallowed >#truefansonly So /b/ do you know any good lawyers?

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Why yes, I am a Millenial. How could you tell? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 591RIMEK 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 591RIMEK 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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Anon dodges inceldom | /r/Greentext

File: victory jpg (333 KB, 1280x1263) Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)11:32:50 No.854463807 >be me, 5'6, ugly as hell >can't get girls, on way to bitter inceldom >on a 3 am wikipedia binge end up on page of Frida Kahlo >read up on how her husband influenced her art >look up her husband >easily in the top 10 of ugliest m------------ I've ever seen, pot of greed -looking m----------- >could be used as a character reference in Ugly Bastard hentai. >and he cheated on her left and right >look into more artists who were ugly as s--- but had a love and sex life >apparently it's possible to get laid while looking like 3 overlayed racist propaganda caricatures if you're genuinely passionate about something >lve been told I'm good with words, decide to start writing stories >people don't want to read other peoples' writing, pour my frustration about this in stick figure comics >people actually like those >start writing comic scripts, write a whole-ass post-apocalyptic graphic novel >turns out finding an artist willing to draw it is just as hard as finding a girlfriend >teach myself to draw, insist that the comic will be good despite of the drawings being ugly as hell, because there's plot and substance >develop a weird and janky but still comprehensible art style >finish the 150-page thing, re-draw the first few pages after I'm done because h-------- they were crappy >start hunting after publishers, find a small comic print house that's interested in weird and quirky sci-fi >start meeting other people in the comics field >women included >actually find myself talking to women without being weird and having something to talk with them >get female friends >talk to someone once, make a joke about my lack of success on tinder >she mentions she's got a friend who'd probably be interested in meeting >ffw got a date for next friday
File: victory jpg (333 KB, 1280x1263) Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)11:32:50 No.854463807 >be me, 5'6, ugly as hell >can't get girls, on way to bitter inceldom >on a 3 am wikipedia binge end up on page of Frida Kahlo >read up on how her husband influenced her art >look up her husband >easily in the top 10 of ugliest m------------ I've ever seen, pot of greed -looking m----------- >could be used as a character reference in Ugly Bastard hentai. >and he cheated on her left and right >look into more artists who were ugly as s--- but had a love and sex life >apparently it's possible to get laid while looking like 3 overlayed racist propaganda caricatures if you're genuinely passionate about something >lve been told I'm good with words, decide to start writing stories >people don't want to read other peoples' writing, pour my frustration about this in stick figure comics >people actually like those >start writing comic scripts, write a whole-ass post-apocalyptic graphic novel >turns out finding an artist willing to draw it is just as hard as finding a girlfriend >teach myself to draw, insist that the comic will be good despite of the drawings being ugly as hell, because there's plot and substance >develop a weird and janky but still comprehensible art style >finish the 150-page thing, re-draw the first few pages after I'm done because h-------- they were crappy >start hunting after publishers, find a small comic print house that's interested in weird and quirky sci-fi >start meeting other people in the comics field >women included >actually find myself talking to women without being weird and having something to talk with them >get female friends >talk to someone once, make a joke about my lack of success on tinder >she mentions she's got a friend who'd probably be interested in meeting >ffw got a date for next friday

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Anon has a high IQ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)15:12:04 No.63670306 >260-285 IQ >Just finalized my IQ test, realize it atya runs to 285 IQ >Was being too lenient in the grading S ta 184 KB JPG https://pastebin.com/VGNZAUZW Today is a good day. I'm up 10-12k on Suncor stock at the moment as well. 165 Replies / 14 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)03:42:53 No.63677951 1621065736257.jpg 70 KB JPG >>63670352 # > 260-285 IQ > bragging on a board full of degenerate coomers
: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)15:12:04 No.63670306 >260-285 IQ >Just finalized my IQ test, realize it atya runs to 285 IQ >Was being too lenient in the grading S ta 184 KB JPG https://pastebin.com/VGNZAUZW Today is a good day. I'm up 10-12k on Suncor stock at the moment as well. 165 Replies / 14 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)03:42:53 No.63677951 1621065736257.jpg 70 KB JPG >>63670352 # > 260-285 IQ > bragging on a board full of degenerate coomers

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Anon needs to git gud | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)15:15:40 No.62877798 >want to play game with friends >suck at said game >even after trying to learn, still suck >they start to get vocal about me | shall never smile again. hindering them I just wanted to have fun with you 9 KB JPG guys
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)15:15:40 No.62877798 >want to play game with friends >suck at said game >even after trying to learn, still suck >they start to get vocal about me | shall never smile again. hindering them I just wanted to have fun with you 9 KB JPG guys

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Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous05/15/21(Sat)02:47:40 No.854436031 >bored >hit up girl, see if she wants to go for a drive >spend the whole day driving around, going to stores and having fun >heading back home, C- 132 KB JPG jamming to some music >she asks if I can drop her off to stay the night at her bfs house | >mfw 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous05/15/21(Sat)02:47:40 No.854436031 >bored >hit up girl, see if she wants to go for a drive >spend the whole day driving around, going to stores and having fun >heading back home, C- 132 KB JPG jamming to some music >she asks if I can drop her off to stay the night at her bfs house | >mfw 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon goes to college | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)07:42:00 No.63676637 >moving into a dorm this fall >already having gay thoughts about roommates 156 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)07:42:00 No.63676637 >moving into a dorm this fall >already having gay thoughts about roommates 156 KB PNG

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Anon likes black people | /r/Greentext

Maybe black people arnt that bad. >be me, 4 years ago >first day of highschool >hella shy and dont know anyone since I moved 22 KB JPG >day goes well, then I get on the bus to go home >l'm planning out what I'm gonna do in my head to get off >while planning I miss my stop and say quietly "hey, you missed my stop.." >black kid sitting behind me stands up and yells "AYO BUS LADY, YOU MISSED THIS KIDS STOP!" >she stops the bus and asks who
Maybe black people arnt that bad. >be me, 4 years ago >first day of highschool >hella shy and dont know anyone since I moved 22 KB JPG >day goes well, then I get on the bus to go home >l'm planning out what I'm gonna do in my head to get off >while planning I miss my stop and say quietly "hey, you missed my stop.." >black kid sitting behind me stands up and yells "AYO BUS LADY, YOU MISSED THIS KIDS STOP!" >she stops the bus and asks who

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Anon couldn’t sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)22:39:46 No.849604187 >be me >i have to put a different object under my pillow every night or i cant fall asleep >used every single object in my house 61 KB JPG >cant sleep for 3 days >its my birthday >mom buys me a gift >i can sleep now >i love you mom
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)22:39:46 No.849604187 >be me >i have to put a different object under my pillow every night or i cant fall asleep >used every single object in my house 61 KB JPG >cant sleep for 3 days >its my birthday >mom buys me a gift >i can sleep now >i love you mom

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Anon is new to 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous help 05/15/21(Sat)08:08:53 No.63676851 >be me >be a 4chan beginner >type in 4chan.com instead of .org >it shows p--- 88 KB PNG
: Anonymous help 05/15/21(Sat)08:08:53 No.63676851 >be me >be a 4chan beginner >type in 4chan.com instead of .org >it shows p--- 88 KB PNG

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