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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon comes up with a life hack | /r/Greentext

File: evil pepe.jpg (7 KB, 92x109) O Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)16:26:58 No.854353976 ► >hear losing 50lbs adds 1 inch to your benis idea.tiff >gain 500lbs >lose 500lbs >have foot long dong checkmate athiests
File: evil pepe.jpg (7 KB, 92x109) O Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)16:26:58 No.854353976 ► >hear losing 50lbs adds 1 inch to your benis idea.tiff >gain 500lbs >lose 500lbs >have foot long dong checkmate athiests

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Anon is Scottish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)12:00:52 No.63652890 >Be scottish >renowned as some of the best fighters ever >defeated the best armies in the world, romans didn't want to try and fight the Scots, defeated the English multiple 31 KB JPG times >Hitler regarded us as "devils in skirts" >majority of officers in the British Empire were scottish Fast-Forward to today >get arrested for saying the gamer word Has there ever been a worse downfall than this? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)12:00:52 No.63652890 >Be scottish >renowned as some of the best fighters ever >defeated the best armies in the world, romans didn't want to try and fight the Scots, defeated the English multiple 31 KB JPG times >Hitler regarded us as "devils in skirts" >majority of officers in the British Empire were scottish Fast-Forward to today >get arrested for saying the gamer word Has there ever been a worse downfall than this? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon smiles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)03:14:45 No.63659960 >be me >walking in the park >dressed in jeans and a nice polo shirt >a group of pretty college age girls walks by >see them looking at me >they walk past me 806 KB PNG >hear "that boy is cute" >l smile I used to be a fat unhealthy slob, but now im skinny and kinda muscular. Anything is possible boys. Don't give up. : Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)03:22:30 No.63660037 Happy for you man, keep at it
: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)03:14:45 No.63659960 >be me >walking in the park >dressed in jeans and a nice polo shirt >a group of pretty college age girls walks by >see them looking at me >they walk past me 806 KB PNG >hear "that boy is cute" >l smile I used to be a fat unhealthy slob, but now im skinny and kinda muscular. Anything is possible boys. Don't give up. : Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)03:22:30 No.63660037 Happy for you man, keep at it

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Great advice anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)04:49:44 No.63345759 >Wake up >Tinnitus starts again 44 KB PNG 16 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)06:35:42 No.63346652 >>63345759 (OP) # Have you tried not listening to it? 54 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)04:49:44 No.63345759 >Wake up >Tinnitus starts again 44 KB PNG 16 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)06:35:42 No.63346652 >>63345759 (OP) # Have you tried not listening to it? 54 KB JPG

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Gotta love high school | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 04/20/11(Wed)19:34 No.7072774 [!] File1303342470.jpg-(6 KB, 242x208, images4.jpg) >in high school >GIANT LANDWHALE, 400+ Ib >is universally known by the school as the fattest kid >senior year, she's voted 'most well-rounded' >mfw
I Anonymous 04/20/11(Wed)19:34 No.7072774 [!] File1303342470.jpg-(6 KB, 242x208, images4.jpg) >in high school >GIANT LANDWHALE, 400+ Ib >is universally known by the school as the fattest kid >senior year, she's voted 'most well-rounded' >mfw

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Anon has no confidence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)06:41:26 No.60863896 >Think that everyone f------ hates me >Therapist tells me this is a delusion and that if I don't believe that, I should ask people straight up if they hate me >Don't have any friends, so I ask my mom if she hates me >"I don't hate you, I just wish things had turn out 722 KB PNG differently" That clearly means she hates me
Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)06:41:26 No.60863896 >Think that everyone f------ hates me >Therapist tells me this is a delusion and that if I don't believe that, I should ask people straight up if they hate me >Don't have any friends, so I ask my mom if she hates me >"I don't hate you, I just wish things had turn out 722 KB PNG differently" That clearly means she hates me

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Anon makes a controversial statement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)22:35 UTC-7 No.24340750 Replies: >>24340781 >>24340789 >>24340792 >>24340800 >>24340861 >24340899 >>24340902 >>24340910 >>24340920 >>24340922 >>24340949 >>24340951 >>24340976 >>24340989 >>24340999 >>24341007 >>24341028 >>24341029 >>24341065 >>24341068 >24341080 >>24341090 >>24341107 >>24341140 >>24341153 >>24341162 >>24341170 >>24341203 >>24341237 >>24341240 >>24341244 >>24341263 >>24341271 >>24341284 >>24341288 >>24341306 >>24341312>>24341336 >24341364 >>24341386 >>24341424 >>24341425 >>24341449 >>24341464 >>24341466 >24341472 >>24341513 >>24341527 >>24341539 >>24341595 >>24341600 >>24341625 >>24341629 >>24341642 >>24341673 >>24341674 >>24341706 >>24341707 >>24341729 >>24341738 >>24341750 >>24341765 >>24341773 >>24341780 >>24341794 >24341796 >>24341816 >>24341824 >>24341845 >>24341857 >>24341884 >>24341888 >>24341889 >>24341890 >>24341901 >>24341902 >>24341925 >>24341931 >>24341939 >>24341945 >>24341954 >>24341968 >>24341980 >>24341985 >>24341989 >>24342015 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>>24346963 >>24346967 >>24346973 >>24346976 >>24346979 >>24346980 >>24346983 >24346984 >>24346987 >>24346988 >>24346989 >>24346990 >>24346995 >24346999 >>24347000 >>24347001 >>24347002 >>24347005 >>24347011 >>24347013>>24347015 24347017 >>24347018 >>24347020 >>24347025 >>24347026 >>24347027 >>24347030 >>24347038 >>24347039 >>24347040 >>24347042 >>24347045 >>24347048 >>24347051 >>24347055 >>24347058 >24347059 >>24347060 >>24347063 >>24347073 >>24347076 >>24347078 >>24347083 >>24347085 >>24347087 >>24347089 >>24347092 >>24347097 >>24347098 >>24347102 >>24347103 >>24347104 >24347105 >>24347106 >>24347109 >>24347111 >24347113 >>24347123 >>24347124 >>24347126 >>24347127 >>24347128 >>24347132 >>24347135 2>24347136 >>24347141 >>24347142 >>24347143 >>24347144 >>24347147 >>24347148 >>24347157 >>24347161 >>24347164 >>24347166 >>24347167 >>24347174 >>24347175 >>24347177 >>24347178 >>24347179 >>24347181 >24347182 >>24347190 >>24340738 there is literally nothing wrong with being jewish
Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)22:35 UTC-7 No.24340750 Replies: >>24340781 >>24340789 >>24340792 >>24340800 >>24340861 >24340899 >>24340902 >>24340910 >>24340920 >>24340922 >>24340949 >>24340951 >>24340976 >>24340989 >>24340999 >>24341007 >>24341028 >>24341029 >>24341065 >>24341068 >24341080 >>24341090 >>24341107 >>24341140 >>24341153 >>24341162 >>24341170 >>24341203 >>24341237 >>24341240 >>24341244 >>24341263 >>24341271 >>24341284 >>24341288 >>24341306 >>24341312>>24341336 >24341364 >>24341386 >>24341424 >>24341425 >>24341449 >>24341464 >>24341466 >24341472 >>24341513 >>24341527 >>24341539 >>24341595 >>24341600 >>24341625 >>24341629 >>24341642 >>24341673 >>24341674 >>24341706 >>24341707 >>24341729 >>24341738 >>24341750 >>24341765 >>24341773 >>24341780 >>24341794 >24341796 >>24341816 >>24341824 >>24341845 >>24341857 >>24341884 >>24341888 >>24341889 >>24341890 >>24341901 >>24341902 >>24341925 >>24341931 >>24341939 >>24341945 >>24341954 >>24341968 >>24341980 >>24341985 >>24341989 >>24342015 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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)22:15:18 No.63656164 >egirls imply the existence of physical girls we just have to find them, they must be out there somewhere 32 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)22:15:18 No.63656164 >egirls imply the existence of physical girls we just have to find them, they must be out there somewhere 32 KB JPG

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No amount of muscles can hide your autism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)22:52 No.27786295 >go walking to a new gym by my house everyday >its raining >cute /fit/ receptionist asks me to give her a ride home >"y-yeah s-s-sure" 9 KB JPG >don't even have a car >oh god what do i do what do i do >in the parking lot keep getting deeper and deeper into the lie >stand in the parking lot for a few seconds >"are you okay?" she asks >start sprinting away from her >sprint all the way to my house >never been to that gym again this was like 4 months ago..
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)22:52 No.27786295 >go walking to a new gym by my house everyday >its raining >cute /fit/ receptionist asks me to give her a ride home >"y-yeah s-s-sure" 9 KB JPG >don't even have a car >oh god what do i do what do i do >in the parking lot keep getting deeper and deeper into the lie >stand in the parking lot for a few seconds >"are you okay?" she asks >start sprinting away from her >sprint all the way to my house >never been to that gym again this was like 4 months ago..

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Anon enters a random classroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)10:37:40 No.854308824 >at school >enters a random classroom >shouts the n-word >walks out of the school 415 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)10:37:40 No.854308824 >at school >enters a random classroom >shouts the n-word >walks out of the school 415 KB PNG

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Anon likes Metallica | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)12:14:40 No.61814122 >wake up at 2 pm >ignore the 3 phone calls from my wendy's manager >eat a bowl of cap n crunch >get dressed for work and head out >enter my 97 corrola and immediately turn on enter 80 KB JPG sandman >light a c-- and smoke in the car >enter work with no name tag >manager yells at me but i call her a bitch >she can't do anything because i hid all the write- up forms beforehand >proceed to make nuggies and fries for the next 6 hours >feeling down near the end of my shift >play fade to black on my way home why are metallica fans like this? View Thread
: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)12:14:40 No.61814122 >wake up at 2 pm >ignore the 3 phone calls from my wendy's manager >eat a bowl of cap n crunch >get dressed for work and head out >enter my 97 corrola and immediately turn on enter 80 KB JPG sandman >light a c-- and smoke in the car >enter work with no name tag >manager yells at me but i call her a bitch >she can't do anything because i hid all the write- up forms beforehand >proceed to make nuggies and fries for the next 6 hours >feeling down near the end of my shift >play fade to black on my way home why are metallica fans like this? View Thread

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Anon talks too much | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)19:20:55 No.63607963 >be me >have a presentation today >has to be atleast 20 minutes >scared that i will not talk enough to fill the time >presentation starts >autism kicks in 119 KB JPG >keep talking for 30+ minutes about the most boring s--- >been structuring my sentences as complex and retarded as possible >mfw my professor stopped me and said that i have to continue next time because the lesson is over >mfw i was not even halfway done >mfw i will probably get a bad grade for talking too much >mfw when everyone in my course now thinks i am autistic I cant f------ take this anymore : Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)19:26:44 No.63608023 shut up, u talk too much
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)19:20:55 No.63607963 >be me >have a presentation today >has to be atleast 20 minutes >scared that i will not talk enough to fill the time >presentation starts >autism kicks in 119 KB JPG >keep talking for 30+ minutes about the most boring s--- >been structuring my sentences as complex and retarded as possible >mfw my professor stopped me and said that i have to continue next time because the lesson is over >mfw i was not even halfway done >mfw i will probably get a bad grade for talking too much >mfw when everyone in my course now thinks i am autistic I cant f------ take this anymore : Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)19:26:44 No.63608023 shut up, u talk too much

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Anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/19(Wed)22:19:55 No.793770695 >be me >ask a girl out >she says no >"im not interested in you like that, lets be friends" >sure ok, see you in class 69 KB JPG tm then >immediately receive a screenshot of her rejecting me >she sent it to me by accident why are women like this? pic unrelated
: Anonymous 02/27/19(Wed)22:19:55 No.793770695 >be me >ask a girl out >she says no >"im not interested in you like that, lets be friends" >sure ok, see you in class 69 KB JPG tm then >immediately receive a screenshot of her rejecting me >she sent it to me by accident why are women like this? pic unrelated

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Anon goes to jail | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] > > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "I'll suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.
File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] > > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "I'll suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.

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Anon doesn’t like cutesy pet owners | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)15:15:18 No.63651278 WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS- 34905F22-2D8B-459B-B212-616E23F357EC.jpg 47 KB JPG >pet owners who refer to themselves as their animals 'mommy' or 'daddy'
: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)15:15:18 No.63651278 WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS- 34905F22-2D8B-459B-B212-616E23F357EC.jpg 47 KB JPG >pet owners who refer to themselves as their animals 'mommy' or 'daddy'

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Anon finds a new conspiracy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)07:49:07 No.63646070 >the year is 2043 >you are a 23-year-old us army sergeant being sent back in time on a secret government project to 9/4/2001 >you have been tasked with stopping 9/11 364 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)08:21:15 No.63646362 >>63646070 (OP) # >the year is 2043 >the us gov sends a team back to stop something they did >>63646879 #
: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)07:49:07 No.63646070 >the year is 2043 >you are a 23-year-old us army sergeant being sent back in time on a secret government project to 9/4/2001 >you have been tasked with stopping 9/11 364 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)08:21:15 No.63646362 >>63646070 (OP) # >the year is 2043 >the us gov sends a team back to stop something they did >>63646879 #

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Anon is no longer a virgin | /r/Greentext

>be me >c-- into toilet >flush >c-- gets to sewage >then to ocean >c-- in ocean >gets hot >evaporates >rain in russia >gets bottled >sold >qt3.14 drinks it >technically sucked my d--- Later, virgins 2 REPLIES
>be me >c-- into toilet >flush >c-- gets to sewage >then to ocean >c-- in ocean >gets hot >evaporates >rain in russia >gets bottled >sold >qt3.14 drinks it >technically sucked my d--- Later, virgins 2 REPLIES

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Anon is a Linux user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21 (Fri) 10:27:43 No.846046556 >year 1999 >get pirated copy of windows 98 >install it >soon as i plug in dial up >Bill f------ Gates bust through tAm H Misrorof window 59 KB JPG >'oops, looks like your Windows install is broke. Let me help you repair it' >picks up piece of broken glass and starts stabbing me >he grabs my ethernet cable >'im going to cut off your air ways at 1000 MBps!" >starts to choke me >c-- >i pass out >he throws CRT monitor on me >takes a s--- on my face >leaves And that is why i use Linux. F--- bill gates and microsoft
: Anonymous 01/29/21 (Fri) 10:27:43 No.846046556 >year 1999 >get pirated copy of windows 98 >install it >soon as i plug in dial up >Bill f------ Gates bust through tAm H Misrorof window 59 KB JPG >'oops, looks like your Windows install is broke. Let me help you repair it' >picks up piece of broken glass and starts stabbing me >he grabs my ethernet cable >'im going to cut off your air ways at 1000 MBps!" >starts to choke me >c-- >i pass out >he throws CRT monitor on me >takes a s--- on my face >leaves And that is why i use Linux. F--- bill gates and microsoft

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Anon is absolutely clueless | /r/Greentext

Anonymous EE 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3833 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous E 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.3833 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...
Anonymous EE 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3833 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous E 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.3833 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...

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