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Anon is a female cop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)11:17:23 No.852858522 >1 shot at life >Born female >Веcome a сор >Mistake my handgun for my taser >1 shot 41 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)11:19:31 No.852858644 Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)11:23:04 No.852858856 >choose job where people die if you're a retard >be a retard >>852859175 #
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)11:17:23 No.852858522 >1 shot at life >Born female >Веcome a сор >Mistake my handgun for my taser >1 shot 41 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)11:19:31 No.852858644 Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)11:23:04 No.852858856 >choose job where people die if you're a retard >be a retard >>852859175 #

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anon is not lesbian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/18(Thu)11:49:27 No.785528031 >20 minutes ago >mum asks me if i have a bf >politely tell her no >she spends 10 minutes telling me why and how I need a man 230 KB PNG >get annoyed >suddenly asks if I'm lesbian >tell her "no" >9 more minutes go by with the continued explanation of needing a man >if this were an anime l'd have steam shooting out my ears >can't take it anymore >blurt out l'm not a middle aged divorced woman who needs someone to feel complete! >she stares at me blankly >she starts to cry 24 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/22/18(Thu)11:49:27 No.785528031 >20 minutes ago >mum asks me if i have a bf >politely tell her no >she spends 10 minutes telling me why and how I need a man 230 KB PNG >get annoyed >suddenly asks if I'm lesbian >tell her "no" >9 more minutes go by with the continued explanation of needing a man >if this were an anime l'd have steam shooting out my ears >can't take it anymore >blurt out l'm not a middle aged divorced woman who needs someone to feel complete! >she stares at me blankly >she starts to cry 24 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon admires the minecraft pig man. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)11:11:48 No.9507909 Technosensei >be me 4 years ago >mildly autistic high school kid >no friends, nothing new >pretty sure everyone at school hates me >obsessed with youtube >mostly watch minecraft youtuber 153 KB JPG technoblade >want to be confident like him >start copying his mannerisms and speech patterns >try to think like he would >try to work like he would >genuinely started to gain a sense of confidence in myself and my work >started grinding and improving more than my high school classmates >pays off, get a full ride to a good college >got into a relationship >found a great friend group >teachers admire my work ethic >getting work opportunities early on thank you minecraft pig man
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)11:11:48 No.9507909 Technosensei >be me 4 years ago >mildly autistic high school kid >no friends, nothing new >pretty sure everyone at school hates me >obsessed with youtube >mostly watch minecraft youtuber 153 KB JPG technoblade >want to be confident like him >start copying his mannerisms and speech patterns >try to think like he would >try to work like he would >genuinely started to gain a sense of confidence in myself and my work >started grinding and improving more than my high school classmates >pays off, get a full ride to a good college >got into a relationship >found a great friend group >teachers admire my work ethic >getting work opportunities early on thank you minecraft pig man

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Anons tried to crack a conspiracy | /r/Greentext

18:59 ul 55% PRIMALFEAR /x/28304880 Anonymous Há 4 horas 28304880 PRIMALFEAR >OP claims files were hidden in dino image raid >password protected .exe GET DINO'D LMAO inside >everyone guessing passwords >smart anons use hex editors to crack the password >"PRIMALFEAR" >the program spews out a bunch of gibberish >everyone confused >anon recognizes the gibberish is base64 >realize the code can be used to form an image >people are getting scared of what it might be >one brave anon decides to go for it >deciphers the code >the image appears >pic related Someone really went through all of this just to hide a picture of a dinosaur inside of another picture of a dinosaur. 7 REPLIES
18:59 ul 55% PRIMALFEAR /x/28304880 Anonymous Há 4 horas 28304880 PRIMALFEAR >OP claims files were hidden in dino image raid >password protected .exe GET DINO'D LMAO inside >everyone guessing passwords >smart anons use hex editors to crack the password >"PRIMALFEAR" >the program spews out a bunch of gibberish >everyone confused >anon recognizes the gibberish is base64 >realize the code can be used to form an image >people are getting scared of what it might be >one brave anon decides to go for it >deciphers the code >the image appears >pic related Someone really went through all of this just to hide a picture of a dinosaur inside of another picture of a dinosaur. 7 REPLIES

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Anon isn’t a pedo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)08:27:57 No.852840521 >be me >23 years old >Neighbors daughter keeps literally flirting with me, asking for a kiss and hugs and s--- >Wouldn't mind if she wasn't 13 21 KB PNG >She often comes by uninvited asking me about random s--- >An hour ago she asked me to come over and help fix her PlayStation, and she is home alone These are my options; 1: tell parents 2: Ignore her 3: Help her quickly and get out ASAP Which one should I pick and why?
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)08:27:57 No.852840521 >be me >23 years old >Neighbors daughter keeps literally flirting with me, asking for a kiss and hugs and s--- >Wouldn't mind if she wasn't 13 21 KB PNG >She often comes by uninvited asking me about random s--- >An hour ago she asked me to come over and help fix her PlayStation, and she is home alone These are my options; 1: tell parents 2: Ignore her 3: Help her quickly and get out ASAP Which one should I pick and why?

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Anon is a evil genius | /r/Greentext

15965029 1823782704528885 2088726311223753541 n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if T don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related
15965029 1823782704528885 2088726311223753541 n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if T don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related

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Anon doesn’t like youtube | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)20:41:00 No.852808088 >be me about a year ago >see a yt video from one of the channels I've subscribed to >it's just a black screen with "black lives matter" for like 10 minutes >not even music or anything, just pure virtue signaling 341 KB JPG >look at comments >top comment is the most retarded s--- >something like, "I was sitting here watching the video, when 5 minutes in, my brother came in and asked if I was just staring at a picture like a f------ idiot. I proudly said no, this is a video. Watched all 10 minutes and gave it a like." >realized the youtube comment section is more f----- than I ever thought imaginable >also unsubscribed from the channel because f--- that s---
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)20:41:00 No.852808088 >be me about a year ago >see a yt video from one of the channels I've subscribed to >it's just a black screen with "black lives matter" for like 10 minutes >not even music or anything, just pure virtue signaling 341 KB JPG >look at comments >top comment is the most retarded s--- >something like, "I was sitting here watching the video, when 5 minutes in, my brother came in and asked if I was just staring at a picture like a f------ idiot. I proudly said no, this is a video. Watched all 10 minutes and gave it a like." >realized the youtube comment section is more f----- than I ever thought imaginable >also unsubscribed from the channel because f--- that s---

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Anon invites Shitlibs | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 05/16/20(Sat)20:27:22 No.45072332 >>45072613 >>45077043 >Halloween 2019 >invite friends over >several friends, are coming >i'm a nice guy so i allow it >realize all of them are shitlibs >we're talking Starbucks Marxist Young Turks fans >three days before halloween buddy calls >we regularly make Nazi jokes and speak broken, angry German at eachother >l jokingly tell him to dress for the party as an SS officer >dude's 6'3", semi-built, blonde, blue eyes >he says he'll think about it >fas forward to Halloween >he's late >call him >"Hey bro, where you at?" >"Parden mein tardiness mein furher" >"Bro. You did it?" >"Da." >I see headlights outside >he drove his wife's Volkswagon. >little red slug-bug pulls up >Shitlibs have no idea >I realize what might happen >buddy steps out of his car >lights a f------ c-- attached to one of those weird sticks >i open the door so nobody hears him >steps in my living room in front of -15 people >"VER IZ ZE JUDEN?" >he sees our buddy Zach >Zach is cool. He gets up and runs >SSbro catches him >wrestles him out the front door >drags him to his slug bug >girl with blue hair is on her phone >all my friends who get the joke are having THE BEST time >i'm praying she didn't call the police She called the police. >SSbro peels out >was actually taking Zach on a beer run >too embarassed to actually go into a store by himself >they get pulled over on the highway >apparently SSbro rolled down the window >told the officer "Oh thank god, will you get this guy to the chamber for me?" >cop did not laugh.
I Anonymous 05/16/20(Sat)20:27:22 No.45072332 >>45072613 >>45077043 >Halloween 2019 >invite friends over >several friends, are coming >i'm a nice guy so i allow it >realize all of them are shitlibs >we're talking Starbucks Marxist Young Turks fans >three days before halloween buddy calls >we regularly make Nazi jokes and speak broken, angry German at eachother >l jokingly tell him to dress for the party as an SS officer >dude's 6'3", semi-built, blonde, blue eyes >he says he'll think about it >fas forward to Halloween >he's late >call him >"Hey bro, where you at?" >"Parden mein tardiness mein furher" >"Bro. You did it?" >"Da." >I see headlights outside >he drove his wife's Volkswagon. >little red slug-bug pulls up >Shitlibs have no idea >I realize what might happen >buddy steps out of his car >lights a f------ c-- attached to one of those weird sticks >i open the door so nobody hears him >steps in my living room in front of -15 people >"VER IZ ZE JUDEN?" >he sees our buddy Zach >Zach is cool. He gets up and runs >SSbro catches him >wrestles him out the front door >drags him to his slug bug >girl with blue hair is on her phone >all my friends who get the joke are having THE BEST time >i'm praying she didn't call the police She called the police. >SSbro peels out >was actually taking Zach on a beer run >too embarassed to actually go into a store by himself >they get pulled over on the highway >apparently SSbro rolled down the window >told the officer "Oh thank god, will you get this guy to the chamber for me?" >cop did not laugh.

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)04:42:06 No.63361056 >want to watch an age restricted YouTube video >Google wants me to send them a picture of my ID to prove that I'm 18 >cant watch the f------ video the internet is f------ ruined 6 KB JPG 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)06:01:20 No.63361680 thats your fault for living in Europe 41 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)04:42:06 No.63361056 >want to watch an age restricted YouTube video >Google wants me to send them a picture of my ID to prove that I'm 18 >cant watch the f------ video the internet is f------ ruined 6 KB JPG 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)06:01:20 No.63361680 thats your fault for living in Europe 41 KB JPG

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Anon is a bitch-ass pussy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)12:32:11 No.63357247 >try to screenshot something on my phone >this requires you to press home button and off button at the same time >accidentally exit the app and turn off phone 263 KB JPG I am ending my life tomorrow
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)12:32:11 No.63357247 >try to screenshot something on my phone >this requires you to press home button and off button at the same time >accidentally exit the app and turn off phone 263 KB JPG I am ending my life tomorrow

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Anons parents don't believe the coof | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 >parents wont let me take the vaccine dafuq? >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 >parents wont let me take the vaccine dafuq? >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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That was intense | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/17(Mon)14:45:09 No.35829949 >playing WoW >inspect another player >their current target changes to me >knows I'm inspecting his gear >mfw 76 KB JPG >log off and delete character That was close
: Anonymous 03/27/17(Mon)14:45:09 No.35829949 >playing WoW >inspect another player >their current target changes to me >knows I'm inspecting his gear >mfw 76 KB JPG >log off and delete character That was close

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Anon makes a new best friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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Anon likes to vape | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:51:46 No.852796694 >go to work >coworker offers me a vape >smoke it in the bathroom >buzzed as s--- >take biggest s--- of my life >life is good 6 KB PNG >thanks coworker : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:01 No.852796859 Nice : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:39 No.852796899 >>852796694 (OP) # You just inhaled covid, my dude. R.I.P.
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:51:46 No.852796694 >go to work >coworker offers me a vape >smoke it in the bathroom >buzzed as s--- >take biggest s--- of my life >life is good 6 KB PNG >thanks coworker : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:01 No.852796859 Nice : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:39 No.852796899 >>852796694 (OP) # You just inhaled covid, my dude. R.I.P.

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Anon is French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU
: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU

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Anon strikes again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)07:23:02 No.48496147 >be dinner time >barbecuing chicken >touch the chicken breast See ya later virgins 151 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)07:23:02 No.48496147 >be dinner time >barbecuing chicken >touch the chicken breast See ya later virgins 151 KB JPG

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Anon has watery eyes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Leaky eye 04/24/21(Sat)12:02:56 No.63361214 >be me >20yo >my eyes water like hell all the time >watch JoJo >Leaky Eye Luka also has watery eyes >mfw I'm a JoJo referance 26 KB JPG
: Anonymous Leaky eye 04/24/21(Sat)12:02:56 No.63361214 >be me >20yo >my eyes water like hell all the time >watch JoJo >Leaky Eye Luka also has watery eyes >mfw I'm a JoJo referance 26 KB JPG

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

O Your best revenge stories, Anon? I'll start Anonymous > be me, in highschool > get bullied by chad all high school > fantasize at night about hurting him back > too much of a wimp to do anything > finally graduate, but still want my revenge > start elaborate revenge plot > parents died, left me nothing but a house > sell the house, gonna need the money for my plan > grow my hair > start taking oestrogen > go to the gym > not enough boobs from the pill, need surgery > finally reaching the hardest part of my plan > byebyedick.png >I have vagina now, Im ready > "accidentally" meet with Chad > make him fall for me > have to take his d--- up my vagina hole, mouth, even ass sometimes > hate it but need to go through with it > not using condoms since I cant have kids, he's fine with it > finally he proposes > go to honeymoon > buy a house for us > I learn to cook for the final part of the plan > finally the day come > time for sweet revenge >I prepare a fancy meal for our 3rd anniversary (Kobe beef steak, expensive af) > intentionally "forget" to use salt > f----- start eating, he suspect nothing > ask him to pass the salt >I pass him the salt > it was actually sugar F----- ruined his steak. Never saw it coming.
O Your best revenge stories, Anon? I'll start Anonymous > be me, in highschool > get bullied by chad all high school > fantasize at night about hurting him back > too much of a wimp to do anything > finally graduate, but still want my revenge > start elaborate revenge plot > parents died, left me nothing but a house > sell the house, gonna need the money for my plan > grow my hair > start taking oestrogen > go to the gym > not enough boobs from the pill, need surgery > finally reaching the hardest part of my plan > byebyedick.png >I have vagina now, Im ready > "accidentally" meet with Chad > make him fall for me > have to take his d--- up my vagina hole, mouth, even ass sometimes > hate it but need to go through with it > not using condoms since I cant have kids, he's fine with it > finally he proposes > go to honeymoon > buy a house for us > I learn to cook for the final part of the plan > finally the day come > time for sweet revenge >I prepare a fancy meal for our 3rd anniversary (Kobe beef steak, expensive af) > intentionally "forget" to use salt > f----- start eating, he suspect nothing > ask him to pass the salt >I pass him the salt > it was actually sugar F----- ruined his steak. Never saw it coming.

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Anon doesn’t like america | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:10:48 No.852793960 >be me >be French >decide to go online and watch American news >curious about what has been happening lately 78 KB JPG >add the word "france" to see what International news say about my country >go on conservative news site >site says France is just globohomo and n----- loving commie land >go on leftist news site >site says France is a fascist country that is mean to Muslims and n------ in Africa >realize that Americans project a lot on France
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:10:48 No.852793960 >be me >be French >decide to go online and watch American news >curious about what has been happening lately 78 KB JPG >add the word "france" to see what International news say about my country >go on conservative news site >site says France is just globohomo and n----- loving commie land >go on leftist news site >site says France is a fascist country that is mean to Muslims and n------ in Africa >realize that Americans project a lot on France

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Anon did it, racism is no more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: bk2nW/IH ) O I have been told on this board(...) 04/24/21(Sat)13:12:01 No.318423477 >Jews are white >Turks are white >Spics are white >Arabs are white >Persians are white >Afghans are white >East Asians are white 21 KB JPG >Indians are white >Somalis are white : Anonymous (ID: Q 8KHRMQ ) – 04/24/21(Sat)13:14:34 No.318423669 >>318423477(OP)_# There are only 2 races Indians and non-indians >>318424386 # >>318424490 #
: Anonymous (ID: bk2nW/IH ) O I have been told on this board(...) 04/24/21(Sat)13:12:01 No.318423477 >Jews are white >Turks are white >Spics are white >Arabs are white >Persians are white >Afghans are white >East Asians are white 21 KB JPG >Indians are white >Somalis are white : Anonymous (ID: Q 8KHRMQ ) – 04/24/21(Sat)13:14:34 No.318423669 >>318423477(OP)_# There are only 2 races Indians and non-indians >>318424386 # >>318424490 #

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