Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon goes to an American school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)23:05:44 No.851398857 >be me >travel abroad basically all my life due to dad's political work >live in various european/asian countries like sweden, denmark, turkey, afghanistan, etc >have a normal upbringing 76 KB JPG >plenty of friends, great classmates, etc >eventually move to the US >literally the first day of school, one of my american classmates throws a f------ stapler at me do you idiots not see the f------ problem here!?
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)23:05:44 No.851398857 >be me >travel abroad basically all my life due to dad's political work >live in various european/asian countries like sweden, denmark, turkey, afghanistan, etc >have a normal upbringing 76 KB JPG >plenty of friends, great classmates, etc >eventually move to the US >literally the first day of school, one of my american classmates throws a f------ stapler at me do you idiots not see the f------ problem here!?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant font

Anon tries to shit in peace | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:58:26 No.851366393 >be me >taking a s--- >window to bathroom is open and my bathroom is located in the backside of my house so you can see garden through window of bathroom 6 KB JPG > my neighbour is in his garden >hear me fart as the result of me trying to force it out >he makes a fart sound >tfw l'm sealing my bathroom windows forever
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:58:26 No.851366393 >be me >taking a s--- >window to bathroom is open and my bathroom is located in the backside of my house so you can see garden through window of bathroom 6 KB JPG > my neighbour is in his garden >hear me fart as the result of me trying to force it out >he makes a fart sound >tfw l'm sealing my bathroom windows forever

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw happy font

Anon orders DoorDash | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:53:58 No.851359630 >Be me >order food from DoorDash >says it will take 20 minutes >hard af >it's been 2 hours w-- >look outside to see trail of blood and a 597 KB JPG collapsed body >look down street and see horrific car crash >driver crashed and in his final moments brought me my food >rate him 1 star for being late and leaving his trash body in my driveway
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:53:58 No.851359630 >Be me >order food from DoorDash >says it will take 20 minutes >hard af >it's been 2 hours w-- >look outside to see trail of blood and a 597 KB JPG collapsed body >look down street and see horrific car crash >driver crashed and in his final moments brought me my food >rate him 1 star for being late and leaving his trash body in my driveway

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext beard font

Anon gets pranked | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 10/26/17(Thu)09:05:16 No.40672881 Totally OP, I did the same. >Asked mom that I wanted to f--- a girl >She said, you can f--- me, but only in the ass. >Start f------ mom. >Decide to rub her clit >Find a d--- >Turns out it was a prank by my dad. I won't fall for the same trick 3 times
:Anonymous 10/26/17(Thu)09:05:16 No.40672881 Totally OP, I did the same. >Asked mom that I wanted to f--- a girl >She said, you can f--- me, but only in the ass. >Start f------ mom. >Decide to rub her clit >Find a d--- >Turns out it was a prank by my dad. I won't fall for the same trick 3 times

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle font

Anon does a prank call | /r/Greentext

File: 1372962827556.gif-(426 KB, 500x282, whathaveidone.gif) Anonymous (ID: CmZth2jV) 07/04/13(Thu)14:33:47 No.491101037 This happened a few years ago, I just wanted to share >be me >have random idea to prank call someone for the first time in my life >decide to be original and craft my own call >thirty minutes go by >eureka >pick someone random in phone book >call CN >girl picks up, maybe thirteen >Girl: "Hello?" >Me: "Is this the Suicide Hotline?" >G: "Uh, no this is the Smith household." >M: "F--- I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" >hold phone up to computer, play gunshot sound effect >drop phone, leave it off the hook >G: OH MY GOD, DADI DAD SOMEONE JUST SHOT THEMSELVES! >she starts crying, runs away >hear dad asking her to calm down and explain >l assume she does, all I can hear is sobbing >dad starts freaking out >dad tries to calm her down >says something along the lines of "We'll be okay, at least it wasn't someone we know." >she gets angry, screams something like "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?", walks of. >dad sits down by phone, starts weeping >i hang up the phone. >ffw I have permanently scarred a family >tfw I have strained and may have broken the loving relationship between father and daughter >tfw the daughter is probably in therapy right now And that was the last time I ever prank called someone.
File: 1372962827556.gif-(426 KB, 500x282, whathaveidone.gif) Anonymous (ID: CmZth2jV) 07/04/13(Thu)14:33:47 No.491101037 This happened a few years ago, I just wanted to share >be me >have random idea to prank call someone for the first time in my life >decide to be original and craft my own call >thirty minutes go by >eureka >pick someone random in phone book >call CN >girl picks up, maybe thirteen >Girl: "Hello?" >Me: "Is this the Suicide Hotline?" >G: "Uh, no this is the Smith household." >M: "F--- I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" >hold phone up to computer, play gunshot sound effect >drop phone, leave it off the hook >G: OH MY GOD, DADI DAD SOMEONE JUST SHOT THEMSELVES! >she starts crying, runs away >hear dad asking her to calm down and explain >l assume she does, all I can hear is sobbing >dad starts freaking out >dad tries to calm her down >says something along the lines of "We'll be okay, at least it wasn't someone we know." >she gets angry, screams something like "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?", walks of. >dad sits down by phone, starts weeping >i hang up the phone. >ffw I have permanently scarred a family >tfw I have strained and may have broken the loving relationship between father and daughter >tfw the daughter is probably in therapy right now And that was the last time I ever prank called someone.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy

Sad story of anon | /r/Greentext

>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon leaves reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anon 04/05/21(Mon)01:44:39 No.63064008 >Be me >About to close reddit See ya later virgins Pic unrelated 40 KB JPG
: Anon 04/05/21(Mon)01:44:39 No.63064008 >Be me >About to close reddit See ya later virgins Pic unrelated 40 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture font

Anon’s friend is a dumbass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)00:09:13 No.851319720 >Be my friend >A year ago >Go into bathroom >See urinal that is overflowing >Be dumbass >Think "i should contribute to the 411 KB JPG piss urinal" >Piss starts leaking everywhere >He runs away before anyone comes in and discovers it >Entire bathroom floods with piss and urinal water >No one knows it was him
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)00:09:13 No.851319720 >Be my friend >A year ago >Go into bathroom >See urinal that is overflowing >Be dumbass >Think "i should contribute to the 411 KB JPG piss urinal" >Piss starts leaking everywhere >He runs away before anyone comes in and discovers it >Entire bathroom floods with piss and urinal water >No one knows it was him

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy

Anon can't get a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:29:11 No.851354694 >Be me >Play football >Drive 1969 Dodge Charger >Abstain from m----------- >Have a job with decent pay >Can play Free Bird solo on guitar 89 KB JPG >Not short or fat >Don't watch anime >Not ugly >Still no gf Other day >See this guy >Easily 250lbs, no muscle >Disgusting orange beard >Anime t shirt >He's making out with a 6/10 girl What the hell : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:30:37 No.851354792 >>851354694 (OP) # Ever think that 6/10 had autism? : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:32:16 No.851354893 >>851354694 (OP) # Perhaps the fact that you're complaining about women on 4chan has something to do with the fact you can't get your baby carrot wet
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:29:11 No.851354694 >Be me >Play football >Drive 1969 Dodge Charger >Abstain from m----------- >Have a job with decent pay >Can play Free Bird solo on guitar 89 KB JPG >Not short or fat >Don't watch anime >Not ugly >Still no gf Other day >See this guy >Easily 250lbs, no muscle >Disgusting orange beard >Anime t shirt >He's making out with a 6/10 girl What the hell : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:30:37 No.851354792 >>851354694 (OP) # Ever think that 6/10 had autism? : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:32:16 No.851354893 >>851354694 (OP) # Perhaps the fact that you're complaining about women on 4chan has something to do with the fact you can't get your baby carrot wet

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

Anon knows about balls | /r/Greentext

06/30/14(Mon)05:16:13 No.553960047 >At doctors >Getting my nuggets felt up because I had a pain >Female doctor >Turns out fine, just epidydimitis >For some reason whenever I go to the docs I always feel I have to look smart >Throwing off medical jargon and referencing obscure bits of anatomy >S--- I must look hella booklearned >She says "Oh I suppose you were worried and did some of your own research" >Realize that if I admit to that I'm simultaneously admitting to being a little bitch and that all my knowledge was ad- hoc and wikipedia acquired >Say "No, I just know a lot about balls" >Cant remember what happened after that because my soul evacuated my body |
06/30/14(Mon)05:16:13 No.553960047 >At doctors >Getting my nuggets felt up because I had a pain >Female doctor >Turns out fine, just epidydimitis >For some reason whenever I go to the docs I always feel I have to look smart >Throwing off medical jargon and referencing obscure bits of anatomy >S--- I must look hella booklearned >She says "Oh I suppose you were worried and did some of your own research" >Realize that if I admit to that I'm simultaneously admitting to being a little bitch and that all my knowledge was ad- hoc and wikipedia acquired >Say "No, I just know a lot about balls" >Cant remember what happened after that because my soul evacuated my body |

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

Grug is smart caveman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)17:55:17 No.63067891 >Be me >Find berry >Tell unga to eat berry >Unga eat berry >Unga fall suddenly >Unga sleep for 3 moons >Unga still sleep 180 KB JPG >Not sure if berry safe
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)17:55:17 No.63067891 >Be me >Find berry >Tell unga to eat berry >Unga eat berry >Unga fall suddenly >Unga sleep for 3 moons >Unga still sleep 180 KB JPG >Not sure if berry safe

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw font happy terrestrial plant

Anon likes small animals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)20:17:41 No.844861756 >be me >extremely constipated >tried everything >in huge amount of pain and desperate for relief >have 'great idea' >go to petco and get a gerbil 5 KB JPG >brief him on his mission >operation declog is a go >send the little fella into the cavernous deeps >godspeednibbles.bmp >a couple hours go by and i dont feel him >getting worried >mfw currently at petco to get a rescue gerbil Hold on nibbles help is on the way
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)20:17:41 No.844861756 >be me >extremely constipated >tried everything >in huge amount of pain and desperate for relief >have 'great idea' >go to petco and get a gerbil 5 KB JPG >brief him on his mission >operation declog is a go >send the little fella into the cavernous deeps >godspeednibbles.bmp >a couple hours go by and i dont feel him >getting worried >mfw currently at petco to get a rescue gerbil Hold on nibbles help is on the way

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is crushing it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)00:53:32 No.851352356 >>Be Me >>Virgin >>No woman has ever claimed or stated that I am bad at the sex >>therefore, by the logic of sexual skill, I am a Chad 32 KB JPG Oh you've had sex with a woman? Lol you f------ beta
: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)00:53:32 No.851352356 >>Be Me >>Virgin >>No woman has ever claimed or stated that I am bad at the sex >>therefore, by the logic of sexual skill, I am a Chad 32 KB JPG Oh you've had sex with a woman? Lol you f------ beta

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant font

Storytime tardbros | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/17(Mon)12:03:10 No.743447804 >be me >sophomore year of high school >getting bullied by a kid named Jeremiah >Jeremiah is a 6'5" gigajew jock >wears the hat, has the fro and everything >i help out with the local tards for service hours 75 KB JPG during 5th and 6th periods >one tard, darius, and i share symbiotic relationship >he lets me play a s----- WWE video game with them, i give him fries from McDonald's >we are tardbros >one day i have to take darius to the nurse for his meds >see Jeremiah in the hall >he stops us >"i see you found some friends like you" >darius starts to get fidgety >"f--- off" i say politely >Darius becomes perfectly still >Gigajew rears back for a punch >suddenly i hear a sound like a bull getting sucked off by a shop vac in front of a broken fan >lts darius >w-- >the jew is confused to >watch as darius rips off his shirt and jump for Jeremiah's legs >knocks jewfag over for 4hp >suddenly all of darius's WWE skills surface >grabs Jeremiah and hits him with a piledriver for 30hp >allofmywhat.png >darius reaches down and picks him up >darius is only about 5'7" and maybe 160 lbs >bodyslam for 40hp >how the f--- is this real >jeremiah is down to 26hp >darius picks him up again >falls backwards and bodyslams himself >i get worried and run over >but darius had enacted his master plan >hall monitors and assistant principals show up >they don't suspect that darius is the undertaker's downsy cousin >suspends Jeremiah. >next day >bring darius 2 large fries from mcdonald's >he just smiles and nods >tardbros for life
: Anonymous 08/28/17(Mon)12:03:10 No.743447804 >be me >sophomore year of high school >getting bullied by a kid named Jeremiah >Jeremiah is a 6'5" gigajew jock >wears the hat, has the fro and everything >i help out with the local tards for service hours 75 KB JPG during 5th and 6th periods >one tard, darius, and i share symbiotic relationship >he lets me play a s----- WWE video game with them, i give him fries from McDonald's >we are tardbros >one day i have to take darius to the nurse for his meds >see Jeremiah in the hall >he stops us >"i see you found some friends like you" >darius starts to get fidgety >"f--- off" i say politely >Darius becomes perfectly still >Gigajew rears back for a punch >suddenly i hear a sound like a bull getting sucked off by a shop vac in front of a broken fan >lts darius >w-- >the jew is confused to >watch as darius rips off his shirt and jump for Jeremiah's legs >knocks jewfag over for 4hp >suddenly all of darius's WWE skills surface >grabs Jeremiah and hits him with a piledriver for 30hp >allofmywhat.png >darius reaches down and picks him up >darius is only about 5'7" and maybe 160 lbs >bodyslam for 40hp >how the f--- is this real >jeremiah is down to 26hp >darius picks him up again >falls backwards and bodyslams himself >i get worried and run over >but darius had enacted his master plan >hall monitors and assistant principals show up >they don't suspect that darius is the undertaker's downsy cousin >suspends Jeremiah. >next day >bring darius 2 large fries from mcdonald's >he just smiles and nods >tardbros for life

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

Scooby dooby cum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket 34 KB JPG >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas
: Anonymous 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket 34 KB JPG >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon gets swatted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)15:48:17 No.63064613 >tried cuddling with escort after making her c-- >she swatted me away 39 KB JPG 18 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : azn boi 04/05/21(Mon)19:13:52 No.63066362 >>63064613 (OP) # based escort. get rekt op
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)15:48:17 No.63064613 >tried cuddling with escort after making her c-- >she swatted me away 39 KB JPG 18 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : azn boi 04/05/21(Mon)19:13:52 No.63066362 >>63064613 (OP) # based escort. get rekt op

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon cures their depression | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)21:03:14 No.851319325 >be sad as f--- >see picture of boob on internet >day saved, no more existential dread, only boob on mind 27 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)21:03:14 No.851319325 >be sad as f--- >see picture of boob on internet >day saved, no more existential dread, only boob on mind 27 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext vertebrate mammal organism gesture font

Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21 (Mon)07:41:14 No.63062465 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/05/21 (Mon)07:41:14 No.63062465 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon gets red pilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The matrix 2 incident 04/05/21 (Mon)18:42:00 No.63066102 >be me in 2003 a huge 16 year old Matrix fan >live with my dad and my mom, but mostly only with my dad cause he works from home and my mom doesn't >childishly hate my dad for years because he isn't my mom 194 KB PNG >always ignore him >he always comes into my matrix themed bedroom to ask us to do stuff together, but i brush him off every time >May 2003, my dad enters my room >"Anon, i know you're a huge Matrix fan, even if you don't want to do stuff together i want you to have fun" >he gives me a ticket to watch Matrix 2 >he also gives me 30 dollars to go eat something afterwards >"Thanks dad!" >go to the theater to watch Matrix 2 >i'm having the time of my life during the highway sequence when i realize i've been a d--- to my dad >i treated him like a jerk for years only because i liked my mom more, but he's actually a good guy who cares about me >realize i need to make up for it and leave the theater before Matrix 2 is over >arrive home to apologize, he's f------ this woman i don't even know >"Anon, i thought you were watching Matrix 2" >turns out my dad actually was a d---
: Anonymous The matrix 2 incident 04/05/21 (Mon)18:42:00 No.63066102 >be me in 2003 a huge 16 year old Matrix fan >live with my dad and my mom, but mostly only with my dad cause he works from home and my mom doesn't >childishly hate my dad for years because he isn't my mom 194 KB PNG >always ignore him >he always comes into my matrix themed bedroom to ask us to do stuff together, but i brush him off every time >May 2003, my dad enters my room >"Anon, i know you're a huge Matrix fan, even if you don't want to do stuff together i want you to have fun" >he gives me a ticket to watch Matrix 2 >he also gives me 30 dollars to go eat something afterwards >"Thanks dad!" >go to the theater to watch Matrix 2 >i'm having the time of my life during the highway sequence when i realize i've been a d--- to my dad >i treated him like a jerk for years only because i liked my mom more, but he's actually a good guy who cares about me >realize i need to make up for it and leave the theater before Matrix 2 is over >arrive home to apologize, he's f------ this woman i don't even know >"Anon, i thought you were watching Matrix 2" >turns out my dad actually was a d---

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

Anon is armed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)10:21:30 No.63061954 >parents find out I own a semi automatic rifle >want to kick me out unless I sell it 59 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/05/21 (Mon)10:25:06 No.63062001 >mom finds some of my ammo in my closet >cries and asks if I'm going to kill her to kill her dogs too 206 KB JPG Like that stupid bitch is worth a murder charge. >>63062020 # >>63062048 # >>63062085 #
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)10:21:30 No.63061954 >parents find out I own a semi automatic rifle >want to kick me out unless I sell it 59 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/05/21 (Mon)10:25:06 No.63062001 >mom finds some of my ammo in my closet >cries and asks if I'm going to kill her to kill her dogs too 206 KB JPG Like that stupid bitch is worth a murder charge. >>63062020 # >>63062048 # >>63062085 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism