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Anon knows how to treat a lady | /r/Greentext

File: images.jpg (7 KB, 264x191) Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)13:30:41 No.851364854 [Reply] >be me >fight with my GF >she storms out of room >dont go out >notplayingthatgame.exe >hear her putting on jacket and clothes >stay in room >decide to go talk to her after calming down >shes not in the house >go look in the back >turn on porch light >see nothing >close lock back door >freak out go to front > car still there >throw on shoes think she is trying to walk to her parents 20 min away at 1am >worried >walk halfway to her parents >dont see her >dead of winter no jacket no phone >decide to run home grab jacket and phone >get back home >keep big jacket in the back yard on an outside hook >go to grab it >its not there >see her sitting at outside table wearing my jacket >w-- >i locked her out >shes freezing >feel really stupid and guilty for locking her out >so cold she forgets she was mad >apologises to me >mfw remember when your girl gets mad just let them cool off
File: images.jpg (7 KB, 264x191) Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)13:30:41 No.851364854 [Reply] >be me >fight with my GF >she storms out of room >dont go out >notplayingthatgame.exe >hear her putting on jacket and clothes >stay in room >decide to go talk to her after calming down >shes not in the house >go look in the back >turn on porch light >see nothing >close lock back door >freak out go to front > car still there >throw on shoes think she is trying to walk to her parents 20 min away at 1am >worried >walk halfway to her parents >dont see her >dead of winter no jacket no phone >decide to run home grab jacket and phone >get back home >keep big jacket in the back yard on an outside hook >go to grab it >its not there >see her sitting at outside table wearing my jacket >w-- >i locked her out >shes freezing >feel really stupid and guilty for locking her out >so cold she forgets she was mad >apologises to me >mfw remember when your girl gets mad just let them cool off

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Anon gets accused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: /Zepjl6G ) E 04/06/21(Tue)14:42:03 No.315433135 >be free market centrist >be accused of being a rightoid nazi when arguing with Reddit >be accused of being a leftoid t----- when arguing here 400 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: /Zepjl6G ) E 04/06/21(Tue)14:42:03 No.315433135 >be free market centrist >be accused of being a rightoid nazi when arguing with Reddit >be accused of being a leftoid t----- when arguing here 400 KB PNG

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Anon forgot he had a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)16:25:41 No.63080632 >finally got a gf last month >already accidentally cheated on her >she's really mad about it fml 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)16:30:19 No.63080666 >>63080632 (OP) # Accidentally? The f--- you go about doing that? Do you have Alzheimer's? did you bump into her? >>63080725 # : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)16:31:40 No.63080673 >>63080632 (OP) # >accidentally Bro what the f---, are you retarded or smth ? 35 KB JPG >>63080725 # : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)16:35:57 No.63080725 >>63080666 # >>63080673 # look I'm not used to having a gf and another girl showed interest and I was horny so I just sort of forgot I already had one
: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)16:25:41 No.63080632 >finally got a gf last month >already accidentally cheated on her >she's really mad about it fml 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)16:30:19 No.63080666 >>63080632 (OP) # Accidentally? The f--- you go about doing that? Do you have Alzheimer's? did you bump into her? >>63080725 # : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)16:31:40 No.63080673 >>63080632 (OP) # >accidentally Bro what the f---, are you retarded or smth ? 35 KB JPG >>63080725 # : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)16:35:57 No.63080725 >>63080666 # >>63080673 # look I'm not used to having a gf and another girl showed interest and I was horny so I just sort of forgot I already had one

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anon is a fucking pervert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)13:25:03 No.851361401 >be me >like hentai That's it, I like hentai 126 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)13:25:03 No.851361401 >be me >like hentai That's it, I like hentai 126 KB JPG

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Anon feels uneasy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)17:56:24 No.63001106 >Feel like I should be doing something >Don't know what >Vague sense of uneasiness that I'm not doing it 59 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)17:56:24 No.63001106 >Feel like I should be doing something >Don't know what >Vague sense of uneasiness that I'm not doing it 59 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon rides a train | /r/Greentext

>On the train today >Tired as f---, trying to get a power nap in before my stop >Two fatass girls walk on and sit right behind me >Loud, obnoxious normies >Talking about making fake facebook accounts and s--- to see if this chad is cheating on one of them >All while practically screaming to the entire train and into my ear and aiming to be as annoying as possible >Still trying to get to sleep at this point but just f------ give up >One of them says the perfect line >"I need to fart" >The autist in me prepares >l hear it, the entire train hears it. Her friend is simultaneously disgusted and laughing like a f------ retard >l take a deep sniff, as much as my lungs can bear >lts the most horrific smell I have ever had the displeasure of encountering, but I know the payoff is worth it >Turn around, stare directly at both of them >"Got any more?" >Her friend stops laughing >"What the f---?" >Ask her again, giving a creepy ass grin >Train stops >Both of the landwhales squeeze themselves out of the door Commuting is f------ wild, Anons.
>On the train today >Tired as f---, trying to get a power nap in before my stop >Two fatass girls walk on and sit right behind me >Loud, obnoxious normies >Talking about making fake facebook accounts and s--- to see if this chad is cheating on one of them >All while practically screaming to the entire train and into my ear and aiming to be as annoying as possible >Still trying to get to sleep at this point but just f------ give up >One of them says the perfect line >"I need to fart" >The autist in me prepares >l hear it, the entire train hears it. Her friend is simultaneously disgusted and laughing like a f------ retard >l take a deep sniff, as much as my lungs can bear >lts the most horrific smell I have ever had the displeasure of encountering, but I know the payoff is worth it >Turn around, stare directly at both of them >"Got any more?" >Her friend stops laughing >"What the f---?" >Ask her again, giving a creepy ass grin >Train stops >Both of the landwhales squeeze themselves out of the door Commuting is f------ wild, Anons.

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Anon made funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: AQSOVUCR) O 09/27/17(Wed)22:00:32 No.143164421 >stop at Subway to get a sandwich on my way home from work >sandwich maker asked if I was getting off or going 120 KB JPG in >l forgot to take my work vest off >Tell her l'm getting off >She says "That's good. Getting off is always good." >l replied with, "yeah, until you get asked to leave the playground" I can never go back there >>143164510 # >>143164623 # >>143164642 # >>143164735 # >>143164809 # >>143164997 #
: Anonymous (ID: AQSOVUCR) O 09/27/17(Wed)22:00:32 No.143164421 >stop at Subway to get a sandwich on my way home from work >sandwich maker asked if I was getting off or going 120 KB JPG in >l forgot to take my work vest off >Tell her l'm getting off >She says "That's good. Getting off is always good." >l replied with, "yeah, until you get asked to leave the playground" I can never go back there >>143164510 # >>143164623 # >>143164642 # >>143164735 # >>143164809 # >>143164997 #

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #
: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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Anon is a lost cause | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)22:41:19 No.851377085 >be me, yesterday >high as f--- on le speed >also horny as f---, decide to j------- >beat my meat for 14 f------ hours straight watching foot fetish hentai 17 KB JPG Am I a lost cause?
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)22:41:19 No.851377085 >be me, yesterday >high as f--- on le speed >also horny as f---, decide to j------- >beat my meat for 14 f------ hours straight watching foot fetish hentai 17 KB JPG Am I a lost cause?

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Anon encounters ....? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)18:58:41 No.63066216 >follow twitter pages related to weight loss and fitness >tweet pops up on timeline called "thinspo" >its a cult of children teaching eachother how to gag themselves after they eat, starve themselves, kick up other s--- habits >some 15 year old runs this ring, hurling abuse at people for not following his "meanspiration", aka calling them fat c---- until they spew up in their 7 KB JPG toilet what the f--- have i stumbled on here. do children really?
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)18:58:41 No.63066216 >follow twitter pages related to weight loss and fitness >tweet pops up on timeline called "thinspo" >its a cult of children teaching eachother how to gag themselves after they eat, starve themselves, kick up other s--- habits >some 15 year old runs this ring, hurling abuse at people for not following his "meanspiration", aka calling them fat c---- until they spew up in their 7 KB JPG toilet what the f--- have i stumbled on here. do children really?

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Anon trolls le 4chin moderators | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)06:30:13 No.63075110 >have fbi desk job >spend countless hours browsing through hardcore trap hentai and frog cartoons looking for potential threats >you are literally paid to do this daily 149 KB JPG Kek 5 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)06:31:48 No.63075125 >>63075110 (OP) # I will call you shortly >>63075316 # : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)06:47:08 No.63075316 >>63075125 # You can just call me Lewis
: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)06:30:13 No.63075110 >have fbi desk job >spend countless hours browsing through hardcore trap hentai and frog cartoons looking for potential threats >you are literally paid to do this daily 149 KB JPG Kek 5 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)06:31:48 No.63075125 >>63075110 (OP) # I will call you shortly >>63075316 # : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)06:47:08 No.63075316 >>63075125 # You can just call me Lewis

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Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 851406809 1 hr ago •.. >be me >2014 >18yo virgin >gets rejected from crush >sad.png >summer job >babysitter >baby has a single big tiddy mommy >"i'll be back at 9pm anon!" >5 hours later 53.8 kB JPG >baby is sleeping >big tiddy mommy comes back from work >"why so sad anon?" >takes two beers from the fridge >explains what happened >1 hour later >"oh poor anon :(" >"I'm still a virgin I wanted exp ya know?" >"oh you are a virgin anon?" >"yes" >she is a bit drunk >takes me upstairs >starts explaining >howtosex.jpeg >"touch my boobas" >dicksucked.exe >came in 20 seconds >"it's okay anon, don't worry :)" >round 2 >last longer >a--- >came inside condom >lay on the bed >finger her >round 3 >h------ >missionary >came again >final round >t------ >d--------- >facial Lost my virginity to a 34year old big tiddy momma while getting explained how to f--- her, best experience of my life REPLY
Anonymous 851406809 1 hr ago •.. >be me >2014 >18yo virgin >gets rejected from crush >sad.png >summer job >babysitter >baby has a single big tiddy mommy >"i'll be back at 9pm anon!" >5 hours later 53.8 kB JPG >baby is sleeping >big tiddy mommy comes back from work >"why so sad anon?" >takes two beers from the fridge >explains what happened >1 hour later >"oh poor anon :(" >"I'm still a virgin I wanted exp ya know?" >"oh you are a virgin anon?" >"yes" >she is a bit drunk >takes me upstairs >starts explaining >howtosex.jpeg >"touch my boobas" >dicksucked.exe >came in 20 seconds >"it's okay anon, don't worry :)" >round 2 >last longer >a--- >came inside condom >lay on the bed >finger her >round 3 >h------ >missionary >came again >final round >t------ >d--------- >facial Lost my virginity to a 34year old big tiddy momma while getting explained how to f--- her, best experience of my life REPLY

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Anon angers god??? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- >ask endocrinologist if it will ever stop >he says no and that i need laser 408 KB JPG >it costs a fortune Wat do /b/? : Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP
: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- >ask endocrinologist if it will ever stop >he says no and that i need laser 408 KB JPG >it costs a fortune Wat do /b/? : Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP

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Anon no longer cooms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)23:02:18 No.63069070 ATRADE OFFERZA >be me treceive you receive -breasts image booba emejijpg >coomer >limit myself to coom once a day >now no longer coomer >more productive 340 KB PNG Life is good. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)23:03:22 No.63069084 >>63069070 (OP) # Good job, anon. We will watch your career with great interest
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)23:02:18 No.63069070 ATRADE OFFERZA >be me treceive you receive -breasts image booba emejijpg >coomer >limit myself to coom once a day >now no longer coomer >more productive 340 KB PNG Life is good. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)23:03:22 No.63069084 >>63069070 (OP) # Good job, anon. We will watch your career with great interest

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Anon tries to banish a demon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)20:47:15 No.49497117 Most mortifying life experience stories. dios mio >Be me >14 >Sleeping >Hear loud thud 24 KB JPG >shitmypants.png >scuffling nosies on one of my walls >dont move a muscle >get idea >no demon would be haunting while someone is jerking off >whip out my d--- >start masturbaiting loudly >stare at the wall while moaning that I want whoevers there to f--- me >mfw the lights turn on >mfw it was my mom getting my laundry >mfw Im probably getting put up for adoption
: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)20:47:15 No.49497117 Most mortifying life experience stories. dios mio >Be me >14 >Sleeping >Hear loud thud 24 KB JPG >shitmypants.png >scuffling nosies on one of my walls >dont move a muscle >get idea >no demon would be haunting while someone is jerking off >whip out my d--- >start masturbaiting loudly >stare at the wall while moaning that I want whoevers there to f--- me >mfw the lights turn on >mfw it was my mom getting my laundry >mfw Im probably getting put up for adoption

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hopefully this isn't relatable. hopefully. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/25/18(Thu)21:50:58 No.48916684 File: 1523871501260.jpg (59 KB, 716x1024) >have friend >spend all our free time together >suddenly he gets a gf >has no time for me >"sorry anon you'll understand when you get a gf" >fast forward 13 years >no friend >no gf
Anonymous 10/25/18(Thu)21:50:58 No.48916684 File: 1523871501260.jpg (59 KB, 716x1024) >have friend >spend all our free time together >suddenly he gets a gf >has no time for me >"sorry anon you'll understand when you get a gf" >fast forward 13 years >no friend >no gf

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Anon lives in the present | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:55:53 No.63077012 >DUDE DO YOU REMEMBER 2XXX or 1XXXI MISS MY CHILDHOOD SO MUCH BROS WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE THE OLD DAY- 81 KB JPG SHUT THE F--- UP. I hate nostalgia tards so much. You know how tony soprano says that remember when is the lowest form of conversation? He is f------ correct, I literally cannot stand the amount of nostalgic sentiment on the internet and even IRL. F--- OFF. : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:58:48 No.63077044 >>63077012 (OP) # Do you remember when op wasnt a f-----? Yeah me neither. 185 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:55:53 No.63077012 >DUDE DO YOU REMEMBER 2XXX or 1XXXI MISS MY CHILDHOOD SO MUCH BROS WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE THE OLD DAY- 81 KB JPG SHUT THE F--- UP. I hate nostalgia tards so much. You know how tony soprano says that remember when is the lowest form of conversation? He is f------ correct, I literally cannot stand the amount of nostalgic sentiment on the internet and even IRL. F--- OFF. : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:58:48 No.63077044 >>63077012 (OP) # Do you remember when op wasnt a f-----? Yeah me neither. 185 KB PNG

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Anon remembers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Green text 10/14/18(Sun)01:38:28 No.558656 >be me 18 >graduated but still living with parents cause free food >read some s----- green text about how ghosts hate it when you beat 31 KB JPG your meat >forget about it >next day >1:00 am, lights in my house start flickering like mad, cold spots, general freaky s--- >remember green text >whip out my c--- >immediately the lights stop flickering and everything goes back to normal >mfw
: Anonymous Green text 10/14/18(Sun)01:38:28 No.558656 >be me 18 >graduated but still living with parents cause free food >read some s----- green text about how ghosts hate it when you beat 31 KB JPG your meat >forget about it >next day >1:00 am, lights in my house start flickering like mad, cold spots, general freaky s--- >remember green text >whip out my c--- >immediately the lights stop flickering and everything goes back to normal >mfw

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Anon goes to an American school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)23:05:44 No.851398857 >be me >travel abroad basically all my life due to dad's political work >live in various european/asian countries like sweden, denmark, turkey, afghanistan, etc >have a normal upbringing 76 KB JPG >plenty of friends, great classmates, etc >eventually move to the US >literally the first day of school, one of my american classmates throws a f------ stapler at me do you idiots not see the f------ problem here!?
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)23:05:44 No.851398857 >be me >travel abroad basically all my life due to dad's political work >live in various european/asian countries like sweden, denmark, turkey, afghanistan, etc >have a normal upbringing 76 KB JPG >plenty of friends, great classmates, etc >eventually move to the US >literally the first day of school, one of my american classmates throws a f------ stapler at me do you idiots not see the f------ problem here!?

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Anon tries to shit in peace | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:58:26 No.851366393 >be me >taking a s--- >window to bathroom is open and my bathroom is located in the backside of my house so you can see garden through window of bathroom 6 KB JPG > my neighbour is in his garden >hear me fart as the result of me trying to force it out >he makes a fart sound >tfw l'm sealing my bathroom windows forever
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:58:26 No.851366393 >be me >taking a s--- >window to bathroom is open and my bathroom is located in the backside of my house so you can see garden through window of bathroom 6 KB JPG > my neighbour is in his garden >hear me fart as the result of me trying to force it out >he makes a fart sound >tfw l'm sealing my bathroom windows forever

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