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Anon lives in Gotham | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)20:28:00 No.849400058 > be me > family starving > decide to commit crime > batman shows up > breaks my leg, both arms and spine > says he doesn't kill and leaves me with the pain 14 KB JPG > hospital bill I can't pay > mfw I have to commit crime to pay hospital bill now
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)20:28:00 No.849400058 > be me > family starving > decide to commit crime > batman shows up > breaks my leg, both arms and spine > says he doesn't kill and leaves me with the pain 14 KB JPG > hospital bill I can't pay > mfw I have to commit crime to pay hospital bill now

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anon doesn't have tattoo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)21:31:31 No.1346015 >foreign guy at work walks up to me and points at my arms and says "tattoo?" >l say "what?" >"tattoo?" >"uh, no. I don't have any." >"very nice. very good. me neither" >walks away 36 KB JPG
Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)21:31:31 No.1346015 >foreign guy at work walks up to me and points at my arms and says "tattoo?" >l say "what?" >"tattoo?" >"uh, no. I don't have any." >"very nice. very good. me neither" >walks away 36 KB JPG

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Anon gave himself away | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/18(Tue)22:26:12 No.45251443 >Be me, 18 >Last two weeks of Senior Year >In Math, everyone's goofing off and talking. >Paper gets dropped on 14 KB JPG my desk >Says: "Petition to get *black kid in my class* to sing at graduation." >Few names are written already >Write: "Ur mom gay" on a blank line. >5 Minutes Pass >Girl on the verge of tears walks to the front of class >"I don't know who had the f------ audacity to make fun of my best friend like that. But whoever it was, I want you to know that you're not funny!" >waitwhat.jpeg >Explain that it's a dumb internet joke >Nobody gets the reference >Chad from the football team gets in my face and threatens to "clock me in the mouth" if I don't apologize. >MFW the guy actually had two moms
: Anonymous 05/08/18(Tue)22:26:12 No.45251443 >Be me, 18 >Last two weeks of Senior Year >In Math, everyone's goofing off and talking. >Paper gets dropped on 14 KB JPG my desk >Says: "Petition to get *black kid in my class* to sing at graduation." >Few names are written already >Write: "Ur mom gay" on a blank line. >5 Minutes Pass >Girl on the verge of tears walks to the front of class >"I don't know who had the f------ audacity to make fun of my best friend like that. But whoever it was, I want you to know that you're not funny!" >waitwhat.jpeg >Explain that it's a dumb internet joke >Nobody gets the reference >Chad from the football team gets in my face and threatens to "clock me in the mouth" if I don't apologize. >MFW the guy actually had two moms

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Anon is suffering | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)05:55:25 No.148868594 i (12).jpg 141 KB JPG >everyday im suffering
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)05:55:25 No.148868594 i (12).jpg 141 KB JPG >everyday im suffering

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anon has the best taste of food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:45:09 No.13151086 >Welcome to Paris monsieur, we serve ze best cuisine in ze universe >May I take your ordeure ? 122 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:46:56 No.13151098 I'll have the chicken tenderloins. Lightly fried, with a honey sweetened Dijon mustard sauce. 57 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:45:09 No.13151086 >Welcome to Paris monsieur, we serve ze best cuisine in ze universe >May I take your ordeure ? 122 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:46:56 No.13151098 I'll have the chicken tenderloins. Lightly fried, with a honey sweetened Dijon mustard sauce. 57 KB JPG

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Anon gets high | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)14:35:27 No.63054792 >smoke weed for the first time >As I'm high I realize how the objectively cruel and violent of a place the world is >Start panicking The f---, I thought this s--- was supposed to help you relax and it did the exact opposite 165 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)14:36:47 No.63054809 >>63054792 (OP) # I've been smoking weed for a few years now. If you're an underage f-- below 16, don't smoke weed you frogposting f-----. 51 KB JPG >>63054850 #
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)14:35:27 No.63054792 >smoke weed for the first time >As I'm high I realize how the objectively cruel and violent of a place the world is >Start panicking The f---, I thought this s--- was supposed to help you relax and it did the exact opposite 165 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)14:36:47 No.63054809 >>63054792 (OP) # I've been smoking weed for a few years now. If you're an underage f-- below 16, don't smoke weed you frogposting f-----. 51 KB JPG >>63054850 #

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Anon's crush is crushed by black susan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/18(Tue)07:22:58 No.786522740 >be me >high school >algebra >crush comes in to give teacher раpers 53 КВ ЈPG >say hi >no response >say hi again >ghetto black girl screams "SHE DON'T WANT YOU N----" >entire class laughs >crush blushes and runs out the door >teachers begin to chuckle >mfw
: Anonymous 12/04/18(Tue)07:22:58 No.786522740 >be me >high school >algebra >crush comes in to give teacher раpers 53 КВ ЈPG >say hi >no response >say hi again >ghetto black girl screams "SHE DON'T WANT YOU N----" >entire class laughs >crush blushes and runs out the door >teachers begin to chuckle >mfw

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Anon loves his grandma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous grandparents are the best 04/04/21(Sun)22:02:29 No.63055779 >be me >go to megalibral college so everyone is scared of virus and cant meet people >classes canceled too, between that and the fact l'm a freshman I 21 KB JPG have prob 2 friends >easter rolls around I'm just doing some homework >get a call from grandma "hey anon wanna come over? we got some candy for you" >go over and get chocolate bunny from them >eating the bunny and browsing the web, feel a little less lonely take care of your grandparents if you have them still anons
: Anonymous grandparents are the best 04/04/21(Sun)22:02:29 No.63055779 >be me >go to megalibral college so everyone is scared of virus and cant meet people >classes canceled too, between that and the fact l'm a freshman I 21 KB JPG have prob 2 friends >easter rolls around I'm just doing some homework >get a call from grandma "hey anon wanna come over? we got some candy for you" >go over and get chocolate bunny from them >eating the bunny and browsing the web, feel a little less lonely take care of your grandparents if you have them still anons

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Anon's mom doesn't knock on his door | /r/Greentext

No.706434435 1 hour ago >be me >be fapping day and night >stupid mom keeps not knocking on the door and just barging in >hadn't gotten caught yet, but I had some close calls >hatch a plan >decide to sit naked in my room all day so she'll be embarrassed next time it happens >all day I'm sitting naked in my chair >it happened >she ALWAYS knocks now Sometimes you gotta lose the battle to win the war. 5 replies ...
No.706434435 1 hour ago >be me >be fapping day and night >stupid mom keeps not knocking on the door and just barging in >hadn't gotten caught yet, but I had some close calls >hatch a plan >decide to sit naked in my room all day so she'll be embarrassed next time it happens >all day I'm sitting naked in my chair >it happened >she ALWAYS knocks now Sometimes you gotta lose the battle to win the war. 5 replies ...

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Anon takes the trap-pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:33:43 No.851289239 > be netflix and chilling with girl > midway through watching cars > "anon, where is the bathroom?" > "first door on your right" > she comes back laughing her ass 78 KB JPG off > "anon why the f--- do you have fred flintstone vitamins and tylenol for children" > "uhh i have trouble swalling pills so i prefer the gummies and chewables" > "i might be able to help with that" > she proceeds to pull down her pants > d--- bigger than mine > mfw
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:33:43 No.851289239 > be netflix and chilling with girl > midway through watching cars > "anon, where is the bathroom?" > "first door on your right" > she comes back laughing her ass 78 KB JPG off > "anon why the f--- do you have fred flintstone vitamins and tylenol for children" > "uhh i have trouble swalling pills so i prefer the gummies and chewables" > "i might be able to help with that" > she proceeds to pull down her pants > d--- bigger than mine > mfw

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anon is scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/18(Wed)15:20:34 No.48226468 >This Uber driver is known for great conversation 7 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 09/19/18(Wed)15:20:34 No.48226468 >This Uber driver is known for great conversation 7 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon will do anything for his best bro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)01:08:51 No.48912327 >be me >like this girl >make it instantly known to best bro >realize a couple days later that he has liked for longer than I >realize he would is giving the 8 KB JPG shot to me >days to by, girl makes move on best bro >he looks to me >l give him the go >hurts, but I know my best bro will be happy did I do good?
: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)01:08:51 No.48912327 >be me >like this girl >make it instantly known to best bro >realize a couple days later that he has liked for longer than I >realize he would is giving the 8 KB JPG shot to me >days to by, girl makes move on best bro >he looks to me >l give him the go >hurts, but I know my best bro will be happy did I do good?

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Anon rises against big tech | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:48:58 No.851279857 > be posting to 4chan > see reCAPTCHA > asks me to mark the pictures parking meters > also mark a picture of a mailbox > it works 16 KB JPG > f--- you google > mfw
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:48:58 No.851279857 > be posting to 4chan > see reCAPTCHA > asks me to mark the pictures parking meters > also mark a picture of a mailbox > it works 16 KB JPG > f--- you google > mfw

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Anon is petty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:38:25 No.63052232 >ask friend if he wants to play something >refuses me >after 10 mins i see him playing a game with someone else >instantly block him and never talk to him again 128 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:38:25 No.63052232 >ask friend if he wants to play something >refuses me >after 10 mins i see him playing a game with someone else >instantly block him and never talk to him again 128 KB PNG

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This might actually be helpful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)04:48:53 No.63043602 Just reminding you all about the double gooch tap. > Do you have a pee dribble no matter how much you shake? > Especially after you've walked away from the bathroom and sit or something? 31 KB JPG > Worried that you smell of pee? Step 1: Finish peeing (stand up while you do it) Step 2: Shake once Step 3: Reach behind your balls and press your gooch twice to move the pee forwards Step 4: Milk pee from base of c--- once and shake once more Step 5: Wash hands When you know, you know!
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)04:48:53 No.63043602 Just reminding you all about the double gooch tap. > Do you have a pee dribble no matter how much you shake? > Especially after you've walked away from the bathroom and sit or something? 31 KB JPG > Worried that you smell of pee? Step 1: Finish peeing (stand up while you do it) Step 2: Shake once Step 3: Reach behind your balls and press your gooch twice to move the pee forwards Step 4: Milk pee from base of c--- once and shake once more Step 5: Wash hands When you know, you know!

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Anon gets pulled over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)15:15:43 No.63049990 >Be me >Black >Driving home from work >Get pulled over >S---.jpg >White officer comes to window >Asks for licence 15 KB JPG >Says I was speeding | >I s--- myself thinking he is gonna kill me >Tells me it's a fine for speeding >Instinctively shout "Come the f--- on!" >Realise what I just said >He realises what I just said "Sorry bro it's my job" >Leaves Maybe all this police brutality really is a myth? Where my brothas and sistas lyin to me?
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)15:15:43 No.63049990 >Be me >Black >Driving home from work >Get pulled over >S---.jpg >White officer comes to window >Asks for licence 15 KB JPG >Says I was speeding | >I s--- myself thinking he is gonna kill me >Tells me it's a fine for speeding >Instinctively shout "Come the f--- on!" >Realise what I just said >He realises what I just said "Sorry bro it's my job" >Leaves Maybe all this police brutality really is a myth? Where my brothas and sistas lyin to me?

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Anon agrees with feminists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)19:24:57 No.851278483 >professor turned off her zoom camera to breastfeed her baby >told her she didn't have to because there's nothing shameful about breastfeeding >several dumb feminist bitches in my class agree >mfw I got a full frontal views of my 33 KB JPG professors big juicy milkers
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)19:24:57 No.851278483 >professor turned off her zoom camera to breastfeed her baby >told her she didn't have to because there's nothing shameful about breastfeeding >several dumb feminist bitches in my class agree >mfw I got a full frontal views of my 33 KB JPG professors big juicy milkers

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The importance of fitness : anon edition | /r/Greentext

ALRIGHT /FIT/ - THIS IS WHAT WE LIFT FOR WHAT THE F--- >visit dad 50 KB JPG >asks me to buy a christmas tree >we go buy a nice one >carry it around like a slave >mom is happy >feelsgoodman >i lift it into the house dad says hes not feeling well >my >COLLAPSES >W-- >mom panics >dad just laying there knocked out >we put him in a safe position quickly >my heart is racing >i decide to LIIFT him up and carry him to the couch >mom calls 911 >im panicking too >figure that the hospital is not so far away >LIFT him back up and carry him into car >mom is screaming at me but i cant hear s--- >race to hospital >LIFT him out of the car and carry him into ER >scream around like an autist >mfw they told me he had a stroke and probably would have died if it wasnt for my lifts
ALRIGHT /FIT/ - THIS IS WHAT WE LIFT FOR WHAT THE F--- >visit dad 50 KB JPG >asks me to buy a christmas tree >we go buy a nice one >carry it around like a slave >mom is happy >feelsgoodman >i lift it into the house dad says hes not feeling well >my >COLLAPSES >W-- >mom panics >dad just laying there knocked out >we put him in a safe position quickly >my heart is racing >i decide to LIIFT him up and carry him to the couch >mom calls 911 >im panicking too >figure that the hospital is not so far away >LIFT him back up and carry him into car >mom is screaming at me but i cant hear s--- >race to hospital >LIFT him out of the car and carry him into ER >scream around like an autist >mfw they told me he had a stroke and probably would have died if it wasnt for my lifts

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Anon buys shoes | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)07:10:26 No.61590654 >get rejected by my crush >she tells me should try walking in her shoes >buy shoes similar to hers >everyone starts calling me f----- 63 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
| Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)07:10:26 No.61590654 >get rejected by my crush >she tells me should try walking in her shoes >buy shoes similar to hers >everyone starts calling me f----- 63 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is nearly 30 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49679001 16 mins ago •• you ask people how old do they think you are and they say 30 >tfw >tfw I was offered a seat on the bus yesterday I'm only 27 I still have time.. 181.9 kB JPG
Anonymous | 49679001 16 mins ago •• you ask people how old do they think you are and they say 30 >tfw >tfw I was offered a seat on the bus yesterday I'm only 27 I still have time.. 181.9 kB JPG

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