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Anon is an alcoholic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:14:27 No.63049047 what was your first contact with alcohol anons? ill go first >be me around 11 >grandpa's birthday at a 10 KB JPG restaurant >thirsty >only have soda and juices but no water at the table >afraid to ask to order water >remember a tank in the entrance like a glass barrel with a clear liquid inside >bingo >go there >only small cups >there's a free coffee table next to it >guess they ran out of cups >fill cup >take a shot >water feels weird >realize >not water fuckfuckfuckfuck >go back to family >tell them the water tastes like gasoline they laugh and tell me that's how alcohol tastes like >my breath >even I can smell it >feels like I am a divorced 48 yo with a prostitute daughter a drug addict son and a miscarried child that's it go back to trap p---
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:14:27 No.63049047 what was your first contact with alcohol anons? ill go first >be me around 11 >grandpa's birthday at a 10 KB JPG restaurant >thirsty >only have soda and juices but no water at the table >afraid to ask to order water >remember a tank in the entrance like a glass barrel with a clear liquid inside >bingo >go there >only small cups >there's a free coffee table next to it >guess they ran out of cups >fill cup >take a shot >water feels weird >realize >not water fuckfuckfuckfuck >go back to family >tell them the water tastes like gasoline they laugh and tell me that's how alcohol tastes like >my breath >even I can smell it >feels like I am a divorced 48 yo with a prostitute daughter a drug addict son and a miscarried child that's it go back to trap p---

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Anon have fallen right into the trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:00:19 No.63048956 >manual breathing >manual blinking 124 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:01:07 No.63048960 >>63048956 (OP) # f--- you OP now im gonna have to deal with this for 5 minutes i hate you
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:00:19 No.63048956 >manual breathing >manual blinking 124 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:01:07 No.63048960 >>63048956 (OP) # f--- you OP now im gonna have to deal with this for 5 minutes i hate you

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OP doesn't acknowledge god's work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- >ask endocrinologist if it will ever 408 KB JPG stop >he says no and that i need laser >it costs a fortune Wat do /b/? : Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP
: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- >ask endocrinologist if it will ever 408 KB JPG stop >he says no and that i need laser >it costs a fortune Wat do /b/? : Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP

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Anon is a godzilla fan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)08:36:30 No.849893234 >be me >is 18 and live with a roommate >roommate loves godzilla s--- >never cleans his room >his room is filled with godzilla s--- >looks exactly like a neckbeard nest except filled with godzilla 38 KB JPG figurines and s--- >one day decide to clean the house alone >whilst cleaning, i smelled a weird scent coming from under the bed >i decide to dig out the garbage under the bed out of curiosity >finds a almost 1 foot c-- vial with godzilla in it >vomit.jpeg >immediately calls him and ask w-- is that >tells me a long story on how every time he jacked off he would deposit into the jar >mfw Tldr roommate had a godzilla c-- vial
: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)08:36:30 No.849893234 >be me >is 18 and live with a roommate >roommate loves godzilla s--- >never cleans his room >his room is filled with godzilla s--- >looks exactly like a neckbeard nest except filled with godzilla 38 KB JPG figurines and s--- >one day decide to clean the house alone >whilst cleaning, i smelled a weird scent coming from under the bed >i decide to dig out the garbage under the bed out of curiosity >finds a almost 1 foot c-- vial with godzilla in it >vomit.jpeg >immediately calls him and ask w-- is that >tells me a long story on how every time he jacked off he would deposit into the jar >mfw Tldr roommate had a godzilla c-- vial

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Anon feels numb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)23:27:52 No.851218453 >be me, few hours ago >decide to try out p--- games >find one about a dad with 3 adult step daughters >click it to see if its worth it ffw 10 minutes 37 KB JPG >"h-------- its actually good" >play it for some time >lose focus after hearing a weird noise in my room >mfw I didnt notice its dark >mfw Ive been playing a p--- game for 5 hours straight >mfw it didnt even save my progress I didnt even j-------, from what I read the first sex scene was half an hour away
: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)23:27:52 No.851218453 >be me, few hours ago >decide to try out p--- games >find one about a dad with 3 adult step daughters >click it to see if its worth it ffw 10 minutes 37 KB JPG >"h-------- its actually good" >play it for some time >lose focus after hearing a weird noise in my room >mfw I didnt notice its dark >mfw Ive been playing a p--- game for 5 hours straight >mfw it didnt even save my progress I didnt even j-------, from what I read the first sex scene was half an hour away

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Anon wants to do better | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)23:26:26 No.851218356 >33 yo >want to start taking care of health, go to doc to get checked out >anon you have high BP >huh? >Go on health binge, cut back sodium, sugar quit drinking, start 12 KB JPG smoking weed instead. >month later get a gout attack >go to doc >your BP is getting worse you need to go on meds. w-- is happening why am I getting worse when I'm trying to get better and cutting out all the s--- from my life... : Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)23:27:53 No.851218456 Because you are a F-----, OP.
: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)23:26:26 No.851218356 >33 yo >want to start taking care of health, go to doc to get checked out >anon you have high BP >huh? >Go on health binge, cut back sodium, sugar quit drinking, start 12 KB JPG smoking weed instead. >month later get a gout attack >go to doc >your BP is getting worse you need to go on meds. w-- is happening why am I getting worse when I'm trying to get better and cutting out all the s--- from my life... : Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)23:27:53 No.851218456 Because you are a F-----, OP.

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anon is tired of quarantine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/20(Mon)01:07:02 No.828416704 > be me > haven't left the house for anything other than for walks all of quarantine > play video games i hate to forget about life 75 KB JPG > watch shows i've seen three times > lay in bed > haven't worked out in months > haven't worked in months > fantasize about dreams that i don't even enjoy, just imagine being accepted > fantasize of an afterlife or deeper meaning > wake up every morning with no feelings of excitement > have anxiety over a life i don't even have any goals for is there a worse life than a humans?
: Anonymous 05/25/20(Mon)01:07:02 No.828416704 > be me > haven't left the house for anything other than for walks all of quarantine > play video games i hate to forget about life 75 KB JPG > watch shows i've seen three times > lay in bed > haven't worked out in months > haven't worked in months > fantasize about dreams that i don't even enjoy, just imagine being accepted > fantasize of an afterlife or deeper meaning > wake up every morning with no feelings of excitement > have anxiety over a life i don't even have any goals for is there a worse life than a humans?

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Anon copies pig | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)11:11:48 No.9507909 Technosensei >be me 4 years ago >mildly autistic high school kid >no friends, nothing new >pretty sure everyone at school hates me >obsessed with youtube >mostly watch minecraft youtuber 153 KB JPG technoblade >want to be confident like him >start copying his mannerisms and speech patterns >try to think like he would >try to work like he would >genuinely started to gain a sense of confidence in myself and my work >started grinding and improving more than my high school classmates >pays off, get a full ride to a good college >got into a relationship >found a great friend group >teachers admire my work ethic >getting work opportunities early on thank you minecraft pig man
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)11:11:48 No.9507909 Technosensei >be me 4 years ago >mildly autistic high school kid >no friends, nothing new >pretty sure everyone at school hates me >obsessed with youtube >mostly watch minecraft youtuber 153 KB JPG technoblade >want to be confident like him >start copying his mannerisms and speech patterns >try to think like he would >try to work like he would >genuinely started to gain a sense of confidence in myself and my work >started grinding and improving more than my high school classmates >pays off, get a full ride to a good college >got into a relationship >found a great friend group >teachers admire my work ethic >getting work opportunities early on thank you minecraft pig man

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Anon comes from the land of the rising sun | /r/Greentext

Anon comes from a land of the rising sun Anonymous 04/04/19 (Thu) 11:37:42 No.8787553 [Reply] [Watch Thread] [Show All Posts] >be me >In Japan, heart surgeon. >Number one. >Steady hand. >One day, Yakuza boss need new heart. >l do operation. >But mistake! >Yakuza boss die! >Yakuza very mad! >l hide fishing boat, come to America. >No English, no food, no money. >4chan give me job. >Now I have house, American car and new woman. >4chan save life. >My big secret. >l kill yakuza boss on purpose. >l good surgeon. The best!
Anon comes from a land of the rising sun Anonymous 04/04/19 (Thu) 11:37:42 No.8787553 [Reply] [Watch Thread] [Show All Posts] >be me >In Japan, heart surgeon. >Number one. >Steady hand. >One day, Yakuza boss need new heart. >l do operation. >But mistake! >Yakuza boss die! >Yakuza very mad! >l hide fishing boat, come to America. >No English, no food, no money. >4chan give me job. >Now I have house, American car and new woman. >4chan save life. >My big secret. >l kill yakuza boss on purpose. >l good surgeon. The best!

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anon takes a piss | /r/Greentext

File: 430017921901789186.png (11 KB, 90x90) Anonymous 09/28/18(Fri)15:23:14 No.48394297 >be me >in college >have a roomate >watching youtube >urgent need to take a piss >fuckfuckfuck.avi >try to rip the door open to the bathroom >f------ roomate is taking a shower >feel like my d--- is about to release a nuclear load >lightbulb.png >take milk carton out of the fridge >take my d--- out >try to piss in the carton >2 seconds in notice something not right >f------ forgot to take off the cap >end up pissing all over the carton, floor and my hand why am i like this?
File: 430017921901789186.png (11 KB, 90x90) Anonymous 09/28/18(Fri)15:23:14 No.48394297 >be me >in college >have a roomate >watching youtube >urgent need to take a piss >fuckfuckfuck.avi >try to rip the door open to the bathroom >f------ roomate is taking a shower >feel like my d--- is about to release a nuclear load >lightbulb.png >take milk carton out of the fridge >take my d--- out >try to piss in the carton >2 seconds in notice something not right >f------ forgot to take off the cap >end up pissing all over the carton, floor and my hand why am i like this?

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Anon gets paired up with a roastie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)07:00:44 No.63047567 >first year of high school >typical nerdy ugly kid >english teacher putting us in pairs for a debate project >get paired with one of the popular girls >she starts complaining instantly 58 KB JPG but it falls on deaf ears >try being amicable >acts like a complete bitch towards me >turns around to complain to one of her friends while i'm sitting right there >refuses to do any work/research aside from being the captain of the debate >end up having to do everything why are normies so mean just because you're ugly?
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)07:00:44 No.63047567 >first year of high school >typical nerdy ugly kid >english teacher putting us in pairs for a debate project >get paired with one of the popular girls >she starts complaining instantly 58 KB JPG but it falls on deaf ears >try being amicable >acts like a complete bitch towards me >turns around to complain to one of her friends while i'm sitting right there >refuses to do any work/research aside from being the captain of the debate >end up having to do everything why are normies so mean just because you're ugly?

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Anon has a stupid idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...
Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...

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Anon drinks urine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cozy thread 07/22/18(Sun)06:00:45 No.46970058 >stayed up till late >go to sleep at 3-4ish >thunderstorm starts >thunder so loud i wake up >i look outside, it's raining buckets >get out of bed, make a cup of yellow tea 15 KB JPG >go back in, blankets still warm >sound of rain calms me >feelscozyman
: Anonymous Cozy thread 07/22/18(Sun)06:00:45 No.46970058 >stayed up till late >go to sleep at 3-4ish >thunderstorm starts >thunder so loud i wake up >i look outside, it's raining buckets >get out of bed, make a cup of yellow tea 15 KB JPG >go back in, blankets still warm >sound of rain calms me >feelscozyman

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Anon discovers magic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)22:50:05 No.851264676 >be me >be at girls house for the first time >notice she has magic wand plugged in >says she just leaves it plugged in cause it's easier 61 KB JPG Am I dating a female coomer?
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)22:50:05 No.851264676 >be me >be at girls house for the first time >notice she has magic wand plugged in >says she just leaves it plugged in cause it's easier 61 KB JPG Am I dating a female coomer?

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Anon works at a funeral agency | /r/Greentext

12:28 : Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)21:06:11 No.60926043 EVEN ON THE COLDEST NICHTS >>60925869 # F--- it might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile LEAT MY OWN C-- 170 KB PNG too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >i try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >i want to say "even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones willI let us see the dawn once more" >"even on the coldest nights, i eat my own c--"
12:28 : Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)21:06:11 No.60926043 EVEN ON THE COLDEST NICHTS >>60925869 # F--- it might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile LEAT MY OWN C-- 170 KB PNG too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >i try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >i want to say "even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones willI let us see the dawn once more" >"even on the coldest nights, i eat my own c--"

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Oh I see the problem | /r/Greentext

drakenjosh.jpg 174 KB JPG >"Drake?" >"What?" >"Where is the body of Christ?"
drakenjosh.jpg 174 KB JPG >"Drake?" >"What?" >"Where is the body of Christ?"

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Anon finds a government conspiracy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)19:45:43 No.63037880 >some water pipes broke down in my commieblock >no cold water available >called the city plumber and they said they had a problem and because of Easter, it will only be 7 KB JPG fixed on Tuesday >meanwhile, I can't take a normal shower without receiving first degree burns, can't wash my clothes or even take a s--- without drowning it in gallons of hot water (which will give me a huge water bill at the end of the month) Holy f---, I'm so f------ mad, I'm thinking this is some government conspiracy so I don't leave my house during the holidays
: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)19:45:43 No.63037880 >some water pipes broke down in my commieblock >no cold water available >called the city plumber and they said they had a problem and because of Easter, it will only be 7 KB JPG fixed on Tuesday >meanwhile, I can't take a normal shower without receiving first degree burns, can't wash my clothes or even take a s--- without drowning it in gallons of hot water (which will give me a huge water bill at the end of the month) Holy f---, I'm so f------ mad, I'm thinking this is some government conspiracy so I don't leave my house during the holidays

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Anon has a great job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 KB PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 KB PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"

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Anon gets healthy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)07:38:43 No.63047998 >take a break from fizzy drinks and juice >little by little introduce water as my main drink >Now water tastes absolutely delicious to me and drinking anyhting other than just doesnt sit 69 KB PNG right with me Admittedly I still drink alot of tea but this s--- is amazing. Hopefully when I have the money to buy my own groceries I can teach myself to love good food and exercise.
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)07:38:43 No.63047998 >take a break from fizzy drinks and juice >little by little introduce water as my main drink >Now water tastes absolutely delicious to me and drinking anyhting other than just doesnt sit 69 KB PNG right with me Admittedly I still drink alot of tea but this s--- is amazing. Hopefully when I have the money to buy my own groceries I can teach myself to love good food and exercise.

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Anon ended racism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)15:37:53 No.851255686 >be black >go to 4chan >say white bois will be a minority in 30 years or some similar s--- >post bbc p--- >racism is no more 49 KB JPG Is this what they consider a victory? They beat racism by posting bbc p--- onto here? Don't you have something better to do? 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)15:58:08 No.851256370 >>851255686 (OP) # do you really think blacks post those threads?
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)15:37:53 No.851255686 >be black >go to 4chan >say white bois will be a minority in 30 years or some similar s--- >post bbc p--- >racism is no more 49 KB JPG Is this what they consider a victory? They beat racism by posting bbc p--- onto here? Don't you have something better to do? 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)15:58:08 No.851256370 >>851255686 (OP) # do you really think blacks post those threads?

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