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Anon is wise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)05:59:51 No.63003087 "ADHD" isn't real. You're lazy and/or low IQ. >b-but what about psychiatry It's a b------- field that exists to push pills. >b-but when I took stimulants I 116 KB JPG did better Yeah of course you did, f-------, you were taking stimulants. >b-but muh neuro""'science"" study with a sample size of 15 said there are brain differences Imao cope Just stop being lazy you f------ f------. 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)05:59:51 No.63003087 "ADHD" isn't real. You're lazy and/or low IQ. >b-but what about psychiatry It's a b------- field that exists to push pills. >b-but when I took stimulants I 116 KB JPG did better Yeah of course you did, f-------, you were taking stimulants. >b-but muh neuro""'science"" study with a sample size of 15 said there are brain differences Imao cope Just stop being lazy you f------ f------. 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon's experience with stacy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/17(Fri)11:21:02 No.38846715 >stacy started thriwing a fit because chad didnt give her enough attention >later comes up to me >says she wants to f--- me to get back at chad 54 KB JPG >implies that im ugly and sleeping with me would make chad p----- >refuse >tfw virginity protected >tfw escaped stacy's mind games >tfw stacy just got rejected by ugliest guy she knows 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 08/04/17(Fri)11:21:02 No.38846715 >stacy started thriwing a fit because chad didnt give her enough attention >later comes up to me >says she wants to f--- me to get back at chad 54 KB JPG >implies that im ugly and sleeping with me would make chad p----- >refuse >tfw virginity protected >tfw escaped stacy's mind games >tfw stacy just got rejected by ugliest guy she knows 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon gets hit on | /r/Greentext

C--- Department Acсept Аcсept O Mires Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)16:38:31 No.60672674 >>60672817 >>60673146 >>60673374 >>60674253 >>60674637 >Come into work today >Say hello to boss >He says I've got something on my ass >l start trying to find out what's on my ass >l ask him to point it out to me >He gives me a sexy look and says "my eyes" >try to awkwardly laugh it off and 360 do the dinosaur Now I'm seriously thinking he's gay but idk he's got a kid on the way.
C--- Department Acсept Аcсept O Mires Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)16:38:31 No.60672674 >>60672817 >>60673146 >>60673374 >>60674253 >>60674637 >Come into work today >Say hello to boss >He says I've got something on my ass >l start trying to find out what's on my ass >l ask him to point it out to me >He gives me a sexy look and says "my eyes" >try to awkwardly laugh it off and 360 do the dinosaur Now I'm seriously thinking he's gay but idk he's got a kid on the way.

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Anon is cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/18(Mon)17:23:56 No.43333367 >Sight works by capturing photons that reflect off object >Photons that toutched girls have toutched my eyes See you beta virgins later 154 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 02/19/18(Mon)17:23:56 No.43333367 >Sight works by capturing photons that reflect off object >Photons that toutched girls have toutched my eyes See you beta virgins later 154 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon is keeping the balance of the universe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)12:30:16 No.63007868 >didnt s--- for 3 days >S--- 3 times in the last hour Back to normal 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)12:30:16 No.63007868 >didnt s--- for 3 days >S--- 3 times in the last hour Back to normal 61 KB JPG

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Anon is a rapper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)21:03:40 No.765096120 Well... >Be me >Amateur rapper >Spend hours daily writing verses >Finally get a show >Fuckyesnotgonnabeawagecuck.midi >Night of the show 79 KB JPG >Get really f------ tense when I see the crowd must be like 200 people there >forget all my f------ lines >Mfw >Awkwardly start to mumble what I think my lines are into the microphone >THEY F------ START SCREAMING WITH EXCITEMENT >mfw the last few years of my life have been a waste of time when I could have mumbled f------ anything and been rly successful
: Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)21:03:40 No.765096120 Well... >Be me >Amateur rapper >Spend hours daily writing verses >Finally get a show >Fuckyesnotgonnabeawagecuck.midi >Night of the show 79 KB JPG >Get really f------ tense when I see the crowd must be like 200 people there >forget all my f------ lines >Mfw >Awkwardly start to mumble what I think my lines are into the microphone >THEY F------ START SCREAMING WITH EXCITEMENT >mfw the last few years of my life have been a waste of time when I could have mumbled f------ anything and been rly successful

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anon impresses the in-laws | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: IPha3kZp) 07/27/12(Fri)13:07:54 No.415034363 ITT: Bad first impressions > Went to girlfriend's house > First time meeting parents > Pull into driveway >I know she has a cat and a dog > Remember I have my laser pointer > excellent.png > Think I'm gonna make everyone's day by playing with the animals > All shall lol > Go inside > Hi, Hello, My name is Derp, I'm 19, etc. > Dog on couch > Cat walks into room > Shine laser pointer on floor > Cat leaps for it > Dog leaps for it > Dog attacks cat for whatever the f--- reason > Cat died > Dog has heart attack > Dog died > MFW I killed these people's beloved pets within five minutes of meeting them Anonymous (ID: UXOZV5XK) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:06 No.415034636 File: 1343409006753.jpg-(17 KB, 235x284, 1335247816033 jpg) >mfw Anonymous (ID: tcTk5K3x) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:07 No.415034640 B------- Anonymous (ID: CzjW16lb) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:36 No.415034701 You're pretty much my hero right now.
Anonymous (ID: IPha3kZp) 07/27/12(Fri)13:07:54 No.415034363 ITT: Bad first impressions > Went to girlfriend's house > First time meeting parents > Pull into driveway >I know she has a cat and a dog > Remember I have my laser pointer > excellent.png > Think I'm gonna make everyone's day by playing with the animals > All shall lol > Go inside > Hi, Hello, My name is Derp, I'm 19, etc. > Dog on couch > Cat walks into room > Shine laser pointer on floor > Cat leaps for it > Dog leaps for it > Dog attacks cat for whatever the f--- reason > Cat died > Dog has heart attack > Dog died > MFW I killed these people's beloved pets within five minutes of meeting them Anonymous (ID: UXOZV5XK) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:06 No.415034636 File: 1343409006753.jpg-(17 KB, 235x284, 1335247816033 jpg) >mfw Anonymous (ID: tcTk5K3x) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:07 No.415034640 B------- Anonymous (ID: CzjW16lb) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:36 No.415034701 You're pretty much my hero right now.

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Anon wants to abuse substances | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)21:08:47 No.816880341 F----- up cocktail time, lads. I've filled this bottle with. >rum >espresso >alcohol based vanilla 1.91 MB JPG >lots of nutmeg >a dash of nyquil >a whole crushed up 30mg oxycodone >cannabis cream (the fat holds the THC) I call it the moloko minus. Either l'll die or go on a rampage. Lets try it out. Ill keep you updated. 19 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)21:08:47 No.816880341 F----- up cocktail time, lads. I've filled this bottle with. >rum >espresso >alcohol based vanilla 1.91 MB JPG >lots of nutmeg >a dash of nyquil >a whole crushed up 30mg oxycodone >cannabis cream (the fat holds the THC) I call it the moloko minus. Either l'll die or go on a rampage. Lets try it out. Ill keep you updated. 19 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon thinks he is worth smth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >I have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >I have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >l can protect my wife and offspring from predators >l can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >l have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.
: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >I have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >I have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >l can protect my wife and offspring from predators >l can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >l have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.

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Anon is a woman | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_20210331-11103(.).jpg (37 KB, 500x285) I Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)11:10:52 No.62995880 [Reply] >Be femanon >Wake up >Do stuff for onlyfans >printing my own money doing this >Get dressed and go off to school >Male teacher asks what the powerhouse of the cell is >Raise hand and he calls on me >Start talking about my onlyfans Daddy >Teacher tells me how that is not appropriate >Call him a pervert for talking about a girl's onlyfans >Class agrees >We march down to front office and say how teacher r---- me >Every Girl and 3 boys act as witnesses >Male teacher gets sent to prison >Class is over, head over to next class >Boy stops me in hallway "Hey anon, why did you frame mr. Teacher? He did nothing wrong" >Tell him to f--- off >Hit him several times >He stands still, at this point everyone is watching and recording, egging me on and cheering for me >Eventually he strikes me back >Victim mode: [ON] >Collapse onto floor >Army of simps pin boy to ground and beat him to the point of nearly killing him >Boy gets suspended and threatened with expulsion for fighting >Get off clean because "Small inconveniences shouldn't weigh me down" >Go home, film more onlyfans s--- and go to bed It's so hard being a woman, men have it easy
File: Screenshot_20210331-11103(.).jpg (37 KB, 500x285) I Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)11:10:52 No.62995880 [Reply] >Be femanon >Wake up >Do stuff for onlyfans >printing my own money doing this >Get dressed and go off to school >Male teacher asks what the powerhouse of the cell is >Raise hand and he calls on me >Start talking about my onlyfans Daddy >Teacher tells me how that is not appropriate >Call him a pervert for talking about a girl's onlyfans >Class agrees >We march down to front office and say how teacher r---- me >Every Girl and 3 boys act as witnesses >Male teacher gets sent to prison >Class is over, head over to next class >Boy stops me in hallway "Hey anon, why did you frame mr. Teacher? He did nothing wrong" >Tell him to f--- off >Hit him several times >He stands still, at this point everyone is watching and recording, egging me on and cheering for me >Eventually he strikes me back >Victim mode: [ON] >Collapse onto floor >Army of simps pin boy to ground and beat him to the point of nearly killing him >Boy gets suspended and threatened with expulsion for fighting >Get off clean because "Small inconveniences shouldn't weigh me down" >Go home, film more onlyfans s--- and go to bed It's so hard being a woman, men have it easy

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "“Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up
: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "“Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up

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Anon gets raped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)09:16:16 No.60630730 ► >60631012 >>60634683 >>60637538 >>60641592 File: 1587918012595.jpg (63 KB, 640x605) >>60626198 (OP) >Wake up, wife rapes me >Go to bathroom, female neighbor crawls through window and rapes me >Go to kitchen, wife rapes me again >Get dressed for work, paralysis demon jumps out of the closet and rapes me >Leave house, mailwoman rapes me in lawn >Drive to work, woman pedestrian breaks into car during red light and rapes me >Get to office, woman receptionist rapes me >Finally get to desk, woman manager rapes me >8 continuous hours of being r---- >Finally drive back home, abducted by alien women >get r---- on their mothership, transported back home with car >Wife waits by door to r--- me >Softly cry in bed as wife and paralysis demon tag team rapes me Women have no idea how hard it is to be a man.
Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)09:16:16 No.60630730 ► >60631012 >>60634683 >>60637538 >>60641592 File: 1587918012595.jpg (63 KB, 640x605) >>60626198 (OP) >Wake up, wife rapes me >Go to bathroom, female neighbor crawls through window and rapes me >Go to kitchen, wife rapes me again >Get dressed for work, paralysis demon jumps out of the closet and rapes me >Leave house, mailwoman rapes me in lawn >Drive to work, woman pedestrian breaks into car during red light and rapes me >Get to office, woman receptionist rapes me >Finally get to desk, woman manager rapes me >8 continuous hours of being r---- >Finally drive back home, abducted by alien women >get r---- on their mothership, transported back home with car >Wife waits by door to r--- me >Softly cry in bed as wife and paralysis demon tag team rapes me Women have no idea how hard it is to be a man.

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Anon contemplates | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)16:32:04 No.62999841 whats the point of life? >born in small town >never have a car >never have friends >never have a dirtbike 75 KB JPG >never have a four wheeler >never have a motorcycle >no girls around >no people around >no stores around >nothing to do
Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)16:32:04 No.62999841 whats the point of life? >born in small town >never have a car >never have friends >never have a dirtbike 75 KB JPG >never have a four wheeler >never have a motorcycle >no girls around >no people around >no stores around >nothing to do

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)13:17:26 No.850986956 >be me 15 > mom treats me like s--- half the time other half she's gone >almost had a decent life >covid hits >stuck in house nothing to do 119 KB PNG >lose all social skills >lose all confidence and social skills >lose all abilities to take care of myself >always exhausted >feel like l'm wasting away at life not doing anything This was supposed to be my golden years. I was supposed to see friends and get gfs and do things. But since this f------ pandemic I got nothing to show but being f------ politically radicalize against the government
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)13:17:26 No.850986956 >be me 15 > mom treats me like s--- half the time other half she's gone >almost had a decent life >covid hits >stuck in house nothing to do 119 KB PNG >lose all social skills >lose all confidence and social skills >lose all abilities to take care of myself >always exhausted >feel like l'm wasting away at life not doing anything This was supposed to be my golden years. I was supposed to see friends and get gfs and do things. But since this f------ pandemic I got nothing to show but being f------ politically radicalize against the government

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous what the f--- mom 04/01/21(Thu)01:24:09 No.63003013 >be me >mom shows me funny image >ffw to today >want to see funny image again >look through moms phone for it >see video of her sucking her boyfriends c--- 315 KB PNG >mfw
: Anonymous what the f--- mom 04/01/21(Thu)01:24:09 No.63003013 >be me >mom shows me funny image >ffw to today >want to see funny image again >look through moms phone for it >see video of her sucking her boyfriends c--- 315 KB PNG >mfw

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there's cereal in the fridge, anon | /r/Greentext

File: 1340609784019.jpg-(22 KB, 262x209, mfwcereal.jpg) Anonymous 06/25/12(Mon)03:36:24 No.2879879 >Crash the night at a bros house >Wake up after a night of drinking >Feel like some breakfast >"Hey man, what have you got to eat?" >He murmurs back from the bedroom with his girlfriend >"There's cereal in the fridge." >Cereal in the fridge >Think this is a joke, check the fridge >There's cereal >There's cereal in the fridge >Walk to his bedroom and laugh at him and call him retarded >He gets all angry and mad with his girlfriend there >"Seriously, who the f--- keeps cereal in the fridge?" >"F--- you man, my girlfriend does it and it's how you f------ store cereal." >At this point I'm pretty annoyed >"Your girlfriend's a f------ idiot hahaha." >He flips out >He kicks me out of the house and hasn't talked to me for a week >Cereal in the fridge Seriously I shouldn't have to apologise for something so retarded and petty right? Keeping cereal in the fridge is f------ stupid. >mfw when he said there's cereal in the fridge
File: 1340609784019.jpg-(22 KB, 262x209, mfwcereal.jpg) Anonymous 06/25/12(Mon)03:36:24 No.2879879 >Crash the night at a bros house >Wake up after a night of drinking >Feel like some breakfast >"Hey man, what have you got to eat?" >He murmurs back from the bedroom with his girlfriend >"There's cereal in the fridge." >Cereal in the fridge >Think this is a joke, check the fridge >There's cereal >There's cereal in the fridge >Walk to his bedroom and laugh at him and call him retarded >He gets all angry and mad with his girlfriend there >"Seriously, who the f--- keeps cereal in the fridge?" >"F--- you man, my girlfriend does it and it's how you f------ store cereal." >At this point I'm pretty annoyed >"Your girlfriend's a f------ idiot hahaha." >He flips out >He kicks me out of the house and hasn't talked to me for a week >Cereal in the fridge Seriously I shouldn't have to apologise for something so retarded and petty right? Keeping cereal in the fridge is f------ stupid. >mfw when he said there's cereal in the fridge

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Anon checks out 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Never be the same 03/30/21(Tue)17:52:50 No.62985967 >Hear about this 4chan site from r/greentext >Type up 4chan into search bar >click link >Suddenly feel myself getting larger >Expanding >Look at fingers, they look like sausages >Start to weigh 600 pounds 168 KB JPG >My room starts to warp >10 jars of piss surface >Jar surfaces with Rainbow Dash from mlp filled to the brim with coom >Anime body pillow surfaces too >Look outside to take my mind off of this, dont want to see anything else >See black person >Suddenly yell at him and call him a dirty n----- >quickly place hand over mouth >He looks at me and runs off >return to bedroom >Yell for mom to make Tendies >"I have never said that before" | think to myself > Make my way to door, pain >Mom opens door >"Anon, whats going on in here?!" >Suddenly lose control over vocal chords >Yell at her to make me tendies while doing a chicken dance >Mom curses under breathe and tells me we have to go to doctor >Suddenly start REEing >lt's so loud >Unsheathe katana from fat rolls >Ohgodno >Decapitate mom >Roll onto back in my own c-- >Kill myself with katana >Thanks 4chan
: Anonymous Never be the same 03/30/21(Tue)17:52:50 No.62985967 >Hear about this 4chan site from r/greentext >Type up 4chan into search bar >click link >Suddenly feel myself getting larger >Expanding >Look at fingers, they look like sausages >Start to weigh 600 pounds 168 KB JPG >My room starts to warp >10 jars of piss surface >Jar surfaces with Rainbow Dash from mlp filled to the brim with coom >Anime body pillow surfaces too >Look outside to take my mind off of this, dont want to see anything else >See black person >Suddenly yell at him and call him a dirty n----- >quickly place hand over mouth >He looks at me and runs off >return to bedroom >Yell for mom to make Tendies >"I have never said that before" | think to myself > Make my way to door, pain >Mom opens door >"Anon, whats going on in here?!" >Suddenly lose control over vocal chords >Yell at her to make me tendies while doing a chicken dance >Mom curses under breathe and tells me we have to go to doctor >Suddenly start REEing >lt's so loud >Unsheathe katana from fat rolls >Ohgodno >Decapitate mom >Roll onto back in my own c-- >Kill myself with katana >Thanks 4chan

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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/16(Sat)08:43:49 No.676006002 >be swiping right on tinder >find semi attractive albeit slightly overweight match > give no f---, I'm on a dry spell >decide to meet at local eatery and bar >"I'll meet you at 630 anon" >see massive land whale walk by through window >ohjesusfuckitsher.jpeg >frantically think about running out the back in a blur of half drunken fury >decide to man the harpoon instead >"barkeep, 4 shots of tequila stat!" >get this look like "ok, you filthy drunk. It's 635, calm down" >immediately slam 4 shots right before seapig sits down >bartender realizes why I just did what I did >starts laughing uncontrollably and excuses himself to the back >take fatty mcthunderthighs back to her place for protected drunken sex >leave her place covered in shame glaze >return to local eatery next day where same bartender is working >favorite beer shoved in my face even before asking for it >bartender is laughing, knucks given and says "fat girls need love too, right?" dude ended up becoming one of my best friends. Went to fight in Afghanistan for the army. Killed by ied. I miss that f-----.
: Anonymous 03/26/16(Sat)08:43:49 No.676006002 >be swiping right on tinder >find semi attractive albeit slightly overweight match > give no f---, I'm on a dry spell >decide to meet at local eatery and bar >"I'll meet you at 630 anon" >see massive land whale walk by through window >ohjesusfuckitsher.jpeg >frantically think about running out the back in a blur of half drunken fury >decide to man the harpoon instead >"barkeep, 4 shots of tequila stat!" >get this look like "ok, you filthy drunk. It's 635, calm down" >immediately slam 4 shots right before seapig sits down >bartender realizes why I just did what I did >starts laughing uncontrollably and excuses himself to the back >take fatty mcthunderthighs back to her place for protected drunken sex >leave her place covered in shame glaze >return to local eatery next day where same bartender is working >favorite beer shoved in my face even before asking for it >bartender is laughing, knucks given and says "fat girls need love too, right?" dude ended up becoming one of my best friends. Went to fight in Afghanistan for the army. Killed by ied. I miss that f-----.

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Anon is in a loving relationship | /r/Greentext

>be me >find trap p--- because of this dumb site >download a gay hookup app to find one and get the urge off me >match with a short femme nerd >doesn't crossdress but girly as all hell 21 KB JPG >closeenough.jpeg >hookup two separate times >starts coming over for tv and games sometimes without sex >randomly brings food over from his s----- wageslave gig >asks to be my roommate so he can finally move out of his parents' house >we've become great buds and regularly have sex >mfw i'm in a loving gay relationship
>be me >find trap p--- because of this dumb site >download a gay hookup app to find one and get the urge off me >match with a short femme nerd >doesn't crossdress but girly as all hell 21 KB JPG >closeenough.jpeg >hookup two separate times >starts coming over for tv and games sometimes without sex >randomly brings food over from his s----- wageslave gig >asks to be my roommate so he can finally move out of his parents' house >we've become great buds and regularly have sex >mfw i'm in a loving gay relationship

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Say it ain’t so Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)13:05:37 No.850050574 >recruited priests and monks to be combat medics (sanitater) in ww2 >didn't recruit rabbis I don't want to cross conspiracy theory territory, but was it possible that Hitler was an anti-semite?
Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)13:05:37 No.850050574 >recruited priests and monks to be combat medics (sanitater) in ww2 >didn't recruit rabbis I don't want to cross conspiracy theory territory, but was it possible that Hitler was an anti-semite?

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