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Anon is not so smart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 32833873 57 min. ago >feel smart and above average as a kid >the years go by and realize I'm a p------------ and have no redeeming qualities 1 REPLY 1 IMAGE REPLY
Anonymous 32833873 57 min. ago >feel smart and above average as a kid >the years go by and realize I'm a p------------ and have no redeeming qualities 1 REPLY 1 IMAGE REPLY

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Anon is Sus | /r/Greentext

File: 1617078791087.png (56 KB, 235x229) O Anonymous (ID: NQPSIrB ) 03/30/21(Tue)15:27:04 No.12443132 »12443147 >>12443151 >>12443153 >Brother is visiting parents for easter same time as me >Brought his 9 year old son with him >Just keeps laughing and pointing at rectangles >Brother keeps looking awkward about it >Ask nephew whats so funny >"sus" >soos? >"SUS" >i dont know what you mean? >"a-amogus", starts laughing fit >feel like i'm looking at some new alien life form i repeat i dont get it >"AMOGUS! SUSI", starts slapping red coaster on the coffee table then looking at me like that explains everything >Do you mean that among us game? >"YES AMOGUS!" >but what does that have to do with laughing at rectangles? >"A. MO. GUS." >i see >Brother and share what can only be described as "a look" >later tells me "we got him checked and he doesn't appear to be on the spectrum but he and four other kids keep doing this at school and they are already on report for disrupting the whole class and they are threatening to hold him back a year"
File: 1617078791087.png (56 KB, 235x229) O Anonymous (ID: NQPSIrB ) 03/30/21(Tue)15:27:04 No.12443132 »12443147 >>12443151 >>12443153 >Brother is visiting parents for easter same time as me >Brought his 9 year old son with him >Just keeps laughing and pointing at rectangles >Brother keeps looking awkward about it >Ask nephew whats so funny >"sus" >soos? >"SUS" >i dont know what you mean? >"a-amogus", starts laughing fit >feel like i'm looking at some new alien life form i repeat i dont get it >"AMOGUS! SUSI", starts slapping red coaster on the coffee table then looking at me like that explains everything >Do you mean that among us game? >"YES AMOGUS!" >but what does that have to do with laughing at rectangles? >"A. MO. GUS." >i see >Brother and share what can only be described as "a look" >later tells me "we got him checked and he doesn't appear to be on the spectrum but he and four other kids keep doing this at school and they are already on report for disrupting the whole class and they are threatening to hold him back a year"

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Anon takes the Jogpill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Based and JogPilled 03/30/21(Tue)08:58:02 No.62977299 Take the jogpill anons, it will do wonders for your mental and physical health. >Be going on daily run >10k baybeeeeee better? Amogus 880 KB JPG >Decide to take different route I haven't taken before >Path ends out of the forest and I get a view down a straight road with cherry blossoms along the side, a full view of downtown below, and a the mountains behind that. >Unironically beautiful view >Gain newfound appreciation for my city >Genuinely happy for the rest of the week
: Anonymous Based and JogPilled 03/30/21(Tue)08:58:02 No.62977299 Take the jogpill anons, it will do wonders for your mental and physical health. >Be going on daily run >10k baybeeeeee better? Amogus 880 KB JPG >Decide to take different route I haven't taken before >Path ends out of the forest and I get a view down a straight road with cherry blossoms along the side, a full view of downtown below, and a the mountains behind that. >Unironically beautiful view >Gain newfound appreciation for my city >Genuinely happy for the rest of the week

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Anon is lied to | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)13:50:29 No.62979414 >be me >high as f--- (6'7"/201cm) >hear that girls like high guys >no female friend/gf for my entire life it's a lie bros 40 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)13:50:29 No.62979414 >be me >high as f--- (6'7"/201cm) >hear that girls like high guys >no female friend/gf for my entire life it's a lie bros 40 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon puts an end to his family tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)19:20:09 No.62968108 >Grandparents had 3 children by 20 >Mother met my father by 19 and was one year away from having my brother >21 and still haven't kissed a single 3 KB JPG person before This isn't fair bros. What happened?
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)19:20:09 No.62968108 >Grandparents had 3 children by 20 >Mother met my father by 19 and was one year away from having my brother >21 and still haven't kissed a single 3 KB JPG person before This isn't fair bros. What happened?

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Normie doesn't understand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)14:10:16 No.62968711 >be me >redditor >go on /rnk/ for funny greentexts >lts all racism >lts all f------ racism >mfw 29 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)14:10:16 No.62968711 >be me >redditor >go on /rnk/ for funny greentexts >lts all racism >lts all f------ racism >mfw 29 KB JPG

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

27m (3/30 8:51) · 62976684 O Re·0 Img · PNG · 377KB · (645 × 773) >be me >live in a small apartment with family >coomer >lockdowns start >can't beat my meat in my room >adapt >rub one out every time I take a s--- >fast forward 6 months >now everytime I smell s--- I get a r----------- >please help me guys I don't want to be a degenerate •..
27m (3/30 8:51) · 62976684 O Re·0 Img · PNG · 377KB · (645 × 773) >be me >live in a small apartment with family >coomer >lockdowns start >can't beat my meat in my room >adapt >rub one out every time I take a s--- >fast forward 6 months >now everytime I smell s--- I get a r----------- >please help me guys I don't want to be a degenerate •..

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Anon messed up big time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)22:58:50 No.62970818 >accidentally called gf 'mom' during sex 72 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)22:58:50 No.62970818 >accidentally called gf 'mom' during sex 72 KB JPG

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anon gets fucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)16:36:32 No.62975429 my one tinder hookup >swipe on cute 7/10 arthoe >instantly match >she messages me first then asks to hang out within like 6 messages at 11pm >im cautious and ask for her Snapchat 645 KB GIF thinking its some trap >see shes real and starts sending me nudes telling me to f--- her >get horny decide whats the worst that could happen >shes 19 still lives with her parents >she pleads for me to buy JUUL pods for on the way since shes too young to buy to them (tobacco age is 21, my age) >sure why not >go to her place, have to sneak in through the window, hang out listening to music and f------ about on Omegle. then I f--- her >leave >next day she asks to hook up again, agree. she tells me to buy JUUL pods again for her >realize shes only f------ me to get her nicotine fix >disgust.png >ask her if thats the only reason shes f------ me she says yeah and youre kinda cute >block her and cry this was back in October. f--- this gay earth bros... >>62975458 # : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)16:39:19 No.62975458 >>62975429 # At least you got to sex you f------ normie.
: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)16:36:32 No.62975429 my one tinder hookup >swipe on cute 7/10 arthoe >instantly match >she messages me first then asks to hang out within like 6 messages at 11pm >im cautious and ask for her Snapchat 645 KB GIF thinking its some trap >see shes real and starts sending me nudes telling me to f--- her >get horny decide whats the worst that could happen >shes 19 still lives with her parents >she pleads for me to buy JUUL pods for on the way since shes too young to buy to them (tobacco age is 21, my age) >sure why not >go to her place, have to sneak in through the window, hang out listening to music and f------ about on Omegle. then I f--- her >leave >next day she asks to hook up again, agree. she tells me to buy JUUL pods again for her >realize shes only f------ me to get her nicotine fix >disgust.png >ask her if thats the only reason shes f------ me she says yeah and youre kinda cute >block her and cry this was back in October. f--- this gay earth bros... >>62975458 # : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)16:39:19 No.62975458 >>62975429 # At least you got to sex you f------ normie.

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Anon's a rainmaker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)05:12:47 No.62972987 >be me >social outcast incel >browse 4chan 24/7 > mostly /b >check out and comment every n---- boobs post >fapping to all of it >one time this one n---- girl 7 KB JPG posts her discord >immedeatley open discord type in handle >hear her voice >sounds like an angel but that african accent bothers me >actually decide to talk with her >went pretty well >continue for weeks >she asks my picture >hesistant to send but you only get one chance in life >she actually likes my looks >happy.jpg >we get to know each other better by the minute >eventually ask her if I should visit her >she says yes >almost crying bc happy >buying flight tickets to africa >enter plane >long as flight from US with lots of turbulences >landing in heavy thunderstorm in rural airport >getting my luggage >leave airport >raining continues monsoon season >see her standing in the rain in front of airport >l bless the rains down in africa >gonna take some time to do the things we never had
: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)05:12:47 No.62972987 >be me >social outcast incel >browse 4chan 24/7 > mostly /b >check out and comment every n---- boobs post >fapping to all of it >one time this one n---- girl 7 KB JPG posts her discord >immedeatley open discord type in handle >hear her voice >sounds like an angel but that african accent bothers me >actually decide to talk with her >went pretty well >continue for weeks >she asks my picture >hesistant to send but you only get one chance in life >she actually likes my looks >happy.jpg >we get to know each other better by the minute >eventually ask her if I should visit her >she says yes >almost crying bc happy >buying flight tickets to africa >enter plane >long as flight from US with lots of turbulences >landing in heavy thunderstorm in rural airport >getting my luggage >leave airport >raining continues monsoon season >see her standing in the rain in front of airport >l bless the rains down in africa >gonna take some time to do the things we never had

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Get rich quick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/20(Thu)11:56:49 No.819094755 >be me >20 yo student >doing little computer repairs for money >get call from friend working at warehouse 648 KB PNG >"Anon, there is this huge pile of laptops that has to be thrown away. I asked my boss if I could take them and he said yes. They seem pretty recent, come and see them, maybe you can earn quite some money off it" >see pictures >lots of Thinkpad T440 >whynot.jpg >go to friend >inspect laptops >most of them have problems, but some work fine >load them on car >head back home >a------ jumps a red light and t-bones the back of my car >police comes sees dashcam footage and says this a------ was in fault >submit insurance compensation >maliciousidea.gif >put all 50 laptops into compensation mfw I receive 30000$ in compensation for mostly broken laptops 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/23/20(Thu)11:56:49 No.819094755 >be me >20 yo student >doing little computer repairs for money >get call from friend working at warehouse 648 KB PNG >"Anon, there is this huge pile of laptops that has to be thrown away. I asked my boss if I could take them and he said yes. They seem pretty recent, come and see them, maybe you can earn quite some money off it" >see pictures >lots of Thinkpad T440 >whynot.jpg >go to friend >inspect laptops >most of them have problems, but some work fine >load them on car >head back home >a------ jumps a red light and t-bones the back of my car >police comes sees dashcam footage and says this a------ was in fault >submit insurance compensation >maliciousidea.gif >put all 50 laptops into compensation mfw I receive 30000$ in compensation for mostly broken laptops 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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The Story of A 600lb Tendie Slayer | /r/Greentext


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ravioli wizard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)15:48:41 No.849117527 >be me >Halloween a few years back >Go as a mf wizard >Blue wizard hat w stars and moons n s--- >Blue snuggie i glued velvet stars and moons to >Gettin all the mires from the qts >"Wow anon i love ur costume" >"Thats such a creative costume" >Bitches tryna talk to me all night| >Commence festive holiday drinking >See a guy dressed as chef boyardee >Hes got a sack of chef boyardee raviolis >bet him 5 bucks i can chug an entire can of ravioli >He says hes only got 4 dollars >Crack the raviolis and chug like theres no tomorrow >No need to chew, theyre basically lil jello shots >All the females around are now officially disgusted >Disregard females, acquire a free meal and 4 dollarydoos >All the guys at the party now call my the ravioli wizard >>849120106 # >>849125934 #
: Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)15:48:41 No.849117527 >be me >Halloween a few years back >Go as a mf wizard >Blue wizard hat w stars and moons n s--- >Blue snuggie i glued velvet stars and moons to >Gettin all the mires from the qts >"Wow anon i love ur costume" >"Thats such a creative costume" >Bitches tryna talk to me all night| >Commence festive holiday drinking >See a guy dressed as chef boyardee >Hes got a sack of chef boyardee raviolis >bet him 5 bucks i can chug an entire can of ravioli >He says hes only got 4 dollars >Crack the raviolis and chug like theres no tomorrow >No need to chew, theyre basically lil jello shots >All the females around are now officially disgusted >Disregard females, acquire a free meal and 4 dollarydoos >All the guys at the party now call my the ravioli wizard >>849120106 # >>849125934 #

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Anon gets chased by cops | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)20:27:53 No.62966633 > Be me. > A few friends and I ignore corona and go pick up food. > One of friends asks if we can make a stop at his dealers place. > Okay. 212 KB PNG > Pull over, guy comes back with a garbage bag full of weed. > Okay > Driving to BK, windows open, blasting music, f--- rolling joints in the back of my car. > Stopping at traffic light. > Look in backmirror > SEE POLICE BUS > MADE EYECONTACT WITH DRIVER > mfw > Backfags are hiding their weed under my seat, everyone puts masks on. > Keep driving to BK, they follow us. > *PANIC* > Arrive at BK, can either go into drive through or park and go inside. > Decide to park outside, stay in car. > Policebus drives past us through the packed parking lot. > Back out fullspeed, drive through city with 80mp/h like a retard > get kebap Good times View Thread
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)20:27:53 No.62966633 > Be me. > A few friends and I ignore corona and go pick up food. > One of friends asks if we can make a stop at his dealers place. > Okay. 212 KB PNG > Pull over, guy comes back with a garbage bag full of weed. > Okay > Driving to BK, windows open, blasting music, f--- rolling joints in the back of my car. > Stopping at traffic light. > Look in backmirror > SEE POLICE BUS > MADE EYECONTACT WITH DRIVER > mfw > Backfags are hiding their weed under my seat, everyone puts masks on. > Keep driving to BK, they follow us. > *PANIC* > Arrive at BK, can either go into drive through or park and go inside. > Decide to park outside, stay in car. > Policebus drives past us through the packed parking lot. > Back out fullspeed, drive through city with 80mp/h like a retard > get kebap Good times View Thread

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Anon is paranoid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)21:07:08 No.62969350 >receive match from non-verified tinder cute girl >suspect she is my workmates tricking me >be extremely paranoid, always checking how many miles away Mehi 12 KB JPG she is >never give personal info, act like my workmates are reading it, even reject to meet >arrange a date, go there thinking my workmates are going to appear there >she ends up being real >"anon, you're strange, why did you need so much time to meet me, why didn't you talk about yourself and why are you so nervous?" What's the lesson to learn from this story?
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)21:07:08 No.62969350 >receive match from non-verified tinder cute girl >suspect she is my workmates tricking me >be extremely paranoid, always checking how many miles away Mehi 12 KB JPG she is >never give personal info, act like my workmates are reading it, even reject to meet >arrange a date, go there thinking my workmates are going to appear there >she ends up being real >"anon, you're strange, why did you need so much time to meet me, why didn't you talk about yourself and why are you so nervous?" What's the lesson to learn from this story?

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:07:25 No.62950365 The Virgin Chad >hire a h----- >tell her I'm a virgin >not actually a virgin, have had plenty of sex >but when she thinks it's my first time, she's very gentle and sensual, and I get to act nervous and submissive, which really turns 34 KB JPG me on >when I act all amazed when I touch boobs "for the first time", it actually feels more special to me >I love how caring she is and how she takes the lead if she thinks she's deflowering me >when I finish, she cuddles with me and calls me a good boy I've done this with about 20 different hookers now and I can't stop.
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:07:25 No.62950365 The Virgin Chad >hire a h----- >tell her I'm a virgin >not actually a virgin, have had plenty of sex >but when she thinks it's my first time, she's very gentle and sensual, and I get to act nervous and submissive, which really turns 34 KB JPG me on >when I act all amazed when I touch boobs "for the first time", it actually feels more special to me >I love how caring she is and how she takes the lead if she thinks she's deflowering me >when I finish, she cuddles with me and calls me a good boy I've done this with about 20 different hookers now and I can't stop.

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Anon has covid symptoms | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)09:23:56 No.850788628 >stay up all night playing bideo games and snacking >haven't slept 1 hour >text boss saying i have covid symptoms and i need to stay home, knowing they need me there >plan to snack and game all day, awaiting covid results suck it wagies
Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)09:23:56 No.850788628 >stay up all night playing bideo games and snacking >haven't slept 1 hour >text boss saying i have covid symptoms and i need to stay home, knowing they need me there >plan to snack and game all day, awaiting covid results suck it wagies

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Anon has a dilemma. | /r/Greentext

File: sb.jpg (48 KB, 468x556) Am I Loser Bros? Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:42:28 No.62969805 [Reply] >be me >go to college >had few gfs in hs but all were fat or at best 5/10 >go to college >girl who works at IT department at my university looks like pic related >get up the balls to start talking to her >start talking to her regularly >finnally get balls to ask her out >She says yes >WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTEWTEWTEWTFW TFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTEWTEWTFWTFWTFWTEWTE WTFWTFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTE.jpeg >Go out to dinner >Have best date in my life >Find out she's never had a bf before >>>conversation goes on >>>>>FIND OUT SHE HAS F------ BRAIN DAMANGE >try to keep my cool to the end of the night >>she kisses me when she leaves and says she wants to do go out again SOON w-- am i supposed to bros?? Wouldn't be like illegal if i f----- her???? Would it be moral? I dont know what to f------ do.
File: sb.jpg (48 KB, 468x556) Am I Loser Bros? Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:42:28 No.62969805 [Reply] >be me >go to college >had few gfs in hs but all were fat or at best 5/10 >go to college >girl who works at IT department at my university looks like pic related >get up the balls to start talking to her >start talking to her regularly >finnally get balls to ask her out >She says yes >WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTEWTEWTEWTFW TFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTEWTEWTFWTFWTFWTEWTE WTFWTFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTE.jpeg >Go out to dinner >Have best date in my life >Find out she's never had a bf before >>>conversation goes on >>>>>FIND OUT SHE HAS F------ BRAIN DAMANGE >try to keep my cool to the end of the night >>she kisses me when she leaves and says she wants to do go out again SOON w-- am i supposed to bros?? Wouldn't be like illegal if i f----- her???? Would it be moral? I dont know what to f------ do.

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Anon is a businessman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)00:58:43 No.62969630 How do I turn 50bucks into The last signs of life slip over the horizon 100bucks Finally, I am alone with my crimes, unrepentant. 76 KB JPG 16 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)02:33:38 No.62970868 flip stuff on ebay : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)03:15:32 No.62971523 >>62969630 (OP) # This is going to sound weird, but hear me out. >Buy 2 kg of Lego. >Sort Lego into its individual parts (I mean really sort it... Piece, colour, shape, just sort it thoroughly) >Sell on sorted Lego on Ebay You actually might make 200$ if you're lucky. Works for me at least.
: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)00:58:43 No.62969630 How do I turn 50bucks into The last signs of life slip over the horizon 100bucks Finally, I am alone with my crimes, unrepentant. 76 KB JPG 16 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)02:33:38 No.62970868 flip stuff on ebay : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)03:15:32 No.62971523 >>62969630 (OP) # This is going to sound weird, but hear me out. >Buy 2 kg of Lego. >Sort Lego into its individual parts (I mean really sort it... Piece, colour, shape, just sort it thoroughly) >Sell on sorted Lego on Ebay You actually might make 200$ if you're lucky. Works for me at least.

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Anon goes out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG

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