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Anon controls the market | /r/Greentext

03/24/21(Wed)12:15:01 No.31710569 bog.jpg 22 KB JPG >economy is recovering? >block the canal
03/24/21(Wed)12:15:01 No.31710569 bog.jpg 22 KB JPG >economy is recovering? >block the canal

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Anon is too late | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:39:59 No.62952175 Girl >have a crush, very popular girl >one day me and the boys at same swimming pool as girls group. >girl tells me my crush also has a crush on me >crush has a serious expression on 67 KB JPG her face she 99% means it >autism kicks in >say cool, walk away silently >lots of people saw it >years later >ask her out >she rejects with a smile Where did I go wrong bros..? : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:42:17 No.62952190 >>62952175 (OP) # >years later there it is >>62952202 #
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:39:59 No.62952175 Girl >have a crush, very popular girl >one day me and the boys at same swimming pool as girls group. >girl tells me my crush also has a crush on me >crush has a serious expression on 67 KB JPG her face she 99% means it >autism kicks in >say cool, walk away silently >lots of people saw it >years later >ask her out >she rejects with a smile Where did I go wrong bros..? : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:42:17 No.62952190 >>62952175 (OP) # >years later there it is >>62952202 #

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Piercing the simulacrum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)09:17:02 No.62951575 School >last day of school before 1 week holidays >get home, feeling great >have a fun weekend >first day of actual holidays, Monday >dad gets p----- at me for playing 68 KB PNG vidya >says school starts in a week and I have to study >holidays going to s--- really quickly I get the good intent my dad had but this is one of the things I hated the most in my childhood. Can anyone relate?
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)09:17:02 No.62951575 School >last day of school before 1 week holidays >get home, feeling great >have a fun weekend >first day of actual holidays, Monday >dad gets p----- at me for playing 68 KB PNG vidya >says school starts in a week and I have to study >holidays going to s--- really quickly I get the good intent my dad had but this is one of the things I hated the most in my childhood. Can anyone relate?

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Anon is envious of his neighbor | /r/Greentext

1614132247152.jpg| 6 KB JPG >go to check mail >notice neighbor is still lying face down on lawn He's been doing that for like 4 days now. Must be nice to f--- off on a weekday
1614132247152.jpg| 6 KB JPG >go to check mail >notice neighbor is still lying face down on lawn He's been doing that for like 4 days now. Must be nice to f--- off on a weekday

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

your Féel TO 1592964201459.jpg| 51 KB JPG >catfishing on dating website >qt girl messages me >'oh my god, Bon Jovi i love your music!" >ask her if she wants to meet at a nearby Denny's so i can sing to her >she agrees >tell her to wait at table 7 >go to Denny's >walk to table 7 >mfw it is another neckbeard who was catfishing >mfw i fisted him with a cat for catfishing me I just want to find true love /b/ros.
your Féel TO 1592964201459.jpg| 51 KB JPG >catfishing on dating website >qt girl messages me >'oh my god, Bon Jovi i love your music!" >ask her if she wants to meet at a nearby Denny's so i can sing to her >she agrees >tell her to wait at table 7 >go to Denny's >walk to table 7 >mfw it is another neckbeard who was catfishing >mfw i fisted him with a cat for catfishing me I just want to find true love /b/ros.

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Anon goes to cinema with dad | /r/Greentext

272d3f1985fbb13fd8701390f.).jpg (38 KB, 640x628) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:13:51 No.90452095 - >>90452267 >>90452385 >>90452451 >>90453024 >at cinema with dad >character says the word n----- >dad laughs out loud Anyone want to trade? B Anonymousv E O Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:15:34 No.90452144 v >>90452161 >>90452257 >>90452264 >>90452285 >>90452322 >>90452350 >>90452384 >>90452385 >>90452394 >>90452402 >>90452452 >>90452798 >>90452835 >>90452871 >>90453027 >>90453047 >>90453055 >>90453080 >>90453104 >at cinema with n----- >character says the word dad >n----- looks around in confusion
272d3f1985fbb13fd8701390f.).jpg (38 KB, 640x628) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:13:51 No.90452095 - >>90452267 >>90452385 >>90452451 >>90453024 >at cinema with dad >character says the word n----- >dad laughs out loud Anyone want to trade? B Anonymousv E O Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:15:34 No.90452144 v >>90452161 >>90452257 >>90452264 >>90452285 >>90452322 >>90452350 >>90452384 >>90452385 >>90452394 >>90452402 >>90452452 >>90452798 >>90452835 >>90452871 >>90453027 >>90453047 >>90453055 >>90453080 >>90453104 >at cinema with n----- >character says the word dad >n----- looks around in confusion

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Anon is at lunch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)10:00:03 No.850728037 >work night shift >on lunch break at 4 AM >sitting in dark parking lot in car with windows rolled down >hear footsteps approaching >see man appear from the darkness 112 KB GIF >he looks around >doesn't notice me >he pulls down his pants and starts taking a s--- >watching this guy taking a s--- while i eat my sandwich >he is struggling >constipated.jpg >i sneeze >he gets startled and looks at my direction >spotted.png >we look at each other for a minute >i break the awkward silence >'nice a------ bro' >'thanks' >'got any paper towels?' >hand him some napkins >quickly drive off i have to find another parking lot now, this one is tainted
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)10:00:03 No.850728037 >work night shift >on lunch break at 4 AM >sitting in dark parking lot in car with windows rolled down >hear footsteps approaching >see man appear from the darkness 112 KB GIF >he looks around >doesn't notice me >he pulls down his pants and starts taking a s--- >watching this guy taking a s--- while i eat my sandwich >he is struggling >constipated.jpg >i sneeze >he gets startled and looks at my direction >spotted.png >we look at each other for a minute >i break the awkward silence >'nice a------ bro' >'thanks' >'got any paper towels?' >hand him some napkins >quickly drive off i have to find another parking lot now, this one is tainted

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Anon learns to drink | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:42:02 No.850723772 >be me >drink soda >swallow soda >cough while swallowing soda >mouth opens automatically >spew out soda out of my throat and nose like a f------ watergun >can't fecking breathe 8 KB JPG >finish practically regurgitating soda >my nose can taste the sweet >try to back away and slip on the soda that I f------ regurgitated >worst experience in my life how was your day /b/ : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:43:16 No.850723846 Learn to drink, f--
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:42:02 No.850723772 >be me >drink soda >swallow soda >cough while swallowing soda >mouth opens automatically >spew out soda out of my throat and nose like a f------ watergun >can't fecking breathe 8 KB JPG >finish practically regurgitating soda >my nose can taste the sweet >try to back away and slip on the soda that I f------ regurgitated >worst experience in my life how was your day /b/ : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:43:16 No.850723846 Learn to drink, f--

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Anon regrets his behaviour | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The one that got away 03/28/21(Sun)06:48:46 No.62947867 >year 10 >smol girl sits next to me every lesson >find her really cute in a weird way, she is conventionally not that attractive, has acne and weak chin 92 KB JPG >help her with school work >calls me smart and strong, looks at me in a really adoring way >'cool' a------ friends I hang out with make fun of her and say 'haha she likes you xD' >'ew no, I don't like her.." If I could go back in time, I would tell my a------ 'friends' to go f--- themselves and hang out with her instead.
: Anonymous The one that got away 03/28/21(Sun)06:48:46 No.62947867 >year 10 >smol girl sits next to me every lesson >find her really cute in a weird way, she is conventionally not that attractive, has acne and weak chin 92 KB JPG >help her with school work >calls me smart and strong, looks at me in a really adoring way >'cool' a------ friends I hang out with make fun of her and say 'haha she likes you xD' >'ew no, I don't like her.." If I could go back in time, I would tell my a------ 'friends' to go f--- themselves and hang out with her instead.

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Anon is not tall | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)01:53:54 No.850520630 >short >like tall girls >tall girls like tall guys >try short girls >short girls also like tall guys guess i cant win
Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)01:53:54 No.850520630 >short >like tall girls >tall girls like tall guys >try short girls >short girls also like tall guys guess i cant win

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Anon has a Nephew | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)16:50:34 No.42685823 >"Uncle Anon, why aren't you married?" >"Mom says people only get married when they love each other, does that mean no one loves you?" >>42685878 # : Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)17:24:59 No.42685878 >>42685823 # f------ wish i had a nephew with such top quality banter >>42685953 #
: Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)16:50:34 No.42685823 >"Uncle Anon, why aren't you married?" >"Mom says people only get married when they love each other, does that mean no one loves you?" >>42685878 # : Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)17:24:59 No.42685878 >>42685823 # f------ wish i had a nephew with such top quality banter >>42685953 #

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Anon is a living sister | /r/Greentext


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/r9k/ on the forms of humor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:43:11 No.62945469 >entire sense of humor consists of pop culture references 7 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:47:35 No.62945532 >>62945501 # >entire sense of humor is scatological/fart humor 112 KB PNG >>62945606 # : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:50:09 No.62945561 >entire sense of humor consists of racist caricatures and hating on liberals 50 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:51:57 No.62945581 >entire sense of humor consists of self-deprecation and irony 5 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:54:49 No.62945606 >>62945532 # >entire sense of humor consists of sexual innuendos 50 KB JPG >>62945643 2# : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:58:09 No.62945643 >>62945606 # >entire sense of humor consists of strange noises and weird motions 163 KB PNG >>62945971 #
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:43:11 No.62945469 >entire sense of humor consists of pop culture references 7 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:47:35 No.62945532 >>62945501 # >entire sense of humor is scatological/fart humor 112 KB PNG >>62945606 # : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:50:09 No.62945561 >entire sense of humor consists of racist caricatures and hating on liberals 50 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:51:57 No.62945581 >entire sense of humor consists of self-deprecation and irony 5 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:54:49 No.62945606 >>62945532 # >entire sense of humor consists of sexual innuendos 50 KB JPG >>62945643 2# : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)01:58:09 No.62945643 >>62945606 # >entire sense of humor consists of strange noises and weird motions 163 KB PNG >>62945971 #

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anon is corageous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/20(Sat)06:38:45 No.835882362 Greentext's are dumb but f--- it. I have a story to tell >Me at college >Be at library. Looking for some books 394 KB PNG >See a girl sitting at a random table >She's f------ adorable. Dark hair, mesmerizing green eyes >not the most confided guy but think F--- it. l'll try >walk up to her and say a cheesy pick up line >doesn't respond >"Excuse me?" >She notices me and looks up at me >does something in sign language >Turns out she's deaf >excuse myself and turn around defeated. Way to embarrased to keep the conversation going >stop myself half way out the library >gather up all my courage and walk back >sit down next to her and write "You're cute. Want to go out?" On a sticky note >she reads it and looks at me >I smile like a dumbass while she looks me over >she eventually nods and scribbles her number on the note >her name is Alice >we go out that Friday >we have a great time >fast forward to a few months later >we're officially dating >learn sign language for her >getting pretty good at it >the first thing I learned to sign was "I love you" >Fast forward again to yesterday >Today is the day >Me, Her mom, brother and me are sitting in the doctor's office >they gradually turn up her implant >she starts crying because she hears her mom for the first time >I remain silent >her mom and brother and talking to her, crying all the while >eventually she looks at me >l move closer to he >tell her something I wanted to say from the day | met her in the library >"I love you. Please marry me" She said yes. I made the greatest day of her life just a little bit better. I love her so much 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 09/12/20(Sat)06:38:45 No.835882362 Greentext's are dumb but f--- it. I have a story to tell >Me at college >Be at library. Looking for some books 394 KB PNG >See a girl sitting at a random table >She's f------ adorable. Dark hair, mesmerizing green eyes >not the most confided guy but think F--- it. l'll try >walk up to her and say a cheesy pick up line >doesn't respond >"Excuse me?" >She notices me and looks up at me >does something in sign language >Turns out she's deaf >excuse myself and turn around defeated. Way to embarrased to keep the conversation going >stop myself half way out the library >gather up all my courage and walk back >sit down next to her and write "You're cute. Want to go out?" On a sticky note >she reads it and looks at me >I smile like a dumbass while she looks me over >she eventually nods and scribbles her number on the note >her name is Alice >we go out that Friday >we have a great time >fast forward to a few months later >we're officially dating >learn sign language for her >getting pretty good at it >the first thing I learned to sign was "I love you" >Fast forward again to yesterday >Today is the day >Me, Her mom, brother and me are sitting in the doctor's office >they gradually turn up her implant >she starts crying because she hears her mom for the first time >I remain silent >her mom and brother and talking to her, crying all the while >eventually she looks at me >l move closer to he >tell her something I wanted to say from the day | met her in the library >"I love you. Please marry me" She said yes. I made the greatest day of her life just a little bit better. I love her so much 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a bad day | /r/Greentext

1534336789128.png, 476KIB, 750x477 Anonymous Wed 03 Apr 2019 17:22:32 No.112369002 View >go to dentist >the assistant is a qt 3.14 >"hold up mr. anon, i have to get the brace to hold your mouth open" >"heh heh, no need ma'am!" >do pic related >she looks at me odd >"go ahead, start drilling!" >they have to gas me so i pass out cause i won't co-operate >wake up >ask for my toy >she tells me to leave >don't get a toy >on the way out see a f----- little boy with a cool little plastic water gun that could've been mine >become The Joker all it takes is one bad day
1534336789128.png, 476KIB, 750x477 Anonymous Wed 03 Apr 2019 17:22:32 No.112369002 View >go to dentist >the assistant is a qt 3.14 >"hold up mr. anon, i have to get the brace to hold your mouth open" >"heh heh, no need ma'am!" >do pic related >she looks at me odd >"go ahead, start drilling!" >they have to gas me so i pass out cause i won't co-operate >wake up >ask for my toy >she tells me to leave >don't get a toy >on the way out see a f----- little boy with a cool little plastic water gun that could've been mine >become The Joker all it takes is one bad day

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Anon gives advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)19:16:44 No.62937821 >go to school >do coursework >play vidya >go to sleep I was trapped in this cycle for years and years until I finally burnt out on vidya. If you aren't willing to spend some of your free time 22 KB JPG self improving, socializing etc. then you'll stay a depressed loser.
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)19:16:44 No.62937821 >go to school >do coursework >play vidya >go to sleep I was trapped in this cycle for years and years until I finally burnt out on vidya. If you aren't willing to spend some of your free time 22 KB JPG self improving, socializing etc. then you'll stay a depressed loser.

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Anon has a female friend | /r/Greentext

2h (3/27 12:40) · 850635545 44 Re · 3 Img · JPG · 6KB · (236 × 198) 19 Replies >at my favourite bar >female frend is there >she and her bf just broke up >she's drunk out of her mind >strokes my hair and hugs me a lot whilst we drink away >she asks me to go to her place >i say no because i feel like i would be exploiting her >we agree to meet up the next day >ff >she doesnt come >call her >no response >text her >no response >ff a week later >she has a new boyfriend now >wont even talk to me did i do good, anons? i feel like s--- ever since and i have no idea how to move forward.
2h (3/27 12:40) · 850635545 44 Re · 3 Img · JPG · 6KB · (236 × 198) 19 Replies >at my favourite bar >female frend is there >she and her bf just broke up >she's drunk out of her mind >strokes my hair and hugs me a lot whilst we drink away >she asks me to go to her place >i say no because i feel like i would be exploiting her >we agree to meet up the next day >ff >she doesnt come >call her >no response >text her >no response >ff a week later >she has a new boyfriend now >wont even talk to me did i do good, anons? i feel like s--- ever since and i have no idea how to move forward.

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Anon might be bi | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:52:25 No.19750008 >be straight guy >sometimes when I'm f------ a girl I space out and imagine l'm the one with a p---- getting f----- Is this normal or am I secretly bi or something? 717 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:53:50 No.19750024 sorry sir you're going to have to see a gender therapist and get on HRT immediately >>19750071 # : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:56:18 No.19750046 This has to be bait, right? >>19750071 #
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:52:25 No.19750008 >be straight guy >sometimes when I'm f------ a girl I space out and imagine l'm the one with a p---- getting f----- Is this normal or am I secretly bi or something? 717 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:53:50 No.19750024 sorry sir you're going to have to see a gender therapist and get on HRT immediately >>19750071 # : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:56:18 No.19750046 This has to be bait, right? >>19750071 #

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Anon sees a woman | /r/Greentext

File: 1601015323451.jpg (39 KB, 720x488) O Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)17:31:28 No.62940120 [Reply] >walking through town >girl smiles at me >scream in her face >laugh and walk away stupid bitch will never lead on another random guy again Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)17:32:37 No.62940137 yeah, you're clearly the winner in this scenario
File: 1601015323451.jpg (39 KB, 720x488) O Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)17:31:28 No.62940120 [Reply] >walking through town >girl smiles at me >scream in her face >laugh and walk away stupid bitch will never lead on another random guy again Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)17:32:37 No.62940137 yeah, you're clearly the winner in this scenario

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Anon joins a new hobby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/19(Fri)20:29:57 No.805596697 >Really like Warhammer 40K >Favourite Chapter Black Templar's >Decide to buy fall scale chapter flag to hang in rear windscreen of car 264 KB JPG >Driving to work.org >Hear sirens behind me >Pulled over to side of road >Police ask me why I am hanging Nazi flag in rear window >Try and explain its fictional and not Nazi and part of a hobby >Police don't believe me, confiscate flag, fine me £500.00 >Due to appear in Magistrates court 26th August for inciting racial hatred NO PITY, NO FEAR, NO REMORSE!
: Anonymous 07/26/19(Fri)20:29:57 No.805596697 >Really like Warhammer 40K >Favourite Chapter Black Templar's >Decide to buy fall scale chapter flag to hang in rear windscreen of car 264 KB JPG >Driving to work.org >Hear sirens behind me >Pulled over to side of road >Police ask me why I am hanging Nazi flag in rear window >Try and explain its fictional and not Nazi and part of a hobby >Police don't believe me, confiscate flag, fine me £500.00 >Due to appear in Magistrates court 26th August for inciting racial hatred NO PITY, NO FEAR, NO REMORSE!

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