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anon has a new classmate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/28/13(Sun)04.30 No.34718863 File: 1367137852031 png-(77 KB, 192x154, 1356913764910.png) >Be in 5th grade >We have to give speech on what we did over summer >New awkward fat kid in class, keeps to himself mostly, plays gameboy when we're at recess. >doesn't want to give speech, teacher says he has to >waddles to front of room, stutters a little >suddenly, s--- >he literally s---- his pants in front of the class and the smell is awful >runs out of class, doesn't have to do assignment >talk to him next day, claims he "tactically s--- himself" to avoid having to give his speech >mfw
Anonymous 04/28/13(Sun)04.30 No.34718863 File: 1367137852031 png-(77 KB, 192x154, 1356913764910.png) >Be in 5th grade >We have to give speech on what we did over summer >New awkward fat kid in class, keeps to himself mostly, plays gameboy when we're at recess. >doesn't want to give speech, teacher says he has to >waddles to front of room, stutters a little >suddenly, s--- >he literally s---- his pants in front of the class and the smell is awful >runs out of class, doesn't have to do assignment >talk to him next day, claims he "tactically s--- himself" to avoid having to give his speech >mfw

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Anon wants to become Alpha Male | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)02:21:04 No.23841926 How do I become alpha male 136 KB JPG 9 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)02:29:21 No.23841980 >>23841926 (OP)# >gym >eat right >save money >change your style >have confidence >>23841986 #
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)02:21:04 No.23841926 How do I become alpha male 136 KB JPG 9 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)02:29:21 No.23841980 >>23841926 (OP)# >gym >eat right >save money >change your style >have confidence >>23841986 #

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Anon is a stoner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)15:05:41 No.62927517 being a stoner makes me automatically better than you. when i smoke weed i can go outside, go on a bike ride, enjoy my hobbies, make music, hang out with friends, or anything 62 KB JPG gamers >piss in bottles >sit in a dark room for 10 hours at a time >yelling at a video game every day >doing virtual chores for nothing >end up quitting game all progress is gone and time is wasted >sit in a pile of dirty dishes all day /r9k/cels >sit in front of a computer all day >arguing and bitching all day back and forth >staring at p--- and smut all day >j------- 5 times a day >just stare at naked women all day while bitching about them >solving broken s----- captchas alll day
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)15:05:41 No.62927517 being a stoner makes me automatically better than you. when i smoke weed i can go outside, go on a bike ride, enjoy my hobbies, make music, hang out with friends, or anything 62 KB JPG gamers >piss in bottles >sit in a dark room for 10 hours at a time >yelling at a video game every day >doing virtual chores for nothing >end up quitting game all progress is gone and time is wasted >sit in a pile of dirty dishes all day /r9k/cels >sit in front of a computer all day >arguing and bitching all day back and forth >staring at p--- and smut all day >j------- 5 times a day >just stare at naked women all day while bitching about them >solving broken s----- captchas alll day

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Anon tries threesome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)10:56:26 No.62934236 >be me >birthday is coming up so gf asks what do I want >jokingly tell her a threesome >she said she noticed l've been bringing the subject a lot lately (which I have) and she's willing to do it if we do it with another guy 9 KB JPG first >not convinced but seems fair >she tells me which of her friends would be willing to do it, turns out is her hottest friend >instantyes.jpg >tell her she can choose whatever guy >one of her coworkers (that I thought was gay) shows up >f----- is taller than me and actually fit >start to regret it but remember I'm still gonna get my threesome >guy pulls out his package and its a goddamn 9 incher >not that Im that small but its still a f------ 9 incher >worry my gf will get touched deeper than she has been touched before and she wouldnt want my c--- anymore >remember why I'm doing this >decide to get on top of her and stall so he doesn't get a chance fuckes gets on top of my back >w--.exe >feel his c--- enter my f------ anus >let out a painful scream >im sandwiched between them so can't get out >realize what's going on >she's doing this as revenge for suggesting a threesome, doesn't matter, if I finish she has to fulfill her part of the deal >hold back my tears, finish quickly and let him have her (turns out he's bi) >ass hurts a lot for the next few days and can't look her in the eye >days later it's finally my birthday >bitches basically had a live lesbian session in front of my and didn't get to f--- her friend bros, it's not like the p--- videos, im seriously consideraing breaking up with her and never trying this s--- again my ass still f------ hurts when i poop 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)10:56:26 No.62934236 >be me >birthday is coming up so gf asks what do I want >jokingly tell her a threesome >she said she noticed l've been bringing the subject a lot lately (which I have) and she's willing to do it if we do it with another guy 9 KB JPG first >not convinced but seems fair >she tells me which of her friends would be willing to do it, turns out is her hottest friend >instantyes.jpg >tell her she can choose whatever guy >one of her coworkers (that I thought was gay) shows up >f----- is taller than me and actually fit >start to regret it but remember I'm still gonna get my threesome >guy pulls out his package and its a goddamn 9 incher >not that Im that small but its still a f------ 9 incher >worry my gf will get touched deeper than she has been touched before and she wouldnt want my c--- anymore >remember why I'm doing this >decide to get on top of her and stall so he doesn't get a chance fuckes gets on top of my back >w--.exe >feel his c--- enter my f------ anus >let out a painful scream >im sandwiched between them so can't get out >realize what's going on >she's doing this as revenge for suggesting a threesome, doesn't matter, if I finish she has to fulfill her part of the deal >hold back my tears, finish quickly and let him have her (turns out he's bi) >ass hurts a lot for the next few days and can't look her in the eye >days later it's finally my birthday >bitches basically had a live lesbian session in front of my and didn't get to f--- her friend bros, it's not like the p--- videos, im seriously consideraing breaking up with her and never trying this s--- again my ass still f------ hurts when i poop 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Pretty much sums up /b/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:28:38 No.850628048 >go to /b/ >see indian kid get crushed by an elevator >close /b/ 49 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:28:38 No.850628048 >go to /b/ >see indian kid get crushed by an elevator >close /b/ 49 KB PNG

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)07:11:37 No.62934672 >Step one: Break into the Pro Bass Mecca >Step two: Fortify the place >Step three: Hoist our flag on top >Step four: Use the Hard Rock Cafe on top as a sniper tower >Step five: Wait for the feds to 29 KB JPG arrive >Step six: fight a 2 week long siege and win due to the fact we put live fish in the artificial ponds and used them as food >Step seven: We win and are able to declare ourselves as a independent nation
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)07:11:37 No.62934672 >Step one: Break into the Pro Bass Mecca >Step two: Fortify the place >Step three: Hoist our flag on top >Step four: Use the Hard Rock Cafe on top as a sniper tower >Step five: Wait for the feds to 29 KB JPG arrive >Step six: fight a 2 week long siege and win due to the fact we put live fish in the artificial ponds and used them as food >Step seven: We win and are able to declare ourselves as a independent nation

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Anon wants to play a game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps 01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free 14 KB JPG >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb 10 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps 01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free 14 KB JPG >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb 10 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon works at Bosnia | /r/Greentext

File: D4EAE299-CC39-44F8-BD9B-4(...).jpg (11 KB, 281x281) O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:27:38 No.850553880 [Reply] >be me >from south korea >get a job in Bosnia for a few years >country is poor, but beautiful >most people are nice >best food ever >only white people tho >whenever i tell someone im from korea 50% of them ask me how i escaped + 18 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)07:57:16 No.850557330 File: jusuf-nurkic-return-trail(.). jpg (115 KB, 1600x900) >>850557169 looks pretty damn white to me
File: D4EAE299-CC39-44F8-BD9B-4(...).jpg (11 KB, 281x281) O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:27:38 No.850553880 [Reply] >be me >from south korea >get a job in Bosnia for a few years >country is poor, but beautiful >most people are nice >best food ever >only white people tho >whenever i tell someone im from korea 50% of them ask me how i escaped + 18 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)07:57:16 No.850557330 File: jusuf-nurkic-return-trail(.). jpg (115 KB, 1600x900) >>850557169 looks pretty damn white to me

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Anon goes to a resturant | /r/Greentext


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Anon get rejected and other anon gave an advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:06:20 No.23827313 Finally gained the confidence to ask out the cute girl at the bank and she said no 32 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)10:47:19 No.23829006 Go back tomorrow and say >l know you said no, but after thinking about it I realized you made a huge mistake >l'm willing to forgive you if you go out with me 128 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:06:20 No.23827313 Finally gained the confidence to ask out the cute girl at the bank and she said no 32 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)10:47:19 No.23829006 Go back tomorrow and say >l know you said no, but after thinking about it I realized you made a huge mistake >l'm willing to forgive you if you go out with me 128 KB JPG

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Anon is a redditfag | /r/Greentext

File: pepesad png (11 KB, 194x259) O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)13:41:33 No.850556745 >be me >redditfag >go on rigreentext "what is 4chan?" >go on 4chan /b/ >what the f--- is this website >mental breakdown >how did i end up here O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)13:44:18 No.850556855 File: bouncing_reddit gif (454 KB, 384x400) >>850556745 (OP) Go back
File: pepesad png (11 KB, 194x259) O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)13:41:33 No.850556745 >be me >redditfag >go on rigreentext "what is 4chan?" >go on 4chan /b/ >what the f--- is this website >mental breakdown >how did i end up here O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)13:44:18 No.850556855 File: bouncing_reddit gif (454 KB, 384x400) >>850556745 (OP) Go back

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Anon is a robot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)23:47:04 No.62918454 >walking down the street walking to wagecuck job >probably about 5 minutes away >looked up from my phone and saw a 10/10 muslim girl, holy f--- i havent seen someone this pretty in a very long time >ask her if she wants to get a drink after 9 KB JPG work >"sorry i dont drink, im muslim" i f------ knew this too, why am i like this?
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)23:47:04 No.62918454 >walking down the street walking to wagecuck job >probably about 5 minutes away >looked up from my phone and saw a 10/10 muslim girl, holy f--- i havent seen someone this pretty in a very long time >ask her if she wants to get a drink after 9 KB JPG work >"sorry i dont drink, im muslim" i f------ knew this too, why am i like this?

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Anon likes chocolate milk | /r/Greentext

me.jpg 92 KB JPG >drink chocolate milk >explosive diarrhoea til the wee hours of the morning >wake up next day >drink more chocolate milk "medically diagnosed lactose intolerance" is p-----speak for "can't handle the world God graced you with"
me.jpg 92 KB JPG >drink chocolate milk >explosive diarrhoea til the wee hours of the morning >wake up next day >drink more chocolate milk "medically diagnosed lactose intolerance" is p-----speak for "can't handle the world God graced you with"

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Anon is a smart retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5LNU3RNK ) 06/22/19(Sat)10:34:49 No.217104587 >>217101455 (OP) # >neighbor puts house up for sale >grow out grass and throw trash on the lawn >buy a s----- car, leave it on blocks in the driveway 81 KB JPG >buy neighbor's house for a steal >cut grass, clean up trash, scrap car >sell neighbor's house >mfw 40% profit
: Anonymous (ID: 5LNU3RNK ) 06/22/19(Sat)10:34:49 No.217104587 >>217101455 (OP) # >neighbor puts house up for sale >grow out grass and throw trash on the lawn >buy a s----- car, leave it on blocks in the driveway 81 KB JPG >buy neighbor's house for a steal >cut grass, clean up trash, scrap car >sell neighbor's house >mfw 40% profit

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Plagiarism is Great | /r/Greentext

File: Screen Shot 2021-03-26 at(...).png (75 KB, 176x286) Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)15:19:09 No.850578047 ► >>Be you. >>Stupid Plagiarizer. >"The dog goes woof, the cat meows" >That's the sentence you plagiarized. »Smarty pants Professor google searched it. >>finds exact sentence. >>time for a whipping. >You will 100% get an F on the assignment. >You might even get suspended or expelled! >>Life goes on. >Graduate from college working as... >Doctor, Lawyer, Banker, Engineer etc. >Everyday you Plagiarize. >>Life saving techniques, Trading Algorithms, stack overflow code.. >Big PayDay, everyone loves you, you make millions. These f------ Professors only gave a rat's ass for one reason: Defending themselves. If it was fine to plagiarize how would they be able to charge you 200$ per textbook!? How would Mr. Professor validate themselves if profA and profB weren't forced to site them every time they so much as sniffer Mr. Professors idea/paper Guess what professors: plagiarism is f------ great. The worst thing that happens in the real world is you get a fine The best thing that happens is you save/improve lives and make millions Moral of the story: f--- self centered asshats who try to "own" sentences or ideas.
File: Screen Shot 2021-03-26 at(...).png (75 KB, 176x286) Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)15:19:09 No.850578047 ► >>Be you. >>Stupid Plagiarizer. >"The dog goes woof, the cat meows" >That's the sentence you plagiarized. »Smarty pants Professor google searched it. >>finds exact sentence. >>time for a whipping. >You will 100% get an F on the assignment. >You might even get suspended or expelled! >>Life goes on. >Graduate from college working as... >Doctor, Lawyer, Banker, Engineer etc. >Everyday you Plagiarize. >>Life saving techniques, Trading Algorithms, stack overflow code.. >Big PayDay, everyone loves you, you make millions. These f------ Professors only gave a rat's ass for one reason: Defending themselves. If it was fine to plagiarize how would they be able to charge you 200$ per textbook!? How would Mr. Professor validate themselves if profA and profB weren't forced to site them every time they so much as sniffer Mr. Professors idea/paper Guess what professors: plagiarism is f------ great. The worst thing that happens in the real world is you get a fine The best thing that happens is you save/improve lives and make millions Moral of the story: f--- self centered asshats who try to "own" sentences or ideas.

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anon was constipated | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)19:40:46 No.850496015 ► >>850496787 >>850496887 >>850496950 >>850497255 >>850497293 >>85 >>850495521 (OP) I once sharted while f------ my gf in highschool It was a silent shart, but there was s--- all over my a------ leaking out onto the bed we were on. >Im f------ her, giving nervous glances behind my back every chance I get. >Each time I look back there is more s--- smeared all over her bed. >l am unsure of how to get out of this situation >Just keep f------ her >coom deep in c--- >lay back after I am done, covering all of my shart debris from her eyes >while simultaneously covering my self in s--- >we cuddle >She eventually gets up to go to the bathroom >NOWS MY CHANCE >rip off the top blanket, thankfully the one that took all the damage >clean my a------ with it >clean my s--- covered back with it >throw it out the f------ 2nd story window >act like nothing every happened 10 years later were married and she still has no idea. We even have the same blanket(it cleaned up surprisingly well)
Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)19:40:46 No.850496015 ► >>850496787 >>850496887 >>850496950 >>850497255 >>850497293 >>85 >>850495521 (OP) I once sharted while f------ my gf in highschool It was a silent shart, but there was s--- all over my a------ leaking out onto the bed we were on. >Im f------ her, giving nervous glances behind my back every chance I get. >Each time I look back there is more s--- smeared all over her bed. >l am unsure of how to get out of this situation >Just keep f------ her >coom deep in c--- >lay back after I am done, covering all of my shart debris from her eyes >while simultaneously covering my self in s--- >we cuddle >She eventually gets up to go to the bathroom >NOWS MY CHANCE >rip off the top blanket, thankfully the one that took all the damage >clean my a------ with it >clean my s--- covered back with it >throw it out the f------ 2nd story window >act like nothing every happened 10 years later were married and she still has no idea. We even have the same blanket(it cleaned up surprisingly well)

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anon is a criminal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/19(Tue)15:20:42 No.815935798 >be me >commit jaywalking several times >commit online piracy more times than I can count >never been caught fear me mortals, your laws do not shackle me 84 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/10/19(Tue)15:20:42 No.815935798 >be me >commit jaywalking several times >commit online piracy more times than I can count >never been caught fear me mortals, your laws do not shackle me 84 KB JPG

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Anon is furry Artist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 47758382 >Be furry artist >Make about 250 dollars each commission and it takes me 3 days to do one. >Patreon is getting me over 4k a month just to post my commissions there. >Not even that well known yet. >Vommit about 5-6 times while making each commission because I find furries f------ disgusting. >Get some really f------ disgusting commissions like tigers s------- on the heads of wolf men while a horse masturbates in the corner. Charged over 500 dollars for that and the guy actually f------ paid upfront. >If I do regular art I won't even make a 1/5 of what I am currently making. >Can't handle real jobs I hate my life. 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 1 hour ago 47758382 >Be furry artist >Make about 250 dollars each commission and it takes me 3 days to do one. >Patreon is getting me over 4k a month just to post my commissions there. >Not even that well known yet. >Vommit about 5-6 times while making each commission because I find furries f------ disgusting. >Get some really f------ disgusting commissions like tigers s------- on the heads of wolf men while a horse masturbates in the corner. Charged over 500 dollars for that and the guy actually f------ paid upfront. >If I do regular art I won't even make a 1/5 of what I am currently making. >Can't handle real jobs I hate my life. 2 REPLIES

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Anon thinks about swiss cheese | /r/Greentext

No. 850593310 27 minutes ago cheese w--.jfif.jpg JPG 10.4 KiB 309x163 >Swiss cheese has holes in it >the more cheese, the more holes >the more holes, the less cheese >the more cheese, the less cheese •..
No. 850593310 27 minutes ago cheese w--.jfif.jpg JPG 10.4 KiB 309x163 >Swiss cheese has holes in it >the more cheese, the more holes >the more holes, the less cheese >the more cheese, the less cheese •..

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Anon is an addict | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 minutes ago 850578119 >be me >be 16 >be massive hypochondriac >convince myself I have brain cancer >have anxiety attack lasting 3 days >go to doctor >they give me benzos >mfw
Anonymous 6 minutes ago 850578119 >be me >be 16 >be massive hypochondriac >convince myself I have brain cancer >have anxiety attack lasting 3 days >go to doctor >they give me benzos >mfw

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