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Anon gets Mahjonged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)01:41:05 No.62815030 >talk with this girl on discord >we met on a /r9k/ thread >we message each other a lot over the next couple of days >starting to open up to her more >sister has to go to the hospital, so I help my parents watch her kids >didn't have much time to chat on discord I HAVE GIVEN 42 KB JPG (nephews grab my phone every chance they get), let her know why >she acts concerned and tells me its cool >l was ghosted before, so I didn't want her to think that I wasn't interested in her anymore >four days later, finally have free time, message her >no response >no big deal, maybe she's busy with work >two days later, send her another message >"hey, hadn't heard from you in a while, you doing good?" >no response >hear back from her >tells me she wants to meet at the park >go there, see no one there >get hit from behind and knocked to the ground >turn around, culprit is an elderly Chinese man >ohfuckno.jpg >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat him or he will banish me to the land of the Yi (the term for barbarians) forever
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)01:41:05 No.62815030 >talk with this girl on discord >we met on a /r9k/ thread >we message each other a lot over the next couple of days >starting to open up to her more >sister has to go to the hospital, so I help my parents watch her kids >didn't have much time to chat on discord I HAVE GIVEN 42 KB JPG (nephews grab my phone every chance they get), let her know why >she acts concerned and tells me its cool >l was ghosted before, so I didn't want her to think that I wasn't interested in her anymore >four days later, finally have free time, message her >no response >no big deal, maybe she's busy with work >two days later, send her another message >"hey, hadn't heard from you in a while, you doing good?" >no response >hear back from her >tells me she wants to meet at the park >go there, see no one there >get hit from behind and knocked to the ground >turn around, culprit is an elderly Chinese man >ohfuckno.jpg >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat him or he will banish me to the land of the Yi (the term for barbarians) forever

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Anon has Layers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/13(Thu)23:48 No.183046917 ! File: 1364528896218.jpg-(4 KB, 150x156, 135405779949.jpg) >Today's the big day. I'll be getting my driver's license if I pass my driving test. >At the DMV, waiting in my car for the driving instructor to come. >Listening to Smash Mouth CD. >Driving instructor comes in, turns off the cd player saying l'm not allowed to listen to music while doing the driving test. >l tell her I have to be listening to Smash Mouth because it's my lucky charm. >She doesn't give a f---, doesn't let me turn it back on. >Start driving test >Making a lot of f------ mistakes, my heart is pounding because I don't want to fail >Time to parallel park >Look in my rear view mirror >See two green ears >Smell onions >Hear "I'm a Believer" start to play even though I didn't turn on the CD player >Driving instructor gives me a look, begins to write that I've failed the driving test on her clipboard >Suddenly a large green hand yanks the clipboards from her grip >A deep Sottish accent says "This test is now ogre" >l get an erection >Shrek gets out of the car, grabs the driving instructor and begins to beat her with an onion >Shrek runs off into the distance >some time passes, I drive the bitch back to the DMV >l ended up passing my test and now I'm a school bus driver.
Anonymous 03/28/13(Thu)23:48 No.183046917 ! File: 1364528896218.jpg-(4 KB, 150x156, 135405779949.jpg) >Today's the big day. I'll be getting my driver's license if I pass my driving test. >At the DMV, waiting in my car for the driving instructor to come. >Listening to Smash Mouth CD. >Driving instructor comes in, turns off the cd player saying l'm not allowed to listen to music while doing the driving test. >l tell her I have to be listening to Smash Mouth because it's my lucky charm. >She doesn't give a f---, doesn't let me turn it back on. >Start driving test >Making a lot of f------ mistakes, my heart is pounding because I don't want to fail >Time to parallel park >Look in my rear view mirror >See two green ears >Smell onions >Hear "I'm a Believer" start to play even though I didn't turn on the CD player >Driving instructor gives me a look, begins to write that I've failed the driving test on her clipboard >Suddenly a large green hand yanks the clipboards from her grip >A deep Sottish accent says "This test is now ogre" >l get an erection >Shrek gets out of the car, grabs the driving instructor and begins to beat her with an onion >Shrek runs off into the distance >some time passes, I drive the bitch back to the DMV >l ended up passing my test and now I'm a school bus driver.

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Anon is a joo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)05:28:46 No.62814426 >be me >look at myself in the mirror >i notice i have a hook nose >my parents dont >i ask my dad about it >you are old enough to be told the truth anon. you are adopted. your 96 KB JPG parents were jewish and died when you were a month old. >im a joo >first think i do is ask dad where the shekels are and how i can now contribute to the judas plan >dad tells me the judas plan isnt real >no shekels for me
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)05:28:46 No.62814426 >be me >look at myself in the mirror >i notice i have a hook nose >my parents dont >i ask my dad about it >you are old enough to be told the truth anon. you are adopted. your 96 KB JPG parents were jewish and died when you were a month old. >im a joo >first think i do is ask dad where the shekels are and how i can now contribute to the judas plan >dad tells me the judas plan isnt real >no shekels for me

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Anon works in a foundry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SOBGN6J+ 03/19/21(Fri)09:29:03 No.31347220 >work in foundry >only good paying job left in town >half of the shift is in cooling station because molten metal is so hot >union head gets dummy son job as foreman >he's nearly killed people breaking safety rules >he tries to rush an important job and didn't heat steel enough to form properly >this needs to be fixed ASAP >but we're out of the fancy coal that burns hot enough >foreman says he's got this >comes back 45 minutes later >borrowed kerosene truck from friend at airport >puts that on the air intake line in the furnace >runs it until the tank is empty >didn't melt the ingots at all >we're still f----- >but dummy foreman learned something important >jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams >>31347266 # >>31347337 # >>31347672 # >>31347916 # >>31348226 # >>31349445 #
: Anonymous (ID: SOBGN6J+ 03/19/21(Fri)09:29:03 No.31347220 >work in foundry >only good paying job left in town >half of the shift is in cooling station because molten metal is so hot >union head gets dummy son job as foreman >he's nearly killed people breaking safety rules >he tries to rush an important job and didn't heat steel enough to form properly >this needs to be fixed ASAP >but we're out of the fancy coal that burns hot enough >foreman says he's got this >comes back 45 minutes later >borrowed kerosene truck from friend at airport >puts that on the air intake line in the furnace >runs it until the tank is empty >didn't melt the ingots at all >we're still f----- >but dummy foreman learned something important >jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams >>31347266 # >>31347337 # >>31347672 # >>31347916 # >>31348226 # >>31349445 #

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We can trust anon | /r/Greentext

>The scientific/medical community is compromised >Academia is pozzed >Trust me I just know these things, even though l'm a rural hick living in my mom's trailer and barely got my GED
>The scientific/medical community is compromised >Academia is pozzed >Trust me I just know these things, even though l'm a rural hick living in my mom's trailer and barely got my GED

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Anon is good at greentexts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)21:29:25 No.849935933 >be me >reddit f-- >get PM from poplar dude on subreddit greentexts >mess around in dms >write fake greentext cuz why not >tells me l'm good at it >feelsgoodman.jpg| 8 KB JPG >wait >if I'm good at writing greentext than I have retard syndrome mfw I'm told i should go post on 4chan
: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)21:29:25 No.849935933 >be me >reddit f-- >get PM from poplar dude on subreddit greentexts >mess around in dms >write fake greentext cuz why not >tells me l'm good at it >feelsgoodman.jpg| 8 KB JPG >wait >if I'm good at writing greentext than I have retard syndrome mfw I'm told i should go post on 4chan

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Anon is a Sexual Predator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)17:53:05 No.46362460 I f----- everything up, robots. I think I might kms now >Cousin (female) staysat my home for a few days >Last night she stayed, be horny af 70 KB JPG >We slept in the same bed >Groped her while she was asleep >Everything is cool next day >A few hours after she left >"Anon, we gotta talk" >"What you did to me in the morning, never do it again" >fuckfuckfuck >Try to act like idkwtf she's talking about >Leaves me on seen What can I do anons? Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)17:53:05 No.46362460 I f----- everything up, robots. I think I might kms now >Cousin (female) staysat my home for a few days >Last night she stayed, be horny af 70 KB JPG >We slept in the same bed >Groped her while she was asleep >Everything is cool next day >A few hours after she left >"Anon, we gotta talk" >"What you did to me in the morning, never do it again" >fuckfuckfuck >Try to act like idkwtf she's talking about >Leaves me on seen What can I do anons? Pic unrelated

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Anon likes tendies tuesdays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)23:36:10 No.849927462 >Tendies Tuesday >be me 500 pound mommy's special boy >wake up after a long night of hentai binge watching to the smell of those delicious treats imstarving.wav >wiggle myself out of bed only knocking 1 piss bottle 225 КВ PNG >bed leg cracks and breaks from all the Good Boy Points that I carry >try to find the least full piss bottle >start pissing but it gets full and starts falling on the ground idgaf.jpg >clean my piss with my sister's panties that ive been c------ to for a year now >scream "TENDIES TUESDAY" over and over again as i slide myself down the stairs >kitchen is near >i can feel the tendies near >take my deserved breaks after walking two steps >trip on the carpet and fall through the hardfloor onto the basement >clear the debris off me >this is not keeping this good boy from his tendies >manage to get myself up after trying for 20 minutes >climb the basement stairs while sweating all the mountain dew from my body >kick the door screaming "MOMMY WHERE ARE MY TENDIES?" >bitch doesn't answer REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.mp3 >manage to get to the kitchen after 1 hour >see a paper note from mommy saying goodbye next to a plate of the beloved tendies >feast my tendies like a vaccum in 2 seconds >see mommy sleeping in the tub with a bunch of skittles all over the floor >let her sleep for 3 days so i can get more Good Boy Points for more tendies
: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)23:36:10 No.849927462 >Tendies Tuesday >be me 500 pound mommy's special boy >wake up after a long night of hentai binge watching to the smell of those delicious treats imstarving.wav >wiggle myself out of bed only knocking 1 piss bottle 225 КВ PNG >bed leg cracks and breaks from all the Good Boy Points that I carry >try to find the least full piss bottle >start pissing but it gets full and starts falling on the ground idgaf.jpg >clean my piss with my sister's panties that ive been c------ to for a year now >scream "TENDIES TUESDAY" over and over again as i slide myself down the stairs >kitchen is near >i can feel the tendies near >take my deserved breaks after walking two steps >trip on the carpet and fall through the hardfloor onto the basement >clear the debris off me >this is not keeping this good boy from his tendies >manage to get myself up after trying for 20 minutes >climb the basement stairs while sweating all the mountain dew from my body >kick the door screaming "MOMMY WHERE ARE MY TENDIES?" >bitch doesn't answer REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.mp3 >manage to get to the kitchen after 1 hour >see a paper note from mommy saying goodbye next to a plate of the beloved tendies >feast my tendies like a vaccum in 2 seconds >see mommy sleeping in the tub with a bunch of skittles all over the floor >let her sleep for 3 days so i can get more Good Boy Points for more tendies

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Anon enjoys Daft Punk | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:43:37 No.62813231 File: Daft-Punk-2013-portrait-b(.).jpg (345 KB, 1548x1024) >>62812447 >around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world
O Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:43:37 No.62813231 File: Daft-Punk-2013-portrait-b(.).jpg (345 KB, 1548x1024) >>62812447 >around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world

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Anon is Rain Man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)21:00:56 No.62814125 >be me >In uni >Have autism, school knows about it but most professors I have don't >Have to take some class i don't want because dumb school requirements >One day towards the start of the quarter the professor was sitting at his computer and asks a math question (this wasn't a 131 KB PNG math class) >Pretty good at doing math in my head and I'm a math minor >Respond quickly >Checks answer and says I'm right, asks how i did it >Just say l'm good at math >Asks random simple questions, get them all right >"You must be really good with numbers anon" Yeahiguess.jpg >"Can you count cards" >"Yeah" (i actually don't know anything about card games, i just wanted to sound cool) >Maybe we should go to the casino some time Rain man >think nothing of it >Next class i show up to, professor calls me Rain man when I raise my hand to answer a question >All throughout the term he keeps calling me Rain man, even adresses me in emails as Rain man >Never have an issue with it >End of the term comes, have to do some project >I turn my rough draft in a bit later than other students, professor and teachers aids either spoke to students in class as to how they could improve their project or email them with instructions >Professor never gives me any advice on mine >Send him an email asking what I can do better >Says he's too busy to give any more critique >Call him out saying that it's unfair that other students got ten plus minute conversations on how to improve their work while I can't get any general advice, tells me life isn't fair >Get an 80 on my final >First B in college career >Absolutely furious >Contact school administration >Send pictures of various emails when he called me Rain man >Tell administration that I had no idea what Rainman meant until now, and that I feel incredibly hurt as a student with disabilities >Have a meeting with school admin, disability services, and my professor tomorrow Don't f--- with my grades
: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)21:00:56 No.62814125 >be me >In uni >Have autism, school knows about it but most professors I have don't >Have to take some class i don't want because dumb school requirements >One day towards the start of the quarter the professor was sitting at his computer and asks a math question (this wasn't a 131 KB PNG math class) >Pretty good at doing math in my head and I'm a math minor >Respond quickly >Checks answer and says I'm right, asks how i did it >Just say l'm good at math >Asks random simple questions, get them all right >"You must be really good with numbers anon" Yeahiguess.jpg >"Can you count cards" >"Yeah" (i actually don't know anything about card games, i just wanted to sound cool) >Maybe we should go to the casino some time Rain man >think nothing of it >Next class i show up to, professor calls me Rain man when I raise my hand to answer a question >All throughout the term he keeps calling me Rain man, even adresses me in emails as Rain man >Never have an issue with it >End of the term comes, have to do some project >I turn my rough draft in a bit later than other students, professor and teachers aids either spoke to students in class as to how they could improve their project or email them with instructions >Professor never gives me any advice on mine >Send him an email asking what I can do better >Says he's too busy to give any more critique >Call him out saying that it's unfair that other students got ten plus minute conversations on how to improve their work while I can't get any general advice, tells me life isn't fair >Get an 80 on my final >First B in college career >Absolutely furious >Contact school administration >Send pictures of various emails when he called me Rain man >Tell administration that I had no idea what Rainman meant until now, and that I feel incredibly hurt as a student with disabilities >Have a meeting with school admin, disability services, and my professor tomorrow Don't f--- with my grades

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I can was did | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:02:32 No.62812721 >is the most powerful country on the planet >over half of its population can't even f------ read 1.58 MB PNG 9 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:08:31 No.62812813 : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:09:31 No.62812821 >>62812931 # : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:13:47 No.62812869 >>62812905 # : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:16:58 No.62812905 : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:19:10 No.62812931 U.S. literacy 36% 34% + 7th grade and below 8th grade and above > 14% 12% 4% Na 2013 PIAAC, Program for the International Assessment of Adult Competencies chart-5.png 72 KB PNG >>62812821 # Now we know why Americans are still talking about Harry f------ Potter past the age of 20
: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:02:32 No.62812721 >is the most powerful country on the planet >over half of its population can't even f------ read 1.58 MB PNG 9 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:08:31 No.62812813 : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:09:31 No.62812821 >>62812931 # : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:13:47 No.62812869 >>62812905 # : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:16:58 No.62812905 : Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)22:19:10 No.62812931 U.S. literacy 36% 34% + 7th grade and below 8th grade and above > 14% 12% 4% Na 2013 PIAAC, Program for the International Assessment of Adult Competencies chart-5.png 72 KB PNG >>62812821 # Now we know why Americans are still talking about Harry f------ Potter past the age of 20

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Anon watches porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/17(Fri)01:23:51 No.740283136 So this came from a golden conversation with a friend of mine. Enjoy! >Be me >Texting with friend >Be talking about meme s--- 38 KB JPG >Call him a redditfag >He calls me a moms basement dwelling trap fapping f----- who argues traps arent gay >Respond "Traps are gay. And i fap to normal p--- not traps" >He responds "We are all traps" >"We are 50% male genes from father and 50% female genes from mother" >"So fapping to real people is gay" >AhOkey.jpeg >Say "That means everyone is gay" >He responds "S---" >Say "So what about hentai, no genes there just pixels" >"Most hentai involves intercourse so it implies gayness" >Ask "What about tentacle?" >he responds "EUREKA" >"Tentacle p--- is only acceptable p---" >Victory.jpeg
: Anonymous 07/28/17(Fri)01:23:51 No.740283136 So this came from a golden conversation with a friend of mine. Enjoy! >Be me >Texting with friend >Be talking about meme s--- 38 KB JPG >Call him a redditfag >He calls me a moms basement dwelling trap fapping f----- who argues traps arent gay >Respond "Traps are gay. And i fap to normal p--- not traps" >He responds "We are all traps" >"We are 50% male genes from father and 50% female genes from mother" >"So fapping to real people is gay" >AhOkey.jpeg >Say "That means everyone is gay" >He responds "S---" >Say "So what about hentai, no genes there just pixels" >"Most hentai involves intercourse so it implies gayness" >Ask "What about tentacle?" >he responds "EUREKA" >"Tentacle p--- is only acceptable p---" >Victory.jpeg

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

CYANI Cucked by life >grew up in a eastern european village >only like 10 kids in the entire village, house is near the woods, very rustic >first neighbor is a tomboy with short hair one year older than me >play together since 3-4 years of age, no computers or consoles so all we do is play outside and explore and fight >typical kid b------- immitating adults, keep talking how we'll get married, even kiss even though we dont even understand what kissing is >computers become a thing, she gets one because they are rich, play harry potter all day sharing one chair >we get old enough to go to school so she helps me by sharing notes because 1 year ahead, and my family moves away when I have to go to 3rd grade >no cellphones because 90s >lose contact, see each other only during summer break while l visit babushka >grow apart from seeing each other so little >still keep thinking about her, call eachother sometimes on hardline phone >eventually she comes out as lesbian >mfw
CYANI Cucked by life >grew up in a eastern european village >only like 10 kids in the entire village, house is near the woods, very rustic >first neighbor is a tomboy with short hair one year older than me >play together since 3-4 years of age, no computers or consoles so all we do is play outside and explore and fight >typical kid b------- immitating adults, keep talking how we'll get married, even kiss even though we dont even understand what kissing is >computers become a thing, she gets one because they are rich, play harry potter all day sharing one chair >we get old enough to go to school so she helps me by sharing notes because 1 year ahead, and my family moves away when I have to go to 3rd grade >no cellphones because 90s >lose contact, see each other only during summer break while l visit babushka >grow apart from seeing each other so little >still keep thinking about her, call eachother sometimes on hardline phone >eventually she comes out as lesbian >mfw

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Lost in Digestion | /r/Greentext

File: a0453973365_10.jpg (193 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)17:38:16 No.62809336 [Reply] >>62809454 >>62810140 >>62810158 >>62810172 > Be me about 6 years ago > Dumbass 15 year old trying to find any way to fit in > Group of cool kids all start to hang out with me out of nowhere > Can't figure out why > After a few weeks convinced it's not some practical joke > Endorphins finally start flowing > "Is this what it means to be human?" > Other popular kid approaches me > Am I double lucky > "Hey anon, just a heads up. Those guys are only hanging out with you because they know you're on ritalin. They're supplier got caught by the school giving away his and they're gonna try to get you to do the same" > Of f------ corse > Decide to play along until the day comes > Popuhot calls me one day before school > "Hey anon, you're on ritalin, right. It would be totally awesome if you could share some with us." > "Sure becky, I'm fine with that" > Bring baggie of pills to school > "Hey, anon, these are a different color." > "Yeah, I'm on the generic because l'm poor haha" > They all laugh and leave me. > Mfw I just gave them a bag of my Dad's IBS medicine that I've been stealing in anticipation of this moment. I3D Most of them got really sick that day and in the days after. One threw up in class and apparently Becky got so constipated she had to be taken to the doctor. Of course, none of them told anyone why this was happening and they all thought my poor kid ritalin got them sick.
File: a0453973365_10.jpg (193 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)17:38:16 No.62809336 [Reply] >>62809454 >>62810140 >>62810158 >>62810172 > Be me about 6 years ago > Dumbass 15 year old trying to find any way to fit in > Group of cool kids all start to hang out with me out of nowhere > Can't figure out why > After a few weeks convinced it's not some practical joke > Endorphins finally start flowing > "Is this what it means to be human?" > Other popular kid approaches me > Am I double lucky > "Hey anon, just a heads up. Those guys are only hanging out with you because they know you're on ritalin. They're supplier got caught by the school giving away his and they're gonna try to get you to do the same" > Of f------ corse > Decide to play along until the day comes > Popuhot calls me one day before school > "Hey anon, you're on ritalin, right. It would be totally awesome if you could share some with us." > "Sure becky, I'm fine with that" > Bring baggie of pills to school > "Hey, anon, these are a different color." > "Yeah, I'm on the generic because l'm poor haha" > They all laugh and leave me. > Mfw I just gave them a bag of my Dad's IBS medicine that I've been stealing in anticipation of this moment. I3D Most of them got really sick that day and in the days after. One threw up in class and apparently Becky got so constipated she had to be taken to the doctor. Of course, none of them told anyone why this was happening and they all thought my poor kid ritalin got them sick.

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Empire Wasted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O European """banter""(...) 03/18/21(Thu)19:52:57 No.141470314 >Imao 500k Americans dead from covid now, why are your people so fat and retarded? Don't they believe in masks? >"h-haha, speaking of retarded how's Brexit going" 447 KB PNG >TOO F------ SOON M8 MOST RACIST DISASTROUS DECISION OUR COUNTRY EVER MADE WHY ARE ALL AMERICANS SO UNFUNNY LEARN HOW TO BANTER CAN DISH IT BUT CANT TAKE IT Seriously? Lmao. I've never met touchier people than Europeans. Can a European explain to me what banter is? inb4 Brits arent European
: Anonymous O European """banter""(...) 03/18/21(Thu)19:52:57 No.141470314 >Imao 500k Americans dead from covid now, why are your people so fat and retarded? Don't they believe in masks? >"h-haha, speaking of retarded how's Brexit going" 447 KB PNG >TOO F------ SOON M8 MOST RACIST DISASTROUS DECISION OUR COUNTRY EVER MADE WHY ARE ALL AMERICANS SO UNFUNNY LEARN HOW TO BANTER CAN DISH IT BUT CANT TAKE IT Seriously? Lmao. I've never met touchier people than Europeans. Can a European explain to me what banter is? inb4 Brits arent European

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Anon likes bionicle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)18:30:08 No.61847196 ► >be me >be 10 >at friends house >really need a s--- but too shy to go downstairs and walk past his family >ITS COMING >HOLD IT >a little turtle head pops out and rolls down my trouser leg without me realising >we're playing lego or some s--- >friend picks up a small black ball >oh s--- >literally oh s--- >he doesnt know what it is >he keeps lightly squeezing it >ask to have a look >he passes me it >i throw it out of the open window immediately and tell him it was old chocolate Anyway then i nicked some bionicle
Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)18:30:08 No.61847196 ► >be me >be 10 >at friends house >really need a s--- but too shy to go downstairs and walk past his family >ITS COMING >HOLD IT >a little turtle head pops out and rolls down my trouser leg without me realising >we're playing lego or some s--- >friend picks up a small black ball >oh s--- >literally oh s--- >he doesnt know what it is >he keeps lightly squeezing it >ask to have a look >he passes me it >i throw it out of the open window immediately and tell him it was old chocolate Anyway then i nicked some bionicle

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Anon gets toothpaste on his dick | /r/Greentext

>>62811602 (OP) # similar story >be me >a month ago >hadn't slept in 4 days >wandering around my apartment 40 KB JPG in a daze confused on what to do >was hallucinating at this part, heard a voice tell me to shave since I was dirty >l never shave but it felt right this time >walk into bathroom >slide into shower, turn the water on and get it hot >apply shaving cream and start rubbing it all over my balls >"damnthatfeelsgood" >keep doing it for a while >eventually rub the shaving cream all over my body >blink especially long and feel my eyes burn >look down at myself >toothpaste >it's f------ toothpaste >I don't even have f------ shaving cream, I use | soap to shave >I'm literally covered in toothpaste >panic >start to desperately scrub myself and my toothpaste covered balls and c--- >the toothpaste gets into my d--- >it burns >dear god it burns >eventually scrub myself clean >went to sleep shortly after >still smell like toothpaste sleep deprivation can make man do incredible things
>>62811602 (OP) # similar story >be me >a month ago >hadn't slept in 4 days >wandering around my apartment 40 KB JPG in a daze confused on what to do >was hallucinating at this part, heard a voice tell me to shave since I was dirty >l never shave but it felt right this time >walk into bathroom >slide into shower, turn the water on and get it hot >apply shaving cream and start rubbing it all over my balls >"damnthatfeelsgood" >keep doing it for a while >eventually rub the shaving cream all over my body >blink especially long and feel my eyes burn >look down at myself >toothpaste >it's f------ toothpaste >I don't even have f------ shaving cream, I use | soap to shave >I'm literally covered in toothpaste >panic >start to desperately scrub myself and my toothpaste covered balls and c--- >the toothpaste gets into my d--- >it burns >dear god it burns >eventually scrub myself clean >went to sleep shortly after >still smell like toothpaste sleep deprivation can make man do incredible things

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dying of cringe rn | /r/Greentext

>tfw i went through a cowboy phase >become obsessed with movies like The Searchers, Unforgiven and True Grit >actually wore a cowboy hat and a long leather trench coat to high school >would chew a tooth pick and tip my hat at girls >see people from school years later in the street. 17.9 kB PNG >they say "Howdy partner!" before bursting into laughter What was I thinking?
>tfw i went through a cowboy phase >become obsessed with movies like The Searchers, Unforgiven and True Grit >actually wore a cowboy hat and a long leather trench coat to high school >would chew a tooth pick and tip my hat at girls >see people from school years later in the street. 17.9 kB PNG >they say "Howdy partner!" before bursting into laughter What was I thinking?

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Anon sleeps at a gas station | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)10:07:34 No.849899934 >be me >stop at gas station to rest after a long drive >wake up >have to s--- insanely bad >never felt like this before 18 KB JPG >run into gas station at full sprint >rush to bathroom whilst knocking over s--- >s--- like never before >splatters and traumatizes that gas station toilet >smells horrible >f----- in the stall next to me audibly gagging >leave >feelsgoodman True story Pic related
: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)10:07:34 No.849899934 >be me >stop at gas station to rest after a long drive >wake up >have to s--- insanely bad >never felt like this before 18 KB JPG >run into gas station at full sprint >rush to bathroom whilst knocking over s--- >s--- like never before >splatters and traumatizes that gas station toilet >smells horrible >f----- in the stall next to me audibly gagging >leave >feelsgoodman True story Pic related

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Anon as peculiar interest. | /r/Greentext

Story From Past Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)18:42:22 No >Highschool 10th grade >Find coin in gym class >Flip it all period >Bring back to school everyday flipping it >Become obsessed with coins >Reasearch Coins and study them >Also get get good at coin tricks >Become resident coin expert at school >Called Coinboy >Everyone brings me coins daily >Sometimes get rare coins >Get rich for high schooler/steady flow of income >Get other people interested in coins >Create a coin empire
Story From Past Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)18:42:22 No >Highschool 10th grade >Find coin in gym class >Flip it all period >Bring back to school everyday flipping it >Become obsessed with coins >Reasearch Coins and study them >Also get get good at coin tricks >Become resident coin expert at school >Called Coinboy >Everyone brings me coins daily >Sometimes get rare coins >Get rich for high schooler/steady flow of income >Get other people interested in coins >Create a coin empire

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