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Anon bates Britain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that I've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that I've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is having an autistic son | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys

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Anon Hires Escort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)18:46:28 No.844936687 RT, V, +V, m + m, er (m + m)RT P, RT m, RT (m, +m, )RT, P; (m, + m, Tisat Gm, Gm 2 sat Bsat Isat 2sat * – 20 ,y – w u. (x + r2) V(x - T 1601638899698.jpg 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)18:46:28 No.844936687 RT, V, +V, m + m, er (m + m)RT P, RT m, RT (m, +m, )RT, P; (m, + m, Tisat Gm, Gm 2 sat Bsat Isat 2sat * – 20 ,y – w u. (x + r2) V(x - T 1601638899698.jpg 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw

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Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)12:54:16 No.848252153 >be me >med student >have to perform rectal exam to determine if patient s---- blood >forgot to say no h--- after 75 KB PNG oh my god /bl does this mean I'm a f-----?
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)12:54:16 No.848252153 >be me >med student >have to perform rectal exam to determine if patient s---- blood >forgot to say no h--- after 75 KB PNG oh my god /bl does this mean I'm a f-----?

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Bee is Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/19(Sat)22:47:11 No.789817771 >be me >me bee 5 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 01/12/19(Sat)22:47:11 No.789817771 >be me >me bee 5 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)16:35:05 No.62437037 >coworkers start talking about how they lost their virginity 17 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)16:35:05 No.62437037 >coworkers start talking about how they lost their virginity 17 KB JPG

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Can I please just watch the video | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:04:31 No.62494875 >start up a YT video >"WHAT IS UP YALL?!" >closes video 15 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:11:05 No.62494957 >>62494875 (OP)# >start a YT video >"dont forget to like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell" >"follow me on twitter and instagram" >"oh dont forget to subscribe to my patreon for more content" >"and use my referral link to get 50% off faggotshare" >"and pay for my college loans, hospital bills, car insurance, taxes..."
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:04:31 No.62494875 >start up a YT video >"WHAT IS UP YALL?!" >closes video 15 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:11:05 No.62494957 >>62494875 (OP)# >start a YT video >"dont forget to like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell" >"follow me on twitter and instagram" >"oh dont forget to subscribe to my patreon for more content" >"and use my referral link to get 50% off faggotshare" >"and pay for my college loans, hospital bills, car insurance, taxes..."

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C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike

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Anon jumps to conclusions | /r/Greentext

>went to a middle class elementary school >about 500 white kids and 1 black kid in the entire school >one day there was an announcement a little girl's bike got stolen >even as an 11 year old I thought to myself "it was probably the black kid" >a week later we found out it wasn't the black kid >it was the black kid's dad
>went to a middle class elementary school >about 500 white kids and 1 black kid in the entire school >one day there was an announcement a little girl's bike got stolen >even as an 11 year old I thought to myself "it was probably the black kid" >a week later we found out it wasn't the black kid >it was the black kid's dad

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Anon desires human attention | /r/Greentext

File: 1610587027479.png (17 KB, 861x758) Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:31:40 No.62490972 [Reply] >have no gf because you don't simp >have no friends because they are all simps
File: 1610587027479.png (17 KB, 861x758) Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:31:40 No.62490972 [Reply] >have no gf because you don't simp >have no friends because they are all simps

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Anon hates aluminum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/16(Sat)20:57:24 No.712259330 Walking home today some f----- bumped into me and instantly started talking s--- about aluminum being the best metal. I tried to remain calm and explain to him that iron was actually the best metal, but he wouldn't take a hint. He started throwing around words like "rust" and I lost it. Punched him right in his aluminum- 11 KB JPG loving f--- face. I hate aluminum so goddamn much.
: Anonymous 11/19/16(Sat)20:57:24 No.712259330 Walking home today some f----- bumped into me and instantly started talking s--- about aluminum being the best metal. I tried to remain calm and explain to him that iron was actually the best metal, but he wouldn't take a hint. He started throwing around words like "rust" and I lost it. Punched him right in his aluminum- 11 KB JPG loving f--- face. I hate aluminum so goddamn much.

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Sensitive guys you have to perform emotional labor for | /r/Greentext

hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally - P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- Anonymous 07/22/20(Wed)23:38:22 No.96910896 So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter >
hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally - P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- Anonymous 07/22/20(Wed)23:38:22 No.96910896 So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter >

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Anon’s mom tells the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)06:41:26 No.60863896 >Think that everyone f------ hates me >Therapist tells me this is a delusion and that if I don't believe that, I should ask people straight up if they hate me >Don't have any friends, so I ask my mom if she hates me >"I don't hate you, I just wish things had turn out 722 KB PNG differently" That clearly means she hates me
Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)06:41:26 No.60863896 >Think that everyone f------ hates me >Therapist tells me this is a delusion and that if I don't believe that, I should ask people straight up if they hate me >Don't have any friends, so I ask my mom if she hates me >"I don't hate you, I just wish things had turn out 722 KB PNG differently" That clearly means she hates me

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anon has a stepsister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:55:34 No.777876369 Best Greentext stories ever thread >be me >be 12 >get 18 yr old step sister >fast forward 2017 33 KB JPG >l'm 19 she's 25 >we've bonded over all these years and consider each other our best friends and constantly communicate about what's bothering us similar to regular siblings >care for each other over the bond we built >live a normie life 9 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)10:22:02 No.777877586 >>777877261 # You are disgusting >>777877694 # >>777877721 #
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:55:34 No.777876369 Best Greentext stories ever thread >be me >be 12 >get 18 yr old step sister >fast forward 2017 33 KB JPG >l'm 19 she's 25 >we've bonded over all these years and consider each other our best friends and constantly communicate about what's bothering us similar to regular siblings >care for each other over the bond we built >live a normie life 9 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)10:22:02 No.777877586 >>777877261 # You are disgusting >>777877694 # >>777877721 #

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anon isn't european | /r/Greentext

File: 1614242159958.jpg (22 KB, 360x360) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)03:36:00 No.848245131 [Reply] ► >>848251283 >be me >18 yo african kid who just finished high school >life is so hard, but my parents work hard to provide >have excellent notes so opportunity to move to Europe >parents spend all saving and place hopes on me >get here, be nice to everyone and work very hard >still get hated for literally no reason I didn't chose this bros, sometimes i wish i were a blue eyed tall slav. Why + 46 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)06:17:22 No.848251074 ► >>848249950 Imao not germany
File: 1614242159958.jpg (22 KB, 360x360) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)03:36:00 No.848245131 [Reply] ► >>848251283 >be me >18 yo african kid who just finished high school >life is so hard, but my parents work hard to provide >have excellent notes so opportunity to move to Europe >parents spend all saving and place hopes on me >get here, be nice to everyone and work very hard >still get hated for literally no reason I didn't chose this bros, sometimes i wish i were a blue eyed tall slav. Why + 46 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)06:17:22 No.848251074 ► >>848249950 Imao not germany

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Anon faces a double standard | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530 >>47833818 >>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?
File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530 >>47833818 >>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

File: aax25Yk5_700w_0.jpg (116 KB, 586x1000) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:02:10 No.62490774 [Reply] Madturnetion >Jerking off >Slight relieve >10 minutes later >Depressed >Jerking off >Repeat Depression Musturbation h-help. > O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:06:00 No.62490801 File: 1613845059251.jpg (100 KB, 1016x1024) Mrbon BORN the trick is to be distracted until you are ready to coom again then its a pure cycle of bliss De caam
File: aax25Yk5_700w_0.jpg (116 KB, 586x1000) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:02:10 No.62490774 [Reply] Madturnetion >Jerking off >Slight relieve >10 minutes later >Depressed >Jerking off >Repeat Depression Musturbation h-help. > O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:06:00 No.62490801 File: 1613845059251.jpg (100 KB, 1016x1024) Mrbon BORN the trick is to be distracted until you are ready to coom again then its a pure cycle of bliss De caam

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Anon is nostalgic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)04:56:36 No.146940005 > >146940402 >>146942542 >zoomers will never know the feeling of going to a friends house to watch a movie, finding a black tape in the VCR that turned out to be his parents sex tape we hid it for later viewing and both jacked off. I called him a - for jacking off to his own parents but I was wrong to do it. Daniel, if you are reading this I'm sorry. If you still have the tape I really would like to see your mom's t--- again.
Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)04:56:36 No.146940005 > >146940402 >>146942542 >zoomers will never know the feeling of going to a friends house to watch a movie, finding a black tape in the VCR that turned out to be his parents sex tape we hid it for later viewing and both jacked off. I called him a - for jacking off to his own parents but I was wrong to do it. Daniel, if you are reading this I'm sorry. If you still have the tape I really would like to see your mom's t--- again.

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Anon is Viet Cong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Wat 09/24/18(Mon)23:23:35 No.48329553 >be me >Viet Cong >hear Fortunate Son in distance >mfw 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous Wat 09/24/18(Mon)23:23:35 No.48329553 >be me >Viet Cong >hear Fortunate Son in distance >mfw 150 KB PNG

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Anon takes a bite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)22:21:35 No.62427563 >be me >go down to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner >a cute 8/10 Japanese girl comes to take my order >l order some sushi, but I stop her before she goes back to the kitchen 446 KB PNG >"Hey, would you wanna get a drink or something after this?" >"Sorry, but-" >l immediately get out of my seat and head home >I come back 1 hour later with my dad's harpoon gun >walk over to the artificial pond and shoot the biggest koi fish I can see >pull it out and take a bite That'll teach her
: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)22:21:35 No.62427563 >be me >go down to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner >a cute 8/10 Japanese girl comes to take my order >l order some sushi, but I stop her before she goes back to the kitchen 446 KB PNG >"Hey, would you wanna get a drink or something after this?" >"Sorry, but-" >l immediately get out of my seat and head home >I come back 1 hour later with my dad's harpoon gun >walk over to the artificial pond and shoot the biggest koi fish I can see >pull it out and take a bite That'll teach her

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