Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

The tragedy of Anita Sarkeesian

>> O Anonymous 01/01/16(Fri)12:22:46 No.64327482 >>64329434竺643308342264334000 File: anakin-palpatine.ipg (10 KB, 500x211) have you ever heard the tragedy of Anita Sarkeesian? no. l thought not, it's not a pasta the janitors would let you see. It's a feminist legend... Anita Sarkeesian was a youtube eceleb so powerful, and so manipulative, she could use feminism to influence the millenials to create... Social justice. She had such a knowledge of feminism, she could even have people give her hundreds of thousands of dollars and press attention... for doing nothing she could actually... get money, for free? identity politics are a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural >what happened to her she became so powerful, the only thing she was afraid of was... losing her power- which eventually of course, she did. Unfortunately, she taught her followers everything she knew, then her followers made their own twitters and youtube channels and leeched her subscriber base away. Ironic. She could save feminism from irrelevancy... but not herself. is it possible to lean this power? >Not from anon.
>> O Anonymous 01/01/16(Fri)12:22:46 No.64327482 >>64329434竺643308342264334000 File: anakin-palpatine.ipg (10 KB, 500x211) have you ever heard the tragedy of Anita Sarkeesian? no. l thought not, it's not a pasta the janitors would let you see. It's a feminist legend... Anita Sarkeesian was a youtube eceleb so powerful, and so manipulative, she could use feminism to influence the millenials to create... Social justice. She had such a knowledge of feminism, she could even have people give her hundreds of thousands of dollars and press attention... for doing nothing she could actually... get money, for free? identity politics are a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural >what happened to her she became so powerful, the only thing she was afraid of was... losing her power- which eventually of course, she did. Unfortunately, she taught her followers everything she knew, then her followers made their own twitters and youtube channels and leeched her subscriber base away. Ironic. She could save feminism from irrelevancy... but not herself. is it possible to lean this power? >Not from anon.

Greentext Stories
sheev palpatine darth sidious plagueis anita sarkeesian sjw star wars feminists power

This had to be uploaded.

300x400, dwgdawq jP9) 88 □ Anonymous (ID: WuGlpM) 09/18/12(Tue)22 49 04 No 425967258 Reples:-259 be 16 > exchange student from Japan joins classroom > fall in love immediately > she was the cutest girl ive ever seen s we exchange a few words but she know little english s she moves to another classroom and we never see each other anymore > be 4 months later at a house party s sees her from across the room approach her and ask how she was doing she said she was fine and we sat down to talk y she tells me she has been doing great in america and that she is on a english for forei s we talk some more > i ask if she was on a relationship > she said no say "me neither" and smiled s we keep talking > she starts rubbing my leg with her hand s HOOOOLY F--- my heart starts racing s my alpha instincts activate and i whisper on her ear 3 i hear there is a room empty upstairs care to join me? s she agrees and we go > we enter the room and i approach to kiss her > she is a little shy and all that but we make out an all that s we lay on the bed and she takes her clothes off > "anon, take my bra off feels like a rubiks cube but i am able to do it s she has small but cool t--- i was about to take her pants off when i hear a siff > "hey, what's wrong? 9 she is crying > "anon, i have to tell you something s we both sit down on the bed > "i never told this to anyone what is ? > "It's that >"what > "You're what? It's ok, im your friend. You're" Im the scatman" ifunny.ce
300x400, dwgdawq jP9) 88 □ Anonymous (ID: WuGlpM) 09/18/12(Tue)22 49 04 No 425967258 Reples:-259 be 16 > exchange student from Japan joins classroom > fall in love immediately > she was the cutest girl ive ever seen s we exchange a few words but she know little english s she moves to another classroom and we never see each other anymore > be 4 months later at a house party s sees her from across the room approach her and ask how she was doing she said she was fine and we sat down to talk y she tells me she has been doing great in america and that she is on a english for forei s we talk some more > i ask if she was on a relationship > she said no say "me neither" and smiled s we keep talking > she starts rubbing my leg with her hand s HOOOOLY F--- my heart starts racing s my alpha instincts activate and i whisper on her ear 3 i hear there is a room empty upstairs care to join me? s she agrees and we go > we enter the room and i approach to kiss her > she is a little shy and all that but we make out an all that s we lay on the bed and she takes her clothes off > "anon, take my bra off feels like a rubiks cube but i am able to do it s she has small but cool t--- i was about to take her pants off when i hear a siff > "hey, what's wrong? 9 she is crying > "anon, i have to tell you something s we both sit down on the bed > "i never told this to anyone what is ? > "It's that >"what > "You're what? It's ok, im your friend. You're" Im the scatman" ifunny.ce

Greentext Stories
scatman 4chan story

found aboot

File: Roger.ipg (277 KB, 1632x918) □ Sheppard. Anonymous 12/10/15(Thu)09:25:18 No.319657037 >Be me >Be playing Fallout 4 >See semi-intact house >Notice that it's full of Gunners >Sigh, unholster weapon >Loot bodies as I kill them to save time >Notice that I just looted an item called "Cat Meat >Look at what I'm looting Sisthisreallife.flv >Realize that I just ripped the flesh from a dead cat >#triggered >Name cat Roger >Krogan Blood Rage activated >Don't even bother looting as I slaughter remaining Gunners >This is for Roger >Go back to cat nconsolable sadness >Examine Cat Meat in inventory >Start bawling like bitch >Go back to Sanctuary >Build monument of cat paintings and cat food bowls >Place Cat Meat atop >Build Bell next to monument >Gather settlers for Rogers funeral >Settler picks up Cat Meat >Eats it icanteven >Kill everyone >Quit game >Spend the next week curled in a ball >Roger was so young >MFW Toxoplasma gondii Manipulation Hypothesis is real monument
File: Roger.ipg (277 KB, 1632x918) □ Sheppard. Anonymous 12/10/15(Thu)09:25:18 No.319657037 >Be me >Be playing Fallout 4 >See semi-intact house >Notice that it's full of Gunners >Sigh, unholster weapon >Loot bodies as I kill them to save time >Notice that I just looted an item called "Cat Meat >Look at what I'm looting Sisthisreallife.flv >Realize that I just ripped the flesh from a dead cat >#triggered >Name cat Roger >Krogan Blood Rage activated >Don't even bother looting as I slaughter remaining Gunners >This is for Roger >Go back to cat nconsolable sadness >Examine Cat Meat in inventory >Start bawling like bitch >Go back to Sanctuary >Build monument of cat paintings and cat food bowls >Place Cat Meat atop >Build Bell next to monument >Gather settlers for Rogers funeral >Settler picks up Cat Meat >Eats it icanteven >Kill everyone >Quit game >Spend the next week curled in a ball >Roger was so young >MFW Toxoplasma gondii Manipulation Hypothesis is real monument

Greentext Stories
fallout 4 cat meat roger toxoplasma gondii manipulation hypothesis kill everyone

found aboot

File: 1448612984759s.ipg (7 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:46:24 No.65431 5319 >:854315388 Let get a greentext thread going I'll start with my OC >16 11th grade >astronomy class me and 3 friends all sit together in the back of class always f------ around but the class was pretty easy >today we get to do a lab fuckyeah.jpg assignment is to make a "meteor by melting lead and pouring it into a mold >each group gets to make its own mold >herewego.png "no penises fine >get to lab station and start melting little lead balls in a tiny crucible >actually pretty neat stakes a while so we're just f------ around and talking to the group next to us >lead almost melted >I get to make the mold >greatest idea of my highschool career comes to me make a swastika not a penis >friend in charge of the lead looks at my masterpiece >doesn't give a f--- >pours it right in >he actually did it. instant regret Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:46:58 No.654315388 >>6543 15905 >>654316285 File: 1447572637832 ipg (94 KB, 475x567) >i'm getting expelled for sure >f-----.gif group next to us sees and makes a star of david lol steacher's assistant is attracted by the laughter s--- >make up b------- excuse about how it means peace and balance in hindu >not buying it but visibly amused >calls teacher over >he comes over and give him same b------- excuse just stops and looks at it for a few seconds before sighing >"whose idea was this?" >not a p----, "it was my idea" >I'm f----- just stares at me >"i won't have this symbol in my classroom" >gets a hammer and hands it to me >"destroy it >didn't immediately get sent to the office >hope.png suse back end of hammer to try to break it apart won't break >friend takes hammer and starts hammering the s--- out of it >hammer breaks but he managed to break off one of the arms at the same time >teacher tells me to throw it away and goes back to his desk >pretend to >we go back to our desks and I hide the pieces in my backpack >have to draw a picture of what we made on the lab report >we draw a swastika with one slightly separated arm >turn it in looking directly at the teacher swe ended up getting an A on the lab teacher didn't report it and none of us got in trouble smfw I carried the pieces in my backpack for months mfw I still have the pieces Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:54:43 No.654316421 File: received 1029493970445978.ipg (90 KB, 999x1776) 22654316488 Here it is 卍
File: 1448612984759s.ipg (7 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:46:24 No.65431 5319 >:854315388 Let get a greentext thread going I'll start with my OC >16 11th grade >astronomy class me and 3 friends all sit together in the back of class always f------ around but the class was pretty easy >today we get to do a lab fuckyeah.jpg assignment is to make a "meteor by melting lead and pouring it into a mold >each group gets to make its own mold >herewego.png "no penises fine >get to lab station and start melting little lead balls in a tiny crucible >actually pretty neat stakes a while so we're just f------ around and talking to the group next to us >lead almost melted >I get to make the mold >greatest idea of my highschool career comes to me make a swastika not a penis >friend in charge of the lead looks at my masterpiece >doesn't give a f--- >pours it right in >he actually did it. instant regret Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:46:58 No.654315388 >>6543 15905 >>654316285 File: 1447572637832 ipg (94 KB, 475x567) >i'm getting expelled for sure >f-----.gif group next to us sees and makes a star of david lol steacher's assistant is attracted by the laughter s--- >make up b------- excuse about how it means peace and balance in hindu >not buying it but visibly amused >calls teacher over >he comes over and give him same b------- excuse just stops and looks at it for a few seconds before sighing >"whose idea was this?" >not a p----, "it was my idea" >I'm f----- just stares at me >"i won't have this symbol in my classroom" >gets a hammer and hands it to me >"destroy it >didn't immediately get sent to the office >hope.png suse back end of hammer to try to break it apart won't break >friend takes hammer and starts hammering the s--- out of it >hammer breaks but he managed to break off one of the arms at the same time >teacher tells me to throw it away and goes back to his desk >pretend to >we go back to our desks and I hide the pieces in my backpack >have to draw a picture of what we made on the lab report >we draw a swastika with one slightly separated arm >turn it in looking directly at the teacher swe ended up getting an A on the lab teacher didn't report it and none of us got in trouble smfw I carried the pieces in my backpack for months mfw I still have the pieces Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:54:43 No.654316421 File: received 1029493970445978.ipg (90 KB, 999x1776) 22654316488 Here it is 卍

Greentext Stories
4chan swastika make a meteor

found aboot

File: download.ipg (8 KB, 305x165) Anonymous 12/20/15(Sun)13:38:36 No.658408642 ·>>658408742 So how's christmas going? I have a story > be me 18 years old > In highschool > invited to class only christmas party by crush > I go come to party, eat and get drunk like you would expect > party, party, party > People leave arround 1 >Be last 3 guys there > everyone else lef > start cleaning a bit up > Her parents come home > start talking to us while we wait for a ride home > "Who cleaned this up Anon did >Get asked: Do you have money? a bit > Do you know how to cook? yes > serious vOIce Marry our daughter > She becomes embarrassed > Car pulls up, its the ride home leave as quickly as possible >Everyone knows mfw
File: download.ipg (8 KB, 305x165) Anonymous 12/20/15(Sun)13:38:36 No.658408642 ·>>658408742 So how's christmas going? I have a story > be me 18 years old > In highschool > invited to class only christmas party by crush > I go come to party, eat and get drunk like you would expect > party, party, party > People leave arround 1 >Be last 3 guys there > everyone else lef > start cleaning a bit up > Her parents come home > start talking to us while we wait for a ride home > "Who cleaned this up Anon did >Get asked: Do you have money? a bit > Do you know how to cook? yes > serious vOIce Marry our daughter > She becomes embarrassed > Car pulls up, its the ride home leave as quickly as possible >Everyone knows mfw

Greentext Stories
christmas party marry our daughter 4chan

found aboot

File: image ipa (299 KB, 868x1306) ■ Story time Anonymous 12/04/15(Fri)19:00:25 No.24728991 Reply] ->>24731064 Be me around 4 years ago s Like little boys in very inappropriate way s Like most pedos, bought into b------- ideology > "12 year olds are much more intelligent and mature than society gives them credit for "As long as the kid consents and is okay with it, there's nothing wrong" » On the deep web being bad s Everybody is like "we love children just as much as everyone else. We hate people who actually abuse kids, but if the kid consents it's not abuse s Me buying into this b------- Someone points out how the most popular video by far was of a little boy begging crying and begging for it to stop s Almost everyone there had fapped to that s--- Everyone is all like, "Well yeah we dont endorse *actualt child abuse, but we're human. We slip up and make mistakes sometimes" s "We still care about kids tho" > Start seeing through their b-------. s Start seeing fantastic mental gymnastics at every turn >Disgusted with myself for being like these sick f---- s Wipe computer clean, resolve to get better haven't looked at that s--- in years > Still look at cartoons tho. That don't hurt nobody
File: image ipa (299 KB, 868x1306) ■ Story time Anonymous 12/04/15(Fri)19:00:25 No.24728991 Reply] ->>24731064 Be me around 4 years ago s Like little boys in very inappropriate way s Like most pedos, bought into b------- ideology > "12 year olds are much more intelligent and mature than society gives them credit for "As long as the kid consents and is okay with it, there's nothing wrong" » On the deep web being bad s Everybody is like "we love children just as much as everyone else. We hate people who actually abuse kids, but if the kid consents it's not abuse s Me buying into this b------- Someone points out how the most popular video by far was of a little boy begging crying and begging for it to stop s Almost everyone there had fapped to that s--- Everyone is all like, "Well yeah we dont endorse *actualt child abuse, but we're human. We slip up and make mistakes sometimes" s "We still care about kids tho" > Start seeing through their b-------. s Start seeing fantastic mental gymnastics at every turn >Disgusted with myself for being like these sick f---- s Wipe computer clean, resolve to get better haven't looked at that s--- in years > Still look at cartoons tho. That don't hurt nobody

Greentext Stories
4chan pedos little boys

CANNOT STUMP

View Same Google Yandex iqdb SauceNA。凼based.png, 198KB,1024x1024 View Report /int/ Anonymous Fri 28 Aug 2015 17:10:31 No.46957956 >2016 Trump has just been elected president >Republican majority senate and house have decided to name him king >Now in the white house awaiting his coronation >Everyone is there to see this momentous occasion All leaders from Europe, Trump and Putin hug and all relations are fixed UKIP pledges allegiance to him Taliban leaders and ISIS leaders there, vow to end conflicts >China decides to end communism >Kim jong-Un steps down as supreme leader and opens up North Korea >All sanctions on Cuba end Mexican cartels publicly burn all their drugs and start helping the homeless >Australia fixes its seasons >Colonies prepped for mars within two years >A world currency, the Trumpdollar, is announced Every god-fearing citizen of the world gets a free AR-15, all wars and crimes end due to armed citizenry Completely free market, economies boom and the poverty line disappears >0% homelessness. 0% unemployment >Immigrants go home because everywhere is safe now >Gypsies settle down and create gypsiestan in the middle of turkey, who allow it Kurds set up their own state to the applause of turkish, iraqi, and syrian governments Coronation about to begin Trump walks on stage, waves, then walks right back off >Gabe Newell walks on stage and takes the mic Huge 3 appears behind him "I'm pleased to announce the release of Half Life 3, to release in three days for free to everyone massive applause world peace
View Same Google Yandex iqdb SauceNA。凼based.png, 198KB,1024x1024 View Report /int/ Anonymous Fri 28 Aug 2015 17:10:31 No.46957956 >2016 Trump has just been elected president >Republican majority senate and house have decided to name him king >Now in the white house awaiting his coronation >Everyone is there to see this momentous occasion All leaders from Europe, Trump and Putin hug and all relations are fixed UKIP pledges allegiance to him Taliban leaders and ISIS leaders there, vow to end conflicts >China decides to end communism >Kim jong-Un steps down as supreme leader and opens up North Korea >All sanctions on Cuba end Mexican cartels publicly burn all their drugs and start helping the homeless >Australia fixes its seasons >Colonies prepped for mars within two years >A world currency, the Trumpdollar, is announced Every god-fearing citizen of the world gets a free AR-15, all wars and crimes end due to armed citizenry Completely free market, economies boom and the poverty line disappears >0% homelessness. 0% unemployment >Immigrants go home because everywhere is safe now >Gypsies settle down and create gypsiestan in the middle of turkey, who allow it Kurds set up their own state to the applause of turkish, iraqi, and syrian governments Coronation about to begin Trump walks on stage, waves, then walks right back off >Gabe Newell walks on stage and takes the mic Huge 3 appears behind him "I'm pleased to announce the release of Half Life 3, to release in three days for free to everyone massive applause world peace

Greentext Stories
4chan half life 3 trump world peace trumpdollar

Temple of doom

Be in first grade, private school (public school district I'm in is notoriously awful and dangerous Othar kids are all aiready friends because thair rich parents are co-workers Shogun you look lonely, you should go play with that boy over there Kid's playing tetherball by himself and going realy hard Ain't no need to call the police Whiffing every other shot with rage and then asks to hold my hand I don't know what to do so w "alk to lurch 1ogether and sit next to each other Kid takes out two Sandwich is a ittle bit of jelly and pats of f------ bune Gnger kid screams out YOU MADE THEM WRONG THEY'RE WRONG WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYr Clearly doesn't get paid enough for this s---, sends me to take him to the nurse's office Find out his last name is Temple According to both Temple and the teachers, I'm his new best friend And 50 begins 귀 story 5panig elementary and middle school where my social life and 5arity were destroyed by this kid Anonymous 01/02/16(Say07 38 36 No 660862303 トー601ssss.memecs Tums out that even among the other first graders, Temple is known as a f------ weirdo >Has been given the nickname "The Temple of Doom >I have no trends so I play ith him at recess and suff spisode at school involving someone informing him that his penc is ane, in fact not roc kstships from Mom invites a paydate polite >Go over there after school the next day, Temple of Doom tells me that his parents are aliens, he's an alien, and his little sister is the alien queen and they're going t Get to his house, his sister's a year younger and immediately spits on me, hugs me, and starts screaming His dad's home,I wave to him >meanwhle Temple of Doom has his hands down his pants and is squiming and moaning laves bathroom door open, stands ike 3 ht (approx 1 meter in his English brain) away from toilt and the Temple family are aliens closet for the rest of the time im there till my mom picks me up 41:00 No 660052709 . First and second grade continue with this s--- kid does loads of weird stuff, cries and screams Our moms met when my mom came to pick me up the first time they became best friends My mom is generally unikeable and has no friends besides the mother of the Temple of DOom Mom forc es me to keep being friends with the weirdo so she can hang out with his cool mom 3rd Grade Temple of Doom This pravents me from making new friands, so I play with him at ro 90 Temple of Doom screaming at the top of his lungs whenever he goes, it's like 6ft off the ground and 8 t long l'm behind him and I push him to help him get some speed, I feel this wam wet splatter hit my face l slowly process flooded Kids giggling gleefully as piss trickles down his leg. it's neverending he screams out-It's so warm it feels like a warm bath" Anon, take Temple of Doom to the nurse's office and get him changed l chase him down til 1 find him hiding out behind the dumpste l sit there in silence as he makes pattems on the ground using trash Thank you human for not revealing my secret. You will be the last to die in the invasion mom comes to pick him up in about 15 the summoning signal actualy worked nis → toward the end of third grade Mom damped me off the library for a few hors while she went and did who knows what Head ibrarian (we're stil bros to this day) shows me that they have a comic book section l check out a few and bring them to school for silent reading time of Doom after I was done back the next day They smell of urine she's now obsessed with superheroes and that the only game we are alowed to play Temple of Doom's super hero is named Strong Ma We play superheroes during recess every day for a week, sometimes other kids play with us loo Most of them are there to spectate Temple of Doom's actions as his alter-ego, Strong Man He sprinted at people and tried to stab them to death with his "razor sharp nose Besides generie Superman fare Strong Man's other power was being half man and half woman According to Temple of Doom、 ths halves were divided vertcaly den the mdde tle would also pick his nose and collect boogers inhis mouth to spit people This move was called the snot hy par beam or something lke that, and it was a living nightmar Temple of Doom/Strong Man spant roc ess hocking booger-nfused loogies at girls for about a weak before another kid called him out on his sht best triand of my 3rd grade crush teils him to stop acting ike a retard (shiny new bad wond for 3nd gradars) Temple of Doom starts to got angry "1 am the alien king you can't t Temple is running into the wind and hocking loogies at the girl, but they're blowing back in his face The kids don't stop running till the clever girl darts into the ladies room Temple of Doom, stll in STrong Man superhero mode, tuns to me Beneath the slime I can see the biggest shial eating grin on his face The left side of him half-woman so he shuffles with his shoulder forward toward the gistom door l leap at him, shouting nooood" and grab him around the waist and manage to bring him down We're about 2 feet awaly from the girls room door, it opens and out comes my crush and her friend She sees me laying on the ground face down on top of temple of Doom, arms around his waist -4th grade now, Temple of Doom gets into YuGiOh aler watching the show once at my house Temple of Doom's family doesn't have TVs because, as his mom told me, they used to have one but Mrs. Temple and the kids sat in front of it for 3 days straight, not sleeping, with only bathroom and food breaks Watched one episode of YuGiOh atl my house whie I begged for him to go play outside Bought a deck of cards, camed it around with him everywhene This will become important later They perfom in front of the whole school, elamentary school goes up to 4th grada so i'm in the front now program In the playiskit, Tample of Doom is supposed to proband to pee his pants because he was scaned of a ca >Pulls YuGiOh cards out his pocket and begins to s-- and starts to run around the stage > Draws cards that are soaked with pi55, cals out ther name弓and fings them nto the adence Temple of Doom is berserk and screeching and sobbing untl he runs out of YuGiOh cards The heart of the cards has failed me" or something to that effect soon as I stand up he nuns to me and hugs me Standing thene, in front of the entre school with a sobbing, piss-soaked alion king hugging me Temple of Doom's parents had anothar kid, don't want to have to pay for private school for 3 kids in the future so they move Temple and his younger sister to public. Thay ive in a good district anyway so I don't got this treat very ohen >F emple of Doom gets a vanilia ice cream cone because all that crazy has to be balanced out by some degree of boning. I guess be chocolale. Nothing else will do WHY THE F--- DID YOU ASK FOR VANILLA Temple of Doom casualy f------ chucks the cone out the window and i f------ splats on the driver's side window of a car in the lane next to us Car screeches to a halt, mother of the Temple of Doom stops the van Temple of Doom shouts out the window give me back my ice cream or I will destroy you Anonymous 01/02/16(Sarce 2316 No 660858950 -simaanasonas sseaza in 8th grade now, social life at school getting much better since he doesn't go there anymoe Hn the worst decision made on U S 5에 5nce gong into Vietnam, his parents buy him an xbox and a tv for hi5 birthday with CoD. This kid is She has shaved off all of her eyebrows and cut off her eyelashes because lunacy nuns in the family Hello Anon do you find my NOPE right the f--- past her up to the rolative safety of Temple of Doom's 0OCD-levell organized room l secently saved up lawnmowing dosh to get two arsoft guns, I bring tham with ma Temple is mesemized by xbox, doesn't even notice me walk in and I stand thare yelling at him for 10 minutes After letting him beat me at CoD so he wouldn't have an episode, I unplug the xbox and convince him to go outside to use my airsoft guns Show him how to use Loads the airsoft gun, bamels toward him Shoots him with airsoft 8Bs until I wreste the gun away from him Both our moms saw this from the ktchen window Mom finally sees how craty he is, that's the last time I ever sam Temple of Doom in person Reputation sticks with me but is fading, students from surrounding public schools who don't know me funnel into my private HS while other kids leave 9th grade goes smoothly, I'm even elected class president (class only has 100 kids in it) 10th grade, have the best teacher of my life >It's english class and we have this new girl from some public school, super smart but hasn't said a word the whole year ofputting up with Temple of Doom have given me good sense of humor nglish teacher has us read a short story about a guy embarrassing himself, asks us to tell any funny embamass yourself stories story -l tel the pool one of Doom's full name and describe him vividly New gi suddenly says her irst thing she's ever sad all year She had been in the same school as Temple of Doom and had bean in English class with him for a few years Only thing he'd ever wnte about was stones involving him and teh only other member of his people, his best friend A-(again, my name. Me.) and he'd share them with the whole class legend among their English class -l had survived the Temple of Doom mfw Temple of Doom, even 2 years later, still wrote stories about me (most of them involving invading and taking over the earth
Be in first grade, private school (public school district I'm in is notoriously awful and dangerous Othar kids are all aiready friends because thair rich parents are co-workers Shogun you look lonely, you should go play with that boy over there Kid's playing tetherball by himself and going realy hard Ain't no need to call the police Whiffing every other shot with rage and then asks to hold my hand I don't know what to do so w "alk to lurch 1ogether and sit next to each other Kid takes out two Sandwich is a ittle bit of jelly and pats of f------ bune Gnger kid screams out YOU MADE THEM WRONG THEY'RE WRONG WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYr Clearly doesn't get paid enough for this s---, sends me to take him to the nurse's office Find out his last name is Temple According to both Temple and the teachers, I'm his new best friend And 50 begins 귀 story 5panig elementary and middle school where my social life and 5arity were destroyed by this kid Anonymous 01/02/16(Say07 38 36 No 660862303 トー601ssss.memecs Tums out that even among the other first graders, Temple is known as a f------ weirdo >Has been given the nickname "The Temple of Doom >I have no trends so I play ith him at recess and suff spisode at school involving someone informing him that his penc is ane, in fact not roc kstships from Mom invites a paydate polite >Go over there after school the next day, Temple of Doom tells me that his parents are aliens, he's an alien, and his little sister is the alien queen and they're going t Get to his house, his sister's a year younger and immediately spits on me, hugs me, and starts screaming His dad's home,I wave to him >meanwhle Temple of Doom has his hands down his pants and is squiming and moaning laves bathroom door open, stands ike 3 ht (approx 1 meter in his English brain) away from toilt and the Temple family are aliens closet for the rest of the time im there till my mom picks me up 41:00 No 660052709 . First and second grade continue with this s--- kid does loads of weird stuff, cries and screams Our moms met when my mom came to pick me up the first time they became best friends My mom is generally unikeable and has no friends besides the mother of the Temple of DOom Mom forc es me to keep being friends with the weirdo so she can hang out with his cool mom 3rd Grade Temple of Doom This pravents me from making new friands, so I play with him at ro 90 Temple of Doom screaming at the top of his lungs whenever he goes, it's like 6ft off the ground and 8 t long l'm behind him and I push him to help him get some speed, I feel this wam wet splatter hit my face l slowly process flooded Kids giggling gleefully as piss trickles down his leg. it's neverending he screams out-It's so warm it feels like a warm bath" Anon, take Temple of Doom to the nurse's office and get him changed l chase him down til 1 find him hiding out behind the dumpste l sit there in silence as he makes pattems on the ground using trash Thank you human for not revealing my secret. You will be the last to die in the invasion mom comes to pick him up in about 15 the summoning signal actualy worked nis → toward the end of third grade Mom damped me off the library for a few hors while she went and did who knows what Head ibrarian (we're stil bros to this day) shows me that they have a comic book section l check out a few and bring them to school for silent reading time of Doom after I was done back the next day They smell of urine she's now obsessed with superheroes and that the only game we are alowed to play Temple of Doom's super hero is named Strong Ma We play superheroes during recess every day for a week, sometimes other kids play with us loo Most of them are there to spectate Temple of Doom's actions as his alter-ego, Strong Man He sprinted at people and tried to stab them to death with his "razor sharp nose Besides generie Superman fare Strong Man's other power was being half man and half woman According to Temple of Doom、 ths halves were divided vertcaly den the mdde tle would also pick his nose and collect boogers inhis mouth to spit people This move was called the snot hy par beam or something lke that, and it was a living nightmar Temple of Doom/Strong Man spant roc ess hocking booger-nfused loogies at girls for about a weak before another kid called him out on his sht best triand of my 3rd grade crush teils him to stop acting ike a retard (shiny new bad wond for 3nd gradars) Temple of Doom starts to got angry "1 am the alien king you can't t Temple is running into the wind and hocking loogies at the girl, but they're blowing back in his face The kids don't stop running till the clever girl darts into the ladies room Temple of Doom, stll in STrong Man superhero mode, tuns to me Beneath the slime I can see the biggest shial eating grin on his face The left side of him half-woman so he shuffles with his shoulder forward toward the gistom door l leap at him, shouting nooood" and grab him around the waist and manage to bring him down We're about 2 feet awaly from the girls room door, it opens and out comes my crush and her friend She sees me laying on the ground face down on top of temple of Doom, arms around his waist -4th grade now, Temple of Doom gets into YuGiOh aler watching the show once at my house Temple of Doom's family doesn't have TVs because, as his mom told me, they used to have one but Mrs. Temple and the kids sat in front of it for 3 days straight, not sleeping, with only bathroom and food breaks Watched one episode of YuGiOh atl my house whie I begged for him to go play outside Bought a deck of cards, camed it around with him everywhene This will become important later They perfom in front of the whole school, elamentary school goes up to 4th grada so i'm in the front now program In the playiskit, Tample of Doom is supposed to proband to pee his pants because he was scaned of a ca >Pulls YuGiOh cards out his pocket and begins to s-- and starts to run around the stage > Draws cards that are soaked with pi55, cals out ther name弓and fings them nto the adence Temple of Doom is berserk and screeching and sobbing untl he runs out of YuGiOh cards The heart of the cards has failed me" or something to that effect soon as I stand up he nuns to me and hugs me Standing thene, in front of the entre school with a sobbing, piss-soaked alion king hugging me Temple of Doom's parents had anothar kid, don't want to have to pay for private school for 3 kids in the future so they move Temple and his younger sister to public. Thay ive in a good district anyway so I don't got this treat very ohen >F emple of Doom gets a vanilia ice cream cone because all that crazy has to be balanced out by some degree of boning. I guess be chocolale. Nothing else will do WHY THE F--- DID YOU ASK FOR VANILLA Temple of Doom casualy f------ chucks the cone out the window and i f------ splats on the driver's side window of a car in the lane next to us Car screeches to a halt, mother of the Temple of Doom stops the van Temple of Doom shouts out the window give me back my ice cream or I will destroy you Anonymous 01/02/16(Sarce 2316 No 660858950 -simaanasonas sseaza in 8th grade now, social life at school getting much better since he doesn't go there anymoe Hn the worst decision made on U S 5에 5nce gong into Vietnam, his parents buy him an xbox and a tv for hi5 birthday with CoD. This kid is She has shaved off all of her eyebrows and cut off her eyelashes because lunacy nuns in the family Hello Anon do you find my NOPE right the f--- past her up to the rolative safety of Temple of Doom's 0OCD-levell organized room l secently saved up lawnmowing dosh to get two arsoft guns, I bring tham with ma Temple is mesemized by xbox, doesn't even notice me walk in and I stand thare yelling at him for 10 minutes After letting him beat me at CoD so he wouldn't have an episode, I unplug the xbox and convince him to go outside to use my airsoft guns Show him how to use Loads the airsoft gun, bamels toward him Shoots him with airsoft 8Bs until I wreste the gun away from him Both our moms saw this from the ktchen window Mom finally sees how craty he is, that's the last time I ever sam Temple of Doom in person Reputation sticks with me but is fading, students from surrounding public schools who don't know me funnel into my private HS while other kids leave 9th grade goes smoothly, I'm even elected class president (class only has 100 kids in it) 10th grade, have the best teacher of my life >It's english class and we have this new girl from some public school, super smart but hasn't said a word the whole year ofputting up with Temple of Doom have given me good sense of humor nglish teacher has us read a short story about a guy embarrassing himself, asks us to tell any funny embamass yourself stories story -l tel the pool one of Doom's full name and describe him vividly New gi suddenly says her irst thing she's ever sad all year She had been in the same school as Temple of Doom and had bean in English class with him for a few years Only thing he'd ever wnte about was stones involving him and teh only other member of his people, his best friend A-(again, my name. Me.) and he'd share them with the whole class legend among their English class -l had survived the Temple of Doom mfw Temple of Doom, even 2 years later, still wrote stories about me (most of them involving invading and taking over the earth

Greentext Stories
greentext autism

from /k/

Anonymous 12/31/15(Thu)10:33:12 No.28378279 File: 1723 ipg (18 KB, 426x359) 28378315 2328378358 2328378561 2228378756 2228380246 >28378194 No one f----- with a dude that fell off a 25 foot cliff and a goat horn sticking out of his helmet 228378223 Sadly don't have any. They were lost when a drive died. Have another story instead. >Be inna Afghanistarn >Be doing another damn foot patro Walking through some dirt farmer's dirt farm >Because f--- you we're Americans Take fire from a mud hut >Standard react to fire happen:s >Move up with my fire team to breech >Gotta be sure that kebab has been removed >Stack on door >I'm breech man, so I move up to shotgun breech >As I'm about to blow the door to flinders, the door swings open and a very much alive kebab was on the other side >He had an AK >We both start firing at each other >He hit me 3 times in my plates and grazed me twice out of about 10 rounds shot twice and hit twice >Once in his right knee and one in his head MFW >Keep in mind this all happened in about two seconds >Point man eventually stopped being dumbfounded and yanked me out of the doorway >Rest of my team continue to clear the hut while I'm in the dust on my ass >Doc rushes up and starts asking me questions > I try to speak but nearly choke on something in my mouth >I spit it out >It's a chunk of brain MFW
Anonymous 12/31/15(Thu)10:33:12 No.28378279 File: 1723 ipg (18 KB, 426x359) 28378315 2328378358 2328378561 2228378756 2228380246 >28378194 No one f----- with a dude that fell off a 25 foot cliff and a goat horn sticking out of his helmet 228378223 Sadly don't have any. They were lost when a drive died. Have another story instead. >Be inna Afghanistarn >Be doing another damn foot patro Walking through some dirt farmer's dirt farm >Because f--- you we're Americans Take fire from a mud hut >Standard react to fire happen:s >Move up with my fire team to breech >Gotta be sure that kebab has been removed >Stack on door >I'm breech man, so I move up to shotgun breech >As I'm about to blow the door to flinders, the door swings open and a very much alive kebab was on the other side >He had an AK >We both start firing at each other >He hit me 3 times in my plates and grazed me twice out of about 10 rounds shot twice and hit twice >Once in his right knee and one in his head MFW >Keep in mind this all happened in about two seconds >Point man eventually stopped being dumbfounded and yanked me out of the doorway >Rest of my team continue to clear the hut while I'm in the dust on my ass >Doc rushes up and starts asking me questions > I try to speak but nearly choke on something in my mouth >I spit it out >It's a chunk of brain MFW

Greentext Stories
4chan military afghanistan chunk of brain breech foot patrol dirt farmer

from /k/

Anonymous 1231/15 Thu 080449 No 28377462 File: 1448503701548 ipg (7 KB, 339x359) >>28377516 >>28377620>>2837766 1 >>28377696 2283781942-28378223>-28380037>>28380246 28369621 (0P) I have a few. Here's one. Be inna Afghanistan Be 12B Be doing route clearance onna steep mountain road >Pick up weak signal on my minesweeper >Switch to GPR Lights up like New York City on New year's eve >Call it in and proceed to find out what it is >After doing probing, I began to dig the thing up >Mfw it's an old as balls Russian wooden landmine >Everyone helping me decided to f--- off because the mine is massive >No one to help me with the mine >Have to manhandle the mine out of the ground by myself >l keep dropping the mine because it's heavy >Eventually get it out of the ground >Drag that bitch over to the cliff that was the edge of the road Radio in that I'm disposing of the mine and I thank everyone for their help, the bastards. >Kick mine off the cliff and lean over to watch the mine fall It falls about a hundred yards and lands on a mountain goat and detonates Shock wave knocks me back and I fall over and hit my head on a rock >Take my helmet off to feel if I'm bleeding >Mfw there's a goat horn stuck in my helmet >I left it there as a trophy
Anonymous 1231/15 Thu 080449 No 28377462 File: 1448503701548 ipg (7 KB, 339x359) >>28377516 >>28377620>>2837766 1 >>28377696 2283781942-28378223>-28380037>>28380246 28369621 (0P) I have a few. Here's one. Be inna Afghanistan Be 12B Be doing route clearance onna steep mountain road >Pick up weak signal on my minesweeper >Switch to GPR Lights up like New York City on New year's eve >Call it in and proceed to find out what it is >After doing probing, I began to dig the thing up >Mfw it's an old as balls Russian wooden landmine >Everyone helping me decided to f--- off because the mine is massive >No one to help me with the mine >Have to manhandle the mine out of the ground by myself >l keep dropping the mine because it's heavy >Eventually get it out of the ground >Drag that bitch over to the cliff that was the edge of the road Radio in that I'm disposing of the mine and I thank everyone for their help, the bastards. >Kick mine off the cliff and lean over to watch the mine fall It falls about a hundred yards and lands on a mountain goat and detonates Shock wave knocks me back and I fall over and hit my head on a rock >Take my helmet off to feel if I'm bleeding >Mfw there's a goat horn stuck in my helmet >I left it there as a trophy

Greentext Stories
4chan goat horn wooden russian landmine military

from /k/

| Anonymous 12/30/15(Wed)21:15:16 No.28373696 File: 1441321068280 ipg (70 KB, 885x765) >>28373835 >228378744 28370693 >live in the south >lots of white trash LOTS of white trash >neighbors (meaning the people closest to my acre of land) are meth heads living in a shack >catch them sneaking on my property all the time trying to do god know whats >not even sure if they have it figured out >one day im plinking, bought myself a crossbow at my lgs for the hell of it dog starts barking his angry bark, meaning somebody he doesn't know or like is on my property >one of the said meth heads is approaching, I have my 9mm but its holstered, currently holding the cross bow and shooting water jugs can tell the dude is high out of his mind, starts asking if he can borrow my truck to pick up his sister w--, dude I have several lawsuits against you and your kinfolk >"man I just need it for a few hours, IlI fill it up" youre not picking up your sister/lover in my truck now go dude pulls some junk metal raven arms 25 on me, says hes taking it anyway and t get back in my house if I don't want to get shot >he turns around >YOU ALREADY DREW ON ME BITCH fire the bow, hits him right in his plump fat ass >he howls like a cartoon character, shoots a round into the dirt and duck walks back to his side of the woods >probably stiches himself back together with a sewing kit, never get my arrow back and never hear anything about it such life in the south
| Anonymous 12/30/15(Wed)21:15:16 No.28373696 File: 1441321068280 ipg (70 KB, 885x765) >>28373835 >228378744 28370693 >live in the south >lots of white trash LOTS of white trash >neighbors (meaning the people closest to my acre of land) are meth heads living in a shack >catch them sneaking on my property all the time trying to do god know whats >not even sure if they have it figured out >one day im plinking, bought myself a crossbow at my lgs for the hell of it dog starts barking his angry bark, meaning somebody he doesn't know or like is on my property >one of the said meth heads is approaching, I have my 9mm but its holstered, currently holding the cross bow and shooting water jugs can tell the dude is high out of his mind, starts asking if he can borrow my truck to pick up his sister w--, dude I have several lawsuits against you and your kinfolk >"man I just need it for a few hours, IlI fill it up" youre not picking up your sister/lover in my truck now go dude pulls some junk metal raven arms 25 on me, says hes taking it anyway and t get back in my house if I don't want to get shot >he turns around >YOU ALREADY DREW ON ME BITCH fire the bow, hits him right in his plump fat ass >he howls like a cartoon character, shoots a round into the dirt and duck walks back to his side of the woods >probably stiches himself back together with a sewing kit, never get my arrow back and never hear anything about it such life in the south

Greentext Stories
4chan methheads such life in the south crossbow bolt in the ass

from /k/

O Anonymous 12/05/15 Sat 23:25:38 No.28103985 > 28104247>>28104335>>28 105658>>28105734>>28106936 >>28 110951 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one morning and look off our back declk >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staf >4 geese are hissing menacingly asian fighting noises >Korean guy charges >geese charge today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today >he smashes its head >he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house funniest s--- I've ever seen ress possible sian to blush he turns as for an the east will show o mercytoday
O Anonymous 12/05/15 Sat 23:25:38 No.28103985 > 28104247>>28104335>>28 105658>>28105734>>28106936 >>28 110951 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one morning and look off our back declk >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staf >4 geese are hissing menacingly asian fighting noises >Korean guy charges >geese charge today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today >he smashes its head >he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house funniest s--- I've ever seen ress possible sian to blush he turns as for an the east will show o mercytoday

Greentext Stories
4chan asian fighting noises geese blush zergface the east will show no mercy today

>

21:23 No.147872126 [2 1341708121363.png (376 KB, 900x702) gd google press any button to continue press the power button pc tuns off
21:23 No.147872126 [2 1341708121363.png (376 KB, 900x702) gd google press any button to continue press the power button pc tuns off

Greentext Stories
press any button to continue power button

Do you know the Muffin Man?

□ Anonymous 12/10/12(Mon)13:57 No. 1 66228882 Replies: >>166229428 >> 166229839 >> 166229847 >> 16622995 16 >166261332 166262076 File: 1355165871419 ipg-(213 KB, 681x475, 1318436094413 jpg) ittle cousin comes over >already sure I'm gonna play the role of a babysitter for the reminder of the day he eventually wants to play some PS2 >fire up sum tekken 5 nd gets mad lose to him on purpose >he starts to mock me and laugh like a little s------- he is offer we play one more round >totally mop the floor with him >he starts screaming and throwing around, rolling on the floor and tearing off his clothes >first thing that comes to me on a whim is to lock him in an empty wall wardrobe have >throw him in there and quickly close the doors can hear the little s--- throwing around, almost breaking through stake off my pants >decided that the only thing I can do by now is to take a s--- through the wardrobe slides >push with great force >at first only wet diarrhea flies out of my anus >I can hear it splattering all over my cousin >by now he's pretty much full insane in there,almost manages to break out my wardrobe doors >suddenly a great urge to s--- >push with all my might >a huge, brown, smelly log makes it's way out of my ass >it contacts the slides that cut it to pieces and make it rain all over my cousin >hear him screaming and rolling around like the devil he is >he shouts "mom help poop!" >the screams and shouts get louder and louder have to make him quiet somehow >start singing "do you know the muffin man" >by now my room is filled with banging, cries, farts and my singing finally after about one more minute I let the devil out >he runs down the stairs at sanic speed, all naked covered in tears, sweat, blood and my poop >he runs outside the house >everyone wanders what happened tell them that I let him go to the bathroom and few seconds later this happened they believe me and take the little s--- home Haven't seen him since. I wander what he's like now, all grown up.
□ Anonymous 12/10/12(Mon)13:57 No. 1 66228882 Replies: >>166229428 >> 166229839 >> 166229847 >> 16622995 16 >166261332 166262076 File: 1355165871419 ipg-(213 KB, 681x475, 1318436094413 jpg) ittle cousin comes over >already sure I'm gonna play the role of a babysitter for the reminder of the day he eventually wants to play some PS2 >fire up sum tekken 5 nd gets mad lose to him on purpose >he starts to mock me and laugh like a little s------- he is offer we play one more round >totally mop the floor with him >he starts screaming and throwing around, rolling on the floor and tearing off his clothes >first thing that comes to me on a whim is to lock him in an empty wall wardrobe have >throw him in there and quickly close the doors can hear the little s--- throwing around, almost breaking through stake off my pants >decided that the only thing I can do by now is to take a s--- through the wardrobe slides >push with great force >at first only wet diarrhea flies out of my anus >I can hear it splattering all over my cousin >by now he's pretty much full insane in there,almost manages to break out my wardrobe doors >suddenly a great urge to s--- >push with all my might >a huge, brown, smelly log makes it's way out of my ass >it contacts the slides that cut it to pieces and make it rain all over my cousin >hear him screaming and rolling around like the devil he is >he shouts "mom help poop!" >the screams and shouts get louder and louder have to make him quiet somehow >start singing "do you know the muffin man" >by now my room is filled with banging, cries, farts and my singing finally after about one more minute I let the devil out >he runs down the stairs at sanic speed, all naked covered in tears, sweat, blood and my poop >he runs outside the house >everyone wanders what happened tell them that I let him go to the bathroom and few seconds later this happened they believe me and take the little s--- home Haven't seen him since. I wander what he's like now, all grown up.

Greentext Stories
muffin man

Your move, Mr. Law-man!

Anonymous 12/11/11 (Sun) 18:07 No. 10286882 >They kick down my door >I have dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >Just in case this day comes >They fight their way through the dongs >There are casualties >They bust down my bedroom door >I'm wearing a G-string >Backwards >Covering myself in olive oil >Extra oil on my balls >Playing with my n------ Moan as loudly as possible "YOUR MOVE, MR >Those cops will never be the same. LAW-MAN!"
Anonymous 12/11/11 (Sun) 18:07 No. 10286882 >They kick down my door >I have dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >Just in case this day comes >They fight their way through the dongs >There are casualties >They bust down my bedroom door >I'm wearing a G-string >Backwards >Covering myself in olive oil >Extra oil on my balls >Playing with my n------ Moan as loudly as possible "YOUR MOVE, MR >Those cops will never be the same. LAW-MAN!"

Greentext Stories
police dragon dildo

Creeper

File: 1359177109260.png-(268 KB, 900x563, creeper.png) Anonymous (ID: dzKXZFRf) 01/26/13 (Sat)00:11:49 No.453772258 Replies: 22 l saw a creeper kill itself in minecraft today. playing minecraft nighttime don't give a s---, iron armor bitches walking to my house anyways, inventory full see a lava pool at the surface, not that big of a deal one stone block in the center >a creeper's on top of it, unable to escape the f----- looked distressed, it was turning around like crazy trying to reach me it looked at me never have I seen such malice in two tiny black pixels before it looked me straight in the m------------ eye it started hissing and expanding >boom the explosion only damaged the block it was standing on, nothing else, not even me >the lava covered up where it stood a moment later I've seen some s---
File: 1359177109260.png-(268 KB, 900x563, creeper.png) Anonymous (ID: dzKXZFRf) 01/26/13 (Sat)00:11:49 No.453772258 Replies: 22 l saw a creeper kill itself in minecraft today. playing minecraft nighttime don't give a s---, iron armor bitches walking to my house anyways, inventory full see a lava pool at the surface, not that big of a deal one stone block in the center >a creeper's on top of it, unable to escape the f----- looked distressed, it was turning around like crazy trying to reach me it looked at me never have I seen such malice in two tiny black pixels before it looked me straight in the m------------ eye it started hissing and expanding >boom the explosion only damaged the block it was standing on, nothing else, not even me >the lava covered up where it stood a moment later I've seen some s---

Greentext Stories
minecraft creeper

O_O

「Anonymous (ID: 4Szwmxqa) 05/18/12(Fri)23:02:01 No.400534482 File: 1337396521865 ipg-(47 KB, 211x204, 1321922756618.jpg) 00 >see man searching for woman chat him up, he wants a date pretend to be a woman and agree to meet at a motel She's in there before i come, he sent a text with the roomnumber >i walk in with a knife he's naked on bed already he starts screaming when he sees the knife >he sounds like chewbacca >instinctively i begin making chewbacca noises too >naked man on bed, me with knife standing next to it, both screaming like chewbacca >walk out >regret i didnt stab him
「Anonymous (ID: 4Szwmxqa) 05/18/12(Fri)23:02:01 No.400534482 File: 1337396521865 ipg-(47 KB, 211x204, 1321922756618.jpg) 00 >see man searching for woman chat him up, he wants a date pretend to be a woman and agree to meet at a motel She's in there before i come, he sent a text with the roomnumber >i walk in with a knife he's naked on bed already he starts screaming when he sees the knife >he sounds like chewbacca >instinctively i begin making chewbacca noises too >naked man on bed, me with knife standing next to it, both screaming like chewbacca >walk out >regret i didnt stab him

Greentext Stories
serial killer wookie chewbacca

Fallout

□ Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:39 No. 14630694 Replies: 22146307312214630753 another story >at McCarran >on KP duty because lol sexist comment random guy walks in with ranger armor >has a sequoia >takes off helmet >"Where's the recruiting desk, I'd like to s >buys all our beer and salisbury steak >pays in legion coins that was a weird day □ Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:48 No.14630804 Replies: 2214630952 14630753 get ordered to help some guy who radioed in for help >sprint there as fast as I can with my squad it's that f------ guy again >surrounded by like 15 deathclaws >we take pot shots at them >he decapitates every single one with a fire axe Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:44 No.14630753 Replies: 14630804 2214631342 14630694 What the f---? Possibly related story >Be protecting that highway back to California > Guy in Ranger armor arrives. > Talks to Drunk red Head bitch > Takes her with him on some quest > Buys all our spare ammo > Tells us the Legion is prepping an assault from the east, and that a free hold settlement was completely razed > Repaired a few of our items and sold it back to us for double the price Who the f--- is this a------? Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:53 No.14630855 Replies: 14631179 >be stationed at HELIOS One >some jackass in a business suit is hopping down the road like a retard she gets ambushed buy legion assassins slook at all the f---- we give, it's not like our service rifles can do anything to their bullet proof mardi gras masks anyways >he manages to kill a couple, but then appears to have run out of ammo and starts running towards us swe collectively s--- our pants >not knowing what else to do, the (lol female) Lt. tells everyone including the f------ dog to charge face first into the assassin with the supersledge meanwhile get trapped in a f------ hill and can't do anything but take potshots at a guy throwing spears at the dirt in front of me >meanwhile everyone else dies >he finally gets his s--- together and takes one of their Brush guns and kills them all >Not knowing what else to do, I stand half buried in the hill for a few days until reinforcements dig me out True Story □ Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:54 No. 14630872 Replies: 2214630882 >>14630906 >>14630952 14629019 (OP) >Be guy that does money checks for the Gun Runners seller bot The other day, I see over 160K of caps used in a single transaction What the f--- >Recheck money >It's right >He bought literally every new gun we made in a single transaction, along with all the ammo and parts Who the f--- is this guy? P> □ Anonymous 02/06/13(Tue)03:11 No.1463 1065 File: 1360051917309.ipg-(43 KB, 500x420, Delivery for the troops.jpg) >Waiting to assault the legion controlled camp Nelson > Lieutenant comes running up with some guy I have never seen before >Everyone is getting ready >Suddenly the stranger starts taking more drugs than I have even seen in my life, all while keeping a completely blank stare on his face >Stranger takes point and charges directly into camp with what appeared to be a varmint hunting rifle >He is getting shot multiple times all over his body >He keeps taking drugs and blasting legionairs >After all the dust settles we walk up to him, not a wound on him, not even blood >He collects his pay, loots the entire camp and leaves I have seen God, and he is a drug addict in a vault suit.
□ Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:39 No. 14630694 Replies: 22146307312214630753 another story >at McCarran >on KP duty because lol sexist comment random guy walks in with ranger armor >has a sequoia >takes off helmet >"Where's the recruiting desk, I'd like to s >buys all our beer and salisbury steak >pays in legion coins that was a weird day □ Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:48 No.14630804 Replies: 2214630952 14630753 get ordered to help some guy who radioed in for help >sprint there as fast as I can with my squad it's that f------ guy again >surrounded by like 15 deathclaws >we take pot shots at them >he decapitates every single one with a fire axe Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:44 No.14630753 Replies: 14630804 2214631342 14630694 What the f---? Possibly related story >Be protecting that highway back to California > Guy in Ranger armor arrives. > Talks to Drunk red Head bitch > Takes her with him on some quest > Buys all our spare ammo > Tells us the Legion is prepping an assault from the east, and that a free hold settlement was completely razed > Repaired a few of our items and sold it back to us for double the price Who the f--- is this a------? Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:53 No.14630855 Replies: 14631179 >be stationed at HELIOS One >some jackass in a business suit is hopping down the road like a retard she gets ambushed buy legion assassins slook at all the f---- we give, it's not like our service rifles can do anything to their bullet proof mardi gras masks anyways >he manages to kill a couple, but then appears to have run out of ammo and starts running towards us swe collectively s--- our pants >not knowing what else to do, the (lol female) Lt. tells everyone including the f------ dog to charge face first into the assassin with the supersledge meanwhile get trapped in a f------ hill and can't do anything but take potshots at a guy throwing spears at the dirt in front of me >meanwhile everyone else dies >he finally gets his s--- together and takes one of their Brush guns and kills them all >Not knowing what else to do, I stand half buried in the hill for a few days until reinforcements dig me out True Story □ Anonymous 02/05/13(Tue)02:54 No. 14630872 Replies: 2214630882 >>14630906 >>14630952 14629019 (OP) >Be guy that does money checks for the Gun Runners seller bot The other day, I see over 160K of caps used in a single transaction What the f--- >Recheck money >It's right >He bought literally every new gun we made in a single transaction, along with all the ammo and parts Who the f--- is this guy? P> □ Anonymous 02/06/13(Tue)03:11 No.1463 1065 File: 1360051917309.ipg-(43 KB, 500x420, Delivery for the troops.jpg) >Waiting to assault the legion controlled camp Nelson > Lieutenant comes running up with some guy I have never seen before >Everyone is getting ready >Suddenly the stranger starts taking more drugs than I have even seen in my life, all while keeping a completely blank stare on his face >Stranger takes point and charges directly into camp with what appeared to be a varmint hunting rifle >He is getting shot multiple times all over his body >He keeps taking drugs and blasting legionairs >After all the dust settles we walk up to him, not a wound on him, not even blood >He collects his pay, loots the entire camp and leaves I have seen God, and he is a drug addict in a vault suit.

Greentext Stories
fallout

Tales from the Court

File My job requires that Im in domestic violence court on a weekly basis. Because of this,Ihave an unlimited supply of party stories. Pok >Woman requesting restraining order from husband > When asked for details, she gave two examples > First, every time she sees him after a period apart, he demands to smell her breath, to see ifit smells ㄱike d---" > Second, he requires her to log and count her tampons because he's suspicious she's using them to "soak up other men's semen Husband sitting on the other side of the court roomm His face File: 138303 KB, 145x167, faggat png interest > Guy has limited interactions with his adult daughter, despite still liing with her She sends him almost a dozen original emails a day, claiming to be a prophet of the new lord wear your skin" kind of s--- o Shows up to court with, and this is not an exaggeration, 12,000 of these emails (all original and at least a thousand words) He hasnt served her He somehow hasn't seen her in week or so > Wakes up s--- Commits her the next day > Showed up in court with the story anyways and got a year restraining order, just in case File 13830 3 87062 mg(39 KB. 126x151, comeback. png) 6/10 feeble looking woman requesting a She and the guy had originally been dating up Tums out her took naloed pictures of her while she was sleeping, duning the relationship Sox months later, she has a new boyfriend > Wakes up in the morning. goes to her car to go to work > Her car has had every inch of it covered with naked photos of her F------ superglued and thick paper so she cant really do s--- about it > Manages to scrape off enough of the windshield to see > Drives coochmobile to the nearest mechanic, stares from everyone, recognizing the driver from her spread legs and t--- plastered to the side windows > Your honor, you dont understand. I wasnt doing it to harass her, but to tease her new boyfriend! > Guy's face when five year restraining order png Middle Eastem woman comes into court > Hasnt served ex-husband yet, so he's not there >Six months before she fled, she got divorced, and her husband moved back to sandland A few weeks before she fled, after not seeing him for almost halř a year, she has an alleged incident She's sitting at home, in front of her closed ront window, reading a magazine, drinking tea or some sht > Sees a car begin to come down her street Windows are dark, and she cant see into it > As it passes, she suddenly goes into electric shock Iimmediately realized that she had been "drive-by tazed police and fles a re > "Your windows was closed, and the car driving by had it's windows up as well? t was a very strong tazer! I still feel the effect > Even f it was a stun gun, that couldn't have happened through two sheets of glass, as he was driving across the street Lady goes bat s--- > Claims the judge has no idea what her ex is capable of > Claims he must have invented new weapons technology to produce such a taser Lady also later claimed that he has been trying to kill her, as evidenced by her seeing a loose wire hanging from a telephone pole on her drive home from work was him t > My favorite part of this one was just thinling about if she had been right > What if her husband really was a f------ miitary genius and was electrocuting people at his whims Lady eventually was forced to leave the courtroom and denied the protective order she requested wonder if she did died Boyfriend moved out about three months prior They've had minimal contact sense > She declares that she needs protection because he has been "e---------- on everything Iown According to her, this m------------ had been sneaking into her home on the daily, and spraying jzz on her household items > Sticky phone, sticky purse, sticky pots, sticky pans, sticky dog, sticky chairs, you name it > She said this had been happening for close to a month > Said she immediately knew what it was and who did > Guy is looking making the biggest "what the tuck" face in court > Responds with the basic。"why would I do that, who would do that Me moved on, blablabla > Woman interrupts and produces evidence for the court >Private testing she > All of it was his > Judge asks the guy if he has anything to say for the record > Ive never had much use for this gif, but the change in his f------ face when too much glee up in here. lets take a turn for the sadder with my first "that dude is going to die" experience Claims that his wife's two brothers are harassing him and physically intimidating him Wile complains to her brothers whenever her and her husabnd have a problem, and the brothers retaliate Follow the husband in their car wherever he goes, not saying anything. slowly rolling behind him On the few occasions he's confronted them, they've tried to physically subdue him and take him, but he's escaped (even >Never a police report filed, because they flee when they hear la policia Third brother from Mexoico as well is in jail for murder tatted guys > Husband is tiny and looks like comically like a 20th century meican rancher Brothers smirking in their denim and fannel > Less than a month before the husband goes missing 1, 1310515296328 g) and now a retun to me trying not to die laughing while in court Husband and wife are separated, but have no restraining order Have custody order that is constantly a subject of debate for them One day, dad shows up from school to pick kids up, ike he's supposed to >Dad gets daughter, but mom grabs her son and takes him, saying it's her time School does nothing. both parents drive away Boy in moms car begins to yel that he wants to talk to dad Mom calls dad, to get him to shutup Gives the kid the phone > Don t worry dad, I have an F------ 10 year old boy proceeds to, in the seat neod to his mom, drop his pants and start s------- Takes the fattest sht of his Ide all over the front seat crack and all over his pants/legs Mom freaks out "GOD DAMN IT,"immediately drives him to the dad, and gives the dad the son because she can't deal with Mom and Dad proceed to spend at least an hour of the court's time arguing over if the dad instructed the kid to s--- his way out of his shituation R0g-(48 KB, 152x154 ainight, last one, because I need to sleep. I legit do have court in the morning. this one was fun. ady for For the year ater their relationship ended, she texted him every single day Stuf like "good moming sexy" or hope your day is going well stud But also stuf like hope that btch you're f------ now knows what we did in that bed > Declaration even gets graphic , s--- like. ㄱ was ha ng a bad day urtil l started thinking of you and found an old bottle of astrogide thanks for the two orgasms > Not one of her talling to Guy shows up to court, he's like 55, 5"4, broad, skin destroyed by too much sun, wearing cowboy boots and sporting a sick white mullet/goatee combo up s--- > She denies none of t, but isn't realy paying attention to the hearing Legs originally under the table, both the respondent and the defendant face the judge > As the case goes on, her legs swivell around slowly, to face him She tries to do the sharon stone vagina fash leg uncross, but her legs were never really crossed, so really, she just spreads her vagina further to o et the Wants Bailff has to escort her out of the courtroom She's screaming about the sex they're going to have God that was besutful
File My job requires that Im in domestic violence court on a weekly basis. Because of this,Ihave an unlimited supply of party stories. Pok >Woman requesting restraining order from husband > When asked for details, she gave two examples > First, every time she sees him after a period apart, he demands to smell her breath, to see ifit smells ㄱike d---" > Second, he requires her to log and count her tampons because he's suspicious she's using them to "soak up other men's semen Husband sitting on the other side of the court roomm His face File: 138303 KB, 145x167, faggat png interest > Guy has limited interactions with his adult daughter, despite still liing with her She sends him almost a dozen original emails a day, claiming to be a prophet of the new lord wear your skin" kind of s--- o Shows up to court with, and this is not an exaggeration, 12,000 of these emails (all original and at least a thousand words) He hasnt served her He somehow hasn't seen her in week or so > Wakes up s--- Commits her the next day > Showed up in court with the story anyways and got a year restraining order, just in case File 13830 3 87062 mg(39 KB. 126x151, comeback. png) 6/10 feeble looking woman requesting a She and the guy had originally been dating up Tums out her took naloed pictures of her while she was sleeping, duning the relationship Sox months later, she has a new boyfriend > Wakes up in the morning. goes to her car to go to work > Her car has had every inch of it covered with naked photos of her F------ superglued and thick paper so she cant really do s--- about it > Manages to scrape off enough of the windshield to see > Drives coochmobile to the nearest mechanic, stares from everyone, recognizing the driver from her spread legs and t--- plastered to the side windows > Your honor, you dont understand. I wasnt doing it to harass her, but to tease her new boyfriend! > Guy's face when five year restraining order png Middle Eastem woman comes into court > Hasnt served ex-husband yet, so he's not there >Six months before she fled, she got divorced, and her husband moved back to sandland A few weeks before she fled, after not seeing him for almost halř a year, she has an alleged incident She's sitting at home, in front of her closed ront window, reading a magazine, drinking tea or some sht > Sees a car begin to come down her street Windows are dark, and she cant see into it > As it passes, she suddenly goes into electric shock Iimmediately realized that she had been "drive-by tazed police and fles a re > "Your windows was closed, and the car driving by had it's windows up as well? t was a very strong tazer! I still feel the effect > Even f it was a stun gun, that couldn't have happened through two sheets of glass, as he was driving across the street Lady goes bat s--- > Claims the judge has no idea what her ex is capable of > Claims he must have invented new weapons technology to produce such a taser Lady also later claimed that he has been trying to kill her, as evidenced by her seeing a loose wire hanging from a telephone pole on her drive home from work was him t > My favorite part of this one was just thinling about if she had been right > What if her husband really was a f------ miitary genius and was electrocuting people at his whims Lady eventually was forced to leave the courtroom and denied the protective order she requested wonder if she did died Boyfriend moved out about three months prior They've had minimal contact sense > She declares that she needs protection because he has been "e---------- on everything Iown According to her, this m------------ had been sneaking into her home on the daily, and spraying jzz on her household items > Sticky phone, sticky purse, sticky pots, sticky pans, sticky dog, sticky chairs, you name it > She said this had been happening for close to a month > Said she immediately knew what it was and who did > Guy is looking making the biggest "what the tuck" face in court > Responds with the basic。"why would I do that, who would do that Me moved on, blablabla > Woman interrupts and produces evidence for the court >Private testing she > All of it was his > Judge asks the guy if he has anything to say for the record > Ive never had much use for this gif, but the change in his f------ face when too much glee up in here. lets take a turn for the sadder with my first "that dude is going to die" experience Claims that his wife's two brothers are harassing him and physically intimidating him Wile complains to her brothers whenever her and her husabnd have a problem, and the brothers retaliate Follow the husband in their car wherever he goes, not saying anything. slowly rolling behind him On the few occasions he's confronted them, they've tried to physically subdue him and take him, but he's escaped (even >Never a police report filed, because they flee when they hear la policia Third brother from Mexoico as well is in jail for murder tatted guys > Husband is tiny and looks like comically like a 20th century meican rancher Brothers smirking in their denim and fannel > Less than a month before the husband goes missing 1, 1310515296328 g) and now a retun to me trying not to die laughing while in court Husband and wife are separated, but have no restraining order Have custody order that is constantly a subject of debate for them One day, dad shows up from school to pick kids up, ike he's supposed to >Dad gets daughter, but mom grabs her son and takes him, saying it's her time School does nothing. both parents drive away Boy in moms car begins to yel that he wants to talk to dad Mom calls dad, to get him to shutup Gives the kid the phone > Don t worry dad, I have an F------ 10 year old boy proceeds to, in the seat neod to his mom, drop his pants and start s------- Takes the fattest sht of his Ide all over the front seat crack and all over his pants/legs Mom freaks out "GOD DAMN IT,"immediately drives him to the dad, and gives the dad the son because she can't deal with Mom and Dad proceed to spend at least an hour of the court's time arguing over if the dad instructed the kid to s--- his way out of his shituation R0g-(48 KB, 152x154 ainight, last one, because I need to sleep. I legit do have court in the morning. this one was fun. ady for For the year ater their relationship ended, she texted him every single day Stuf like "good moming sexy" or hope your day is going well stud But also stuf like hope that btch you're f------ now knows what we did in that bed > Declaration even gets graphic , s--- like. ㄱ was ha ng a bad day urtil l started thinking of you and found an old bottle of astrogide thanks for the two orgasms > Not one of her talling to Guy shows up to court, he's like 55, 5"4, broad, skin destroyed by too much sun, wearing cowboy boots and sporting a sick white mullet/goatee combo up s--- > She denies none of t, but isn't realy paying attention to the hearing Legs originally under the table, both the respondent and the defendant face the judge > As the case goes on, her legs swivell around slowly, to face him She tries to do the sharon stone vagina fash leg uncross, but her legs were never really crossed, so really, she just spreads her vagina further to o et the Wants Bailff has to escort her out of the courtroom She's screaming about the sex they're going to have God that was besutful

Greentext Stories
court judge legal

COD IRL

7186 ing-190 KB, 720x480, potatosquad jpg) Special forces File □ Anonymous 10/20/13(Sun)13 59 47 UTC410 511799273 Reples usurassausumm ususoooss Boy, do I have a story for you /b Be me Just let a war-zone out in the middle east Crazy S--- n my squad fighting off the Americans lmTalibanBomba jpeg ,we're dong good, shot up fike 4 Amencan troops in a few minutes of fighting We get a call hearing the US is sending in special forces to out villages >Me and my fellow towel-brothers are not that worried [Ln We had tanqg on the 50 and my boy Muhammad with a Dragunov, and his brother Muhammad with his trusty rpk All seems good and calm, just fnished polishing off the U S squad We see a chopper land off in the distance pLooks like a full squad of snipers sOff in the distance we here T f----- your mom last night f------ pohmyallah png >Around twenty 11-13 year old kids come running straight at us Their voices shatter all the windows in our buildings -Frantically started spraying as one of them jumps off a building maling a 360 and hitting tan'q in the head with his intervention 408 The demon child then screeches f------ noobs, tv1 me p---- >We all start running me and the Muhammad brothers >I see out of the corner of my eye all the kids tea bagging tanas stil warm corpse >Bullets fying by us tucking lag quit cheating you stupid n------ >Muhammad is crying while his brother is in sheckle shock from these f------ jews >As we are about to make it to the truck I notice one of the mini troopers pulling out his 50cal Bamett >He picks off both the Muhammad brothers PBats and dogs start scattering everywhere in the confusion from the high pitched voices The squeaker squad is screaming in excitement from the ictory escape in all the confusion im about 20 miles away when I see an explosion in the distance >Apparently our intel said something about one of them having 25 kolls? And ordered a WMD on their own position? The U.S. military is f------ crazy man
7186 ing-190 KB, 720x480, potatosquad jpg) Special forces File □ Anonymous 10/20/13(Sun)13 59 47 UTC410 511799273 Reples usurassausumm ususoooss Boy, do I have a story for you /b Be me Just let a war-zone out in the middle east Crazy S--- n my squad fighting off the Americans lmTalibanBomba jpeg ,we're dong good, shot up fike 4 Amencan troops in a few minutes of fighting We get a call hearing the US is sending in special forces to out villages >Me and my fellow towel-brothers are not that worried [Ln We had tanqg on the 50 and my boy Muhammad with a Dragunov, and his brother Muhammad with his trusty rpk All seems good and calm, just fnished polishing off the U S squad We see a chopper land off in the distance pLooks like a full squad of snipers sOff in the distance we here T f----- your mom last night f------ pohmyallah png >Around twenty 11-13 year old kids come running straight at us Their voices shatter all the windows in our buildings -Frantically started spraying as one of them jumps off a building maling a 360 and hitting tan'q in the head with his intervention 408 The demon child then screeches f------ noobs, tv1 me p---- >We all start running me and the Muhammad brothers >I see out of the corner of my eye all the kids tea bagging tanas stil warm corpse >Bullets fying by us tucking lag quit cheating you stupid n------ >Muhammad is crying while his brother is in sheckle shock from these f------ jews >As we are about to make it to the truck I notice one of the mini troopers pulling out his 50cal Bamett >He picks off both the Muhammad brothers PBats and dogs start scattering everywhere in the confusion from the high pitched voices The squeaker squad is screaming in excitement from the ictory escape in all the confusion im about 20 miles away when I see an explosion in the distance >Apparently our intel said something about one of them having 25 kolls? And ordered a WMD on their own position? The U.S. military is f------ crazy man

Greentext Stories
call of duty real life