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Anon ate some rice pudding | /r/Greentext

1h (8/28 22:55) 905143537. 13 Re . 3 Img JPG 55KB (600 × 895) · IMG_9704.jpg 4 Replies ● > Ate a delicious bowl of milk rice after years of abstinence yesterday > violently shat myself at work today W-- just happened? ●●●
1h (8/28 22:55) 905143537. 13 Re . 3 Img JPG 55KB (600 × 895) · IMG_9704.jpg 4 Replies ● > Ate a delicious bowl of milk rice after years of abstinence yesterday > violently shat myself at work today W-- just happened? ●●●

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Nuclear Energy in Germany | /r/Greentext

German Nuclear Shenanigans Anonymous 08/28/23(Mon)19:30:52 No.74542553 >be CDU (German Conservative Party) >2011, Fukushima happens >Holy crap we gotta get rid of all of our nuclear energy by 2022! >also who cares about renewables, we don't need to focus on those, coal rules! >2012-2020: Yup, still doing that and shutting some other nuclear plants down even earlier >2021, new government is elected, you (CDU) are now the opposition CDU ago and it's basically underway already" >cry and s--- and c-- everywhere "MY NUCLEARINOS!!!! HOW COULD YOU????" >everyone believes that the greens are at fault >You still get like 30% of the votes no matter what f------ kill me man. >new gov says "yeah we'll continue with the shutdown since that has already been decided ages
German Nuclear Shenanigans Anonymous 08/28/23(Mon)19:30:52 No.74542553 >be CDU (German Conservative Party) >2011, Fukushima happens >Holy crap we gotta get rid of all of our nuclear energy by 2022! >also who cares about renewables, we don't need to focus on those, coal rules! >2012-2020: Yup, still doing that and shutting some other nuclear plants down even earlier >2021, new government is elected, you (CDU) are now the opposition CDU ago and it's basically underway already" >cry and s--- and c-- everywhere "MY NUCLEARINOS!!!! HOW COULD YOU????" >everyone believes that the greens are at fault >You still get like 30% of the votes no matter what f------ kill me man. >new gov says "yeah we'll continue with the shutdown since that has already been decided ages

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anon takes the loner pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)16:52:16 No.905094402 >be me >never can keep a partner >they either leave me, or we remain friends >some hurt me, end up not giving a f--- >don't give a f--- anymore >realize being alone is better >accept it >mfw I want partners, but end up not giving a f--- if I don't >mfw I will be alone my entire life /b/ros, when did you learn you were alone for the rest of your life?
: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)16:52:16 No.905094402 >be me >never can keep a partner >they either leave me, or we remain friends >some hurt me, end up not giving a f--- >don't give a f--- anymore >realize being alone is better >accept it >mfw I want partners, but end up not giving a f--- if I don't >mfw I will be alone my entire life /b/ros, when did you learn you were alone for the rest of your life?

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Anon lives in Europe | /r/Greentext

File: 1688285799384.png (248 KB, 1000x1000) neighbors stories? s(KOOL Anonymous 08/28/23 (Mon)15:45:55 No.74540811 >>74541862 Ok I'll start >be me >For some f----- up reason, the bath window faces a non-accessible void of the building where I live, and due that, we can hear every person living there while SCKOOL we s--- >I'll s--- every morning before work >I'll hear the neighbor beating the s--- off of her sons >I'll stop s------- and take the elevator to get on my way to work >the neighbor will be there with her sons >They'll be smiling to me exactly like picrel, like nothing happened >I'll do nothing >everyday, before work Anonymous 08/28/23(Mon)16:17:56 No.74541062 >>74541080 Let me guess, Eastern Europe?
File: 1688285799384.png (248 KB, 1000x1000) neighbors stories? s(KOOL Anonymous 08/28/23 (Mon)15:45:55 No.74540811 >>74541862 Ok I'll start >be me >For some f----- up reason, the bath window faces a non-accessible void of the building where I live, and due that, we can hear every person living there while SCKOOL we s--- >I'll s--- every morning before work >I'll hear the neighbor beating the s--- off of her sons >I'll stop s------- and take the elevator to get on my way to work >the neighbor will be there with her sons >They'll be smiling to me exactly like picrel, like nothing happened >I'll do nothing >everyday, before work Anonymous 08/28/23(Mon)16:17:56 No.74541062 >>74541080 Let me guess, Eastern Europe?

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous troll idea 36 KB JPG 08/28/23(Mon)15:55:20 No.905124349 >hook up with a gay f----- >let him pound my ass >when he's f------ me take a FAT & JUICY S--- and shove into urethra good idea?
: Anonymous troll idea 36 KB JPG 08/28/23(Mon)15:55:20 No.905124349 >hook up with a gay f----- >let him pound my ass >when he's f------ me take a FAT & JUICY S--- and shove into urethra good idea?

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Anon gets political | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN 38 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)20:35:46 No.905106559 >be me >at psych hospital floridly psychotic >get sent to isolation room >think if I can hit matter hard enough it can alter it's cell structure weakening it >idea.png >slam head into concrete a couple times before realizing the matter is adapting, change tactics >take finger nails and try cutting a circle out of the wall with fingers >nothing happens >I get a needle rammed in my ass and wake up, discharged a week later > Feel things in my right hand that are touching left >neurologist tells me I have brain damage >The election was stolen, Trump 2024
: Anonymous MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN 38 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)20:35:46 No.905106559 >be me >at psych hospital floridly psychotic >get sent to isolation room >think if I can hit matter hard enough it can alter it's cell structure weakening it >idea.png >slam head into concrete a couple times before realizing the matter is adapting, change tactics >take finger nails and try cutting a circle out of the wall with fingers >nothing happens >I get a needle rammed in my ass and wake up, discharged a week later > Feel things in my right hand that are touching left >neurologist tells me I have brain damage >The election was stolen, Trump 2024

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I loved this scene in the movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)06:51:20 No.189209738 Hangman.jpg 492 KB JPG N GGER PUFA >No I'm afraid the word does NOT contain the letter I and I'm appalled that you'd say such a word in front of all these good people, Mr. Bond! We'll have to take comfort in that at least that was your last guess and you've now been Hanged. Or would you perhaps be more comfortable if I said Lynched? >>189210167 # >>189215546 #
: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)06:51:20 No.189209738 Hangman.jpg 492 KB JPG N GGER PUFA >No I'm afraid the word does NOT contain the letter I and I'm appalled that you'd say such a word in front of all these good people, Mr. Bond! We'll have to take comfort in that at least that was your last guess and you've now been Hanged. Or would you perhaps be more comfortable if I said Lynched? >>189210167 # >>189215546 #

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Bowser is best girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/23/18(Sun)22:13:47 No.432751623 File: 2dd.jpg (37 KB, 600x600) >>432751802 >>432751863 >>432752283 >>432750294 # The more I thought about it the more realized why this took off so fast. >Bowser is big, strong and assertive when it comes to romance >Bowser acts self confident, but often is worried about looking good, suggesting insecurity >Bowser is a romantic, who in the past made plans for dinner dates, and wants a perfect marriage >Is antagonistic and mean sometimes, but in a dorky endearing way Bowser has been best girl this entire god damned time.
Anonymous 09/23/18(Sun)22:13:47 No.432751623 File: 2dd.jpg (37 KB, 600x600) >>432751802 >>432751863 >>432752283 >>432750294 # The more I thought about it the more realized why this took off so fast. >Bowser is big, strong and assertive when it comes to romance >Bowser acts self confident, but often is worried about looking good, suggesting insecurity >Bowser is a romantic, who in the past made plans for dinner dates, and wants a perfect marriage >Is antagonistic and mean sometimes, but in a dorky endearing way Bowser has been best girl this entire god damned time.

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Threesome with tapeworm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 957 KB JPG 08/26/23(Sat) 19:23:06 No.4602323 >Hey, Anon! You said you wanted to bring us back to your place? You said you had a pet, right? Thats so cool I love animals, can you show me? What do, /an/? 08/27/23(Sun)17:51:07 No.4602996 : Anonymous >>4602323 (OP) # >Get home >Tell her to rub my belly >"That's Alex, my beloved tapeworm, I feed it and it keeps me in shape!" >"Who's a good hermaphrodite? Who's a good hermaphrodite? You are!"
: Anonymous 957 KB JPG 08/26/23(Sat) 19:23:06 No.4602323 >Hey, Anon! You said you wanted to bring us back to your place? You said you had a pet, right? Thats so cool I love animals, can you show me? What do, /an/? 08/27/23(Sun)17:51:07 No.4602996 : Anonymous >>4602323 (OP) # >Get home >Tell her to rub my belly >"That's Alex, my beloved tapeworm, I feed it and it keeps me in shape!" >"Who's a good hermaphrodite? Who's a good hermaphrodite? You are!"

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Anon's crazy bih story | /r/Greentext

13h (8/28 0:55) 74534408 3 Replies >>74531576 (OP) >have gf >new girl appears at work >tells me she knows my gf and all the drama she comes with, hates her. >gf knows her but doesn't say anything else. >"huh, weird" >couple months later, she wants to break up. >devastated because I loved this girl, came out of nowhere. >sitting depressed at work. >new girl knows exactly what happened. >comforts me, "I knew this would happen. That bitch!". : >we get to the end of the shift, I turn everything off and see everyone off. Sit in the office and count petty cash. >hear a knocking on the back door. >it's new girl. >let her in and she helps me finish up in the office. >thank her for putting up with my mood. >she puts her hand on my cheek and pulls me in. >kiss. >my primal instincts take over. >clear the computer desk and sit her on it >we strip as we ravish each other. Neck kissing, caressing, stroking. >she slides her pants down as I unbutton my jeans. >stop. >"what am I doing!?" >begs me to f--- her, we've come this far after all. >look at her and something feels off. >"what is this all about?" I ask her. >outright admits she's a better f--- that my trash ex of mine. >"So you're doing this to get back at her for something!?" >doesn't answer, locks her legs around me and tells me to f--- her. >break her grip, start getting dressed and tell her to go. >she gets dressed and leaves without saying anything. >walk home realising I was just manipulated for sex. Me and my ex started talking again and I admitted this to her one night. She told me new girl was a very manipulative person, I still wasn't told what happened between them but I was right about her using me to get to my ex, I haven't seen new girl since and I'm glad honestly. Will never let myself stoop so low for someone else's plans.
13h (8/28 0:55) 74534408 3 Replies >>74531576 (OP) >have gf >new girl appears at work >tells me she knows my gf and all the drama she comes with, hates her. >gf knows her but doesn't say anything else. >"huh, weird" >couple months later, she wants to break up. >devastated because I loved this girl, came out of nowhere. >sitting depressed at work. >new girl knows exactly what happened. >comforts me, "I knew this would happen. That bitch!". : >we get to the end of the shift, I turn everything off and see everyone off. Sit in the office and count petty cash. >hear a knocking on the back door. >it's new girl. >let her in and she helps me finish up in the office. >thank her for putting up with my mood. >she puts her hand on my cheek and pulls me in. >kiss. >my primal instincts take over. >clear the computer desk and sit her on it >we strip as we ravish each other. Neck kissing, caressing, stroking. >she slides her pants down as I unbutton my jeans. >stop. >"what am I doing!?" >begs me to f--- her, we've come this far after all. >look at her and something feels off. >"what is this all about?" I ask her. >outright admits she's a better f--- that my trash ex of mine. >"So you're doing this to get back at her for something!?" >doesn't answer, locks her legs around me and tells me to f--- her. >break her grip, start getting dressed and tell her to go. >she gets dressed and leaves without saying anything. >walk home realising I was just manipulated for sex. Me and my ex started talking again and I admitted this to her one night. She told me new girl was a very manipulative person, I still wasn't told what happened between them but I was right about her using me to get to my ex, I haven't seen new girl since and I'm glad honestly. Will never let myself stoop so low for someone else's plans.

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Anon realizes that depression is cringe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/06/21(Thu)20:52:32 No.853820308 >be me ? >have deppression 1 Reply >go to hospital for suicidal thoughts >got meds that never worked >realize deppression is cringe >litteraly just decide to not have it anymore >mfw it f------ worked View Thread
Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/06/21(Thu)20:52:32 No.853820308 >be me ? >have deppression 1 Reply >go to hospital for suicidal thoughts >got meds that never worked >realize deppression is cringe >litteraly just decide to not have it anymore >mfw it f------ worked View Thread

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There's no winning for anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 190 KB PNG 04/25/23(Tue)12:08:47 No.73087461 >HR tells me to be more "energetic" at workplace >start talking more to people >send more emails to bosses >give everyone a sandwich at Friday >access the others' works to help fixing them >HR gives reports for employee of the month >my result is "borderline mentally unstable"
Anonymous 190 KB PNG 04/25/23(Tue)12:08:47 No.73087461 >HR tells me to be more "energetic" at workplace >start talking more to people >send more emails to bosses >give everyone a sandwich at Friday >access the others' works to help fixing them >HR gives reports for employee of the month >my result is "borderline mentally unstable"

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Anon gets punked | /r/Greentext

File: Download.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Mug thieve at large Anonymous 08/28/23 (Mon)11:52:22 No.74539539 >>74539556 >>74539594 >start new office job >free coffee in communal kitchen >sweet.jpg >grab a mug from the cupboard and get some. >later get visit from colleague >spots the mug on my desk and tells me: >"Hey, everyone brings their own mug from home. You shouldn't just take one randomly" >don't really see the problem, cupboard's usually full with mugs, but whatever >bring my favorite mug from home on friday >big thing with thick walls to keep liquids nice and warm for longer similiar to pic rel >look into the cupboard on monday >mug gone What the f---? Did I just get punked? Apparently assigned mugs only go so far until someone brings a superior mug, then it's open season. What should I do to prevent further mug-thievery?
File: Download.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Mug thieve at large Anonymous 08/28/23 (Mon)11:52:22 No.74539539 >>74539556 >>74539594 >start new office job >free coffee in communal kitchen >sweet.jpg >grab a mug from the cupboard and get some. >later get visit from colleague >spots the mug on my desk and tells me: >"Hey, everyone brings their own mug from home. You shouldn't just take one randomly" >don't really see the problem, cupboard's usually full with mugs, but whatever >bring my favorite mug from home on friday >big thing with thick walls to keep liquids nice and warm for longer similiar to pic rel >look into the cupboard on monday >mug gone What the f---? Did I just get punked? Apparently assigned mugs only go so far until someone brings a superior mug, then it's open season. What should I do to prevent further mug-thievery?

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Anon wants a statistic rating | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: p+RMXbzC Right, how do my stats look? Mold 40 KB JPG >Have money >Have friends 08/28/23 (Mon)00:23:32 No.439445049 How do my stats look? >Male, 18, Polish >Live in the UK for the last 14 years going to Uni for Biomed >5'7, sort of athletic, to weightlifting, boxing, wrestling and BJJ >been kissed multiple times by a girl before, never kissed one myself (non family, also in the last couple of years) >hugged a girl on multiple times and been hugged by one >never had a relationship, virgin I am not lossless nor hug less but still a virgin and those are my statistics. Are those good or bad?
Anonymous (ID: p+RMXbzC Right, how do my stats look? Mold 40 KB JPG >Have money >Have friends 08/28/23 (Mon)00:23:32 No.439445049 How do my stats look? >Male, 18, Polish >Live in the UK for the last 14 years going to Uni for Biomed >5'7, sort of athletic, to weightlifting, boxing, wrestling and BJJ >been kissed multiple times by a girl before, never kissed one myself (non family, also in the last couple of years) >hugged a girl on multiple times and been hugged by one >never had a relationship, virgin I am not lossless nor hug less but still a virgin and those are my statistics. Are those good or bad?

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Anon retains his semen | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_2769.jpg (88 KB, 1280x720) Semen Retention Timeline Semen retention question Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:17:12 No.72073997 >>72074041 >>72074064 >>72074241 >>72074249 >>72074426 >>72074729 >>72075118 >>72076054 >been practicing semen retention for around 6 weeks now >stomach hurts like hell and breath smells like s--- constantly >unironically dread orgasms and I've stopped masturbating bc I hate the taste/feel of it going down How many loads did you guys retain before it started getting easier to manage? Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:24:09 No.72074041 File: IMG_2771.jpg (363 KB, 1200x628) Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:27:01 No.72074064 File: IMG_2772.jpg (9 KB, 223x226) >>72073997 (OP) AYOOO THIS N---- IS SWALLOWING HIS OWN C-- >>72073997 (OP) how exactly are you retaining your semen?
File: IMG_2769.jpg (88 KB, 1280x720) Semen Retention Timeline Semen retention question Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:17:12 No.72073997 >>72074041 >>72074064 >>72074241 >>72074249 >>72074426 >>72074729 >>72075118 >>72076054 >been practicing semen retention for around 6 weeks now >stomach hurts like hell and breath smells like s--- constantly >unironically dread orgasms and I've stopped masturbating bc I hate the taste/feel of it going down How many loads did you guys retain before it started getting easier to manage? Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:24:09 No.72074041 File: IMG_2771.jpg (363 KB, 1200x628) Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:27:01 No.72074064 File: IMG_2772.jpg (9 KB, 223x226) >>72073997 (OP) AYOOO THIS N---- IS SWALLOWING HIS OWN C-- >>72073997 (OP) how exactly are you retaining your semen?

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Anon runs... | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Tired of doing nothing but sitting on my ass and getting fat >See a video of a guy who runs everyday as long as he can for a year and becomes fit >I decide that I should at least try >Right then, I set an alarm on my phone to trigger everyday at 5 to remind me to run no matter what >Through rain, snow, or hellfire, I ran and will continue to run 73 KB JPG >Feel happy and accomplished everyday after >start sleeping better >have more energy >only been a week Im having such a good time, /b/. I feel like it can only get better from here. 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 09/19/18 (Wed)16:33:09 No.780279320 Go on anon, we know you can do It, be Happy and be good for you
>Be me >Tired of doing nothing but sitting on my ass and getting fat >See a video of a guy who runs everyday as long as he can for a year and becomes fit >I decide that I should at least try >Right then, I set an alarm on my phone to trigger everyday at 5 to remind me to run no matter what >Through rain, snow, or hellfire, I ran and will continue to run 73 KB JPG >Feel happy and accomplished everyday after >start sleeping better >have more energy >only been a week Im having such a good time, /b/. I feel like it can only get better from here. 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 09/19/18 (Wed)16:33:09 No.780279320 Go on anon, we know you can do It, be Happy and be good for you

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Its good to have a hobby | /r/Greentext

03/24/22(Thu)14:08:41 No.52627916 Anonymous >>52627703 # Use her social media. I love tiktok. Women share so much on tiktok these days. Do they have a dog? Do they live in an apartment? Do they live on the ground floor? How long is their hair? Do they live with their parents? Do they live alone? I see it all. I love to watch They link their Instagram, it's all public, such nice hair, they post stories. You can figure out where they live, look at the reflection from the mirror in this video, spot a large building out the window that video, I see it all, I keep a spreadsheet. I draw little floor plans and maps of their apartments and homes from their videos, it's a hobby, it's harmless Do they stay up late, when do they sleep? Watch her stories, she's out celebrating with friends, nobody is home, plenty of closet space to hide in, wait til they come home, fall asleep, maybe touch her hair, maybe cut some off, I collect it, very nice hair, she's asleer, they never know, you can take lots. >>52627998 # >>52628359 # >>52629333 # >>52629916 # >>52630544 # >>52633165 # >>52633223 # >>52634534 # >>52634837 #
03/24/22(Thu)14:08:41 No.52627916 Anonymous >>52627703 # Use her social media. I love tiktok. Women share so much on tiktok these days. Do they have a dog? Do they live in an apartment? Do they live on the ground floor? How long is their hair? Do they live with their parents? Do they live alone? I see it all. I love to watch They link their Instagram, it's all public, such nice hair, they post stories. You can figure out where they live, look at the reflection from the mirror in this video, spot a large building out the window that video, I see it all, I keep a spreadsheet. I draw little floor plans and maps of their apartments and homes from their videos, it's a hobby, it's harmless Do they stay up late, when do they sleep? Watch her stories, she's out celebrating with friends, nobody is home, plenty of closet space to hide in, wait til they come home, fall asleep, maybe touch her hair, maybe cut some off, I collect it, very nice hair, she's asleer, they never know, you can take lots. >>52627998 # >>52628359 # >>52629333 # >>52629916 # >>52630544 # >>52633165 # >>52633223 # >>52634534 # >>52634837 #

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Anon transitions from being a cuck to gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 08/26/23(Sat) 20:37:53 No.74518502 >23 year old asian khf >have bleach/qoh fetish >whenever i see girls of any race i think about them being dominated by a white guy >makes me rock hard everytime >gotten to the point where thinking about white men is getting me hard why did god make me this way
: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 08/26/23(Sat) 20:37:53 No.74518502 >23 year old asian khf >have bleach/qoh fetish >whenever i see girls of any race i think about them being dominated by a white guy >makes me rock hard everytime >gotten to the point where thinking about white men is getting me hard why did god make me this way

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Anon has a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 261 KB JPG 04/03/21(Sat)07:02:00 No.851171259 What is wrong with my girlfriend, /b/? There's gotta be something psychologically going on, right? >She doesn't let me have female friends >Gets upset when I even mention other women in stories >Has climbed my fence, went through my doggy door, and tried to break into my window when I didn't wanna see her >Called me 100 times until I blocked her, did the *67 thing to turn off caller ID and called an times 100 >Has tried to an hero multiple times because she believed I was leaving her >Has threatened to kill certain women in my life, usually saying she'll stab them. Also threatens to vandalize their property >Says she wouldn't feel bad if *a handful of people she claims did her wrong* died, sometimes says she'd kill them if she could get away with it >Literally has no friends, I'm the only person her world seems to revolve around >Love bombs the F--- out of me before acting crazy >Makes morbid jokes. Like saying she'll kill our cat, turn him into a chili and feed him to me >Always always always wants sex. Constantly horny
Anonymous 261 KB JPG 04/03/21(Sat)07:02:00 No.851171259 What is wrong with my girlfriend, /b/? There's gotta be something psychologically going on, right? >She doesn't let me have female friends >Gets upset when I even mention other women in stories >Has climbed my fence, went through my doggy door, and tried to break into my window when I didn't wanna see her >Called me 100 times until I blocked her, did the *67 thing to turn off caller ID and called an times 100 >Has tried to an hero multiple times because she believed I was leaving her >Has threatened to kill certain women in my life, usually saying she'll stab them. Also threatens to vandalize their property >Says she wouldn't feel bad if *a handful of people she claims did her wrong* died, sometimes says she'd kill them if she could get away with it >Literally has no friends, I'm the only person her world seems to revolve around >Love bombs the F--- out of me before acting crazy >Makes morbid jokes. Like saying she'll kill our cat, turn him into a chili and feed him to me >Always always always wants sex. Constantly horny

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Anon Thinks Turkey is Good for Travel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous C+ 50 KB JPG 08/08/21(Sun)17:12:54 No.2072840 >cheap as f--- >sunny >attractive women >good food >no lockdowns, not hard to get in Why the f--- are you not in Turkey right now? 87 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous C+ 50 KB JPG 08/08/21(Sun)17:12:54 No.2072840 >cheap as f--- >sunny >attractive women >good food >no lockdowns, not hard to get in Why the f--- are you not in Turkey right now? 87 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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