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Cursed quest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)09:28:23 No.66102307 >be me about 5 years ago >sit next to the weird Polish kid in secondary school science >tell him about my explorations of the dark web >He asks me what kind of illegal stuff is on there 13 KB JPG >Go through the list and he stops me at Cheese Pizza >asks me where he can find that >I say I don't know because I don't look for it >he says he wants to find it because he would prefer jacking off to people aged 14-16 >He literally comes back to me every day telling me of his search for chese pizza >mfw : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)09:41:24 No.66102423 >>66102307 (OP) # you should have beaten him to death with a battery in a sock.
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)09:28:23 No.66102307 >be me about 5 years ago >sit next to the weird Polish kid in secondary school science >tell him about my explorations of the dark web >He asks me what kind of illegal stuff is on there 13 KB JPG >Go through the list and he stops me at Cheese Pizza >asks me where he can find that >I say I don't know because I don't look for it >he says he wants to find it because he would prefer jacking off to people aged 14-16 >He literally comes back to me every day telling me of his search for chese pizza >mfw : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)09:41:24 No.66102423 >>66102307 (OP) # you should have beaten him to death with a battery in a sock.

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A dim bulb brightens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)07:46:07 No.66101408 >be me >bored >lurk on crystalcafe >observe female behavior out of pure curiosity >tfw I realize they talk just like us minus the jargon differences 7 KB JPG >tfw they're literally human Holy f------ s---. My whole worldview has just been shattered. I'm utterly ruined. I've just now realized I've been projecting my negative qualities onto the opposite sex without even acknowledging it. Incelbros what do I do now? : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)07:49:55 No.66101434 Upvoted! That's some great reddit content right there! >>66101520 #
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)07:46:07 No.66101408 >be me >bored >lurk on crystalcafe >observe female behavior out of pure curiosity >tfw I realize they talk just like us minus the jargon differences 7 KB JPG >tfw they're literally human Holy f------ s---. My whole worldview has just been shattered. I'm utterly ruined. I've just now realized I've been projecting my negative qualities onto the opposite sex without even acknowledging it. Incelbros what do I do now? : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)07:49:55 No.66101434 Upvoted! That's some great reddit content right there! >>66101520 #

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Anon done did it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/19(Wed)16:46:41 No.811959173 >be me >white boy from USA >visiting Mexico >one night trying to sleep honk >3 AM and a bunch of f----- b------ with instruments roll through >loudest f------ s--- ever 77 KB JPG >pisses me right tf off >lean out the window and shout QUIETE PUTAS >friend comes running up stairs >ANON W-- ARE YOU DOING > I'm like what >he says THATS THE TOWNS BIGGEST DRUG LORD OVER THERE AND THAT BAND WAS PLAYING FOR HIM >look outside and see everyone has put away their instruments and replaced them with guns >this is it boys >today I take the fight to the b------ Mfw I realize this is it Mfw this will be my last greentext
: Anonymous 10/16/19(Wed)16:46:41 No.811959173 >be me >white boy from USA >visiting Mexico >one night trying to sleep honk >3 AM and a bunch of f----- b------ with instruments roll through >loudest f------ s--- ever 77 KB JPG >pisses me right tf off >lean out the window and shout QUIETE PUTAS >friend comes running up stairs >ANON W-- ARE YOU DOING > I'm like what >he says THATS THE TOWNS BIGGEST DRUG LORD OVER THERE AND THAT BAND WAS PLAYING FOR HIM >look outside and see everyone has put away their instruments and replaced them with guns >this is it boys >today I take the fight to the b------ Mfw I realize this is it Mfw this will be my last greentext

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Anon creates potential future issues | /r/Greentext

>played Red Dead Redemption with autistic 8yo step-sister >all she did was walk around skinning animals and giggling >mfw she killed a prostitute and asked me why she couldn't skin 1.48 MB GIF her
>played Red Dead Redemption with autistic 8yo step-sister >all she did was walk around skinning animals and giggling >mfw she killed a prostitute and asked me why she couldn't skin 1.48 MB GIF her

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Anon is a kung foo fighter | /r/Greentext

Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0
Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0

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Anon likes Dragonflies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/21(Tue)13:35:21 No.3944815 Dragonflies are some of my favorite invertebrates, and I'll explain why. >go fishing up north >a place called moon river in the georgian bay area, very beautiful with all the amazing rock formations 216 KB JPG >a bit of a pain in the ass because we had horse flies chasing us the whole time and being a real pain in the ass >end up coming onto a rock face where there was almost a swarm of dragonflies >they ended up f------ aerial assaulting the flies and eating them >was literally watching them take them out of the sky like dog fighters I don't even know what to say... Dragonflies, you are BASED. 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 10/05/21(Tue)13:35:21 No.3944815 Dragonflies are some of my favorite invertebrates, and I'll explain why. >go fishing up north >a place called moon river in the georgian bay area, very beautiful with all the amazing rock formations 216 KB JPG >a bit of a pain in the ass because we had horse flies chasing us the whole time and being a real pain in the ass >end up coming onto a rock face where there was almost a swarm of dragonflies >they ended up f------ aerial assaulting the flies and eating them >was literally watching them take them out of the sky like dog fighters I don't even know what to say... Dragonflies, you are BASED. 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Start trying to make fetch happen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)04:30:35 No.66100083 >in vc with egirl in a discord server >everyone left, its just us >i ask her to add me on steam >"no" >???? >"why?" >"i just wanted to add you?" 227 KB JPG >she goes quiet for a second >"beg." >"what" >"if you really want me to add you then beg me for it" >IMMEDIATE BONER guys i think there's something wrong with me
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)04:30:35 No.66100083 >in vc with egirl in a discord server >everyone left, its just us >i ask her to add me on steam >"no" >???? >"why?" >"i just wanted to add you?" 227 KB JPG >she goes quiet for a second >"beg." >"what" >"if you really want me to add you then beg me for it" >IMMEDIATE BONER guys i think there's something wrong with me

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Anon chats with his coworkers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

File: Suicidal-Ideations-tout.jpg (384 KB, 2433x1622) O Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)10:37:12 No.866391924 866392136 >be me >depressed teen >everyone always saying it gets better >become 18 >things still not better >decides if things don't get better by the time I am 30 to end it >actively pursues things such as therapy, meds, exercise, diet etc >become 29, still depressed >life still not worth living Going for a last chance treatment where they will shock my brain, birthday is in a couple of months. Wish me luck. Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)10:38:08 No.866391973 >>866392136 did you try not to give a f---?
File: Suicidal-Ideations-tout.jpg (384 KB, 2433x1622) O Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)10:37:12 No.866391924 866392136 >be me >depressed teen >everyone always saying it gets better >become 18 >things still not better >decides if things don't get better by the time I am 30 to end it >actively pursues things such as therapy, meds, exercise, diet etc >become 29, still depressed >life still not worth living Going for a last chance treatment where they will shock my brain, birthday is in a couple of months. Wish me luck. Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)10:38:08 No.866391973 >>866392136 did you try not to give a f---?

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Anon hates his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)21:08:51 No.854202562 >be me >in science class >class is getting off track because it's the end of the day >somehow in the middle of the 131 KB PNG conversation this one girl absolutely roasts the s--- out of me >l'm embarrassed and try to just be cool until the conversation moves on >teacher looks at me and goes "you can tell he's trying to think of a comeback" >I say I'm not but the teacher has the whole class be silent and stare at me expecting a comeback >I spit out something and everyone pity claps I sill remember this years later. Mr. Jenkins if you're reading this, f--- you.
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)21:08:51 No.854202562 >be me >in science class >class is getting off track because it's the end of the day >somehow in the middle of the 131 KB PNG conversation this one girl absolutely roasts the s--- out of me >l'm embarrassed and try to just be cool until the conversation moves on >teacher looks at me and goes "you can tell he's trying to think of a comeback" >I say I'm not but the teacher has the whole class be silent and stare at me expecting a comeback >I spit out something and everyone pity claps I sill remember this years later. Mr. Jenkins if you're reading this, f--- you.

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Anon has quick reflexes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/18(Sun)18:29:51 No.46182766 >Be me First time on tinder >match with two grils instantly >stacy texts first >w-- >She lives less than a mile >Panic.jpg >Delete the app 156 KB JPG >Mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/18(Sun)18:31:36 No.46182794 She liked you, you mental f------ retard.
: Anonymous 06/17/18(Sun)18:29:51 No.46182766 >Be me First time on tinder >match with two grils instantly >stacy texts first >w-- >She lives less than a mile >Panic.jpg >Delete the app 156 KB JPG >Mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/18(Sun)18:31:36 No.46182794 She liked you, you mental f------ retard.

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Anon makes protein shakes | /r/Greentext

Weird s--- you did in high school >had a fwb agreement with a female hockey player at my school >asian, built af >l would come to all her games so she could suck me off in the bathroom for a "protein shot" >pic related, me in the stands with empty nuts watching her club the s--- out of studs and bitches I didn't like >on big games she'd make me c-- twice whether I wanted to or not 310.1 kB JPG >said s--- like "I make you c-- twice, I win gold medal!" In Engrish because she knew I thought it was hot >forced me to make her "game shakes" >honey, water, cucumber and c-- >friends found out about it >would shout "BUTTERS CREAMY GOO!!" At me in the hallway >don't regret it, but she got me hooked on muscle girls for life
Weird s--- you did in high school >had a fwb agreement with a female hockey player at my school >asian, built af >l would come to all her games so she could suck me off in the bathroom for a "protein shot" >pic related, me in the stands with empty nuts watching her club the s--- out of studs and bitches I didn't like >on big games she'd make me c-- twice whether I wanted to or not 310.1 kB JPG >said s--- like "I make you c-- twice, I win gold medal!" In Engrish because she knew I thought it was hot >forced me to make her "game shakes" >honey, water, cucumber and c-- >friends found out about it >would shout "BUTTERS CREAMY GOO!!" At me in the hallway >don't regret it, but she got me hooked on muscle girls for life

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Anon works smart | /r/Greentext

: Anon professional gamer 02/01/21(Mon)12:01:36 No.542673565 > be me > 12 years old > what do you want to be when you grow up anon? >i like video games > that's a hobby not a career anon > fast fwd 10 years 29 KB JPG > twitch gamers make more than my desk job butyousaid.jpg > pandemic begins outside > anon you no longer need to report to the office. pls work from home lennyface.txt > be wednesday >i could finalize this report or I could prestige in warzone > set Skype to Active play 8 games in 6 hours > clock out for dinner at 5pm > that's $14 a game > mfw i am professional gamer
: Anon professional gamer 02/01/21(Mon)12:01:36 No.542673565 > be me > 12 years old > what do you want to be when you grow up anon? >i like video games > that's a hobby not a career anon > fast fwd 10 years 29 KB JPG > twitch gamers make more than my desk job butyousaid.jpg > pandemic begins outside > anon you no longer need to report to the office. pls work from home lennyface.txt > be wednesday >i could finalize this report or I could prestige in warzone > set Skype to Active play 8 games in 6 hours > clock out for dinner at 5pm > that's $14 a game > mfw i am professional gamer

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Anon is a Russian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)23:53:53 No.851927469 > be me, russian > homophobic and transphobic > go to r/worldnews on re**it > "Putin bans same sex marriage and trans people can no longer adopt children" > comment one word showing my 87 KB JPG political views > based.txt > next_day.ogg > open reddit > get a dm > banned from the subreddit for reason "troll" > we do a little trolling Worth it : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)23:54:50 No.851927540 >>851927469 (OP) # Троллед!
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)23:53:53 No.851927469 > be me, russian > homophobic and transphobic > go to r/worldnews on re**it > "Putin bans same sex marriage and trans people can no longer adopt children" > comment one word showing my 87 KB JPG political views > based.txt > next_day.ogg > open reddit > get a dm > banned from the subreddit for reason "troll" > we do a little trolling Worth it : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)23:54:50 No.851927540 >>851927469 (OP) # Троллед!

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Joe spittin nut facts | /r/Greentext

>"The thing is." >Joe leans into the mic >"Fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts, man? Nuts are great for you." >"uh. yeah, I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back PREDE when I was a kid and they were in season." >"Nice, nice. Like, from a tree?" >"No, they grow in the ground." >Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise >"What!?" >His guest tries not to sound condescending >"Peanuts grow in the ground, kind of like-" >"Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie, Google "peanuts growing in ground". H--------." >"Yeah, just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >"Well." >Joe Rogan breathes heavily into the mic >"That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."
>"The thing is." >Joe leans into the mic >"Fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts, man? Nuts are great for you." >"uh. yeah, I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back PREDE when I was a kid and they were in season." >"Nice, nice. Like, from a tree?" >"No, they grow in the ground." >Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise >"What!?" >His guest tries not to sound condescending >"Peanuts grow in the ground, kind of like-" >"Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie, Google "peanuts growing in ground". H--------." >"Yeah, just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >"Well." >Joe Rogan breathes heavily into the mic >"That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."

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Plague Inc | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:21:50 No.64653353 >Noticed rats in the bushes downtown >Started leaving lots of waste food for them >Bread, cakes, meat, etc whatever I get for free from the foodbank >Top up their water bowl every day 1.56 MB WEBM I've been doing this for a couple of months and my pet ratties are getting so big! And they've got lots of little babies now too. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:24:50 No.64653370 >>64653353 (OP) # You've managed to find the most wholesome yet destructive community activity I've seen. Well done. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:28:43 No.64653391 >>64653353 (OP) # based Rat King
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:21:50 No.64653353 >Noticed rats in the bushes downtown >Started leaving lots of waste food for them >Bread, cakes, meat, etc whatever I get for free from the foodbank >Top up their water bowl every day 1.56 MB WEBM I've been doing this for a couple of months and my pet ratties are getting so big! And they've got lots of little babies now too. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:24:50 No.64653370 >>64653353 (OP) # You've managed to find the most wholesome yet destructive community activity I've seen. Well done. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:28:43 No.64653391 >>64653353 (OP) # based Rat King

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