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Someday anon, someday

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tinder greentext stories tall girl date no credit to anon

The tale of millie

Audio Version, if you want to read along.
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Audio Version, if you want to read along.
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Greentext Stories

anon does a good deed

Anonymous 05/03/18(Thu)23:33:46 No.6650212 >be me >chad wannabe >got invited to a party >s--- was cash >4 hours passed and almost everyone left already >decided to go home >see a 9/10 blonde girl passed out on the back of my pick up truck >wut.png >look for any identification on her >drove to the address i found on her id >carried her all the way to their house >her mom thanks me and prolly thought i was her bf >go home and spank my monkey to some hentai sexual harassment is not cool. how was your day bros?

Anonymous 05/03/18(Thu)23:33:46 No.6650212 >be me >chad wannabe >got invited to a party >s--- was cash >4 hours passed and almost everyone left already >decided to go home >see a 9/10 blonde girl passed out on the back of my pick up truck >wut.png >look for any identification on her >drove to the address i found on her id >carried her all the way to their house >her mom thanks me and prolly thought i was her bf >go home and spank my monkey to some hentai sexual harassment is not cool. how was your day bros?

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no credit to anon good deed chad party hentai pepe

thanks water

-File: 14665298815420.jpg (19 KB, 640x480) O Anonymous 04/04/18(Wed)20:58:42 No.764899807 [Replyl >Be Me >Thirsty >Drink water >Thirsty no more >Thanks water

-File: 14665298815420.jpg (19 KB, 640x480) O Anonymous 04/04/18(Wed)20:58:42 No.764899807 [Replyl >Be Me >Thirsty >Drink water >Thirsty no more >Thanks water

Greentext Stories

thirst water thanks

God bless this anon

P.S. I'm not sure if this is a repost

P.S. I'm not sure if this is a repost

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/k/ blind blind gf halo 4 no credit to anon proposal marriage

How to grow crystals

Surprised this wasn't in the gallery when I went looking for it

Surprised this wasn't in the gallery when I went looking for it

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4chan crystals chemistry stay in school

Anon wears a burka. And this totally happened.

File (45 KB, 627x400) 口Bradley 03/29/16(Tue)13:43:56 No.27489824 > >>27489889 >>27489940>>27489981 >227490052 be me kissless virgin >27 years old live with mom so socially anxious that I can't leave the house without covering my face >terrified someone will make unobstructed eye contact wear a burka when going out one day walking down the street in my burka going to gas station to buy some MtDevw someone shouts that I am a terrorist and throws a beer bottle at me from their truck fuckthathurts.jpg a cop across the street sees and gives chase pulls him over, yanks him out of the truck, handcuffs him justice.tt cop waves me over maam, do you want to press charges? shitsrealnow.wav >bitch out, say no next day see police reports in local newspaper guy was charged with a hate crime for assaulting a minority >mfw I'm a white male

File (45 KB, 627x400) 口Bradley 03/29/16(Tue)13:43:56 No.27489824 > >>27489889 >>27489940>>27489981 >227490052 be me kissless virgin >27 years old live with mom so socially anxious that I can't leave the house without covering my face >terrified someone will make unobstructed eye contact wear a burka when going out one day walking down the street in my burka going to gas station to buy some MtDevw someone shouts that I am a terrorist and throws a beer bottle at me from their truck fuckthathurts.jpg a cop across the street sees and gives chase pulls him over, yanks him out of the truck, handcuffs him justice.tt cop waves me over maam, do you want to press charges? shitsrealnow.wav >bitch out, say no next day see police reports in local newspaper guy was charged with a hate crime for assaulting a minority >mfw I'm a white male

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4chan burka muslim white male hate crime minorities

Anon had a Dad

File: dad.jpg (78 KB, 717x550) File 1299418496.ipg-(23 KB, 399x382, DAD-SON1.jpg) ロ曰回Anonymous 03/06/11 (Sun)08:34:56 No.314002202 >>had the best dad of the world >>always used to play with me after work, really loved me and my bro >>one day, i came back from elementary school s>mom was all furious and angry and stuff >> i asked what happened and where dad is >> she told me he broke up with her, got another woman and a kid >> didnt understand the world s> dad would never do such a thing >> went to my room, after 5 hours i realised dad would not come back >> was really sad, started crying and stuff >> one month passed, not a single sign from dad >> the next 3 months, sadness changed to anger >> how could he just leave me without even saying goodbye >> years passed, started to forgot about him >> already had a familiy and own childs, loved them really much >> the more i loved my children, the more i could not understand how he could have done that to me >> one day, my aunt called me saying my dad was about to die of cancer >> didnt give a flying f---, he forgot me >> later my wife told me i had to go to visit him s> arrived at hometown hospital >> everybody was there, even my mom for some reason >> everybody was crying, he just died. >> did not shed a single tear >> 3 days later, my mom gave me an f------ huge basket full of letters >>said that it was from my dad to me and she was sorry that she didn't gave them to me >> my heart crushed >> moments of silence, then went banana and hit mom in face and stuff s> later went to dads flat to take things and stuff >> there was no f------ other family > it was a one-man-flat, one bed s> and in the middle of the living room ss in the middle of the living room >there was a picture of my brother, my mom and me

File: dad.jpg (78 KB, 717x550) File 1299418496.ipg-(23 KB, 399x382, DAD-SON1.jpg) ロ曰回Anonymous 03/06/11 (Sun)08:34:56 No.314002202 >>had the best dad of the world >>always used to play with me after work, really loved me and my bro >>one day, i came back from elementary school s>mom was all furious and angry and stuff >> i asked what happened and where dad is >> she told me he broke up with her, got another woman and a kid >> didnt understand the world s> dad would never do such a thing >> went to my room, after 5 hours i realised dad would not come back >> was really sad, started crying and stuff >> one month passed, not a single sign from dad >> the next 3 months, sadness changed to anger >> how could he just leave me without even saying goodbye >> years passed, started to forgot about him >> already had a familiy and own childs, loved them really much >> the more i loved my children, the more i could not understand how he could have done that to me >> one day, my aunt called me saying my dad was about to die of cancer >> didnt give a flying f---, he forgot me >> later my wife told me i had to go to visit him s> arrived at hometown hospital >> everybody was there, even my mom for some reason >> everybody was crying, he just died. >> did not shed a single tear >> 3 days later, my mom gave me an f------ huge basket full of letters >>said that it was from my dad to me and she was sorry that she didn't gave them to me >> my heart crushed >> moments of silence, then went banana and hit mom in face and stuff s> later went to dads flat to take things and stuff >> there was no f------ other family > it was a one-man-flat, one bed s> and in the middle of the living room ss in the middle of the living room >there was a picture of my brother, my mom and me

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green text stories childhood 4chan feels

Just Like Yeezy

Anonymous No.52246692 6 hours ago T T: times you acted like Yeezy >Be me invited to family Christmas dinner >Show up two hours late, family already eating "Anon, we waited an hour for you to show up!" ShoutYou should be honored by my lateness! That I would even show up to this fake s---!" "Anon, sit down and eat >Start popping Rosé over the Christmas ham yelling Tonight, we gone do everything that the Kan like! Dad and uncle throw me out Yell "No one man should have all this power!" Go home to cry and write a bunch of songs with references to suicide 3 replies

Anonymous No.52246692 6 hours ago T T: times you acted like Yeezy >Be me invited to family Christmas dinner >Show up two hours late, family already eating "Anon, we waited an hour for you to show up!" ShoutYou should be honored by my lateness! That I would even show up to this fake s---!" "Anon, sit down and eat >Start popping Rosé over the Christmas ham yelling Tonight, we gone do everything that the Kan like! Dad and uncle throw me out Yell "No one man should have all this power!" Go home to cry and write a bunch of songs with references to suicide 3 replies

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yeezy kanye gay fish fish sticks

Women are a Meme

File: 5135301macca-face16 1ipg (21 KB, 355x500) Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)06:02:42 No. 50761868 File: uwot.png (126 KB, 251x250) Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:51:51 No.50768445 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)03:14:08 No. 50759861 >>50759888>>50759995 >>50762022 50767542 >>50767716 50760690 we are now the uncontested heavyweight champions in shitposting, move over s4s >Talking about the Beatles with a grill > Tell her I find them quite good just a little overrated >She goes into a fit about how I 'don't get it and how I probably only know one or two songs > Tell her that I have listened to the entire discography multiple times >Well anon if you actually did then you cannot possibly think like that!! >50760690 women are a meme what have my sides done to deserve this punishment? Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:53:42 No.50768502 File: 1408137255865.ipg (84 KB, 768x1024) Why do people flip s--- if you even dare to question the Beatles? 50760690 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)04:19:29 No.5076069050760724 50761390 50761485 50761686 5076169050761704 50761716 50761833 50761868 50761947 5076198650762481 5076413550764811 50766233 50766354 50766537 5076688550767358 50767704 50767754 50767779 50767815 >50767848 >50768137 >50768265 >50768274 50768319 >50768347 >50768445>50768502 >50768548 women are a meme do not take them seriously you dumbass she read that like she was in a mean girls movie or something some tumblr core film probably told her the Beatles are "good" Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:44:51 No.50768274 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:23:27 No.50767754 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)05:48:02 No.50761686 File: kekingin1080p.ipg (489 KB, 1920x1080) Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:21:15 No. 50767704 ile: 1373815668452 ipg (55 KB, 346x346) glad I'm browsing /mul today This is the logical conclusion of memetics. Good job, anon >50760690 >women are a meme N---- you d 50760690 >women are a meme This is it, it's finally happened We've reached the pinnacle of post memery 1080 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:07:49 No. 50767358、2:50768246 PASIt isn't getting any better than this, guys >50760690 This is logical conclution to all those "Women and music" threads. All those endless threads summarized in 4 words "WOMEN ARE A MEME". This is history

File: 5135301macca-face16 1ipg (21 KB, 355x500) Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)06:02:42 No. 50761868 File: uwot.png (126 KB, 251x250) Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:51:51 No.50768445 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)03:14:08 No. 50759861 >>50759888>>50759995 >>50762022 50767542 >>50767716 50760690 we are now the uncontested heavyweight champions in shitposting, move over s4s >Talking about the Beatles with a grill > Tell her I find them quite good just a little overrated >She goes into a fit about how I 'don't get it and how I probably only know one or two songs > Tell her that I have listened to the entire discography multiple times >Well anon if you actually did then you cannot possibly think like that!! >50760690 women are a meme what have my sides done to deserve this punishment? Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:53:42 No.50768502 File: 1408137255865.ipg (84 KB, 768x1024) Why do people flip s--- if you even dare to question the Beatles? 50760690 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)04:19:29 No.5076069050760724 50761390 50761485 50761686 5076169050761704 50761716 50761833 50761868 50761947 5076198650762481 5076413550764811 50766233 50766354 50766537 5076688550767358 50767704 50767754 50767779 50767815 >50767848 >50768137 >50768265 >50768274 50768319 >50768347 >50768445>50768502 >50768548 women are a meme do not take them seriously you dumbass she read that like she was in a mean girls movie or something some tumblr core film probably told her the Beatles are "good" Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:44:51 No.50768274 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:23:27 No.50767754 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)05:48:02 No.50761686 File: kekingin1080p.ipg (489 KB, 1920x1080) Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:21:15 No. 50767704 ile: 1373815668452 ipg (55 KB, 346x346) glad I'm browsing /mul today This is the logical conclusion of memetics. Good job, anon >50760690 >women are a meme N---- you d 50760690 >women are a meme This is it, it's finally happened We've reached the pinnacle of post memery 1080 Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)11:07:49 No. 50767358、2:50768246 PASIt isn't getting any better than this, guys >50760690 This is logical conclution to all those "Women and music" threads. All those endless threads summarized in 4 words "WOMEN ARE A MEME". This is history

Greentext Stories

women meme legend savior

Umbrella Saga

Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:28 42 No 745707443 File: Wave's Greentext png (256 KB, 739x811) me >some m----- child takes a particular disliking to me >have always used father's or brother's take personal offence to this and proceed to find the cheapest umbrella out there a to this day half a dollar and isn't too shabby >has some fake wood handle which looks nice despite its fakeness and it's very compact- one of those flimsy retractable ones >it deploys by powerful internal spring operation short Juden is acting like he owns the place to be within range pulls out his slingshot and by chance hits me in the head with a small steel blb r you want to call it >sitting on sideline of football match waiting to play when ball flies through the air at mach 0.86 and is going to hit some anon in the face the power of the umbrella enhances my reflexes and I catch the ball on the collapsed canopy of the retracted umbrella decelerating to a stop and balancing it on the side like a ball on a bat >he is go to changing room and the Juden is noisily s--- talking other Jew tells him to stfu >Juden dismisses it and decides to start mocking my new friend's eyes jump up onto one of the benches with umbrella in hand, challenging Juden to a duel the mistround of saying I lost the war Deutschland über alles >point umbrella at his face and press the release button the umbrella impacts the centre of his melon and he is stunned, stumbling backwards into the concrete wall □ Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:32 30 No.745707609 he has hit his head and looks like he is having a stroke heh no further confrontation with Juden for a long time >fat English friend of mine sits on the umbrella inadvertently at the news of its demise return assess the damage and considering how much I enjoy fixing things I accept the challenge rule one: can only use parts which come off the umbrella to repair it and one type of glue rule three: must be repaired of damage by the following day it was incurred >tricky fix and some features were sacrificed but I arrive at school the next day triumphantly is found by many s umbrella is snatched from my grasp and used to beat someone over the head news of its second demise circulates >kid who got hit complains to the powers that be next day umbrellas now require a permit to say that they are safely designed and cannot be used as weapons or will be confiscated obtain my umbrella permit and it is registered in the school's health and safety database >fast forward four days an unsolicited game of capture the umbrella breaks out and the handle comes off among other things quickly gather the pieces to conceal the damage as I risk having my umbrella permit voided perform crude surgery on the umbrella for which I am starting to become a bit sentimental urn up next day with umbrella no longer extends properly and a locking pin is needed to secure it in the deployed position but still works umbrella has become legendary and students ask if they can hold it almost all of the teachers have no idea what is going on and those who do are believers in the umbrella's power Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:33:46 No.745707671 umbrella is the victim of a hit and run attack me and take the >news gets out and an all out banzai charge takes place with half the junior school hunting down the four seniors that took it the operation was a failure one week later the umbrella is found in a roadside drain next anon student kneels before me and returns the umbrella ceremoniously >he is rewarded for his diligence and honesty in slushie format a is critically damaged and the fabric canopy come off but I manage to repair it >umbrella is now barely functional but still it continues to prove undefeatable and my umbrella permit is still valid >two minor inversions due to wind take place over the next week and then the approaching summer no longer necessitates the presence of the umbrella sdecide to leave it at home for the duration of the summer for the sake of preservation despite many disciples of the umbrella trying to convince me otherwise fast forward four months >a freak rainstorm sparks fake news of the umbrella's second coming othe hype dies down after another two months but a buzz slowly builds as the dry season draws to a close >prophesy the return of the umbrella after the school holidays cult >copycat umbrellas appear with others attempting to capture some of my umbrella's followers but my umbrella proves to be truly unique and they uphold the ways of the one and only true umbrella >"thou shall have no other umbrellas before me one week into the semester tries to get the schoofs history club which is basically the Soviet Union club to beat the s--- out of me tries to get his older brother to beat the s--- out of me on the football pitch during lunchtime in broad view of several teachers Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:34 33 No.745707708 he is the least coordinated swings wildly at me and I don't even need to duck person two female teachers are frantically trying to arrive at the epicentre to break up the fight, one of them almost passing out from the exertion of a light jog one male teacher is seen laughing his arse off as soon as the lunatic swings swift strike to the side of his head with the umbrella which had slowly become lighter and more agile he slips in the mud, surprised at the speed of the umbrella pull out tattered umbrella permit and verify that it was deemed safe for the school and did not count as a weapon charges dropped and parents were told about the incident but no punishment was issued >Juden brother claimed he was just playing around and that it was a misunderstanding, thus avoiding his own punishment umbrella is now a mainstream meme in school and is almost confiscated on numerous occasions >teachers are beginning to realise the power of the umbrella and many seek to harness it half Japanese friend now uses the umbrella for shading himself from the sun when I need someone else to carry it teachers can do nothing to take it from him as it is used for his health and safety fast forward four weeks waitng onet appears chalans defly relieves me audible tira >a bus is pulling away from the stop, some of the students on it seeing the traumatic event unfolding whille the crowd at the stop looks on in shock >Juden-child thrusts the umbrella beneath the rear tyres of the bus and there is a sickening crunch he quickly gets into his getaway vehicle before chaos ensues, obviously having thoroughly planned the operation beforehand Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:40:25 No.745707962 hailstone the size of a tennis ball impacts the top of the metal shaft and the ball of ice shatters along with the entire umbrella wrist hurts like f--- some of the ice has gone down the back of my jacket feels then it hits me like the hailstone should have that moment when you realise that by sacrificing itself, the umbrella saved your life damage is so severe that the umbrella is now unrecognisable as having been an umbrella when the only thing that could possibly kill the umbrella after surviving years of abuse is the very thing it's designed to be able to handle man reports of the final demise of the umbrella are slow to filter into the student consciousness confirm that the umbrella had been destroyed in saving me from almost certain death the s someone tries to make a new umbrella by breaking one slightly and doing a real s--- job of fixing it it's not the same and nobody follows school morale is at an all time low eventually school life begins to move on but there is still a void which could only have been filled by the umbrella >former society members and the KGB threaten to leak each other's identities as the treaty collapses into a war of mutually assured detentions fast forward a lot to my last couple of weeks of high school find the mangled remains of what once was the umbrella down the side of my bed get chills grin kek fast forward the secret umbrella soclety is brought back together and the peace treaty with the commies is reinstated worked harder on rebuilding the umbrella than I did on any of my subjects that year last day 一() Anonymous 09 20/17(Wed)20 41 03 No.745707993 トヅ45708201 745710164 walk into final assembly very late through double doors at the back of the hal with the umbrella open over my head it's stitched together and comprised of approximately 30% of the materials it was made from and it is only semi-waterproof but it st work$ loudly hum some rap music from early 2000s the look on Juden-manlet's face the look on the dean's face the look on my face the final triumph the umbrella is given a name on that last day >it is the genuine u it is the real slim shady guess who's back

Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:28 42 No 745707443 File: Wave's Greentext png (256 KB, 739x811) me >some m----- child takes a particular disliking to me >have always used father's or brother's take personal offence to this and proceed to find the cheapest umbrella out there a to this day half a dollar and isn't too shabby >has some fake wood handle which looks nice despite its fakeness and it's very compact- one of those flimsy retractable ones >it deploys by powerful internal spring operation short Juden is acting like he owns the place to be within range pulls out his slingshot and by chance hits me in the head with a small steel blb r you want to call it >sitting on sideline of football match waiting to play when ball flies through the air at mach 0.86 and is going to hit some anon in the face the power of the umbrella enhances my reflexes and I catch the ball on the collapsed canopy of the retracted umbrella decelerating to a stop and balancing it on the side like a ball on a bat >he is go to changing room and the Juden is noisily s--- talking other Jew tells him to stfu >Juden dismisses it and decides to start mocking my new friend's eyes jump up onto one of the benches with umbrella in hand, challenging Juden to a duel the mistround of saying I lost the war Deutschland über alles >point umbrella at his face and press the release button the umbrella impacts the centre of his melon and he is stunned, stumbling backwards into the concrete wall □ Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:32 30 No.745707609 he has hit his head and looks like he is having a stroke heh no further confrontation with Juden for a long time >fat English friend of mine sits on the umbrella inadvertently at the news of its demise return assess the damage and considering how much I enjoy fixing things I accept the challenge rule one: can only use parts which come off the umbrella to repair it and one type of glue rule three: must be repaired of damage by the following day it was incurred >tricky fix and some features were sacrificed but I arrive at school the next day triumphantly is found by many s umbrella is snatched from my grasp and used to beat someone over the head news of its second demise circulates >kid who got hit complains to the powers that be next day umbrellas now require a permit to say that they are safely designed and cannot be used as weapons or will be confiscated obtain my umbrella permit and it is registered in the school's health and safety database >fast forward four days an unsolicited game of capture the umbrella breaks out and the handle comes off among other things quickly gather the pieces to conceal the damage as I risk having my umbrella permit voided perform crude surgery on the umbrella for which I am starting to become a bit sentimental urn up next day with umbrella no longer extends properly and a locking pin is needed to secure it in the deployed position but still works umbrella has become legendary and students ask if they can hold it almost all of the teachers have no idea what is going on and those who do are believers in the umbrella's power Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:33:46 No.745707671 umbrella is the victim of a hit and run attack me and take the >news gets out and an all out banzai charge takes place with half the junior school hunting down the four seniors that took it the operation was a failure one week later the umbrella is found in a roadside drain next anon student kneels before me and returns the umbrella ceremoniously >he is rewarded for his diligence and honesty in slushie format a is critically damaged and the fabric canopy come off but I manage to repair it >umbrella is now barely functional but still it continues to prove undefeatable and my umbrella permit is still valid >two minor inversions due to wind take place over the next week and then the approaching summer no longer necessitates the presence of the umbrella sdecide to leave it at home for the duration of the summer for the sake of preservation despite many disciples of the umbrella trying to convince me otherwise fast forward four months >a freak rainstorm sparks fake news of the umbrella's second coming othe hype dies down after another two months but a buzz slowly builds as the dry season draws to a close >prophesy the return of the umbrella after the school holidays cult >copycat umbrellas appear with others attempting to capture some of my umbrella's followers but my umbrella proves to be truly unique and they uphold the ways of the one and only true umbrella >"thou shall have no other umbrellas before me one week into the semester tries to get the schoofs history club which is basically the Soviet Union club to beat the s--- out of me tries to get his older brother to beat the s--- out of me on the football pitch during lunchtime in broad view of several teachers Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:34 33 No.745707708 he is the least coordinated swings wildly at me and I don't even need to duck person two female teachers are frantically trying to arrive at the epicentre to break up the fight, one of them almost passing out from the exertion of a light jog one male teacher is seen laughing his arse off as soon as the lunatic swings swift strike to the side of his head with the umbrella which had slowly become lighter and more agile he slips in the mud, surprised at the speed of the umbrella pull out tattered umbrella permit and verify that it was deemed safe for the school and did not count as a weapon charges dropped and parents were told about the incident but no punishment was issued >Juden brother claimed he was just playing around and that it was a misunderstanding, thus avoiding his own punishment umbrella is now a mainstream meme in school and is almost confiscated on numerous occasions >teachers are beginning to realise the power of the umbrella and many seek to harness it half Japanese friend now uses the umbrella for shading himself from the sun when I need someone else to carry it teachers can do nothing to take it from him as it is used for his health and safety fast forward four weeks waitng onet appears chalans defly relieves me audible tira >a bus is pulling away from the stop, some of the students on it seeing the traumatic event unfolding whille the crowd at the stop looks on in shock >Juden-child thrusts the umbrella beneath the rear tyres of the bus and there is a sickening crunch he quickly gets into his getaway vehicle before chaos ensues, obviously having thoroughly planned the operation beforehand Anonymous 09/20/17(Wed)20:40:25 No.745707962 hailstone the size of a tennis ball impacts the top of the metal shaft and the ball of ice shatters along with the entire umbrella wrist hurts like f--- some of the ice has gone down the back of my jacket feels then it hits me like the hailstone should have that moment when you realise that by sacrificing itself, the umbrella saved your life damage is so severe that the umbrella is now unrecognisable as having been an umbrella when the only thing that could possibly kill the umbrella after surviving years of abuse is the very thing it's designed to be able to handle man reports of the final demise of the umbrella are slow to filter into the student consciousness confirm that the umbrella had been destroyed in saving me from almost certain death the s someone tries to make a new umbrella by breaking one slightly and doing a real s--- job of fixing it it's not the same and nobody follows school morale is at an all time low eventually school life begins to move on but there is still a void which could only have been filled by the umbrella >former society members and the KGB threaten to leak each other's identities as the treaty collapses into a war of mutually assured detentions fast forward a lot to my last couple of weeks of high school find the mangled remains of what once was the umbrella down the side of my bed get chills grin kek fast forward the secret umbrella soclety is brought back together and the peace treaty with the commies is reinstated worked harder on rebuilding the umbrella than I did on any of my subjects that year last day 一() Anonymous 09 20/17(Wed)20 41 03 No.745707993 トヅ45708201 745710164 walk into final assembly very late through double doors at the back of the hal with the umbrella open over my head it's stitched together and comprised of approximately 30% of the materials it was made from and it is only semi-waterproof but it st work$ loudly hum some rap music from early 2000s the look on Juden-manlet's face the look on the dean's face the look on my face the final triumph the umbrella is given a name on that last day >it is the genuine u it is the real slim shady guess who's back

Greentext Stories

Tastes Like Dog Food Smells... DELICIOUS

: Anonymous 12/29/16 (Thu)00:58:27 No.716868649 >>716868649 (OP) # >My c-- smells exactly like our dog's food Short story/b be me >fapping c-- on a tissue >put it in trash My c-- smells exactly like our What the f--- man 73 KB JPG dog's food >went to bathroom came back to my room >mfw the f------ dog was chewing the tissue i just put in the trash >mfw i let the dog eat the whole tissue >dog got diarrhea the next day 81 KB JPG >>71 6872936 # :Anonymous 12/29/16(Thu)01:28:41 No.716872118 mother has no idea Anonymous 12/29/16(Thu)01:05:38 No.716869442 649 (OP)# >>716869946 # L my c-- smells exactly like our dog's food 12 KB JPG OP what is wrong with you? Anonymous 12/29/16(Thu)01:07:05 No.716869585 TAST ES 1.58 MB GIF >>71 6868649 (OP) # why the f--- does your c-- smell like dog food and cause diarrhea? t Anonymous 12/29/16(Thu)01:10:1N716869946 may the lord have mercy on your sou S> Idk why it smells and also tastes like it And diarrhea because he ate the tissue too Anonymous12/29/16(Thu)01:21:14 No.716871240 >>716869946# >Idk why it smells and also tastes like it and also tastes like it >Tastes like it 6 KB JPG tastes like it 81 KB JPG >>716872936 #

: Anonymous 12/29/16 (Thu)00:58:27 No.716868649 >>716868649 (OP) # >My c-- smells exactly like our dog's food Short story/b be me >fapping c-- on a tissue >put it in trash My c-- smells exactly like our What the f--- man 73 KB JPG dog's food >went to bathroom came back to my room >mfw the f------ dog was chewing the tissue i just put in the trash >mfw i let the dog eat the whole tissue >dog got diarrhea the next day 81 KB JPG >>71 6872936 # :Anonymous 12/29/16(Thu)01:28:41 No.716872118 mother has no idea Anonymous 12/29/16(Thu)01:05:38 No.716869442 649 (OP)# >>716869946 # L my c-- smells exactly like our dog's food 12 KB JPG OP what is wrong with you? Anonymous 12/29/16(Thu)01:07:05 No.716869585 TAST ES 1.58 MB GIF >>71 6868649 (OP) # why the f--- does your c-- smell like dog food and cause diarrhea? t Anonymous 12/29/16(Thu)01:10:1N716869946 may the lord have mercy on your sou S> Idk why it smells and also tastes like it And diarrhea because he ate the tissue too Anonymous12/29/16(Thu)01:21:14 No.716871240 >>716869946# >Idk why it smells and also tastes like it and also tastes like it >Tastes like it 6 KB JPG tastes like it 81 KB JPG >>716872936 #

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Subbeta

「Anonymous 08/09/13(Fri)21:29 No.4704327 Replies: >>4704330224705680 File: 1376098 142891 jpg-(30 KB, 400x300, Subway_Footlong_Oven_Roas(. .).jpg) GD >be at subway >walk in, stand in line, never make eye contact >girl asks what I want, I'm pretty sure she's a qt but I didn't look at her >"I want a roast beef" What kind of bread do you want"? "I already said roast beef." Trying to sound alpha by making my voice unnaturally low It comes out all husky and wavering, not what I hoped for sshe says "ooooooook" >starts making my sandwich on white bread l really wanted wheat but too beta to say anything >Try to play it off by leaning on the counter trying to look really cool and comfortable >"hey, I just cleaned that glass!!! I'm gonna have to charge you extra now!" >looking back, she was just joking around and trying to be fun >didn't realize it at the time though >cross my arms looking at the ground angrily, start clearing my throat really hard the workers are looking at me and giggling now stry to frown and furrow my brow, they can't know my true anxiety >OK what kind of veggies would you like? I only want a few veggies, too shy to go over the whole thing though I'd rather just take off what I don't like at home Pull up my gaze and look her straight in the eyes >cross my eyes a little though so she looks blurry and I can't really tell I'm making eye contact deepest, most clint eastwood type voice I anxiously grumble "1 want EVERYTHING" at this point the whole back line is laughing at me >I turn away from them and cross my arms across my chest, gazing out the front windows >she calls over my shoulder, "Everything?" >my energy is spent, I stand there and say nothing >hands are shaking, sweating now >l feel my alpha ruse is beginning to wear thin, I quickly turn around and storm to the cash register Slam a 20 on the counter so they can hear it, then get scared and try not to look at anybody >somebody rings up my order, hands me $5 something back in change > "Oh, I can't remember did you give me a 10 or 20? "KEEP THE CHANGE I growl, but my voice cracks >Actually poor >paid $15 for a sandwich

「Anonymous 08/09/13(Fri)21:29 No.4704327 Replies: >>4704330224705680 File: 1376098 142891 jpg-(30 KB, 400x300, Subway_Footlong_Oven_Roas(. .).jpg) GD >be at subway >walk in, stand in line, never make eye contact >girl asks what I want, I'm pretty sure she's a qt but I didn't look at her >"I want a roast beef" What kind of bread do you want"? "I already said roast beef." Trying to sound alpha by making my voice unnaturally low It comes out all husky and wavering, not what I hoped for sshe says "ooooooook" >starts making my sandwich on white bread l really wanted wheat but too beta to say anything >Try to play it off by leaning on the counter trying to look really cool and comfortable >"hey, I just cleaned that glass!!! I'm gonna have to charge you extra now!" >looking back, she was just joking around and trying to be fun >didn't realize it at the time though >cross my arms looking at the ground angrily, start clearing my throat really hard the workers are looking at me and giggling now stry to frown and furrow my brow, they can't know my true anxiety >OK what kind of veggies would you like? I only want a few veggies, too shy to go over the whole thing though I'd rather just take off what I don't like at home Pull up my gaze and look her straight in the eyes >cross my eyes a little though so she looks blurry and I can't really tell I'm making eye contact deepest, most clint eastwood type voice I anxiously grumble "1 want EVERYTHING" at this point the whole back line is laughing at me >I turn away from them and cross my arms across my chest, gazing out the front windows >she calls over my shoulder, "Everything?" >my energy is spent, I stand there and say nothing >hands are shaking, sweating now >l feel my alpha ruse is beginning to wear thin, I quickly turn around and storm to the cash register Slam a 20 on the counter so they can hear it, then get scared and try not to look at anybody >somebody rings up my order, hands me $5 something back in change > "Oh, I can't remember did you give me a 10 or 20? "KEEP THE CHANGE I growl, but my voice cracks >Actually poor >paid $15 for a sandwich

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Spider-Man Director's Cut

File: uncle-ben.jpg (182 KB, 1600x1204) O Anonymous 09/08/16 Thu 21:26:39 No.741 34238 274 134347 274 135614 > 74135648 >>741 36140 >-74 136699 74137080 >"You know, Peter, with great power comes great responsibility. Rudyard Kipling called it "White Man's Burden." Myself, I just call it as I see it: the reaponsibility of the master to discipline the servant." >Ben looks directly at the camera >"The n------, the spics, the chinks...It's our responsibility to civilize them. And if we can't? Then they shall dangle from the elm tree. The Day of the Rope is near, Pete. We'll have every n----- in this country dead or in chains in 10 years, and may God have me shot in a carjacking this very night if I'm wrong. God bless the American Nazi Party." I remember watching this scene in 2002 as a boy, it felt like Uncle Ben was talking right to me. Raimi was on another level with this film. Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)21:30:15 No.74134347>74134583 >>74134997 >>74136200 >>74136520 2274 134238 (OP) # that never happened Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)21:31:43 No.74134394 Great moment in film and nice twist to the original story O Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)21:38:04 No.74134583 >>74134347 # he didn't see the original cut What a pleb Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)21:45:22 No.74134820>74134987 Why did Peter r--- the landlord's daughter? l thought he was gay

File: uncle-ben.jpg (182 KB, 1600x1204) O Anonymous 09/08/16 Thu 21:26:39 No.741 34238 274 134347 274 135614 > 74135648 >>741 36140 >-74 136699 74137080 >"You know, Peter, with great power comes great responsibility. Rudyard Kipling called it "White Man's Burden." Myself, I just call it as I see it: the reaponsibility of the master to discipline the servant." >Ben looks directly at the camera >"The n------, the spics, the chinks...It's our responsibility to civilize them. And if we can't? Then they shall dangle from the elm tree. The Day of the Rope is near, Pete. We'll have every n----- in this country dead or in chains in 10 years, and may God have me shot in a carjacking this very night if I'm wrong. God bless the American Nazi Party." I remember watching this scene in 2002 as a boy, it felt like Uncle Ben was talking right to me. Raimi was on another level with this film. Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)21:30:15 No.74134347>74134583 >>74134997 >>74136200 >>74136520 2274 134238 (OP) # that never happened Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)21:31:43 No.74134394 Great moment in film and nice twist to the original story O Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)21:38:04 No.74134583 >>74134347 # he didn't see the original cut What a pleb Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)21:45:22 No.74134820>74134987 Why did Peter r--- the landlord's daughter? l thought he was gay

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raimi spider man

How to Small Talk With Cashier

please help Anonymous No.37046761 29 minutes ago Please help me r9k my life is f------ over >Mother's day yesterday Go out to buy some flowers >Picked some nice ones, at the cash register, qt3.14 cashier smiles and says "Oh, I'm sure your mother will love getting these!" Mind goes blank from seeing a qt >For some retarded reason I decide to pretend my mom died (she's alive) "Actually, she died last week" >Cashier immediately freezes "Oh I'm so sorry" >She looks legitimately upset for me, it's not like she said sorry out of politeness but she actually looks flustered, probably due to the awkward situation I created >I get upset too and feed bad for making that up oh no no no she's not actually dead >Cashier goes wut >Person behind me in line goes wut Frantically try to get out of this "uh... well she'll be dead tonight haha" whatthefuckdidljustsay cashier is in shock calls the cops Mom picks me up from the station and hears what I did now she thinksI want to kill her pic related, it's me What the f--- do I do l just wanted to get my mom some f------ flowers how did it end up like this, is suicide the only way out? Should I run away and live overseas in a lifetime of hiding?

please help Anonymous No.37046761 29 minutes ago Please help me r9k my life is f------ over >Mother's day yesterday Go out to buy some flowers >Picked some nice ones, at the cash register, qt3.14 cashier smiles and says "Oh, I'm sure your mother will love getting these!" Mind goes blank from seeing a qt >For some retarded reason I decide to pretend my mom died (she's alive) "Actually, she died last week" >Cashier immediately freezes "Oh I'm so sorry" >She looks legitimately upset for me, it's not like she said sorry out of politeness but she actually looks flustered, probably due to the awkward situation I created >I get upset too and feed bad for making that up oh no no no she's not actually dead >Cashier goes wut >Person behind me in line goes wut Frantically try to get out of this "uh... well she'll be dead tonight haha" whatthefuckdidljustsay cashier is in shock calls the cops Mom picks me up from the station and hears what I did now she thinksI want to kill her pic related, it's me What the f--- do I do l just wanted to get my mom some f------ flowers how did it end up like this, is suicide the only way out? Should I run away and live overseas in a lifetime of hiding?

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Nuclear Caterpillar

Anonymous 05/30/ 17 (Tue)05:44:18 No. 34106460器a 3 File: tent.ipg (157 KB, 1154x1154) >Dutch Air Force basic training Training exercise in Germany >We're sleeping in some Bundeswehr dome tent thing, looks kinda like pic related Instructors throw two smokes into each tent, "GAS GAS GAS", everyone expected to run outside and perform the CBRN drill + perimeter security We do a headcount at the end of the drill One guy short Turns out one dude simly put on his gasmask and stayed in his sleeping bag >sgtmaj loses his s--- End up marching through the night in full CBRN gear as punishment Replies: 34107118 Anonymous Anonymous θ5/39/ 17 (Tue ) θ5:47:40 No.34106471 04 05/30/17 (Tue)09:24:36 No.34107118 。5 OD urns out one dude simly put on his gasmask and stayed in his sleeping bag Why don't they make CBRN resistant sleeping bags anyway? hood/pillow on the s eping bag and tight the MOPP hood and then nu erpi >>34117172, □ Anonymous θ6/01/17 (Thu ) 08:47:28 No. 34125878*゜゜275 File: QCBRN sleeping bags png (154 KB, 1126x703) Replies: >>34109652, >>34109675, >>34110275, >>34110730』 >>34111738, >>34113625, >>34114327, >>34119017, >>34122048, >>34124197, >>34124273, >>34124478, p-3412587 'LI□ Anonymous06/01/17(Thu )01:29:14 No. 34124 197*00263 File: Q (4 KB, 198x200) nuclear caterpillar I tried.. Replies: 34125987, 34125994, >34126832 Anonymous θ6/01/17(Thu)09:23:54 No. 34125987*00278 File: Q (258 KB, 488x413) TOO CHEEK >Dude tactically hopping in the foreground >Dude tactically worming in the background That casualty in the wire □ Anonymous Θ5/30/17 (Tue) 18:46:39 No.34110739*0042 Nuclear caterpillar >That f------ visual Blow out soon stalker FOR THIS BREEKI Sides have entered orbit □ AusAnon Θ6/01/17 (Thu )02:09:14 No. 34 124470 xao 270 File: 1488661104261.ipg (82 KB, 960x960) nuclear caterpillar □ Anonymous θ6/01/17(Thu )09:38:12 No.34 126032XDO 282 Worms Armagedon in real life when? Anonymous 05/30/17 (Tue) 16:17:41 No.34109675 3DO7 you cant fight from a sleeping bag Replies: >>34109911。 >>34109986, >>34110884, >>34115841 □ Anonymous θ5/30/ 17 (Tue) 16:51:07 No. 341099 11X0010 File: Q ycH4uP24x60.ipg (63 KB, 403x604) Ha ha! That is where you are wrong, comrade! Replies: 34189986 Anonymous θ5/30/ 17 (Tue) 16:58:52 No. 34109986 012 An :01:57 No.34110014 31 a1 Anonymous 05/30/ 10:25 No. 34110071 01 Repties: 34110071 34111649, 34115861, 34123765 Anonymous θ5 (Wed ) Θ9:06:45 No 86 ike rdcore feminist quote rs ng Replies: 34121669 Replies: 34118934 Anonymous 05 (Wed) 16:01:06 No.34118934 3D1 I would never shoot a guy with his d--- out ats inconsiderate Anonymous 05/30/17 (Tue)18:34:54 No.34110636 336 theres room in here for two sider myself both schooled and intimidated 3411665 3412621 Anonymous Θ5/30/ 110650 8 DO3 An oom Replies: 34110014, 34110636, 341262

Anonymous 05/30/ 17 (Tue)05:44:18 No. 34106460器a 3 File: tent.ipg (157 KB, 1154x1154) >Dutch Air Force basic training Training exercise in Germany >We're sleeping in some Bundeswehr dome tent thing, looks kinda like pic related Instructors throw two smokes into each tent, "GAS GAS GAS", everyone expected to run outside and perform the CBRN drill + perimeter security We do a headcount at the end of the drill One guy short Turns out one dude simly put on his gasmask and stayed in his sleeping bag >sgtmaj loses his s--- End up marching through the night in full CBRN gear as punishment Replies: 34107118 Anonymous Anonymous θ5/39/ 17 (Tue ) θ5:47:40 No.34106471 04 05/30/17 (Tue)09:24:36 No.34107118 。5 OD urns out one dude simly put on his gasmask and stayed in his sleeping bag Why don't they make CBRN resistant sleeping bags anyway? hood/pillow on the s eping bag and tight the MOPP hood and then nu erpi >>34117172, □ Anonymous θ6/01/17 (Thu ) 08:47:28 No. 34125878*゜゜275 File: QCBRN sleeping bags png (154 KB, 1126x703) Replies: >>34109652, >>34109675, >>34110275, >>34110730』 >>34111738, >>34113625, >>34114327, >>34119017, >>34122048, >>34124197, >>34124273, >>34124478, p-3412587 'LI□ Anonymous06/01/17(Thu )01:29:14 No. 34124 197*00263 File: Q (4 KB, 198x200) nuclear caterpillar I tried.. Replies: 34125987, 34125994, >34126832 Anonymous θ6/01/17(Thu)09:23:54 No. 34125987*00278 File: Q (258 KB, 488x413) TOO CHEEK >Dude tactically hopping in the foreground >Dude tactically worming in the background That casualty in the wire □ Anonymous Θ5/30/17 (Tue) 18:46:39 No.34110739*0042 Nuclear caterpillar >That f------ visual Blow out soon stalker FOR THIS BREEKI Sides have entered orbit □ AusAnon Θ6/01/17 (Thu )02:09:14 No. 34 124470 xao 270 File: 1488661104261.ipg (82 KB, 960x960) nuclear caterpillar □ Anonymous θ6/01/17(Thu )09:38:12 No.34 126032XDO 282 Worms Armagedon in real life when? Anonymous 05/30/17 (Tue) 16:17:41 No.34109675 3DO7 you cant fight from a sleeping bag Replies: >>34109911。 >>34109986, >>34110884, >>34115841 □ Anonymous θ5/30/ 17 (Tue) 16:51:07 No. 341099 11X0010 File: Q ycH4uP24x60.ipg (63 KB, 403x604) Ha ha! That is where you are wrong, comrade! Replies: 34189986 Anonymous θ5/30/ 17 (Tue) 16:58:52 No. 34109986 012 An :01:57 No.34110014 31 a1 Anonymous 05/30/ 10:25 No. 34110071 01 Repties: 34110071 34111649, 34115861, 34123765 Anonymous θ5 (Wed ) Θ9:06:45 No 86 ike rdcore feminist quote rs ng Replies: 34121669 Replies: 34118934 Anonymous 05 (Wed) 16:01:06 No.34118934 3D1 I would never shoot a guy with his d--- out ats inconsiderate Anonymous 05/30/17 (Tue)18:34:54 No.34110636 336 theres room in here for two sider myself both schooled and intimidated 3411665 3412621 Anonymous Θ5/30/ 110650 8 DO3 An oom Replies: 34110014, 34110636, 341262

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sleeping bag apocalypse why is there a hole nuclear caterpillar