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anon is forced to hitchhike. | /r/Greentext

231 KB JPG >be me, 19 year old degenerate >played vidya through high school so I got s--- grades >s--- grades meant no college >no college means more vidya >cycle continues >parents get sick of my s--- >bring me on a cross country road trip >that's pretty nice >kick me out of the car and speed off >well f---, I know nothing about here >decide to hitchhike home >wander the the highway >bunch of assholes just drive past >finally someone picks me up >at this point I'm exhausted >fall asleep in the passenger seat >let my hat cover my eyes from The sun >car hits a bump >I jolt awake and >try to grab the roof handle thing >hands tied >bondage.jpeg? >notice there isn't even a roof >shake off hat >I'm in the middle of the forest on a wooden hut >see Todd Howard taking off the mask of the driver >he's running away >I see the words "Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim" appear in front of me F--- Todd Howard
231 KB JPG >be me, 19 year old degenerate >played vidya through high school so I got s--- grades >s--- grades meant no college >no college means more vidya >cycle continues >parents get sick of my s--- >bring me on a cross country road trip >that's pretty nice >kick me out of the car and speed off >well f---, I know nothing about here >decide to hitchhike home >wander the the highway >bunch of assholes just drive past >finally someone picks me up >at this point I'm exhausted >fall asleep in the passenger seat >let my hat cover my eyes from The sun >car hits a bump >I jolt awake and >try to grab the roof handle thing >hands tied >bondage.jpeg? >notice there isn't even a roof >shake off hat >I'm in the middle of the forest on a wooden hut >see Todd Howard taking off the mask of the driver >he's running away >I see the words "Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim" appear in front of me F--- Todd Howard

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r/greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 Anonymous 1.63 MB JPG 1692982390394.png 290 KB PNG >> 08/26/23(Sat)00:53:51 No.95598372 >>95598663 # >>95599245 # post >post 08/26/23(Sat)00:57:02 No.95598429
: Anonymous 31 Anonymous 1.63 MB JPG 1692982390394.png 290 KB PNG >> 08/26/23(Sat)00:53:51 No.95598372 >>95598663 # >>95599245 # post >post 08/26/23(Sat)00:57:02 No.95598429

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Anon regrets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.36 MB PNG 08/25/23(Fri)17:43:48 >trooned out at 19 cause i was an impressionable retard >used my brain for once in my life and stopped after a year >feels like it doesn't really matter cause i'm already stuck as a shut-in 5'3" f-- with gyno and severe mental No.74509043 illness >past the point of even wanting to kms yeah so i don't know what to do at this point.
: Anonymous 1.36 MB PNG 08/25/23(Fri)17:43:48 >trooned out at 19 cause i was an impressionable retard >used my brain for once in my life and stopped after a year >feels like it doesn't really matter cause i'm already stuck as a shut-in 5'3" f-- with gyno and severe mental No.74509043 illness >past the point of even wanting to kms yeah so i don't know what to do at this point.

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Anon doesn’t like mobile gaming | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 49 KB JPG : Anonymous 26 KB JPG 08/25/23(Fri) 14:54:26 No.904976464 >download a game on my phone >premium currency is gold 08/25/23(Fri)15:07:25 No.904977136 >20 energy >each play costs 5 energy >it takes 10 minutes for 1 energy to refresh
Anonymous 49 KB JPG : Anonymous 26 KB JPG 08/25/23(Fri) 14:54:26 No.904976464 >download a game on my phone >premium currency is gold 08/25/23(Fri)15:07:25 No.904977136 >20 energy >each play costs 5 energy >it takes 10 minutes for 1 energy to refresh

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Anon's Tantalizing Tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous rate my tendies /10/b/ros 1.66 MB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)12:58:12 No.904092198 >unlimited supply from the buffet at my hotel >they are crispy and juicy >refilled immediately >feelsgood.tendies
: Anonymous rate my tendies /10/b/ros 1.66 MB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)12:58:12 No.904092198 >unlimited supply from the buffet at my hotel >they are crispy and juicy >refilled immediately >feelsgood.tendies

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Hard pill to swallow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How you got a fetish 08/25/23(Fri)16:00:01 No.74511120 1690953320251437.jpg 154 KB JPG >went to a private school >we were a K-12 school where elementary, middle, and high school were on the same campus >in the 4th grade, I knew this girl in the 11th grade >she was part of the mentoring program for elementary and middle schoolers >overweight but huge booba and boota, super pretty face, basically a plus-sized gigastacy >but she was super weird, genius intellect but likely autism >she liked to swallow her food whole, like just sliding entire hotdogs, burritos, and sandwiches down her esophagus >did this with hotdogs this one time until her skirt button came undone, like swallowing around 15 without stopping I haven't been the same since. Now I'm obsessed with girls swallowing stuff and acts of extreme reckless gluttony.
: Anonymous How you got a fetish 08/25/23(Fri)16:00:01 No.74511120 1690953320251437.jpg 154 KB JPG >went to a private school >we were a K-12 school where elementary, middle, and high school were on the same campus >in the 4th grade, I knew this girl in the 11th grade >she was part of the mentoring program for elementary and middle schoolers >overweight but huge booba and boota, super pretty face, basically a plus-sized gigastacy >but she was super weird, genius intellect but likely autism >she liked to swallow her food whole, like just sliding entire hotdogs, burritos, and sandwiches down her esophagus >did this with hotdogs this one time until her skirt button came undone, like swallowing around 15 without stopping I haven't been the same since. Now I'm obsessed with girls swallowing stuff and acts of extreme reckless gluttony.

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Anon got a boner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)21:25:14 No.74369032 x87lk52iwpda1.png 49 KB PNG >super friendly shortstack coworker and I are chatting >she randomly asks how tall I am Uhhh 6'1 >she then steps to my side to measure up with me (she is 5'0) >the second her shoulder touches my arm i instantly get a boner >mfw I want to breed the s--- out of this big booty w---- but I also don't want to s--- where I eat >mfw she probably saw my boner >mfw i will never be able to f--- the s--- out of this chick
: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)21:25:14 No.74369032 x87lk52iwpda1.png 49 KB PNG >super friendly shortstack coworker and I are chatting >she randomly asks how tall I am Uhhh 6'1 >she then steps to my side to measure up with me (she is 5'0) >the second her shoulder touches my arm i instantly get a boner >mfw I want to breed the s--- out of this big booty w---- but I also don't want to s--- where I eat >mfw she probably saw my boner >mfw i will never be able to f--- the s--- out of this chick

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Anon has left the chat | /r/Greentext

File: ba9.png (11 KB, 650x650) Anonymous 08/25/23 (Fri)20:30:58 No.904972880 >be me >Literally 5min ago >Forcibly invited in some crypto scam telegram group by some pajeet >700k fake account >33 online, they all end every message with "sir" >Admin has Trump mugshot in the pfp >Mfw >Mfw i spam rekt and gore into the groupchat >"Sir please, this is not polite ok?".jpg >Mfw moments before the ban me i say "I've reported the group to the indian cyber security they have your ip now" >Mfw last thing admin says is "pleas sir no" Such is life Apu, such is life
File: ba9.png (11 KB, 650x650) Anonymous 08/25/23 (Fri)20:30:58 No.904972880 >be me >Literally 5min ago >Forcibly invited in some crypto scam telegram group by some pajeet >700k fake account >33 online, they all end every message with "sir" >Admin has Trump mugshot in the pfp >Mfw >Mfw i spam rekt and gore into the groupchat >"Sir please, this is not polite ok?".jpg >Mfw moments before the ban me i say "I've reported the group to the indian cyber security they have your ip now" >Mfw last thing admin says is "pleas sir no" Such is life Apu, such is life

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YouTube rant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous YT rant You The 1.1 MB PNG >yt says no >angryNPC.jpg 08/26/23(Sat)00:04:52 No.95597359 Anonymous >Open video to continue where I left of >have to sit through 2 ads >it didn't remember where I left of so now I have to fast forward >get another ad because of it >get annoyed and use ad block >go to homepage and get a vid recommended that does not relate to my interest and it only has 3 views >click anyway on vid >its f------ boring and has ads for bitcoin >dislike so other people don't have to watch this >remember dislikes aren't displayed on this platform How can anyone still take this platform seriously 08/26/23(Sat)00:07:34 No.95597401 >be me >download the video >just watch it Yep, that's me. Just a humble little goob who tries to keep his life simple.
Anonymous YT rant You The 1.1 MB PNG >yt says no >angryNPC.jpg 08/26/23(Sat)00:04:52 No.95597359 Anonymous >Open video to continue where I left of >have to sit through 2 ads >it didn't remember where I left of so now I have to fast forward >get another ad because of it >get annoyed and use ad block >go to homepage and get a vid recommended that does not relate to my interest and it only has 3 views >click anyway on vid >its f------ boring and has ads for bitcoin >dislike so other people don't have to watch this >remember dislikes aren't displayed on this platform How can anyone still take this platform seriously 08/26/23(Sat)00:07:34 No.95597401 >be me >download the video >just watch it Yep, that's me. Just a humble little goob who tries to keep his life simple.

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anon is out of touch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Need to learn teen lingo download (3) (4).jpg 8 KB JPG 08/25/23(Fri)01:10:32 No.904948497 hey guys I'm a dad who's been scrolling this site for around 10 years, need some help with my son's lingo >Son comes home from school >I'm watching some political videos >Son says "that is totally baste" >His friend comes over, they're playing video games and I overheard him say "that's baste as f---" >What does baste mean these days
: Anonymous Need to learn teen lingo download (3) (4).jpg 8 KB JPG 08/25/23(Fri)01:10:32 No.904948497 hey guys I'm a dad who's been scrolling this site for around 10 years, need some help with my son's lingo >Son comes home from school >I'm watching some political videos >Son says "that is totally baste" >His friend comes over, they're playing video games and I overheard him say "that's baste as f---" >What does baste mean these days

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Not too fond of speedhumps | /r/Greentext

File: speed-bump.jpg (88 KB, 650x430) Which retard invented speedhumps?? Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri) 15:49:24 No.26951396 ► I want to find him and hit his head repeatedly against his brilliant invention, until the s--- that's inside it flows out of his ears. I'd also r--- his daughter if she's hot.
File: speed-bump.jpg (88 KB, 650x430) Which retard invented speedhumps?? Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri) 15:49:24 No.26951396 ► I want to find him and hit his head repeatedly against his brilliant invention, until the s--- that's inside it flows out of his ears. I'd also r--- his daughter if she's hot.

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What did he mean by this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri)16:33:01 No.904950862 MUG SHOT - AUGUST 24, 2023 ELECTION INTERFERENCE NEVER SURRENDER! DONALDJTRUMP.COM 1692955477438581.jpg 73 KB JPG >Never Surrender! >surrenders can someone explain this to me?
: Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri)16:33:01 No.904950862 MUG SHOT - AUGUST 24, 2023 ELECTION INTERFERENCE NEVER SURRENDER! DONALDJTRUMP.COM 1692955477438581.jpg 73 KB JPG >Never Surrender! >surrenders can someone explain this to me?

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Anon is a cat guy now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Take the cat pill anons 1.36 MB PNG 08/25/23(Fri)11:52:19 No.904967591 >be me >depressed, loner, NEET, live at my parents house >one day we get a cat, whatever >cat hates me for whatever reason >is always super cuddly with parents but constantly barfs near me or on my things >never lets me pet him or play with him >also meows really aggressively around me for no reason >try playing with him, he isn't interested and keeps meowing >try feeding him, he keeps meowing >literally just always meowing as loud as he can around me, it's annoying as hell >trying to play clone hero while parents are gone and cat is meowing like always >starts walking all over my desk, I've had it with this f----- >just start meowing back at him, louder than him, it scares him off and he goes hiding somewhere >parents get home and look for him, can't find him anywhere, ask if I let him out >we tear the house apart trying to find him, look everywhere, we came to the conclusion that he must've got out somehow and that was that >ffw tomorrow night, cat comes out of nowhere from upstairs and rubs all over my legs as I'm standing in the kitchen. >whereTFwereyoulittleshit.jpeg >cat is suddenly very friendly with me and always wants to be near me >I start warming up to him as well, it's nice having a cat on your lap while gaming/watching TV >noticed I'm feeling less depressed lately, cat is still super friendly with me, even sleeps in my bed now >Mfw no longer depressed cause I meowed at a cat in frustration Guess I'm a cat person now bots
: Anonymous Take the cat pill anons 1.36 MB PNG 08/25/23(Fri)11:52:19 No.904967591 >be me >depressed, loner, NEET, live at my parents house >one day we get a cat, whatever >cat hates me for whatever reason >is always super cuddly with parents but constantly barfs near me or on my things >never lets me pet him or play with him >also meows really aggressively around me for no reason >try playing with him, he isn't interested and keeps meowing >try feeding him, he keeps meowing >literally just always meowing as loud as he can around me, it's annoying as hell >trying to play clone hero while parents are gone and cat is meowing like always >starts walking all over my desk, I've had it with this f----- >just start meowing back at him, louder than him, it scares him off and he goes hiding somewhere >parents get home and look for him, can't find him anywhere, ask if I let him out >we tear the house apart trying to find him, look everywhere, we came to the conclusion that he must've got out somehow and that was that >ffw tomorrow night, cat comes out of nowhere from upstairs and rubs all over my legs as I'm standing in the kitchen. >whereTFwereyoulittleshit.jpeg >cat is suddenly very friendly with me and always wants to be near me >I start warming up to him as well, it's nice having a cat on your lap while gaming/watching TV >noticed I'm feeling less depressed lately, cat is still super friendly with me, even sleeps in my bed now >Mfw no longer depressed cause I meowed at a cat in frustration Guess I'm a cat person now bots

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Anon made a birdcel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sysporiday 547 KB PNG 08/22/23(Tue)08:03:47 No.4598687 >buy baby parakeet >store girl tells me it's female >time passes >Nose turns blue which means male >bring to store to exchange >they refuse >Have to buy a new birb >release old birb into the wild >Walk around town a month later and see old birb around town >Feel kind of happy for him : Anonymous >>4598687 (OP) # >Feel kind of happy for him Anon you made him a birdcel who will never find birdlove 08/22/23(Tue) 15:49:54 No.4598895
: Anonymous Sysporiday 547 KB PNG 08/22/23(Tue)08:03:47 No.4598687 >buy baby parakeet >store girl tells me it's female >time passes >Nose turns blue which means male >bring to store to exchange >they refuse >Have to buy a new birb >release old birb into the wild >Walk around town a month later and see old birb around town >Feel kind of happy for him : Anonymous >>4598687 (OP) # >Feel kind of happy for him Anon you made him a birdcel who will never find birdlove 08/22/23(Tue) 15:49:54 No.4598895

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Concerning amount of trolling | /r/Greentext

tinkerchan xd я так устала быть такой ахуенной няшкои 51 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)02:25:40 No.74372351 >be me >never put in school so most of my first social interaction was sexually harrassing peopl on roblox >have r--- o----- in the bathroom simulators >troll women on reddit by pretending to be a misogynistic chad for fun >finally go to community college and meet IRL people >dont know how to act around other women at all so ignore them >one of my first frends gets a gf >meet her at a thanksgiving event >she joke flirts with me by sitting in my lap >IMMEDIATELY grab her >start uncontrollably humping her >le funy r--- troll >everyone screams >she says she unirnoicaly traumatized even tho it was le funny >am banned from club meetings was she asking for it anons i dont know wjat to do im f----- for life
tinkerchan xd я так устала быть такой ахуенной няшкои 51 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)02:25:40 No.74372351 >be me >never put in school so most of my first social interaction was sexually harrassing peopl on roblox >have r--- o----- in the bathroom simulators >troll women on reddit by pretending to be a misogynistic chad for fun >finally go to community college and meet IRL people >dont know how to act around other women at all so ignore them >one of my first frends gets a gf >meet her at a thanksgiving event >she joke flirts with me by sitting in my lap >IMMEDIATELY grab her >start uncontrollably humping her >le funy r--- troll >everyone screams >she says she unirnoicaly traumatized even tho it was le funny >am banned from club meetings was she asking for it anons i dont know wjat to do im f----- for life

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Why is he like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: DtwWmaG9 19 KB JPG 08/03/23(Thu)01:05:17 No.436652414 Richard dawkins and all the other libtards over the last 30 years be like >screw tradition, screw religion, screw nationalism, screw its cultural practices! But then a sudden transwoman is like >im a woman Richard dawkins and other progressive livtards destroying this culture for the last 30 years all of a sudden like; >OMG WHATS WRONG WITH EVERYONE THESE DAYS, JUST BE NORMAL, BE TRADITIONAL!
: Anonymous (ID: DtwWmaG9 19 KB JPG 08/03/23(Thu)01:05:17 No.436652414 Richard dawkins and all the other libtards over the last 30 years be like >screw tradition, screw religion, screw nationalism, screw its cultural practices! But then a sudden transwoman is like >im a woman Richard dawkins and other progressive livtards destroying this culture for the last 30 years all of a sudden like; >OMG WHATS WRONG WITH EVERYONE THESE DAYS, JUST BE NORMAL, BE TRADITIONAL!

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