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Anon discovers something magical | /r/Greentext


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Gimme That Filet-O-Fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)00:15:04 No.65014623 >no singing fish gf why live RIG MOUTH BILY BASS 28 KB JPG MOLTH NLIT B
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)00:15:04 No.65014623 >no singing fish gf why live RIG MOUTH BILY BASS 28 KB JPG MOLTH NLIT B

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)14:03:15 No.65020422 >>65018750 (OP) # >had 10+ close friends in high school >knew like 300+ people (who i spoke to at least once) >girls used to lust after my d--- >went to college >aspie so find it hard to make new friends >depression >dropout >27000 hours in dota 2 >lts been 7 years now ive been neet And that is why I dont have friends.
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)14:03:15 No.65020422 >>65018750 (OP) # >had 10+ close friends in high school >knew like 300+ people (who i spoke to at least once) >girls used to lust after my d--- >went to college >aspie so find it hard to make new friends >depression >dropout >27000 hours in dota 2 >lts been 7 years now ive been neet And that is why I dont have friends.

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Anon gets interrupted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Beat off interruptions 08/17/21(Tue)19:15:10 No.65019740 >laying around doing nothing >decide to j------- >pull up p--- >hear mom walking down hall towards my room 536 KB PNG >every f------ time 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous Beat off interruptions 08/17/21(Tue)19:15:10 No.65019740 >laying around doing nothing >decide to j------- >pull up p--- >hear mom walking down hall towards my room 536 KB PNG >every f------ time 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon is from Afghanistan | /r/Greentext


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Anon buys some bread. | /r/Greentext

File: IMG 8325-Version-2-1.jpg (31 KB, 549x366) Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)09:34:36 No.602668487 [Reply] >602668756 >>602669012 >be me >be poorfag >be bicycling home from grocery shopping >carrying a bag of sliced bread in my hand since I didn't want to squish it into my backpack >some douchebag passes by me on a bicycle >it's on >pedal faster and stay right behind this a------ >a thought starts to form >what if I pass by him and swing my bread to hit him in the back of the head? >think, "What would /b/ do?" >do it f----- >douchebag turns around and is surprised to see me on his tail >he books it >nu-uh >l am determined >he turns around again >I'm still on his tail >l am clearly matching my speed to his >he gets a little freaked out >l yell, "I'm gonna whack your head with this bread, bitch!" >douchebag turns his head around, "What!?" >douchebag hits a fairly big branch in the road and crashes >oh s--- >not how I planned this to go >stop my bike and run towards him, still carrying my bread >swing as hard as I can and smack him right in the face >run back to my bike and book it
File: IMG 8325-Version-2-1.jpg (31 KB, 549x366) Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)09:34:36 No.602668487 [Reply] >602668756 >>602669012 >be me >be poorfag >be bicycling home from grocery shopping >carrying a bag of sliced bread in my hand since I didn't want to squish it into my backpack >some douchebag passes by me on a bicycle >it's on >pedal faster and stay right behind this a------ >a thought starts to form >what if I pass by him and swing my bread to hit him in the back of the head? >think, "What would /b/ do?" >do it f----- >douchebag turns around and is surprised to see me on his tail >he books it >nu-uh >l am determined >he turns around again >I'm still on his tail >l am clearly matching my speed to his >he gets a little freaked out >l yell, "I'm gonna whack your head with this bread, bitch!" >douchebag turns his head around, "What!?" >douchebag hits a fairly big branch in the road and crashes >oh s--- >not how I planned this to go >stop my bike and run towards him, still carrying my bread >swing as hard as I can and smack him right in the face >run back to my bike and book it

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Anon likes the taliban | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)20:30:04 No.65020792 >Be a 15 year old afghani boy with a decade worth of combat experience. >You come from a strong lineage of Taliban fighters. >After two decades of struggle you finally take back your country. >Then the government mandates that the 24 KB JPG hottest girl in your village has to marry you. >Life is good 5 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)20:30:04 No.65020792 >Be a 15 year old afghani boy with a decade worth of combat experience. >You come from a strong lineage of Taliban fighters. >After two decades of struggle you finally take back your country. >Then the government mandates that the 24 KB JPG hottest girl in your village has to marry you. >Life is good 5 Replies View Thread

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Anon plays Hitman 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21 (Mon)21:55:01 No.567539982 hitman 2.jpg 23 KB JPG >walk past guard >*get shot* >bump into someone >*get shot* >stare at someone >*get shot* >walk into kitchen >*get shot* >stand around and do literally nothing >*get shot* : Anonymous 08/16/21 (Mon)21:56:00 No.567540071 >>567539982 (OP) # sounds like America
: Anonymous 08/16/21 (Mon)21:55:01 No.567539982 hitman 2.jpg 23 KB JPG >walk past guard >*get shot* >bump into someone >*get shot* >stare at someone >*get shot* >walk into kitchen >*get shot* >stand around and do literally nothing >*get shot* : Anonymous 08/16/21 (Mon)21:56:00 No.567540071 >>567539982 (OP) # sounds like America

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Serious as cancer | /r/Greentext

File: 1520963883976.png (83 KB, 264x246) U Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)17:16:08 No.65008027 [Reply] >>65008155 >>65008191 >the feeling of a girl's hand running through your hair and gently scratching your head while the other arm is wrapped around you in embrace >the rising and falling of her breath, soothing you >the sensation of her lightly planting kisses on your head and shoulders O Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)17:24:39 No.65008155 >>65008027 (OP)# >>the feeling of a girl's hand running through your hair and gently scratching your head >her hand gets tangled in all the greasy barb wire, she tries to leave that forest on your head but immediately pulls your whole head and rips several strands of yours >Despite the pain and fear, you both laugh it off >Until she sees that naked desert patch on your head, almost grossed out by it despite it being of her own creation >You worry about it for weeks, self conscious about your hair before already, now more so, her acting weirdly, seeing your hairline. >She tells you you don't need to worry >Wait, but don't take off the hat though, please.
File: 1520963883976.png (83 KB, 264x246) U Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)17:16:08 No.65008027 [Reply] >>65008155 >>65008191 >the feeling of a girl's hand running through your hair and gently scratching your head while the other arm is wrapped around you in embrace >the rising and falling of her breath, soothing you >the sensation of her lightly planting kisses on your head and shoulders O Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)17:24:39 No.65008155 >>65008027 (OP)# >>the feeling of a girl's hand running through your hair and gently scratching your head >her hand gets tangled in all the greasy barb wire, she tries to leave that forest on your head but immediately pulls your whole head and rips several strands of yours >Despite the pain and fear, you both laugh it off >Until she sees that naked desert patch on your head, almost grossed out by it despite it being of her own creation >You worry about it for weeks, self conscious about your hair before already, now more so, her acting weirdly, seeing your hairline. >She tells you you don't need to worry >Wait, but don't take off the hat though, please.

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Pol dancer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)00:17:07 No.65013176 >get sexual gratification from posting myself on pol and having natsocs talk about f------ me >troll s---- up my thread >pol f--- stop sex posting about me 158 KB PNG >fap material destroyed Why can't trolls leave me alone i just want to get my rocks off on pol
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)00:17:07 No.65013176 >get sexual gratification from posting myself on pol and having natsocs talk about f------ me >troll s---- up my thread >pol f--- stop sex posting about me 158 KB PNG >fap material destroyed Why can't trolls leave me alone i just want to get my rocks off on pol

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He fucked up a bit but it's a good story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)08:22:12 No.155076423 GROUNDED >be me STAR LORD MON >autistic and add >model personality off of starlord >start listening to 70's, 80's and 90's music >manage to get myself a job >somehow I impressed the c.e.o so 59 KB JPG well I didn't even need a interview >thanks starlord cause of you I'm on my way to becoming not a neet
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)08:22:12 No.155076423 GROUNDED >be me STAR LORD MON >autistic and add >model personality off of starlord >start listening to 70's, 80's and 90's music >manage to get myself a job >somehow I impressed the c.e.o so 59 KB JPG well I didn't even need a interview >thanks starlord cause of you I'm on my way to becoming not a neet

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)09:12:23 No.65014605 >friend talks to anyone else >i flip out and feel really murderous and suicidal what's wrong with me? 8 KB JPG 20 Replies / 7 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)12:44:47 No.65016228 >>65014605 (OP) # >friend talks to anyone else >get excited at the idea they have finally found friends more like them and will leave me alone >they dont >instead a new person wants to 43 KB JPG hang out with me too Cant even ghost them if I wanted too.
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)09:12:23 No.65014605 >friend talks to anyone else >i flip out and feel really murderous and suicidal what's wrong with me? 8 KB JPG 20 Replies / 7 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)12:44:47 No.65016228 >>65014605 (OP) # >friend talks to anyone else >get excited at the idea they have finally found friends more like them and will leave me alone >they dont >instead a new person wants to 43 KB JPG hang out with me too Cant even ghost them if I wanted too.

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[META] Miles is safe | /r/Greentext

UK student who travelled to Afghanistan for holiday evacuated O 2 hours ago MILES ROUTLEDGE/ PA MEDIA Miles Routledge says he travelled to Afghanistan as he enjoys "dark" and "extreme" tourism A UK student who travelled to Afghanistan on holiday says he is now safe in Dubai after being evacuated.
UK student who travelled to Afghanistan for holiday evacuated O 2 hours ago MILES ROUTLEDGE/ PA MEDIA Miles Routledge says he travelled to Afghanistan as he enjoys "dark" and "extreme" tourism A UK student who travelled to Afghanistan on holiday says he is now safe in Dubai after being evacuated.

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Anon is Rooted in Place | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)08:49:27 No.63061894 >Have extended summer break >Feel like s--- bc not been active all day >Know 100% l'd feel better if I went to the gym >Still can't leave PC and go. 839 KB PNG W-- is going on why is it like this.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)08:49:27 No.63061894 >Have extended summer break >Feel like s--- bc not been active all day >Know 100% l'd feel better if I went to the gym >Still can't leave PC and go. 839 KB PNG W-- is going on why is it like this.

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Anon hates popcorn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)16:03:06 No.16462878 >tastes bland unless add tons of other s--- >goes stale in 30 seconds >husks get stuck between your teeth and in your throat >constant risk of biting on an unpopped kernel 286 KB JPG I don't get it. Why do people enjoy this s---?
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)16:03:06 No.16462878 >tastes bland unless add tons of other s--- >goes stale in 30 seconds >husks get stuck between your teeth and in your throat >constant risk of biting on an unpopped kernel 286 KB JPG I don't get it. Why do people enjoy this s---?

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Anon Griffin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)01:24:42 No.65014221 >hey Lois, remember that time where I murdered a bunch of children and stuffed them into animatronic suits eheheh 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)01:24:42 No.65014221 >hey Lois, remember that time where I murdered a bunch of children and stuffed them into animatronic suits eheheh 61 KB JPG

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Anon has sex | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:20:20 No.861172257 [Reply] > >ive started dating a girl i was having sex with for a while >nice >we still have sex >during sex she likes to grab me by my hair or the back of my neck and tell me things that have been bothering her about the relationship >most the time she doesn't remember what she said >no big deal >was recently having sex with her and she grabs the sides of my hair and told me >"youre so f------ annoying all you do is talk about is your dead mom." >what >shes been trying to have sex with me again but i dont think i want to have sex with her anymore O Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:21:48 No.861172324 jesus we get it, your mom's dead no need to keep going on about it
O Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:20:20 No.861172257 [Reply] > >ive started dating a girl i was having sex with for a while >nice >we still have sex >during sex she likes to grab me by my hair or the back of my neck and tell me things that have been bothering her about the relationship >most the time she doesn't remember what she said >no big deal >was recently having sex with her and she grabs the sides of my hair and told me >"youre so f------ annoying all you do is talk about is your dead mom." >what >shes been trying to have sex with me again but i dont think i want to have sex with her anymore O Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:21:48 No.861172324 jesus we get it, your mom's dead no need to keep going on about it

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Anon is French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)01:08:09 No.65013596 >tfw youd like to get yellow fever but you cant because youre a subhuman french and all asians hate you Wat do ? 60 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)01:08:09 No.65013596 >tfw youd like to get yellow fever but you cant because youre a subhuman french and all asians hate you Wat do ? 60 KB JPG

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Bill Nye speaks | /r/Greentext

ave_true_to_caesar.jpg, 60KİB, 424x500 Anonymous ID:0OGTK×VC Sat 14 Jul 2018 23:24:14 No.178779029 View >>178769660 >bill nye the science goy walks into a lab >starts yelling "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY" >proceeds to pick up some beakers, shaking them around yelling "BILL BILL BILL" >scientists working there tell him to please stop >"SCIENCE RULES" >"Bill those are highly volatile chemicals, and you have neither the proper safety equipment or experience to be handling them.." >Bill suddenly freezes up and looks dead silent at the head researcher >"inertia is a property of matter" >smashes the beakers on the ground and storms out making air guitar noises
ave_true_to_caesar.jpg, 60KİB, 424x500 Anonymous ID:0OGTK×VC Sat 14 Jul 2018 23:24:14 No.178779029 View >>178769660 >bill nye the science goy walks into a lab >starts yelling "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY" >proceeds to pick up some beakers, shaking them around yelling "BILL BILL BILL" >scientists working there tell him to please stop >"SCIENCE RULES" >"Bill those are highly volatile chemicals, and you have neither the proper safety equipment or experience to be handling them.." >Bill suddenly freezes up and looks dead silent at the head researcher >"inertia is a property of matter" >smashes the beakers on the ground and storms out making air guitar noises

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Anon visits Syria | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/17(Mon)04:43:48 No.753533284 >Be me at age 13 >Go to Syria to visit family >Family helper recruited by the army >Made meals, helped with house work >Family tells me to call him abad >Constantly call him abad >Skip to years after trip back home >Father says abad as we pass black people AS ALL >Father says abad means black people >abad=n----- >Mfw
Anonymous 12/11/17(Mon)04:43:48 No.753533284 >Be me at age 13 >Go to Syria to visit family >Family helper recruited by the army >Made meals, helped with house work >Family tells me to call him abad >Constantly call him abad >Skip to years after trip back home >Father says abad as we pass black people AS ALL >Father says abad means black people >abad=n----- >Mfw

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