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chelsea anét @chelseaanet I told my Lyft driver I was on mushrooms and he said, “like pizza mushrooms?" I thought about it for 5 seconds and was like, "yeah.” Then he confided he sometimes eats a whole can of black olives.
chelsea anét @chelseaanet I told my Lyft driver I was on mushrooms and he said, “like pizza mushrooms?" I thought about it for 5 seconds and was like, "yeah.” Then he confided he sometimes eats a whole can of black olives.

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Weee

The neighbors called the police to report children skating on the road Police after arriving: 0:05/0:09 71
The neighbors called the police to report children skating on the road Police after arriving: 0:05/0:09 71

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Spicy

Hidding jalapeños in the veggie platter
Hidding jalapeños in the veggie platter

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No place for simps

20 Pick a number from 1 to 50 We wont speak for 20 days pleaase let me pick again Okay fine 50
20 Pick a number from 1 to 50 We wont speak for 20 days pleaase let me pick again Okay fine 50

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Gotta do what you gotta do

17-290 IndiGo Indigo 53T IndiGo Bengaluru software engineer hacks IndiGo airline's website to find his lost luggage after staff did not help The man had travelled from PAT - BLR from indigo 6E-185. Fine. I'll do it myself. @jaynildave
17-290 IndiGo Indigo 53T IndiGo Bengaluru software engineer hacks IndiGo airline's website to find his lost luggage after staff did not help The man had travelled from PAT - BLR from indigo 6E-185. Fine. I'll do it myself. @jaynildave

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More so evil

What's the first thing you'd do if you could be invisible? 65 65 ✓ ☐ 108 58m Beat the sout of a street mime Q - 12 Reply Vote 2m That's equally evil and hilarious lol. You could help him become the best mime ever... ✰ Vote
What's the first thing you'd do if you could be invisible? 65 65 ✓ ☐ 108 58m Beat the sout of a street mime Q - 12 Reply Vote 2m That's equally evil and hilarious lol. You could help him become the best mime ever... ✰ Vote

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...What?

Mu I won't ever pass this place without buying anything. It's the yam for me. pic.x.com/ p4mzNm30ev 66 1749 332 ili 24K T Follow Aren't you worried about food poisoning? 12:21 AM - 05/11/23 432 Views • 1 27 M...■■ The food should be worried about me. 1 271 6 ili 264 <]
Mu I won't ever pass this place without buying anything. It's the yam for me. pic.x.com/ p4mzNm30ev 66 1749 332 ili 24K T Follow Aren't you worried about food poisoning? 12:21 AM - 05/11/23 432 Views • 1 27 M...■■ The food should be worried about me. 1 271 6 ili 264 <]

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Sometimes they're just too loud

I keep a universal remote in my bag to turn down pub TVs if they are too loud. CLADE MENU 2 3 4 5 6 APPS 88 9 E ONE FOR ALL BRITISHK MEMESK
I keep a universal remote in my bag to turn down pub TVs if they are too loud. CLADE MENU 2 3 4 5 6 APPS 88 9 E ONE FOR ALL BRITISHK MEMESK

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That's petty

Broke up with a guy and he had my thermostat app on his phone. I kept coming home from work and my house was 85°+. Finally figured out it was him and he told me to enjoy h 11-17 Reply 7,583
Broke up with a guy and he had my thermostat app on his phone. I kept coming home from work and my house was 85°+. Finally figured out it was him and he told me to enjoy h 11-17 Reply 7,583

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Someone do this

Bradley @embrace_madness If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the readers about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. 7:34 PM 08 Mar 15 Twitter for iPhone 419 Retweets 3,748 Likes . Bradley @embrace_madness 08 Mar 15 Replying to @embrace_madness Then when they figured it out I would "come clean", telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last one. 59 1384 3,597
Bradley @embrace_madness If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the readers about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. 7:34 PM 08 Mar 15 Twitter for iPhone 419 Retweets 3,748 Likes . Bradley @embrace_madness 08 Mar 15 Replying to @embrace_madness Then when they figured it out I would "come clean", telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last one. 59 1384 3,597

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Ouch

1 hour ago & I couldn't possibly be happier right now. For the first time in my life, a girl told me that she loves me. . Like Comment likes this. Aren't moms great? Just now
1 hour ago & I couldn't possibly be happier right now. For the first time in my life, a girl told me that she loves me. . Like Comment likes this. Aren't moms great? Just now

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That's just rude

micheal @iamthe1stt. 18h ... my roommate just told me that the invigilator for his exam shouted "hey siri" mid exam and he caught like 5 people with phones this people are getting too creative guyyyyyy
micheal @iamthe1stt. 18h ... my roommate just told me that the invigilator for his exam shouted "hey siri" mid exam and he caught like 5 people with phones this people are getting too creative guyyyyyy

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He took it as a compliment

*guts voice* this truly was Berserk @hoshiumisexy i had a roommate who was a blacksmith and he kept a sword under his bed and just had knives lying around. one time he got cut by his sword and we had to take him to the ER and he was so smug because the doctor was like "that was a really really sharp knife it cut so cleanly" 1:25 AM - 9/22/22 Twitter Web App
*guts voice* this truly was Berserk @hoshiumisexy i had a roommate who was a blacksmith and he kept a sword under his bed and just had knives lying around. one time he got cut by his sword and we had to take him to the ER and he was so smug because the doctor was like "that was a really really sharp knife it cut so cleanly" 1:25 AM - 9/22/22 Twitter Web App

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Just a little trick

Hey hon 00:14 December 14 If that's you down there, can you maybe make me a soda stream as well?? 00:14 Mountain Dew pls :) 00:22 What kind 00:20 </ @ Satin Ice BROWN MARRON food colour gel rant alimenta en gelée ml 0.61 fl oz liq US Never let them know your next move. Sodastream WHY DOES TASTE DEW BUT LOOK COLA/ ROOT BEER?! XD 00:26 DRINK MIX LANGE POUR BOISSON ABOUT/DONNE ENVIRON 9L" 440 mL →
Hey hon 00:14 December 14 If that's you down there, can you maybe make me a soda stream as well?? 00:14 Mountain Dew pls :) 00:22 What kind 00:20 </ @ Satin Ice BROWN MARRON food colour gel rant alimenta en gelée ml 0.61 fl oz liq US Never let them know your next move. Sodastream WHY DOES TASTE DEW BUT LOOK COLA/ ROOT BEER?! XD 00:26 DRINK MIX LANGE POUR BOISSON ABOUT/DONNE ENVIRON 9L" 440 mL →

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She just wanted to know

buck tooth c t @Royal_McPoyle i bought a new car battery and it was like $220 and the girl at auto zone said "wanna see how much it would cost if you needed 99 of them?" and i said "okay" so she typed 99 in the quantity and the price went to $23000 and she said "thats how much it would cost" and i said "okay"
buck tooth c t @Royal_McPoyle i bought a new car battery and it was like $220 and the girl at auto zone said "wanna see how much it would cost if you needed 99 of them?" and i said "okay" so she typed 99 in the quantity and the price went to $23000 and she said "thats how much it would cost" and i said "okay"

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"Light-hearted"

O OVE 000 A London man named Russell Gray was denied permission to redevelop a vacant land that he owned. So, he acquired permission to install a "tank" on the site. The council had approved it thinking it was a septic tank, but he instead installed a Soviet-built T-34-85 medium tank with its gun turret pointing at the council office as a light-hearted protest.
O OVE 000 A London man named Russell Gray was denied permission to redevelop a vacant land that he owned. So, he acquired permission to install a "tank" on the site. The council had approved it thinking it was a septic tank, but he instead installed a Soviet-built T-34-85 medium tank with its gun turret pointing at the council office as a light-hearted protest.

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