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Thor and The Thanksgiving Turkey

< Messages Mother aCrazyJewishMom Details OMG GET DOWN HERE! THOR GOT THE TURKEY!! HE'S HUMPING IT AND SNARLING AT EVERYONE!!! My baby's in love! MOM NOT FUNNY! What are we going to do?? We have people to feed! Delivered Oh relax, we'll just wash it off and cook it. no one will know
< Messages Mother aCrazyJewishMom Details OMG GET DOWN HERE! THOR GOT THE TURKEY!! HE'S HUMPING IT AND SNARLING AT EVERYONE!!! My baby's in love! MOM NOT FUNNY! What are we going to do?? We have people to feed! Delivered Oh relax, we'll just wash it off and cook it. no one will know

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny dogs crazy jewish mom

Instagram Feud 2.0

4:06 LTE Your Post Has Been Deleted のkatefriedmansiegel We removed your post because it doesn't follow our Community Guidelines. If you violate our guidelines again, your account may be restricted or disable. katefriedmansiegel You anonymously reported Community Guidelines speech or symbols. 9h We want to keep Instagram a safe place for everyone, and we created these guidelines to support and protect our community on Instagram September 2, 2018 at 4:26 PM Thank you for reporting crazyjewishmom, thank you for taking the time to report Jewish While we reviewed the account you reported for hate speech or symbols and found it does not violate our Community Guidelines, reports like yours are an important part of making Instagram a safe and welcoming place for everyone. 3m Learn more about what we remove Crazy Jewish Mom @crazyjewishmom Update! @instagram just deleted MY post asking why they allow Nazi propaganda on their platform, saying that MY post violated community guidelines. Guess complaining about community guidelines is against community guidelines. Swastikas are cool though
4:06 LTE Your Post Has Been Deleted のkatefriedmansiegel We removed your post because it doesn't follow our Community Guidelines. If you violate our guidelines again, your account may be restricted or disable. katefriedmansiegel You anonymously reported Community Guidelines speech or symbols. 9h We want to keep Instagram a safe place for everyone, and we created these guidelines to support and protect our community on Instagram September 2, 2018 at 4:26 PM Thank you for reporting crazyjewishmom, thank you for taking the time to report Jewish While we reviewed the account you reported for hate speech or symbols and found it does not violate our Community Guidelines, reports like yours are an important part of making Instagram a safe and welcoming place for everyone. 3m Learn more about what we remove Crazy Jewish Mom @crazyjewishmom Update! @instagram just deleted MY post asking why they allow Nazi propaganda on their platform, saying that MY post violated community guidelines. Guess complaining about community guidelines is against community guidelines. Swastikas are cool though

Kate Friedman Siegel
instagram

Instagram Feud 1.0

8 You anonymously reported cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 for hate speech or symbols 9h cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 > September 2, 2018 at 4:26 PM Thank you for reporting crazyjewishmom, thank you for taking the time to report cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69's account. While we reviewed the account you reported for hate speech or symbols and found it does not violate our Community Guidelines, reports like yours are an important part of making Instagram a safe and welcoming place for everyone. Jewish cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 ORTON Stroller cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 wants to send you a message 83 followers 538 posts Dr.Goebbels Do you want to let cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 send you messages from now on? They'll only know you've seen their request if you choose Allow Crazy Jewish Mom @crazyjewishmom Are we sure this doesn't "violate community guidelines," @instagram? I'm rarely able see follow up on the (many) reports I submit on the anti-Semitism we receive, bc I get too many notifications. I did catch this one, & it worries me that this is the response to all my reports
8 You anonymously reported cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 for hate speech or symbols 9h cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 > September 2, 2018 at 4:26 PM Thank you for reporting crazyjewishmom, thank you for taking the time to report cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69's account. While we reviewed the account you reported for hate speech or symbols and found it does not violate our Community Guidelines, reports like yours are an important part of making Instagram a safe and welcoming place for everyone. Jewish cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 ORTON Stroller cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 wants to send you a message 83 followers 538 posts Dr.Goebbels Do you want to let cantspellpeanutwithoutnut69 send you messages from now on? They'll only know you've seen their request if you choose Allow Crazy Jewish Mom @crazyjewishmom Are we sure this doesn't "violate community guidelines," @instagram? I'm rarely able see follow up on the (many) reports I submit on the anti-Semitism we receive, bc I get too many notifications. I did catch this one, & it worries me that this is the response to all my reports

Kate Friedman Siegel
instagram

Mother, Can You Not?

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Mother, Can You WOT?ae Mother Can You WoT7 KATE SIEGEL KATE SIEGEL CREATOR OF CRAZYJE WISHMOM ON SALE NOW
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Mother, Can You WOT?ae Mother Can You WoT7 KATE SIEGEL KATE SIEGEL CREATOR OF CRAZYJE WISHMOM ON SALE NOW

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Kate Friedman Siegel


Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts

Mom and Daughter


Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts

New Tricks

Mother @CrazyJewishMom Send me pix of my grandcats, Alexander Pantherton and AAron Purr Did they do the new trick for u l taught them while u were away? No?! OMG what is it?? Delivered Attacking anyone with a man bun
Mother @CrazyJewishMom Send me pix of my grandcats, Alexander Pantherton and AAron Purr Did they do the new trick for u l taught them while u were away? No?! OMG what is it?? Delivered Attacking anyone with a man bun

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Twins!

Mother @CrazyJewishMom Mom I have some REALLY big news You know how you've been wanting grandkids for a while now.... Omg. You're pregnant?!?? Let's go to the gyno and get the 1st ultrasound pix today. START KEGELING NOW Too late! Here they are. Twins Never speaking to u again
Mother @CrazyJewishMom Mom I have some REALLY big news You know how you've been wanting grandkids for a while now.... Omg. You're pregnant?!?? Let's go to the gyno and get the 1st ultrasound pix today. START KEGELING NOW Too late! Here they are. Twins Never speaking to u again

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Stressed Out

Ke Mother @CrazyJewishMom Feeling very anxious. Maybe I should take one of THOR's anti anxiety pills NO NO! Mom. That is DOG Prozac Oh please, doggie, human.. Prozac is Prozac. MOM Delivered WELL, Maybe if you would set a wedding date I wouldn't be so stressed out
Ke Mother @CrazyJewishMom Feeling very anxious. Maybe I should take one of THOR's anti anxiety pills NO NO! Mom. That is DOG Prozac Oh please, doggie, human.. Prozac is Prozac. MOM Delivered WELL, Maybe if you would set a wedding date I wouldn't be so stressed out

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Don't Bother

Mother @CrazyJewishMom You are going to love your Mother's Day present! Will it come head first out of ur vagina? Delivered Then don't bother
Mother @CrazyJewishMom You are going to love your Mother's Day present! Will it come head first out of ur vagina? Delivered Then don't bother

Kate Friedman Siegel
crazy jewish mom funny texts

Book Nominations

Mother CrazyJewishMom Mom, where are you? Answer your phone. Go away. Getting my legs tan My book just got nominated for best comedy book in the Goodreads 2016 Choice Awards!!Go online and vote for me Omg. Omg. Amazing. Who else is nominated? Amy Schumer, jessi klein, tig notaro Delivered Oy. You're dead meat. They're all famous and hilarious. Can we go on snapshot now and beg people to vote for u??? How do I put it on my Facebook??
Mother CrazyJewishMom Mom, where are you? Answer your phone. Go away. Getting my legs tan My book just got nominated for best comedy book in the Goodreads 2016 Choice Awards!!Go online and vote for me Omg. Omg. Amazing. Who else is nominated? Amy Schumer, jessi klein, tig notaro Delivered Oy. You're dead meat. They're all famous and hilarious. Can we go on snapshot now and beg people to vote for u??? How do I put it on my Facebook??

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Brooklyn Lockdown

..ooo AT&T 9:46 PM 85 %-, くMessages Mother Details OMG. Turn on CNN. THEY ARE CLOSING ALL BRIDGES AND TUNNELS. Brooklyn is now cut off from civilization. please double lock ur doors. Stay away from the windows . keep the pink pepper spray loaded and under ur pillow Does Superjew know self- defense.
..ooo AT&T 9:46 PM 85 %-, くMessages Mother Details OMG. Turn on CNN. THEY ARE CLOSING ALL BRIDGES AND TUNNELS. Brooklyn is now cut off from civilization. please double lock ur doors. Stay away from the windows . keep the pink pepper spray loaded and under ur pillow Does Superjew know self- defense.

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Rainforest

Mother @CrazyJewishMom Omg, on Park Ave. my skirt just flew ALL the way up like Marilyn Monroe!!! What's with this wind? Were you wearing cute underwear? Delivered Cute underwear? I haven't shaved from the knee up. It's like a rainforest down there
Mother @CrazyJewishMom Omg, on Park Ave. my skirt just flew ALL the way up like Marilyn Monroe!!! What's with this wind? Were you wearing cute underwear? Delivered Cute underwear? I haven't shaved from the knee up. It's like a rainforest down there

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Parking Spots On The Upper West Side

Mother @CrazyJewishMom I'm in a stand off for a parking spot on the uws with this a------ who cut halfway into the spot I was parking in. So I want to DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE LAY DOWN IN THE SPOT AND SCREAM THAT HE HIT ME You found a parking spot on the upper west side??? You do whatever it takes mom Whatever it takes. Delivered
Mother @CrazyJewishMom I'm in a stand off for a parking spot on the uws with this a------ who cut halfway into the spot I was parking in. So I want to DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE LAY DOWN IN THE SPOT AND SCREAM THAT HE HIT ME You found a parking spot on the upper west side??? You do whatever it takes mom Whatever it takes. Delivered

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Wedding Dress Shopping

Mother @CrazyJewishMom Spawn, i don't understand why u refuse to look at wedding gowns? I scheduled an appointment for u this week on Thursday Mom stop. I have to work Thursday Delivered Okay thats it, my Procrastinator Patty. Either u come or I go myself and try on dresses for u. I'll send u the pix. Im dead Serious
Mother @CrazyJewishMom Spawn, i don't understand why u refuse to look at wedding gowns? I scheduled an appointment for u this week on Thursday Mom stop. I have to work Thursday Delivered Okay thats it, my Procrastinator Patty. Either u come or I go myself and try on dresses for u. I'll send u the pix. Im dead Serious

Kate Friedman Siegel
crazy jewish mom funny texts

Hypothetical Wedding Op

Mother CrazyJewishMom Who are those people? Oksana and jonny! Met them at city hall. See, I got my marriage certificate for ur hypothetical wedding why are you in a picture with them? Delivered Well at this rate it might be the only Mother of the Bride picture I ever get Oh and while I was there I was a witness for another fabulous couple!
Mother CrazyJewishMom Who are those people? Oksana and jonny! Met them at city hall. See, I got my marriage certificate for ur hypothetical wedding why are you in a picture with them? Delivered Well at this rate it might be the only Mother of the Bride picture I ever get Oh and while I was there I was a witness for another fabulous couple!

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazy jewish mom

Bagel Fire

@CrazyJewishMom Crappppp I started another fire in the kitchen OMG????? KATE, Pick up your phone right now or I'm calling 911 Are u ok? No no stop it's finr. It was a small fire...was toasting a bagel and forgot about it Delivered You're eating a BAGEL???Areu crazy? Carbs are the enemy of the wedding gown
@CrazyJewishMom Crappppp I started another fire in the kitchen OMG????? KATE, Pick up your phone right now or I'm calling 911 Are u ok? No no stop it's finr. It was a small fire...was toasting a bagel and forgot about it Delivered You're eating a BAGEL???Areu crazy? Carbs are the enemy of the wedding gown

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazyjewishmom

Elephants

Mother @CrazyJewishMom Great New York Times piece about Lucy the Elephant. You should definitely get married there AI Yeah and we'll slide down the trunk for our entrance to the reception! No, you will jet ski in on the beach
Mother @CrazyJewishMom Great New York Times piece about Lucy the Elephant. You should definitely get married there AI Yeah and we'll slide down the trunk for our entrance to the reception! No, you will jet ski in on the beach

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny text crazyjewishmom

Fasting 101

Mother @CrazyJewishMom So I had 2 bagels for breakfast. I'm thinking chinese for lunch, french fries for second lunch, and maybe pizza for dinner. It's a good day. MOM you're going to be sick Delivered Nope! This is the G-D approved carboload before the Yom Kippur fast. It's in the Torah
Mother @CrazyJewishMom So I had 2 bagels for breakfast. I'm thinking chinese for lunch, french fries for second lunch, and maybe pizza for dinner. It's a good day. MOM you're going to be sick Delivered Nope! This is the G-D approved carboload before the Yom Kippur fast. It's in the Torah

Kate Friedman Siegel
funny texts crazyjewishmom

Voting

Mother> @Crazy JewishMom Spawn, did u vote yet or do I have to come all the way to stupid, Manbun Brooklyn, grab u, and force u to do ur civic duty? VOTE Done. But for the record, "grabbing and forcing" someone to do something is never a good idea. Delivered Tell that to the President
Mother> @Crazy JewishMom Spawn, did u vote yet or do I have to come all the way to stupid, Manbun Brooklyn, grab u, and force u to do ur civic duty? VOTE Done. But for the record, "grabbing and forcing" someone to do something is never a good idea. Delivered Tell that to the President

Kate Friedman Siegel
crazyjewishmom funny texts